Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: Break Up to Make Up

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

Christine Taylor and Ben Stiller made headlines when they were on the brink of divorce. Find out how the power couple avoided breaking up by breaking the rules. Christine shares the real reason they are still married and why taking a break doesn't have to mean breaking up for good.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And would it's like to be siblings? We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling rivalry. Don't do that with your mouth.

Sibling Revelry That's good And we're back For the second For the part two Part two of Christine Taylor Stiller

I like to call her CTS CTS CTS It was too good not to make too. This is the best. We love talking to her and let's just, yeah, let's carry on. Carry on, carry on.

I love how open you guys were about like separating and then coming back together because I feel like it's one of those things that a lot of people actually sometimes when they separate, they're like, I mean my dream is that we could have like a couple years

figure it out and then come back together. I know, well, it's funny. I kind of feel like if I had a couple years, I'd be good to come back to this. It is. I mean, if it can all work out, it's the fucking dream. Right. And it doesn't always all work out, right?

And sometimes it is best. And, like, I found it so fascinating that, you know, and it's just that thing where it just still keeps getting picked up. Like, if it comes up in an interview in a way where it's almost like, I think people are like, wait, are they, are they, are they, did they break up again? Are they back together again? because it kind of keeps coming up. But I do feel like it is important to talk about because it's also like I remember we had a therapist one say. The institution of marriage was formed

when the average lifespan was like 35. Like people died very young. Never thought about it. It explains all of my relationship issues. Right. Kate, this is revelatory. Is that a word if it is not, I may have made it up? Yeah, this is called revel.

It's called sibling revelry. I never thought of that. Right? So like... I'm divorcing immediately. Or just not. Or separate. Yeah, but it's true.

It's like, it's, we're re-in, like, nobody was meant to be together, like, long-term relationships, like, decades' worth. Yeah. It was never, it was never going to happen that long for people. Like a hard 10 and you're out. And that's the way to do it. That's the way to do it. Wait, it's so funny that we're saying this because it's also like on top of that travel, what, like, what your life looked like, you didn't like call each other or text each other every five seconds.

Like if you left, be like, if you lived in England, you're like, darling, I must go to Paris. It would be like a week and a half to even get there. Oh, forget about that. you know, these, these sailors would be like, babe, I'm going to work, see in two and a half years. Yeah, years. I mean, years. She's like, okay, honey, like, have a great time. Don't let the ship go down.

Right. Yeah. And it's, you know, I'm sure that that also, like, you know, you're living alone a lot of the time, which is probably kind of nice. You're not, like, always with that person. We're really getting to. You know, you get to write him a letter. You're like, the children have been growing. It's great if we get married and not be with each other.

That would be amazing. The children, the children might look very different. Yes. I do feel like, yes, there was growth. Like I've said it, I'm repeating myself, I said it in an interview already, but I really do feel like as adults, we also still have growth spurts the way kids do. Like, you know, every, however, I think I read something where it's like every seven years. There's a new, and you.

I thought that was. allergies. I thought every seven years you might get like develop allergies. I might have gotten it wrong. I forget the girl. You're right. I literally just came from doing Drew Barrymore's show and the whole thing was it was a

Valentine episode and it was love and relationships and we talked about sort of how you were constantly and always evolving as a human as a couple as a partner. Right? Right. That's the hope. You don't want to stay stuck. Right. Right. You know? And I do think people who

are seeking to evolve, you know, who go to therapy, who talk about stuff. Like, talking about stuff's really hard. It took me a long. I came, my family, like I said, you know, Catholic, there wasn't a lot of talking about everything growing up, really, truly. And I think my parents had us very young and they did their best. But that gets really ingrained in you. So, like, feeling protective of, well, I don't, if I say this, are they going to reject me?

Like, is it, you know what I mean? Like, it's very hard to open up. How did your kids, like, deal with it all? Well, I think they were. Was it communicated to them in a way that they could understand it? Yes, of course. Of course. And it was also, like, hard for them.

I mean, it was really hard. Like, I feel like it was, it shattered them in a way that I think, you know. And then even the coming back, too, was also sort of like. Was there a flip side of that? Like, yeah. It's so cute, though, I would love to know their perspective on something like that. Like, that must feel like such an accomplishment for them to watch. A hard thing about it, too, is like in this world that we're in, when it becomes so public, that's just the rub.

That's just the rub where it's sort of like people are reading about it or friends are commenting on it. And so it's not as private or as intimate as you would like it to be. but I do I do feel like they and also it was COVID that's the other thing too because I think we were back together longer than people knew

because nobody was out nobody was doing anything and it kind of came back together and evolved naturally for us but with a lot of work with a lot of therapy with a lot of talking with a lot of looking at our stuff

and really learning how to communicate together better and also communicate what our needs were separately better. Yeah. Yeah. You know? So. Was it a slow coming back together? Meaning like, all right, like, or let's give this a shot

again? Or was it just kind of organically, naturally fall back into that place but in a, it's better. Yeah. As a better as a better couple. Well, I think it was slow but in a weird way we were all under the same roof because of COVID. So it was like we were all

But you're like, let's have a glass of wine. We were all together all the time. Let's play. Scrabble. Like a lot of movie watching, a lot of like, and then. Right? Some sort of a show is that. So it was, yes.

It's not, it's a very unique. COVID's and I was like, maybe, you know, Matt and I could have a very nice, like, interconnected family. Yeah. Like, I love his wife. I love Matt. Yeah. I love my partner. My partner and Matt love each other.

Like, we could live together. All the kids love each other. Yeah. Like, why don't we all. get married. Why don't we just do one big community? We did, the Hudson's did COVID very well. My family was, my specific family was built for COVID.

My kids, my wife. Don't even get me sorry. I would not let him in my house. I was like, you're going to give me COVID. Oh, we were hanging out. I'm like, we had the neighborhood. We had a beautiful neighborhood. He had the isolated.

He was drinking beers. It like, like, there's this line I have in glass onion where, I'm like having a party and they're like is that are you having a party I'm like they're in my pod and it's that line for me was Oliver I'd call Oliver and I'd be like who the fuck are you talking to he's like they're in my pod yeah yeah he's like the biggest his pod was a neighborhood I was like 800 people in my house like they're all my pod I was like yeah but if you think background we were leaving our groceries out for like four weeks and I was like what the fuck we doing the groceries are literally sitting out

I'm outside, so I guess the COVID would just shed off of it. It just exactly. Disciate. It was just sort of like, three days, you know. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born.

born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other, sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country.

This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation. public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia,

and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric. that this is something we've been doing for a kind of two years, you carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges,

we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, Puzzlers. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs.

The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience? experience in podcast land. Jeopardy truthers who say that you were given all the answers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. Are there Jeopardy truthers? Are there people who say that it was rigged? Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like, they gave you the answers, right?

And then there's the other ones which are like, they gave you the answers and you still blew it. Don't miss Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings on our special game show week. of The Puzzler podcast. The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the Tech and Culture Podcast, Their Honor Goes on the Internet. Their Arnold grows on the Internet is not just about tech.

It's about culture and policy and art and expression, and how we as humans, and fit with one another. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet. I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration about the power of the internet for both good and bad.

They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice at the market that is often 12 hours away. They're not going to be like, we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them, and I think that's a real important story to keep repeating. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Listen to There are No Girls on the Internet on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I was going to say, and I know it's tough for the kids and all that, But, you know, the fact that you are public about it, you're probably helping so many people that you don't even realize. You know what I'm saying? Like, there are probably so many people who are having questions about their relationship and might need that break. And then watching it work is inspirational to a lot of people, I'm sure. I mean, I— I know that was maybe not your intention. No.

That's the byproduct. I feel like that made me happy to hear. Like, I always—I kept saying to people, I was like, why is this such big news to people? I was self-conscious about it in a way, and everyone's like, because it's actually just nice to hear good news. Like, it's nice when you hear stories like that. And, you know, like, interestingly, during COVID, Ben started working on a documentary about his parents who were, you know, married for 50 plus years, but worked together as a comedy team throughout that marriage. And Ben's dad kept document, like, he has, aside from just their public, the documentation of them on all the shows that they did and the talk shows and all of that sort of public information,

Jerry Stiller carried around a cassette recorder everywhere he went for his entire life. So like when we had the, when they would come over with the kids, he'd put the cassette player on the table and just talk and listen. And so he has recordings of he and Anne in their 30s working on their act and getting in arguments about it. And this like, and the documentary, which is, you know, Ben's just getting just, I mean, it's now almost four years later just finishing up. And it's so beautiful because it's really this, it didn't even start, it almost started as him kind of putting together what he had hoped was maybe like a love letter to them and a way to honor them and kind of assemble all of this. And what's really evolved out of it is this sort of love story that is very layered and very not as perfect as it looked, you know, like a lot of challenges behind the scenes and difficulties in there. It's really, really, really beautiful. And back in the day, and I know Ben talked about this recently on the talk show, but like people would go on those talk shows and like talk about.

this stuff like on Mike Douglas or it yeah like they would really get into these long discussion you know similar to a podcast but it was televised and they were all smoking cigarettes and everybody was talking about like you know we're in therapy and now jerry's doing that like real open raw stuff and so um so it's just a it's really interesting I think so good by the way agreed agreed it's just um I think just for us to like have seen that now in the form of this documentary, which people will hopefully see soon, but that relationship and just how sort of things, just how similar things can be. Like you always say, oh, I'm never going to do that because my parents, I saw that, that happened, I'm going to

break that. And you find that it's not as black and white, you know, it's like, God damn it. It's very laird. It's all very layered. crazy. During a separation, is there, is there a, is there a feeling of freedom? You know what I mean? Like, what is that? I mean, is there weight that gets lifted off of your shoulders for the time being? It's a lot. I mean, it's very emotional. I think it's a, it's a letting go in a way and sort of for me being able to, I love how you guys are about like, tell me more about this. But no, but I think for, for us, we were. We were always co-parenting.

We were always together. I mean, my kids were still fairly young. So I was still very just in being the mom and being present and, you know, but it was for me a period of time, I think, because I had, you know, been in relationships and dated people and then got married at 28 and was like, and I know you were super young, Kate. Like, what have I? I'm like, who am I now as an adult? Like, without another person that, like, I can dig deeper.

look deeper into me, and I think that was just, like, hugely important for me. Yeah. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born

outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel good? demoralized. I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to the moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for like kind of two years, you carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner

in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the Tech and Culture Podcast, There Are No Grows on the Internet. There Are No Grows on the Internet is not just about tech.

It's about culture and policy and art and expression and how we as humans exist and fit with one another. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the Internet. I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration about the power of the Internet for both good and bad. They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice at the market that is often 12 hours away. They're not going to be like, we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season.

It's an inspiring story that focuses. on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them, and I think that's a real important story to keep repeating. I created there are no girls on the internet because the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, puzzlers. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is,

What is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy truthers who say that you were given all the answers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. Are there Jeopardy Truthers? Are there people who say that it was rigged? Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like, they gave you the answers, right? And then there's the other ones which are like, they gave you the answers and you still blew it. Don't miss, Jeopardy Ledger. Ken Jennings on our special

game show week of the Puzzler podcast. The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I remember the time that I was like, I made the conscious choice to say, I'm the only common denominator in, obviously, I'm a very different story than yours, but the only common denominator in the failures of these relationships, failures, a choice to use. But that whatever it is that I'm doing is the, is the thing I need to, I need to look at, right? If I don't figure that out, I will, I will repeat it. I was hitting my head against this wall over and over and over again. And I remember when I went into like intensive therapy.

And, and then I kind of had this like crazy uncomfortable moment for a while where I was like, because he made me do all this stuff like not text boys and I couldn't have sex. I remember that. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She had like a gold chastity belt built. I was literally like, why I hate this?

It was like, it was like, just let me like smile at a boy, you know. But no, that was off the table. But I went through this like process of like profound, uncomfortable, like almost like no mojo, no sexuality, no nothing. I felt like dead inside. And. And then. And then slowly but surely through the therapy process, I kind of came out on the other end of it. And I remember thinking, oh, I love being alone.

I am so happy, right? Like with my kids in my space, I'm content. And then when I started reintegrating in what would it be like relationships or flirtation or anything like that, my experience to them was completely different because I'd never taken time. to myself. I'd always been in a relationship and I'd never been like alone with myself. Yes. And it was so

like talk about those seven years, whatever that moment was, you know, of like a complete shift of personal You developed hay fever. We're back to the allergies. It's an allergy callback. Thank you. Yes, I got you. I got you. It's not maybe a better word. But taking time to be alone is actually an incredible thing because you really do realize like what are those things that you want.

Yeah. And how can you get it from yourself instead of from another person? Because it's so easy to feel affirmed when, oh, they like me or this feels good. It feels good. I feel needed. I feel like that that is defining me. And suddenly when you are alone, you're alone. And it's, you realize, you've got to find it from, I think this is so, I know, do it.

It's an inside job, guys. No, no, of course. But you are, we are doctors, but it's not professional. We're doctors of our own spirits and we can then impart that wisdom on the other people. It's also, you forget sometimes when you're in a relationship for a long time that you don't ever want to take away someone's independent life experience, that there, that just because you're a unit doesn't mean that that person doesn't have their own individual desires and needs to have their to have their life experience.

Well, that's funny. I was going to ask you that question. You know, I was maybe too deep, but like we're probing. But do you feel like you sacrificed a lot of your career, of who you are, of everything because of the career that Ben had, what you had to do in that relationship? I think, it's interesting. because I remember making those decisions along the way at the time and feeling like I took real ownership of that. But I think Kate really hit on something is there was still something about just sort of the feeling of being a unit that you still had to compromise or get, you know.

And I take, like you said, I looked at the common denominator of like, here I am saying like, I'm doing everything for the family. and we're, you know, we're trying to stay together as a family union. But I also, there were times where I think I wasn't able to even know that about myself to be able to even articulate it because when you're in it in such a big way with two little kids and a family and my brother lived next door and my mom was close and my, you're in it so much and you're just kind of going day to day that you're not even taking a minute to think what is this the right decision, you know? And I do think like when we made the decision to move.

back east, which was like a, you know, a big, big family decision, like 13 or so years ago. That was that. And I remember to also saying, like, nothing is forever. Like, we can try this and see. You know what I mean? As hard as it is, because I loved my life there. Like, you talked about LA. Like, all of my friends were there. Our kids' friends were there. It was a really hard thing, even though our families were East Coast based. And I just, I, but I, but I, I think it just took being away from it a bit and doing my own work to get to that point where I feel like, yeah, now I can look at, so some of those things and say like, oh, I just didn't really, like, I couldn't articulate it because I didn't even know. Right. And now you're locked. Yeah, it's also like, forever. You cannot, you can't do this again. Deal with the devil. No. My mom, our mom, our mom always says, sometimes you got to say.

stop before you react and ask yourself if you do it without them because like I get into that habit sometimes of being like I'm doing this and I'm doing that and I'm going to kiss that and then my mom's like you do it without him and I'm like yeah that's good point actually like I like do you really want him to I mean and I'm like oh I never thought of it like right I would. You're right. I would. It's like you have these expectations of what like everything is supposed to be and look like

and how they're supposed to take this part because they're your partner. And then you're like, if you change the perspective, it's sort of like, it's a good reminder of like, wait, I'd be doing this. I just wish we could all be free and wild and just run around like crazy people. Nobody's stopping you. Naked and Nugs. Like, naked and hugs. Naked and hugs. She had it right.

She had it. I do the Ella every morning. We'll do the Ella. The naked and hugs, guys. I mean, it would be fun? Just like pure freedom, like running around. Like, yeah, you, this is fun. Like, no feelings.

All right, we got to wrap. Ollie, you got to fly. I got to catch a flight. Okay, you guys. Oh, this is the best. So much fun. Big bear hugs. So much fun.

So much fun. When we come East Coast, I'm going to hit you up. We have to. Please. I know we say it every time. Well, Kay, you might be coming here, right? I mean, and I'm in Toronto for six weeks, but I'll be coming to New York a ton. All right. Well, good luck with the, yes. Good luck with that. I will find us in New York and I love you guys. Thank you.

Yay, love you. Bye.