Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Melody and Family with Meghan & Ryan Trainor

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

A talented singer from a quaint New England town took her love for music mainstream and never looked back.Now in her 30's, pop star Meghan Trainor still makes music and has her BFF slash Bro 'Ryan' by her side. Could their relationship inspire Kate and Oliver to hit the road together?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.

Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. to your favorite shows. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model. I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show.

I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues, by talking to the models, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls and they got rich.

If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, what did you help her? Listen to the curse of America's Next Top Model. on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson.

We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling rivalry. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling, revelry. That's good.

Okay, I can't believe this. I'm finally back to do a podcast. I've just wrapped my show for Netflix, and I've been so excited to come back. And then, of course, the second I'm like, yeah, let's do this. I can come back. my brother's like I can't make it so I am solo today which I'm actually excited about I don't get to do this very often and I am interviewing a sibling pair that I'm very excited to talk to

Megan trainer and Ryan trainer and just super fitting as my album is out right now and I'm sort of entering this whole new stratosphere for me that I get to talk to talk to some musicians who are about to go out on a tour and has an album coming out. So without further ado, let's let in Megan and Ryan Traynor. You guys, I'm so happy this worked out. My brother is doing... Is he okay? He's fine.

Okay. He's fine. He had a last minute thing he had to do and I was bummed. But it's so funny because I've been out. So I've been like working and haven't been able to do any podcasts and Oliver's been doing a bunch of them. and then finally I come back and he's like, I can't. We're like soloing through life right now. We do it all the time.

That's why, especially I've been so busy recently. So Ryan's been just going live for our podcast. Yeah, I've been holding this down. Yeah. It's kind of nice, isn't it? It's nice to be like, oh, I can't be there, but the show won't like end, you know? Stop. Yeah.

Where are you guys right now? You're in like some sort of fitting room. Oh, we'd like to apologize for the background. Yeah, we, I'm in the middle of moving and I'm doing a music video tomorrow, same day as moving day. Pretty exciting. That's just how things landed. And so this is a mess.

We got some moving boxes behind me. So you're moving house? I'm moving into a different house on the same day of doing a music video for my song called Whoops. And now you have an album coming out? Like in a week. It's called Timeless, yes.

Are you so excited? Oh, I'm so excited. I'm so busy. I don't really know what day it is and what's going on, but it's great. I love Gloria. I love your music Thank you

It's been so much fun But man, let me tell you I mean respect to anyone Who enters the music industry It is a wild wild ride It's one thing to like love music And want to make music And it's another thing to then make it

And then put it out there And then have to follow through touring and promoting And it's intense Megan's always like Ryan I wish you were this singer. Yeah, I was like, I wish you could do it and I just write the songs.

Way too hard. I have a blast on that. You know, I'm taking pictures. I'm traveling. All as well. Dude, too much. You do too much work. Yeah, he's like, stop doing so much.

Yeah, relax. I don't know what? That's not how it works, bro. It doesn't work like that. Yeah. I, um, so let's sort of like, we always start with, um, when we get into sort of the sibling dynamic with just like the basics. Like, how many of them are you?

How many trainers? siblings are there. There's three of us and I'm in the middle. There's another boy who's a year and a half younger than me or two years younger than me. So we were all like a year apart. We're very close in age and we're very close now. And growing up, we wasn't so close. No, we were. We were. We were. We were. We were very close. And we get to like middle school, some of high school. And then, you know, I was like, leave me alone. I was like, please be my bestie. What's the age difference? Are you the oldest? You're the oldest. Yeah. He's the old. He's the old. is I'm a year and five days younger.

We're almost Irish twins. And then your younger brother. He's 28. So he's two years younger than me. So you're all pretty close. We're pretty close. My mom was 24 when she started having kids, and my dad was 43.

So they were like, blah, blah, blah, let's get them out, you know. Cute. And then, so, okay, so where did you guys, where were you raised? Nantucket, Island. Oh my gosh. This is like the all-American

like clam bakes all day long. Like Fridays for fish days. And like if you didn't wear white pants, you weren't invited and I was always wearing black leggings. Wait. Wait, I'm actually really surprised by it. I didn't realize anyone really actually grew up on Nantucket. It sort of feels like the place where you vacation or people go

and they have their summer homes, but they live in Boston or they live. Like, that baffles us because, like, I'm like, oh, I want to get as far away as possible. You know, like, I was like, oh, California has palm trees, you know? It's like nice weather. But that probably was pretty idealic growing up. The safety part of it was nice until, like, like, we never had to worry about locking our house or break-ins or locking our doors. Yeah, we were always outside.

We played a man-hunt in the neighborhood, and we're, like, running all over the neighborhood. There wasn't a lot of, like, kidnaps or murders that we knew. Although our mom was always on edge because she watched a lifetime every day. She loved murder books. Oh my God, it was like anytime we went to the Cape to the mall, that was a big trip for us.

She would drag me into the women's restroom. I'm 11. I'm like, I'm like six feet tall. I'm just like, I'm so sorry. My mom doesn't want me to get taken. The Cape Cod was big city for us,

you know? Like we didn't have a mall growing up. So we were like, the mall was Disney. That was an adventure. That was Disneyland for us. GGI Fridays at the mall was like we were living our dream. We were in California.

Like Disneyland. Wait, this is so, this is so, isolated like we did not we're we basically grew up the opposite we were like you know more i mean i i guess they moved they moved us to colorado when we were young but still like we traveled all over the world and we were much more you know i mean i couldn't imagine it's also like island life could kind of make you go a little crazy right yes yeah and there's not like places for teens to go a lot

there wasn't like a bowling alley or there's like one movie theater was there was an ice rink when we were growing up. I was new in middle school. So there was a lot of drinking and drugs. In the woods, yeah, you get a couple of ballots, start a bonfire. I was going to say, isn't that what happens when you start to become teenagers, I would think that in those small areas, that kids would sort of turn to things that maybe you went rogue.

Yeah, unfortunately for our parents. Amazing parents, they were the best. We were good. You were crazy, but we didn't get caught. You know what I mean? Like, we were safe. You got caught. You got caught.

But you were, like, so charming you convinced the cops to let you go. I was great at talking to the police. yes, but they were also like my friend's hockey coach. They probably already knew you. Yeah, yeah. They're like, Trana, what's going on? They're like, they're like, Ryan, Ryan. It really is like that.

Like, some days you would avoid the grocery store because you're like, I just can't run into that person again. I can't. Or like, the pharmacist was my best friend's dad. So I was like, I can't pick up like my tampons there. Like, what am I going to do? Wait, this is. So how often did you get off the island as kids?

If it was like sports, maybe. And you take a boat. They took us on amazing vacations, but it always did start with a boat ride to the Cape. Then a two-hour drive to Boston. Yep. And then fly out from Boston. We went to Hawaii. That was amazing.

We'd fly, yeah, Boston, L.A., then L.A. to Hawaii. I can't believe they took us on those. That was the best Christmas gift ever. Yeah. They were like, my mom did a scavenger hunt. And it was, I don't know. My brothers and I had to solve the riddle. And it was like, we're going to Hawaii.

It was sick, dude. It was like best for bad. Very rarely did we go, we would go playing sports. They would, we would kind of go to like the vineyard. Yeah, but you'd take a boat, you know? Like when I started traveling, I was like 19, when I started getting on big planes and going to California. And I was just like, I remember loving it.

Like watching out the window, like, so many people here. Look at this place. Like I thought it was the coolest thing ever now. I'm like, I don't want to get on this plane. I wonder like, are your parents still together? Yes. I wonder if you guys had, like, the best possible childhood ever, like, to be that inside, to be, like, to grow up on an island like that, I feel like, if I could give that to my kids right now, it would probably be the best thing for them. Do you ever, like, look back on it and think, why am I not giving this to my kids?

No, I would never. I don't know. I'm like, no. I want to isolate them in a house and never let them leave my bubble because I love it. of them and I'm like don't go out there it's scary but not on the island I would never I wouldn't do that um just because um I don't know I didn't know a lot of things I feel I feel like we had to learn the hard way of like I don't know getting out into the world and growing up the world is scary like it's kind of like 50 50 a lot of people stay because they're just like I can't handle just even like

we didn't have highways you know we didn't have traffic lights like tall buildings scare me big trees scare me. I get excited by kind of like the big city for a moment and then I'm ready to leave. But Megan is just like, when we're in New York City, she's just, it's too much. I got to get out of here. There's too many humans. There's too many things. No, no, no. Are your parents still in Antucket?

No, I jogged him out here. Like my dad, they were jewelers together and they like made jewelry and sold it on Antucket, but and my dad was like, I'm going to die at this bench. Like, that was his dream. And I was like, what if you were tired and you came out here and helped me

every day. And my mom is, my mom is now my assistant and my dad hangs up all the art in our house and does all the handyman work for us. He's the handyman for us. Yeah. And you guys all live really close to each other. This kind of sounds like my family, except my dad is definitely not the handyman in our life. Kurt is not hanging up pictures in our house. Both my brothers lived in this house with me and then my younger one who just walked past fell in love and i was engaged and is living with her now so that was like my first like my first baby boy left the you know the house and i was like go fly crying and then um when we decided to move from this house to another house there was no back house like guest house for right right yeah and i'm spoiled i need a guest house and um and i was

like you'll come with me right like i'm only going to get this house if you come with me and he was like absolutely like do it then i did it and he was like listen i can't move in there and i was like you said him a bit you said that you come with us like i wanted him to live with me till he was 50 you know like or like till he found love well wait how old are you guys now it's it's 31 and 30 well you got to move out of the house yeah yeah yeah yeah i was trying to hold on brother that you've been there that long yeah i know i was i clipped his wings and i kept him close um but he makes us happy. Because like quarantine too, kind of, I was living with her in that other house and we

were stuck there. So that, I feel like that delayed the process. I think if that didn't happen, I probably would have been out by 30 for sure. He got sober. So like for the last three years, we celebrated yesterday. Yeah. Oh, wow. Today, June 1st is my third year of sobriety.

I was kind of like, I love that he's here so we can like watch him, you know, and like take care of it. Well, let's let's get into that. sobriety at some point but let's go back let's go back to when you guys are kids like what was the what would you say was like the entry point into the arts for you guys like how old were you and when did music start to become or the and the art start to become something that was a part of your life my dad was a band teacher at one point on nantucket so um we like both well whatever ryan did i had to do like i worshipped him and was like that's the cool thing to do then

so let's do it. So he's like, I'm going to play trumpet. And I was like, hell, yes, so am I. So we were in band and we both played trumpets. But my dad was like so cool and found these like wrapped trumpets that were like bright red. And then the other one, mine was like rainbow colors. Yeah, we popped. So when we walked on stage, I would hold it out on the outside so the crowd could see.

And I was like, you know I'm legit. Look at this. And my dad's like that. Just the coolest thing ever. He wanted us to stand out He knew we were little stars So yeah We were in band

And then my dad played music at the church At a Methodist church on Nantucket It's like right downtown right next to the bank And he loved it And we would go sometimes And sit next to him And he would play the big giant organ And we thought it was so cool

And we would help him out Five years old And we were like, yeah So into music Whatever dad was doing Trying to play the organ So did he play multiple instruments are just the organ.

He plays a few. He plays a few. He plays piano since he's played piano since he was 11. So that was his gig. He was like, I was making money at 11 years old playing for like the ballet or something in his town. So he was very much like get a job and be musician anywhere he could make money with music. He did. He loved it. So he was a jeweler like from Monday through Saturday. And then on Sundays he would play for the church. And yeah. So we were surrounded by music. But also there's a lot of. videos of us at home as babies where we were in diapers and they would have like jam parties. My parents would like play a bunch of music before nighttime, I guess to like get the

sillies out and we would just rock and we would sing and it was like all kinds of music. And your parents loved, then they loved music. So you were like there was music playing and my dad. Yeah, he just had a good sound system. And what was his vibe? Was it like classical jazz? What is it? It was all over the place. James Brown. James Brown. Okay. Very soulful. Very soulful.

Like Stevie Wonder, Earth went in fire. And then mom was the opposite. And then mom was like Madonna, you know. Oh, my mom was like Abba. Yeah. The Corps. John Bon Jovi. Oh my God.

The Coors. Yeah. I love the chorus so much. And I remember meeting them. I remember meeting the Coors. I was working in Ireland. I was 19 years old. And I was in a pub.

And this beautiful girl came, was there. And I remember thinking like, you know, and she looked very like not like a typical person that I was seeing in Ireland at the time. I was like, wow, this Irish girl looks like she's traveled the world. And they're like, no, she's in this band called The Corps. And I remember like really trying to understand like what that was. And I had to go find a CD because at the time, obviously, there was no streaming.

Breathless is like, I try to write. Plus every day. I try to write that song. I love that song. And the sister that I met, I remember I met the older sister too and Yeah. Yeah. That was my dream is to force them into music. And I did and I won. And now they write songs with me. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in,

and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to

become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a hundred of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream.

Listen to Burn Sageburn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would talk about. challenge your perceptions, and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more. And found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house.

Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on the street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

So when did that start happening? Like, did you, were you always writing songs? Or was that, like, when you were young? Or was that something that happened as you got? I thought everyone, like, was writing songs, you know? I thought, like, and all my favorite pop stars, I was like, oh, that's how they got there. They wrote their songs, and then they could be superstars. So when I saw, like, I loved Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera in sync, too.

I loved all them. And I, but I remember learning about Carol King and Aretha Franklin and like Earth Wind of Fire and just a lot of songwriters too that I studied and was like, okay, I got to write my music if I'm going to be a pop star. I just like had so much hope and belief in myself for some reason. And I remember I would mow the lawn. That was because they're both colorblind. So that was their excuse not to. So when I would mow the lawn, I would be singing because no one could hear me. So I'd be like wailing, I'd be screaming, singing, and, like, writing songs.

And I was like, I'm free here because no one can hear me with how loud this is. Because we would hear her in the shower. Yeah, I'd be singing. But my mom said that when I was really young and she would sing lullabies to me, that I would sing harmony back. And if you remember, it freaked her out. So it was like... Do you have, like, good relative pitch? Like, I'm not Charlie Puth where I can hear what note you're singing or talking.

but I can I can like memorize the pitch of all my songs and a song I really love. I think my daughter has perfect pitch. I just started realizing it. And it's starting to like form. I mean, it'll obviously, we'll see where it ends up. But like even one of my backup singers was like, she's got, she is perfect pitch.

I see like, I think she's could, you could be like, hey, Ronnie, sing this Taylor Swift song and she'll just start singing it right in key, right in the key of the same. song, which is a really hard. I can't, I can't even do that. It's really hard. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, so, okay, so then, so, so you started writing, how old were you, do you think? Like, when do you think your first fully formed song? I know I wrote a song at like seven because my aunt, my uncle were getting married, and I wanted to write them a song to walk down the aisle to, and then they went and got married at like, where do you get married in the office? At City Hall? Yeah, they did that. I was like, guys, I wrote us on for the wedding. What are you doing? But I did it to heart and soul on the piano, you know? So I just wrote on top of that. And then my dad, he didn't want to teach me because he's like, I don't want to fight with you, but like I'll teach you chords. And then you have to figure it out on your own. So I learned chords and then just started playing by ear and started writing my own songs like that. I found a guitar in a closet one day. And he was like, oh, yeah, that's like an old guitar. I don't even know where that's from. But I'll play you. I only know three

chords but I don't know anything else. So I learned those three chords and then I learned a whole song on it and showed him later that day like look dad and he's like freaked out. And then I just any instrument I could pick up I would try to learn and try to write a song. What about you, Ryan? Well, here's the deal. I pick something up. I go, I'm never going to be a pro at this. And then I put it down. I think he has ADD and I would love to like get. I think you should test for I just like to have a really good time. I am so happy to be talking to you and I'm so honored and like it's crazy to me, but I was very excited to talk to Oliver. I feel like he could potentially be my mentor. Like, all I do when I grow up is be Oliver. Like, that's my guy. He studied him.

I've listened to a few episodes. I was ready to have someone like understand me because you guys are both so talented. What? We understand you. No, yeah, I dragged him along for everything. But I found his talent in, um, I had for like two albums ago, I had him videotape the whole process and he started texting me and like chiming in like I was like dude I cannot figure out this word what rhymes with this and he would text me because he didn't want to offend anyone

or think that didn't want them to be uncomfortable like oh no what's this guy coming in with publishing so he'd be like yo try this and I'd be like guys what do you think about and it became like the title of the song so then I convinced him after a bunch of those like dude you wrote that song like you're a writer and now he will attend a session with me

and he wrote my first single with me called Ben Like This, that T. Payne is singing on. Come on. And my younger brother produces. Oh, so he, oh, so younger brother loves to sit. Younger brother makes tracks. Loves to sit in the realm. Yeah, he's a lyricist and that dude can make crazy cool beats.

I can hang out. I'm a good hang. He's a vibe. It's really what it is. Well, that's like, that is like Ollie. I always say to Ollie, he's such a, he's such a great writer. And he's such a good poet that I'm like, you should be writing lyrics.

Yeah, a lot of people are like, I don't know how you do it. It's so hard. I'm like, once you figure it out once, like, it's kind of just a pattern and then you got it. And then it's just like how, what's another way of saying this, you know? Yeah. I mean, writing a good song is actually pretty hard. Oh, it's so hard. But I try to convince people it's easy, though.

I'm like, come on, join us fun. We can do it together. It is the most fun. But, you know, it's funny. like all things need to come together to make a great song you know and sorry go ahead no no i just i just Megan doesn't what do you think Megan doesn't understand the gift that she has so she writes these in a day and i'm like how the fuck did you just yeah i started at 10 a m and i'm done my six i'm throwing a couple words okay she everything melodies you did phrases it was good

it's not some people some people have that like very prolific ability You know, where they can, with music, where, you know, you just get in like a zone and you can write, like, in one day, just all of a sudden you have a fully formed really interesting song, you know. Yeah, that's usually how I do it because I'm also too lazy to go back and work on it again. Oh, really? It's good. Let's be done. It's perfect. You also do something, which I think.

Maybe you do have ADHD as well. Maybe this is the theme and the family. She knows how to use it, though. She, like, she does her homework. So the night before, she comes up with the idea so that when she shows up with the writers and the producers the next day, she's like, guys, I have an idea of what do you think.

Yeah, I always go fully prepared if I'm writing for myself or someone else. Like if we finally get in the studio together, I'll cry. I'll have a whole course of an idea or like three ideas and be like, if you hate this, we could do this. If not, because I never want to go in empty

and be like, so how are you feeling and like make it a tough therapy session? Like I'm like, what if we did something fun and cool and like this, you know? I like that kind of. that like entering songwriting sessions with energy it's like I'm there but everybody's different like I like powering through things me too like I don't even if it's bad it's like just power through it and you can always go back and be like I hated that lyric I hate the phrasing you can kind of sit with it for a second but like get it done yeah you know and I think when what for me at least when I that's when things started to really click with writing was like oh just like write the bad lyric just like write it out get it out don't keep it in and then um and and then you can kind of strip away or you can restructure you can take the bridge and be like

actually that's actually a better chorus like you know but don't stop oh yeah um very rarely in writing now do i like stop writing the song oh no i need yeah i need yeah i need some something finished so that when I go to bed that night, I can listen to it all night until I fall asleep. Is that kind of like, did you get that from like acting too of just like doing the scene over and over and just be like, I'm going to just do it, do it, do it, and then. Also, what do you like more acting or singing? We have so many questions for you. It's turning around on to me. Great question. I like them both. They're so different, you know, even though like you can't,

you can, you bring certain things, I think, similarly to each, but, but they're just so different. Like, to me, acting, you know, you, acting is a, is as, as much of a grind as, say, maybe being on tours, but it's like even, I think, more of a grind, you know, tour, like, you get the day. You can, like, sit in the, you know, you can, you can have, you know, room service. And then you got to go to sound check. and then, you know, it's a nighttime gig and you get energy and it's fun and you might be tired after doing it for a while

but like you have more time to yourself. Whereas, I mean, depending on where you are in the cycle of your album, but when you're on a movie, like the show I just did, I'm working 13 to 15 hour days every day. All day.

There's no like, there's no like, you know, I'll get up at 10 and, you know, Maybe work out. Be amazing, though. Like, what if you're tie-tie? What if you're tired? I mean, I think that that's kind of what if you, like where you say, what do you like better? It's like when I'm in that grind with a team of people on a show and you love it, there's not, there's, it's, it's just so fun because the work is good and the people are amazing.

The thing for me with music is it, it is my like number one love. like I singing and writing and being in music is like where I'm where I am happiest. So I'm finding that even though it's new

the process of this is new but like I've music's been music's like everything to me you know. So I would say it's probably has always been my number one but now that I'm actually doing it

it's like I feel it's sort of changed the way I feel about my life. I'm like much happier and more, I don't know. I feel like I'm doing what I should be doing now more than ever. We want to get into acting eventually, but my husband's an actor. He was in all like those spy kids movies and a bunch of other stuff. And he always laughs at me and he's like, you would hate acting.

And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, you would crush it and you would be great. But you would hate sitting there waiting for them to call you. Like you would go nuts. You have to love the world. I was like, what do you mean I sit there? You literally sit there. I was thinking about it the other day because I'm on the show with all these amazing people.

And I was like, God, if I didn't like these people, I'd be miserable right now. Miserable. But it's the same thing. Like, you know when you're like in the pocket with something? And I think this is where like any, like all creative people kind of lean. to want to do both, whether it's acting or music, it's like when you're in the pocket and nothing else is, nothing else exists, you're just like super present in what you're doing. There's no better feeling. I think dancers feel that too. I feel that in both. You know, I'll have days

when I'm acting where, like, I'll be doing a scene and I'm just so focused in it that when I'm done, like, nothing feels better. When you're like, I crush that. Is it like that? it's more like it's more like feeling like I feel like it's like gratitude it's like that thing where you're like god I'm just so happy I get to do I get to do this yeah yeah you know and I think I feel the same when I'm singing like I kind of blacked one time I'm doing all this stuff I feel like I've been thrown into the fire I kind of blacked out I was like I just was like sing I just was like in it and then when I was done I looked at everybody was like was like was that okay like I I was like on the voice.

I feel like you did that on the voice. You're like closed your eyes and you look so happy. I've only done that blackout thing once. Like usually performance is like scary for me or I'm having fun. I'm getting through it. One time I fully blacked out and let go and it felt like I've never had that feeling ever again. And it was for Quincy Jones for his birthday. I sang, you don't own me.

And I've never been more afraid of anything in my life. Like I was like, why am I invited? Why am I here? And Oprah was in the front row. I was like, I'm going to grow up. I'm so afraid. And I was like, just do the very best you possibly can do. And I closed my eyes.

And I remember I was like soaring. Like I was on some different kind of high at the end because I was like, I did it. You know? I felt it watching. I was like, oh, she's in a different world. I was like, I was like, oh, that's what everyone's talking about. Isn't that amazing, though, when you can disappear when you're like, when you, when that happens, it's just the best out. I was like, am I going to faint?

Like, this is sick. It's so fun. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip,

forgettable somewhere with charm character and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional.

It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for hundreds of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Teller Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you.

On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health. struggles and more and found the shrimp to make it to the other side my dad was shot and killed in his house yes he was a drug dealer yes he was a confidential informant but he wasn't shot on the street corner he wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal he was shot in his house unarmed pretty private isn't just a podcast it's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines every tuesday make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

You know, it's funny you just said Quincy's birthday because I remember when I was a little girl, my mom sang at once at one of Quincy's birthday. And she, you know, the I got you under my skin, you know, that song? she's saying I got Q under my skin and I remember her practicing in our living room and and then not that long ago I saw her and Quincy kind of talking you know because our friends were very you know our families are close and but I saw them talking and I was thinking about their history meaning like everything that Quincy has done the history of his life what a spectacular life and then looking at my mom

and then I kind of had this moment I'm like wow I wonder how much fucking fun these guys had in the 70s like way more fun than we've ever had ever. They were partying and having a fucking blast yeah I'm like working my ass off

and then my therapist is like where's your serotonin and I was like what do you do for serotonin? Like, what fun things do you do just by yourself that's not, like, hanging out with your kids and, like, the obvious ones? And I was like, I don't understand. What? She's like, you need to find things that make you happy. And, like, I feel like back in the day, everyone would party and celebrate, but my little voice can't handle that.

I'm like, if you want me to sing, I have to, like, never drink and never speak and never, like, party like that. Or I have no voice. And then I have no job. But they did. They celebrated each other. They celebrated life. And I'm jealous of those moments. And they're glamorous lives.

It was like so, so interesting. With no phones. Could you imagine? Life with no phones is probably insane. It was the best. It was just like right here, just like looking at each other in the eyes,

having the most fun just like. You guys, I can imagine. I can really imagine. I'm ready to throw my fucking phone into the ocean. Yeah, I'm over it. I don't want it. I, I,

Life Without Phone. Have you heard this new dumb phone thing? I think everyone should be doing it. No. How old are your kids, Megan? They're three, but I've seen the addiction. I know. So my thing is this, I really do, I've talked about this on the podcast, Oliver and I've talked about it. I think they're the devil. I think that kids, they should be completely, smartphones should be banned in schools, period. Period. Kids should have pagers and Nokia flip phones

like we did. We have trackers now. We have the Apple thing you could stick on their watch. Like we could track them. Yeah. And if they need a phone, like give them a phone

so that they can call home if there's number, whatever. You know, there's no more pay phones anymore in the world. Jitterbugs are cool, yeah. Yeah. But like, but you realize

now they're doing all this research, you realize when you have a flip phone, you have, you are not going going to all of these little, even looking something up on the internet. Was a nightmare back then. Oh yeah, but you wouldn't do it if you had your flip phone. So you'd actually talk to a person instead of interrupting conversations to then have to like research, you know, whatever it is you're talking about.

It's like, no, actually sit and have a long ass conversation with someone where you're completely uninterrupted. And it's so rare. Maybe that's why I like FaceTiming more. I don't call people anymore. I'm like, I need to see your emotions. I need, I will cold FaceTime you at a random ass time. I do not give a lot.

I will be like 9pm. I'm the same. People are like, what is happening? People I don't even know. I face time, they're like, oh, yeah. I'm like, sorry, I call FaceTime to you. I just got your number high all the time. Now I know why.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So wait, so, so you're three years into being a mom. How old are you, Megan? I'm 30. Oh, so, okay. So you've had them for, in this day and age, that's considered young. Yeah, all my mom friends were like 10 years older than me.

And I remember one time we had like a mom's dinner night and I was like, this is so fancy. You know, like it was so noise. We were like at one of their houses at a big long table outside and I was like, and we were all talking about our birth experiences. And yeah, then they started talking about places we should go and like relax. And they were like, oh, let's go to Ohio. And I was like, oh, I've been there. I don't know if that's where we should go.

I'm thinking Ohio. I thought they were just like, like, yeah. And they've fucking laughed so hard at me. They were like, what? And I was like, I don't know places or things. I'm really young. I'm just like, I don't know. I'm from Nantown.

Yeah. I'm from Nanty Island. I was like, guys, I've been to Ohio. I don't know what you're talking about. They were like, it's so quaint and like, you know, place to vacation. I was like, yeah. How is that? for you, Ryan, seeing your sister

become a mom. Did you say big? I mean, that first pregnancy, yeah. She just wouldn't leave the couch. She's just eating Jimmy Johns every day. Hey, so Kevin Hart's wife, she works out. She looks pretty pregnant. He got me my trainer.

He got me my trainer. I did have just... I was concerned for her health, okay? I was like, you're out of control. Every time I would walk out of my bedroom, he would be there because it was a living room and he was like, oh my God. And I was like, how old are the age difference?

One is three and one is 11 months old. Oh, okay. So first one, you went in. I went in. I went in. Yeah, but I lost the most way of ever lost and then learned how to like be healthy. And I beat my genetics on the second pregnancy. So I didn't have gestational diabetes.

And I think it's because I worked out and ate clean. And once I saw that baby's face, my first born, I was like, oh, I'm going to live forever and be as healthy as I possibly can for you. you. And I, yeah, I can't feel like this. Also, like, picking up these toddlers, you got to be some type of fit. You got to be strong. I'm like walking upstairs with them twice a day. No, I want two more. I want daughters. I just got these boys. I love these boys, but I need my daughter. Yeah. Yeah, you do. Let me tell you. Look, listen, nothing against you, Ryan, and I'm sure boys. It's a lot of dudes in my house. Boys are the best, but it's like when you grow up being the only girl with a bunch of boys. which is me as well

I was like I don't have a girl I'm gonna just keep having babies until I have a girl like it's just that's it I respect it I'm like I will not stop I'll have four bars but yeah and we balance things out and we're I'm sorry but like

we kind of like you know when we yeah and when we're what's going on here when we're like when we are like I mean I love my brothers and you guys are loud and you can overpower but when we've had it it's like the whole like when I'm like you guys need to sit down you realize how powerful

girls are yeah yeah we really do even even when we're outnumbered so to not have a little girl would be I hear it I was going to say um like seeing megan do you know performing and making music and doing all this amazing stuff I'm like gosh she's like this is what she was meant to do but then I saw her come home with Riley and I was like oh wow this is what she was born to do she's such like she's such a mom like an amazing mom it tripped me out at first I was like I was like seeing a whole different human being it's weird I was like whoa this is a different Megan but I'm like I'm here for it she's the best mom I want to be a mom since I was like 22 as soon as I met I didn't think she was serious because I'm like I see her as like young Megan just we're chill on the couch watching

South Park so I was like yeah whatever did you'll be a mom one day yeah so okay wait and And you're, but you're single. Ryan. Right. And if you know someone, no, no, no, no. See, I set up, I set up, I set up, I set up, I set up, I set up, I set up a boundary. Okay.

Did too. For this one, too. I said, I set up a boundary. I need, I need you to stop doing what you know. I've been selling him for, I don't need to be sold. I am, I am okay. You're okay. I'm still figuring stuff out.

I know I'm 31. I know. I know, I know. I know, it's old to be figured out. But I'm in L.A., you're not old, dude. It's really not that old. It's really young. You're fine.

Yeah. But I keep trying to tell me, I love her so much. And I know it's out of love. But we're traveling all over town. And it's just like, hey, you're single. You're single. You're single. Meet Ryan.

And I go, you need to stop. We're also going to have a break down. Yeah. We've been doing, we've been working on this. Boundaries. It's been nice. Boundaries. We set up boundaries.

Sorry. Because before I just wouldn't say anything. And I would just, I'd be like, I'll just get drunk and forget this is ever happening. I can't do that anymore. I just have the best love with my husband. And I want him to have that. Totally get it. looks cool it's great i love it and what about younger bro so younger bro's engaged yeah married found

the greatest girl she's packing our house right now with him they're like the best people and they're so they're so in love and they're soulmates and and he so when you guys are all writing together is this has this happened yet i mean have you guys been in a room just the three of you writing music yep yeah there's a yeah there's a song in the new album called love on hold and forget how to love. We did that too. But love on hold was a really fun one that we wrote together. And we write a lot of love songs together, which is weird, but it always makes sense to us. Like, love on hold

is like, don't keep my love on hold. Like, don't lead me on. At first, it's because we were listening to the beat and we were like, oh, God, this sounds like we're on hold. And then, like, in the waiting room. The original beat was kind of tough. Yeah. And then Justin, I think, was like, my love on hold. And then we were like

Don't keep my love on hold And then it turns into a song It turned into a song It's so easy How fun It's so fun to Now do you ever Disagree

On and who Who usually wins I think I know the answer To the Yeah Well and my always My winning answer always Is like

Oh I'm sorry Is it your name And your face That's gonna sing this song You know what I mean Like Well I guess when you're writing For you

Yeah At the end of the day you're going to be the final you're going to be the final but they do they do have the best opinions and I do listen to them because like I'll sing a line and they'll be like dude that word sounds ugly like don't sing it like that or and now they've been like vocal coaching me they're like it'd be sick if like because I try to do something different with every album and sometimes I'm like do we rap again because I wrapped on my first album but no one remembers I did like yeah it's pretty clear I ain't no size too like I was rapping and all about that base but um every time

I do it, we're always like, no, no, no, no, just sing it, just sing it, just. You really were rapping in that song. I know. In all of those songs, there was always a bridge that had a full rap. And I'm like, oh, my goodness. So now when you write, do you write mostly on piano? Do you write on guitar? Do you write on the computer?

Like, what's your method? I used to write everything on the ukulele because I was traveling so much and I didn't want to lug a guitar everywhere. But lately for these albums, I did a lot of piano, and I would get the chorus down, and I would bring my co-writers in and audition the song. And I was always like, I'm so nervous. I want to pee my pants, but what do you think about this? And then it worked every time, though.

So it was really nice, and I got lucky. Do you feel like, I mean, you guys basically do everything together. I mean, Ryan, I'm assuming you go on tour, right, as well? Yeah, he's going to open. Yeah, a little different tour for me this time. work to do before I was well still working but it was more like take video and pictures and all that stuff social media but you're gonna now I have now I'm gonna be a big big star okay it's my time to shine it's time to shine I have to learn out of DJ I'm just gonna hype the crowd up before the

show begins I'm I'm the ultimate hype guy for Megan for anyone around me I want everybody to succeed he's my life coach but I want everybody to win he's my hype guy I'm here to just like let's have the best time ever wait so you're gonna go on the road and DJ before you before you go on. Yeah, like in the, in the open openers when you show, if you show up early. I am going to steal this. I am going to make Oliver DJ before I go on stage. Also, we're selling like the VIP package instead of meet and greets.

We're going to do like a very special working on it pod, which is our podcast with my husband and we're going to do it live and like have fans come early and hang out with them. Intimate setting. Intimate setting. Do some Q&As like and a sound. How fun! I know.

Smart. This is a great idea. So get your tickets now. Now, wait, when are you guys going on the road? September and October. Please show up, please, please, please. For the love of God, we need people to show up. It'll be fun, I promise.

We're doing arenas. You're doing arenas? Yeah, which is like, I'm so excited. That was my bucket list. That was the last thing I have to do you. This is going to be so fun. Are you doing all over or are you just doing? Yeah, we're doing, we're doing, um,

Red Rocks too. North America. North America. Yeah, yeah. And one Canada show. Ooh. I know. I just found out.

And then we're ending at the forum. I can't wait for Red Rocks. I'm, I've got my bucket list. Yeah. I'm like, I got a little gorge. I want to play Red Rock.

We're doing MSG. We went there to like do some promo and we were like, we're not ready for this. We were so nervous. How fun. I remember when my ex-husband played Madison Square Garden on New Year's and it was just like the most fun.

Yeah, it was awesome. It was a great show. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility,

thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip,

a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture.

It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a kind of two years, you carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep

traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you. you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences

of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. he was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private

from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Oh, let's talk about boundaries with each other. Okay, great. Cool. Well, our parents weren't in that generation yet of expressing their feelings a lot. So for our boundaries, that answer, we are the generation that is like going to therapy

and learning how to speak up for ourselves. But it's a new thing. It's very new. His first boundary that was loud and real was like the other day when he was like, hey, stop promoting my singleness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And I was like, oops, I keep messing up. yeah but Ryan is single for anyone out there yeah who that's right you give me my sister um and then i gotta say stop saying that um um but boundaries right okay so you're finally able to be like okay i love you i'm over it i don't i you're is it hard for you to set a boundary for yourself ryan yeah yeah i avoid i avoid conflict i'm a people pleaser and our mother i will hold on to stuff till the day i die yeah so now i've stopped doing that and started to be like, okay, hey, we need to have a conversation,

which that sentence alone scares the fuck out of me. I've never said that. And then so now I've started doing that. And they're never fun, but when you're done with that conversation, everyone feels so much better. I cried.

Well, but it's because I also, I still don't know how to express. I feel better now. I feel better knowing how he feels. I still get a little wound up and don't say everything correctly that I want to say. Um, because I,

I struggle, emotions are new for me too. Yeah. Feeling everything. He never like cried. I was numb from like 15 to 28. Why do you think that happened? I'm an alcoholic.

Yeah, but also like dad never was an emotional person, you know? Never saw dad cry except for when Chloe died. Oh, yeah. That was it. Yeah, he was like an older dad, so there was not a lot of emotions. You don't cry. We still don't. We still don't know how my dad feels sometimes, you know?

And we only hear it through like if he complains to my mom. and I'm like that's how he feels you know like he's not he won't communicate well and my mother on the other side I've like broken her so much that she finally is like in therapy and expressing her feelings and that's new to her too so we're finally in a better open place there was like a joke that we had in the family of like oh the secrets like we'll never tell you how we really feel but we'll just have these secrets I wonder it's so funny because it's feel you guys feel very open and and like you like you know and joyful so like I guess like it's such an interesting learned thing to be afraid of vocalizing your feelings yeah we're trying to be that we're trying to like on our podcast

we have a lot of like epiphanies and a lot of like oh this is how I've been feeling about this like it's pretty I tell me what's our family therapy on the podcast but it took a lot it took a long way to get here I had like in my early 20s had like panic disorder order and started crumbling and having like panic attacks and no one could relate to me in our family. They never had anxiety like that. They didn't know what it was. And I, we were uneducated about it. And then, so I thought I was dying. And then he came up to me and was like, just so you know, like the toughest guy in my life. He was like, I have panic attacks all the time. Just go to the ER. They'll give you a pill. You'll be fine. And go home and you'll be

safe. And I was like, you've had this. Like you. And my first thought was why did we not, And why does none of us know that you had panic attacks and felt like you were dying? Like that's how closed he was. And now being sober, we're much more trying to like open with our feelings. There's a saying in AA, it's like you're as sick as your secrets. So I had a lot of secrets. And so, yeah, it was just very, very sick. We're trying to not have secrets anymore.

Yeah. This is so good. This is so healthy. I love it. It's so good stuff. I mean, yeah, I started putting on a mask and people pleasing at the, like, the age of 12. So like I explained I don't want to

We had an episode Dr. Drew And I explained What happened to me When I was 12 With my Who I thought were my friends At the time

And he was like Dude that's like Real trauma You need to see my friend As a trauma therapist And go through some stuff With her But in that moment

Like the next day I It's like I didn't want to get them In trouble Like But what they did to me Was bad So and I put on a face

Like awesome sleepover guys That was the best dude Like see it at school Like And just It was a nightmare Yeah And then yeah

And he didn't tell my mom, didn't tell anybody until I was like 18 years old. Like that's how insane when you're that young, you kind of... How do you feel about sleep hours? I know, but I think that happens to so many kids and they don't talk about it. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know exactly what details are talking about. But I think there are so many kids who have traumatic experiences when they're growing up. And how do you know how to vocalize whether something feels right or wrong or what,

what's going to be, you know, what does that mean for your social status at the school? And, you know, it just becomes scary to be able to be like, yeah, that didn't feel right. And therefore, I'm going to say something is like the hardest thing for kids to do still to this day, you know, no matter how much people talk about it. Yeah. Because in the moment, too, when you're that young, you're like, this is the, this will be the end of the world if I go and say something like that my life will be over. Yeah. And it's just not. It's crazy how, like, you look at time when you're such, when you're a young kid,

everything just feels like this is the biggest thing in the world. And life is so long and beautiful and there's so many things that happen. It's, oh, man. Well, and also now you're got, you're out of your Saturn return. So that's a big one too. Tell me more. What's happening? Teach us.

We don't know anything. I'm here for it. Well, I will send you something on it because we're, But the Saturn return is basically, it's like everybody usually, it depends on your chart. But for those who are into astrology, it's like usually 29, 30 or some people 28, like in that pocket, in that window, when you come out of your Saturn return, it's like a lot of people will say it's like all of that stuff that felt like it was so big and it was just so much chaos or so much like transition and trying to figure out what it all means. it just sort of all of a sudden feels like it's lifted. It's like, God, I just... Saturn return, feeling it.

I feel that. It's true. You should read about it because it's... The Saturn returns a big one. I think people, when they come into their 30s, they really feel, hopefully, you know, like they're turning a new, like a real new way of living versus how you did in your 20s.

That's why so many people go, I don't really wouldn't ever want to do my 20s over again. It was fun. The 20 sucked, dude. They sucked. Absolutely chaos. Yeah, it really is. The only good part was that I had my babies, but I still, I felt like, I still feel like

16 and pregnant. Like, when I have the, I'm like, I'm too young for this, you know? I know, tell me about it. I had mine at 24. I was so young. Oh, my God. And it's the best, oh, my gosh. And now he's like, you know, 20 and I, you have a 20 year old.

It's insane. You look so good. I have a 20 year old. We were, we were at the Katie Perry pickleball tournament. Yes. And I couldn't, we couldn't stop staring at you

because you're a goddess and you're like, I was like, oh, she's been playing pickleball. And just incredible at pickleball. No, I was like, you've been playing since you were four years old.

Like, you were trained for the Olympics. That is so funny. That's right. Do you know I haven't played pickleball in like two, like a year? I, and I, like,

I was like five months post C section and I, me and Daryl had zero points. Like count them zero. they were going to get a divorce at the end of the day. Honestly, I've never been so more upset with my husband. I was like, you failed us because he's good, but he took too much, he drank his Celsius and he had a full panic attack the entire time.

I was like, you're disappointed. And every thing he missed, he looked at me and was like, what the, and I was like, are you kidding me? Wasn't it fun, though? Isn't it pickleball tournament so much fun? It was so great. Also, my mom will murder us if we don't tell you this. We saw you perform at a Seth MacFarlane Christmas party.

And that was the first time We were like Oh, an angel of a voice What is going on? Well, not fair, you can do it all. And that night, Seth, I was like brand new Like out here And Seth was like, hey, if she wants to come up and sing

And after you sang, I was like, absolutely not I'm going to go drink and leave Because like, I could never follow this. Hell no. And then I think Christina Aguilera was supposed to go You're a god. We're obsessed with you. I love you.

Thank you for saying that that was actually terrifying because I didn't want to sing. I would have never known Yeah they were just like You know come on go and everyone was like pushing me I'm like okay I'm just gonna do it And I didn't know I don't really I didn't I didn't have anything like I was like I don't know a Christmas song

Like top the bottom like I was like we doing jingle bells Since then I've learned songs Since then I was like I need to know a couple every season I was like are there lyrics up there like I'm gonna mess up My friend Johan do you know Johann Carlson Yeah So Johan he did a bunch of songs me. I love him. Yeah. I, he, us too. And he, um, he has his Christmas party every year. Have you

been to the Christmas party? I haven't gone, but he invited me. Yeah. So now you, you know, when you go, you have to sing. Like there's no, not singing. Well, now I'm not going. Yeah. I'm not, yeah. The thing with my voice is like, it's so weak and fragile that I'm not, and I don't, I'm not confident enough to be like, if there's a piano, let's sing. You know, like, oh, it's my nightmare. Oh, stop it. The pop star stage presents is maybe and just like fake it till you make it. Like she's the songwriter. If someone was like, sit down and let's write, I'll do it. I'll do it all day all night.

But if someone's like, should we sing? Like, should we get like my friend Scott from Pentatonics? I couldn't make it to his wedding. And I was like, honestly, I would have pooped my pants there because the greatest singers of all times were there. And everyone got up and sang. And I was like, I would not have done that. Like, I need you to know that I'm not comfortable doing that.

I just, how do you feel? about people not writing their own songs. Do you have a personal attachment to those kinds of things? Or do you, does it just like, do you not care? I don't, I like back in the day how like Carol King could write for Aretha, you know, and like that was cool. And I think if you're an awesome artist and you're talented and you sing, like, I think it's smart for some artists when they pick a really well-written song.

And then that helps their whole career. And that's great. I'm like extra exhausted and I get bummed when like my song doesn't do as well sometimes because I'm like oh that was from my heart and soul you know so I think there's a more personal attachment like that um but yeah it's I don't know how do you feel personally about writing like do you have to write every song you sing or are you comfortable there's been like two songs I put out that um I didn't write um like but if and it has to be incredible and I'll play it for the whole family and they're like you've got to sing this song yeah um but uh I I was like on a DJ song once for fun that I was like never done this I'll sing their song or sometimes I'll change a few lyrics for you few words Marvin Gay with Charlie Puth that was like all him and and I heard that with a different singer at first but but when Charlie said he was gonna cut it I was like I beg of you please please please I will do anything please please please it's the most beautiful song I I promise we'll sound good together. And he let me do that. And that was like the coolest, like one of the really coolest parts of my career. And then my song, Me Too, like if I was you, I want to be me too.

Mostly written by Jason DeRullo and my good songwriter friends, Jay Cash and Ricky Reed. And I was writing with them at the time. I just changed the melodies up in the pre-chorus and a few lyrics. But I should have, I always feel so silly singing. walking like a dime piece I go straight to VIP because I'm like I never do these things like this twice maybe once or twice yeah I was like this is jason derrillo you know but they played me that song while we were doing my second album and I had songs like no and we were like we need a backup that's upbeat and they're like it's just weird if jason sings this because it's so confident and so like if i was

you i want to be me they're like it'd be better if a like a empowering female saying it and I was like I love this song. I would take this song in a heartbeat. Yeah. That's like a rare case. So you're open. You're totally open. Yeah.

Yeah. It's really rare. It has to be like a great song. But I mostly just go in and write. But I'm trying to write for other artists as well like I used to do more. Fun. Yeah. That's something that I look forward to doing too.

I just love to write. It's just so much fun. And your cousin writes. Yeah, Sarah. She's a great writer. Yeah. She's. Big hits.

She has written some big hits. Big tunes. Last time I saw her was at Do a Show. Yeah. She's written a lot for... Hey, cool girls. What's up? I know.

She is a cool girl. You know, it's that Italian. You can't help it. It just sort of... She's like a fashion icon, too. Every time I see her, I'm like, is it you? Yeah, it's you.

Okay. So we usually end every episode with one question that you guys have to answer like you guys say to each other which is if you could take one thing from your sibling that you would emulate what would that be and any and the other part of the question is is if you could oh I didn't know what emulate means words are hard for me Megan would like to know vocabulary I write pop songs that are simple love songs um sorry emulate if you if you if you could so yeah if you if something that you could like that you wish you had more of you know um and then the other and then the other part of the question is something that you wish you could

alleviate from your sibling that you think would make their life sort of this is fun this is fun okay wait wait i wish to have your i wish a lot of things bro i wish i had your high i wish i had your charm I wish I had your pretend confidence. Yeah, like you could walk genuinely in any place in any room and make friends. And I think I could do it, but I know you can do it. Wow. Oh, and I wish I could take away your... Stop saying so many things.

Sorry, I wish I could take away your, um, your alcoholic demons. And your, and I wish I could take all of your self-doubt and self-hate away. If I could... Oh. Wow. If I could. rip it out. If I could pay for it to be gone.

Oh, because you're just so cool and you hate yourself and you shouldn't because you're awesome. I love you. Thank you so much. That was very nice. That was well done.

I wish I got your confidence. No, I don't have any. Okay. I was you get emulate your love for life and love for your family of like an abundance of and discipline. I wish I could have your discipline

and work ethic. Yes. This is true. And your ability to choose the people around you to help you become better. Trust. Yeah. And then, what would you take away?

All of your anxiety. Oh, thank you. And your phone. And my phone, take it away. Take it away. My fear of death.

I have a big fear of death. You do. Well, that happens when you have babies. That's what it is, right? You don't get through it. I mean,

you got to figure that one out. I had a big one. When I had my first son, I was like, what it is. I can't die. You can't die. Nobody can die. Nobody can die. But then you got to work through it because I mean, fuck, we're going to die at some point. I know. I can't escape it. And I'm like, maybe I can biohack, but like, I can't. I know. And there's, you got to get peace with it. It'll make your life better. It'll make your life more peaceful. That's literally what my timeless

album is about. I wish I could be timeless forever. I know. I know. Well, you, you did. You will, because the album's out there. But personally, personally coming to terms of that, I think makes your life so much better because you're not going to, you're not going to beat that one. Yeah.

I know it's, I know it's a bummer. Do I have to do like ayahuasca? You might. You know, you don't. See, I knew she would. I need she to say that. No, dude, I'm, dude, I can't take tunnel B.M., dude. Or a hero dose of mushrooms.

No. You will snap. be in the hospital. No, you won't. I'll only do it with you in a room and we will kiss. Don't tell her to do a hero's dose so much. Do not. I will do a micro dose with you. No, no, no, micro dose doesn't count a hero dose. You should go and listen to Oliver and I's podcast with Matthew Johnson, who is a, who studies this at Johns Hopkins. He's like, he like heads up the psilocybin and an MDMA kind of research wing. It's so fascinating.

Hero doses of mushrooms in a controlled setting is game changer. Really? Yeah, it's fun. You die and come back to life as a plant. You live for a hundred years and you go, oh, now I understand.

I would do it in a hospital. They actually do it a lot with people who are terminally ill because they have so much fear. And it just completely changes their outlook and how they feel about their connection to

you know everything the universe it's magical get it do the hero knows oh my god you gotta be by my bedside you gotta be there

I'll be there I'll come for support but you guys honestly this has been so much fun thank you we could talk to you forever and I hope we do get to write together one day Megan that would be a blast me too

It would be so fun I support this I can't wait Will you guys Please tell me When you're in L.A. For your shows in the fall Yes October 19th

At the forum Okay great I'm gonna write it down And I'm gonna find you So that I can come Watch I can come see Yeah I know somebody I'll get you tickets

And then Oliver can join me on stage Oh please Oh he will Honestly don't don't do that It'll be a disson disaster. So my mom will cry so happy. She'll be so happy.

Ollie will only spin like R&B songs from the 90s. That's fine. I'm here for it. Yeah, that's going to be, that's his vibe. It'll be like, it'll be just like, you know, brandy all day long, Jodicey. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go.

That's Holly. Thank you so, so much for us. Thank you guys. I'm sure I'll see you again. We'll see you soon. Love you. Congrats on your life. Bye.

Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model. I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show.

I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues, by talking to the models, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls, and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, what did you help her? Listen to the curse of America. America's next top model on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of family secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.