Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Erinn and Ollie: Taking the Good With the Bad

Episode Date: September 3, 2021

This week, Erinn and Ollie are back to share more about their relationship. They cover pet peeves, love languages, jealousy, independence, and much more. Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by:Coors Light: www.coorslight.com/HUDSONBombas: www.Bombas.com/siblingEach & Every: EachandEvery.com/SIBLING PROMO CODE: Sibling30See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.

This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native Culture is alive.

My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other Native stories on the show, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.

And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling Ravelry. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Reveory. That's good.

Do it again. Hello, hello. Hello? Yeah, your levels are lower. You talk so quiet. Oh, well, I mean, can I turn up my volume? Well, that's what I'm doing, Vanier. Oh.

I can talk. louder yeah we always try to talk in this sort of like sultry voice i what like right now your microphone is 17 feet from your mouth because i was taking a sip of my coffee but your voice does you do have different voices um so do you not really oh my god yes you do you for sure have different voices for different friends like you have you know five six whatever like really great friends I would bet money that based on how you were talking to that person

I could guess what friend it is for sure Probably then why do you always ask I was like who is that well because I'm curious if I'm right you know but you talk to Jackie a certain way you talk to Robin for sure a certain way

Lori you know Machine, Sam, everyone, like you have a different thing. And then when you're ordering food or you're doing, you're having a call that requires sort of you to be friendly. I mean, your voice goes way up, very high octave. Like, what? It just gets high, you know, and then ordering. when you're ordering food, too.

That's my pet peeve. My voice gets high? No, you're ordering. Oh, my ordering, I know. Oh, I mean, I love you. But not really. I'll preface it. I'll preface it.

Preface. Preface? Preface. Preface. Preface. It's early. It's really early. You're already starting.

with, like, your pet peeves about me? I don't know. I just dropped the kids off at the pool. You did. Together. I'm not an early morning person. It's an AM podcast, for sure. I thought you were, like, coming out me right now with, like, pet peeves.

I was going to start to get angry. Well, we can get into pet peeves if you want. I don't think it's a good idea. Why? I don't know, just saying like a little cranky in the morning. No, no, but it's interesting because I think in relationships, or at least you and I, we each have each other, we each have pet peeves, but they're minor,

meaning it's not deal-breaking shit, but there are still things that you do or that I do that you don't acknowledge in the moment because it's just part of what I do and you live with it. Chewing in bed at that. Right, so let's go over these. What are some of yours for me? The chewing.

We'll explain. Well, you're like a very dramatic chewer in general. It's not that your mouth is open. You chew your mouth closed, but it's very, like, exaggerated and loud. And then a lot of times, like, you'll get in bed and be crunching on chips or, like, chewing on things. Well, you're trying to sleep? Well, I don't know, or read or do something. I look over, and it's just, it's maybe because it's like we're in bed and it's

extra quiet, but it always feels so loud. And I know you're, sometimes I'm like, is he doing that to annoy me on purpose? Because like sometimes you do like to do that. Well, not, you like to annoy me a little bit sometimes. I don't really like to do that to you, but just in general, you do. Sometimes you like to like push buttons. Yeah, that's my personality, though. so chewing

like in bed at night yeah like when it's quiet the thing is I know that it's loud I know that it's loud but that's like not a big deal you know and then you know my other one is like shaving and the sick oh the shaving yeah but you've been getting better you really have you try and like put down a towel

and I don't know if anybody else has this but the rate the shape it's like an electric razor and the hair from the beard manscape yeah yeah and the hair goes everywhere and we have like a white counter and a white sink and then it's down on the floor and it gets into the crevices of the tiles and like i can't stand that and the hair and it's always a mess and it's usually like on a day that like you know it's just like cleaned up and everything looks nice and then it's like zzz look in and it's like a black like nest of like shaved hair like in the sink on the counter and then it's like somehow it gets on to like you know the toothpaste holder and like the floor and I don't like to like walk in it's

just very hard to like clean up right I get that do you ever are you ever not in the bathroom and then all of a sudden you're like oh yeah they know and I'm like oh no yep but you try now you try and put down a towel and I get it. You definitely try. What else am I going to do? Where am I supposed to do that? I mean, I can't go outside. Like, where am I supposed to shave my beer? You know what I did see though once on like an Instagram ad or somewhere is like a net thing that like goes over your sink? Someone invented it. I'm sure it was like, you know, some wife or a partner that created it because they couldn't stand it. I mean, it is insane.

I mean, there are hairs that fly in crazy direction. They're little and they're hard to pick up. Like, I don't know. Maybe like in the shower we get like a mirror on the wall and you can do it in there. Not when it's showering. Like the shower isn't on. Oh, so just like step into a dry shower. Step into the shower before you're going to shower.

Have like a mirror stuck on the wall. You know, sometimes you have that. There's like the sticky mirrors. So you can see it and you do it. and then you just clean yourself and all the hair. It's kind of great. Okay. I'm actually glad we had this discussion.

No, it's good. I mean, I get that. I get that. My ordering, what happens to now is like because I know that you don't like it. And then it makes me extra nervous and then it's even harder to make a decision. Okay. It's just we, I have this anxiety around waiters and, you know, or people who are in the service industry. who are, I know they have a thousand other tables that they're trying to get to.

There's an order of things. Yes, I was a waitress. I know, I get it. I'm always so polite and so nice. You're amazing. I'm just explaining myself. You know, I have an issue with not just you, but people, when the waiter comes around to take an order, it's like, well, I, God, you know, well, what about the, is the mac and cheese like,

I mean, well, what about the salmon? And he's like, I don't know. And I'm just sitting there like, oh, my God, this person needs to get to the next table. Like, fucking, let's get the order in and go. But would you rather worry about that person getting to the next table or me ordering the wrong thing and then being, like, disappointed or annoyed or like, you need to, you need to prep, order prep. You know what I mean? Like, okay, we're at a restaurant, boom.

I know what's up. Like the waiters coming around and I know what's going on. But sometimes I don't. I get scared. I don't know. You know what I mean? And I'm like trying to make a decision on what I want. And then it's like I have an indecisive problem.

I mean, that's an issue. I'm always afraid to like make the wrong decision. I mean, it could literally be like, do I want like pink gum, like bubble gum or mint? And now, you know, nowadays I just grab both. I'm indecisive, but I make a choice or a decision to then fucking, boom, make a choice. Yeah, and half the time you're like pissed with your meal order. You're like, why did I get this? Well, it's not just food.

I'm just saying in general. I mean, I have indecision, but, you know, I make a choice to be like, okay, fucking just do it. I mean, in the last couple days, I've been in clean mode, throwing things out that I have kept for years. but I'd just be like, throw it away, don't think about it, throw it away, don't think about it. Or give it away. We're not throwing it away. But yeah. Well, I mean, I give away the things that I can give away. No, but I know what you mean. Yeah, you're much more better at that. Better at that. And it also does feel good when you do make a decision. It's like, I did it.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But I like to make decisions like when it comes to planning and you don't. I am not a planner. I do not like the plan. I like spontaneity. but you realize with the family and plane tickets and travel and packing and all the things that I do that you don't have to think about take planning no I mean to be serious to get serious for a second to get serious for a second that is something that I think about you know that I do tell you but the little things that you do and I think this is probably relatable in a lot of

of relationships. You know, the things that get taken for granted. Oh, this is going to be something nice? You're going to say? Oh, yeah. The shit that you have to take care of are the things that you do, the small things to make the whole thing run, things that I could never do. It's amazing. I mean, it really is just the little things. No, I think about it, you know, and I think that the kids don't understand that. either. You know, they need to understand like all those little things that go into making their life easier. You know, everything. I know. So true. Well, I like to be organized. I'm like not an organized person, but I crave it. You know, so. You're an interesting human being. There's

great juxtaposition going on. Like, you need organization, but you on. Don't know. know how to do it. You can't do it. I can't. My favorite store, like in the world, one of them anyways, you know what it is. The container store. Container store. I get giddy. When I see it, when I walk in, I usually end up buying, you know, hundreds of dollars of worth of like organizational products. And then they come home and then they just sit here because I don't know how to do that part. The amount of bins that we've had in our 20 years of being together. I mean, you could stack those 30,000 feet in the air. We've had so many bins. It's crazy. No, I know. It's a hard, it's a hard one. Like, you know, a couple of like my best friends in the whole world are literally

borderline OCD like organized and I envy it. You know, there's no clutter. There's no like piles in their house and there's no, you know, I look at things sometimes and I just don't have that, that part, you know, that gene that like, where everything goes and it goes in its place. Now, when I do that, it's amazing. It's just keeping it up. I'm not great at that part, but. So why is the house always so chaotic? Well, because first of all, I'm the only one because no one else would ever do anything.

Like, think about the things that just sit on the stairs. Does anybody else have this? Okay, we have an upstairs. And there's everything that gets brought down during the day. or from the kitchen to go upstairs, let's say, or from upstairs toys and things like that that get brought down, no one puts anything away. Like, that's one thing.

Well, shit just gets draped over things. Over things. It's like on a chair, on a countertop. Like, you know, things don't get put back in their place, really. I mean, Wilder now finally at 14, like, keeps his shit. Well, he cares about his room. But what he does is, like, his base. looks amazing.

I mean, he's literally, like, organized and he likes to clean it all up and make everything look great. Oh, yeah, but outside of his room. Yes, but he doesn't want in his room, he just takes and puts outside of his room in the hallway. There's like stacks of shit outside of his room. That's so funny.

His room's immaculate, but outside of his room. His room's like the best room in the house right now. For sure, it's beautiful. But everything he doesn't want just stacked up right outside of his door. I know. Well, it's hard with kids. I mean, honestly, like three kids, two dogs.

No, I know. And this is the way we live. For us, I'm saying for us. Other people can do it and be organized. We sometimes get overwhelmed by the kids frat house that we live in, honestly. But that's just the way we fucking do it. Of course. I mean, you look at our friends who have three kids who have a nice, clean adult home.

It's not us. We don't have that. But there's a reason for. for it you know what i mean like like it's my fault or no oh i mean but like i can't here's the thing it's like we live out of laundry baskets because i feel like all i do is say laundry between teenage boys like you know workout clothes towels you know everything so how how do other people do it how do our friends i don't know like i just don't have time to like fold laundry and put it away. So I have clean baskets and dirty baskets. And then it's just like, a free for all.

Yeah. It's like, this is a clean basket of clothes. Get in there and, you know, deal with the wrinkles. Get what you need. It's like, who has time for that? Like, the other thing is, and I'm sure like a lot of moms feel this way too, but like by the time like the kids go down is when you think like, and this is how some people do work. That's when they like clean up and tidy up. And I'm done at that point my bed is calling me i want to do nothing but like not be needed and and just like get in bed and it's like done so if i don't get stuff done during the day but then and i'm not complaining it's just a funny thing but it's like if you clean one room and then you go into the next all of a sudden you come back and it's like the chaos of the day backpack snacks you know art projects out on the

table like you know whatever it might be it's impossible to get ahead yeah And we travel a lot. So, like, right now, sitting next to us is our bags from the weekend. No, from Laguna. Yeah. In one week, we were in Colorado on a Sunday, L.A., Albuquerque, New Mexico, down to Laguna for the weekend, and then back home, first night of school. Yeah. So I still have bags because I come in and I'm like, I don't need anything in that bag for this next trip because it's a different place.

No, I know. And then the unpacking of the bags. But, like, literally one of my best friends, Sam, we came home from the same trip. And I said to her, I made it said something like, oh, you know, I'm just going to be unpacking tomorrow. And she's like, wait, are you forgetting who I am? She's like, I'm already unpacked because she literally gets home, takes out the suitcases and unpacks immediately. Oh, yeah. Ours will sit for weeks.

Well, that's the difference. That's the difference between us and them. Just them, meaning collective, the collective them, the general them, you know, who do that stuff. Like, we just let that shit sit because we get home and it's like, all right, let's just, let's just chill for a second. Let's just chill for 10 days. And then we'll get to it. So Danielle, Santoro, my goodness. She's a friend.

Yes, did a post or something like a long time ago. And I laughed because I was like, oh my God, I so get this. like our bed in the morning like a lot of people will make their bed and I think it's the center of the bedroom if the bed is a mess the rest of the room kind of feels like a mess

right even if your side tables are messy or there's laundry or whatever and but like I'm not making my bed in the morning I'm rushing around trying to get kids ready for school whatever but she was like am I the only one that before I get in bed at night

I will make the bed you do I do. No, but Danielle did this and she did a post and I remember like literally being like, oh my God, there's another person on the planet that does this, which is I like a tidy looking bed. You know, tighten the sheets up, pluff your pillows already, get the comfort or straightened the whole thing. And then it's like nicer to get into. No, I get that. I wouldn't do that. But I get it. Like I look at it. Imagine if I saw you doing that one. Oh my God. I'd get so late. You really want. Oh, for sure. For sure. As soon as you start like organizing things and doing life. Your clothes would be 100% off. Yep.

You know. I'd be bent over the bed. Yeah. 100% if you just randomly walked in and I'm like, you know, fucking bouncing quarters off the bed. Making the tight. I love you're laughing so hard because it's like something I would never do. No, I mean, when you're not here, you're on girls weekends or whatever, like I, you know. Oh, the house.

Oh, I don't. Get it. No, no. But see, that's not true. No, no, I want to go on record here. When I'm alone, I clean. Which means you mean your cleaner isn't here, me. No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Meaning, you know, I don't like to live in filth. So when I'm not, when you are gone, like I am much more proactive. I'm clean. Oh, yeah, no, I agree. I agree. And then I always try to make the house look nice for when you come back. I know.

You do. Because that's one of our love languages. Yeah. I think it's the most underrated, genius, like relationship-saving book out there, the five languages of love. No, it's, it's simple and it's very accurate. Simple. And once you read it and really get it and actually... Yeah, he was on this podcast.

I know. I know. I wish she was here with us right now. I know. Because... I know. Speaking of that physical touch, which is mine. Getting back to you.

Yeah. You know, you... I've been slacking a little bit. I mean, you know. Not really. A little bit maybe. Yeah. I mean, it's fine.

You know, you just, it's not your deal. You don't, you're not touchy-feely, just generally. Well, I'm affectionate. It's not like I'm like... I know. But let's, let's, let's, hold on, let's be honest. Would you agree that you are very needy in the affection area? So I am like an affectionate person, but I need to do a lot more than I do for you because it is your love language.

I'm like rubbing your bag in your head and like I come over and I cuddle on you. You do? I mean, the last five months, what you've been going through? I'm saying sometimes. I haven't been like rubbing on you, scratching your head. You've been good. You've been good. You've been good, but I will say this. I could do better?

No. Okay. It's been like maybe two weeks since I've been, you know, a 10 being 100% back to myself. Right. I'm in a nine. Yeah. I still have some shit, but I'm pretty much back, right? Yeah.

And so once you saw me back? Back? You're like, all right, my job is done. You're like, oh, he's back? Oh, he does. Oh, good. Fuck, yeah, I don't need to deal with that anymore. Yeah, but also our last two weeks, I've been passed.

backing up after living somewhere for an entire summer. It's not even about taking 30 minutes out of your day to like cuddle me. It's the small thing. No, but it's also like my mind is somewhere. You know, every day, morning, evening, and I just touch you. Yeah. Let's see how I do from now until the next podcast in the affection area. Because it is your love language.

I need to, you know, but here's the thing. It doesn't come, you know, say naturally to me. I have to remember it. This is like where the thing comes in. It's work. Like yours for me, you know what it is. And it's a con, you have to make a conscious effort to, you know. But I like doing it.

I like acts of service where I didn't before. Once we got into this sort of love language thing or understood that people accept, you know, receive and give love in a certain way. Are there certain aspects of that that connect with them more? once we sort of understood that, I had to force myself. It's like anything else. You fake it before you make it. You can actually change your brain chemistry. If you just, Jodispenza, if you just fucking hammer it, even if you're not feeling it,

even if it's like this isn't inherently who I am, but I know my partner likes this and you have to get through it. And then you start to like it. I know. And so for me, acts of service in the beginning was like, oh, Jesus Christ. Christ, okay, what am I doing? And this is, but now I, I, I like it. There's a satisfaction that I get. Mm-hmm.

For opening the car door for me. Yeah, I've been doing that more. I know, I love it. But, or how about like when I have the groceries and I don't have to ask you to, like, come help me and you just do it? I know. But the thing is, I would do that if I didn't, if I knew you were coming home, you know what I mean? Like, you usually call me and you're like, I'm here with the groceries. So I'm like, okay, let's go.

I don't have a chance to do that. But the car door thing is interesting because that's old school. I know. But it's not, really. And, I mean, to be blunt, I've never opened car doors, you know, for you or I just never even crossed my mind. Just like I never crossed my mind to ask your dad. Right. For your hand in marriage.

Then it wasn't even a thought. Right. Well, you didn't grow up with that kind of stuff. I didn't. I really didn't. And your dad is way more old school and he still opens car doors for. for your mom. I mean, he, that's traditional. It's traditional. So, yeah, I had to. I just love it. But I feel insecure about it. I feel like, oh, God, like, there's a weird

vulnerability. Vulnerability. Yeah. Here you go. Because I know you're going to be like, oh, and then I feel patronized. And I'm like, oh, fuck. But it's not like an awe, like a patronizing. It's like, oh, thank you, babe. I'm like, I know. Well, like, what's the movie, like, singles or something where like she gets in first and then. He locks the door. Yeah, and locks the door. And then. If you unlock it, if you unlock it, if you unlock the door. Yes, like she reaches over and unlocks for him. Like, it's just that those cute little, like, romantic gestures I love.

Like, I don't know. Yeah, I just had, like, a gentleman dad. Like, I love that. I know. Stuff. But you also had a super, like, independent mom that, like, did everything and didn't need anything. Yeah. You know.

Like, I can do things. Like, when I ask you to do things around the house, like, it's not like I can't do them. But sometimes I'm just like, eh. can you change the light bulbs or you know I like yeah which by the way we need to do 78% of our lights are out now we've been gone all summer and the lights were out no that was a turning point in our relationship the light bulbs yeah remember that that was four years ago or three years ago yep you cried yep literally cried to me cried because I didn't do the light bulbs but it was deeper than that meaning like she asked and asked and I just that was part of my turning point

of like, okay, acts of service. Well, you always say you were going to, and then it became, like, me nagging, and then it was, like, an issue. And I'm like, don't say you're going to do it if you're not going to. Like, you know, it just dug in deeper. It wasn't about the...

And then you cried. The light bulbs. And then I did. I think I cried a little bit. And you're like, just don't do the light bulbs. You just don't do the goddamn light bulbs. Translation, you don't care about me. Yeah.

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I want to get back to the... Marriage. I want to get back to the bad situation for a second because something, Sometimes the bed looks beautiful and you make it. And it's like, ooh. And it's not a freshie. You know what I mean? Does everybody know what a freshie is?

A freshie, well, it's like a brand new, clean bed where it's like, brand new sheets put on right before bed. It's like that. It's called a freshie. But it looks, it can be deceiving because it looks like a freshie and then you get in it. And the kids have been in it eating fucking crackers and cookies. The kids? because there's no crumbs at my side of the bed

literally Wilder came in yesterday and he was like he went to like cuddle with me like in bed and he's like and he like jumps up and he was like what and he's like there's like

crumbs all over dead side and I was like yep that's right I was like okay okay yeah I know what you mean I know what you mean

There's crumbs. Yep. So you're saying I put the crumbs there for the most far. I mean, I definitely don't eat chips in bed. Maybe some chocolate snacks or something. Right. I'm just a snack or a late night. You are a late night snacky.

Yep. I know. So maybe I do put the crumbs in the bed, but I get in the bed and it's just like sleeping in crumbs. Oh. Oh, it's not good. It's the, there is no sleeping in crumbs. You have to get up and at least, like, swipe them out. Swipe or no swiping.

Yeah. It's not good. You've got to tighten the sheet because usually the sheet, you know, is coming off the corners a little bit. Tighten the sheet, kind of fluff the pillows. Get your pillows situated. You always steal mine when you're watching TV, and then I have to yank them out from underneath you before bed. That's another pet peeve. I can't stand that.

I know, but you've got to realize. Like, if you're on my, sleeping with my, you know, watching TV with my pillows, I'm going to take them. Sharon is like a pillow insane person. Like, she knows, if she put a blindfold on and you put 25 pillows in front of her and she could pick out the six that she uses without looking. She could just pick them, feel them, smell them, and pick the six. I'm not like smelling them, but I do know my pillows. And so sometimes I'll have pillows on my side that I'm sort of, you know, into a show and I'm just sort of, I'm so cozy, and all of a sudden, they just get yanked out from under my neck.

Like, gink, gink, gink, and all of a sudden I'm lying flat on my back. I'm like, sorry. Sorry. I'm like, Jesus Christ. I know. I honestly, we've got to figure out the pillow situation. I got to, like. Yeah, my pillows suck lately.

Well, I also like a little firmer, like, big pillow. You like, like, floppy, like down. So it's like Yeah Yeah I gotta figure it out I know I know

We got lots to figure out Now I know We do No we don't Well we started with pet peeves You only got into one Which is my ordering

Yeah I have a couple more Oh But the ordering thing I do sometimes try and work on but then I get really nervous because I know that you're like annoyed and I'm like I don't know I know but guess guess what my number one is late no no so with the late thing I'm late-ish too with Aaron it's like she knows she's late she accepts that she's late you accept that you're just a late person and you're almost okay with it

because it's just because i'm usually rushing around and stressed out i don't like it i'm always like but i like can't find things it comes down to like organization you know where is everything and at last minute and the thing is you just need so many things to get out of the house yes i do that's another problem yeah but you got to start earlier you know what i mean like but but this This is not, this is a, this is 40 years in the making. This is not anything new. This is, you, you said something really interesting to me when we first started dating, actually, because I was dealing with, you know, in that moment, always sort of dealing with my dad

and how that relationship has affected my life and my career and in my relationships and yada, yeah. And that early on you said, you, you said, you know, you, you, you, you said, you know, you, you, you, you, you recognize the issues, but you're not doing anything about it. You're not being proactive, basically. Like, yeah, you get that your dad did this and you're, you know, this is a symptom of your dad not being there and all that,

but you just, it's good enough for you just to understand it and know it, but not actually do the work and figure it out. And I was like, oh shit, that's true. You know, which is a whole other topic. But that's similar with you and you're late. It's like, yeah, this, I know this is who I am. am but yeah it's just no fuck it it's who i am i mean look there's a little part of like at this point i'm like these are things you know about myself and i try and work on them sometimes and then

other times i'm like gotta take the good with the bad the other one is burping yeah yeah oh that's my biggest i haven't been doing it a lot lately have you noticed you do you do you do not really when was the last time oh baby do it all the time you do it all the time you do This is an unconscious thing. Yeah, but it's, and by the way, to preface it, it's not even about burping, like, meaning like if you burp, you burp, it's normal. I don't dislike burping, but you make yourself burp, you know what I mean? And I can see when you do that. I haven't done it lately.

I love you. I don't want you to get mad at me. Are we getting divorced? No, no, no, no. Okay. No. No. I mean, you have so much credit in this relationship.

It's crazy. You've got a lot of credit. I do. I've been saving up. I've been saving up. Are you attracted to other guys? Yeah. Where did that come from?

I don't know. I just had like an image of you in like a bar or something. It just like popped into your head. Yeah. My God. What was I wearing in the event? But do you and your girls, like, talk about dudes? Not like guys do.

Do you know what I mean? Like, you have a girl's night tonight. Oh, no, you get it last night, sorry. Yeah. Like, do you talk about guys? Like, besides our husbands? Yeah. Not really.

Like, unless there's, like, some, like, show or, you know, it's like, Brad Pitt's on this or, you know, something and it might come up. But, like, we're not sitting around, like, talking about guys, like, you know, men do. There's, like, 10 other things that we're talking about before that. But, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, but of course, like, of course I find other guys, like, attractive. What? That would be sad and scary if I didn't. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean... Always, like, first of all, I think, you know, there's a reality to, just because you're in love with someone or attracted to your person, doesn't mean that you can't be attracted to other people. And also, like, want to, you know, be, like, seen as, you know, attractive to other people as well. Do you know what I mean? Like, that doesn't really go away. Not that I, like, I'm saying, you know, you care less about that. that but no i know what you mean just in life yeah of course i mean i always have said this i don't know

if i said it in the first podcast too but like it's hard to be monogamous it's not the natural state you know what i mean of humans it's like literally i think swans and like you know one other i don't know that story oh so sad oh my god that's the worst like i could still cry about it Oh, we're in Colorado and this goose, you know, they pair up and this goose in the pond. Yeah, no, they pair up and they're, they're, they're mate for life. Made for life, yeah, exactly. I think geese do, right? Geese and swan?

Well, yeah, I think they do. I think geese do. If not, they hang out and have babies and then leave. I don't know, but like, anyway, there were two geese and one of them died in the pond. And we were like, well, they were there every day. So we would, like, see them. They were like this little couple. We thought that they were a couple.

What did we name them? Was it like, Brad and Angelina or something like. Not Brad and Angelina. No, but it was something like that. Right, right, right, right. It was like a, there was a reason for it. And one of them, like, was just floating and dead. And it, and the other one was just, you know, honking.

Oh, devastated. They stayed there for like two weeks. oh my god we'd go by every day and then check and he or she i don't know which one it was would just stay there and like i'm like honk it was like heartbreaking and finally well then she found another dude right well let's just say it was the guy and the wife you know died he was like a widower and so literally was there every day like honking and just sitting there and like near the other you know dead one or like waiting for it to come back whatever it was morning it was horrible and then we went away and when we came back we're like oh my god i wonder if he's

still there and there was another goose so we were like maybe that was a widow and her partner goose died too and then they found each other oh that was the story that's the story that's the children's book yes and then they like flew off and lived happily ever after they found each other i know i know so when you're dealing with or this if you have this idea this concept that you know sort of we're not naturally monogamous which primally I guess you're right because there was just about procreation I mean I think there is some hard wiring there you know what I mean oh yeah it's hard and it's been it's been sort of this societal not pressure but just it's the right thing to sort of be with one person at least in this culture but how do you factor that in

to what just to your everyday relationship you know or how would one factor that in meaning it's just having an understanding of of that if in fact you do believe that yeah i mean i think i won't even say like male-female but i would just say person to person it's different you know like i find comfort in one person in my partner you know what i mean and some people don't and they crave something else or they get bored

or they're, you know, whatever, but Mm-hmm. That's it, it's all you got. Well, no, I'm just trying to like articulate it and have it makes sense, but I think

when you commit to somebody and want to be in a monogamous relationship, like it's it shouldn't be like hard work i don't like that at all you should want to be there of course but it just doesn't mean that you're not going to be attracted to somebody else or want to you know but generally speaking if you i think if you kind of find you know the one or your partner you're you don't want to do that well of course not but i'm saying that hard wiring or that idea that we're not monogamous. I mean, you take that into account when dealing,

you know, or when giving each other sort of room to be attracted to other people and not being so judgmental, you know, being like, oh, well, yeah, of course, as long as you're with me. Right. Well, that was always like my feeling. I was like, go flirt, have fun, like you're coming home to me.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I was never threatened or, or, you know didn't i i'm i'm i'm i think i'm naturally jealous you know in the beginning of all my relationships all three and even ours like oh yeah i get hot jealous and then it and then it subsides but yeah i need to know everything well i think you're still jealous you know way more than me oh yeah yeah for sure but i'm saying i needed to know everything remember i mean you know i i want to know every dude every detail i'm just saying i need to know i need to know i need to know we were friends first. So we did a lot of talking. It's not like most people get into a relationship and don't do that. It's more like what happened before us is happened before us and now moving forward. You were not. You were very much like, you know, needed to know, which I get. I like, I have no problem. But you still bring up things 20 years later that happened like a few years before we were even dating and it gets you hot and fired and you're mad. I just, I mean, in general, I'm jealous. Like some do.

like when their girlfriend's wives whatever it is when they're attractive people and other men are looking at them you know and they're on display and guys feel proud and like yeah I don't like I wanted to look hot and sexy and da da da I kind of I'm the opposite I don't you know when you're in this mode of wearing all these sort of sundresses now with no bras like and I love it. But what, what about like dudes looking? I don't know. Like bothers you. I don't know. It's so funny. I don't like it. It's weird. I mean, 20 years in, it's like, you know, it's like when you used to wear the ponytail, the fake ponytail. Oh my God. That's funny. When we first started dating, you know, wear this fake ponytail thing, you know, that was like sort of long

and sexy. It was like an extension thing. But like I would just lick my hair, my shorter hair, put it in. and then, but it looked like this long ponytail. And it was like hot. I loved it. It drove me crazy because it looked hot. And I was like, oh, Jesus. When she's going out to fucking clubs and bars and I'm not there. I mean, every dude is going to be looking at it.

I hung up on you one night, remember? Yes. Oh my God. Of course. I was literally with Karen and like Sessy, like going into some like party in like Hollywood. And you were like, you know, what are you wearing or something? And then you're like, is your hair curly or straight? because I have like curly-ish hair

but sometimes I would straighten it and you were like asking and I was like, neither I have in like my extension ponytail and you were like click and you like hung up on me as we're like walking into the club I was like hello

hello let's go girl I'm like oh my gosh I did that day I don't like that thing so funny I might have to bring that thing back I know

each and every so we stink you know that's just part of human nature we sweat we stink that's how it works there's no avoiding it we have body odor and our armpits can stink that's just the way it is all right they've had multiple attempts at natural deodorant but until now until each and every came into my life i have never found one that worked but times have changed everybody each and every it really really works i smell great throughout the whole day amazing i'm i i wear it every day i have on my sandalwood scent today there's 10 amazing core sense plus seasonal limited edition sense you've got uh six simple safe ingredients there's no parabens no artificial fragrances i love this it's been found to fight odor as well

as sweat. It seems to actually do really well with that, which is very hard because a lot of natural deodorants have a hard time helping you with that. It's vegan, cruelty-free, comes in a sustainable package made from sugar cane. So we've an awesome deal to get you guys started. 30% off your first purchase of each and every. Just go to our special URL, each and every.com slash sibling and use promo code sibling 30. Don't miss out on 30% off. Use promo code sibling 30 at each and every.com slash sibling. I think jealousy is a tough thing in a relationship, though. Oh, yeah.

You know, you're jealous, but not like... Oh, no, I'm not extreme. For me, it happens early on. It's a little more extreme, and then obviously it's been 20 years. I mean, you kind of get jealous sometimes of, like, my girlfriends, I can tell. A little bit. A little bit. Like, because, you know, okay, I'll elaborate.

And this is something that I've said. Like, in our relationship, you asked me like one time like Chris Martin with what's my passion that I said sleep. Did we tell, did you tell that story? I think we told it. Yeah, we told it. But I also like my girlfriends. That's like a thing for me. It's, you know, it's a huge part of my life.

It's like you're fishing. It's like a passion or it's like a hobby. that you have my spare time away from you or my family is my girlfriends. I love it. And so, you know, just girl time, whatever. But I think sometimes that you get a little, like, jealous, like, when I want to do that or I'm with. Am I wrong? It's not jealous.

I know what you mean. I just like being with you. I'm sorry. Oh, I know. Yeah. I mean, no, I've gotten better with that. I've gotten better with that. You know, that's something that we talked about even before.

went to Hoffman, which we haven't even talked about Hoffman on this show. I know. Oh my gosh. Like your experience with that, my experience with that. Crazy. That'll be the next one. Stay tuned. Hoffman recap. For the special episode, going to Hoffman. And also like the love languages. I want to do those. Well, we can incorporate those too. Okay. But, you know, that was something that I had to come to terms with. You would go away or have weekends with your girlfriend. and I, you know, would get upset by it, you know, not upset, but, you know, I get moody and Yeah, like a little bitch. Yeah, essentially, yes, for real, you know.

I don't know what that is. I mean, there's something deeply, there's something deeper from a psychological part, you know, it's just like I'm going to have a good time and you're not there. No, I guess, or you're giving your time and having your time and having your time and happiness to somebody else even though that's an irrational thought right but still that's probably what it was and if we're going to trace that back you know my mom you know my mom obviously was a movie star and she was traveling around and you know not only that but then fans would come up to her and and want a piece of her you know and I remember as a kid hating that I mean I could not stand

when people came up to her. I still remember the feeling because I still have it today because it's almost this residual trigger. But it would drive me crazy. I'm like, at least, internally I'd be like, just leave her the fuck alone.

I mean, it was really mad. A little bit of like, she's mine. And I, well, I think so. I think it's like people were taking her attention away from me when I needed it most. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You know, this is 20 years of therapy coming out. So, but yeah, that's what it is. So I would attribute my feelings towards you going out with your friends. Maybe there's a similar connection there. But it's something that I had to sort of deal with and get through. And now I'm better, you know, for sure. Oh, yeah, definitely. But, no, it was a thing.

And the other thing, too, is. Like, most of the time, like, girls have a problem or, you know, now we're getting into all the, like, girls and men and women. This is a general statement. But, like, you know, it's like, guys nights and, like, going. you know, to be with the guys and all that. And, you know, it's funny because, like, I love when you go out with your friends. Like, I'm like, go have fun.

Oh, my God. This is great. And then, but you have more of the problem, like, when I'm out with my friends. It's not a problem. Not a problem. You know, it's not a problem. But, you know, now it's better now, you know. Yeah.

But, yeah, it was a thing. It was just sort of like, you know. Are you going to go to Ohio for two nights? Okay. But meanwhile, you go on fishing trips for 10 days. I have no argument. I mean, there's no, I've got no legs to stand on. And tell me moms in the out there, when I leave, I set everything up for the weekend

or whatever it might be for you, literally, from play dates to food to everything set and ready. I know. Because I love to do that. It's beautiful and appreciate it. But honestly, can I be straight up? Yeah. It's overkill. Like, it's almost like you don't think I can handle this.

When I can take all three kids and live for 50 years with them alone. Not to say I wouldn't need you and want you in my life. But like, I can do that shit. Like, I'm not a dad who is. Of course you can, but I like to just be like, I'm not leaving you in the dust. Like I helped out with a few things. And that's why it's, I never say anything really because it's like sweet. and I know that it's good meaning, you know, but it's, it's like, babe, yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, I got it, I got it.

How much, how many times have I said that? Like, too many. I know, I know, I got it. I got it. I love you. I got it. I know, but I like to like make sure everything's like, it's also leaving and being like a kind of controlling-ish micromanticy person is hard to do sometimes because I'm like, I also, you know, there was a period where, you know, I don't know if we, we, we, we, we're,

or like just passing ships or just at a lowish point in our relationship or you know you get to see things in your partner that most people don't see meaning the ups and the downs and the faces that get made and you know oh she's in a bad mood she's in a good mood she's this and this and that she's tired and i know and i used to talk to you about this the minute your friends come around or you could be like pissy or whatever and you get a call from jacky and all of a sudden i'm like what the fuck and she's and you're on the phone like oh my god i'm like i'm like oh she's happy so i can't make her happy but her friends can make her happy and now she's going to go with her girlfriends for two days and be a happy as a clam this isn't now this is

my thinking no i remember and then she comes home this is my internal monologue everyone then she comes home and now she's tired because she you know drank did mushrooms and now it's like it's like oh now she's depleted and this is all the shit that would go through my mind that is just unfair and irrational. I mean, I'm not like that anymore. No, not anymore. Thank God. But I think this is a current theme, I would say, which is you kind of like give your best self to somebody else and your, you know, energy or your time or whatever. And then you come home and you don't have it to give anymore, right? Right. So, but what I will say to that, instead of personalizing it, which a lot of times we've had this discussion before, you realize that the day to day of the light,

isn't so much about your partner. It's just about the responsibilities and, you know, whatever that might be, whether it's, you know, financial, house, cleaning, kids, managing school, like all of the, like, ugh, that, you know, goes on. And your friend's call, and then it takes you out of that for a minute. It's like, oh, my gosh, wait, I'm not mom right now. I'm the friend. or oh my god we can talk and laugh about something that you know you're not doing and then you go away and it does feel or you have a night or you have a birthday or whatever it's like oh my god I can leave all of that behind go laugh have a good time but then you are coming back right it's like it's

like when we do a night or have an anniversary or something we go and it's like reconnected and amazing and you know you sex and sleep in and you're not in your normal roles and then you come back and the joke is literally you walk in the door and it's like gone because you're like oh we're back yeah we're back to like you know the dog shit on the thing and you know the kids are fighting or whatever i mean it's a respite yeah it's also that's just you know normal but i do i get that but it's you can't like personalize it's not like you're not yeah i know you don't do this anymore but no no there's an escape it's like guys and you know let's say husband wants to like go play golf or basketball or workout or it is the feeling of like oh my gosh i'm my own person i'm not

responsible i can leave for a minute well this is what i love about you honestly it's one of my favorite things and i think that it's part of what's kept our relationship amazing and i i would strongly suggest both men and women or each equal partners you know be able to be independent of each other there's a codependency that happens in relationships that will fucking kill it and the most amazing thing about you is that you understand and i always say this to people you get that i love the things that i love and they're important to me my fishing my big fishing trips my golf trips um you know whatever it might be might be my mountain biking or whatever it is it's important to me so it's not necessarily being away from you. It's fulfilling, you know, something inside of me. It's something

that is passionate. And that only makes me a better human being when I'm able to do the things that I love to do. And you have no issue with those things, with me going on a golf course. But I am aware of that. And I try to reciprocate. You know what I mean? It's not just take, take, you have to take stock of your relationship you have to be mindful about your relationship and think you know even yesterday when I'm cleaning you know I'm like okay I'm cleaning okay good I'm doing my part because I know Aaron does her parts and it's time for me to sort of do my parts mm-hmm you know I love that poop I love you but it is true like I this is what I also think too A I know that out mountain biking or you know fishing or your things that say take you away from me and the family, let's say. I don't look at it like that. I love that you love doing that. I know what it does for you. I also want that in return. Right. So you can't, you know, guilt you for going to play golf and you're leaving, but then me want to go and be with my friends or, you know, do something. So I always think, oh my gosh, go and do that because

I don't want to be a bitch about you doing something like that because then, you know, how is that fair for me to be like, bye, I'm leaving for the weekend, you know. It's a very, like, give and take in that area. I also love my alone time, you know, we're a very together couple, like, all the time, you know, and so sometimes it is nice to be like, ah, I can just be in a zone of not taking care of everybody or, you know, whatever that might be. And I know for you getting out fishing and, you know, golfing or, you know, being with the guys, it is nice sometimes to not be oh my god i'm in husband dad mode work mode i can just go and be mode no i know but you know it's so funny is it's with all the people that i know with all the

husbands with all the men that i know they're in my life i've 100% for sure more than half i'd say maybe even 85% have these restrictions that get put on them oh i can't do that or she's you know she and my wife isn't going to let me do that or whatever it is. I'm always just amazed. Me too. That's fucking bullshit. Why? It's not a big deal.

And letting, I mean, that's so crazy. Now, I will say, you don't know the backstory, right? 100%. I know, I know. If, you know, somebody works all week long and, you know, they're one day on the weekend to be with the kids or help around the house or do whatever that might be, my thing is, is my family comes first. Right? So as long as that is the theme, you know, and you're making the effort, I think we should all have our own things to do and not be threatened by it. And, you know, I know that's hard for some people. Mm-hmm. You know.

Yeah, no, it's a good point. Like there's a feeling of like, oh, you know, I mean, I'm speaking from such a personal space. I'm very lucky to be an actor to work hard, you know, but then have just time off. I mean, I'm always doing shit. Here and there, but like, I mean, beyond our situation is not a gig where it's, you know, nine to five and you wake up, you know, then it's like, oh, it's the weekend. I'm out. Sorry, I'm going fishing for the weekend. And the kids and your wife are like, what the, you're not fucking going fishing. You haven't seen us all week. Right. And also, I will say this. And I'm sure I can, this will resonate too with people. But, you know, being a stay at home mom, you know, it's like there's somebody that comes home from, say, work at the end of the day, exhausted, you know, dealing with work things and, you know, their mind is somewhere else. They come home. And it is the feeling of like, oh, now I have to work again, meaning, oh, I got to go into, you know, the zone of the kids and helping and, you know, whatever that might be. And it's, you know what I'm saying? So like, but as the mom who's been

home with kids or babies or, you know, managing all day too, there is relief when your partner comes home at the end of the day you almost want to be like ah you're home here take them and that person's coming in exhausted like wait i need a minute to myself like there's an unwinding time i mean the the thing is no matter what the situation is working staying at home that kind of stuff the general consensus should be respect and and acknowledgement of the other person because do you remember when you know sometimes I think this is a common theme too people are like battling of like well I've been doing this all day well I've been doing that all day and it becomes this like tit for tat and like well I'm doing this and I did that instead of appreciating the other person

putting yourself in their shoes and saying you know sometimes it's just like oh my god I know you've had a really long day like let me you know help with this for a little bit or remembering to stay as a team and kind of, I think everybody just always wants to be appreciated or acknowledged, whatever that may be. It might be something small, it might be something big, but if there's an appreciation for your partner and what they're doing or an ability to kind of shine a light and say, oh, yeah, you know, maybe they weren't working, quote, unquote, all day, but they were home with the kids all day, which is exhausting on another level, managing, feeding, washing, cleaning, tantrums, all that shit. Just to express those things because you have to be, well, no, you have to be vulnerable to sort of say, hey, I appreciate you. No, I know.

And I had to deal with all that, meaning like just lack of vulnerable. I was feeling too vulnerable to even express my gratitude. You know, it was hard to look at you and be like, you know what, you're doing an amazing thing. I appreciate everything that you do. Oh, my God. It was so hard to say that because it made, oh, I know, but it made when I used to. say that things have shifted but when i used to force myself to say that which side note forced yourself to say that even if it hurts and you feel like that fucking feeling you're like

oh god i'm being soft because that's the other thing from my male sort of perspective or my feeling of masculinity whatever that means nowadays but like there was this sort of saw i was like too soft. Mm-hmm. You know, I don't know why I felt like, you know, it was being not tough or something crazy where for me to tell you, you know what, you're an amazing. It's soft.

It's vulnerable. It's vulnerable, yeah, yeah, exactly. But force yourself to say it. Right. But I will say this. Okay, there's, I'm sure there's some people, you want the reaction to feel good, right? So when you say something like that to me and I say, oh my God, that means so much, babe, I love you, thank you.

Then it's great. You feel good. Every thing works. What you don't want is someone. to be like, yeah, that's right. Thanks for noticing. Or, you know what I mean? Like, you have to know your partner. Like, a lot of times there's these feelings of resentment and these feelings that build up in people and friends and relationships that I've seen and heard where it is this battle of like, I do this, he doesn't notice, I do all that. And then the other

person's like, well, I'm doing this. You know, it just starts to separate people and you become resentful and that shit builds up. The best thing you can do is be vulnerable and just lay it out on the table no matter how much it sucks it usually brings the other person's guard down and then there's a feeling of like oh my gosh thank you no thank you i love you no i love you i mean it can literally lead to that kind of stuff oh and and by the way watch how watch how that changes your sex oh yeah no for real you know what i mean it sounds crazy but once you open up or once you can get a little more vulnerable or if it's painful, but just fucking try it and be like, hey, you know what?

I've noticed that you've been doing this and I just want you to know that I've noticed that. Even though, you know, for me, you know, it's hard to be vulnerable sometimes and even say that, but that openness will lead to better sex. What? I thought you were going to say something dirty. But it's true.

because then there's a connection, appreciation. It's that little, you know, elephant in the room or whatever you want to say that breaks the ice, you know, and... Well, I mean, you know, last night you... Being appreciative. Yeah, but last night you went out with your friends. Yeah. Totally good. Now, I know you're going to come home late, which is another thing that you do, by the way, but we'll talk about later.

You're like, oh, I'm going to be a couple hours. I'm like, no, you're not. You know what I mean? And not last night. I was saying in general. I knew you were going to come home. Well, I also, it's like usually, if you were to ask any of us, we were like, let's start early because it's a school night.

We're going to do this. And then we get there and no one, yeah, of course. What I need to do is say to you is like, I'll be home at like two. Right. And then just come home at like midnight and then surprise you. Yeah, I love that. Okay, learned something new. We're going to try it.

Even last night, I had to sort of check myself because my mind was like, okay, you know, I know she's coming home late. And I didn't even think about when you were coming home. I would just put it out of my mind. But now I'm like, all right, well, is she drinking? And she's drinking, da, da, da, da, with her girls. It's a school day. We got to get up.

And I'm like, am I going to take all the fucking kids to school? You know, because they're at the same school, but they're in, like, different weird buildings. The drop-offs get staggered. It's, that's a whole other fucking podcast. But, you know, and I'm like, you know, she can, she better wake up. I mean, like, I can get to this all my own. and I'm like all over all shut the fuck up that's old self-talk I'm so glad you noticed that

no I'm like I'm like who gives a shit yeah just get up and you do it whatever because how about you know what it is this is what I said sort of check myself this is what I say to that because this is very very important in the beginning of a relationship when you're falling in love and you you know want your person to love you know you and you love them it's this feeling of like oh my god go have so much fun. Like instead of this feeling of like, you know, she's going to be extra tired and I might have to do all the kids, it should be like, oh my God, she hasn't seen her friends. She's been gone all summer. She's finally, you know, having a night with her girlfriends. How fun. I hope she has a great time. Like when you go out to fish or, you know, golf, I'm like, oh, I know he's having

the best time. Not fish. You think the boat's going to burn up and I'm going to drown and sink. Right. Well, that's my own shit. But for you and my mind, I'm like, I know you are literally, like, at your peak of happiness. That makes me happy, you know what I'm saying? Like, instead of resentful, it's a, you know what I'm, that feeling of, like, for your partner, you're all of a sudden mad at me and you're going into, you know, she's going to be way, you know, drunk or, like, hung over or coming in late, tired, and that's, like, not a nice way to think of it instead of, oh, my God, I hope she had fun.

And, like, I'm glad she's with her girlfriend. Oh, yeah. And she deserves that. Look, if everyone was this way, there'd be no divorce or there would be a lot less of it because that's true, open, vulnerable communication. So much easier said than fucking done. You know what I mean? But I'm glad you caught yourself last night. No, I did, but I'm just saying, like, it's hard. I just want to be clear about that.

It's hard to be vulnerable. For you. For you. We talked to our therapist or you talked to therapists and we're like, you just like, just communicate. Just tell her you appreciate it. her or you know tell her that da da da da da and yeah it's easier said than done it's not that easy to just i'm not i'm not getting upset i'm just i'm just i'm just saying that you know it's it's hard it's hard it's not an easy thing to do for men and women i think i think a lot more for men

you know but right you know it's hard for a guy to just straight up out of nowhere and at least for me just to be just going to say it very generally because there are guys that and you know no sure Of course there are. Of course there are. I'm speaking for myself and then just my small group. What? My dad. Your dad, exactly.

My small group of friends. But it's hard just unsolicited just to, you know, take your wife and look at her and be like, hey, you know what? I'm just thinking about it. You know, I just really appreciate you. And I just love all the things that you do for this family. And I recognize what you do around the house and how you are the, you know, the hands. and in the clock that makes it work. You're the, you're the one that ticks.

I don't know what I'd do without you. Not an easy thing to just say. Was that just like you were saying that to me? I was doing acting. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I mean that. Okay.

I'm like, are you? I mean that, but it's not. But it means so much. My point is it's not easy just to sit your partner down. Well, you don't have to sit them down. No, and just say those things. But think about it that took 30 seconds, little tiny thing for you to say means the world to the person receiving it.

And it can shift the entire day and relationship and all of that stuff. Sometimes it is that, it's not simple, but it, or simplistic, what's Ellie's saying. It's simple. It's not simplistic. Yeah. You're drowning in a cup. It's our therapist. We were in couples therapy for a minute, you know, we, man, saved our marriage, basically. He's like, you're drowning in a cup?

I'm like, okay, he said that to me so many, so over the, however many years, I've been drowning in a cup for years. He's never said that to me. Really? I've never heard that one. Oh, my God, I'm always drowning in a cup. Jesus, and I'm always picturing it when he says it. I picture like a white ceramic tiny teacup. And me in, they're like, ah, but like, you picture like a teacup?

Yeah, a teacup. Wow. Drowning in a cup, meaning I guess. Right. I was picturing like a dixie paper cup. Meaning just stand up and fucking get out of the cup. Oh, okay. I don't know.

I never really asked him. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Might have to text him. But sometimes those little things just mean the world and you don't even think it, you know, think much of it. but it does. Mm-hmm. I appreciate you. But words don't really matter for you.

They don't matter. It's funny. It's like I was just about to say that. Love language. I just have to show you in touches and kisses and hugs and scratches and. Yeah. I mean, if you're like, I think I appreciate you. It almost makes me.

During a hug? No. Is that like double whammy? If you said that to me, I mean, it's nice, but it's not, it doesn't get me. You know what I mean? Like, I almost deflected. in a strange way, like compliments are hard for me to take. That's another thing I've been working on

is sort of taking a compliment. Like, hey, I loved you in this show or you do a finish a scene. And like, dude, that was fucking great or whatever. I'm like, hey, thanks, thanks. Like, just don't say that. You know, so when I'm washing the dishes and you're like, babe, you're watching the dishes.

I'm like, oh, don't say that. Like, I'm like, eh. But then what do I do? When do I say it? Because I want to show you the appreciation Acknowledge that you're doing it. And. A little reach around.

Okay. Silent reach around. Silent reach around. That translates to thank you and I appreciate you. Yeah. Okay. From now on. We got to go, babe.

It's a morning pod. The morning pod. That was good, right? Yep. You know? Because when we were starting this thing. A little all over the place, but it was good. I know, but I like that.

You know, Aaron's a fucking planner, and I am not. I mean, I hate plans. But I will say, when you take out your calendar, I like despise plans. When you take out your calendar, sometimes tonight we'll get into bed and he'll open up his calendar as a joke. And he'll look at me and he'll be like, babe, do you want to plan? And it is on. Yeah, it's on. Because I know he's joking now.

No, but sometimes when I do plan, you're like, are you planning? I'm like, babe, please, not now. Like, I really do want to figure this out. Sometimes, but then. Yeah, because you get like, are you planning? I'm like, ah, it's one of those things. I know. I love it.

But you don't like the plan. And I love planning. You like to plan. I do not like to plan. So when we started this morning, dropped the kids off at school. We got to, because we got to do it early. We got to get it in. Yeah, it's getting her coffee.

And I'm like, babe, we got to fucking go. Because Alice and our producer's waiting. And she's eating her little, like, peanut butter bar. Not into the microphone. I know. I'm just making the sound effect. I'm like, babe. She's just, well, what are we going to talk about?

We have no plan. I'm like, who cares? Let's just fucking go. And I think it turns out good. It does turn out good, but we do have to meet in the middle sometimes. You have to like just, you know, we don't have to have like a scheduled like, you know, bullet point. Well, we're doing this, you know, we're filling in. My sister's been working her butt off doing cool shit.

And we're filling in, even though it's not sibling revel. and we're not talking about siblings. This has been fun for you and I. The response has been really cool, honestly. We've gotten some amazing emails, one in particular that brought me to tears. I know. And maybe we do this for real.

Like, do our own thing at some point. Yeah, it would be so fun. I'm just like, are people going to get forward with, like, the ins and outs of our relationship after a while? Well, again, we have to plan. See? Ooh, okay, we have to plan. We need to get a petition going.

And if we could get 100,000 signatures. E signatures. Yeah, and then what people would want to hear more of too. But we already have stuff. We haven't even gone into kids, parenting. There's so much. Look, there's a million marriage podcasts out there. There's no doubt about it.

But no one like us, babe. No one like us. All right, until next time. Okay. I love you. Love you. Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Allison Bresnick.

Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review. This show is powered by Simplecast. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judi. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest.

There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. It may look different, but Native Culture is alive.

My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other native stories on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get. your podcasts. The internet is something we make,

not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech and culture podcast there are no girls on the internet. In our new season,

I'm talking to people like Anil Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet. I love tech. You know,

I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people as the core building

blocks of the internet. Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.