Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - I Don't Even Know Why I'm Crying (An Email Episode)

Episode Date: July 1, 2021

Kate and Oliver sit down for another email episode. They talk about everything from manifestation to Tina Turner to thank you notes and more. If you want to share your story, write us at [e-mail] Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by Olive & June (www.oliveandjune.com PROMO CODE: Sibling) Wondrium (www.wondrium.com/sibling) Policygenius (www.policygenius.com) and Pete & Gerry's (www.peteandgerrys.com/SIBLING)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.

So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature. You can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice.

Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley.

And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez, and in the new season of The Over Comfort Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life?

Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcomper Podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson.

We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling rivalry. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling, revelry. That's good.

Are you okay, Ollie? I hate my dogs. Okay, because I just want to tell everybody that's listening that Oliver just looks so, like you're annoyed, you're frustrated. You feel like, it's like, it's like, there's like a look on your face that's like something's wrong. I just, I'm tired of my dogs. I almost want to take a picture of what Donut did to my backhouse because it's like such a great example of, like, the dog you never want. Except then there's these moments where he, like, oh, he's cute and he's great.

and he's a bulldog and he's so funny and he's hysterical and right but no but but yeah back to what you're saying i get i'm just talking about how there's a sense of sometimes of entitlement yeah uh when people are looking to get a job and like i don't know what i don't know what that feels like because even now in my career i'm still like i'll still work for a job you know i'll still audition i'll still show up and do whatever I need to do if I want to do something, I put everything into it. I have no ego about it. You know what I mean? Like, if you want anything, you have to go for it, which means you need to follow up, the importance of following up. Like, if you're going to interview with someone, if you're going to audition with someone, like there's something that

is a wonderful thing when you can call someone and say, hey, what a blast. Thank you for taking the time to see me audition. Thank you for taking the time for this interview. And I really hope that it works out. If not, I hope something down the line can. And you know what I mean? Like it goes such a long way. Oh, for sure.

I mean, even just from a strategic standpoint, forget about whether you are believing it or not. Just strategically, it's a good thing to do. You know, it's like, hey, this was great. You stay in their minds and relating it back. to Allison and her trying to find an intern, yeah, I mean, it's these kids, these college kids, I guess they just don't really give much of a shit, I guess. Maybe it's a generational thing, I mean.

But no, but it's interesting that you just said that, Ollie, because you're like, it's a good strategy. And I think when it comes to manifestation, it's not about strategy. It's about what you're putting into practice as a lot. as a life practice without expecting outcome. Mm-hmm. Like, manifestation only occurs when the outcome is about what you're putting out, not what you're getting back. Does that make sense?

Like, I believe that I manifested, not because I expected an outcome, I manifested because I literally just put it out. And in my mind, if it's not that, it's this. If it's not going to be this, it's going to be something over here. Like, manifestation doesn't necessarily happen the way you have an expectation for it to happen or how you can strategize or calculate it. It's more like how you... It's honestly, it's the foundation of the Nishrin Buddhism, right?

Nitrin Daishonan, Nam yo-horenguehengue, that I've been doing that your ex-girlfriend, I remember she was the first one that I knew who did it. And then one of my trainers, Nicole did it. And then I started doing it. And I've always been doing it in and out of doing that most of my. Do you just do the chance or do you do the actual book? I do the whole thing. I do the prayer.

I do the chant. I chant. And then I meditate. But I always go back to it because there's something about that energy of manifestation that I appreciate. And sometimes it becomes really materialistic for people, and that's where I think it doesn't work. That's, it's funny you say that, because that's one of the reasons why I stopped,

because I would go to these meetings. I was, like, kind of deep into it. And these people would be like, if you want a new car, just say numb your whole Rengeke. I'm like, this seems weird. I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. That's not the essence of it.

No, but that's not the essence of it. I mean, if you read, if you read a lot of the quotes of the, of what's, his name then. I used to, I had the whole thing memorized back in the day. I knew, I knew the whole book by heart. That's so great. Um, okay, so, so co-gakai. Yeah, Soko-gakai international. Man, that was such a big part of my life for a while. It's so weird. You know, I watched the documentary, Tina, which, by the way. If anyone hasn't seen that, please watch it.

Well, she's like one of, she's like my hero, you know, always. She's so bad ass. She's crazy. She is so, so badass. She's such a rock star. And you don't realize, like, the thing I love about Tina Turner so much is her struggle was so real. And it just, and forever, how about being Tina Turner? I can Tina, everything that she went through, and then going 15 years,

and she couldn't get, she couldn't get a, how about the recognition, hold on a second, I hope nobody takes this personally, but I mean what I'm about to say, okay, don't take it personally, you should just be accountable to this. The fact that a record label or any record label executive was like, I don't believe in Tina Turner as an artist is everything that's wrong with any industry that doesn't understand And, like, when you're too, like, caught up in your algorithm or your slates or your thing, you lose sight of the artist. And it took, it took these, it took these two amazing cheerleaders for her, one inside of the, of the record company, who literally, like, begged. And her manager to say, she's a, she's a star.

she's a light she's a like how how can we not bring Tina Turner back into the like into the front of like you know she needs to be playing stadiums oh the story just kills me but I loved about Tina is that she was a rock star and she knew it she's like I'm not I'm not a I'm not everything that anybody wanted her to be a pop star or this like she was a rock star and when you song or perform you there's nobody better like there's no better female rock star she's just fucking all fire she's fire it's crazy it was that was a really great documentary i'm glad i'm glad you i'm glad you saw it because i watched it a while ago and i was thinking about you that how much you would love that documentary but the thing is is there's this misconception that with

fame that it wasn't and this i mean it's for anybody that it's not worked for like that with the success of like you know anybody that for some reason it all just comes easily because money buys you success it's like no no that's not how any of this any of that works you know and that's such a great story that i really never really understood about tina turner that that part of her life her her 30s and 40s. I mean, her hit record happened, like, wasn't it in her late, mid to late 40s? She was like 50, and she was playing the stadiums. I mean, that was just, oh, and then seeing her, like, in her home now with her husband,

the story with, I just, that whole thing. I don't even know why we got onto this, but. Because of her Buddhism. Like, that's how she came out of Aik, basically. That's how she found her strength to sort of separate and say, I'm my own woman. Like, fuck off. Right. I'm me.

Yeah. And that was because of Nichendai Shonan Buddhism, Namioo, basically. So when I watched that, that's where, that's what that was. When I watched that, I then, it was like a reminder to me, oh, I should, I should start chanting again. Yeah. And I did. I still do on airplanes. Like, when I take off, like, I go through my beads and go through Namiorengi Kyo, but I don't do the

actual practice anymore. I remember when I was going through a really hard time in love and it sort felt like that thing of, you know what, I guess a lot of women might relate to this, but sort of you come out of something that doesn't feel good. Then you try to like reevaluate and sometimes you go and you look around and you try to find, you know, a source of validation through, you know, any kind of male adoration or flirtation. And then you like kind of start dating and you're always disappointed. There's always somebody like rejecting you or kind of feeling like it should be something else. And you're going through the sort of trying to figure out like how to get your feet back on the ground after having a hard relationship. And that's the first time I started with

the Nishrin Buddhism. And I have to say it calmed all of that down for me because it was sort of like being able to know that I was what I was putting out as I was meditating as I was chanting about love was about the best love, not necessarily what was like there at the time or what was sort of percolating, but like trusting that it would find its way, you know. It didn't work for a couple, for many years. No, but you know, but the point of it is that, And as you're doing that, it's sort of like the love that you find and that you're really manifesting is in yourself and for yourself and feeling good in yourself and realizing that what you were actually asking for, I had nothing to do with that. It had to do with feeling love for yourself, things like that that I love about.

I like that it was active. You know, I mean, I'm meditating more than I have in a minute now. And it's not easy. You have good days, bad days, good meditations, bad meditation. But you're quiet. Yes, you can listen to something. But what's nice about chanting is the active nature of it, the droning, the trance-like state that you can almost put yourself in after, you know, a few minutes. And I like that.

You know, it's it's a proactive meditation in a sense. I have to take a picture of my altar because I also have. It's like that's exactly how I feel about it. It's like I chant and then I sit. and then I actually pull cards. I have like all these different cards and I'll like feel different cards. Like I've goddess cards. I have spirit animal cards.

I have my tarot cards. And I start pulling from things to, you know, kind of then I kind of sort of ask to receive what the message is for the day or for a particular situation. It's fun. You can make it fun. Yeah. No, I know. Yeah. Well, that's, you know, you're.

letting your intuition take over too. We're in a Saturn Mercury I told you till October. How has that been for you so far? It's been amazing. Has it? Good. Good. Yeah, it's been great. I feel great. I feel great. Thanks for asking. Yeah, I'm on top

of the world. Yeah. Have you been reflecting? Reflecting properly? Oh, fuck. You've been going through your reflections? Yeah, no. I been reflecting on it's too negative i don't want to get into negative space i it's just in the quest to figure out what is wrong you realize and it's no fault of the doctors because they have a thousand

patients but no one really gives a shit you know what i mean and i understand it because how can they be so attentive to each patient right take my sweating and whatever the fuck it is that i'm going through. No one really gives a shit. They're going to give you a little da-p-p-pup-p-pup-pup and but you have to care for yourself. You have to be proactive in pushing

them to say, no, no, no, no, no. I want this, I want this, I want this. I don't care if you say no. We're going to, he's like Dr. House. You mean Hugh Lorry? Yeah. I've been trying to DM

Hugh Lurie on Instagram. Now I'm going to do it I got to do it I got to do it I texted you this morning like a sort of a half text because I just said Dr.

is and I literally like sent it by accident what does it what does it say he's a doctor I might yeah

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I can do the long one. Yeah, yeah. So I tried to pre-read some of these just so I could get the emotion out. Let's see if it worked. Hi, Caden Oliver. I don't usually reach out like this, but I just had to tell you how much I love Lisa Genova.

That's up. And how great it was to listen to her on your podcast. my sweet mother had Alzheimer's, and there were days when I felt like I was the one losing my mind. There was so much I wasn't prepared for and did not understand. After a few years in, I came across her amazing book, Still Alice. It completely changed the way I interacted with my mom because the story was told from the person with a disease perspective. It gave me insight to what my mother had been going through. That in turn helped me help her. It was a nine-year journey with my mom but through it all i relied on what i learned from that book a few years ago i

started an alzheimer's caregiver support group on facebook and when a new member joins the first thing i do is recommend they read still alice because i learned that the disease will test the patients of even the best of us so learning to understand and being able to empathize with your loved one is crucial so thank you for having such an important conversation on your podcast peace and love georgia oh georgia i know i mean I, God, Alzheimer's is such a terrible disease. And, you know, it's like, what do you think about? And, yeah, Lisa was awesome. I mean, she, you know, and I love that she does fiction,

those are, you know, still Alice is a fictional book, but then she just wrote her nonfiction, which is what we had her on to sort of talk about. But, but yeah, I mean, I have, you know, friends who've gone through it with their parents who have either had early set alzheimer's or even later in their life and it's just so hard i mean it's so hard to to to it's for everyone i think to experience yeah no that was i i love that podcast you know and it's funny because she talks about hydration and water yeah you know for your brain and it's funny

because it's just weirdly popping up in my news feeds and whatever I don't know why, but this sort of hydration for your brain is crucial for so many things. Mm-hmm. You know. Mm-hmm. And I need more of it, honestly. I got to drink more water. You need to nose breathe, too.

Okay. Thank you, Georgia for writing that. Thank you, Georgia. We're sorry about your mama. And, by the way, amazing things. And while starting a caregiver support group is so nice, too. Yes, exactly. Yeah, I mean, I think at the end of all of this, I was watching, we're here on Netflix.

Do you know what that is? It's the drag show that they bring into these towns. I was watching it and there was this moment where I'm like, all anybody is looking for literally in life is to be. loved and supported like it's like it's like the basic need and and all conflict and all pain and suffering all comes from not feeling loved or supported it's just crazy it's just it's just like and and something becomes such you you see it it's such an easy thing to see and such a hard thing for people to do but in a situation like this to have like for people who are going through it through Alzheimer's with a parent or starting the process of knowing that you know they are

kind of infected and inflicted such a note a nice thing to do georgia to start that group um okay hi kate and oliver my name is wendy i have been listening to your podcast since the very beginning. Ever since finding almost famous in my teens, I've been inspired by the character Penny Lane, which led me to the real loving person you are, Kate. I have a vision board with inspiration from you because I want that energy you give off and love for life and family in my own life. Oliver, you remind me so much of my brother who I'm constantly chasing. your laugh and natural humor bonds everyone together in the room and is exactly what I love about my brother, Brad, and wish I had. Also, we can't talk about our love for our family without choking

up and our voice cracking. No one in our family can. That's like us. That's so funny. It's a funny sketch. It's a funny like sketch of some kind where you have a family who's just highly emotional, hyper-emotional family. They can barely get through a family dinner without crying, all of them. That's like our family. I mean, have we ever gone through Thanksgiving without like everyone crying at some point? No, no. And then the best is when new people come to our Thanksgiving and like they see it and then

they're like, they're like the worst. They're like, oh my God, they've been cried in years. And they're like... No, I know. They just feel an obligate. They're like, oh, shit, it's coming around to me. I have to do what I'm thankful for. Oh, fuck.

I'm going to cry now. So, no one in our family can. We say I love you every time we hang up the phone or leave each other. When we leave each other, it's comical how many times we hug and say, I love you on the way to the car. I just turned 39 this week and my brother will be 50. on June 2nd. That sounds crazy to say because I still feel 20-ish, so do I. And he hasn't aged since he was 30.

Same with me. My brother and I are 11 years apart, and our family is super close. Our parents have been married for 52 going on 53 years. I'm the baby, and for as long as I can remember, I've been chasing my brother or waiting on him to come home. I was seven when he went to college in Atlanta, two hours away from my hometown in Columbus, Georgia. I thought he would move back home when he graduated, but he didn't.

I remember him coming home and coming up to my room after graduation. Oh, you're going to cry now? Oh, wow. Oh, finally, it's you and not me. I don't even know I'm crying. I think it's just because there's so much love here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. this should totally be a sketch i know i know like it's nothing i'm like not even crying over

anything i remember him coming home and coming up to my room after graduation and telling me he was moving to greenville greenville south carolina and we both cried and when i was on an adult when i was an adult on a family vacation at the beach uh he told my mom and dad and i he was moving to Thailand for three years. And me and mom cried in the hotel room. He was supposed to stay three years and stayed seven. I love his love for adventure and crazy ideas. But I also only remember the feeling of missing him all the time, like I've gotten the short end of the stick with a sibling. I feel like an only child when he is away. And when he is home for the holidays or visits, that is when I feel everything is as it should be. We all laugh and are happy. I've followed his love of

of music and concerts and bands he has exposed me to because they make me feel like I have a connection when he isn't there. My brother lives in Bangkok, Thailand now with my sister-in-law and niece. They moved three years ago back to Thailand from Greenville, South Carolina. And we talked about how nice it would be when he moves back if we all lived in the same city. Well, in 2019, I was listening to your Thanksgiving episode in my kitchen on the counter, and I was laughing and kept thinking, how funny, we just talking about Thanksgiving. that's yeah i know that's so funny that was like that thanksgiving um when i start crying again i don't know why um and i was laughing and kept thinking how much i feel like kate and how much

oliver reminds me of my brother with the singing and laughing and i thought you know what i want to somehow live near my brother i don't want to only see him during the holidays i wrote my goal and vision on a piece of paper and hit it behind something else pinned on my vision board. I don't know why I hit it. I had no idea how it would happen, but the universe made its move. And my job asked me if I wanted to move in the middle of a pandemic in 2020 to Greenville. I decided to make it happen. I sold my house. I loved. And my husband, our beautiful six-year-old daughter, Savannah, and our golden retriever move to Greenville for a chance of a new adventure. My hidden agenda to be near Brad finally when he comes home.

We moved away from all security and my parents who I used to see daily for a chance to live near my brother for once. It was hard. We rent my brother's house and had hopes of him moving back soon, but now it might be 2023 now before he moves back.

Guess I'll keep waiting. But you know what? God has a way of working all things out. We love our new adventure here and feel like we're finally living in a great town. We've met new friends. My husband loves his new job. Savannah loves her new school.

And I still have hope that one day we will all live together and have that loving relationship that you guys show on every episode. We think we can talk my parents into living in both cities if we are both in Greenville throughout the year. It gives me hope. Until then, I'll keep listening if you will keep sharing. Thanks for bringing sunshine into so many people's lives with your podcast. We are all saying, me too, in our own ways.

Love y'all. Oh, Wendy. I start by saying that I've been to Greenville. I've been to Greenville a ton. Like, I play in a golf tournament there for the last however many years. Oh, really? Awesome. Is it?

Greenville's amazing. Love Greenville. Hmm. I love this so much. And you know what? It's so funny, isn't it? Because it's like, it's true. like there's certain people it's like her brother's out there like doing all these things and doesn't

it's like you're just it's like their brains are just different like she stayed closer to her parents and didn't go and do those kinds of things and was always longing that her brother would be around and they'd have some sort of normal kind of it's going to come she's going to that to me is a great manifesting beginning i i hope i want wendy to write us When it happens. It's so weird, I don't know, even prior to reading his emails, you started this whole thing off about talking about manifestation just in general. And then the first email is about her putting on her vision board manifesting sort of this new life or that she, where she could be closed her brother. And it fucking happened.

I mean, weird, man. I know. I love it. I love it. Awesome. And just the time that she took to write this, I don't know. It's awesome. I just, I just, yeah, it's true.

I, I, I, it's so meaningful for, for, for me. I mean, I, I, I, I hope it is for other people listening to, but like, when I hear stories like this, you realize that no matter how far away we all think we are, or by the way, people might think they are from me or you, Ollie, like, we're so interconnected. There's so much, there's, you know, people, we, we think that, we, we think that, we, We think that on the outside that there's such a difference, that there's such a huge, you know, that, you know, I know a lot of people sometimes think that our lives aren't necessarily normal. And they're not. They're, they're, they're, they're not normal. Nobody's life is normal. Right. But there's such a, there's, when it comes to family and dynamic and like how we all grow up and live and how that, how that then sort of turns itself into who we are as adults. our relationships with our siblings and our parents.

It's so connected. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anyway, I just, I just think that... It is. It's like everyone wants to know, like, what's the secret? It's like, the secret is you got to connect to your shit. Because it's where we're all, like, we all...

That's where every single human beings energy is connected. We all have... a different circumstances, similar stories. Mm-hmm. No, it's true. It's a good point. We really do. I mean, a lot of the feelings are the same.

It doesn't necessarily mean that, again, circumstantially, things might be different. But the root of some of these feelings, they're so interconnected, you know. The human experiences is never, is never truly singular. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah, well, that's why you have to, that's why it's important to talk about these things and reach out, you know, even though you know you're not alone in the way that you feel sometimes it's nice to actually hear that other people are experiencing the similar things. Yeah. You know, going back to the first email, the support group for Alzheimer's. It's like, yeah, everyone knows that many people are suffering, you know, with caregiving for a loved one who has Alzheimer's. But it's nice to get into a place where you can talk and experience together and feel like you're a part of someone, something that is going through something similar. It's comforting.

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All right. Hey, Kate and Oliver. I hope you guys are fabulous. Well, where to begin. I am Brittany from a small town in Georgia. I'm working at the hospital in the midst of the pandemic, along with helping manage the COVID vaccine clinics. My sister is actually working with the Department of Public Health, and she runs the vaccine clinics there. To say we are tired is an understatement. I'm sending you energy right now, Brittany.

This podcast has helped me in so many ways. It's a place to go for tears, laughs, moments of realization. But really, you guys always make me take a step back in my life and really think about the happiness and joy I have received from my siblings. My siblings and I were not given the best childhood. Wait a minute. Allison, did you put a sad warning on this? No, you did not. Okay, hold on.

My siblings and I were not given the best childhood. I have two brothers that are younger than me and one sister who is a year older than me. We sadly had a depressed, suicidal, bipolar mother, along with a father who had a very bad addiction to drugs. We have so many horror stories of what we witnessed and what we emotionally felt at that moment. We were taken from our mother and father at a young age and spent years waiting to be reunited with our parents. Constant phone calls of asking mommy and daddy when they would pick us up. But yeah, it has caused us quite the abandonment issues. Yeah.

My father always has chosen women and drugs over his kids. He has not witnessed any of our births. my mother tried her best to raise four children while constantly battling the demons of bipolar disorder we sadly lost her mother to suicide about eight years ago and my father is still trapped in the addiction world through many counseling sessions and tears we have become quite amazing people regardless of what we have gone through wow good for you jesus that's tough through all of the trauma and heartache my siblings and i have created quite the bond we fight for one another we are always there for one another and me and my sister basically became mothers at quite a young age. We financially support our brothers and emotionally, really, et cetera. My brothers have turned out to be amazing young adults. My 17-year-old brother has his own business and was giving a lot of honors for baseball. He will graduate high school next year and will also be attending college, hopefully for baseball, if he chooses.

My other brother is also on the same baseball team and has been given many honor. he has bipolar oh wow and constantly fights his own demons every day he has just gone into high school volunteers at church groups to help others works a job and he is 15 my brothers are my pride and joy my brothers are my pride and joy they continue to give us a reason to work harder every day my sister is the first college graduate in our family and I'm still working on my college degree with toxic family members lost gains given responsibilities that were never supposed to be ours my sister and I have turned out quite amazing I am resentful of the fact that my parents were never the parents we needed but whenever

I think about it it has molded us it's that perseverance man it's just amazing um it has molded us into quite amazing individuals. Everything we have lacked from our childhood was given to our brothers. Not to say it was a blessing of losing my parents, but we managed to make it. And it is quite an amazing feeling. Thank you guys for your podcast.

Kate, I've always loved you. You're such an inspiring woman. Oliver is such an amazing man. Both of your stories are inspiring. As you know, the emptiness of a parent disappointing you from a young age, wishing you both lots of love, Brittany. I did pretty good.

I did pretty good. I mean, I don't know if I'd say that. You kind of lost it. I just paused for a long time. You know, look, this is one of those stories. This is like, you know, to me, I mean, I know that Brittany knows because she says that, you know, she is amazing. First of all, you are amazing. And your sister sounds amazing and your brothers sound amazing.

and amazing is is the is the word of this letter because she says that a lot too so it's what a beautiful thing to be putting that out yeah but touching but touching on that real quick though like kate like when she says we've turned out we have both my sister and i've turned out quite amazing like you said her owning that is awesome yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah because she knows yeah she knows and you struggle i mean those are things like Like, you know, I don't know, you know, losing your parent to suicide and knowing that that's, I mean, it sounds like they've known that that was a possibility throughout being young. But growing up with that kind of instability is a very hard thing to come out the other side and to just like keep fighting for a better life. And that sounds like that that is what not only Brittany and her sister is doing, but what they're, what they've given their brothers.

And yeah. And now the 15-year-old has bipolar as well. So, you know. Yeah. It's also, it's also an unfortunate common story, meaning that again, you know, Brittany, the family, they're not alone. I'm sure through her therapy has realized that there's so many families who've, you know, go. through this. You know, we were, we were talking about kids getting fostered with their siblings and, you know, it's just, uh, it's just that, you know, mental illness wreaks havoc on families if you can't get the right help. And, um, I just, I might, my hope, and I'm sure that their brother is, is doing good and, and is getting the right kind of counseling and, but what an amazing story i how old is brittany did she say in this she i don't think she did she well i know that the brothers are 17 and 15 she didn't say she hasn't graduated college i'm assuming

she's in her 20s you know this is just unbelievable i i know i know i want to like talk to them it's incredible i mean the strength again in the middle and i was like just when i was trying to get through it just the perseverance the sort of saying no this is what we were dealt and we're going to make it better we're going to do you know what i mean like it's just her sister graduating college and also probably working full time i'm assuming like they look how how hard they're working and now she's trying to you know i mean it's it's it's it's it's just It's just amazing. And, you know, addiction is a really scary thing because, you know, I always say sometimes you can't tell the smartest people you know to stop using drugs. It's just such a hard thing to get people to recognize when they have that kind of addiction, the importance of getting clean. You can't tell them. They have to do it all on their own, you know. It's a really, really, and it doesn't mean that their father doesn't have, isn't, you know, doesn't have all great qualities or could be, you know, clean, you know, but that, but drugs when they take a hold, it's just, it's just like, man, it's relentless and.

Oh, sure. And then you got to go back, of course, and do, you know, his, their father's life. What did that look like? But anyway, this is just a great share. I think the bond, this is a great sort of representation of siblings and how you can bond when the one thing that they have and they know they have is the same experience with their parents. And it's brought them closer to each other, more reliant on each other,

more available to each other, you know? It's just so, thank God they have each other. It's just, yeah, perfect. Amazing. Yeah. Brittany, we love you. Thank you for sharing. That was just the, just, you are amazing.

Okay. My name is Sarah and I have been a fan of your podcast since day one. Aside from the podcast, I have been a fan of your family as long as I can remember. My husband and I dated for over seven years before becoming engaged. Before you pop the question, I used to say that we could be life partners like Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell. Getting to know the two of you and your family dynamics through this podcast confirms that you are as delightful, warm, caring, and close-knit as I have always believed. I would use similar words to describe the dynamics in my own family, and we certainly appreciate a healthy dose of humor with anything in life, which is another reason why I think I've always believed. been such a big fan of yours. I have an older brother, technically half-brother, but we have always

referred to each other as full siblings. And two younger sisters, my parents have been married for 30-plus years, and I had a real wholesome, stereotypical Midwestern upbringing. With that being said, as you always say, everyone and every family has their struggles. My older brother is almost eight years older than I, and I found it difficult to remain close to him in our adulthood, which saddens me. One sister is 13 months younger and the other is almost eight years younger and we have always been like three peas in a pod. Once we got past the phase of my youngest sister being the annoying one who wanted to pretend she was older, then what she was while we were growing up. In recent years, I've seen my sister, my younger sisters struggle with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, alcoholism, thoughts of suicide and legal issues. As we always say, everyone's got their shit.

My heart has been in immense pain at times seeing my sister's hurting and ultimately knowing that I alone cannot take away their pain. On top of being an older protective sister, I am also a mental health professional, which only adds to the feeling like I should be able to fix them. All of that aside, in my work as a therapist, I serve primarily children and adolescents and feel a great sense of pride and purpose in helping others work through their struggles.

You two are a constant companion on my commute to and from work, and I look forward to your episodes every week, almost getting giddy when I see the notification on my phone that a new episode is available. You two have such a perfect yin and yang dynamic in your conversations, and I appreciate all of the things that your podcast has shed light on, including the light that it brings to my days when other things personally or professionally just seems too sad or tough. Keep up the great work. And I really think that Oliver could have a shot at being a therapist someday. I mean, you know, much love, Sarah. Interesting. Ollie, Ollie, you could be a therapist or a life coach. Oh, God. Can I just say something right now? No. Imagine if I gave it all up,

I just gave up the entertainment industry. Sarah, that's very nice of you, but I'm going to have to like very respectfully decline. Let's draw my application. Decline your suggestion.

Oh, gosh. Oliver as a life, let me tell you, if he could, if he'd show up to the sessions, let's just start with that. Right, I might be late. He'd be like on a gondola, like, like zooming like yelling at his kids trying to do a session um that's but it's interesting the dynamic here where she is a mental health professional albeit working with children you know

and adolescents but still i wonder what that that feeling it that adds to the helplessness of yeah i'm trained to help you and i fucking can't yeah i mean that's got to be crazy it's like having a child that you wish you could take their pain away. You think you wish, it's like you, it's like you. And I saw you walk in the house the other day. I kind of like made you come to your friend's house. I was like, you got to come over. Like, what are you doing?

You're like sitting on the couch, whatever. But when you walked in, I just had a sense, an energetic sense, not saying that you were necessarily in that place. But I like saw your, like, I could see like your chest was like, Just like holding so much. And I was like, oh, I actually could just like pull this out of my brother. I just want to like take it like like it's a demon. Like it's a like it's an entity.

And I want to I want to I want to, I want to just suck it out. I want to like, I want to exercise it out. I want to do it. Yeah, don't don't don't say suck it out. That is inappropriate. I want to like, no, no, not me. Like, I want energetically for it to be sucked out. Like, I want to, like, you know, I know, I mean.

I want to, like, you know, when you have a booger that's, like, really deep in your nose and you, like, get it. And it's one of those boogers that you know when it comes out, it's going to feel like it's in your brain. And then your entire sinus is clean. That's how I felt about your anxiety when I saw you. I wanted to take it and, like, release it so that you can, like, have a full breath that your, like, body was empty, right? I wanted your body to feel empty of that. And I know. And I think as a sister who cares about a sibling or a brother, whatever, it is.

It's one of those feelings where you're like, oh, I just want to, like, help that go away. I know, but you can only do so much, you know what I mean? Yeah, you, you got, you know, well. It sounds like, the headline's going to be weird. Kate Hudson wants to suck the demons out of her brother. Oh, I think that's a great headline. People will definitely want to know what we're talking about. Oh, that's so funny.

Oh, well, Sarah, I love how much you care. I love the work that you do. We need more mental health professionals out there working with children. And, yeah, I wish you could say that it's getting better, but it's not, unfortunately. So, you know, thanks for that. And I hope your sister's all right. And thank you for writing in. So this was a comment on the Apple podcast, and we thought it was just nice, so.

Okay, here we go. I'm a 66-year-old woman who has lived my life with severe PTSD. I was physically and emotionally abused as a young girl, and living a so-called normal life was just not realistic. I've always felt different, but now I am more aware of why, thanks to inner child work. Oh, that's, by the way, I'd like to actually, we should talk to someone who does all that inner child. It's interesting. Yeah. I have had three siblings. My youngest brother died from a drug overdose. I am not close to my living brother. He's very close to off to having any relationship. My sister and I are just now trying to get to know each other. We all lived in an abusive home. You guys and your open, vulnerable relationship makes me feel sane and somewhat normal. Love you so much, and I look forward to every episode. You guys are so fun.

Stay beautiful, Oliver, you are a precious man. Katie, your laughs make me laugh. You both are open and always trying to be better humans. We all need to be kind and love, sometimes from afar, but kindness and love is the answer to living with peace. Hmm. I love getting to know you too. We are all human.

We can live a life with forgiveness, love, and kindness. without judgment. Enjoy your life with each other. Life's too short for anything else. Oh. Oh, that's so wonderful. I mean, well, I mean, let me reframe that. You know, it's always nice to hear that even when you're experiencing and in the work,

like you can tell, like she's clearly always, she's 66, she's still working. I mean, you know, we have a friend and she has a lot of PTSD. TSD, a lot of stuff, and she's in our 60s, and she's constantly working. And sometimes I, you know, I'll be talking with her, and I'll, like, kind of, like, stop and be like, you know, sometimes we don't have to just work so hard. Like, the uphill battle of trying, you know, because we're always changing. Like, our life, we should always be looked, like, there's no moment in your life or something doesn't need to be kind of worked through something.

There's always something. But when people have really experienced stuff like this, like abuse, and sometimes you work so hard to feel light that the work in itself is adding to the, sometimes you just need to like, it's okay to just. Oh, yeah. You can overload for sure. Yeah, like you don't have to work.

so hard like you know and and and and i i love what i love what she's saying about um peace and forgiveness i i lately this is like one of the things i think about a lot because we're living in such a tumultuous rigid thinking time um and and i feel like the one thing that we're forgetting about movement and change is forgiveness because it just doesn't Peace cannot exist without that piece of the puzzle. It just cannot. And when she says that, you know, you have to be able to forgive the hardest things in order to find inner peace. And just because you forgive doesn't mean that you like, you know, I say forgiveness, like a part of that, you know, you can sort of marry with your faith. a lot of people who have more religious practices or spiritual practices have an easier time

with forgiveness because they believe that something, you know, are bigger is going, will be. It's like when someone says, I forgive you because your words and your issues are with God, not with me. You know, let God be, you know, that's sort of a very kind of Christian, like, God be the ultimate right witness right but you can forgive but I think that there's still not associate well yeah I think I think that but I think that's a really beautiful concept which is don't take on someone else's even if it's inflicted you you even if it's even if it's challenged you to carry that is to give it power right well forgiveness is is selfish in a way You're doing it for yourself.

I mean... If you forgive and let go, like forgive, let go let God, you know, I think then you can find real peace. You know, I... It's like our therapist. Easier, you know, sounds simple, not simplistic, because it's so hard. But it's working that process that I think brings people more lightness of being. Right. Well, there's a root to everything.

Right. There's a root to the pain of everyone. And those who didn't get to that route to break a cycle will then continue it. Yeah. And then bring it. So it's about forgiving where they came from, forgiving them based on what their situation was. And again, it doesn't mean you have to associate and become friends or have a new relationship with. But it's just an awareness, a mindfulness of, oh, wait, they went through this and didn't have the capacity to sort of fix themselves. And then they passed. I'm going to bring this back full circle because we started this talking about Tina Turner and the abuse that she experienced and watching her documentary and all of that and and and when she found Buddhism and that was when she started to release and forgive and let go and start to look to let let let go of the control and the stop reliving the story, you know. Yep. And it's a very challenging thing to do. But oh, my God. I love you. Thank you, everybody.

Again, we love the email episodes. I know. They're so great. They're so, they're so, they're so, um, therapeutic. I, it's like I, I want to do this, you know, I guess that's kind of like the red table talk that Jada and the, and the, right. It's sort of like there's something so therapeutic about being able to talk about. And like lineage, we lose sight of our lineage. I was doing this thing with, I was, I mean, I was looking through Instagram and someone

had posted about, and someone had posted about this Bill Maher talking about how people actually revere their elders in most because they're, because of the wisdom, the life that they live, the knowledge that they have and like lineage and how important it is to keep those things like, you know, we need to like have more reverence for our siblings and our older sibling and our younger, like how we, I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say, um, um, um, these, these episodes, no, no, I'm trying to just, just give me a second. These email episodes that that's sort of what I get from it.

It's like I sort of get reminded that, that our story, our lineage, that's the place we need to actually grow from. That's our launching pad. And no matter how difficult it is, you need to honor it. I know that sounds crazy for people who, but like, honor it and then, and that's where you launch from. And you can launch in any direction you choose, any different direction, breaking the cycle. But like honoring that everything has a story comes from something, learning about.

understanding it so that you can make better decisions for yourself. Well, right, you can either continue it or break from it, you know, depending on what that story is. Yeah, for sure. I love you, my brother. I love you, too. That was fun. Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Allison Bresden.

Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate. the show and leave us a review. This show is powered by Simplecast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie

and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here! Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of the Over Comfort Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship?

Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcomber podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump role star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time. I think the last

I talked to Tom. It was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to casual chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.