Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Erinn and Ollie: The In-Laws Episode

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

Erinn and Ollie are back for another episode and this week, they get candid about in-laws. They share their experiences meeting each other's parents, what happened when their parents met each other, discuss the similarities and differences in how they were raised, and more.Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by:Grove Collaborative (www.grove.com/sibling)Policygenius (www.policygenius.com)Public.com (Use promo code SIBLING)Sakara (www.sakara.com/sibling)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model.

I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show. I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues, by talking to the models, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, what did you help her? Listen to the curse of America's Next Top.

model on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast hi i'm jonica lopez and in the new season of the over comfort podcast i'm even more honest more vulnerable and more real than ever am i ready to enter this new part of my life like am i ready to be in a relationship am i ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time join me for conversations about healing and growth all from one of my favorite spaces the kitchen listen to the new season of the Overcomber podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson.

And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling revelry.

That's good. Should we refill the rosé? So that we don't have to get up during the conversation. No? We can refill the rosé. Okay. The rosé is refilled. And we're back.

Aaron Bartlett and Oliver Hudson back at it again. We had a brief intermission with a voicemail listener appreciation episode. And now we're back at it. After two weeks. After two weeks. In, we were at an undisclosed location. Yeah. in Cape Cod of perfection.

Yeah, it was great. Such an amazing spot. And now we are here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Because I'm doing a job just starting it. And Aaron's here for moral support because I'd probably lose my mind if she wasn't. we came out our first two you know shows i guess it was pretty deep we came out with a we came out hot you know so it's like how do you follow that but today we wanted to sort of talk about

the in-law experience i was just in mass so i was just on the cape with her in-laws Brooks and Anne and of course you know the first time Aaron the first time you met the first time you met my parents

was before we were dating yeah right but then we were sort of hooking up and I had like a morning after we had a morning after moment like walk of shame yeah she had a total walk of shame

where she was because I was living at home 24 and still living at home was 23 or 24 no you're 20 yeah no you just turned 24 yeah was that the night with Robin no

and John yeah I think it was the next day yeah we had a crazy night and Aaron gave it up you know first time we hooked up, boom, right out the gate. Do you want to preface it with anything about like a year and a half of friendship? Phone calls, flirting.

No, right out the gate. First time we finally, first time we hooked up, boom. Bang. Boom, bang. Bada bang, bada boom. Remember I was like, it was like 6 a.m. And I was like, I'm going to go and you like grab me. You're like, no, you're not.

It's like, yes, I am. no, you're not. You, like, sat me up on the sink. The sink in my bathroom. And then the rest is history. Bang. Anyway, should have to do a little bit of a walk of shame because she came down the stairs and who was there?

Your mom. My mom was there and said, hi, honey. And I was like, this is not how I planned on this going. Well, staying on the theme of, staying on the theme of sort of in-laws, you know. Well, we also, I thought, remember we were talking about it, And our first podcast together kind of unfolded, not planned a little naturally. And it was scary, but it was very well received. Then we did a little follow-up episode.

And then I just thought, like, what else would people want to hear about? And, like, what would be interesting? Because obviously, you know, we could talk about us or whatever. There's things. Well, I mean, we just have to stay relevant to sort of, not relevant, but just, you know, we just got off the cape. I was just with your parents. Totally. You know what I mean?

Totally. And your parents came to the cave. That's right. My parents came to the cape for the first time. And so that's where we came up with this idea because we were like. Yeah. And not only that, but people want, people are curious, honestly. Not, I'm not talking about listeners, but just in general of like what it's like to come into our family, you know, which is a crazy fucking family of celebrity and insanity.

I've spent like 20 years trying to kind of describe it and answer that question and what's it like, Goldie Hans your mother-in-law and, you know. all of these questions, and I thought it would be kind of an interesting, fun episode to divulge a lot of family secrets. Well, I mean, honestly, in-laws can break up marriages. Oh, I mean, make or break marriages. They can make or break marriages. I would say, honestly, it's the hardest thing for couples to deal with because people can evolve, people can change. I know a lot of people don't think that, but they can. And you can grow as a couple, you can grow individually.

But one thing that will never change and never go away is your in-laws. And so if you think, if that is a red flag in the beginning of your relationship, it will always be there run. Because, I mean, honestly, it's something that. We have friends. We have friends who, not breaking up, but who have to deal with that shit. Yeah, it's been, and it's major. And what happens is it trickles down.

Unfortunately, it trickles down into. your relationship, even if you don't want it to. Because I think what happens is, you know, you and your partner have a separate relationship, but the minute in-laws get involved, I think the natural instinct is if your partner is criticizing your in-laws, you may agree with your partner. You mean your partner is criticizing your parents. Your parents. Sorry.

So let's just say, for example, Oliver has a problem with my parents. And I might even agree with him, but there's something that I have seen and witness that goes down, which is you almost want to, like, protect your family because it's your family and it's your loyalty. So then it gets a little sticky. And then, you know, you're trying to please all these different people and different dynamics and layers. And it's very complicated. And I always feel like that's a really tough one because you can go to therapy with your partner. You can ebb and flow with your partner. but like in-laws are there to stay.

They should have in-law therapy. In-law therapy would be amazing because half the time I guarantee therapists are like, oh my God, like a huge part of my, you know, clientele is dealing with in-laws. So anyways, we thought it would be an interesting topic. In order to get through that, I mean, sometimes you might just have to say, look, it's just not on the table.

Like we're doing our relationship, but I can't. But what happens is you're dealing with. But you have no fucking choice. You have no choice. But then you're dealing with generation, you know, generationally like how traditions and things and people. And now here's the thing. Also, also like traditions are great, great point, you know, like Christmas. Holidays. Holidays. Where are you going and whose place and whose house? I've sort of like my family's usurped all the holidays. But the thing is it's different. So getting. into our situation just a little bit. We don't, we're so lucky. No, no, no. We hit the fucking jackpot. I mean, we are extremely lucky. I think have this conversation and talk about it because, A, we're not, you know, unaware

of how difficult it is and how lucky we are. But I think there's a level of interest because, you know, you get married and you think, okay, raising kids is going to be your biggest challenge. And it is. It usually, that's the biggest thing that people face, kind of how are we raising them, making choices, all that kind of shit. But there's always that background of in-laws because there is, you know, just... Well, that's our next episode is raising kids.

Yeah, totally. Because it all factors in because your parents inform how you want to raise your kids or not raise, or not raise, and my parents inform how I want to raise our kids. And we have to come together with our different backgrounds. backgrounds and our different ideas. Yep. And somehow meshed them. So differently.

Oh, my God. Yeah. But the core of family values, meaning family kind of came, you know, it was very important theme and having fun and being together. And like at the, you know, root of it, there were definitely similarities. There was happiness, you know, there was, you know, joy and certain things. But like, Long Meadow. Oh, well, God.

I mean. But not, I mean, I came from a divorce family. My parents are high school sweethearts. Let's just start by the same. Let's start by this. Let's start with Ann & Brooks. Yeah. My parents grew up in a small town south of Boston, knew each other their whole life, began dating in high school, stayed together, got married very young, had me at 25, my brother at 27, and they are still together.

And, you know, one of the greatest couples that I know. I mean, they are opposites that attract. So, like, you know, they definitely have their differences, but it works. And they've created such an incredible partnership. And I think... Well, your dad is a saint. No, I mean, yeah, of course. I mean, he's the most beautiful human being ever.

And your mom, there's probably no one, no one more I would want to hang out with than your mom. You know, we used to smoke together. We both don't smoke cigarettes anymore, but we used, I mean, she was like my girl. Like we would go out on the porch, have our cocktails and just smoke a thousand cigarettes and just talk shit. She is piss and vinegar. Anne is straight up, tell you how it is, no bullshit. And it's just, my parents are in love with your parents, by the way, on a side note, like their best friends. That's another thing that we got lucky.

I mean, that normally doesn't happen. But yes, they were high school sweethearts. I mean, you know, your mom hasn't seen another penis. besides the one penis yeah that's it and like my brothers that she was changing i'm sure there's been some others flashed along the way but she hasn't you know i mean your dad it's high school it was the early 60s i mean it was a different time i always say that to brooks because brooks and i have like you know very open anyway we we have what yeah but okay this is okay i will she's giving me a look like you don't want me to no but i was going to say the

the story was in high school my mom would tell this story too that basically you know dating my dad. He was a great older and very charming and kind of Mr. Popular, whatever you want to say, and he would drop my mom off because she had a curfew and then head out afterwards to the DQ, to the Dairy Queen.

And like, you know, still flirt and do his thing and whatnot. My mom, I remember telling me some crazy stories. She was in the bathroom at high school and she was in a stall and she heard two girls come in talking at the sink, something like, blah, blah, blah. And I was with Brooks Barlet at the

DQ last night and this and that and she came out of the door washing your hands and she looked at them and said hope you had fun last night but I'm going to marry him and like walked out the door and like I always thought like that's incredibly you know bold and confident and amazing and she did and it was like have fun do your thing but like he's mine kind of a vibe yeah and you know still to this day he is so in love and always catering and an affectionate and you know they you know feels like he hit the you know jackpot so yeah and getting into our situation though with the in-laws so we started dating and we were dating I don't know three or four months I think because it was February yeah yeah no no but then

then you said to me like I want you to come back and meet my parents and I didn't want to go right we talked about this last time to the Cape to the Cape because you had just taking your previous boyfriend there the year before. All of them. You were just one of men. Yeah, I didn't want to be that guy the next year to come in. So I said, I'm not going. Not doing it.

So I took someone else and we had a great summer. Don't tell. No, but then you did come to Florida. Then I came to Florida. Then I was like, all right, we're all in. We're in love. It's time to meet your parents. And they were living in Tampa at the time.

And we show up. And it was immediate. connection. Yeah. I mean, I mean, my dad had known about you for a long time. I mean, you know, my parents knew kind of the whole meeting and us and our friendship and our flirtations and this and that, and we were together. And so there was, you know. Yeah, I mean, we have a famous picture. The first night that I met your parents, your dad got a limo and we were drinking. We went to burn steakhouse. It was a burn steak house. We just got hammered. Like 19 bottles of Yeah, and the first picture we ever took Brooks, her dad, Brooks and I took, I had a cigarette

in one side of the mouth and a joint in the other side of my mouth that he provided. I know. By the way. I know. I also have another picture. That was my first picture with Brooks. That same night of you guys in the bathroom at like the men's like stalls or whatever they're called, the urinals.

And I said, hey, and you both turned around over your shoulder. I mean, it's like a classic picture and there you guys are. I mean. That's when I was wearing that weird purple shirt. I love that weird purple shirt. I know. I loved it. You had like a rose-colored one too.

I had that from my guide to becoming a rock star. That's my wardrobe. But anyways, getting back to, you know, kind of the differences of our upbringing and our in-laws, meaning I had high school sweetheart, still married, small town, you know, growing up. And then you have, of course, two, you know, icon status, movie stars, both divorced. You know what I mean? Like, you're a child of divorce. Like, all of those things, you know, we couldn't be more different when it comes to that.

And then, you know, you throw in just kind of their backgrounds and, you know, your dad. And then, you know, Kurt has season and his ex. And, you know, there was just a lot of baggage. But ultimately, I say this all the time. I'm like, Kurt is originally from Maine. and born in Springfield, Massachusetts, which is even crazier because that's basically the tiny town next door to where I grew up. And then your mom is from Maryland.

So there are these East Coast roots that I think our parents kind of connect on in a way. There's a familiarity. And I think for your parents, what I'll say is, yes, they're these huge icons and movie stars, but they didn't, you know, like kind of come from that, I guess. And so there's a comfort or a familiarity when they are with my parents. There's a feeling of, oh, my gosh, we can be normal and we're, you know, there's, I don't know how to explain it, but I think there's just a comfort in that normalcy or familiarity, right? Well, they also just love how real.

Yeah, and my parents are, you know, my parents are, you know, my parents are new. Englanders. They're classic kind of, you know, just easy to be around, like, happy to have a good time and have a cocktail and, you know, have good conversation. And, you know, so they're definitely easy to be around. But imagine, you know, me calling and saying, like, so, you know. Well, how did that work? So, you know, it's different. We have a bigger family. We have Thanksgivings and Christmases that are sort of these big to-dos. You have a smaller family. Yeah, very small family. But you were able to, you know, give up your Christmases and your Thanksgiving. Well, because here's the thing. Okay. At that point, I was whatever, 27 or something like that, 28.

You know, my brother was, you know, in his mid-20s. So Christmas looked like me just coming home and the four of us would just hang out. And we were just happy to like have dinner, you know, maybe go out. For, like, you know, Chinese food and, like, order pizzas in, laugh, watch movies. We cooked on, like, Christmas Day, you know, would make a big turkey and trade a couple presents. But, you know, we were down in Florida at the time. So it's not even like I was in Massachusetts where if I was, I might have been getting together with Jill and Deb and Len and Craig and everybody. But we weren't. And I was in California, so I was coming home.

So it was more about just the four of us being together. It didn't really matter. so then it was you know you and your family were going to colorado and it was kind of a really big traditional to do baby cousins you know aunts uncles very festive uh and then i remember you saying like would you ever you know want to stay and come and do christmas with us and for me it wasn't about like christmas day and like missing that with my family it was more just my time to be with them. So then what I did was the first couple years, I did Christmas with my family, and then I flew to do New Year's with you. Yeah. And Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving? I can't

remember. I went back a couple years, but then I started, yeah, once we were later on. But my parents were like, it was less about the tradition of Christmas. It was more just like, that's a time for us to hang out. Yeah. So as long as I had that time with them, that worked out. We got lucky. So it wasn't really like choosing. Yeah. We got so lucky because there's so many couples who are like have to sacrifice their tradition. Like a Thanksgiving with one and a Christmas with another. Yeah. I mean, now it'd make me crazy. I know. It's hard. But I guess that's just part of the part of the ballgame. But we also lived cross country. You know, some couples are not. I mean, you could be across town and do like the morning with one family, the evening with another. It's just part of the deal when you're

blending families, but we got very lucky, you know, in that area. But I do remember that first year being like, so I think I'm going to stay. And they were like, great, we get it. You're skiing. You're in Colorado. It's gorgeous. Like, be with your guy. And then, you know, they came out to visit me. And, you know, it worked. We got lucky with the flexibility. Sakara. Oh, Sakara. Sikara is one of our favorites. Organic ready-to-eat-eat meals designed to boost your energy, improve your digestion.

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See public.com slash disclosures, not investment advice. I do remember, like, my mom, you know, the first time that they were going to meet your parents. Oh, yeah. Because no matter how many times I tell. What was, what about that, like? Well, here's the thing. You know, whether it be like my best friends from home or my parents, it is hard to explain that, like, Goldie and Kurt are. like Oliver's parents, right?

And I learned that really fast, too, because I remember standing in the kitchen that morning with, like, mascara, you know, like under my eyes trying to, like, clean myself up. And I'm talking to Golden, I'm thinking, holy shit, I'm in the kitchen with, like, Goldie Hawn. Like, oh, my God, is she going to make, like, some chicken pepperoni right now?

Like, from Christa Gertie. Seems like old times. And, but yet there she was. And I was like, oh, my gosh. hold on like to me she's goldie han but right now she's allie's mom who's in the kitchen you know making like probably biscuits and gravy or something you know cute and fun and so there is this feeling that immediately you can switch into that gear it happens faster than you think um and then the next couple times you know it got easier and then you kind of start to realize

like, oh yeah, like, of course she's Goldie Haan, but like she's also your mom. Yeah. And so. I mean, that transition probably happens fairly quickly when you're hanging out, when you're with. Well, I think it happened fairly quickly for me only because I knew so much about her from you. And I, you know, she, there, there is a feeling of both of them when you meet them. And this is what my parents said too. There's no air.

There's no, oh my gosh, you're meeting a celebrity. they are so much like oh my gosh we're meeting Aaron's parents or oh my god this is all these new girl he's been talking about like they don't think

their movie stars or icons for that matter I mean literally like your mom forgets like we're out talking in public and she's you know talking all this stuff I'm like do you want to maybe like

just keep it down a little like the people next to us are listening and she's like oh ha ha I forgot honey thanks I mean literally it's like they don't you know, notice or think about it. So that's a very unique quality, I think, for them that's so, you know, beautiful to see.

But I think when they met my parents, there was an excitement on their end that they're meeting Aaron's parents. Like, for them, they were as excited or as curious. Well, it's also to see, you know, where you came from. Oh, totally. You know? Yeah. And. I mean, that's the thing is, you're with my fan.

Right. So much. Yeah. You know. Well, we live in the same town. We live a couple streets away. So there is that advantage. But she removed the cape. Yes, we should. To be with your parents for the second half of our relationship. Babe, don't tempt me. But I will say, like, you know, one of the first times I was having dinner with your parents, your mom, you know, was so sweet. And she was going to cook. For us. Oh, is this a scallop thing? Yes. And so she was cooking and she was going to make scallops. And, you know, she said it to Ollie and Ollie was like, yeah, it sounds great. And of course he knows that, I mean, I like scallops now, but at the time he knew I didn't like love, love seafood or scallops. Oh, you like, you didn't like anything. Nothing. I mean, you had no palate. I mean, you had cheeseburgers, pizza, French fries. Like, you try, you didn't like anything.

Yeah. Yeah. So then, of course, he says to me, oh, my mom is making scallops. And I'm like, oh, okay. Like, he knows I don't like it. And he's like, should I tell my mom? And I was like, no, what? Tell her that I don't want scallops.

And he's like, yeah. And I said, don't. I'll, like, kill you. I was like, I'll pretend. I'll have a few bites. Like, you can eat mine. Like, just, you know, like any normal good partner would do, you would help and cover for me.

And of course, we sit down. It's outside. She's cooked this beautiful dinner and, you know, done all of her stuff, kind of thinking, oh, this is, like, our first sit down with Aaron. Like, we're going to get to talk and meet. I mean, we had met a few times, but it was the real first, like, do you want to come to dinner with my parents? So we sit down and Ollie throws his fork and knife down, like a sound, you know, on the table. And he's like, Mom. And he was like, after she served everybody, we have it on the plate.

And he's like, I told you, Aaron doesn't like scallops. she doesn't eat seafood and he makes this you know big scene in gold he's like oh my gosh what honey you didn't tell me that oh my gosh I'm so sorry and I'm literally like mortified I'm turning bright right I'm like babe that's not true and he's like yes it is why are you lying like tell her you don't like scallis I mean literally through me under the bus like right away but it set the tone for the rest of our relationship because I was like note to self don't ever tell all you're true But it was an icebreaker and it was really funny and she was so sweet and, you know, of course, I was like, I'm going to eat the scalps and she's like, it's okay. And, like, you know, Kurt's like, yeah, just be honest.

And if you don't like scallops, that's okay. Like, why are you hiding it? And I'm thinking, here's a clash of like the most open, you know, honest, say it like it is family. And then I come from kind of like, New England, polite, like people pleasing, you know, background where I was like I would never want to like rock the boat. But needless to say, ate some of the scalps and they were really good. And then I think we went out for pizza. Yeah, exactly. No, I know.

But. And then our parents met and I think they stayed at my parents' house. No, I mean. No, not the first time they met. They didn't. Not the first time they met. They started doing that like. Now they're like, they call each with their roomies.

I know. I know. They're cute. Yeah. I mean, look, my parents. I think for them, obviously, as anyone can understand, they're, like, coming in to meet, you know, Gouldinghan and Kurt Russell. Like, it's a big deal. But knowing you, I think they just felt at ease thinking, like, all right, you know, he's so great.

Like, they've got to be pretty great. And then, you know, they just really hit it off. I mean, my mom and your mom couldn't be more opposites, yet they just find the best in each other. They find the things that work. And that's what I love. I know. You know, it's like... I know.

I know. My parents came to the Cape this year. And they stayed with your parents in their little condo. Yeah. And of course, you know, my parents like on this beautiful house at the Cape and they downsized a couple years ago. My mom's like... My parents loved it.

My mom was like, oh, my God, they're coming to like our little condo, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, they were like, it was the greatest three days. We want to come back. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was so great. It was so cute. You know, it was so great. Yeah.

You know, our upbringings, you know, we're so vastly different. And then we get together and then we have children. And you take, you know, certain things from your childhood that you want to emulate. You know, you had this idyllic childhood in this small town of Long Meadow where it was almost like a movie, you know, it wasn't real. and I was in L.A., you know, it's 16, like, going to clubs. I'm going to, like, friendlies on a half day. Yeah. Kenney O'Connor's basement with, like, you know.

No, I know. And then we have our kids. And, you know, you want to instill some of those sort of small town values into kids who are living in L.A. Well, here's the thing. It's like one of those things where I think when I moved to L.A., Jody did the drive with me, you know, it's like, I think I thought I would be there very temporarily. Not only did I not think I was going to, you know, marry someone, you know, from there,

but I definitely didn't plan on raising my kids there just because it was so, it is so different. But I think, you know, a great thing is you have now seen a little bit of, you know, my upbringing, right? whether it be through my parents and my brother and now my friends, you know, in the experience, you've always valued it and valued and trusted me in, you know, whatever the experiences were, whether it be from my parents or, you know, location in small town. But I've also looked at, you know, the job your parents have done and the things that you've been through to kind of say, okay, there are a few things that were kind of great that came out of this experience. Yeah, but you're also supposed to, you know, the idea is like you marry your father.

You know what I mean? Like, do you think you married your dad? Can we cut? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I do. I mean, there are things in a weird way. Of course.

Like, you know, it's different. But yes, if I had to say, like, the charming kind of, you know, life of the party, you walk in the room like there is something magnetic about you and my dad yeah but not to get back to our previous episode that we did you know yeah but you know i was sort of this prince charming in a sense like your dad who puts you on a pedestal i mean yeah you know he calls her pal and and and brooks does to erin and and he still kisses her and loves her and cries and you know it's this this father-daughter bond that is so amazing and and um you know I think you chose me and had this idea that I was going to be like that in a sense and then of

course totally burst that bubble you know it's being repaired yeah but no but here's the thing also that's that's real life you know because everybody is going to going to look at their father in a certain way. Well, it's your first love, you know, your dad. Of course. And it does set the standard. And then I think what's the irony is, you know, I had this kind of perfect marriage, you know, to look up to them. My parents never thought, I mean, the one time the Brooks and I talk about, which is so funny from my childhood, where I remember them, they had a party at the house.

My brother and I were upstairs, long story short, we heard them kind of arguing. It wasn't even bad. was enough for us to sit at the top of the stairs and say, my gosh, like, what's going on? Like, we've never really heard this. And they were arguing and going back and forth. And then they come around the corner and we're at the top of the stairs sitting there. And they're like, oh, hey, what are you guys still doing up? You know, we thought you were asleep.

And we were both, like, in tears and we're like, are you guys getting a divorce? And they start laughing. And they're like, wait, what? Like, no, why? But that to me was like my parents were always kind of. happy and in love and you know whatever and just to hear them kind of have an argument it's it's funny translated it to divorce right and and and that is that was your picture of what a relationship should be like you know it's interesting when talking about parents or in-laws or how whatever the

fuck this episode is about it doesn't really matter but you know that is your picture of what you know a healthy relationship is because it was This is beautiful and healthy. And then you go to me, you know, and you look at my situation where, you know, my parents were divorced and I have a stepdad and, you know, yada, yeah. And this is sort of my picture of what it is to sort of be in a relationship. Oh, absolutely. And I look at it like, why are you scared to get married? Like marriage is amazing and beautiful.

And you were like, I don't want to get married. I don't know if we talked about it in the last, you know, previous episodes. But, you know, I didn't think that we were going to get married. You know, because I didn't know if I wanted to get married. I saw a divorce, and then I saw Curt and mom, and it was, it was great. They were happy, you know? And so I was like, oh, well, that's the way you do it. You just don't get married, I guess.

Exactly. And I remember challenging you and saying, okay, but like, you know, blah, blah, blah. We would go back and forth and kind of argue it. And I think at the end of the day, we broke it down because you would be like, why do you want to get married? Like, what is it? And I said, I remember just being like, honestly, A, I want the party. Yeah, well, you also wanted your dad.

I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. Like, there's just that kind of tradition and romantic, you know, idea. East Coast, West Coast. That's the title. That could be the title of the fuck. East Coast west coast. But, you know, I think at the end of the day, I know my parents did, you know, my dad was Protestant. My mom was Catholic.

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go to grove.com slash sibling. You will get to choose a free starter set with your first order. So go to grove.com slash sibling to get your exclusive offer. That's grove.com slash sibling. Oh, yeah, I was just saying my parents faced a lot of challenges and I think they grew up with, you know, this feeling of it's hard enough to find somebody to that you get along with, that you fall in love with, you know, whoever it is. like who background you know race sex anything they didn't care they were just like we just

want you guys to be happy um my we were like just dating i mean how long were we dating when i had to go not had to but i went i went i went back east with you because your grandfather died a year a little over a year little over a year was not long that was trippy yeah well because it was So it was an open casket. And, I mean, I never, I mean, it was nuts. I show up and everyone, I was like, oh, my God. And you're meeting everybody in the family for the first time for the first time. For the first time.

I know. That was, like, traumatic. That was crazy. I met your family for the first time. I know. And standing over your grandfather. You know, my parents. I hugged him in his casket, remember?

I don't know. I think we got a little off track. Anyways, here's the thing. What I'll say, like, with in-laws is at a certain point, like, you have to have a connection with your partner that says, hey, you know, these are the things that we're going to have to kind of deal with. These are the things that, you know, because you're making kind of your own new life. And I look at it now, having kids and having like my older, you know, my son getting older and this and that. And you think, as the parent, your kids are yours. Like, you fucking created them, you made them, you own them, they're yours.

And then you're letting them go into this whole new world of somebody else's family and traditions. And, you know, you know, so both grandparents, it's like, you feel like they're yours and now you have to share them. Like, imagine when Wilder or any of our kids have a wife or a husband and they're like, you know, Sorry, dad. Going back to New York. Yeah, we're going to New York for, you know, whoever's Christmas. I'd be like, fuck, no, you're not. See, this is what I mean.

Sorry, you're not going. Well, I mean, and then that's when I come in and say, I talk you off, calm you down. And I say, you know, it's just, but that's what I'm saying. And now, there's so much more nowadays, I feel like, you know, different blended families and things. And there's a little, it's a little looser, but, you know, back in the day, I mean, you know, you're dealing with traditions. and families and different backgrounds and, you know, coasts and places, south, north. I mean, so many factors. I'm sure people.

I'm just saying like, are you from the Midwest? Are you from the South? The East Coast, West Coast. What did I say? What did I say? You're like, South, North. I meant like from the South. But it's funny because usually you go North, people go North South, you went South North.

I like to go South North. You do? Yeah. On me? So you start south and then move north? And then move north. Yeah. So you start at my.

And then move up. Yep. We're getting off topic again. This is what happens. I don't know. Anyways, I will say because. But your parents are funny speaking about sex, though, because it was, you know, like, sexual reference. Like, your mom and dad are always talking about.

about sex. Mom's always like, ah, you know. Brooks, like your dad, like, you know,

wants to jump on top of me and that, da, da, da, da, da. Brooks is always like, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they're still. Still going at it. We're still going at it.

I will say, thinking about in-laws, and it can be a sensitive, like, sore subject for some people. We obviously got so fucking lucky. I mean, I've been living with your family,

you know, a few streets away for 20 years. I mean, holidays, trips, traveling, like um but i will say like just you know there is this feeling of warmth family um you know they both always kind of want the family to be together um you know there is even though it's a it's a small family there's a feeling of just generosity that is so

big, right? It's kind of always, you know, whether it's Sunday family dinners, you know, movie nights or big, you know, get-togethers. Like they have both, they both had that, I would say from their family. It's family, obviously, it was amazing and living California and big and gregarious and all of that. Yeah, I mean, we have a bigger family than you, you know. I mean, but it was great. I mean, we were back east seeing your family and we saw your aunts, you know, but it's smaller, you know. It's so small. It's like, It's just, you know, so your brother. My cousins and the little cousins.

And, you know, but yeah, I mean, it is, it's definitely smaller. But when we used to all, when I used to live there and growing up, we always did, you know, big Thanksgiving. Sadante Jill's and it was a big gathering. So there was a very similar feeling to. Do you miss that? Totally. Do you wish that they still had? They still do.

I'm just not there. They still do it. Either Jill's or my parents. With buddy and did it with your aunt. Yeah, and Lenny Craig and the cousins and everybody come. It was, I mean, back. And so do you, but you've never asked to go back or? Okay, so personally, flying on Thanksgiving, nightmare.

Don't want to do it. And then I'm flying back to, like, shitty, like, weather and Thanksgiving. And I'd rather spend the time with my family in the summer or at another time than actually, like, Thanksgiving dinner, you know, having turkey. But the tradition when we were growing up was at Jilline. Deb's old house that you don't, didn't know, but, and it was so fun. And people would stop by and come in late night. And I've been drinking all day, football games, board games, fun. You know, it got wild and crazy. And it's a part of my childhood. I remember being young and watching the adult's all party. Then I remember being like a teenager. Then I remember coming home at college.

Like, you know, it was a big tradition. It was bigger than Christmas for my family. And, you know, so you kind of, you know, you want to continue the traditional. traditions, but at the end of the day, it's about travel, too. I don't, I always think traveling on the holidays is such a pain in the ass. I would rather have quality time not on a holiday and not travel, but that's me. And I think my parents feel the same way. They flew out. When your parents are so easy going, you know.

Are people bored yet, you think? Maybe. Should I talk about your mom and dad? keep the fewer listeners engaged. One thing I'll, I will say about coming into the family. I mean, I know we talked about me meeting Kate, you know, for the first time. And, you know, Boston was definitely like, who's this new person because he loved Vanessa, you know, why it was 13 and a teenager.

Yeah, Wyatt was Wilder's age. At St. Matthews. It's so crazy. But I would say that they were so, you know, warm and welcoming and always themselves. Like, you know, Kurt, he's, you know, so wants to have a great connection and conversations and a good time. And, you know, there's just a joy, you know, to them. And I think they saw, you know, you and I. as, you know, kind of like, not that I was, like, good for you,

but I think that there was a feeling of like, oh, I hope this, you know, works. Oh, yeah. I think you were good for me. Now, I remember. Remember Kurt? Yeah, he was like, he's like, that's the girl you should be with. That's the girl you need to marry. Before we were even together. Yeah, that's the girl you should be with.

There's something like that. Yeah, that's a girl you should be with. You know, and I think that's kind of like the East Coast, you know, I don't know, whatever it is. Well, we're going to be in-laws at some point. I know. It's crazy. You know?

Hopefully to... Grace Long. Just kidding. Oh, my God. Wilder was going to kill me. I wonder if we're going to be good in-laws. I mean, probably. I would think.

Well, if it's Nicole and Eric, we're going to be all set. I'm just kidding. Please. Can you just go with my dream fantasy for a minute? I know. It's too good. I mean, you were home. And you get such a taste of kind of like my upbringing and just the different world.

You know, I mean, I've lived in yours. I know all your friends and, you know, childhood friends and, you know, dynamics and things. And, you know, you've slowly now been experiencing a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you haven't been home to actual, like, Long Meadow. No. Like, you know, the rough streets, but.

Yeah. And I still think that you're only with me because of who my parents are. Well, I mean, I think this is a good time and place to kind of let the cat out of the bag that that was my goal. It's been an insecurity of mine for a long time. All right, good. Well, I'm glad we're getting it out. Okay. How do we wrap it up? I would say when you're in a relationship, obviously we're sitting here, you know, talking about how lucky we got. and we hit the in-law jackpot, which, you know, we did.

Even though it's a crazy world to be thrown into, you know, with yours just in the public eye and, you know, dealing with so many different levels and layers behind closed doors, it's the most normal, you know, family that just wants to be together and laugh and have a good time. And that was the connection for me where I was like, God, even though this is some crazy you know, celebrity, you know, family inside closed doors, there was such a familiarity for me. I felt like being home. I've never once, I miss my family like on a daily basis. And being a cross-country has always been kind of a, you know, a sad thing for me just because I was extremely close with my family and my brother and, you know, just everything, my extended family.

but at least that sense of feeling comfort in family, meaning when I go to my in-law's house, I feel like it's my own. I feel there's warmth, there's joy, there's comfort, there's laughter, there's all the things that you kind of crave. That you miss. That you miss, you know? And I never have felt like uncomfortable or being there

doesn't make me miss my family. Like I think a lot of times people are like, I wish I wasn't here. I was with my family. I miss my family every day. I wish I was with them, of course, but there was a comfort there that I think helped me, you know, in the long run. And I think, you know, just dealing with and accepting when you're in a relationship and if it isn't as kind of picturesque as our situation has been or easy, it's finding your partner and finding something to kind of be on the same level or plane with, do you know what, something to connect on and kind of not make it a battle or a competition, you know, because I look and I'm like, all right, we're building

this family together. I think my parents love the tradition that we come back home and they have a little bit of East Coast and they, you know, see that side of the country and their family. And so, you know, there's a lot of things to kind of deal with and people to please And it's just, you know, I look sometimes and I'm like, thank God we're not against each other. Like, what about me? And, you know, I think a lot of times in relationships, whether it be in-laws or anything, it's like you want to be heard, you want to be seen, you know. And that's just an important thing to figure out, like before you get married. Yeah, but you should not be with someone because of the in-laws.

But you got to go in knowing like, hey, like we got to figure this out because. Because, you know. Yeah. I mean, even traditionally, we talked about it before where I didn't even ask your dad if I could marry you. I know. You know, to get his blessing. I didn't even think about it. It wasn't even in my...

It's just an interesting thing to look because I knew when I met you or we started dating this and that. Like, obviously I was attracted to you. I was thinking about us and dating and, you know, but when I really started falling, falling for you and just thinking, whoa um i remember going to who you would be possibly as a father just your childhood your family values like all of those kind of things um and knowing how much you kind of connected with my parents and you know it just there was something in there that oh yeah well that's a big test you know meeting the in-laws is a big test i mean that's a big moment yeah where it's like all right here we go you know it's time to meet the parents but also like think about it you know so

when i was going oh there's so much well that's why when i was going to tampa to meet your family for the first time i didn't want to go right after your last boyfriend was there you know and i was like give me let me give it a beat this is a big moment you know because this is where that this is where the person that i love you know her parents are going to meet me and judge me of course that's natural totally and so see how that dynamic works and if it goes off great then oh my god yes right it's just one more step to a potential great future but if it doesn't go well right but my dad was it wasn't like drilling you and judging you he was like what's up buddy let's go have some beers and like we were drinking like immediately and your mom was drinking and we were smoking cigarettes i was like oh wow

and then but it was different yours was more true mine was more traditional Like going over to meet the parents, like, you were just around. I was around, okay? But your previous girlfriend was the most, like, naturally stunning, like, you know, kind of chic, beautiful girlfriend. And she was a Buddhist. And Goldie, you know, was into Buddhism. And so I just thought, here I am, like, a wannabe actress, you know, like, blonde and cute. And, like, showing up at, like, you know, like, after, like, my.

walk of shame and like there was this like natural beautiful Buddhist you know like Vanessa like she was part of the family band one night like when I met you know parents like come into the house and you guys are all like on bongos and like Tom Cruise and Kate are like on the microphone and there's like Vanessa and I was like oh okay so she's like part of the family band then there's like pictures of you guys in like Peru like in a big family album I mean I was like okay now they're meeting me like you know normally i'd be like any parents or in-laws like dream and then there i was like feeling so inadequate well i mean we talked a little bit before about how you know i there are certain things about me that are like your dad or similarities same thing

for me you know and mom you know there's a spirit about you you know sort of um a positivity you know, wanting to sort of help people and pick up the underdog and just the outlook on life and the sort of your nature is very similar. I mean, there's no doubt about it, you know. I think that's natural. It's normal that you sort of, unless your dad or your mother is just a total disaster and then you go against it, you know. And you marry the opposite of your mother or your father because you just can't stand them.

Totally. That's not the case. I know. You know? I think we should end there on the fact that, like, you think of anything like your mom. It's a perfect place to end because I'll take that. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting.

It's just fun to see it evolve. And now, I mean, here we are doing this podcast, looking back, because it's been 20 years, which still blows my mind, but it's a long time to look back and think and just how it's all evolved. But, yeah. I know. All right.

Thanks for humoring me. Who me or the listeners? Well, you, I guess. All right. You will hear from us again. And I'm sure. What do you want to hear? That's a good question.

and to ask. Yeah. Email, right, respond. Yeah, yeah, shoot an email to sibling submissions. Because it's fun. We're having fun while Kate's working. Yeah, Kate's busy, so we're sort of taking over just a little bit. I mean, Kate and I will be sporadically throwing some things in there. And, you know, Aaron and I, we're filling in.

So what do you want to hear? All right, we might need to video one of these at some point because it is funny. I know. All right. Well. All right. I love you. Love you.

Love our parents. Love our parents. We got lucky. I'll talk to you. I'll talk to you later. Yeah, call me later. Yeah, I'll see you later. I'll shoot you a text.

Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Allison Bresden. Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate the show. And leave us a review. The show is powered by Simplecast. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model.

I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show. I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues, by talking to the models, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls, and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, What do you help her? Listen to the curse of America's Next Top Model on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of the Over Comfort Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever.

Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces. The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money? No thank you. Instead, check out Brown Ambition. Each week, I, your host, Mandy Money, gives you real talk, real advice with a heavy dose of I feel uses. Like on Fridays when I take your questions for the BAQA. Whether you're trying to be,

invest for your future, navigate a toxic workplace. I got you. Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.