Finding Happiness and Living Your Purpose with Tim Tamashiro
00:00This is an I-Heart podcast.September is a great time to travel,especially because it's my birthday in September,especially internationally.Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe.Did we've one in France,we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago.Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.
00:21So if you're heading out this month,consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature.You can hire someone local to help manage everything.Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.I'm Jorge Ramos.And I'm Paola Ramos.Together we're launching The Moment,a new podcast about what it means to live through a time,
00:40as uncertain as this one.We sit down with politicians, artists, and activiststo bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective.The Moment is a space for the conversationswe've been having us father and daughter for years.Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramoson the I-Heart Radio app,podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:02Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judeyce.Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rolls Star, Sheena Shea.I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest.There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happybirthday from Ariana to me.I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.This is a combo you don't want to miss.
01:30Listen to Casual Chaos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.Hi, I'm Kate Hudson.And my name is Oliver Hudson.We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.And what it's like to be siblings.We are a sibling rivalry.No, no.Sibling reverie.
02:01Don't do that with your mouth.Sibling revelry.That's good.So I read this book, How to Ikegee Guy.It was like a random book.I kind of punched in Google top 10 self-help books to read.And How to Eiki Guy came up.And so I started to read.
02:28read it and i got obsessed with it and so we reached out to tim tamashiro um who is the author ofthis book how to ikega and we uncovered what what it is well i thought i thought because you sentit to me and i looked at the title how to ikigai and i thought it was like a dance move so i waslike oh how to ikigai and it turns out it's not definitely not it's not it's not thatIt could be if it's your Iki guy, but your Ike guy is a dance movement.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.We'll let Tim explain to you sort of what it is when you're listening to this,but it has to do with sort of finding your purpose in life and doing what you love to do.
03:17Yeah, he got us to look at what ours was.Yeah, yeah.I mean, it's defining success.What is success to you?What is happiness to you?What is balanced to you?Everyone's Ike guy is a little bit different.But it was inspirational.
03:32Yeah, and also it's a night, it creates like a very good pathway to understanding what your purpose is, you know?And that doesn't mean that it doesn't come with challenges or complications and all of the things that life brings.But it does mean that you are actively doing the things that you left.Right.Anyway, check out Tim, Tim Tomasiro.You dig it. Happy with you guys.Hi, Tim.Hello.
04:08How are you?It's a pleasure to meet you.I've been excited about hanging out with the Hudson kids for a long time now.Yeah, when we are, we're 40-year-old children.That's for sure.There's no doubt about it.I'm glad we finally were able to make this happen.Well, thank you very much for inviting me.
04:27but I got to tell you, you know, you two are exactly the kind of friends that I would have had when I was growing up.I think that's just lovely that you've invited me on.So thank you.I really appreciate it.You're really welcome.I want to first tell you about how I literally discovered you and your book, How to Ikigai, because I went on a list of books that you must read.It was a must read book list.And it said, how to ikigai.
04:55And I was like, oh, that looks really interesting.She thought it was a new dance.Can we see the dance?The Iki guy dance.Well, as someone who is currently partnered with a half Japanese man and my daughter's Japanese,I was like, I'm very always intrigued with anything that is anything to do with Japan.And my man is from his family is Okinawa.Oh, wow.
05:25Right. So, I mean, you know, he's third, honey, what are you, third generation?Fourth generation. American. Yeah. But.I'm second, I'm second generation. I'm Nisi.Oh, oh, cool. Yeah. So, yeah, so I was like, well, and I got into it, and then I started reading your book, and I was like, Ike guy is, for me, was like, there was something about it that was just sort of eye opening because I think you say it in the book. It's all about.how life purpose is a really difficult thing to process.Yeah.With Ikigai, it sort of gives you a more sort of like fundamentals to follow, you know,as to how you're living your life.
06:09She actually sent it to our family thread.We have a family thread called Family Affair,and she sent the book to the thread, and that's how I got interested in it.That's amazing.Yeah.It made me rethink my entire life, which I don't know if it was a good thing.they're a bad thing well it's you know it is a fundamental question though isn't it all of her oh yeah noi know i know i know i mean i have questioned this and we're going to get into all of it in a minute
06:35but just my own personal experience i always question sort of what i do for a living yes i love it butit is it is it is a passion of mine not necessarily you know um do what you love do what you'regood at do what the world needs you know i think i can check off a couple of those boxes but you knowIt makes me think about if I am doing the thing that I am supposed to be doing.And Tim, for me, your entry into this was really just talking about your life and you're a musician.And I consider myself a musician and I haven't been living my Ike guy.Like I haven't been living that path.So there is something that for me was like a light bulb that went off when I read that book
07:21because you sort of entered it through music, which made it very relatable.for me. But let's start. Let's start with Tim. Why don't you introduce yourself and let's talk aboutreally like how you got to writing this book, How to Ikigai. Okay, yes. My name is Tim Tamishiro.I'm 57 years old and I've been living my Ike guy since I was about maybe 21 years old when I kind offigured out, oh, what the heck of my, wait a second. I'm supposed to have fun in life and I'm supposed to do thethings that I love to do and the things that I'm good at. So, you know, the interesting thing aboutdoing that is that I grew up in a very, very small town, a crazy small town, like a thousandpeople in central Alberta and Canada. And I was a bit of a different, you know, and when I say
08:11that, I mean, I was, myself and my brother were the two only visible minorities in theentire town, you know. So we had our own fair share of things that we had to deal with as far asthat was concerned and whatnot. So I was always considered different, but, you know, I didn'treally know what it was that made me different and whatnot. So when I was about 20 years old,I was, I was working on the highways at that time and I was a surveyor. I was actually helpingthem, you know, make sure that the roads went straight. You know, what that's like? It's a thanklessjob, by the way. And I laid in bed one Saturday morning and I just realized, you know,is this what life is supposed to be? Just a series of well-paying jobs and you put in the nine to
08:59fives and then, you know, you get a house and you get a car and you get married and all that otherkind of stuff. And I went, no, I don't want to live my life that way. I want to, I want to live mylife doing things that are enjoyable for me and that I love to do and that I'm good at. AndI was always kind of a little bit of a singer.So I decided right there and then on that Saturday morning,I sat up and dead and I literally said,I'm going to be a singer and I'm going to be a musician.And that started off this incredible cascade of events
09:28that have been just an extraordinary string of just wonderful life experiences.You know, you two grew up in a, you know, the,how would you describe Hollywood?Is it a dream-making place?race or a dream crushing place.A little bit of both.Yeah.A little bit of both.
09:49Probably more crushing than dream making.But yeah.Right.But when you do, then it's, you know, make dream.Well, Hollywood, it's dream making and then crushing within a year.You know, I mean, it can be honestly like you can have a job and you're on top of the world for two years and then that job ends.And now you're crushed.Now it's like, okay, how am I going to survive?
10:11Now the identity is you're scratching your head going, hmm, now what, right?So what I've discovered about Ikigai is thatIkega comes from Okinawa, Japan, where my grandparents are from.And I've always had that incredible sense that I would say that was almost part of my DNA,that ikigai was something that I knew that I had to do,that's something that I was good at,and that something that could also help the community in general, right,and that I could be rewarded for.
10:39And that doesn't necessarily mean a salary or payment.It really means how can I be thanked for it?How can people show appreciation?So it creates this beautiful boomerang of joy that just keeps on going around and around and around and around.So just to make the story shorter because it's very, very well, I will say that I've been fortunate enough to have this extraordinary life of doing all these crazy things.And once I just kind of put my mind to it and I know that it's something that I'm good at and that I love to do,I just go and do it.I literally just go and do it.
11:17So I've been a major label record rep,major label record rep.Yeah, that's a tongue true.And a radio host and a jazz singer.And I just returned from Thailand where I ordained as a monk.And I also am just, I'm scheduled now to,I'm going to go sing on a ship for a bunch of months just because I want to.Well, see, that's the thing that I loved that I took so much from your book,
11:46which was that it's really like life purpose or whatever that thing is for you.It doesn't matter where you're doing it or what is like, you said, like success and how it's measured.It's not accolades.It's not money.And granted, for me, I think people would say like, oh, it's easy for you to say because, you know, I have the means.But at the same time, it's like it doesn't matter how much money you have.If you're not living, if you're not living what makes you happy, then what are you doing, you know?And, like, I sometimes think that I would, I could be in a restaurant with no one listening with a piano player and sing all night long and be so I'm clearly.
12:30By Lionel Richie?Like, you'd sing that song?And I'd be, and I'd be happy.I'd be like living my weird eiki guy.But let me ask you a question, though.So in your 20s, you had this discovery or you had this, you sat up in bed and decided to change your life, basically.At that point, did you determine that this was ikigai or did you have to sort of come upon that later in life and understand, oh, wait a minute, I did something instinctual that is actually somewhat traditional and cultural?That was, like, it just felt right when I started, when I committed to it, but I didn't know anything about ikigai.
13:05In fact, I didn't even really learn about Ikigai until maybe about, I would say probably 20 years later or something like that where it just kind of popped up on this random television show that I was watching on a Sunday afternoon and I was looking for something to fall asleep too.And it was a furniture design competition.And I remember that these people were given the task to be able to create some sort of a couch.or something along those lines, a lounge or something.And basically, this one person made this really kind of bachelor pad couch,kind of chart truce in color, but it had four circles on it,and, you know, embroidered into the back of the couch.And the host was smart enough to ask, what is that?
13:54What is that symbol?And he said, oh, it's ikigai.It means that you do what you love.And I went, something about that word, I just kind of went,ikigai, that's a Japanese word.Something just kind of triggered it.And so needless to say, I wasn't having a snooze that afternoon.I was immediately on my phone and I was looking up, how do you spell ikigai?
14:14What is this ikigai thing?And then it just turned into this hunting expedition for more and more information about it.Now, at that time, there was hardly any information about it at all, even though it's been around for 2,000 years.But I do need to make the point that ikigai is not necessarily something that you do.that is a profession per se.Ikega is something that you do naturally that is just part of who you are.It's a verb.And it's usually approached with some sort of an intention.
14:52So my ikigai is to delight.So I know that I can delight a million times a day.So that's what I go out and do.Maybe we should figure out what your ikigai's are.I would love to.Well, let's explain what ikigai is.is. What's your, you know, if someone was like, what's your elevator pitch for Ikigai? What, what is that?Well, I literally say, Ikega is a lifestyle that comes from one of my grandparents were born in Okinawa.
15:21And it's essentially a way for you to be able to live your life's purpose. And it's a roadmap.Four steps in the roadmap. You do what you love, do what you're good at, do what the world needs, and do what you can be rewarded for.Sometimes you get paid for itBut more often than notIt's just somethingI want to break that downYeah, yeah, you're rightBecause you're talking about
15:43There's your professionYou knowAnd then there are the thingsThat you loveHopefully you love your professionBut do those things sort of cross-pollinate?RightThey can
15:54Yeah, so do what you loveLike if I if we were to likeLet's find Oliver's Eiki guyRightI've been thinking about thisLike, I love, I love to fish.Like, I'm a passionate fisherman.Like, I, I want to, I've had a boat and I fly fish, but I have a boat and I, you know, and it's what I would, that's what I love to do.
16:17I don't do it enough, though.So part of me in discovering what my Iiki guy is is to indulge more in the things that I love, right?Yeah, yeah.So that's what I love.Well, you love to laugh.I love to laugh.Oh, yeah, yeah.I mean, there's, right.
16:33Does that matter?Let's create a bit of a list, if that's okay, Oliver.Let's create a, tell me about little different things that you like and whatnot,because I do this a lot with people all over the world, right?And basically, literally, the way that we do it is we just have them answer just that one question.What do you love to do?Right.And that is, that's a, that's a huge question that most people never, never think of in their entire life.
16:58So you love to go fishing.You love to laugh.Right, I love to laugh.What else do you love?people laugh like that is a big one for me because that brings me joy like i would say i'm good at itit's what i love it's probably what the world needs just laughter and humor in general and i caneasily be rewarded for it and it's not monetary you know doing going ahead of yourself well i'm just sayingthat i just met with what you love i know but i might have just discovered something because i was trying
17:28to after reading your book i was trying to sort of fit one thing into all of these categoriesAnd I might have just found it because I was thinking more along the lines of fishing or I love golf, right, I love mountain biking, you know.Well, let's, so let's keep going.What else?What else do you love to do?Mountain biking.Mountain biking, okay.Mountain biking.
17:51I love, I love fishing.I love anything water.You know what I mean?I love diving.I love the outdoors.I love the outdoors.I love the ocean.I love nature.
18:00I love the mountains.I love my familyOkayHugeYou know I loveHonestly I love doing nothingI love beingThat's the most honest answer
18:14I've ever heardI mean I love doing nothingWith the people I loveI love justYou knowJustStorytellingOkay
18:26What aboutWhat about in your professionWhat do you love to dowelluh no i i i'm an actor and i'm in the entertainment industry right yeah right i do things but my mainoccupation i would say to make my money is being an actor i love being an actor in moments meaningthe the craft itself happens for me in moments when a scene is good when when when it's workingthe creative aspect of changing something to make it better i love um acting as a whole
19:00it's not something that I've always sort of lovedand has been part of my passion.I love being on sets, though.It is my happy place.I love the energy.I love the creativity.I love...That makes sense, though, because...
19:15Setting the tone.We were, like, you know, like, like movie kids.Like, we grew up...The kids would have grown up there, right?We grew up on sets, yeah, on behind.But more in the scene, though,like behind the camera.with, you know, wardrobe and the camera department
19:34and working in the, working behind.Yeah, okay.Yeah.And then what about, what about with your friends?What do you love to do with your friends?Oh, laughter is huge.So fun, I love that.Laughter is huge.
19:47Humor is such a big part of everyoneand everything in my life.And as we get older,it's nice to have actual conversationsthat have some depth, you know,and it's not just...Yeah.Because I've been friends with these boys
19:59since I was some one of them in preschool you know um and I just love the camaraderie of being withmy friends yeah have a cocktail cocktails drink have fun just it's the kids you can be a jazz musicianwell it's almost like it's almost it's almost it's almost the intangibles it's that connectedness that youfeel when when you're with your with your people where no words need to be exchanged you are justsort of in each other's presence and that feeling is important and positive I think and I don't doit enough by the way this is really interesting because you said connectedness what does it feel like foryou when you're out fishing and you're out mountain biking and you're out in nature yeah and you're doingthings that are that are a more solitude is that is there a connectedness there too or is that is that not
20:48there's a connectedness to something much bigger obviously and there is uh somethingenergetically that just sort of washes everything else away when i'm out fishingnothing really matters much anymore i am focused on whatever i'm doing as far as the technicalaspect of it but it's just more of the bigger experience of being out on the ocean for 10 days on aboat and not seeing land you know or being in the mountains and uh just sitting by a firerealizing that oh nothing really fucking matters except for this you know really love that don't youYeah, nature's huge and, you know, and then being a dad, honestly.Like, being a father is something I love.
21:35And you're good at.Yeah.Yeah, yeah, I do.And it's not easy.Way to go.High five.It would be a good dad.That's amazing.
21:43Yeah.Okay, so just basically what you're talking about, you're talking about all these amazing passions, you know, your family and your laughter and doing nothing and storytelling and acting sort of.I do love it.Well, here's the thing. The thing for me in my profession is that I feel like I haven't had anopportunity yet to do, as an actor, to do something where I can really dig in and have a specialmoment with it. I am an actor for hire. I do network television shows. You don't get time torehearse. You don't get time to create, really, except on the fly. And I look at Wyatt and Kateand my siblings who have had these amazing moments, you know what I mean, to just dig in and be
22:26creative and be a part of the process and i have yet to have that i have to sort of create that formyself and the other thing i will say is this is that um i've always wanted to make movies or tvas a director you know yeah and i did one thing i shot this 15 minute presentation and it was justchaos but i was so comfortable in the chaos and nothing phased me i had no nerves and there wastwice during that two-day process where i had to step aside because i got emotional because i felt likefuck this is what I need to this is what I should be doing I was so well I just nothing phased me I I and I wasthinking man if I could do this actually for real and had time you know I know that's where mytalent lies he's he's talking about director yeah being a director yeah you know and creating
23:14something my vision you know my my uniqueness rather than just saying lines that someone wrote for meI'm gonna move this along I'm gonna move this along I'm ready togo. I'm going to move us along because this is gettinga little... This is about me.No, I understand. But that isbut that's connection too, you know?So, like I say, you know, you'vetalked about all these great passions and whatnot,
23:37but it all comes back down toconnection, connection with people and washingaway, whatever it is thatyou can wash away. But I wouldinvite you to just pay attentionto that action of To Connect.You know, what does that mean?Nikigai can be a
23:53multifaceted jewel that you can look atfrom a million different ways. Yes, I want to connect with my family. I want to connect withmy kids. I want to connect with my friends. I want to connect with nature. I want to do all thissort of stuff. And if that is something that resonates with you, I really invite you to justkind of think about that and see if there's other ways that connection matters to you to makefilms or something along those lines. But regardless, it's going to be something that is an actionthat you can immediately wake up in the morning and go,well, I know what I get to do today.
24:26You're going to be me.I love the connecting because it is so you.Like, you know, I was our family,it's kind of how we grew up as well,but, like, to connect.Like, if you think about everything that you love to do,because when we get into mind, it's going to be so differentbecause acting's actually quite singular.
24:47You have to connect, obviously,to something like deep inside of yourself.But it's a much, it's not, it's not an outwardly, it is shared.But like, when you're learning or you're like in the craft and you're, you know, you have to like go into this place that is quite lonely.Mm-hmm.There's something that feels kind of singular about it.Totally.Sure.
25:13Well, well, let's do you real quick.Well, are we done with you?Yeah.Well, what, so.So, so.I would invite you to just spend some time around.that word, connect, to connect that action.And if it doesn't work for you, start looking around for a word that is maybe in the same
25:31ballpark, open a pheasaurus, you know, crack open the phone and start looking through thesaurus.Look for words that might connect with you.Yeah.That is some sort of a verb.And that maybe you can, you know, steer you towards what it is that you really love to do.Now, I need to make a point, though, you know, there's a big difference between your job and yourwork right your job is something that you do in order to be able to earn an income your work is somethingthat you do to achieve something bigger and more more like important i guess and you are your work
26:04really you know so that is that's something that's really important in terms of just understandingthe day-to-day kind of stuff yeah you're going to go and you're going to have your job and youmight be able to include your work in it right but you know to be able to work on yourself every dayThat's absolutely huge.I like that.I love that.It's so true.Job and work.
26:26Two different words.Especially for really creative people.But, you know, I mean, I personally think we say creative, but I think everyone's creative.I think everyone has, we, I mean, we are all created.So, like, we are here to create, you know, and pro-create.So I think everyone has that, whatever they are going to do or whatever they, like, whateverdrives them is coming from a creativeplace.
26:53Yeah. Yeah. So what do you love to do?Yeah. Let's do you. What do I love to do?I love to sing. I love to sing.I love to perform. I love to danceanywhere, any time.I love towork my body. I like to be active.I also love to connect, but I also
27:19really love being alone.I love being in quiet.That's your battery charging, though, right?Yeah.Yeah.Yeah, but I really need it, you know?It's like, I have to like disappear.And if I don't, like I could go crazy, you know.
27:37Yeah.Okay, and then to the job side, what is it that you love about your job?Everything.I love the camaraderie when it's good.I love the depth of connection and intimacyI feel with other actorswhen you're in it with them.I love being on a movie set.
28:03I love telling stories.I love being able to give great directorsthat I have so much respect for what they need.I love that feeling of knowingthat I'm bringing something to lifefor them that they that they see and then maybe hopefully when you said delight i love thatbecause i love when i can delight them with something new as well you know um i got can i justthrow something in here yeah everything that you just said here so far kind of kind of points to
28:39delight right that's i mean it is a good word yeah i i it is that's okay you can you can sharewith me if you want.I mean, absolutely.I mean, I, you know, yeah, I mean, I definitely delight or I also like making people feelgood, you know, like to lift, you know, to like elevate.Oh, that's interesting.I like to help people, you know.I like to help people achieve.
29:12Achieve what?Do you have an example of that that you'd be comfortable to share?Yeah, like in a just let's use a scene partnerAnd let's say someone is strugglingLike I want to be there to help them get to the place they need to get toYou know, I'm happy being the layupFor the dunk, you knowWell, hold on
29:36You mean the like the pass for the dunkYeah, like to, yeah, the passYou score on a layupOkay, well then what is it?Maybe like an alley-oop, like you like to throw the,the all-oob for the dunk. I'm the all-upe. Right. Okay. I'm very happy being the al-A-Upe,surprisingly. I don't always have to dunk, you know. Yeah. Why can't that be your Iiki guy?The al-Upe? It's kind of, what a great name. There's no, there's no rules behind what an
30:08I can be, you know?Yeah.I was, I talked with a gentleman once, and I said, what do you love to do?Because I love the break things.And I went, that sounds like the best eiki guy ever.What do you do?He says, I'm a software engineer.I like to break software, but I've always broken things, like, even through the time that
30:25I was a kid, you know, take apart the radio or computer or whatever.And I put it back together to see if it could work better or whatever.But so, you know, Allie, if that makes sense to you, that's something you could pay attention.Also, I feel like create.Like, I like to create.Like, when you think about all the things, like, I've got my businesses, I've got my, you know, development, I'm making my record.Like, I'm constantly creating things.Yeah.
30:53So that's also, you know, you know.I think the thing that I don't like is the, is like what I want to create.I just don't want to have to be like so linear all the time.Oh, okay.Right.I get that.That's the hard part.Yeah.
31:10Yeah.I want to do the work.I just don't want it to be my job.Oh, yeah.You know what I mean?Like, oh, the job part.Yeah, yeah, yeah.The job part is like drives you crazy, but the work part is exciting.
31:24Yeah, yeah.So is there something there?You kind of spiced up a little bit there when you're talking about lift, elevate,Alleyoop, create.You're really into, just from the energy.that I sensed from you, that you're really into telling about how you're just reallypassionate about everything about your job, you know, to encompass, to, oh, gosh, I don't have athesaurus in front of me, but envelop, yeah, like envelop.
31:53Yeah, to be, yes, immersed, immersion.Immers, yeah.Yeah, I mean, I think the right word, I mean, immersion is actually really interesting.Mm-hmm.You know why immersion is because I need more of that.That's when I'm the most productive.Right, because if you find your word, I'm sure you can have multiple words too.But if you find that word or that sense, then how do you implement that into your everyday life?
32:23You know, if you're saying immersion, like if that is your focus, how do you wake up and immerse yourself?It means I'm going today is going to be about my kids.I'm going to immerse myself.Right, maybe into a specific category of some kind.To dive in.Yeah, that's that sort of thingLike really get into itYeah, like I'm going to go make music
32:42I'm going to just completelyimmerse myselfAndMm-hmmWell, something to say thatThere's something there for youI can see that you're really kind of thinkingThat's kind of what I do every day
32:57That it's a verb and not likeRightA thingRight, it's funnyIt's funny when you said it was a verbBecause I was one of my questionsI was like how do youIs it an adjective?
33:07Is it a verb?Do you ikigai or too ikigai or is it a noun?You know, I mean, but I guess it is a verb.Yeah, there are actions that kind of encompassed every bit of the good qualities and the great joy that you attain out of life, you know.And it's different for everybody, you know.An engineer might have a different kind of ikigai than, say, a doctor.But regardless, you know, I've talked to all sorts of people that have.of one gentleman was into, as I was going through this workshop with him and his colleagues,
33:42he said, you know, I've been thinking about this the whole time.And he says, I was thought that my Ike guy was to collect, but he says, it's not aboutcollect because he said he gathered all these beautiful glass sculptures and his house isfilled with all these glass sculptures.But then he says, but now I'm giving them all away because I don't really want them.He says, but now that I think about it, I like to hunt them down.I said, well, there's your ikigai's to hunt.is I love to hunt everything.
34:08I love to hunt it down.So, you know, there's all sorts of ways to be able to look at it.And whatever inspires you, ultimately the great thing is, is that once you name yourikigai, that is the beginning to understanding it, really.That is the answer right there.Because now, you know, tomorrow you might want to wake up Oliver and go, oh, my ikigang,to connect, I wonder if that's it, you know?and if it lifts you
34:37you can kind of goI'm going to just connect with a bunch of peopleand things and projects todayto see what makes you feel like rightit's cool because it seems to be fluidit's living and breathing in a senseyou know what I mean it's not just one solid thingthat just sticks in the ground like a monolith
34:54like an ikigai monolithit's moving meaning a connectivityconnectedness could mean so many different thingsyou know from day to daybut it's just the overall of being connected to whatever it is that you choose to door make that, make a choice based on being connected, you know.But yeah, and can your Iki guy change?Why not?
35:19There's no rules and lights that say that you can't.Well, I guess really what it boils down to is that, you know,Ikega is really based on your true authentic house, you know.So, you know, we're kind of, we are kind of fully formed now.You know, but I could see how, you know, when you're, you know, when you're 90 years old, maybe to connect still works for you, you know.Yeah.And for you, Kate, maybe when you're 90 years old, too immersed, it still works for you, you know.I mean, take a look at your family and see what it is that they do.
35:51Have they all always done that, you know?Yeah, what are like parents, ekege guy?I don't know, but, but now I'm going into my whole psychology just about connection.Well, in your authentic self.Right, and just about how hard it always has been for me to truly connectbecause of vulnerability issues and, you know what I mean?Yeah.Now I'm going deeper into this whole thing with myself, you know?
36:14Maybe it is really your ekegai.Your true authentic self is to connect deeper.Right, deeper.But then we...Oh, that's interesting.Mm-hmm.Then there's do what you're good at.Mm-hmm.
36:28So how...So, okay, so does that also, like, I'm good at...like Ollie is good at connecting or is that what that means or do what you're good at is theactual monolith so to speak is that like you know I'm good at cooking so I should beactively pursuing that desire and that love for cooking well the interesting thing is thatonce you figure out what you love to do that's the the second question you ask yourself is am I good atthat. Right. Right. And it's almost like, it's almost like those two questions are kind ofco-answeres of each other. And the wonderful thing that I've seen happen with so many people
37:14that I've done this exercise with is that they go through that, do what you love and do whatyou're good at. And they kind of go, yeah, that's me. And then they start asking them, or startnoticing rather, that, oh, you know what? The world does need that. The world really does need more.more of me, right? And when I do that authentic action on a regular basis, they say thank youall the time. And that just gives me more fuel to just kind of make it happen again and againand again. You know, I mentioned before that it's a boomerang. It really is. So do what you'regood at. When you said that you love to sing, there is like a whole different side of youthat I certainly didn't really know about.
37:57But boy, did that ever make your eyes like sparkle?It was like disco balls in your eyes there for crying out loud.It was amazing.So is it the act of singing that is important to you?Or is it the act of emoting your own emotions to people?Or is it to do it just for yourself?Mm-hmm.You're breaking it down, basically.
38:22Yeah.Why do you like to sing?Because I get lost in it.You immerse.I immerse.Is that a weird word to be my eiki guy?Like, immerse.Immersion.
38:35It's like, I couldn't immerse.There's got to be a different word.And you can look through different languages too.Yeah, I'm like, I'm definitely getting the the thesaurus out after this podcast.To immerse.I have a question to switching gears just a little bit because you were 21 when you sort ofdiscovered this not necessarily ikigai you found that out later that it was you know there was actualword for it or a term his okinawa DNA was just in it but do you i guess it's it's teach their own but
39:08do you have to take that jump that risk meaning i have a good job i'm making money maybe i don'tlove it but you know what fuck it i'm just going to go all in and go do the things that i want to doyou know i mean you have to be practical in your life you have to survive right um does somethingSometimes doing the thing that you love or that you might be good at isn't a practical thing.And, you know, as far as survival goes and just living in today's world.Yeah, certainly.You know, any introductory course of beginner psychology at university will tell you about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right?And it's based on a pyramid that basically says that we have five essentials that we have to look after each day.
39:51And it begins with, you know, food and shelter and that safety and security.and then it goes into like friends and connections and then ego,a little bit of ego stuff.But at the very top of that pyramid is self-actualization.And what most people are able to do throughout their lives is just focus on those first four layers.And because it's terrifying when you think about it, you know, to go a day without food or shelter,my God, that would be terrifying.And even without, you know, your friends and family, if you had absolutely no access to them
40:23or being able to be known for something that it is that you're accomplishing in your life,that might even be a little bit terrifying.But that fifth level of that pyramid, that self-actualization part, is one thing that we have a tendency as human beings to forget about.What I'm proposing with Ikigai is that if we can place more attention on self-actualizationand answering that question, what do I love to do, why was I put on this earth,this gives us a full life experience, like the fullest life experience.So the interesting thing is once you start actualizing more, the less your need for things,you know, expensive homes, fancy sports cars, whatever the case, the less you need of that.
41:09And I've even, when I was at the monastery, being a monk, wearing orange,I came up with this theory that said, okay, wait a second.you took that whole idea of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and you took that whole pyramid andyou flipped it upside down, that's why monks are so happy is because all they do all day isself-actualized. So, you know, putting that time and energy into yourself on a regular basisregardless of how much money it makes you, but focusing more on how much joy it brings you,that's what I'm saying, Iggy Guy has the potential of doing. There's people who are very, verylucky who do something called job crafting, where even though their job description might not necessarily
41:57say that you're going to do your Ikega. You just bring it and you just kind of included. I have a friendwho's a radio host, and that's what she does. There was nothing on her description that, you know,she's supposed to report traffic and weather in the mornings every day. But what she did is she justwilly-nilly just started a volunteer group at the radio station.She said, well, I got the air for two hours a day.I might as well do some good with it.So she started this beautiful thing called a do crew where basically volunteers come togetherand they do, you know, habitat for humanity or harvest a community garden or whatever the case.
42:37But it has nothing to do with her job description.But that was so successful for her and she's so happy doing it that now that'sturned into six other radio stations doing the exact same thing.Right.I like job crafting.Job crafting is nice, isn't it?Yeah. That's like my career.I have like job crafted.
42:56Yeah.I'm like, I think I'll start a company.Right.Yeah.You know what?I think I'm going to go do this.Well, it's also fun to take your brain and put it into a different place.You know what I mean?
43:08It's nice because you're so focused on one thing.And then it's nice to have your, you know, you're doing some.something you're using a different part of your brain.What is the actual history, though, of Iki Guy?Like, it comes from Okinawa, but like, where does it, what is it?Where does it come from?Yeah.There was, according to the research that I've done, there was this wonderful group of
43:32women.Women know everything.Women are the most powerful.Say it again, Tim.Say it again.Women are the most powerful, they're the smartest and the most nurturing and the mostwonderful. So these ladies, they were known as AMA divers. And AMA divers are very prevalentthroughout Southeast Asia, Japan, and China, Korea. And basically, these AMA divers are women that
43:55would go down to the shore and they had a specific work to do. They literally went down andthey jumped into the ocean butt naked and took a wooden barrel out and floated it on the surfaceof the ocean. And what they'd do is they'd dive down as far as they could and they'd gather food.swim back up and then put it back into these into the tubs and they were really really good atthis you know some of these amadivers there are still amadivers to this day but um some of themyou know in their 80s and they could hold their breath for like three minutes at a time but theygather up all these urchins and and sea cucumbers or whatever they could find and they wouldput it into this barrel and then they'd take it back to the to the community and they would
44:38really be appreciated for for their skill for doing this because it at thatfed the community, right?But the most beautiful thing about this is that these ladies were the ones that startedcalling it ikikai.Iki means life.Kai means shell.So life's shell, essentially.They're doing what they love to do and they're good at it.
45:01So eventually over time, it morphed into Iki Kai, Ikega, rather, which means life's worth.So, you know, other people in Okinawa started doing things that were, you know,They were really good at, whether it's woodworking or teaching or, you know, learning martial arts or whatever the case.So that's kind of where it comes from.It's life in a shell.I want, it's really beautiful.Are there still 80-year-old naked women diving in Okinawa for sea urchins?Yeah.
45:34Yeah.Yeah.I'm a diver.I'm sure there's a few of them up here in Canada, too.It's just a little colder.Yeah.It's like Ronnie in the pool.She's our little Amma diver.
45:49Cool.What would be really interesting is if people started to, if this was actually researched,like, is it researched?Like people actually living Ikigai?Like, has that been researched?From a scientific standpoint, right?I don't know of any specific studies, but I'll tell you what.I could literally open up the internet right now and go on YouTube,
46:08Instagram, TikTok, and find you a thousand people who are living.their icky guy right now.Yeah, right.I, you know, because, you know, especially on TikTok, you know, that's humanity in anapplication, you know.I love watching TikTok because, you know, not only do you get to see Kate Hudson dancingaround in her kitchen, but you also get to see, you know, 400-pound male ballet stars.Yeah.
46:34That are exceptionally good at what it is that they do.Or kids who photograph toy cars to make them look like they're real car.with an iPhone.I know, that's crazy.The vastness of humanity on TikTok, especially,shows people doing what it is that they love to doand what they're good at.And I think that's, I think that's the most beautiful thing in the world.
46:58But you said something really interesting.It's the optimistic side of social media, you know,because we all look at it as this negative platform, you know,for the most part.Of course, we see the benefits from it.But when you were looking at it through that,looking at it through that lens where you are it's a place to discover people doingyou know what they love and and something that they're good at and it's a place for them to
47:20express that that's pretty uh it's an interesting perspective i wonder what living your ikegadoes to and for your self-esteem well i think self-esteem a lot of it is based on sort of theperception of you of yourself so other people's perceptions of you right right and i think if you'reliving your ikey guy then those things might just go away because you are doing what you love andyou're happy about yourself and you know but i don't know i'm asked the professional really boils down tohappiness right we're we're that's our natural state happiness is our natural state and the thingsthat take us away from happiness or things like anger greed and delusions this is all buda talk here nowSo these three things, they yank us away from being happy all the time.
48:11Iki-Gai is something that is essentially something that is innateand something that we were born looking for.Why was I born?What is the special gift that I have that I can do that nobody else can doand that they can benefit from it, you know?We're charitable beings.We want to do things that are beneficial for others.That's the reason why we start business.
48:35businesses, right? So, you know, in terms of being able to just have greater well-being,that self-actualization part of it and the Iki-gui part of it is absolutely essential.I'll tell you, there is a lot of positive psychology studies based at a university, Pennsylvania,or even the, oh, have you guys taken the Science of Well-Being course?No.No.Tell me, tell me everybody to write this down.Can you come in my phone?
49:07Is it online?Yes, it's online.Yeah.So, and I talk about this in my book, I think.But no, I can't remember.I can't remember where I wrote my book.Wait, what is it called?Science of Well-Being.
49:20It's called the Science of Well-Being.So this is a course that's been put together by Dr. Lori Santos.This is the most popular course in the history of Yale University.And it's been around for, you know, Yale's been around for 300 years.years. So Dr. Santos put this course together, and essentially the students at Yale would call thisDr. Santos's happiness class, and they also called it the hardest class at Yale. And what I love aboutthis particular course is that Dr. Santos takes us through these steps and just basically say,whatever we think, whatever we believe in our feeble human brain that's going to bring us happiness,
49:57it's wrong. We are very, very bad at guessing what is going to bring us happiness. And if I couldsome eyes the course down to down to just what the takeaways are without giving it away.Yeah, it's 10 weeks.Yeah, but you can just, I binge watched it.It was like a game of throwing.You can fly through it.Okay.Yeah, yeah.
50:19And, but anyway, so Dr. Santos says, acts of kindness.Yeah.Massive impactor in your base level of well-being.If you can go out and do something that is kind and that can lift something.somebody else's spear every day, good God, that is a good thing for you. So Oliver, you know,when you say you love to laugh and you love to make people laugh and all that kind of stuff,that's an act of kindness, my friend. That is something that you're doing out of generosity.So that impacts your overall well-being. But they also make things like, you know,
50:52physical efforts, obviously walk and running, doing that kind of stuff. That boosts theendorphins in your brain. There's things like, oh, the one that really,made me get excited is something called time affluence that means you're time rich it means you do withyour time and you want to do with your time rich that's cool do you do with your time what youwant to do with your time though kate i try but the truth is i never really can because someone'salways bothering me okay so like i'll be like i don't want to be disturbed for like likelike three days, but something will happen.For a long time.
51:38Someone will call and I'll have to do something and I will never get, like, I literallyhave to literally shut my phone off.Let's start with three hours and then move from there to three days.Well, like a weekend, like I'll never get a real weekend.You can choose to.If I turn my phone off, yeah.I have to actively, like, turn my phone off.Like, I literally have to, like, leave.
52:05I need to, like, get in, like, the only time, like,if I was, like, in Jeff Bezos, this is rocket ship.It's, like, the only time no one could get a hold of me.Even then, it'd be, like, Madeline would be like,can you just get to Kate for five seconds?Madeline would be in, like, a space.I need an approval.There should be, like, a space shoot out the window, like,
52:20pointing at, like, some sort of a thing.I took the other rocket to catch up.Like a fablet except, put the phone.Exactly.Yeah.Like, an in bloom, like, like, real.And they can't like, good, is this one okay? Is it cleared?But yeah.
52:38Well, regardless, with this course, the science of well-being, these are all studies that have come out of the relatively new field of positive psychology that basically says that, you know, instead of just treating psychology isn't always just about treating mental illness.It's also about increasing mental wellness.So positive psychology really focuses on these types of things.like, you know, time affluence, acts of kindness, physical activities,connectedness with people.And Ikigai, it plays a role in that because it's helping you literally connect with yourown self-actualization on a regular basis just by naming it.Yeah.
53:20Just by naming it.I love the simplicity of that because sometimes also I think there's all these different thingsthat we could be doing, like even what you're saying in this course,which, by the way, I think everyone should be doing things like that.But it's hard for people to focus their time and energy.You know, I find I by nature am optimistic, which I know is very rare.But then there's moments where, like, you know, I find that the quote I love the most is contentment is a discipline.Like, optimism is something we need to work towards.
53:52Like, it's something we actually actively pursue.You know, our brains kind of tend to do the opposite.opposite. And you just did it, right? Instead of focusing on the illness of the brain to focus on thewellness of the brain, even that, even the linguistic of that, the thought of that is actuallyfiring a more optimistic part of your brain. But then Ikegai, the simplicity of it, I thinkfor anyone to be able to actually center in on one word, the active word for them to pursue,is kind of geniusbecause you know
54:31it doesn't complicate it too muchit doesn't become complicatedyou apply that to anythingyeah well that's the beauty of itis its simplicityI mean it really isit's simple but but difficultin the same in the same sense
54:45you knowI love that you went up into the mountainsand just got ordained as a monkcan you justyeah what was that?We need to like unpack this for a secondwere you like did you just wake up in the morninglike meh I'm going to Thailand
54:56I'm going to become a monk.Where did this?Sort of.Yeah?Sort of.So what motivated this?I'll be perfectly honest with you.COVID kicked my ass.
55:08And it wasn't the COVID illness.It was all the stuff, the negativity that was built around it.At the exact same time, as you might remember, there was Black Lives Matter, and then therewas Stop Asian hate, and then there was the anti-vaxxers, and there was a certain orange presidentin the United States.And there was all sorts of stuff that was happening.And when you're alone in your house, doom scrolling becomes your only hobby, right?And so I found myself really, really getting down and down and down.
55:39And it really affected me.I ended up in the hospital a couple of times just with mental unwellness, you know?Wow.And so with that, I decided that I've always kind of leaned into Buddhism a little bit,but I really leaned into it this time because I knew that it was the only.kind of island that I could go and sit on and actually, you know, drink any wisdom.So I just started, you know, reading some books and watching some videos online and you knowhow the algorithm works.
56:08So all of a sudden, there's more monk videos and there's more monk videos.And then one day I got this.You were really sprawling.You were just in, yeah.I was getting deeper and deeper.And one day a video came on.It was this young man from California, actually.and he is an ordained monk in Thailand.
56:27And his name is L.P. Nick, or Lumpi, Nick, which means brother.And he went to this program, which is an international ordainment program where men from around the world can come and ordain in English in Thailand in Chiang Mai.And I went, ah, that sounds like absolute heaven.And so I looked into what, and because of COVID, it was all shut down and whatnot.out but I put my name on the waiting list and as soon as it opened up they said would you liketo come and I said yes I would love to come so I went there in September you spent about eightdays kind of learning different chance and kind of learning the process and meditation of being a monkand then you literally fully ordain and and leave your entire past behind you and ask the whole world
57:21for their forgiveness and for anything that you've trespassed on in this life or any lifepreviously and you literally just take on the life of a monk where you meditate four timesa day and you learn the dama and you find peace peace is possible with practice that's what i figuredout that's so amazing so wait so it's eight days but then do you stay longer or then you comehome and then now you know it's it's eight days to get to the ordainment yeah yeahand then you stay for the remainder of the month.So it's a 30-day ordainment.Okay.
57:55This is the way that Thai men will ordain usually once or twice or many times in their life.93% of ties are Buddhist.But this is all part of their own understanding and be able to kind of, you know,live a good life so that they can be good providers and be good people and whatnot.But for North American men, as I am sure you can attest Oliver,we don't get a lot of chances to go and meditateor ordained as a monk, right?You'd look good as a monk.
58:28I'd be great.You'd be great.You'd shave off your eyebrows and your hair.You have to shave your eyebrows off?Yeah.You shave everything.It's part of letting go your ego, Kate.Wow.
58:40Coming back from North America, though,do you have now, are you living this life?I mean, have you sort of, you know,ask for that forgiveness and sort of put your other life behind you?Yes, I have. And I can say that I've carried on with the meditation practices. When you leave the monastery, you disrobe. So you hand your ropes back in and you get the deposit of your regular clothes back. But coming back into North America and having that thing, it was very, very, very noisy on the old noodle. But I can say that I've come back with such extraordinary.lessons. I'm literally just putting together the first kind of outline for a new book.It's going to be called part-time monk, that piece is possible with practice.Cool.
59:31And, yeah, I'm going to outline all the different learnings and all the different journeysthat happened leading up to that whole monk experience.But that is something that anybody can do.They can literally just go to iMonstery.com and literally just say, hey, this is somethingthat I'd be interested to do.How interesting.Could you imagine going for a month?Yeah, it'd be amazing to do.
59:53It's almost like called backyard monk.Like you can just like, you know what I mean?But it's also that just that experience of really like living that.That's a long time.I mean, that's not, you know.It's a long time.For people who live.Yes.
01:00:07You know.But you're also gaining something that, you know, that you never would have done that many people have dedicated their entire lives to.But you can go there for 30 days and really experience what that is like.It's almost like every man.every manshould have to be ordainedas a monkevery man should have
01:00:25take opportunitiesin certain points of their liveslike early 20slike almost every decadethis is like the campaignyou're running onif you ran for presidentyeah I'm like every man
01:00:37when you're 21you're going to have your first ordainedno but think about the differencewhat you're bringingwhat you're bringingor what you've learnedor what you're carryingand then to like just literally
01:00:48disrobeand just find peace.Yeah.In order that's like, if there was a physical idea, here's a jar of sparkles.Okay.This is what your life is like every day.This is what being a monk does, and this is what meditation does.You just put it down.
01:01:07You make it still.That's the entire exercise of being a...That part right there is where I want to live.I thought the sparkle part was the good part.Like, I was like, yeah, I want that.but it's notbut here's an interesting thing though toolike you start moving it around a little bit
01:01:24in the daytime yeahand then all of a sudden the sparklesstart to hash up again and whatnotbut the interesting thing isthey might not be as mighty sparklesand it takes less time to actually settleyes so this is just a littleI love that
01:01:38that's cool I like that at the craft storethat's actually that's the whole ideaof of a peacefulI love that existenceI think you could market this and sell this and make billions of dollars.Like, I'm just saying, like, I would love to have that thing as my own, like, actual physical thing to look at to calm your mind.Well, almost to calm your mind.I mean, even just watching it settle has an effect.
01:02:05Yeah, it's true.And then when it gone into that, I was, I am entered.I was in the middle of the sparkles.Right.Yeah.When it was shaking and I was like, yeah.When it slowed down, all of a sudden I saw myself.in the water with the sparkles.
01:02:20I was like, ooh.When it slowed down,I swear to God I thought of momand overboard with a dream sequencewhen she's like looking upand like spitting outon New Year's Eve.So wait, I have a couple more questions.
01:02:37When you said, you know, time,I even forgot the wordbecause it's affluence,time affluence.Time affluence, yeah.To be time affluent.It kind of reminds me of something that I think you also talk about in the book a little bit, which I want to cover, which is the difference between, like, the important, like, how do you decipher when, let me put it this way.Like, there's sometimes, like, someone's, like, living their Eiki guy, let's say it.
01:03:06And you're, you know, they're like, yeah, man, like, I'm living my life.Like, I'm living Eiki guy.And you're like, yeah, but you can't pay your bills.you're happy then I guess who careyeah but what if you're married to this personwhat if this is like your what if this is likeyour partner and you're likeyou know we are children
01:03:25we can't even affordyou know the book and I needyou I get that you're happyliving your life but I need you actually to havea job I need you to go to workright how do wedecipher what the ikigai isand how to live that life purpose and actually
01:03:41how to have some practicalpractical ikie guy. PracticalEiki guy. Yeah.Yeah. Sothis is something that isa bit of a head scratcher in termsof just, you know, regulareveryday people. Yeah. Because we
01:03:57definitely want to have the abilityto be able to do what we love and what we're good at.But we still have that bottomhalf of Maslow's hierarchy of needs,right? You know, part-timeIkega's very real. You know,there's no reason why, you know,I mentioned this in my little TED talk
01:04:13that I did that, you know, we have one, nine to five that we deal with every day, but we havetwo, five to nines.So, you know, we can do a lot in those four hours in the morning or we can do a lot in thosefour hours afternoon or maybe one in the morning and three in the afternoon.I have a friend who is a doctor, and I kind of think of us as the Ikigai doctor becauseDr. Scott Forsyth is this wonderful man who has a family medicine practice, but he says,Abbott just ferociously talented nature photographer.So when he wakes up in the morning, the first thing he does is he does all of his photography
01:04:50stuff.He just loves diving in, immersing himself in all this photography stuff.And he works on that specifically only until noon.Sorry, only until noon.And then he goes into his doctor's office and he's a doctor for the rest of the day, right?So Ikega isn't something you have to do in your quote unquote job hours per se.it's still something that is important for you to do as just part of your life.It doesn't have to be 24 hours a day.
01:05:17I think that's a really important thing.It's like what, you know, some of us call like the side hustle.But it's not a hustle.It's just a love.You know, where you have things that you love to do that aren't necessarily what you're,what's affording your life.Yeah.And people do those side hustles with one intention or one.
01:05:40hope in mind is that it becomes the regular hustle right right yeah that's the hope is that they can besuccessful doing what it is they love to do so they can turn it into a full-time hustle so you know bet onyourself as far as ike guy is concerned if you do it two hours a day if you do it one hour if you do it10 minutes whatever the case yeah but if you just know what it is then you can just and if you'reconsistent with it then it changes sort of your every day you know and i i i can feel that meaningI live in Los Angeles and I rarely go to the beach, you know,and then sometimes I took the kids there the other dayand the sun was setting and we were swimming in the freezing water.
01:06:16I'm like, why don't I come here all the time?I love it.I mean, it makes me feel good, but I don't do it.I was just going to buy another boat,but it turns out I have backed taxes.Anyway, so, but like, you know, having another boat,I want to be consistent with it and get out on the,the ocean at least three times a week because it makes me feel good.
01:06:41Right.The things that make me feel good, I just don't do enough.That's it.Well, and then I think the other thing is that the measurement of success, how you measuresuccess is really important because, you know, I remember when Kurt said to me when I wasreally young, why do you want to act?Because if my desire to act was to have what was considered, you know, whatever monetarysuccess or success that, you know,
01:07:09it brings fame or celebrity.If that was the motivation,his concern was I'd be miserablebecause it's, that is never going to make you happy as an actorbecause it's such a tumultuous, critical, rejecting career.And so, like, what is the measure of success in what we do?You know, it's never really going to be the dogSo, like, even, I sometimes think about that with you because you're like, oh, even if, even if you were given said opportunity, I'm not so sure that's what would bring you happiness as an ever, as an actor.
01:07:47I'm not so sure that that.Maybe not.I just haven't had that chance yet, but you might be right.I mean, you might be right.I think that feeling will come from you.You had that feeling.Yeah.You're just not pursuing that feeling anymore.
01:08:01You're not pursuing the director, which is what would probably bring you.This is an ekey guy moment only because right now it's the way I make my money is being an actor.That's the way I support my family and feed my kids.You know what I mean?Sure.The directing part would have to be that side hustle that takes a lot of time to develop and do, which I think is coming.You know, I feel like it's in my older age once my kids get older, then, you know, maybe I'd have the capacity.But, you know, we'll see.
01:08:30I don't know.We'll see.my whole thing is this whole idea that money doesn't buy you happiness i don't believe it i thinkmoney can give me some happiness i'm like i'm like i'm like i say to my mom all the time i'm likei'm like i've got an amazing wife amazing kids yeah it's like if you back the brinks truck upoh my god stresses will go away and i'll be like whew i'm i'm so happy right now yeahi don't buy it i don't buy it i think i would i think if you i think you would i think if you i thinkYou would still have panic attacks and you'd still have it.
01:09:05No way. No more panic attack.I think most people really want in life.And I know I know your listeners won't be able to see this.But I think they want this.Right.He's holding up the jar of sparkles.I think they want just a really, really peaceful, contented life.That's right.
01:09:21With one flooding sparkle.But it doesn't really bother me.This is kind of called equanimity.That's a word that we use in Buddhism.Equanimity is something basically just basically.says you have the calm and the wisdom that'll allow you to be able to use the space betweenthe thought and the reaction in a really, really, like, peaceful, easy-going way.Is that just water?
01:09:47That's just water.That's just water and a little bit of glycerin if you want the recipe.Yeah, yeah, yeah.And I could tell, I could tell there's something in there.You're going to go home and take out the pickle jar out of the fridge.I like that thing.I do.I really do.
01:10:03I'm going to copy you.Do you have any siblings, by the way?I do.How many siblings?I'm the baby.I have an older brother who is about three years older than I am.He was adopted brother.And then I have an older sister as well.
01:10:18She's my half-sister, actually.And, yeah, they all live here in the same province as I do.Give us a little bit of history from where your family came from and when they came tothis to Canada. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So my grandfather and grandmother were an arrangedmarriage from Okinawa. And they came from this very, very, very, very impossibly small set ofisland called Hamahiga Island, just off the coast of the main island of Okinawa. And I wentthere a couple of years ago and it's just, it's absolutely impossible to think that anybody couldlived there. But anyway, my grandfather immigrated from Okinawa to Hawaii with his brother in the late
01:11:021800s. And they worked in the cane fields there and he hated it because it was too much likeOkinawa. So my grandfather jumped on a boat and came to Canada and he landed in Vancouverand he started living in this little tiny small Japanese, I think he could probably call it like aJapanese kind of center called Steveston outside of Vancouver. And he was like doing justthe fishermen stuff and, you know, basic things. And then the First World War broke out. And him andthese 200 and some Japanese men volunteered to fight for the Canadian Army in the First World War,if you can believe that. And the people said, no, you can't do that. Anyways, in time, they said,yeah, we need soldiers. So send over those Japanese guys. So they all went.
01:11:52and trained in Calgary here,and then they went off and fought in the First World War.Two hundred and two, I think, Japanese men.Imagine that.Fighting for the Canadian Expeditionary Force.Crazy.So anyway, I digress.When my grandfather came back after the war,
01:12:12he was allowed to purchase some land in Alberta to be a farmer.And that's where his wife came and met him.and they'd never met each other, if you can believe that.He went and picked her up on a train in Vancouverand brought her back to a farm.And they had 11 kids, and my dad was the second oldest.So they liked each other.I guess there's nothing else to do.
01:12:38So your dad was...My dad, well, yeah, my dad was born in 19...What was it, 1923?And so, oh, geez, he'll be 100 years old next year.Well, he died a few years ago.But anyway, so him as a Japanese man, he met my mom, who was mostly British, from what I understand.And they got together.And my mom came with my sister.
01:13:12My brother was adopted because they didn't think they could get pregnant.And then right after they adopted my brother, they had me.Yeah.Oh, cool.So you've always, so Canada, they came through Canada.And so during internment, Canada wasn't affected at all.Yeah, it was.Oh, it was.
01:13:31Were your parents interned?No, because they had already, they were already living inland.So it was only the people on the coast that were brought inland.Yeah.Okay.Sad part of history.I know, terrible and not covered enough.Danny's family, Danny's grandfather and we were interned.
01:13:49Oh, God.Yeah, crazy, right?And no one really talks about it.It's not something.No.Yeah.It's awful.All right.
01:13:59So let's, so what, is there anything else that we want to?No, but I'd like to maybe wrap it up with sort of like a message to the people who are listening, basically.Like, number one is sort of when you start to sort of discover your ikigai, what does that feel like?You know what I mean?Or what might, what might that bring upon?as far as what you're feeling in your life,once you start to do the things that you love to do?It just feels like you walk out the door
01:14:30and you have the compass that knows exactly what your true north is.It's literally that feeling.And if you're creative about it,you can realize that there are a million different waysthat you can use your Iki guy,not only to benefit yourself,but especially to benefit other people.That's the real magic, I think, of Ikega.
01:14:47is that once you start seeing how people react to when you make them laughor when you make them feel like you're fully immersed with themor whatever the case, you know,there's so many different ways that you can do thatand people know that you're being true to yourselfand they go, Jesus, you're good at that.I am so thankful that you brought that, you know?It's like, I don't know, the ultimate gift, really.
01:15:12I love that.And number one is to go by the book, right?That's how to begin this all, because we got to, you got to buy the book, you got to read it because it's amazing.But I would assume, not assume, but maybe a great way to start for someone who's trying to discover what their Iki guy is is to do exactly what you did with us.But you can kind of do it with your own.Like, just really think about the things that you love, write them down and then find the common denominator.Yeah, find the action.Yeah, yeah. Love to do.
01:15:40Yeah. Love to do.Yeah. Yeah, I love to do. Yeah, that's for sure.And I don't know if this is appropriate, but I have a Skillshare course on Do What You Love.Oh, yeah, no, yeah, of course.If people want to go to that, that'd be great.Of course.It's called Do What You Love, an introduction to Ikigai.So, and it's available on Skillshare right now.
01:15:58Oh, great.Fantastic.Trying to get at.Perfect.Well, this has been great.Tim, thank you so much.I loved hanging out with you.Yeah, that was fun.
01:16:07And thank you for your book.It was really helpful for me.Yeah, I learned a lot.I appreciate it.Right now.I think I figured some shit out.I'm so thankful that you shared it with your family, Kate,and that this is something that is meaningful to you.
01:16:20I'm working on a different little kind of side project right now.It's called Ike guy income that is literally based on that whole idea of all of saying.Oliver.Yeah.There's so many interesting ways.To make money off of your ikigai.Yeah.Yeah.
01:16:35And there's so many ways to do it.And you have such a great personality to be able to be making more contents.You can use that as a tool as well.but thank you guys.I'm so thankful.All right.Thank you, buddy.Thank you, Tim.
01:16:51Sibling Revellerie is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson.Producer is Allison Bresden.Editor is Josh Windish.Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark.If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review.This show is powered by Simplecast.Jorge Ramos.And I'm Paola Ramos.
01:17:15Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one.We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective.The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years.Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.It's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice.Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea.I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest.
01:17:54There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana.Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me.I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.This is a combo you don't want to miss.Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple,podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.It may look different, but native culture is alive.My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture.
01:18:25Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop.That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop.Explore his story along with many other native stories on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges.Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app.Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.This is an IHeart podcast.
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