Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - How I Met My 35 Siblings with Chrysta Bilton and Evan Scott

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Kate and Oliver are joined by two siblings who didn't know the other existed until they were adults: Chrysta Bilton, author of "Normal Family: On Truth, Love, and How I Met My 35 Siblings" and Evan Scott. They share their incredible story, discuss nature vs. nurture, forgiveness, setting boundaries, and much more.Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by:Helix (helixsleep.com/sibling)Sakara (sakara.com/sibling)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.

So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature. You can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time,

as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The Moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us father and daughter for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeart Radio app, podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rolls Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss.

Listen to Casual Chaos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling Ravelry.

Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Reveory. That's good. This episode is This episode is Krista Bilton and Evan. And this was really fast.

Incredible. Oh, my God. I was so excited to have someone on that has had this experience of like, you know. I know. Sperm donors, having a 35 plus 50 plus siblings out there. They're just, they're continuously learning about and connecting. Right. So what are what everybody's about to hear.

is one of many stories, which I kind of want to get more of these people on. But of siblings that found out late when they were adults, that they had like 5,000 siblings. There's like 38 of them or something. Like there's 35 and counting. Actually, it's the name of the book. She wrote it's called Normal Family on Truth, Love, and How I Met My 35 Siblings. That's right. Yeah.

So they shared their wild story with that. us which we're not going to ruin so listen to this episode and yeah it's it's it's awesome i mean we get we get we get into like nature versus nurture you know because there's a similarity a through line of thread um well and forgiveness because a lot of these parents didn't tell their kids that they're like sperm donors no i know and the the sperm donor which you will listen to I mean, what a wild guy. Oh, my God. Hands in a little of them, sexy, crazy.

Don't spoil it. Don't spoil it. Forget it. Listen. All right. Here is Krista Bilton and Evan. Hi, guys. Hi.

How are you? So happy to be here. How's it going? We're so excited about this crazy story. What's going on? It's a crazy. story. So what's so crazy is you guys actually, you look alike. I mean, you're related, your siblings. You look alike. But you didn't know each other until you were how old?

I guess I was 32. Yeah. And you were 30. Now I'm 38. So 36? Yeah. We've known each other for what? Two years. Yeah, a little bit more. Yeah. Well, let's, yeah, we got to, yeah, because the context is necessary. Let's start, Crystal, let's start with you. Because you wrote the, you wrote the, you wrote the, you wrote the book. It came out, it came out this summer, right? Yeah, Evan, how come he didn't write the book? Huh? Don't put him on the spot, Oliver. You got to write a rival book

next year. This is only how he thinks. It's a completely different tale. It's going to challenge all proxy and all propies. Right. Well, oh, God, I don't even know where to start. This is like a start from the beginning. Yeah, start from the beginning. Yeah, why don't

you do that? Why don't you start from the very beginning of how you grew up. Okay. So, so I guess you, so in the early 80s, my mom was a lesbian who really wanted to start a family, but didn't know anyone else sort of in her community who had had kids. So she was, and this was just in the beginning of sperm banks and, you know, you know, just she was pretty much in the closet except with the people that knew, et cetera, et cetera. So she went through this comical manhunt that I document in the book

and ultimately my very handsome father walked into a hair salon in Beverly Hills and she looked at him and she said, oh, that's him. That's going to be the father of my children. And she took him out to lunch and offered him a couple thousand dollars to give her sperm so that she could then have me with a turkey baster. Like actual, an actual turkey baster. So I was actually conceived with an actual. market-bought turkey-based.

That's crazy because that is sort of the cliché joke. Like, you're going to get turkey-based, but you actually got turkey-based. I'm literally. Wow. And so, but then, so, but as my mother was conceiving me, she wanted to ensure that he had no STDs that he might pass on. So she took him to a tiny little place that was just starting up called the California Cryo Bank, which would ultimately go on to become one of the two largest, sperm banks in the world.

And while he was there getting his blood drawn for this woman who had paid him to do this, he saw a lineup of men and was like, who are they? And the nurse taking the blood was like, oh, those are our donors. And he realized that this was a way he could make a living. So my mom seeing this questioning made him swear he would never do this for anyone else. This stranger, she had just met in the hair salon. And he swore he wouldn't. And she went on to turn him into a dad figure after I was born

because she felt guilty that I didn't have a dad. So he was sort of a pay. How does someone convince someone to be a dad figure? I'm just trying to. Well, she paid him. I didn't realize how literal that was until when I was actually reporting out the book. But it turns out it was literally like he'd come for a birthday party. Right. Here's $100 bucks.

$100. Yeah. Wow. And he was, some context I should give is that my dad, so he was this very handsome sort of hippie who then had a hard time. And so he at that time was like, you know, in addition to having me and then, you know, he was doing strip of grams and he was a Chippendales dancer. And then later on would, you know, a playgirl model. And then, you know, sleep, you know, living from house to house of friends and ultimately would become homeless and have some like hard mental health challenges.

Oh, wow. He does not identify as homeless. We shouldn't ask it. Oh, okay. But we would identify him. We would identify that way. Okay. But anyways, so, so he secretly starts giving sperm a couple times a week for a decade.

Wow. Without my mom knowing. And so in my mid-20s, this big secret comes out. that we potentially have anywhere from several dozen to, you know, possible, hundreds. I mean, it was sold something like, I think they said like over 500 times. Yeah. Well, he donated 500 times. No, over, oh, in excess of that.

Oh, my God. Wow. How much is, how much do you get per pop? No, Oliver. I mean, I just got, I just got killed off my show. I think it's only a couple hundred bucks. I think it's only a couple hundred bucks per pop. But he was a bad demand.

Yeah. It was a very high demand. Well, and also each time you donate, it's multiple vials they can create out of that. Yeah. I mean, that is... Oh, my God. So you know of 35 siblings. Now we're in the low 40s.

It's a low 40s now. Yeah, it's low 40s. It's an ever-increasing... Like, he was a late member to the group. Yeah, I was like 37 or 38, and we've added some since then. And how did you guys find each other? Because of the uptick and ancestry... testing, DNA testing, it's now just random because you have to understand that like in the 80s and

early 90s when this was happening, it was a lot of heterosexual couples where there was infertility when they would come. And they were routinely advised not to tell their children that they were a product of a sperm donor. So when people find out the great majority just grew up knowing their mom and dad as their biological parents, and it's only by accidentally taking one of these tests that they realized that they had a sperm donor. There's an interesting seasonality to a two. So whenever ancestry or 23 meet does a sale, you know, about three months later, there's usually an uptick then in the siblings that'll come up on there.

I'm a case in point, but literally it's like literally about beginning of February each year, we add another two, three, four people. Wow. Yeah. I just recently looked at my DNA and it says I have like 1,500. relatives. Yeah, those things pop up and I just immediately erase them.

Which is crazy. It literally gives me anxiety. You have 8,000 new cousins. I'm like, I was like, who's this person in like... Back to 8,000 new have siblings. Siblings. I mean, but what a cool journey then to go on. You know, it's this like forever unraveling secret, you know?

When you realize that there might be multiple. Like, where was your mother's place in it? Where is your mother now? My mother lives up the street and we're very close and she sort of plays the role of grandma to my two kids. But that was a journey. It's, the book is really the sort of the story of me growing up with my crazy alcoholic, larger than life, pyramid scheming mom. And then her sort of sometimes very humorous, sometimes tragic attempt to like give me a sense of family. And so when she, when she found out about his, my dad's donations, even though they had never had a traditional relationship, like she and her mind had built it up to be like we were

mom, dad, me and my little sister. And so she thought that each and every single one of the discovered siblings was like, my father had, it was like an adulterate, like he had cheated on her each time. Like, she had a real mental breakdown. Right. Your mom sounds like a pretty amazing sort of eccentric woman, though, someone who is just sort of flies by the seat of her pants. I mean, the fact that she could just say, hey, you, I'm going to give you a couple grand and guys like,

okay, to do what, you know? I mean, that's pretty amazing. Yeah. He's just one of a kind. No, no, she really is one of a kind. And I mean, when you read the book, which obviously everyone should do, I mean, you start to see some of these stories and it truly does come out of a, If done as a movie, no one would believe

it kind of thing. Well, how many of these stories are true? You can't even write it. Right. Because, yeah. Fictionally, because it's just so crazy. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying.

Like, how much is true and how much do you think is embellishments? Like, are we, you know, because we have people in our life, you know, who half of the things that he says is, I think, true. And then half of it is like, what are you talking about? You know what I mean? That's the craziest thing. Everybody has the threats, though. Yes, my mother is a complete, unreliable narrator.

So wherever in the book, I wasn't able to verify something through other sources than I would use words, like allegedly or. Right. Yeah. Like my mother allegedly inspired Mick Jagger's lyric. You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need. But, like, I have no way of proving that. Okay, so this is funny. It's a very colorful story.

Well, here's what I read. Okay. I read this. When I read that part. of your story. I dated this girl for three years. Her name was Vanessa Shaw.

Her whole family is born into Nitrin Daishonan in Buddhism. Oh, fascinating. Namioho Rengekio. And so I was a part of that for a minute while I was dating her. Oh, fascinating. From her mother, I heard

that someone in this sect of Buddhism is the one who inspired that song. Because they were with Mc Jagger at some party or something like this. My mother. It was your mother was there, right? Yes.

Right. Your mom was there and they were just talking and basically through this Buddhism said, you know, look, you can't always get what you want, but you'll get what you need because that's sort of the philosophy of this niche transaction in Buddhism. And I've known that story or I don't know whether it's real or not, but is there a connection here in some crazy way? So that story has been told since like the 60s. Okay.

And my mother was very high up in that. organization. Like, she went to Japan seven times. That is crazy. She was the head of the women's division. She was like... What a weird... Oh, my God.

So she probably knows... Mr. Statenaga, who was the head thing back then. You know, I do Nishtra. I still... Nietzschean. I still chant. Yeah.

I chant on an airplane just like, I go through my beads, but I don't do the whole thing. I mean, I mean, it's, you know, my mom used to, we would be on the verge of homelessness chanting for, well, no. Yeah.

Yeah, I've been doing that chant since I was very young. Oh my God, that's so crazy. So this is sort of a Nietzscheum Deichshonen lore in a way. But your mom is the one who claims. She was then central to the, to all of that. Like all of the different rock stars that came in for my mother. Like Tina Turner was my mom, like, it was all, yeah. My mom was very, she was always in the center of all that stuff.

And you guys grew up in Los Angeles. Yeah. I mean, you guys have been really in the center of a lot of that stuff. No, no, but it's funny. I guarantee your mom knows like Larry Shaw and I forget Vanessa's mother. I know Larry, yeah. No, I think Larry Shaw, oh. Larry Shaw's old school.

Very Shaw is who I called to confirm this story. Oh, my God. That was my. So Vanessa Shaw's daughter, I was dated for three years. You know, she's an actor. She was like lived in our house. Yeah. Larry and then, God, what was her mother's name?

Well, the background, the background on that lyric is hilarious because they would tell everyone, all you have to do to get what you want is to chant this chant. And people were, you know, applying it to. And so my mother, Larry Shaw tells this amazing story. My mother and her girlfriends would get on their motorcycles and these miniskirts. And it was back when Sunset Strip was like car to car bumper to bumper. And they would, with their motorcycles, go in and out of traffic and be like, come over here. We have a chanting meeting. Follow us.

And like all the young men would just follow the girls in the miniskirts. to the chanting meeting, but it was their way of recruiting people into Nishan Vishan and Buddhism. But when they would get there, they would be doing the meeting and explaining how the chant worked, and a man would raise his hand,

and would be like, so I just have to chant to sleep with her, and then I'll get what I want. And that's how they came up with the line. You don't always get what you want, but you get what you need. So that was where my mother had come up with it. But then she was, yeah, with the Rolling Stones

for like a couple weeks. God. But she was gay. And I guess McJagger was coming on to her and that was her hilarious line back. Right. Allegedly. I added the alleges in there because I, you know.

I mean, maybe it's true. I think they should just, the stones should just confirm it. The thing is, we got to figure out how the real story is, but it's so funny that Larry and your mom. That's hilarious. That's insane. So, so you found out you were a donor baby in your 20s. I found out, yeah, so I have been told that my parents were best,

friends who had had a kid together. And then through a long and wild experience, it was on the front page of the Times, that my father was this anonymous donor coming forward and there were all these kids that he was meeting and that my mother discovered it by reading the

newspaper. Okay. Why did he decide to come forward? He needed the long story. I'm wondering like maybe we'll have to read the book, but basically he was sitting at a coffee shop in Venice. at that point, you know, living in his car.

And on the front page was this story, you know, hi, sister, nice to meet you are our father's donor 150. And he remembered that his number was donor 150. And he was like, oh, my God, that's crazy. I'm on the front page of the New York Times. So he called the people involved to be like, I am donor 150. So two years later, the New York Times followed him meeting those kids.

Does that make sense? Yeah. So, Evan, let's bring you into this now. So when did you find out that you were, give us some background on how you grew up first? Yeah. So my mom is heterosexual and she was married to my dad. And my dad had had two children before me. And then he had a vasectomy before he and my mom had ever met.

And it's obvious back in the 80s. And then my mom, when they got married, always wanted to have a child. and they weren't able to conceive. So she went through a sperm clinic. And then obviously when you go to one of these clicks, especially back then, there was only one person that hit all of these different criteria where it's like, okay, they need to be blonde.

They need to be this height. They need to have this SAT score. Whatever. And Jeffrey, I think that's why he was such a prolific donor. He's literally the only person that hit all these characteristics. And then I had a much, not similar to Christmas, but I had a real childhood as well. My father was like very abusive.

he was an alcoholic, whatever. Eventually, my parents divorced, and, you know, especially related to the alcoholism, my mom would be to know, like, hey, like, you are, you know, not, you were not conceived by him, right? And so I was told when I was about nine. So I, but I knew for a long time,

and I knew, like, I actually knew in my head that there were probably other siblings out there. I knew that there was probably our family out there, and I just had no interest in really looking all of this up for a long time. But you would fantasize about, Like who your biological father is. Because there's so many things that I am just very, very different from my mom's side of the family on that I knew that there had to be something coming from something, right?

Yeah. Like I look much more like Jeffrey. I have a lot of behaviors that are much more like Jeffrey. He's the spitting image of my dad. Really? If I show you pictures, you won't believe it. Yeah. Like, I'm like the less handsome version of Jeff.

But like in terms of like careers, like Jeff, like my, like my, my paternal great-grandfather, it's almost one-to-one, like all these different things, right? And then, so anyway, so you start to fantasize about some of these things like, oh, what was I actually getting? It was just a kind of genetic coincidence and everything. And I actually studied evolutionary biology. So this is obviously something that's always been in my brain. Amazing.

But the reason why I never really had an interest of looking into is because what I had figured, and also if you kind of go online, a lot of people, when they find out these things, it's like, oh, some guy donated once or twice when he was a college. And he has his own family and there's like one donor kid or there's maybe like one or two. And then people have this really awkward situation where they try to like insert themselves in that person's life. And that's not something I ever had any interest in. And I was like, I'm not, I didn't have the greatest like kind of family experience growing up. And it's like the last thing I wanted to do is go and insert myself into somebody else's.

Right. And then I don't really understand. I don't really remember what the thought process was, but it was literally like there was a sale for ancestry. And my wife's mom was adopted. And so she doesn't really know her whole family background. And we're like, why don't we just get a DNA test and we'll both kind of figure out it'll be an experience? And I knew that there was going to be some sort of siblings involved, right? Her, like the high probability there was.

And I just had no idea what level that this was going to be. And so we did this. And I actually completely forgot about doing the test, right? Because you did like, put your sliving in like December. Right. And then I just don't, yeah. it just know your art. And then I get a text message on

February 14th, on Valentine's Day of 2020, before the world went to shit, and it was from ancestry. They're like, oh, your results are online. And before I even get on there, all of a sudden, I have all these people adding me on social media accounts. Like,

our siblings are a busy bunch. I'm not funny. They don't see new sibling. They're like going to stocker mode. I'm not an influencer, celebrity so all of a sudden having a dozen people add me on it like it's very unusual right and i'm like what the i'm like what the f is going on here and i'm like so i go in and if you've ever gone on one of

these you know they kind of listed out like oh potentially sibling or they say sibling or first cousin and you just go down this list of all of a sudden it takes up the entire page and you start scrolling out it's literally the entire page and i have messages from multiple siblings and i think chris i think you were the first one to reach out and she was like i think you reached out to me No? I don't remember, I remember which way it was. So I spoke to you. And it was like within, I think it was within five or ten minutes of getting this text message from ancestry, then results are aligned that I was speaking to Chris on the phone. And I think the way you said it was, I think the way you said it was like, are you like somewhere comfortable? Are you saying now? And I was like, no, no, I already know the situation. I already know that I'm don't ever conceived.

Right. Like most people, it's a surprise, right? It's a big surprise. And it's like their whole world is like shaken. And for me, I'm like, I don't know. I already know. Just tell me what the situation is. I was going to hear. And in those five or ten minutes, I was a fan of saying, I'm like, wait, is this like a celebrity? Is this like, is this like some crazy situation?

Is this like a doctor that went rogue and like had like, you know, 30, 40 kids or whatever? And it was still a crazy thing, but it was just a completely different than what I'd ever expected. And then there aren't. And so one kind of peculiar thing is among the siblings, it's mostly women. And, you know, that's probably a bias of, like, who takes DNA tests. I think probably women take them work. I was one of the only, like, brothers in the group. And so obviously, I got messages.

Not only brother in the group, but he's the only Republican in the group. I'm the only, I'm like, the Republican brother. That's funny. And it's a genetic trait that the siblings like to argue. So within 30 minutes, I have people argue. I haven't said anything yet. Oh, my God. And I'm like, we'll be like, hey, what do you think about this?

What do you think about that? I'm like, all right, let's dial it back. Let's get to know each other. Let's pretend like we've known each other for it. I was very, I was very, I was very, careful. No, no, you were born in the ground, but. Wow, that is crazy. Oh, my God.

Okay, so. But was it, family drama up like 15 nauseous. Oh, my God, I can't. But, but what goes through your head when all of a sudden you, either of you are realizing that this isn't just an isolated incident. Now you've got potentially hundreds of siblings. I mean, is there a part of it that's exciting? It's, I mean, it's, how could it not be?

Yeah, right. Like, I grew up, so I have like a half brother and a half sibling, you know, from my dad's side, but I didn't grow up with them. So I didn't, so I grew up with the feeling of being an only child. So it's something I always wanted myself was to have a, a brother or a sister that I was like hanging out with and everything. Careful what you wish for.

You don't always get what you want, but you get what you need. No, no, I wanted all the siblings arguments and the fight. I wanted all of that, right? And it's something I never had. So I was like,

so you start fantasizing about these things in your head, right? And now, like, nothing ever happens how you think it's going to happen. But yeah, it was cool. So, like, I've gotten a chance to hang out with several siblings. Like, I don't.

You hung out with your cookie father. I hung out. Oh, I thought out with my cookie. I've smoked weed with my cookie father. Really? That's not a very Republican thing to do. What do you mean? All Republicans get high.

Well, okay, so here's the funny thing, though, about Jeffrey. Ms. McConnell's high all the time. I mean, our father is certifiably crazy. But what I was going to tell them was, you know, what's really, he's certified a bit crazy, except for when he smokes weed, he all of a sudden becomes super normal. Yeah.

Like, you could have a completely normal conversation. with him. He doesn't start talking about aliens or like interdimension. He'll stop doing that and he'll just be completely normal. Really? Yeah. What is your dad's I mean, is he, is he ill?

Actually clinically ill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He has a schizophrenia diagnosis. It's unclear where he falls between bipolar and that. But he's sort of got, you know, high levels of

paranoia. Right. But he's got, he's sweet, too. Like, he's not, he's like, you know, he lives, now he's living in India. It's a long story. But, um, well, so, I, wait. But he was homeless for most of my life growing up. But, but, but it's like, it's like, it's like a mini series.

But it's like, it also kind of goes in with this hippie spirituality thing. Like, it's not taking up natural resources. He, he, he, um, he's nocturnal. So he sleeps literally all day and then he's awake literally all night. where he's skewing animals. It's all very... Wow. What an interesting person.

Well, I mean, it's also like says so much about the brain and how the brain kind of creates... Yeah. But sometimes I always wonder, you know, what if we're the crazy ones? And what if the people who we see on the street who we deem to be sort of unstable are the ones who can see beyond anything that we can see

and they know more than we do? I always strangely think... ever going to be our father's physician. Well, I agree with you, you know, because the thing, at the end of day, like, so I'm a, you know, a type A person that did the whole, like, go to college, do your MBA, work and finance, blah, blah. And, you know, you think of Jeffrey, and he's somebody that came from a wealthy family, a male model, everything. And he voluntarily chose to do this. And I, he will not be very many people happier than him. He chooses to do that, and he would not be happy.

If you, like, Chris and I have tried to get him into a home, get him to a apartment, whatever. whatever, and that would, he would be unhappy in that situation. He prefers to be in the situation that he said. And it's, it definitely does make you kind of wonder, like, how much of what we desire is actually something that we want versus something that we feel like we need to do out of some sort of like, out of cultural, societal kind of thing. He has rose-colored glasses for how to look at it and I look at it a little differently. Right.

But I think it's a sweet perspective. No, no, but I don't. Yeah, go ahead. no it makes you wonder like i i certainly am not going to change the way i live based on how i see him living right because i don't want to live in a van i have a family um but it does make me kind of question myself sometimes when i'm like oh i need to do this i need to do that and this and it's like well this guy is completely happy and you know i guess the the most thing on that is there was a funny part so there was a documentary that was done that it was on sundance and

i think in some parts of it they tried to show him in a in my opinion they tried to show him in a more negative light than they could have. And in one of the parts, they basically kind of frame it. They're like, hey, you know, you came from the church family. You're a male mom. We had all this going on for you. And now you're living in a van. Like, they kind of put it to that to him.

And he goes, and he pauses and he goes, you know, well, biologically, I'd say I'm quite successful. And that kind of shows. That was a very crinchworthy moment for my mother, by the way. But, but like, but what is your, what is your emotional, uh, attachment or detachment from your father, you know what I mean? Because it sounds like you're... Both of you guys, it's both of you guys,

because it sounds like you're okay with him being whoever he is, but is there any sort of emotional, you know, connection or disconnection from him? Or like fear. I mean, he's like, you know, he's got mental illness. I mean, is that then become like something that you think about? Yeah, it's really complicated for me because I didn't grow up. I think that there's like a level of sort of,

detachment that you can have when you have the cycle when it's your sperm donor. But I grew up knowing him as my dad. And there's like a level of responsibility as his child and identifying him as my dad that like it makes it sometimes very hard for me to let go. And I can get caught up in a

psychological wheel of like how to fix it. And then of course like having kids, just like they have one little problem and you're like, oh my God, is it, you know. So it's, it is a, it, You can't, you know, there are parts of this that are genetic. He also had serious trauma that, you know, I think. And he also did a lot of really crazy hard drugs.

Like, you know, during my childhood, he got super addicted to speed. And like, and so that all has an impact on the brain as well. So, you know, it's complicated, for sure. I think everyone can relate to complicated families. Mm-hmm. Well, we are extremely honored to be sponsored by helix mattresses. We love our helix. I've been using my helix for a long, long, long, long, long, long time now.

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I mean, you probably knew before your other siblings knew. So in around 2005 is when the New York Times stuff started happening. And when my mother discovered it, she vowed she would never tell me in my little sister. I have a full little sister through my dad as well. She thought she was going to be able to keep it a secret forever because she just didn't want us to find out. But ultimately she had to tell us because I was at that time most likely dating my half-brother.

And so she had no choice. I want to get into that for a second. But so she told us, and that's sort of when, but she just told us that there were like a couple other kids potentially. She didn't really explain the magnitude of it. Did she do it just like that? There's a couple other kids, potentially. Maybe.

Okay, well, okay. So your mom knew that you were dating your half-brother? Or, how? She just, so she read the New York Times article, realized my father had been donating sperm for 10 years after I was born while sort of playing dad. And then through another crazy set of circumstances, was alerted to the fact that the boy I was.

seeing was probably one of those donor kids. Now, were you, like, dating, dating, dating? No way. She's asking, were you stooping in the Yiddish sense? You were stooping your brother? We don't know. And Ben, my mother told me this. So you have to understand that I'm processing,

okay, my dad wasn't really your best friend. You paid him to have me. And also, there are probably a lot of other siblings. And, oh, I have a date with one of them tonight. But you're not sure. And my mom's instructing me to, like, look closely at his hands and toes. Because that's really when you can tell. Oh, my God.

Well, who informed her of this? Your dad? No. You'll have to. It's such a long story that you've been talking about it. It's complicated. Oh, my God. But, uh, wow.

I mean, and then what were, what was going on in your mind at that moment? Did you, were you like, this has got to be a joke. I just can't be right. Yeah, it's got to be a, also just to, it. It felt, yes, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because if you have to understand that, like, and for most of the talk about this, but like, my life was already insane. Like we were, you know, my mom was involved in pyramid schemes where we were in these giant mansions and then we were homeless and then we were like, you know, many times over, we, she was drug addict, she was sober. So like, the idea that also my homeless father was this serial sperm donor and it was, it was just too much to, it was just too much. family at that point was already so complex because my mom had had all these girlfriends

and we'd have so many different family units. And like, so just I was like, I can't handle one more family member, let alone. Let alone my boyfriend being my brother. Let alone a brother, a brother, boyfriend. Has this subsequently been confirmed or do we still are in the gray area? It's a, it's a complicated situation. So I sort of left it open ended. call it gray area, right?

Call it gray area. Yeah. But you guys look alike. Is it gray, though? Is it gray though? Wait a minute. So, Jesus, how are you? I gave that person like a pseudonym in the book and et cetera, et cetera.

But you see, look, we all have our fucking crazy shit, right? But you, and again, we're just meeting. But you seem pretty good, right? You have a family of your own. You've dealt with a lot of this stuff, I'm sure, one way or another. or I don't know whether you've compartmentalized it or actually been through intensive therapy to sort of understand yourself.

But you seem to be thriving, I guess. I mean, given your circumstances, it's crazy that you're even a normal human being. My husband said that to me upon meeting my mother for the first time. But, yeah, I've done a lot of work. And I think so many people, like, I think part of the story was really like,

you never know what someone's going through as normal as things look on the outside. And like, I think that a lot of people can relate to having more challenging things than what they think everyone else is going through. And so I think part of the reason for writing the book was just to like

have people relate to that and see that you can yeah, overcome some of that generational stuff. Like he didn't have an easy, it was very different, but he had, you know, a pretty abusive situation. Right. A totally different path. can kind of like pick those patterns.

When did everybody decide to connect? So I learned about the siblings around 2007, and it was only a couple of years ago that I decided I wanted anything to do with them. So my initial psychological reaction was just like, I'm going to pretend, I'm going to compartmentalize this. And this isn't family. It's biology. And it's just one more weird thing about my weird crazy family. And then I purposely didn't do DNA tests. I stayed away from all that stuff.

And the siblings got the word. One of them reached out to me on Facebook right after I found out. And it was just too much for me. And so I basically was like, can you let everyone else know? I just don't want anything to do with this whole thing. So no one ever contacted me. As new siblings were added into the bunch, you know, they just sort of left me alone. And then one sister.

found out that she was donor conceived and we had both gone to this tiny art school in Italy that no one's ever heard of for classical painting and that was just such a weird bizarre. You both went? We both went a year after each other.

Holy shit. But like Renaissance painting of still lives. You know, this is like an obscure thing to go study at a school. It's not like we both studied at Penn State. Like no one's ever heard of the Florence Academy of Art and, you know, we had all the same friends in common.

And we, like, we were both married to a Brit, who was seven years older than us. And it was sort of like three identical strangers. And so I think that coincidence and then her reaching out before she, before she connected with the other group to, like, no, hey, don't reach out to Krista. I think that sort of cracked it all open. And then much like Evan, she was an only child and just so excited to have siblings. She was like, this is just so exciting. I can't believe.

This is like a lifetime movie. I can't believe, you know, this doesn't happen to real people. And I think that, like, at that moment in my life, I was more stable and happy. So I think I was more open to new connections. And then also just her enthusiasm made me realize, like, oh, my negative perspective on all of this was just a choice that I made a long time ago. And I could also choose to just see it as this positive, exciting thing. I'm curious about it. Well, it's actually brings me a question for both of you guys, just sort of.

sort of about this, this idea of nature versus nurture, you know what I mean? There's such a great, a whole half of you who, you know, you didn't know where you came from. And I mean, you were saying that sort of how your father informed a lot of sort of who you are, how you felt different from that, from your family. Do you guys analyze that at all? Or do you, I know you said you worry for your kids sometimes, meaning like, oh my God, I hope they're not nuts. But you know what I mean?

you guys think about that? I mean, so, like, in the most generic way, we actually do have a spreadsheet that has a lot of this information of, like, what your likes are. Are there any, like, allergies or any medicate? Like, and it'll blow your mind away, like, how many things that you think are unique about yourself that are not unique at all, right? It's like, oh, you like wild mushrooms on your pizza like this? It's like, okay, cool.

Yeah, all the symbols do. We all like that. It's like, okay, you all like marmal or something weird, like something you think, oh, I'm like the only person, no one else. It's like, yeah, yeah. That's a genetic thing. Everyone likes that. So you've done, you, you mean, you literally.

More absurd than that. It's like, oh, 90% of them have cats, not only have cats, but have them, like, in their profile picture. Have them in a way. In a what? Like, in their, like, in their profile picture. Oh, wow. Okay. Right.

They're like, like, you're like a cat. Cat clan. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a cat obsessed. Like, yeah. That's a jar. Pets in jeopardy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think every single person has a pet or close to it. Yeah. You know, I mean, there's so many of these things that you, and it's, I think I feel like it's more exacerbated because people grew up apart from each other. Because I think when you look at it, someone grows up with somebody else, they try to differentiate themselves in some way, right? You're like, okay, I'm the sibling who likes this.

I'm this person who likes that. And I think a lot of that disappears when you didn't grow up with each other. So then when you kind of discover it and you find out all those things that you thought were your unique personality trait, it's like, no. actually, that's what she inherited from Jeffrey. You know? Like the artistic interest or like the, yeah, so many, so many different things. Well, like, Hector and I hang out, like.

Hector's one of the other few brothers. One of the other few brothers. Male model who lives on an alpaca farm. Aalpaca farm, yeah. Yeah. It's like, the probability that has. Is everybody California? No, all over the country.

wealthy and poor, left and right, gay mom, single mom, heterosexual two-parent household. Like, it's really spread. They really price discriminated. They made sure when they sold it to the celebrity families, they made sure those people paid a lot of money. And then when other families that were impoverished paid, they're like, okay, we'll send you on dry ice and you can turkey base yourself. Really?

That's literally what happened. So it makes it, so your question was about like nature versus nurture and stuff, right? We truly had like the socioeconomic spread where you have. have children of billionaires and you have children of people in deep poverty in rural areas. And I think that when you look at, like, let's keep it really simple, look at their educational outcomes, almost no difference. Right. You have people with PhDs from Harvard that had very modest circumstances and you have ones that, again, come from billionaires. And I don't know, I've always been somebody that thought that, you know, nature has a lot more to do with it

than people think. And for me, this kind of confirmed it. But obviously, that's, I, That's not really like proof per se. That's just like evidence that I'm using to fulfill my already given idea. And it was the opposite. I always thought nature was way more and now think I give, sorry, I always thought nurture was way more. And I think after getting to know siblings, I think nature is just so like there's, there's no way around it.

It's a big part of it. Wow. And do you know every, do you, the people who you do know, the siblings that you do know of, do you know what their backgrounds are and have you dug deep into who they are and have you contacted everyone that you know of? Yeah, that was Mike or like have you guys all met now? Well, because a lot of it happened

has happened during COVID or post COVID, right? That like inhibited the travel for a lot of people for a few years, you know? But I mean, virtually I've met essentially close to everyone. Not quite a problem, but close to everyone virtually. And then in person, I think you've met obviously way more people with me. I've met six siblings in person.

I've met quite a few. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys all look alike? Yeah. I look more like my mother, but a huge batch of them look exactly like Jeffrey, my dad. Like, you look a lot like him.

My little sister that I grew up with, identical. Nicole and Kenzie. Yeah. Identical. Yeah. Like, because also, like, if you go on the site, they'll show you like what percentage you would, because it's not like, Like, you 50-50 got it from each parent.

Like, you got a little bit more or whatever. And a lot of us got a disprocortion amount from Jeffrey. So we really, really look alike. Especially, like, prominent characteristics, you know? So. Is there anyone, anyone, like, in jail? Like, was there any, like, is there any crazy shit? You know, siblings were like, oh, my God, this is nuts.

Well, we wouldn't know, I guess, right? Because how would they have taken a DNA test? I mean, certainly we're a kooky bunch. Yeah, yeah. It's not going to rag on it then I love them. No, no, no, of course. We have some great. It's very eccentric.

Yeah. Are there certain ones that you feel closer to than others? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like in any, like if you had a bunch of cousins, you know, you'd be drawn towards maybe certain ones that you had more in common with than others. Right. Oh, man. Proximity helps to.

And proximity has a lot to do with it. Like, he lives nearby. So we see each other more. That's all right. I also like you a lot. Yeah, that helps. Was it emotional? Because you did meet each other.

Like, you did have people at your house, right? And when that happened, like, the first time you actually saw a sibling in person other than your sister. And same thing for you, Evan. Like, how emotional was that? Especially for you, Evan, you didn't have siblings. Like, was it emotional? Was it like teary? Or was it kind of more weird?

I would say it was extremely and I didn't get teary-eyed but it was very positive and it was like it was like you had met somebody that you kind of you didn't know anything about them but you knew them already.

I don't know if that makes any sense. It probably doesn't but like when I met Krista like a lot of the mannerisms you had so a lot of us share a lot of really quirky mannerisms like I don't know like how to describe it like you hold a glass in a certain way when you laugh it kind of sounds in a certain way

Like, your smirk is a certain, you know, and all those things, especially when you didn't grow up with the person, you didn't try to not do it the same way as them. So there definitely felt like there was an, I remember like the whole interaction when I first met Krista was so vividly. And it was a really positive thing. And I had, you know, made sure, like, before I went to meet Krista, you know, I wanted to mentally align myself that I didn't get too invested in anything because the last thing that I wanted to do was like get really worked up and like, oh, my God, what if she doesn't like me?

What if I don't like? What do we have nothing in common? This was a huge waste of time. Yeah. You know? And I think, I guess maybe that was hopeful for me, but like, I think it was kind of unproductive because it ended up being this super positive experience and that I just never could have envisioned happening in my life.

How does Jeffrey feel about all of it now? You know, I know that he's in India, but like, is he sort of, you know, in his state of being like, it's almost like, it almost makes sense. He's sort of this wild man, this sort of free-spirited guy who now is. spread his seed and he's just part of the natural order, you know? I think that's how I see it. I mean, he, you know, like I wrote the book and it was like part of the destiny of the whole thing. That like, you know, everything is very mystical.

He did, like, my mom was the Nishrin Shoshu and he was, he did transcendental meditation really, really intensely. And also, well, I mean, he really did believe that this would happen one day. like he truly believes that one day that everyone was going to connect somehow. But when he was actually doing it, he was doing it for the money. Or was he, did he have a bigger... Correct.

Right. He was doing it for the... He was doing for the money. No, no, no. He's put a mystical spin on what was like a way to make money for his weed happen. Yeah, no, no, yeah.

He made money. A sideback thing is that he got the spin of seed. Right. It's like... There's like, I feel like, and I mean of this in the sweetest way, Right. But there is like this evolution. I feel like when siblings first discover our dad, Jeffrey,

sperm donor, there is like, there is just a bit of idealization, maybe. And then they're just like a coming down to reality. He's so sweet and there's so many sweet things. Right. Well, I think he was crazy. You watch a documentary. You know this is like a, I'm going to get canceled now, but this is a person that's not in the same mental space of a lot of us.

Yeah. You know that from the beginning. And I feel like, I feel like you think I'm like saying, like, be like, oh, I just was very realistic. Like I knew going into it, I'm like, I'm not going in meeting a person that, you know, did the traditional like, oh, I go to school and then I do this and then I have a family and one and a half kids and everything. Like, I knew this is going to be a person. It's unusual, you know. So I try to not, and because I didn't get mentally invested into it, when I go and I grab a coffee with them or whatever and he starts talking about aliens, I'm like, let's talk about aliens. Yeah.

You know, like, hey, let's talk about, like, interdimensional, like, creatures that are, like, trying to control. I'm like, let's just do it, you know. Let's, like, go in. Let's go there. Lean into it. Right. And then, like, yeah, like, you get those moments of, like, mental sobriety where you actually do get some nuggets where he, like, talks about, like, when he's, like, growing up or, like, you know. When he talks about the past, it's much more.

It's very, very lucid. Yeah. It's very, very lucid. And there are insights that he has. and like we were actually uh chris and i were just joking around like he's feels like it feels like he's in on the joke about himself sometimes right so we talked about how he's like in the aliens and everything and i remember this story so we were hanging out and um a gentleman came up to us and was like aggressively accosting like hey do you give us a cigarette and you know jeffrey's like no

i don't have a cigarette and guys like are you judging like being super aggressive you judge me like like you think smoking's bad and geoffrey just goes he's like no, no, it's actually really good for you. It's good for your lungs. It kind of builds it up, strives it and everything. When someone like Jeffrey says this, I actually think, I'm like, and so he goes away and I'm like, okay, so like, do you actually believe that? And he's like, yeah, of course.

And I'm like, are you stupid? And I'm like, he's like, obviously it's bad for you. Like, it's this moment of like complete lucidity. And I was like, how am I supposed to know? You just went off about interdimensional reptiles and stuff. And now you're telling me don't smoke. Like, come on. How am I supposed to know which part is the crazy?

Is he aware of himself, though? I mean, it's like... I mean, we have to put our phones away when we spend time with him because the FBI or the government might be, like, listening to the conversation. Okay. How did he get to India?

Does he have the money to fly there? Like, he's still as dough? He inherited a nice chunk that he ran through in a year. And now, but he decided... And so he went to India once, came back, and now decided he really wanted to go to India again. So, yeah.

My sister and I went to go say goodbye to him, but like he'd been talking about going to India for like 30 years and never done it. So we literally just thought we were doing a pretend goodbye for his sake because he would just be in the same place tomorrow. But as he was describing like what he was doing to prep, he had like turned all of his money that he'd just inherited into gold because, you know, currency was about to collapse. There was going to be this huge false flag attack on the United States. So we had to get to India. But then he showed me like the wig he had just bought. to disguise himself on the airplane. Oh, my God.

Oh, really? Yeah, but he paid. And then he paid because he needs to bring all of his animals because those are his children, his birds, his cats, the whole thing. You need to bring them to India. And that was like, like, this is the areas where he's lucid. It's like, how did he get through the paperwork

of being able to bring animals? Like, I have no idea. He can't even do like the most basic. He brought birds to India? Well, think about this, right? Because it's like, it was something that like a foreigner couldn't bring an animal. So he paid it. He paid a family.

an Indian family to travel with him. Wow. I have people that have each of the animals. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is. Well, he's what an interesting man because you're right.

It's like these lucid moments where he's able to sort of function at a very high level. Yeah. Organizing something like that. But at the same time, you know, there's aliens. I feel like your father might be on to something. Maybe we don't throw the baby out with the bath. Maybe. Maybe.

This is like a, it's becoming common. place that this is all happening with with with all these DNA things when you think about it that makes sense right because it's like how many if a woman is looking for a sperm donor you know they're going to check the sum of boxes right they're going to it's going to be height it's going to be intelligence it's going to whatever and there ends up only being a certain number of people right that fit all those characteristics especially but back at that time as well there were a couple factors no one ever thought people would find out right never fathom DNA testing.

So everyone was just doing this without thinking through any of them. Are there more regulations? Can you imagine having a kid with someone or falling in love with someone, like really being in love and then finding out that it's your brother or sister? Well, Chris that almost happened.

I mean, what happened? Yeah, we didn't end this. Hold on. What happened? Was it like, did it get weird or was it sad? Or was like, what was the... It was super.

weird. It was also compounded by the fact that this person had a very close relationship to the father that had raised them. And I didn't want to be the person to shatter that relationship by like saying that there was possibly a lie at the heart, like, that hadn't been told. So not only did I have to like deal with it psychologically and obviously break up with the person, but then also I couldn't process it with him, which would have been the most therapeutic thing there was. Oh, my God. It's like,

I didn't want to be the one with me. What's wrong? Like, well, I'm your sister. It's not the worst

ever. It's not the worst lifetime. It is. It's so crazy. And no, there's not more regulation now.

That's one of the bizarre part. So there's still no regular. It's all self-regulated. It is. So a sperm baker tell you,

we'll retire a donor after 30 pregnancies. But there's like no... Five, they usually tell them five. I think that's worth it. Yeah. I would have told everybody five. And like there was one family that paid a very, very large amount of money. One of our siblings to buy all of the samples remaining and there have still been siblings, you know.

After that person. Oh, wow. Because they're just like, sure. We'll throw it all that. So you have like siblings who are... Each file is worth money. Right. I'm fascinated.

Like, I want to know everybody. I want to, I weirdly want to become Jeffrey? I don't know. I like, I want to like donate now. You know what? I think there is some weird male urge. Yeah. It's just like megalomaniac and sanity.

Spreading and multiply. No, I know. You know, I have a few more questions. Then we'll get out of here. But wondering about your connection as siblings. Like, is it so much based on this. moment and this experience? Or have you been able to get past all that now?

Now you're just homies and your siblings and your friends and you love each other. Or is it still really rooted in this story? As far as your conversations go. That's totally that. And we would, I mean, I don't want to speak for you, but I feel like it's just fun to hang out. It's super fun to hang out. I mean, and what I would say is, is like, I hang out with all my siblings in different kind of ways, right? Like, we have Hector, and for the longest time,

I don't know, Hector really didn't talk to it, really, any of their siblings. That's the one that had the Mexican heritage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, all we would, like, get together and we would watch MMA and just bullshit for hours. Yeah. And we never, we never even really talked about the whole sibling thing. I think we, we... That's also just, like, men. But, but, like, literally...

I was just saying, it's very male. You're like, let's not process anything. Right. Right. You're not talking about something. You think we love it. We're like best friend with the alpacas. We were with the dog.

Like, we did all the shit. We did, we probably did this like over a dozen times before we ever even spoke about sibling or Jeffrey or anything. Right. Is he a socialist? Oh, he's actually a socialist? Yeah. Yeah, of course.

He's actually a super little bit. I knew it. I had a feeling. Well, he's like an alpaca farm. He's like. He's like. It's like. But then I have, there's another sister who's like not as close.

with everybody, but she and I, we just, we share political memes every day. That's all we do. We just talk about politics stuff. And it's like, because she's like, conservative and she's like, I think she's the only other conservative, not the only one of the only other ones in a group. And it's like, you know, we all have our own thing.

And then Chris and I, like, I had. Well, we argued about politics. We started politics. First of our relationship. Oh, really. But I haven't. Thoughtway, because he's like really informed and intelligent. And I'm like, I'd like to hear the other side.

Yeah. And it might still make me angry. but it's like providing me, it's like sharpening my views a little bit because I have to like really well that that was you know it was peak

everyone was fighting about this because Trump was in office it was like peak family fighting over this test. Now we don't talk about that as no no well I mean I think one of the things that change those right like I have a 19 month ago

and I feel like that that's like it's like kind of weird where like that's something now you really have someone to relate to it's like something you can really talk to about that kind of thing, stuck with. That's so nice. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's really moved past just the Jeffrey story.

Obviously, that's always an underlying current of like joking around like, oh, are we doing, are we both going through this thing as a Jeffrey? Are we doing this as Jeffrey? Like, are our kids having this tree? Because that's a little thing, but it's kind of like in a way, a joke or like a kind of thing that you kind of like bond over versus being like the core reason for why you are like hang out with each other or talking with each other, right? Like, at the end of the day, look, we live in L.A.

We have huge friend circles. We could never spend a day together and have, you know, everything to do. Like, we choose to hang out with each other because we want to. Right. You know, it's a voluntary, when you have all these other options, right? And I think that that's one of the great things about once you become an adult, you get to set the standard of what your relationship to your family is. And it's been really empowering to have all these siblings now.

And I can foster this relationship and everything. Yeah. It's really fun. Do people come to you now in similar situations, kind of seeking? Like, do you get a lot of people that, like, are sharing their stories with you, Krista? I get a lot. I wouldn't say just, you know, there are like batches of people. Like, I get a lot of, you know, random emails and messages now from people that are, yeah,

that have new donor, you know, realize they were donor conceived and they're just meaning their siblings and the book helped them to process it. But also there's like a whole other cohort of people that just came from like either alcoholic or dysfunctional families. And they're like, wow, I didn't realize how much I was impacted by my mom's alcoholism. Or like, oh, wow, I never told anyone that my dad has mental illness. And this is how, like, and it was just so nice to like hear an open story about that. So there's a whole bunch.

I mean, I think that's just memoir in general, why I love it so much. Yeah. How old are your kids? Five and seven. And 19. And then what about the five and seven? Who's, you know, grandpa? You know what I mean?

Like, is Jeffrey going to play any part in their life? I wanted them to meet him. And so we met on like a park play set with my older son. Who's sort of like at this point, he's like, oh, hi, auntie. You know, he's like meeting a new aunt or uncle often. And he was so little that I don't even think he attached a lot. to grandpa, but I wanted him to meet him

and I wanted to give my dad the opportunity to meet him. But my dad was so uncomfortable. He just kind of didn't know what to do and like he... He's very shy. He's very shot. And so he wound up, like,

seeing a dog pass by that belonged to someone else. And then he just, like, was like, you know, he can interact with animals way better than human beings. Yeah. Interesting. So... Your guys' family reunions

would be like 300 people. Like 3,000. Like, all the cousins. Like, in about 20 years, it's going to be insane. Yeah, like you just rent out like Staples Center. Okay. It's to the point where I can't remember names. Oh, I'm sure.

Yeah. So what would be the silver lining of everything that's come out of this for both of you? Oh, I don't know. Wait, go ahead. You go. Well, you know, I had no, like, I had no idea which I had no idea which I expect. And my whole concept, the whole reason why I never even took a DNA test, even though essentially my entire life I've known about this whole thing, was that I only had native

expectations. And I only had expectations that I was either going to be disappointed or I was going to disrupt somebody else's life and everything. And that couldn't be further from the truth, right? I've developed a bunch of really great relationships and people that I would have never, probably never had a chance to meet. And it's honestly, it made me. It made me, It was a, it's actually a decision factor in my own family of whether or not we're going to have, you know, other children is because how positive this whole experience has been getting me to sibling. And it's something I always wanted, but I was kind of afraid of, you know, especially didn't want to do it under a circumstance that I was like a person invading someone else's family and everything. And I don't know. Everything about something really positive.

Good. And is Jeffrey like a father, a father figure there? No, obviously not, right? But I didn't have that expectation going into it. you know, but is Chris the sister? Probably, you know, is Hector the brother?

Yeah, probably. You know, and all my other siblings, yeah, like, they're all, they're all really interesting people, and it's,

it's giving me an area of my life, a lot of fulfillment that I never expected. Is Hector the hottest sibling? I feel like Hector's pretty hot. He's a pretty handsome dude. He's a pretty handsome dude. He's like, he's like,

he's the Mexican, I'm not a male model. Like, there's, there's loads, right? Like, I just feel like Hector's,

like this dark flowy hair like hot running with alpacas it's a like I remember like people who show you siblings remember there are certain siblings where people like

damn like wait that's her sister great oh that's your brother I'm like okay hey stop stop what about you Krista yeah

I think that I think that was beautiful like I think it's yeah seeing things in a positive light and like being curious rather than putting all those judgments on it would definitely be one aspect of it. And then I think, you know, everyone has dysfunction in their family in some way.

And I think feeling less shame about that and being more open. And you just sort of realize that how much more universal some of those feelings and experiences are, even if the details are different. Yeah. I mean, this whole thing, I'm very open with what I meet people telling people about those story and everything. Like when someone says, oh, do you have a brother or sister? I'd say, yeah, I have about like 40. And I feel very comfortable telling people about it.

And what I've noticed is, is like when you're really open about like personal, I mean, I'm not suggesting people start oversharing for whatever, but like it makes other people feel comfortable sharing their own experiences that maybe before they, like I can't tell you how many people I've had tell me like, oh, hey, actually, you know,

I'm either adopted or I'm donor conceived or whatever. And it's like, oh, this is something. Like, they've kept, like, inside of them, like, their entire lives. They've never felt comfortable talking about it, you know? I don't know. For me, it's like, I guess, a form of therapy. And, like, it seems like that's like for a lot. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. All right. Let's do the speed round. Should we do your speed round? Sure. Okay, you guys.

First impression of the other. This is a, this is going to be a good one. Just in general. Smart. Trying to psychoanalyze me. Oh, my God. Okay, one word to describe your relationship now. Stimulating.

That's a really good one. Stimulating. You can't copy me. Can't copy. That's bullshit, dude. Just bullshit. Okay. I don't.

I think this is too feeling. There's a lot of words. There's a lot of words you could use. Just say MMA. Just what kind of? I don't know. No, it's very loving. I've, you know.

Aw, sweet. Yes. There it is. Okay. The thing you have most in common. We're getting to charge our phones. We're very forgetful. I'd say, like,

like intellectually engaged. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we're curious about things. Yeah. Curious? One word to describe your childhood. Colorful

That's a fun word to describe it Tough dysfunctional You need to write a book too I know You and Hector It'd be cathartic You and Hector should write a book

Yeah like side by sides Or like Who are you closest in age to Well there's like I think six of us All are like born the same year That's crazy. Anyone have the same birthday? Yeah, there's twins.

There's twins? There's twins? Yeah. Wow. I actually went to a school with someone that's married to one of our siblings. Wait, wait. What? I went to school with someone who's married.

Oh my God, that's so weird. It's so crazy. This could go on forever. It will go on forever. It will go on forever and ever. Funny because they're, like, recently I went to lunch with someone who knows the sister I grew up with and was asking if he could. like how to get in with her on a date or something.

And I was like, you know, I don't think that's going to work out for you. But I do have like 20 other ones. Right. You should start a dating service. That would be great. Don't look closer enough. You know, I'm not right. Date my siblings.

Last question. What is one quality of your sibling that you wish that you had more of for yourself? Yeah. Your thoughtfulness. Oh. Um, you're, you have a great memory for facts, and it makes arguing you seem very difficult. So I wish that I also have the same memory.

That's a good one. That was the easiest one, by the way. I feel like I screwed up earlier in a laying around, but like, yeah, your thoughtfulness is like, I'm just very very jealous of it, to be honest. Like, I want to be like the back here and everybody. There's still time. Oh. That's very thoughtful.

Yeah, that's very sweet. Thank you. Well, you guys, this was amazing. Really fascinating. So fun. It was so fun and wild. And I can't believe how crazy your life has been, Krista. I mean, Evan, I would look forward to knowing more about yours.

But, I mean, amazing that you've come through all of that and that you're here and having fun and talking about all of this and, like, laughing with your brother, newfound brother. It's pretty incredible. Yeah, it is. It is pretty amazing. Thank you. Yeah. and we had a dad who kind of left for a little bit and I got all fucked up.

You have, you, you, you, you have had a lot more issues than me. It puts your problems in perspective. I know, I don't know what's wrong with me. But thank you so much. This was so fun. So fun. Really, thank you. Thank you guys.

I really appreciate, yeah. Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Allison Bresnick. Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review. This show is powered by Simplecast. I'm Jorge Ramos.

And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists and activists. to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having as father and daughter for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judez. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.

This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. there will be an occasional text one way or the other from me to Ariana maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me I think the last time I talked to Tom it was like congrats on America's Got Talent This is a combo you don't want to miss

Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts It may look different but native culture is alive My name is Nicole Garcia And on Burn Sage Burn Bridges We aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first native comic bookshop.

Explore his story along with many other native stories on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.