Jason and Tyler Ritter
00:00This is an I-Heart podcast.September is a great time to travel,especially because it's my birthday in September,especially internationally.Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe.Did we've one in France,we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago.Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.
00:21So if you're heading out this month,consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature.You can hire someone local to help manage everything.Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia.Had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it.Five, six white people pushed me in the car.Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin.
00:55All you got to do is receive the package.Don't have to open it, just accept it.She was very upset, crying.Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand, and I saw the flash of light.Listen to the Chinatown Stang on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts.Hi, it's Honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast.Grasias, come again.We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities.
01:24You didn't have to audition?No, I didn't audition.I haven't auditioned in, like, over 25 years.Oh, wow.That's a real G-talk right there.Oh, yeah.We'll talk about all that's viral and trendingwith a little bit of cheesement
01:36and a whole lot of laughs.And, of course,the great bevras you've come to expect.Listen to the new season of Dresses Come Againon the IHeartRadio app,Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.Hi, I'm Kate Hudson.And my name is Oliver Hudson.
01:58We want to.to do something that highlighted our relationship and what it's like to be siblings we are asibling revelry no no sibling reverie don't do that with your mouthsibling revelry that's goodOliver.We got to interview Jason and Tyler Ritter, which was really fun.I went to school with Jason.He was a year younger than me.
02:39Jason's disposition is so sweet.Yes.And so pure.And so genuine.Like, I love that guy.I wish I could be like him in a way.He's so sunny.Yeah.
03:03We're keeping this entire thing in as the intro.Exactly.Oh, shit.This is our attempt to do the intro.This is one of my favorite episodes.It was so fun because I listened to the whole thingand I was just like everything about it makes me feel good.And just their whole energy, both of their energies is so wonderful.
03:32Like, you're sunny is the right word.I mean, I know you're super high right now.Yeah, but you're really, really hitting on some good stuff.He's very sunny.So I never really knew Tyler because he's so much younger.And he's just as sweet and awesome as his brother.I mean, anyway, this was great.I think people are going to love this.
03:53I also think, too, like the way that they've handled their father's passingand how they talk about it and express themselves.I think it would be really helpful to so many people.No, I know.I was actually curious if we were going to broach that,if we were going to get into it or not.I wasn't sure.And when we did, I was happy that we did.
04:11It was actually nice to be able to talk about itand just have that memory.But anyway, I just, I think that the way that they,you know, there's some real,their sense of humor is just, like, enlightening.So, all right, so.I hope everybody enjoys this episode with Jason and Tyler Ritter.So Jason and Tyler,
04:39welcome to sibling revelry.Sibling revelry, just for people listening.You know, we went to school together, and so, you know,we've known each other a long time.Yeah.Were you in the drama department at Crossroads?I was in the drama department at Crossroads.Yeah.
05:02Nerd.One of my fondest memories is our improv.Do you remember this?Yeah, I remember the improv.And your dad was one of the judges.Do you remember?Yeah, that's right.Well, that's a little biased, don't you think?
05:19I took the gold every time.I never.I just wanted to say that I had the fondest memory of, and memories of your dad being just thesweetest.He was the sweetest.He was awesome.And not to just start it right off the bat with the fact that you guys were really young whendad passed away.
05:43But I think it's going to inform a lot about what we talk about being siblings and whathappened during that time.You guys were both sort of like entering the world and something that.sudden happens. But I just wanted to sort of off the bat acknowledge that and then kind ofrewind a little bit. And let's share with everybody sort of, you know, what the siblingdynamic is. And who's the oldest? By the oldest. And then there's Carly who was betweenTyler and I, who's two years younger than me, three years older than Ty. And then Tyler five yearsyounger. He's the baby. He's the baby. We have a younger brother, no.
06:25And Noah, yeah.Yeah.So all full siblings?Noah is our half-s.And how old is Noah?No one.21.Yeah.
06:37Geez, that's so creepy.All, like, going to be wrapping up college pretty soon, which is mind-wise.Because I was 19 when he was born, which is so crazy.So I was already out of the house.Yeah.And, yeah.That's crazy.Oh, God, time goes by so fast.
06:54I feel like I just graduated.in high school, and now I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah.You kind of still look like you just still just graduated high school.Whatever, like, they have.There's this thing called, like, an inflammation level in people's bodies and howhigh or low it is determines, like, what you actually, like, how you age.Oh, really?Inflammations.
07:16Yes.Jesus.I've been inflamed since, like, three days old.You're, like, so inflamed.It's crazy.I'm as flaming as they get.You're actually nine years old.A lot of people don't know.
07:30Right, exactly, exactly.Okay, so where were you born?Are you guys Cedars kids or St. John's?St. John's, yeah.St. John's, yeah.Wow.Yeah, we're Cedars kids, so fuck off.Oh, wow, it's like that.
07:49Oh, okay.I wish I knew that before we said yes to this thing.Lucky we're grooming.Jason, so Carly was the first one to come home.Do you remember?I kind of remember.I mean, it's that kind of thing where I heard a bunch of stories,and then I've included those into my memories.
08:09But I remember some great stories.I've heard some great stories and some not so great stories.Apparently I was, like, so excited.And then after a certain period of time, I was like, oh, well, that was great.So when did we drive her back to?the hospital.Yeah.It's just so much fun to have a sister
08:28for a little while, but it's just the three of us.It's sort of the thing.And then Ibecame like, as faras I can put together, I becamevery halflike protective and halflike trying to destroy her.
08:45So I,which is weird to say, because I don'tthink like I'm an evil personat heart, but you hear storiesabout yourself before you were likeconscious doing likesociopathsand you're like
08:58huh that's whatwhat were some of the things that you wereyou were doing well like I think an examplethat that umsort of encapsulates both of these thingsis she really wanted toat a certain point maybeshe was like two or at this point I was four
09:14or three and five something like thatshe really wanted to me to open the gateto go out into the streetso Iopened it for hertrue gentlemantold her to look both waysyes exactly
09:29and then I was likeMomyeahCarly'sgoneyeahshe's either up the streetor down the street
09:39somewhere in the streetI can't get herI'm sixor fun of itwhatever wasyeahand then there are another storythat I heard
09:49where my momsaw meI was goingCarly come onthis way, this way, and she was crawling after me.And I was going to, yeah, come on.All right there, right there.And then I just took the sliding door
10:00and very softly just started to like squeeze it on her head.So darned.That's amazing.You're like trying.This is like weird Ted Bundy shit, Jay.No, no, no, no.This is as natural as it gets.No, it's, I think there's like an animalistic, like this new thing.
10:23is going to take my food.It's like a weird survival thing.Then you grow out of.And obviously, I love my sister so much.And I would never hurt her in any way.You should try closing a door on her head.Yeah.See if she remembers.
10:41Right.She'd take me down.But yeah, so I remember, like, there were some stories like, yeah.But I think for the most part, we really got along a bunch of adventuresand loved each other very much.And then Tyler came along a little bit after that.And I was a little bit older, I was more mature, I was five at that point.Was it nice having a brother?
11:01Was it sort of like, did you remember that?When I was, I was 10 when Wyatt came into our lives.Oh, wow.But I remember when it was revealed that he was a boy, right?Or wait a minute, no, it was, we had a cake.Didn't we Kate?It was like a red and a blue cake.You always get this wrong.
11:21It's like, I don't even know.It's like we've...What do you mean?First of all, like, we've done a million interviews at this point,and you've told this story, and you still get it wrong.I know because I've cut it out because you all...You get it wrong.Okay, we were told...
11:42We didn't know what he was until he was born.Right.That's right.But I knew it was a boy, because I'm psychic.And then you had a red and blue cake.We did...cakes and we both made cakes for what we wanted him or her to be.I made a girly cake.
12:00You made a boy cake.Yes.Can we make sure this stays in the podcast this time?So I don't ever have to bring it up again.My point, my point is, is that having a brother was a very exciting proposition for me.After dealing with Kate.Yeah.Yeah, well, I mean, I had this similar thing, and I actually, like, I'm, I named Tyler.
12:30Well, I, let me, I, I pitched the name Tyler to my parents.I was like, my friend has a younger brother named Tyler, and it's just like the coolest younger brother name.Like, it's just the best, like, you just got to have a younger brother named Tyler.Like, that's the, that's the coolest thing.And I was like, please, can we just name Tyler?And they're like, well, you know, that's our decision.We'll think about it.And then I do remember they were like, guess what?
12:53You decided to name him Tyler.And I said, yes, guess who has a brother named Tyler now, Jamie?But yeah, so I was very excited.That's a great tactic, though, for to get the older brother to love the siblings.It's like, you name it.Oh, yeah.Name the kid, and you're going to love that kid forever.That's really smart.
13:19That's true.If a sibling lives forever in debt.I, that's, yeah.There was a story that you first pitched snuffel up against.Oh, did I?That's what I was always told.He came to us with two pitches.The first one did not go so well.
13:35Well, that's the tactic, you see?That's like, that's the, you pitched like a way extreme idea.They're like, if you don't like that, I mean, that's my favorite, but Tyler is the same.Yeah.Then they're like, well, can't do snuffelope in case.I guess, you know.Smart.Really smart.
13:53If you go Tyler and Steve, then they're like, oh, well, you know.Yeah, no, very smart.But Tyler's not a love you guys.They can't.So Tyler comes along.Now you're five years older.So do you remember specifically that moment?I do have a memory of, like, him coming, like, seeing him in the,
14:18what are you called?We have one.Batsynastin.Yeah, like in the little strapped-in seat thing that you carry babies around in.I'm sure there's names for it.Moses basket?Yes, a Moses basket in the river that I found.But I do remember that, and I remember thinking like, oh, right.
14:41They don't just come out like, hey, I'm your little brother.Like, let's climb trees.I was like, oh, they're so small.I forgot about this whole part.Now Carly is so funand we can talk to each otherand we've got to wait for this oneto grow a little bit, yeah.
14:58Oh, I know watching at least Ronniethere is, and it's got to be just,it's so instilled in our DNAand our makeup.When she sees a baby, she goes,oh, I mean, she's 19 months,she goes, oh, baby, baby, baby.And my sons, like, none of them were like that.
15:21Wow.You know, none of them has...Yeah, she's a...Oh, my...Yeah.So what I'm asking is,you didn't have that, oh, baby instinct with Tyler.It was more like, okay, well...
15:33I know, I mean, I was very excited.I just was like, how do we speed this long?Is there a miracle growth that we can, like, pour on?And I think, like, that carried throughout a lot of our lives.I think, like, I wanted him.I was like, come on, let's go on the roller coasters.Like, you just bear it.You just made it to the line.
15:52Like, this is life.Welcome to it.You know, I was very excited.I wanted him to, and I think in a lot of ways, it was like, he was like, can I just, like, go at my own pace a little bit?I was like, here's these board games.And like, so here's how you play.You know, he's like, I'm two.I just learned some words.
16:11Like, give me a break.He's like, what's monopoly?I don't like that.Like, so it's about capitalism, okay?Where did you guys grow up?Like Brentwood area?Yeah.Yeah.
16:28But also when I was born, you guys had to move.So I imagine that was also a negative impact on your life, right?Because you had your own room.And then I came along and family had to pick up shop.Yeah.I had to leave my special wall behind.Yeah, and I'm reminded of that wall.You had a special wall?
16:50I had a special wall.One of my parents' friends had painted all of these little animals on the wall, like a tiger and a pig and all these, like a little just mural, like just painted on the actual wall.And when I was growing up, I had this thing where if I was having a nightmare, the tiger and the giraffe and the monkey would like jump off the wall.into my nightmare and like save me from whatever monster there was so when i had to leave the we werelike moving and it was also exciting and i was like so how do we get uh how do we get these guys therewell no they they stay here and i was like okay so what about my nightmares i'm just going to diein all my nightmares now um so i was i was i actually i was i remember being like the firstlike going to sleep and being like i'm on my own in these nightmares now
17:45I have no back in.Yeah.So wait a minute, wait, boy, this is fascinating to me.Would they actually appear in your nightmare?Like, they would come, or was this something you were imagining,or were you doing acid at the age of your life?If I was doing acid, I was being given it.I was being sprinkled into my footloops.
18:06No, I just, that was like the image.I would be in a nightmare.I'd have some terrifying thing coming for me,and then I would just see the,the tiger just, like, leap in.And I'd be like, oh, thank you.And he'd be like, ah, you're safe.That's awesome.
18:22Yeah.I want to, like, create that for myself now at the age of 43.I wonder what your animals would be.Yeah, I'm thinking about my son now, too,who just has a spooky black and white forest all around him.Oh, whoa.Oh, the wallpaper.It's cool wallpaper, but...
18:39It is cool wallpaper.Yeah, but...I'm not going to help him if the monster's coming after him.It's like a silver lake nurse.nursery.Yeah, right.Is that?Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:49I'll tell my Silver Lake's very safe.Yeah.It's nowhere near Silver Lake, but it's...Did you guys grow up in a pretty open household?Do you mean?It was very free.I mean, you obviously, you know, your dad was an actor and actually your grandfather was aperformer as well.
19:03You didn't know him, but that's probably where you get your voice from, huh?I mean...No, he had, like, a deep amazing voice.He did?And I spent my entire life trying to, like, talk at the low...I just turned my voice because my natural talking voice is like still where...It's just kind of like up here.It's still in that low-level inflammation age.
19:24Yeah, exactly.That, right, that's the drawback of looking so youngis you don't get that nice, groveling voice, you know?Exactly.Tom Waits.But just overall, was it a pretty free-spirited sort of open house?I would say, I mean, there were definitely like, you know, rules and stuff.You know, but, but yeah, I would say, like, for the most part, it was pretty open, and we had, you know, we could explore and be wild.
19:55And, I mean, certainly some of the stories that we talk about and remember, like, there must have been a free house because we were just on the roof, you know.Oh, yeah.Like, you know, so yeah, we, I think, I think they let us, they let us sort of explore and try things.We weren't like little porcelain doll children.We got like, you know, Tyler and I would wrestle and fight all the time with love for each other.But we wounded each other.A lot of humor.A lot of humor.
20:30Oh, yeah.Yeah, because your dad, I mean, he's a comedian.He's funny, shit, right?So was it a ball about, I mean, was he what you think he was?You know what I mean?When you see who your dad was in the spirit of your father.father, what we see on TV. Was that who he was in his house with you guys?Yeah, I would say there is, you know, a lot of his depth is communicated through his work,
20:56which is, I think, one of the reasons he connected with a lot of people. But he really was justlike so overwhelmingly compassionate towards us. And to the point that, you know, if anyonedidn't have that experience with him that I ever knew of, who didn't have an amazing,amazing running with him. It was usually because he was trying to protect us. So a lot of timesif we were out at dinner or at a Dodgers game or something, there would be a few times thatsomeone would come up to him and he'd say, you know, I'm just trying to spend this afternoonwith my son. And it was always sort of jarring in that sense because, you know, 99% of thetime he was really all loving. And compassionate is a great word. Yeah. Yeah. I think he was, yeah.
21:43so much heart i think there was a lot of a lot of love in our household growing upabsolutely yeah did you guys ever get did you guys ever get pissed off though like whenpeople wanted a piece of your dad meaning you're at dinner and people are interrupting and allthat where it's like just get the fuck away because i i had that when i was a kid where peoplewould come up to the dinner table and it wasn't like oh my god you know i i i i did not like itIt drove me crazy, you know?You know, I think that was how our dad felt with his dad.Like, his dad would stop and just sort of sign autographs,
22:23and he would just be like, I'm right here.So he made sure that we always felt like prioritized in those situations.So I think, at least for me, I don't know for you, Ty,but for me it's sort of swang.That's not the swung.swungswingthe other way
22:44which where I was likejust be nicejust do whatever they wantand he was just likeno I'm likeI want to hangif I doif I start here
22:55then itOh yeahI'm the oppositeI'm like who wants onewhoI'm like anyonewants somethingI want my kids to think
23:03I'm cool as shitall rightyeah yeahanyone want a pictureyeahBecause so my kids think that I'm like, I'm the man.Tapping on people's shoulders at the restaurant.I don't know if you're aware.
23:19Right.You know, I am wearing a hat, so.I should have, sorry.I'm sorry.What about Tyler?Did you get up?Were you cool with all that, you know?Or did you get frustrated with that stuff at all?
23:35Yeah, I was, I was, I got it.I think we had sort of been given a little bit of that explanationand that it was coming from his love for usand that sort of protective nature.But there were times where, you know,he had this rule for himselfthat if anyone asked him if he was John,then he would say no.
24:01Like if they gave him an out, he would take it.Yeah.And he would like live by that,no matter how much they tried to change the narrative.So they'd be like, hey, are you John Ritter?And he'd be like, nope.And they'd be like, wait, no, yeah, you are.No, yeah, no.
24:14And it would just sometimes get to a pointwhen you're like,and I was probably so obviousbecause I'm sure I was turning beat redand just like staring at him like,we're lying to this person.Well, that was the other thing.A child is very awkwardly staring at you right now.
24:31He also greatly enjoyed embarrassing us all in public.So I think like when that kind of thing would happenand we would be like,oh my God, just tell you.the truth. They know. He knowsthat it's you. Just like, whydid you say that you quit?Yeah. Yeah.
24:47Yeah, dude, that's a great joy.A great joy. And you guys will hopefullyunderstand this as later onis embarrassing your children. I mean,I have so much fun doingthat. Oh, God. It is.It's the best. I'm very excited.It is the best.
25:02There was a lot of elevator games in our familyas well. Oh, yeah.Dad would just pretend like he wasthis strange guy in an elevator,he'd say, pretend you don't know me.And then no matter who got in the elevator,even if they were like, oh, that's your own litter.He would continue this bit of, like, his hat to the side
25:21and trying to figure out a corner of the elevator,and we'd be like, just stop.They know, and you're just being so weird.Well, it was so funny.I was just going to say, your dad's so goofy, you know?Yeah.He was like, and our mom is goofy,and they kind of made their,
25:38career on television being this sort of like goofy, I mean, when your dad startedthree's company, what was that, 1970?Seven, I think.Late 70s?Yeah.So, you know, how many channels were there?Yeah.Not that many.
25:58Like three.Yeah.And same with Mom on Laughan.You know, you had only a couple channels to watch television and the big shows were so huge.And, you know, that generation literally feels like they know your dad.And he was so goofy on that.And then I was just going to say, like, was he that goofy in person?He definitely was.
26:19And physical.Yeah.I mean, he had, he was like, he had all sides of him.He was like, you know, like Tyler was saying, he definitely had like a depth and a level of empathy and compassion.And could stand up for people in a way that I still.want to be able to do, like, you know, if someone, like, makes, like, an insensitive joke orsomething, especially about, like, anybody in the disabled community or anything, like,even in, like, the 80s and 90s when that kind of stuff was, like, even someone saying, like,
26:53there was a word, there was, like, spas, like, hey, dope you spas, man, like, that was going,and he just, he would, like, really hold people to the, yeah, he'd be like, you know,He would really, he'd be like, what do you mean?What's, what, what would respond?Like, people have spasms?Like, it was so, he could get so intense.But it was always, like, in a way that kind of made people,and it happened to me a couple times where I made a joke.
27:20And he was like, think about what you just said.And I, like, my little mind was like, oh, right.I didn't even, like, I didn't realize that that could be something that someone could be very hurt by.But then there were times where he was like,The absolute most goofiest, most embarrassing dad.He introduced the element of scaring each other in the family.So scaring each other has been a huge piece of our dynamic.And it's, you know, Carly has it.
27:56We all have a little piece of it.My three-year-old son already has it.We will go to great lengths to scare each other.And he definitely pushed those boundaries.I mean, I am so easily startled, and I have very embarrassing reactions when I am startled.But I love scaring people.And I also think it's so funny when I get scared when someone else, like, jumps.I feel like it's such a true reaction.
28:24You cannot control what your body does.It's just so true.Melanie has, like, zero adrenaline in her body.So she, so there have been a couple times where I've, like, given up onI'm trying to scare her, because at the best reaction I've ever gotten,she'll be like, oh, dear.Or like, she'll be like, oh, that's creepy.I'm like, there's no, like, jumping or, like, high-pitched anything.
28:50She's just like, oh, I guess I thought I was going to die.It felt scared inside, but there's no, like,it's an adrenaline spying.It's almost a great barometer to see how one would act in a moment of fearwhen they have to do something about it.You know, Melanie is someone,it seems like I would want on my sidebecause she could take care of shit
29:10if it was real.You know, I realizethat I could not take care of my family.Like, if there was an intruder,just by judging on how I get scared easily, actually,I'd be like,ah, like, that's what I love aboutis so revealing of, like, your true inner self.
29:31That's why I, like, I feel so badfor those people on, like, prank showswho, like, throw their...friend in front of me. I'm just like, I'm so sorry. I was scared and he's just like your pure essencewas revealed in that moment. Exactly, dude. At the end of the day, my life was more precious than yours.Sorry. I'm so sorry. Did I say that out loud?A, KRA, Sakara, Sakara, Sakara.That's how I feel about Sakara.
30:14You know, I've been eating so much Sakara.It's giving me that amount of energy that I can come up with cheers on the spot.Sakara is actually one of my favorite food delivery systems.If you want to change your diet, it's great.If you don't want to change your diet, if you know what you like and you still just want to eat healthy and have it be simple, it's also great.So they've been very clever about how they've found.formulated. It's not about restricting for them. It's about what you're eating. So it's allvery nourishing foods. But along with the food and the meals, it also has this daily
30:45wellness essentials. Supplements, herbal teas to support your nutrition. Though they have themetabolism super powder. Yes, that's the good shit. So it really focuses on your overallwellness starting with what you eat. And right now, right this second, right this second,Sikara is offering our listeners 20% off their first order when they go to Sikara.com slash Sibling or enter code Sibling at checkout.That's Sikara Saka-K-A-R-A-R-A-com slash sibling to get 20% off your first order.Sikara.com slash Siblin.Cors Light. It's the beer. It's not only the beer of the Rockies, it's the beer of the Huxons in my estimation.I've been drinking Coors Light since I was.
31:3521 years old.Three point beer, if you want a low-calorie beer, Coors Light is calling to you.Coors Light is brewed with a three-step cold process.It's cold logger, cold filtered, and cold packaged, so it's actually made to chill.They have the new design.The new design is the clear skies.Oh, yeah.Right?
31:55So it's the clear skies, and their whole thing is like, sit back, unwind, drink it in.And, you know, I mean, I have to say that kind of is what we do in Colorado.They're capturing the Colorado experience, for sure.Made to chill, you know, all about mountain cold refreshment.Get Coors Light in the new look, delivered straight to your door at get.corslight.com.Get Coors Light in the new look. Delivered straight to your door at get.corslight.com.Celebrate responsibly, kids. Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado.So dad's an actor, mom's an actress.
32:39And how did they meet?They met through, I think they had a mutual.So they didn't work together.Or agent or something?No, they didn't work together.They got set up on a date.Yeah.And then they had a great first date and moved relatively quickly after that.
32:59And then when did they divorce?Well, they got separated, I think, in 1990.And that was like the real thing.The divorce came several years later and was almost, I think I even was like, can you guys get divorced?You're not like tricking us.Right, right.You're separated.You're not living together, you know.
33:23So how old were you guys when they actually separated?I was, I think, 10 at least when I first got the.Right.then news when they like sat us down.Yeah, I was not six.I was,I was 11, yeah.Do you guys remember that?
33:39Yeah.Yeah.I also was it, it was like,there was one kid in my school.It was a close friend of mine whose parents were divorced.By the time I finished high school, I was like,your parents are still together?Yeah.
33:52I know.Yeah.Like, I,they're just so,but,but at the time,it wasn't like a,yeah,
34:00it was,it was very,surprising and painful and I and I also just I remember like when I first learned about divorce fromlike my friend when I was being explained why his dad lives somewhere else and all that stuff I waslike you guys aren't going to get divorced right you promise and they're like yeah and so I rememberlike you know you're like oh we really should get divorced but we did promise yeah well to givethem credit they did the only reason i remember it is because i remember seeing jason understand what washappening but they were very good about saying that this changes nothing for you guys and we this has
34:46no reflection on you and i remember being like so what's what's the big deal it sounds like you knowalso because dad it wasn't like we had a traditional setup where he had a job every day nine to five andwould come home he would sometimes have to travel for months at a timeyou know, to do a movie or something.So the idea of him not spending the nightand also, you know, I was always asleepbefore they were going to bed anyway.So it was just like, he just won't be here at night.
35:13And what they did end up doing is that, you know,he still spent a ton of time with us over at the house.But I remember seeing Jason's reactionand being like, oh, this is like, this is a big deal.And I just hadn't seen that.Wow. Okay, that's interesting.So you're sort of going off,of your brother, your older brother in a way
35:32because you're six and you're sort oflike, what the fuck? I don'twhat's going to happen? And then you're looking at someonewho you love and you look up toand you're like, oh whoa, wait a minute.This is real shit, shit happeningright now. Exactly. Why is my olderbrother pouring gasoline all over the house?
35:51I don't know. Jason,I'm getting a whole new insight on whyyou were so shy as a kid. You were justlike totally likescheming inside of your head all kindsof dark shit.No, I, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't, I do remember, like, I, my reaction was a littleearly, like, what they, I think what they said was like, we're having some troubles in
36:15our marriage, but it was still like they were going to work on it at that point, or it wasn'tlike, where we thought about it and we're leaving, it was just like, there's some stuffgoing on and, and, and, but yeah, but.Did you know it all?I mean, like, as a 10-year-old or 11-year-old, you know,even leading up to that maybe years before,did you notice that things weren't as great?I did not.
36:43I mean, that was like, I think, one of the things is I was just like,wait, you know, like, I mean, also I think partly like Tyler was saying,you know, he would come home.He was so much fun.So, like, I didn't notice any, like, fights.there weren't, you know, like, it wasn't, it was just sort of like...It sounds like your parents really did early on, like, a very wonderful right thing to do in a divorce and in a separation.For sure.
37:11Okay, so what about the arts?I mean, Tyler, you're an actor.Yeah.Jason, actor.Yeah.Your sister?Musician.But also, like, a wonderful...
37:25She did a play with me in high school.school in Crossroads. And she was so good. But she really tore herself apart after everyperformance. And I was like, but you, you, and she was, she like is truly also, like, she can bevery shy. She can also be like wild and fun and great. And so I think it was, it was super intensefor her. But she, she always also loved playing piano and music. And in recent years, she's movedway over to the music side and she's I mean I highly recommend her album that you can geton places it's like it's just so beautiful that's awesome we're all three of you really tight growingup or was there sort of was there tensions at all I mean I would say we were pretty tight I think
38:18like I also kind of maybe like after the divorce I kind of like I had my family life and Ialways loved everyone but then I had like I really escaped to myfriends and to just like an outside world and I don't know I have like a like a lingering guilt thatmaybe I was absent during periods of time like I remember kind of coming back to Carly andTyler year like you know years later being like hey so guys how did you guys make it throughthat like I was so consumed with my own like process of dealing with my anger and my herdand things like thatand I tried to kind of,
39:02I think what I was really trying to dowas be a certain type of role model for themso I didn't want to like give them the real stuff.And then later I was like, hey,here's some of the things.Right.So like de-compartmentalize my life,just be like, this is who I am.
39:21And it was never like I, I don't know.I mean, I would be interested to hear with Tyler.Yeah, yeah, yeah.To me, I felt like a joke.Yeah.Yeah, were you, were you, did you look up to your brother to sort of for direction?Absolutely, yeah.And I'm surprised to hear that he let you down, bro.
39:37Yeah.Yeah, no, I never would have guessed that you felt guilt for being absent or anything like that.To the contrary, I feel like for the first, you know, seven to nine years of my life, I was just like the weirdest.I would quit every game before losing.Like, we would have a board game going in.Right before I lost, I'd be like, yeah, you know, it's getting kind of late,and I'm the youngest one here, so I should probably...And I just remember Jason, like, you can't quit!
40:12Just getting so upset.Well, it would literally, it wouldn't even be like you were about to lose.It would be like...It would be like, you would be ahead for most of the game,and then, like, my character would get, like, one square ahead of yours.You'd be like, I don't know about this game.Brigg.You could still win.
40:30You could still totally win.I feel like you guys were playing Candyland.A lot of Candyland.A lot of candy land.A lot of sorry.Shoots and ladders, yeah.Just get one of those bad shoots and be like,this is not.
40:43We got to get out of here.We played sorry a lot, Ollie.Sorry was great.Did you ever feel, though, Tyler,that your brother was not paying attentionto you or sort of giving youthe attention that you felt like,like you needed?
40:59I never, not in any way other than like,I knew that I could be the annoying little brotherand like bust in the room and like, you know,scream or burp or something.And they'd be like, dude, get out of here.They'd be like, all right, that was fun.That was my whole activity that I'd planned for hours.And then I would just laugh.
41:19Or I remember there was one story where,because Jason and I would wrestle a lot.And I think it was a tactic of our dadsthat he took a lot of flack for.But when we would start to get into it to, you know, an argument or something,he would have us sort of fight it out.And he would say, fight until somebody gets hurt.But it wasn't punching or it was more wrestling.
41:38Yeah.And all that.When he would say, you can fight until someone gets hurt,the purpose was not to hurt someone.The thing was like, if someone gets hurt, you have to stop right away.Right.So we would try to, like, get out our frustrations and stuff,but not actually, like, hurt the other person.
41:55Because as soon as someone got a little bit hurt,we had to like...That's a really great tacticbecause you're sort of like...It's like, you know,it's taking away the instinctto want to hurt thembecause you're actually excited
42:08about wrestling.Yes, yeah.Exactly.But there was one time, I guess,that we had to stoplike in the middle of the fightbecause your friend was coming over.And so you were like,
42:20all right, we got to stop.And I just, I guess I still hadthat pent up energy.I don't know what this was...Because one of the other reasonsthat I didn't want tohurt Tyler is because Tyler hadlike a Hulk
42:31mode, like aHulk Dominion mode, andI could see it happen and if he got hurtlike if I was, you know, because he woulddo punching and kicking and I would do a lot of blocksand I'd do more like throws andand like maneuvering.And every once in a while I would
42:47throw him into a wall or something like I wasmiscalculated and he would fall.And he would go, ah, and you cry for maybetwo minutes and then he just started goingand like start turning redand I'd be like oh my godand then he just come at me with all the powerlike the kind of like mom
43:06lifting up a car likeoff their infant like just superhuman power and so the thingthat you were remembering with my friend isthat had happened my friend Alexwas coming over that had happened you startedlike you know like buildingup the turning red and building up the thing
43:22and I just went okay and I closed the doormy friendI was like, I really have to goand my friend is hereand you just cameand he was like,hey, what do you want to do?And you came to the room
43:32fully readfull, full hope mode angerand justhunched him right in the crotch.Oh.Him, not me.I don't know why.And he was just like,
43:44oh, hey, Tyler.Oh!And he left and he was just like,why did he do that?I was like, that was my fault.I started something.that I couldn't finish.I knew how to hurt you.
43:57I knew by hurting himit would hurt youon an even deeper level.Right.Sorry, sorry.Right.Oh, my God.Where is Carly in all of this?
44:10Carly?She just like...Carly was not in the wrestling that much.She just like singingin her bedroomwith a door locked?Oh, no.She could like get in there
44:21and she would do some roughingand stuff like that.Tyler and I knew how to kind of push each other's buttons to the point where we were like,all right, let's, we got to go settle this.Whereas Carly is like, she's always been like a peacemaker.So I think when it was like, she would get into some pillow fights with us.I think I remember like getting into some pretty extreme pillow fights.It's not like fun like feathers everywhere, but like when you, when you just, you swing the pillow
44:53around until pillow becomescompacted into one endlike a swinging chain maceand you can really likeknock someone off their feet with it.Totally.Yeah.It's like, this is still a pillow fight.
45:07I know you have a bloody nosebut that's a pillow.Jason, I only really know youand from my memory of youin high school, you were quite shot.Yeah, for sure. Andwas that sort of the way that yourpersonality type was at home?
45:23or was that just something that sort of was out in the world?It was strange.I felt like sometimes I felt like I didn't know who I truly wasbecause with my friends I was like wild and crazyand would do anything.And at home I was more adventurous and let's climb somethingand let's do something.You know, let's like, and then I just,
45:44I don't know if it was like social anxiety or whatever or I just,and I think also maybe some of like the separationhappening, right as I was becominga teenager and right as I was becoming sort ofself-aware, and then I was like, well, nothing'sreal then.Who knows, what's up?Like, hey, your parents
46:05still married? Enjoy living in your fantasyworld.That's so true.Get ready for a wake-up callone day.But, yeah, I thinkI did like retreat a littlebit into myself and um and and but yeah but i i i remember like watching tyler um with his group of
46:36friends in high school and feeling like oh wow he's having a totally different experience thanthan i did so were you more were you more outgoing tyler well i i never saw jason as being shy sothat that is also sort of a news flash he was shyI knew there was likeI knew he went throughsort of the nirvanaI mean it was a huge nirvana phaseI think that had a huge impact
47:03The whole school was in a nirvana phasebut some took it more seriously than othersThat was for sure meI at one pointI was likewell here's what I'm going to doI'm going to make an oath to myselfto only wear nirvana shirts
47:16for my whole lifeevery dayyou're deepand I didI like cycled through themAnd so they were like, I still have a couple that are now like spiderweb then.They're insane.Awesome.
47:29Wow.So you just connected with that whole lifestyle.Oh, my God.That whole concept.Oh, yeah.That whole concept.I had never, it was like the music I loved, but I also, like, loved him as a person.Every interview I read, I was like, who is this guy?
47:47He's like a rock star, but he's like, oh, I'm just like, I don't know.he's like sensitive kind of yeah exactly he kind of was turned off by a lot of the bands that ialso secretly thought were gross that people were trying to get me into it camp and i was likei kind of don't like them they seem like bad people i i love the his his vision of the worldand i wish we had continued to be able to see how he like through his eyes as he matured andgot older. And I feel like I miss him. I feel like he was a friend that I, you know,I mean, I read every possible thing. I know. It's so crazy because we were the generation of likethe kids in high school with Nirvana, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and you, because I mean,
48:38you think about like what kind of impact or like what, what generation of music are you?Is really the generation where you're like growing into yourself? For sure. And we were,Nirvana and all the 90s, whether it be like grunge rock or hip hop, you know, that waswell, yeah, I went the other way. I mean, I was wearing size 40 jeerbos, like huge jeans andhill figure sweatshirts and a dance cruise. You were also like in college at this time.Yeah, yeah. I mean, you guys are younger than I was. But I don't, I don't mean to go backwards here,but I don't know if we talked about this. Why did, and maybe I'm tripping, but why did you go sointrovert. I think I
49:21I got embarrassedat howunself aware I was. I think I wasI had such a like happy childhoodand I was like oh my gosh and I alwayshad like so much enthusiasmand then it wasI just was like oh
49:37my God I'm sosorry I didn't realize that likeit was this weird thing where I justI felt so unsure of myselfand so I also likethere was a thing in the night and you kind ofwe're talking about earlier, but this thing in the 90s is about, like, being real.Like, like, if someone called you a poser, that was, like, the worst thing.
49:59So you just had to, like, you just had to do nothing.You just had to be, like, just do, just try nothing, just do absolutely nothing.That was the only safe way to be cool.Being kind of, there was, so there was some of my shyness that came from me and my uncertaintyabout the world.And then there was some shyness that was just, like, just so terrified of my peers.And I remember there was like a moment where I was in carpool and Hey Jude came on the radio and there's that line where Paul McCarney says, well, we know that for well, we know that it's the fool who plays it cool and makes the world a little colder.And I was like, yeah, it sucks.
50:34I hate it.Just like be passionate, be excited about stuff.If someone is like, you're not cool, then they're, that's boring.Like, I don't know.It like kind of opened my whole thing up a little bit where I, then I swung the other way.I'm crazy.I'll do anything.So I had to, like, kind of find, like, a middle ground.
50:57Still trying to figure it out.And I'm still trying to figure it out.But that was how I kind of, that was part of why I went so deep into, like, shyness.And it was just like, you know.Aren't these transitions, though, so fucking funny when you look back?I remember when I was, I remember my transition as well from eighth grade to ninth gradewhere I was wearing a rabid kings fanpainting my face at school
51:22wearing the same bomber leather jacket and sweatpantsI was a fucking like I didn't give a shitabout what people thought about meOh it was but then from eighth to ninth gradeSomething happened you look at my school picturesMy eighth grade school pictureI'm like oh like smiley with a bowl cutMy ninth grade school picture
51:43I'm wearing a mustard shirtI have this flop over haircutthat's like hiding one of my eyes.And I remember, I told my parents,I want all mustard and plum clothes.And I want it to be silk.And they were like, what the fuck?Why?
51:59I'm like, don't worry about why.I want mustard and plum.That's just what I want.And a fan of Clue, the board game.Yeah.Totally.Colonel and a professor.I can't decide what I want to do.
52:14It's so funny you said that because my ninth grade picture,my friend, my close friend, at the time,was like, hey man, don't smile.And I was like, oh.So you see, like, all my pictures, I'm like this.And then my ninth grade, I'm like this.Dude, that's exactly.I look like the world has just crushed me.
52:33And I couldn't be.I couldn't have been more privileged.And I'm like, you know, just face.Oh, God.Tyler, what were you like in high school?I don't think I came off super shy.I think everybody is probably more self-consciousthan they sometimes appear to be.
52:56Like, I remember all of the lonely walks in the alleyof being like, nobody likes me.But the truth is I had, the alley is where our school was.The truth is I always had a really solid group of friendswho I'm still really close with,who I always felt had my back.And we were just a really good class at Crossroads.I feel like sometimes a year can take on a personality,
53:21like your whole school year at a school that's small.And I feel like we were just like we took care of each otherand it was a generally pretty healthy year.We felt like we had built something.And it might have even stemmed from our eighth grade graduationwhere we were told that.You guys are the first year to come this farwithout any expulsions or like any serious.
53:43free suspensions, you should be really proud.Oliver got expelled.Didn't someone else get expelled too?So like two people?Scott?Scott Khan?Yeah.Scotty Khan.
53:55Scotty was like a reoccurring.Earlier.He left early.Scotty Khan's like a reoccurring character on this podcast.By the time I was there,you and Scott were both like legendary.I think I asked you about what I had heard you had gotten expelled for.You were like, you know, but I, and I, you were like, that's not, but it's pretty amazing to, like, leave behind a legacy of like, do you know, like, Scott stabbed a kid with a pencil in the leg.
54:24I got, I got caught cheating on a chemistry test and they fucking booted me.Oh, my gosh.No, but Scotty left, Scotty left earlier in like 10th grade or something, went to Beverly.Okay.All the girls loved him.So that was sort of like, you know, he was that guy.And then he, you, remember, they used to do all these, like, house dancing.I remember, like, it was really in to do, to dance, like, to hit, you know.
54:49It was called housing.Yeah, housing.And I remember seeing, like, Scotty and Ollie housing to, like, a song.I would give, I would give anything to have video of you guys, like, house, house, you know what's so cool, though, is, like, our children will have these videos.of them being fucking idiots, you know, because we will be filming them.You know, I wish that I could see video of me.I remember Kurt saying to me, you know, and I was going out to like some underage club,like ballistics.
55:24And he was like, he goes, you guys look like fools.And we're like, what are you talking about, Paul?What are you talking?He goes, you're going to look back at pictures of yourself and you'll get it.You'll get it.You're going to be like, we look like idiots.And I'm like, whatever.And, of course, we do.
55:42And we're like, I cannot even believe we left the house looking like this.There was a time, this reminds me, I don't know if you remember this,and maybe it was just too subtle.But there was a time where I went to, we went as a family to Frommons.Yeah, of course.Romans is the spot.And I decided to, in the bathroom, take my pants off and turn them backwards and pull them back up.and pull them back up.
56:09Yeah.Because that was a thing at the time.That was Chris Cross, yeah.Yeah.And so I remember walking back to the tableand kind of like, just like, go with it.Just don't be like, you know, you're trying a new thing.I don't know why I decided in the bathroom at Fralman's.
56:24It wasn't like the whole day I had.I was like in the bathroom and I was like,you're like the Jewish deli.I'm going to a stall and check it to try it up.And maybe I'll like walk out and people be like,you're like, order a blintz.You're like, order.ordering a blitz and some brisket with your, like,
56:41I know it looks strange, but my napkin is storing on the buck of my jacket.That's so funny.Like, can I have a...Trust me, I know what I'm doing.Make it a filth a fish and a pound of locks.Yeah.So, you know, make that a half pint of Monsabal.Exactly.
57:07There's like a whole, I could do, we could do a whole sketch on it.What about you guys, your relationship actually through high school, you weren't together, right?I mean, was there a split?You know what I mean?Like, you guys were homies, right?Like, in the beginning, you were, there was a strong bond.I mean, I, yeah, I think we were, you were always homies.But, yeah, there was, like, I graduated before Tyler got in ninth grade.
57:35Yeah, I think that's how that.So I was more in school with CarlyAnd Carly went to high school with both of us basicallyBut Tyler was in the middle schoolWhen I was there, right?Yeah, I guess I was in seventh grade when you graduated, yeahOh yeah, yeahAnd were you cool, were you the cool older brother
57:53Who would include the younger brotherOr were you like, let me just separate these two worlds, you know?I thinkWould you venture over to the middle schoolThat was three steps away?I don't think you did.I mean, yeah, no.I know you did for Carly.
58:13I know you really were like a protective force for Carly in high school.All right.And really stepped up the big bro game.But I don't know in middle school.I know you did perform at our senior day, like our senior, what is that?Oh, right.Senior night or whatever.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
58:32It's like the night that everybody you're like graduating high school.school everybody's drinking and you know maybe some other things and the last thing you expect is forthe bus to pull up and your entire family to be there waiting for you jason and mom and dad and jason youperformed like this incredible sketch comedy it was like with eric edelstein and i think simonyou remember i remember i was just having like a three-hour panic attack that whole night but then itwas like everybody thought it was the coolest thing in the world and then you knowEveryone's like, your brother's the funniest guy ever.It's so cool.
59:08Oh, that's awesome.Yeah.But I don't know.In middle school, I think that's just too big of an age difference.Yeah.Just like not a whole lot to.But at home, we would like, you know, we played a lot of video games together.We would go outside.
59:22We would play around.And then it was sort of like when we had our friends over, it was kind of like,you did your thing.Now it's friend time.Yeah.When did you start to engage in the performing arts, Jason?And then Tyler, what made you want to get into it as well?Jay, you want to start first?
59:42Sure, yeah.So I really wanted to do it when I was like a little kid.And then when I turned that corner and got super shy, I grew my hair out of it.I was like, nobody look at me.I'll just play bass.And I'll just join the jazz band and I'll do music and I'll just be in the corner.And then it was actually like DeVita Will's.Herwin, she asked me to audition for, like, the fundraiser for Crossroads, and I forgot to,
01:00:13and she gave me a tiny, tiny little part anyway, because I had worked, when I was seven,I did an upper school production of Pippen when I was, like, in the elementary school,and she remembered me from there, and she's like, hey, you should, you know, come and join.And from that little fundraiser, I remembered, like, how much fun I had doing it and how much Iactually loved it, and from that point on, I just was like, okay, I think I, I want to do this.So, Ty, how did you sort of...Well, I guess my, how it started for me was in 10th grade, when everybody started getting theirdriver's license, jackass came out, and that became like our religion.
01:00:59And so the, you know, the warning at the beginning of the show where they're like, please don'ttribe these are professionals yeah i felt like that was for us we did all of that stuff and we had justlike i didn't have a cell phone i don't think until i was maybe 17 um but a couple of my friends hadyou know they could bring out like their big camera and so we would film all this stuff and thenjust watch it like amongst ourselves and laugh um but i think as a result of that one of my friendsthought it would be funny to prank me and sign me up sort of like how davida recommended youfor the play, this friend of mine, Clay in high school,who was new to Crossroads that year,
01:01:38just thought it would be funny to write my name infor an ideal husband.And the director came and saw, she was like,hey, you know, she knew I played baseball for Crossroads,and she was like, you know, I know you're busy with baseball,but I'm so excited that you're, you know,embracing the theater and that you want to be a part of this play.And I was just like, yeah, okay.
01:01:58I had no idea.I didn't find out that he had done it until we were deep in,rehearsals and I was just going along like I don't know if she just did some reverse psychology onme but I have so much fun doing that play and it stuck with me but still this was alwaysJason and dad and Tex and mom and you know it was their sort of territory and it just felt likeit would be sort of an overt saturation uh if I were to go in and and I don't know I guess myrebellious, I wouldn't say it was rebellious, but I just, I was just sort of floating around,bouncing off of different ideas. And, uh, and I always had friends who were involved. So my roommate
01:02:42for three years in college, uh, was in film was studying film the whole time. So we made abunch of student films. And I was always, you know, in those. But it was just sort of a fun sidehobby. And then it wasn't until, um, I, I moved to Argentina after.college where I met my wifeand she acted in musical theaterand she convinced me to getan agent to do commercial work. I was teachingby the time I did this I was teaching at a middle school
01:03:13but it was only about half of the day and she was likeyou know she had been going out for commercials while she was on break.In Argentina.In Argentina she was like I think you could workas an actor in Argentinaand I would go and audition in Spanishand at the time my Spanish was horrible and I would just comeout with these ridiculously self-deprecating stories, and that became, like, part of my socializing
01:03:37in Argentina. People would be like, what did you do yesterday? And I was like, so I guess I accidentallywrote down that I could break dance, and I had to break dance and sing in Spanish, two things I couldnot do. But I did. I booked a couple of courses. I started, like, working and getting goodfeedback. And, yeah, Jason did have a role. I think when I decided to, so I was in Argentina,for three years. And I decided to move back to L.A. and, you know, go full force in the actingworld. And Jason, I don't know if you remember, but we had a really long, kind of serious talkabout it. And you were just 100% supportive and 100% sure that it was, you know, that it wasgoing to work out, that it's a hard road. And it's not easy, but that you, like, thought that I
01:04:24had what it took and that it was the right path. I mean, it was like everything you could want tohear from your older brother who's a role model and that's awesome i just you know i've always looked up toyou as a brother but as an actor it was it was everything i i needed to hear um and our and our sistercarly was a huge factor in that as well because before i moved back to los angeles to do it she shehad been doing some marie condo at our mom's house this is before marie condo was around but she wasdoing like just spring cleaning at the house and i remember we were talking and she waslike, you know, I came across this letter that was a letter that I had written to my futureself. And she was like, and it said, don't open. Like, this is for when you're, you know, like,
01:05:10in your 40s or whatever. And she was like, so of course I opened it and I read it and I justcouldn't believe. She started telling me all these things I had written when I was like in ninthgrade or whatever. But she was like, you started talking about how if baseball didn't work outthat you wanted to be an actor. And she was like, I never knew that about you. And I rememberher telling me that and being like, oh my God, I did. That is a part of me. And that was maybe before Istarted feeling like there maybe wasn't room or that it wasn't my path. And so I remember thatbeing a little green light. I feel like maybe I subconsciously just needed some green lights.Well, when you said there wasn't any room or you felt like there wasn't any room, like what is that
01:05:49feeling? You know what I mean? Because that's not really a rational thought. It's more of aninsecurity. It's definitely an insecurity. But,Jason had been acting since, you know,he did his first play at Crossroadswhen he was in first grade.You know, like it was just always in his bonesand he was always so greatand worked so hard and went to school for it.
01:06:11And I just, that was like, in my mind,that's what you had to do to be a working actor.And so it was just like, well, that ship sailed.And then, you know,and then you sort of start to hear that, you know,I think I was 20, I was 25 when I moved back.and I just had my mindsetI was like I'm just going to get into a couple different studios
01:06:33and just go every day and just see if I can catch upand you knowDid you ever feel the pressure?I know Kate's going to roll our eyesbecause I always talk about this shitwhen we deal with two actorsyou know one who is perceivably more successful than the otherbecause essentially I'm a successful actor
01:06:50but when you compare myself to my familyyou know that's just the reality of it rightIs there anything in you that is sort of, you know...Oliver's the least successful actor in the family.Right.That's a better way of looking at it.Is there a part of you that feels black sheepishor that needs to like sort of do something to prove yourself
01:07:11even though it may not be rational?And you know that it's coming from a, you know,not the greatest place, but is that ever a part of your feeling?I imagine it's deep in there.But I also, I am so...lucky that I have a hard time letting those thoughts override anything else, just in the sense oflike, and it's even true in grade school, like the number of times I got into a class and it waslike, oh my gosh, you're Jason and Carly's younger brother? And I would see that reaction and be like,
01:07:42this is going to be a nice year for me. But anyway, just going back to it, Tyler, like, so,you know, you felt lucky to have your older siblings, but has there, but no feelings of sort of thatI want to become something.I want to be what they are or, you know what I mean?Like any of that?Yeah.You know, I think as far as like fame goes that, I think we saw our, as we talked aboutat the very beginning, we saw our dad sort of trying to duck out of that for so much
01:08:15of our lives that it, fame in itself never really called to me in that way.I mean, it freaks me out more than anything, the idea of not having any privacy.So that doesn't necessarily call to me.Being successful, obviously does, and wanting to be working and, like, the number of conversations you have where it's like, so what are you doing now?And you just have nothing.It's a horrible feeling.And I remember, like, when I was expecting my son, I was having my first child and I didn't have a job lined up.And I was like, this for me isn't like, it's such a huge.
01:08:53integral part to being a dad. I feel like, I have to have something. And I remember talking to ourmom about it. And she was like, you know, there are a lot of those things that you have wrapped up inyour head that are not true, you know? You don't have to have a job lined up to be a good dad.And, you know, at that point, I was like spiraling a little bit. I remember being like,I can't fix anything either in the kitchen. She was like, you think your dad can fix a toilet? He couldn'tdo jack squat, you know. But I definitely have, I think I just, you know, the fear would beto not be working, but I don't, I don't truly find myself, you know,I don't find myself measuring myself up against Jason or dad or anything,
01:09:34all the while knowing that if anything, it's helped me get as far as I am.So there's always a sense of gratitude.But I also got a show pretty early on.I remember hearing from a couple of producers when I first got to L.A.,they were like, you're not going to work for five years.Just be prepared.I actually, I think I was one of the people who said.I was like, listen, bro, I'm so into this.
01:10:01I'm so excited for you.I just want to warn you, there's a lot of rejection.It's a lot of pain.You've seen me struggle through these things.And then he's like, oh, I got a pilot.I was like, look, they don't always get picked up.They's like, oh, I got picked up.And I was like, well, you can get recast.
01:10:19Any number of things.And I thought, and I was like,I'll do this.And I think, you know, I, I think there's also an element.I've talked to, like, a bunch of people.There's, there's, there's, there's, there's so many different things that come that, like,irrational spheres.There's also, I think, I think when Tyler and I were having that original conversation,
01:10:41one of the things that I was thinking was like, if, if, if he were to just, like, zoom way ahead of me,like howlike I just want him to know thatI would be so excited about thatand comfortable with thatand not that's how I look at it likeahead or but whatever likesometimes that can be a challenging thing too
01:11:05where like you know I know people who areartists, musicians, actorswho have become more successful than their parents wereand it's complicated for themlike it's andand so I think it's liketo just be likeYou know, we all have our own journeys.
01:11:22And it is weird when there's, like, a similar journey or a relative father or a brother, you know.And, like, I remember going into rooms, like, you know, for sitcoms, especially, and then be like, before you start, just want to tell you, your dad would open his mouth and we would all be rolling on the front of giving us.God.I'm like, oh, well, first of all, that sounds awful.Who cleaned it up?they're like and actionyeah yeah exactlyand I'd be like
01:11:53I'm not going to measure upI'm not going to measure upsoso you know it's likeyou knowit's a strange thingto have to deal withbut I think the more
01:12:03that you can just likeand I think that the conversationthat Tyler and I hadat that time was just likethe sooner you canlet that stuffgo like the betterbecause I tanked
01:12:15only recentlyhave I startedbeen able to likework in some comedystuff because I just tanked all those auditionsbecause my hands would start shakingand I wouldn't be able to be likefree I just would be like
01:12:25here's my wild characteryou know likejust like humiliate myselfand then leave and imaginethat that casting director for yearsis like I remember how sad thatwas when that guy came inand how embarrassing for him
01:12:44and how much shame he brought to his familynone of us pooped our pantsNot one of us.Well, my underwear is clean, so I guess we'll call you.So funny, dude.It's so true.Oh, God.Stupid shit that you put in your mind.
01:12:59Well, it's also, you know what must be really interesting.I'm looking at your guys' faces and Jason.You know, you would think that you look so much like your dad.But then you see Tyler, and Tyler actually looks like a lot like your dad, you know?Yeah.So it must be interesting for like any casting director when they've kind of been in,you're saying casting, like you've been in there.They're like, oh, God, he looks so much like this father.
01:13:26Then all of a sudden, like five years later comes, you know, the younger brother.And they're like, oh, my God.Right.Yeah.I did have that experience in one of my very first auditions.And I've heard a lot of Jason's stories.And he had braced me a little bit that can be startling or it can throw you off your game a little bit.but I remember specifically walking into one room
01:13:49and she was like okay and oh my goshoh I thoughtI'm sorry I thought your dad just walked in the roomoh my god oh my god and I was just like ohI can leave or how do we remedy thisand of course yeah I get comedy you knowso I have heard that a good amountyeah the other the other thing that can be intense
01:14:11is like that so like you knowwith his passing peopleyou know, that shared tragedy thing that we were talking about before, you know, you move on,you have this hole in your heart and you move on and you're having an okay time in your lifeand you're not necessarily thinking about it. And then sometimes you go into a casting roomand they're just like grab your arm and their eyes well up and they're just like, oh my God,I just, right now, right now we're doing this. Are you okay? Can I, I'll hug you.Yeah, isn't that interesting?
01:14:45You're like, this is my dad and I'm, you know.Let me help you mourn him.How do you guys deal with that, though?You know, because it's so true, there are moments, I mean,it probably continues on to this day where it's just that it's so fucking constant, you know,and you have to be cordial, I guess, or is it ever just like, you guys, we're good, we're good, we're good.I kind of want to rewind to this because you guys were so.so young like so you're 23 your career's just starting jason and you're just graduating high school
01:15:20and your dad i mean it was sudden could you with as much as you feel comfortable sort of take usthrough what that was like for you guys and then maybe even pairing it with sort of the theme ofthis show you know it's like when your siblings you carly and and Tyler the boys it's likehow does how do you come together in that moment as well you know well youYou had just had a trip with him where you...He had just dropped me off at college for my first freshman semester.And so we had spent that week exploring Philly and going to games and just taking me around.And it was sort of this...
01:16:02You know, I think one thing that probably we all did in a certain respect...I mean, I even remember, like, the next day, already starting to look for reason and meaningand I think as you doand whether it's sudden loss or overa period of time. But I remember feelinglike, you know,like I'm starting school.Jason is on this like an incredible
01:16:24like a spiritual show.Carly's graduating school.Noah at the time was fiveand that was there was justit was just full devastation.And I definitely put a lot ofI think my own grief on worrying for him.But I do think that there was a lot
01:16:40of like maybe the universe,know, it was his time and, and, like, trying to find some solace in, like, this is how it wassupposed to be, and we had this incredible moment, and then it was a send-off, and now I'm like,and that lasts you for as long as you need it, and then you come to terms with, you know,either you stick with that, or you, you know, you gradually sort of dig away at it and getto other truths and make peace with that, as you may. But the one thing,I will say before I let Jay go is I remember like one of the feelings was I'll never feel like I'llnever laugh again like I'll never and not because he was such a source of laughter but just because
01:17:27the pain was was so great and I don't even really remember what you said but I remember we had allgotten back to Los Angeles from our corners and you you said some you made some joke about it II mean, about the situation and how fucked up it was.And we all, it was like a hysterical laughter.And I remember in that moment being like, it's going to be okay.We're going to get through this and we're going to laugh.And I think in that moment, also Jason like assumed the role of, you know, kind of the man of the family.And, you know, I at least definitely started following that lead and tried to introduce humor where I could.
01:18:11I think I way overreach.Like I rememberI remember with my friends,the first time all our friends came overto sort of be together.I was just like trying to make everybody laughand I remember two people like breaking downand having to run out.
01:18:25Being like, whoa, tough crowd.But like really trying to bury that down.Just because it had workedwhen Jason did it for me,I thought maybe I could help other people out.Right.Right.Oh, man.
01:18:38Yeah, it was, yeah, it was,it's weird.because one of the first things that happens is you're like,what was the last thing?What was the last thing I, you know,and then, like, for me, he had gotten back from that trip.Like, earlier in the week, we had gone to see the medallion,which was the movie with Jackie Chan and Claire Forlani, I believe.
01:19:00He went back, we went back home.He gave me, like, a little candle that I still have.And then, yeah, it was really sudden.You know, I just got a call, and I, my mom and I went to the hospital, and then it all went down, and we found out that he didn't make it, which seemed like impossible.It just seemed like, what in the world?How did this happen?And then the worst part was then having to call Carly and Tyler and tell them.Oh, so you were the one you told them.
01:19:35You told your stuff.The way that it worked was my, my mom called.No, I called.I had to break the newsand then I passed the phone to my momwho wasmaking travel arrangements for them to come backbecause they were both had just been dropped off
01:19:53at college by mom and dad.So, yeah.And I mean, it's just like it's the worst newsyou could ever give to someonein the middle of the night.How do you even process something like that?Does something take over that is sort of unworldly, in a sense, just a survival instinct?There are weird things that happen that feel otherworldly.
01:20:19Because it feels like you're, you know, like in the upside down from stranger things or something.You're just like, I do not recognize any of this.And everything seems offensive to you.Like the sun going down, you're like, oh, really?Just keep on doing your life.Like, you just rise and set every day.Like, it's all normal.but but then like that whole month the sunsets were like so beautiful
01:20:44it was like I just was like making up my own thing and I was like oh that's so coolthey like they let dad paint the sunsets this month I don't know if that's probably not how it worksbut like you know you you like hold on to these things and then and then you look for you talk toother people people have different ways of dealing with tragedy and people give you adviceand you're like that doesn't quite work for me or this worksAnd the thing that really worked for me was,or the first, like, rock that I kind of held on towas what Tyler was sort of talking about,
01:21:15this sort of perspective-shifting idea for me of,instead of what it felt like and what it is in a lot of ways,which was, like, reading your favorite bookand then getting to a certain point in the last six chapters were ripped out.And you're like, what?And trying to sort of look.at it as like, this is the whole story now. This was the book, actually. There's no uselike trying to think about those chapters that we won't get to read. Now, like, you have to find
01:21:50the beauty in the chapters that you have. And it was this quote that I, that I heard aroundthe time, which was a Kierfegard quote, I think, is the most painful state of being isremembering the future, particularly one you can never have. I was like,oh that's all i've been doing i keep on remembering the future i keep on going oh i remember thati was planning on doing this i wanted to do this i wanted you know like and and it's a it's sort ofit's like this way of self- torture even though it feels like kind of nice because you'reimagining those things you're and um yeah so like it was i mean it was just it was suchchaos and and and like humor helps sometimes but then you have to remember
01:22:36like where other people are in it and all the stuff.Actually, earlier in this podcast, when you were saying, oh, for divorce, like, you gotto be like, oh, dad's going away for two weeks.I want to be like, that's what we did with my dad's pasting.And I like, I stopped myself.I'm not, we're not doing.We're not hearing of wrong.Well, that's like, actually he's got, yeah, he should be.
01:23:06Well, he just got to late.Well, it's like, Tyler, Tyler, just, he was all,he was too soon with his own father, with his friends.And all of his friends were like, Tyler, that's fucking offensive, too.Yeah, yeah.There's a line, man.Yeah, exactly.Oh, but what about the three of you coming together?
01:23:26I mean, when you all first saw each other,was it, would it feel good in the sense that you could be together and, you know, or.Ty, you saw Carly before you saw us.Yeah.that that like is burned into my brain forever seeing her face was like confirmation of everything it waslike the nightmare is real yeah it was the nightmare is real and it's also carly who we both justlove so deeply and who's so uh just so open and vulnerable and loving and trusting andhad a view was so so close with that as we all were but you know she had her own
01:24:06very justyou know connection to him that wasunique and somy heart like just shattered even morefor her and recognizing that it wasreal and then we were in the airport waitingfor our plane and it was on the newsplaying above us
01:24:21and it was justyeah so there was a lot ofyeah a lot of weirdhaving to kind of dance around it becauselike Jason was sayingevery time you would need to take a breakfrom it like I prettyquickly went back to school. I felt like I had to just screw my head back on and get distracted.
01:24:40But I would also see, I felt like I was Pepe Lapeue walking through campus because I could seepeople laughing and recognize me and they had heard that I was at the school and like get reallysomber, you know, because I was walking by and not want to laugh. And I was like, oh my God,I'm like this walking wake of depression, which was also, I'm sure I invented some of it in my ownmind, but I don't know what I would have done with those kinds of experiences or, you know,a lot of the, I don't think I had an appreciation for his impact. I don't think I had everconsidered what his presence felt like for so many people. And it took years and years andyears before I could put myself in one of those people's shoes who would come up to me
01:25:29and say, that was so hard for me.You know, and I'd be like, are you out of your, the only reason I can, I can stay sane in this moment is because I know I'm about to call Jason and Carly and be like, you won't believe what this person. And then as I matured and I like really was more comfortable engaging that conversation and saying like, oh, well, you know, why do you think that was? Or yeah, like, you know, just hearing it out. I met a lot of people who learned English from watching him. They were like he, I could understand him and he was fun and light and people who felt.like they grew to love our country because of, you know, there were like these reallife-changing impacts that he had. And I, it was just another facet that I got to sort offind another angle of connection to him. I got to experience him. And what a luxury that isto get to hear so many stories about him through other people. And now being an actor inL.A., every job I have, there's at least one person who has a story with him. And they're allyou know, if he wasn't with the kids, he never turned anyone away is what I've kind of come to
01:26:38understand. I don't know if you've learned that too, Jay, but every time someone tells me a storywhere they, like, he gave up a seed on the plane or, you know, he like gave them his book that hehad just finished or these things that I'm like, oh, that was not how he was when we were out inpublic. I'm starting to build this other angle of him, which is a huge luxury and definitelyis healing and helpful.There was, well, two things.One thing is, what's a strange sort of thing is that, like, you know,there's a lot of parallels between the way he grew up and the way we grew up and his dad and stuff.
01:27:12And his dad also died young.And there was a story that, like, made us laugh and he made us laugh throughout our whole childhood where his dad had passed.He went back to work.There was a guy who was, like, sort of a Mr. Cool guy who went into him and I heard about your dad.Condoles.He's like, oh.just didn't have time to say the whole word,I'm just on the move.
01:27:35And that made us laugh forever.And there was a time where I was with Melanieand we were out at a bar or at a restaurant or somethingand this woman who's near on the corner,she turned around.She went, oh my God, I just realized who you are.I, like, I loved your dad.I miss him so much.
01:27:51And she went, RIP.And then she turned around.Oh, my God.And Melanie was like shocked, silent.And to her,back, I went to her back.I just went, well, first of all, thank you for, you know, bringing it up, you know,along with my closest friends, I'm too scared to bring up something so I don't even think
01:28:11Melanie and I had really talked about it, but like, you know, it's just like,sometimes people's like, this thing, like, RIP and then, like, not even, like, lookingto see my reaction.It's so hilarious to us, but, um.Oh, God.But, yeah, I actually, I do remember, I don't even know if I told you this guy, but, like,There's one story that I heard about dad that, like, was not good.This guy comes to me, and then he was like, hey, I know your dad.
01:28:39And I was like, oh, yeah?I was like, the first time I had, like, a weird energy.Yeah, I knew you, dad.Yeah, he got me fired from a show.He was like, what?He was like, yeah.He got me fired because I was too handsome.I was like, are you sure it didn't have anything to do with the fact that you're clearly
01:28:58arranging outside?Like, coming up to me and telling me that my dad, like, I just was like, I'm, I don't think this is a story.Oh, my God, that's an amazing story.The idea that, like, everything that I know about my dad, like, the fact that he'd be like, listen, this guy's two-handsful, he's got a dog.I'm just like, what that guy had to do in his brain to be like, I probably got fired because of all this.Imagine the scene your dad's like, can someone get the AD?Can someone find a baby?Hey, listen, this guy's got to go.
01:29:35I can't concentrate.I'm just falling in love every minute I stare at his beautiful face.This guy's way too handsome.It was so funny because, like, I've never heard,I've never seen anybody come up to me with that kind of energy about my dad.And so at first I was like wildly thrown off.And then I was like, oh, no, no, okay.Now I get it.
01:29:55I think this is your problem.Yeah.How do you even respond to something like that?You're like, I was like, I don't think he would have, I don't, I don't think heever really exercised that power.Oh, God.Wow.It's so disconnected and hilarious.
01:30:13Was there a moment when you guys like felt like, okay, this, we're good.You know, we're going to get through it.We're going to get through it.You knew that, but it was like you found the other side in a way.I think, you know, I think.like the thing like that really likeit makes you sort oftighten all the
01:30:34ropes on the raftsomething like that's a terriblemetaphor but I love it I'm going to use itI'm likewhat ropes do you tightenwhat kind of raft is iteverything I know about rafttells me there's ropes and sometimes they get loose
01:30:53but the raft doesn't singare we talking it's just a little max so sadI feel like we're in the Tom Sawyer type of raft.It's sort of what it is.It's an old school raft.It's like, yeah.It's like, old school.Yeah, not like a inflatable.
01:31:08No, no, no, right, right.Those are, those ropes are just to hold on.Yeah, I think, I think, you know, I think it's like a thing where you start to realize that, you know, it's never going to be the same.It's never going to be okay.But that the people around you will be there in the.those moments that it like just knocks you out again because like it's so bizarre it's so bizarreum like well i don't know like last this last year um i was watching queer eye and there was anepisode where this guy um was coming out to his stepmom his dad had passed away it wasn't you know
01:31:49there's nothing like aside from the father passing away there's nothing like my story and and yet likeI felt like sort of weird.Like I felt like I had taken vitamins and not, like I felt like lightheaded.I was like, what is going on?And then I was like doing the dishes.And then all of a sudden just like over the dishwasher, I was just like, oh.That's like, that's right.And it's just, I was like, oh my God.
01:32:12I kind of thought I had like gotten over this.But it's just still there like waiting for those moments that something comes up.And it's just like still all there.But my brother is here.are my sisters here, both of my brothers, my mom, you know, like my family at home, my friends,like there are the people, I think that's what you start to really take stock of is everyone who'sstill here and everyone who, you know, will be there for you in those moments.The healing process, I think, takes maybe forever.
01:32:50And it is.It's like those roadblocks and also those like incredibly happening.They're both sort of the ripe moments for that stuff to be like,are you so happy?Don't you wish someone could see you like that?Because again, like we grew up.Dad talked to us all the time.Your grandfather would have loved you guys.
01:33:15We never got to meet him, but he would have loved you guys.My sister has two kids and Tyler has two and I have one.But how lucky, but how lucky.are you and how lucky are your kids that they get to see their grandfather that we grew up in a businessand he was famous and an actor and he did however many hundreds of episodes of of uh you know three's companyand then everything else he's done they get to experience him you know and while it's not in personthat is a deep part of his personality you know i mean we watch we watch westerns with uh our grandfather and grandmotherI have a couple vinyl records of texts where I have a children's record where he's singing children's songs that my son loves.
01:34:03Wow.And I have another record where he is giving a backstory to every song.So there are days where we're sitting around and he's hearing his, you know, great-grandfather tell him stories.And that just blows my mind.But, yeah, like you said, it's a side of them.The loss is just, you know.It's always going to be there.But I do think in those moments that it hits you,
01:34:27there is like a, when you get through the major waves of griefwhere it's hard to navigate,it has sort of that centering to it.Where I think like, oh, man, we saw,so our dad was like a diehard Beatles fan.That was like his, you know, his higher power.And Dodgers.It was like, for me, our big connection was baseball.
01:34:53and like Beatles was his gift.Like he could tell us about every songwhere it all came from.And my wife and I this last yearsaw Paul McCartney at Dodger Stadiumwhen Ringo Star came outand they joined up together.And it was like every emotion you could feel.
01:35:12I just felt for there was a whole row of kidsin front of us and they were just like,who is this grown man behind us?Crying and like screaming out to Paulfrom the nose blades.When Paul's like,Who has tried to learn how to play Blackbird on guitar?And the three kids were like, we all have.
01:35:27And I was like, me, Paul.But like what, it was as close to a, like, religious awake.I'm not very religious.I don't have, you know, I can't say I've had many experiences like that.But I try to think in that moment what this would have been like.If then afterwards, I called my dad and was like,Oh my God, that was amazing.I saw Paul with Doug.
01:35:55And it would be one experience.The experience I had was, you know, bigger than anything I could describe, you know.So there is, you just start feeling these other levels of gratitude and joy, you know, like the...Do you ever feel him?I do.So a lot of people had been telling me to brace myself for when Benjamin was born.And I did.I think I actually did.
01:36:20I was like, oh, this is great.Like, I'm feeling really good with my son and, like, my dad would have been great, but I hadn't had that moment for like a couple months.And, you know, I was talking to my wife, Lelu, about it.And she had some really great idea.She was like, you know, maybe the idea of a father-son relationship has just always been tragic for you.And now you're getting to redefine it as the father.And maybe that's like a healthy.And I think she's right.
01:36:46I think I was experiencing that.And then there was just one random night, you know, and this is after months.and months of putting him down.And I just felt like he was in the room.And it was maybe for two secondsthat I was like, oh, my God, he's here.And then it was the realizationthat either he was or he wasn't.
01:37:05It's almost too much to bearthat he's not able to meet these childrenthat he would have loved so much.Oh, my God.Yeah.But yeah, that was a moment.I have a lot of dreams.You know, there was a lot of dissecting dreams.
01:37:18Oh, really?Oh, I love that.I love that.lot of stuff that you can't kind of like prove either way or like have a hunch.There are things that like there isn't a truth and a non-truth and things like that.But there are other things like this is sort of gray area where it's like an idea or a frame of mindor a way to look at something and perspective shift.And you can just sort of, I've always been like, well, what way makes me feel better?
01:37:44What way?Like if I look at the world and I'm like, oh, everything's been decided beforehand or we have free willand we can do, we can change our destiny and things like that.I don't know which way is the real way if there is one,but one certainly makes me feel super depressed,and one makes me feel like,way better.I want to work hard and try hard and change things.
01:38:07And so I think, like, a lot of things like that,and I, you know, I love every time I have a dream about him.I mean, they're usually, like, super strange.and usually in them I'm just like trying not to cryI'm like I'm wasting time by cryingand I'm like and he's like what is what are you okayI'm like yeah it's just it's hard to explain to youbut I don't know how much time you have
01:38:37I just like I'm just trying to like talk to youand it's super bizarre but then like every once in a whileanytime I see something sort of absurdthat like makes me laughthat'll be, I'm like, oh, I felt like you orchestrated that.So fucking great.What a great legacy to leave for you guys.The absurdity, because, I mean, I love the absurd.
01:39:01It's just so fun.And, you know, I honestly try to instill the absurd into my kids by just being, you know.Yeah.And if you can look at the absurd and think of your dad, I mean, that's a great fucking gift, I think.And I love what you said, Jay, about the book.I'd never thought about that sort of.analogy and that is very comforting even to me who hasn't lost a parent but the idea that we'resort of futureizing when there is no reason to i mean yeah this is just the end of the book and that's
01:39:32okay you know what i mean like yeah this is just what it was there there is nothing elseyou know what i mean like that's a that's a that's an interesting concept and one that if you cansort of grasp i can i can see how that can be comforting in a way yeah it's i mean it'sbecause there's a part of you just like,well, I still want to see those chappers out.But, like, the more you can be like,I'm not going to see those junkers.I can't.
01:39:59I would love to.There are none.They have not even been written.Exactly.Exactly.So that's the ending.It was unsatisfying to you when you got to it.But now, reread the book in your mind and go,
01:40:17oh, my God, I got that moment.And some people don't get that moment.And, you know, like, I got this day and this week and, you know, whatever it is.It's, you know.Well, thank you guys for talking about that.You know, I know.Yeah, yeah.It's so important.
01:40:35And I think, too, you know, so many people lose their parents, young and siblings, young, and, you know, people in their life.And I think when people talk about their experience with something that is very tragic,that it helps so many people feel better about because a lot of people, you know,it says a lot about your parents that you're able to sort of like lean on each other and likeyou said, like be able to look into the future.Your future is bright to know that life goes on and that your dad would want you to move on.Like clearly you know that.I think it's a nice thing for people to just feel like their experience is relatable to others.
01:41:18Yeah, absolutely.Okay, let's do the speed round.Ready?Okay, one word to describe the other.I would say, and I know I said this with dad, but I would say depth also.I think you can go so deep, as you guys have heard, with Jason on any topic, and he goes right there with you.So I would say a depth, like a, I'm going to make it too, but like a creative depth.I'm going to hyphenate lionhearted.
01:41:46Tyler has one of the biggest heartsI've ever seenI feel like he's who Iam pretending to be out in the worldThat's awesomeWho's more athleticBut Jason's fasterSo it depends on your definition
01:42:04Who's more competitiveThat's a tough oneI think maybe TylerI think maybe Tyler although I alsoget extremeI think you play super competitive, but I think Jason's just happier if everybody's engagedin having a good time.But I think I hate losing more than Jason hates losing.
01:42:29Who's funnier?Jason.I've died.For sure.Okay.Yeah.I got like 80% of my sense of humor is like straight from Jason.So like we were talking about tri-lams.
01:42:46I mean, how many movies that you pass down to me that, like,and you're just, I mean, he is literally the funniest person I know.That's true.That's very good.Thank you, sir.Who, but who can deliver the better punchline?Jason.I don't know.
01:43:04For sure.I can't stop smiling when I'm trying to tell a joke.I give it away, like, before I even start setting it up, I'll start giving it away.That's funny.No poker.face.Who has more stage fright?Who gets more nervous, even on sets or between, or, you know?
01:43:24I don't know.I actually, I don't know if I've ever asked you about that time.I know I get it.Do you get nervous?I get so nervous, yeah.But I've learned to be like, okay, that's like my little friend because I would startto get nervous if I was just like, I'm going to be brilliant.I feel like the nervousness drives me to, like, care a little bit more.
01:43:45I love that feeling before you get out on a stage.Yeah, it's like a love-hate thing.I'm like, oh, my God.There's always a part that's like,there's the exit door.You could just run.You could just run and never stop.Yeah, totally.
01:44:01I would imagine I do because I'm newer to the game.And I definitely, before going on stage every time,I'm like, oh my God, I don't think I know any of the lines.And then I'm like, wait, no, I think I do.Oh, there they are.Okay, we're good.But, like, there's always a moment where it's like, this is going to be horrible.Yeah.
01:44:20But I've learned to have a friendly relationship with that, with those bad thoughts.Probably equal.Who has better taste in music?Jason.I would say Tyler, for sure.No, what?Yeah, Tyler, dude, I will obsess about one band for, Melanie is always like, this band.I'm like, who?
01:44:41And she's like, oh, right, because in the 90s, you only listen to Nirvana.I'm like slowly learning that there's other bands beyond like Nirvana,the Pixies, Bright Eyes, Bill to Spill.All bands that I love because you pass them down to me.I think that's true.I probably have listened to a wider array,but your knowledge of music and you were just more musical as well.Like you played instruments and you're deeper in the world.
01:45:11But I do listen to a lot of music.How about who?What decade do you think your brother would thrive most in?Like, for each other?Oh, boy.1890.I think he would have been an incredible,his mustache last week would have been.
01:45:30You had an amazing mustache.You should not have let that go.That's a great question.I think the 2020s.Oh, really?He's a current boy.Wow.Yeah, he's just getting better and better.
01:45:46And then 2030 is the downward spiral.I can see you rocking the 70s.You would have been on the front lines for the right causes.And with the long hair, yeah, yeah, yeah.Oh, yeah.There's a little about the 70s that makes me uncomfortable.Who cries easier?I might, I mean, I cry pretty easy.
01:46:12I almost criedI got pretty closeon this very podcastSo you win this oneI went this jobYeahWho got better grades growing upJason
01:46:26I got pretty goodYeah Jason was a solid studentOkayWho calls the other moreTylerI callWell we textWe're yeah I feel like we
01:46:38Yeah we're more of a textingWe're text and then we meet upNow we're doing a little more Zoomit's a lot of like you up you want to play this game let's do it have a kid to sleep yeah we're all on the headsetokay who's the better dancer tyler for sure hands down no question i may have helped and inspirethe chaos the pure chaos and joy of dancing without moves but then tyler took that andadded some serious moves who's your first celebrity crushDrew Barrymore
01:47:14Oh yeahThat was a big one for youThat was a big one for meYeahLike but from likeWhen I was likeEight and I sawOr no like five
01:47:23And I saw E.TAnd I was like whoThis is myWe're destinedRightOh manYeahIf we go back to like being
01:47:31Little kidsYeahJessica Rabbit was a bitBut I thinkSelma HayekWas my first realHumanShe was my first human
01:47:40OhTylerTylerthere. Selma Hyac is like...And desperado, remember that?That's what it was. I think it was desperado.I was like, well, it's it.She doesn't know it yet, but we're pretty much together.
01:47:52Wow.Yeah.Oh, my goodness.Cindy Lopper was a close second one.Interesting.She's like your mom's age.Yeah, I actually had a dreamwhere we were married.
01:48:05And in my dream, I was 20,and she was the 90.Like, the age difference had...It was, like, not what it really, like, it would be totally fine now.Like, I, but in my 10-year-old mind, I was like,why did I make this promise to myself and why did the universe grant this wish?I didn't think this through.It's still would have been awesome.
01:48:26I like, I like this one.If you were casting someone as your brother, who would it be?Oh, whoa.Paul Rudd?It's just like so.Paul Rudd.It's actually really good.That's like he says that.
01:48:45Maybe Dax Jeopard.Oh, that's really cool.Interesting.I love Dax.I like this one.Who makes the best first impression?I think Tyler makes the best first impression.I would guess you do.
01:49:00No, you definitely do.I can sometimes rub people in like a...And I've been learning this recently.I'm like...That I can sometimes come off as...like a little bit of a douchebagI think is likeyeah it really sucks
01:49:19I feel like Jay like is the one that all the parentslove like oh my god Jason's such a great boyyeah you know he's a kid like he's so sweethe's just so so sweetyeah I had to take an improv classand I had to fill in in another class I didn't know anyoneand afterwards they like all went out for drinksand I guess I went out with them
01:49:43and like after two hoursthey were like, whoa, you're actually like a nice guyand I was like what?They were like, yeah, you just sort of seem likea no-it-all douchebagand I was like that. It was the first time I had heard thatand it was just so straight to my face.I haven't thought about that.
01:49:58Oh, God.That's the worst impression.That sticks with you.Never would have ever put those words to your...Oh, my way.Who's the most adventurous?I was sure we're both pretty adventurous.maybe me just by virtue of the older brother like come on let's go
01:50:17who would go skydiving we've both been skydiving oh coolbut tyler went solo i went before you i guess yeah who's gonnaand like a sketchier playing so maybe maybe that's me out of that one who's gonna who'sgonna be who's gonna survive who's gonna be the survivalist actually let's put it this wayWho's going to last longer on, like, naked and afraid?I was a hiking counselor, so I had to do wilderness training.Oh.Yeah, I would say time, for sure.
01:50:52Okay.But Jason, like, if we'd get into, like, a gaming world, you're so resourcefuland you're really good at, like, taking in a lot of information and finding the right way.I just, like, run straightforward into walls until I break through something.So I'm a little more impulsive.So probably Jason again.We're really bad at the speed round.I feel like we have to justify every.
01:51:16It's called the justification round.Okay.All right.You asked them the last question we asked.So we asked us to everyone who comes on the show.It's a two-part question.If you could take something from your brother to have as your own,you know, something that you love about them that you wish that you had,
01:51:36a personality trait or something, you know, something,deep a part of them what would that be and then on the flip side of that you know sort of if you couldyou know alleviate something from them take something away you know a stressor of some kindthat could make them feel better or make their life better in some way than what would that bewow that's oh my god i would say i would say um jason's i mean it's a weird thing to say likeI want this from him.But I think like this quality of this like magnetism that's like and it goes back to his depth.He could tell a story that has an entire room just like flabbergasted.
01:52:23And it can be it can be the funniest story you've ever heard.It could be the saddest thing.But he can bring people together with such ease and like really lighten a room.I mean, like, the whole chemistry changes when he's there.And always for the better.I mean, he's just like such a huge source of light.So that is an incredible quality.That is his and that he should keep for himself.
01:52:52But you want.You want it.You can want that.No, no, no.Yeah.Yeah.And I guess in that similar, in a similar vein, I would say,if there's any part of him in the,
01:53:05those situations and social situations, if there's any part of him that feels that pressurebecause he's sort of been carrying that torch for his whole life as far as just being so funand so funny, I know that that can really weigh on people. And I think it is a way you have fun.But just to know that you don't owe anyone and that you don't, you know, that your genuine self isalways you know shining through and and if you ever felt pressure like you had to step up thatside of yourself that you you don't um so if that is in there i would say i hope you could let that gooh man that's really lovely this is such a good question um i guess i guess the thing that iwould take tyler there's a certain sort of like clarity like a moral clarity like a moral
01:54:04that I feel like I sort of struggle with sometimesand I feel likeI feel like not that it's uncomplicatedfor everybody and for Tyler toobut there's just like there's such ajust an inherent understandingof like what the good thing to dowould be in any situation
01:54:27and he just follows that roadlike I've neverlike it just it's likethat road calls to himand he just goes that wayI've never been likewhat are you doinglike probably shouldn't do that
01:54:40it's all like he I justsee him follow this pathand he just he has this courageto just take the next stepand the next step the next stepand I justI can sometimes be paralyzedby my own
01:54:53you know likeindecision about thingsor orand so that is one thingthat I would takeand if I would alleviate anythingfrom himI think it would be
01:55:09any like sort of anxietyabout the futureI mean now that I just said likehe walks forward bravelyI thinkI think it's like athing where I feel likehe seems like he's just
01:55:22on such the right pathand that likewho he isand who he surrounds himselfwith and his familyI feel like toto take awayto just know that like he's on the right
01:55:35the right path and thatwhat's supposed to happen will happeneven though sometimes when I hear that it drives me insanebut I do believe that on some levelespecially when it's about good things I guess I believe thatwhen it's about that things like the world is chaosno no I get that I totally get thatbecause sometimes you can think like you know
01:55:55well why what the fuck's going on right nowbut it's just trust I mean it's just trusttrusting that you're you'rein the right place you're always in the right place you know exactly absolutely and um thank youand uh but yeah but he just he always is hard in his mind and spiroes are always in the right placelike he he's he knows he has this lovely beautiful family he knows you know he's such an incredibledad it's really inspiring to watch uh he was a dad before i was a dad so i got i was the littlebrother for that's true yeah hey before we get out of here
01:56:32I forgot to ask you a question when we were talking about your dad.Did you feel like, Jay, that you had to step up in any way, you know, and be the man of the family?Or is that sort of just an idea?I think in some ways I did.Yeah, I mean, for sure, like, being the oldest after the separation and stuff, too.I mean, both in different ways.one after the separationI was like, okay, in some ways
01:57:03I have to kind oftake over and kind of guideand be like, hey, don't do that, do this.Don't do what I'm doing.Don't even know what I'm doing.Just keep your head down.And then, yeah, and then I think again,in a different way
01:57:24and to more family membersat the time of his death.But I think in some ways everyone sort of stepped up.It's a strange thing.It's like a plug gets pulledand everyone kind of like goes to the drainto seal it up before too much water gets outand everyone sort of gets their own little section.
01:57:46And I think there are ways in which all of the siblingsthat have filled a hole.Yeah, you definitely filled a particular hole.I started talking about like man of the houseor, you know, being like a protective force.Even as recently as, you know, when the lockdown started,Jason was the one in the family to sort of set us all straight a little bit.While we were all like, hey, you know, like I think we can figure this out,
01:58:21you know, and Jason was like, guys, this is not the time to risk anything if we don't have to,if it's not essential. So, like, way early when this was all starting and people were stillfinding their roles, you came in and, and, I mean, it's like, it's set my ship straight. Really,I was sort of waving in between two different mindsets. And, uh, and you came in with that,with that sort of authority in a great way that we needed.My anxiety saves the great.No one go anywhere.Don't fucking move.
01:58:57I don't even know if we can talk on the phone like this.I'm freaked out.Well, thank you guys.Thank you so much.This was a long one.It was so great.Long, very long.But thank you.
01:59:10Thank you.Bye, guys.Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudsonand Oliver Hudson.Producer is Alison Bresnick.Editor is Josh Windish.Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark.It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there.
01:59:37The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profitfighting suicide in the veteran community.September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob andAshley Schick as they bring you to the front linesof One Tribe's mission. One TribeSave my life twice. Welcometo Season 2 of the Good Stuff.Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on
01:59:58the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,or wherever you get your podcast.The Super Secret Bestie Clubpodcast season four is here.And we're locked in.That means more juicy cheesement.Terrible love advice. Evil spellsto cast on your ex.
02:00:13No, no, no. We're not doing that this season.Oh. Well, this season we're levelingup. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it.My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here!Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia.Had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it.Five, six white people.
02:00:49Pushed me in the car.Basically, your stay-at-home momswere picking up these large amounts of heroin.All you got to do is receive the package.Don't have to open it, just accept it.She was very upset, crying.Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand,and I saw the flash of light.
02:01:04Listen to the Chinatown Stangon the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,or anywhere you get your podcasts.This is an IHeart podcast.
There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click any sentence in the transcript to leave one.