Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: Generational Anxiety

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

For 22-year-old bestselling author, Carrie Berk, it hasn't always been 'Peace, Love, and Cupcakes!"Despite Carrie's MAJOR success writing children's books, she has quietly 'carried' the burden of anxiety...UNTIL NOW! Plus, if you think YOU'VE suffered an inconvenient panic attack- wait until you hear how Oliver braved one in the bedroom!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. With the co-host feature, you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss.

Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe, save my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff. to the Good Stuff podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort.

to the Psychology Podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh.

Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson.

We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling Revee. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Reveory.

That's good. Ah. Yeah. That's how I feel right now. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Because I'm intermittent fasting once again. I've got problems, you know. It's like I go on these waves of workout, intermittent fast,

like be healthy and then, you know, fall off into some pit. But I went to the Lakers game last night was so much fun. And I'm not drinking during the week. This is my new thing. But then you go to the Lakers game. I'm like, how am I not going to have some beers? You know what I mean? It's like an impossibility not to. And I did. And then you have two beers. And then you have two beers. And And, you know, I'm with Kate, my sister. And she's like, let's have a, let's have a, a martini. I'm like, yeah. And then it's half time.

And then it's like, do you want another martini? I'm like, yeah. And then, you know, we finished the martini and we have some cool food. And then Kate's like, you know, should we do another one? I'm like, yeah, I'll just do a course light. And then I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Anyway. And then I came home and it was great.

And it was my son's birthday. yesterday, Bodie, who's 15, and it's my little man. And I'll talk about all that shit later. Anyway, we've got Carrie Burke waiting in our waiting room. I'm excited to talk to her. Interesting. She hit me up. And she's got multiple books, I think multiple bestsellers. She's got another book coming out. And she's a young buck who is tackling the issues of anxiety. which is just very cool to hear something from her perspective at this age, assuming, of course, she's probably gone through it herself. It's very timely.

As anyone who's listened to my podcast, you know, they know that I've been through my fair share of shit. So let's commiserate, let's experience, and let's try to be impactful. and figure some shit out, so bring her off. Hey, hey, hey. Hi. How are you?

I'm good. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Where are you? It looks city like. You're in New York? I'm in New York. Are you born in Ray's, New York? Yes. Family, siblings. Do you have siblings? No siblings.

No siblings. I know. I'm a little sad about it, but it's... Are you? I am. I feel like I wanted... like a best friend growing up. I had to learn independent all by myself. Yeah.

And did you ever give your parents shit about it? No, I feel like I only really got mad about it when I kind of turned 18 and I realized that I didn't really grow into my own because I didn't have like an older sister to look up to or an older brother to look up to.

I gave them shit about it when I like got older. But back then it was really nice because I got all the attention. Of course. But you can blame all of your problems on your parents now because if they had only given you a sibling, you would be perfect.

You would have no mental health issues. You would not be ailing in any way whatsoever because you had a partner in crime. So at least you have that excuse. Exactly. I have no excuse. You have no excuse. I have no excuse.

I have siblings. I've got siblings. Well, thanks for coming on. Thanks for hitting me up. You know, I've obviously, you know, talked about my anxiety, you know, issues growing up. First started in my 20s and it was, you know, I've talked about it before, but it was almost like having a heart attack. Went down to a knee, not understanding what it was. Thought I was dying on the streets of Hollywood, you know?

and that sort of began the journey of a bit of self-discovery, of course, because we're trying to figure out where or why this has happened, where it comes from why it's happened. I went and I did all the tests. I mean, I thought I was dying. You know, it's heart, this, that, okay. And then meditation, journaling, in my first bout, anyway, sort of got me through it, but there was still this residual feeling of just unease.

and then I went on Selexa. And then after that, I've had sort of two more pretty gnarly bouts of it. All the while sort of living with, you know, some low-grade stuff. But as you know, we learn how to manage it. The feeling becomes a little bit more normalized. It doesn't get as scary. So I'm glad to have you on. And how old are you?

We were 20s, early 20s? 22. 22 and you're prolific meaning how many books have you written already 22 are you shitting me I'm not shitting you okay so explain how this happened because it's such a young age yes how are you even how did you even develop that the work ethic you know what I mean yeah sit down and start writing books your executive functioning must be off the charts I don't even know I think I've just had such a passion for writing since I was a little girl. So the majority of the books I wrote previously were with my mom. I wrote children's books growing up with her. And that's

kind of how I got into it. But as I've grown older and kind of when the pandemic hit, I really decided to come into my own as a writer and come out with my first solo debut book. So I'd written about all these children's book topics before, but I wanted to write about things that are more pertinent to me and my generation and also just do something that matters and write about topics that matter. So my first book was about romance and dating and kind of how I learned how to navigate those tricky waters as a teenager in dating in New York City because it is very tough. And I talk a lot in the book about how once I went through my whole anxiety journey and I found self-love. That's really when I felt like I could find a partner. And that's what really

resonated the most with people in that first book. So I kind of took that and ran with it. And that's what brought me to write my latest book, which is called Mindfire. So when you wrote the first book, Pandemic, you're 22. So are we looking at like 18, 19 years old? Is this? Yeah. So I was class of 2020. I didn't have any from or graduation or anything like that. So it was a really tough year for my entire class. I bet. I want to get into all that. But first, you're writing a book about romance and finding love at such a young age, which is interesting because these are sort of our exploratory years when, of course, we want to find someone we love, a partner, you know. I mean, I'm 48, but I remember when I was

18 or 19 years old, you know, the world is our sort of oyster. minus anxiety, minus the things that are holding us back from experiencing the world as we want to. But it's really interesting that you're writing a book about love and romance for this generation. It's interesting. I haven't read it about what angles are you taking? You know what I mean? Because it's not a forever thing. I mean, maybe it is.

But, you know, how are you boiling that down to your demographic? So I like to call it the Gen Z Sex in the City. I was named after Carrie Bradshaw. I feel like I was kind of destined to write this. That's so funny. You know, I did an episode of Sex in the City. Oh, that's so cool. And I was just on Kristen Davis.

I just did her podcast yesterday. I was just with her yesterday. I love it. Sex of the City is literally in my blood. My mom looked at the, like, the HBO website for Sex and the City. when I was born. So she wanted to name me Carrie. And everyone was like, no, no, you can't name her Carrie.

That's too embarrassing because Sarah Jessica was pregnant at the same time with her son. So she named me Caroline and I go by Carrie. But funny enough, and I write about this in my book, when I was 12, I became friends with her son. Oh. I had no idea who she was. Like my mom didn't introduce me to sex and sex. the city until I was of age. Yeah.

So one day she was dropping me off at a play date with the sun and she opened the door and it was Sarah Jessica. She said, oh, my God. Oh, wow. You have no idea. This woman inspired your name and I just had no idea at the time. It was just one of my good friends. Wow.

That must have been shocking. Yeah. I mean, it was a very nice house. Yeah. I feel like we knew something was up. Yeah. I mean, I was a fan of Ferris Bueller. I saw it, Hugh Broderick, and I was like, oh, my God. No, no, no, that's Sarah Jessica Parker. All right. You're like, great, but I don't care. It's, it's, it's, it's Farris Bueller.

Farris Bueller. Farris Bueller's in a swimming pool. Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah. Back to your question. Yeah. Why I'm writing about love at 18. So I feel like there were not a lot of books out there written by a teenager for teenagers talking about that topic. And even though it's not necessarily you finding your forever person at age 18, I mean, maybe, but likely not. These are really important, formative years of our lives. You might be falling in love for the first time, getting your heartbroken for the first time. And people don't really have a guide on how to navigate that beyond a wiki how or like data that scientist posts or anything like that or like experts. It's not coming from the source and someone

who's going through it. So I took my skills as a writer and my knowledge as just an 18 year old girl and use that to write a book. Did you have experience though with heartbreak, with love, with rejection, with all of that? Were you writing from a place of experience or was you were? Okay. Yeah, for sure. Not to say that you can't write from a place. from an outside perspective, you know, but, you know, if you had experience with some of these things, then it can resonate. Yeah, for sure. I wrote about getting my heartbroken, falling up for the first time.

And then on top of that, it's just a fun read because growing up in New York City and dating, growing up as a social media influencer at 18 and dating in the whole social media, TikTok world, I have some really funny, interesting stories. and people wanted to read it. Yeah, that's so great. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment,

a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized. I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you death and analysis

from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to the moment with with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judeyce. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Role Star, Sheena Shea.

I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom. It was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive.

My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for hundreds of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornales, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep tradition. alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream.

Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech and culture podcast. There are no grows on the internet. There are no grows on the internet is not just about tech. It's about culture and policy and art and expression and how we as humans exist and fit with one another. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the Internet. I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something.

Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration about the power of the Internet for both good and bad. They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice at the market that is often 12 hours away. They're not going to be like, we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season. It's an inspiring story that focuses. on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them and I think that's

a real important story to keep repeating. I created there are no girls on the internet because the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken

and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new announcements. stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house.

Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on street. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

My son is 17, and he's had a girlfriend for two years, 15, when they got together. And it's real, you know, it's real love. Yeah. And it's really interesting to watch him mature because of it. You know, you're no longer just responsible for yourself and your feelings. You know, you have to take into account someone else's. feelings. There's a ton of sacrifice, you know, where he wants to do something with his friends, but, you know, he's made plans with his girl. And it's really amazing to watch him sort of navigate

that and to see his maturity levels just sort of rise. Yeah. I was similar. I was 15, 14. I met my high school girlfriend and she was my high school sweetheart through all of high school, you know and uh i i love that i think it's really amazing to sort of fill in that gap because i'm not sure i've ever heard of anyone writing about young love that way and that's why it to fill the game yeah no it's great so let's go to your anxiety let's talk about that for a second because fun stuff yes it's amazing i found though i mean obviously you know i was i'm 48 i was 23 or 24 when I first had my bout, right? And it wasn't necessarily, of course, technology wasn't what it is now.

Everything wasn't right in our hands that, you know, and we were inundated with algorithms. So it wasn't necessarily at the forefront of things where anxiety right now is almost hot. Like ADHD and anxiety are hot right now, you know. And my son actually went through it, Wilder, who I was telling you about. My mother went through it the same age that I did, you know, so I think there's some sort of a genetic component to it, which I don't know if that's scientifically proven or not. But nowadays, right? So, but I would talk about it, never was afraid to express how I was feeling. And it was really comforting to hear people give it back to me.

And saying, oh, yeah, I'm going through that. I go through that. I've been through that, you know. So for you to write a book about it, your experiences with it, the people that it's probably going to reach and help, it's tremendous. But talk about sort of how this happened, what age, how did you know it was anxiety? So I was very similar to you. I didn't know it was anxiety.

I thought I was dying. At the time, I thought it was COVID, because it's the middle of it. of COVID. So I had a panic attack one night. Basically just couldn't breathe. My hands were shaking. I was sweating. Just cookie cutter panic attack. But I didn't know what it was. So I went to the doctor next day and got a COVID test and it wasn't COVID. And my mom said, this sounds like it's anxiety. And to me, anxiety was the same thing as stressed. I thought it was like the butterflies I'd get before a test at school. I never really understood what anxiety was. until I started to experience it frequently.

So I would get those panic attacks a lot, most likely as a result of just eating, sleeping, and breathing as an 18-year-old girl being isolated in her adulting years. And it was just really tough. And one day I was at a pumpkin patch with one of my friends. And she told me that she also had anxiety, but to the point where she cut herself. And she showed me her wrists. And that image of her wrist stuck in my mind for a really long time. And I couldn't let go of that image.

And I was convinced that if I had anxiety and she had anxiety, then I was destined to end up like her. And I couldn't shake that thought. And eventually it just became such an overwhelming, intrusive thought. Because I didn't want to hurt myself that wasn't necessarily a logical thought. For some reason, I couldn't let go of it. so one day i just like collapsed over my peloton bike started crying and said i can't take this anymore like i have to get help so i went to see a therapist and my therapist told me that it was oCD and same thing i did not know what oCD was beyond what we see in the media which is keeping your pencils in order

excessive cleaning i didn't really understand that oCD can really be mental an intense mental rumination that is debilitating. So it took time and a lot of education into the world of OCD and anxiety. And throughout it all, I was writing these diary entries to kind of make sense of everything, nothing that I ever wanted to publish just to kind of help me make sense of what was going on inside my mind. And I turned a corner probably about two years into it, so 2022, when I realized, it wasn't going to get better and it's okay to admit that because anxiety doesn't have

a finish line. We don't strive towards being cured or anything. We just strive towards being stronger so that when it comes up we know how to tackle it better. And that's kind of when I started to learn a lot more and I looked back at these

diary entries and it was really, I think maybe 2023 or beginning of 2024, When I started piecing the entries together and I realized that I was at a point where I felt confident enough in my anxiety to publish them, but I didn't want to just publish them as personal essays. I wanted to put them into a book because, again, there's a gap out there. There's not enough people who are in their 20s talking about their anxiety. There's the data. There's

the scientists. You can read all that. But it's so much more powerful to read from someone who's going through it that you can relate to to help you feel less alone. Yeah. That's the long-winded version of how mine seemed to be. No, no, not at all. It was not at all long-winded. But I wonder, so you had that first panic attack, not knowing what it was, and it's scary as shit, because it's like, I'm dying.

Yeah, it's the worst. So once you were able to come to terms with the fact that you weren't dying, it still doesn't get better until you actually dig in and live with it and then begin to understand that it's just a feeling and it's not going to kill you and then sort of disassociating yourself from you as the human and your anxiety meaning you are not your anxiety you just have it you know I was in did you do cognitive behavioral therapy is that what you were doing or yeah cognitive behavioral therapy and also exposure and response prevention therapy for my OCD so for example like closing my eyes and envisioning the intrusive thought really living it and

and imagining it in vivid detail in order to desensitize yourself to it. It's just super hard. Yeah, I bet. So, but when did, how did it manifest itself after that first sort of panic attack on the day to day, on the daily, you know, how was your, how was it manifesting itself? Well, before the pumpkin patch, it was all physical. It was just me sweating, shaking. I would like drop my breakfast on the floor because my hands were shaking so much.

I was having trouble breathing, just shallow breaths. And then after the pumpkin patch, it kind of flipped a switch and it was purely mental rumination. So I had managed to convince myself that because I had anxiety, I was destined to hurt myself. And I was just like waiting for waiting for something to give. Like I didn't trust myself anymore because I felt like I saw this image in my future. and I was convinced that, like, I was going to get there, even though I didn't want to get there. And it was just me logicking through that thought over and over again every day. So I would literally sit and look at my ceiling and go, I'm really confused.

I don't know why I'm having this thought. I don't want to hurt myself, but I can't stop thinking about it. So what do I do? I don't want to hurt myself because X, Y, Z. So I just, like, logic through it. And once I reached a point of resolution, five, minutes later it would start all over again and that's what oCD is you're obsessing over the thought you're performing the compulsion by telling yourself why the thought isn't true and by doing that

it's like filling a cup with a hole in it you're just going to eat that over and over again yeah yeah yeah and you can't stop that's the frustrating part whereas it's oh just like carry stop fucking thinking about it you know what I mean but it's it's you can't and the number of times I heard that too Like when I first school my mom. Of course. Just stop thinking about it. Think of something else you don't like. Yeah.

It's that girl in school that's bullying you. Why can't you like imagine being so mad at her? And I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like the reason why I'm latching on to this thought is because it's something I value. I value my life. OCD latches on to things that you care about and that are of most value to you. And at the time, the pandemic, I vowed to the problem. living i wanted my life back so of course that's what my ocd latched on to yeah yeah and how did

how did it affect your sort of daily life because if it went from that physical to that those just ruminations were you able to live a normal existence of course it was covid but right you know were you able to sort of you know walk around do your thing and yes you're ruminating but it wasn't physical like and I'm asking this because for me it was physical you know what I mean like in in the first bout it was stomach like I would throw up you know I would go on if I walked outside I would throw up there and that I wasn't breathe I was shallow breath I'd be having sex with my wife and and it was just kind of like you got to get off like I couldn't function from a physical standpoint and then of course it changed in my last bout it was it was

it was very different, which was about five years ago, you know. But did it affect your walk-around, your daily existence? Yeah, but different in a sense that people may not have known as much as maybe for you, like if you were physically vomiting and saw that. So, yes, I was struggling, but nobody knew. I just wasn't present. I was going about my day-to-day life. At the time, I was blowing up on TikTok.

So on the outside, it looked like I had this massive success. I was making money. It looked like everything was wonderful. But I was not present. I felt depersonalized. I would be walking around and my surroundings would be blurry. So I would be functioning and I would be there, but I wouldn't really be there. It's that disassociation where you don't feel real.

And that's what my son said to me. when it first started, he's like, dad, I just don't feel real, you know, and I get that. Where are you just like, what universe am I living in right now? That's a good way of putting it, almost like you're on the outside, looking in on yourself. Yeah. Take yourself out of it, but you can't. I am on Lexapro. Me too.

Yeah. Are you on Lexapro? Yeah. Yeah. So, and it helped. And my last bout was when I tried to wean off of it And I did it properly

It's so hard Oh I did it I thought I did it properly And I was just like You know what I don't think I need this anymore I mean I feel good So let me just you know Not really knowing why I was just like I just don't want to be on it

And I don't even know why but I did it And oh man It fucked me up Yeah big time I tried to I think I went down like five milligrams, like a tight bit. Yeah. And a total freak out.

And then I was like, I'm not doing this. Nope. Yeah. I did it. I started like this is a few years back, but I started maybe May, you know, March. And, you know, actually February started my wean process. And then once I hit the summer months, I was a fucking basket case. Yeah.

But I was still fighting. And I'm like, I'm going to get through this. I'm going to do it. I'm going to fucking do it. And then I get. a call of like they want you to do this TV show in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And I'm like, okay, I can't, I can't go work like this. Like this would be insane. You know what I mean? So I said, I fuck it. I guess I just go back on, you know. Yeah. Go back on it. It's,

there's no shame in taking medication. Obviously, it's not everything and not everybody needs it, but it certainly helps. And especially if you're someone who's debilitated by something like anxiety or OCD, it just takes the edge off. It's not a cure-all, but it helps you be a little bit better functioning of a human. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paula Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians.

I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith. But there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective.

There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other, sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judea Ace. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Role Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana.

Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing

for like hundreds of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream.

Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the Tech and Culture Podcast, there are no grows on the internet. There are no grows on the internet is not just about tech. It's about culture and policy

and art and expression and how we as humans exist and fit with one another. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet. I love tech.

You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration about the power of the internet for both good and bad. They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice at the market that is often

12 hours away. They're not going to be like we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them, and I think that's a real important story to keep repeating.

I created there are no girls on the internet because the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge

your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more. found the stream to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner.

He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. tune in on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Where are you at right now with all of it?

You know, I mean, are you pretty stable or do you still have, now that you are on Lexapro or are you just cool all the time? So the difference with the Lexapro is my physical symptoms are reduced. So I think anxiety and intrusive thoughts are pretty constant. I'm going to live with them my whole life. It is what it is. As someone with OCD, they're just going to stick and it is what it is. The difference, though, is I can have these intrusive thoughts every day. And sure, they suck and I'm annoyed by them, but they're not debilitating.

So every time I get a thought, every day, I'm not panicking anymore. I'm not sitting there crying. Sometimes, like maybe every other. every other month, sure, I'll have a panic attack or I'll get really upset that an intrusive thought is, but the difference is I'm not sitting there every day, ruminating over a thought, crying about it. I see the thought in my head and I go, okay, I know you're not real. Yeah, it really sucks. You're there. But I know what you are and we're going to move on. We're not going to react. We're going to separate this thought from the feelings of fear and sadness that are

attached to it and just move on with my life. Is that part of the process that you have developed, sort of the tools that you have in your toolbox? Yeah, I love the toolbox metaphor. I know. It's your toolbox. I know. It's so corny.

But it's like there's a visual component to it that I strangely like. You know, it's definitely overused. But, you know, because you can pull the wrench out of the screw. I don't know. It's like. It's like about it. Totally works. But, yeah, stopping thought from feeling so that when the thoughts arise, your emotions aren't too attached to them, I think is important.

Exercise, I'm a big runner. That's huge, by the way. I mean, exercise is big. I mean, even from a clinical standpoint, when you read about depression anxiety from doctors, from medical professionals, at the top of the list before medication is exercise. I mean, you know, eat, diet, exercise, it's huge. I feel like we hear it everywhere, but it's so true. During the pandemic, I got into running, and I didn't just want to do, like, a quick three miles.

Like, I was a total psycho. I was in love with running. I thought that when I was out on the road and I was just running forever, everything, like, went away. All the thoughts went away, if only for, like, an hour or two. And I craved that feeling. So I was in the Hamptons during the pandemic. And it was this long road.

And I just kept running and running and running until I got to the end. And then I turned back. And one day, it was like seven miles. And I came home. And I'm like, I'm going to become a runner. I'm going to run a half marathon. And my mom was so mad. She's like, you're going to get her.

This is really stupid. And I'm like, no, no, no. Turns out I ran a half marathon. I did get hurt. You did? I did. I stress fractured both my shins. Oh my God.

Well, I mean, I had no training. Yeah, you just went for it. I was just going. I was running every day. I was in the wrong shoes. I wasn't schooling. Whatever. I was destined to get hurt.

She was right. Yeah. Yeah. But he later now. I just ran my fifth half marathon. You did. Sunday. Oh, yeah.

My friend Alex just did too in New York. I did half. Yeah, he did the half. Yeah. Great. Race. And we just had, the L.A. Marathon was here, too, last Sunday. Yeah, I saw that.

Yeah, I should try it. I, yes, I mean, but I'm like a three-mileer. You know what I mean? Like, I do it for workout. And I do love it because you do get into that meditative sort of pattern, that runners sort of focus. It takes me about a mile. The first mile, I fucking hate it.

Yeah. I'm just like, oh, I hate that. And then you get into that zone. Yeah. But I'm like you. Sometimes, well, now that I'm even thinking about this, it was during my anxiety, I would just go and I would run. And before I knew it, I was like 13 miles, you know. And then I'm like, what the fuck am I doing, you know?

And I still got to go home. So I'd get an Uber home because I was just so in the sort of locked in moment. And then I'd wake up and just my body was devastated. But in the moment, I wasn't even thinking, you know. I love it. I actually, I write in my book about how when I ran a marathon in 2022, a full, and I had a panic attack at mile 20. No.

Marathon. And it was just the worst timing, some, like, random family member that I don't even talk to, like I'm not friendly with, was at the other side of the bridge that I had the panic attack on. And he helped me through it. Like, he stood there and helped me breathe. And it was just the most miserable. end to the marathon. Oh my God. So I vowed to myself that I would do it again one day. I would apply redemption. If I got a panic attack, I'd know how to handle it. Yeah. I did it again in November

and I started to panic at like mile 13 and I call my boyfriend and I'm like, this is not about to happen. Like he got to talk me through this and help me breathe for a mile on the phone. And I was like soaring to the end. I was great. Wow. So. what do you what do you attribute that to you know the first one maybe the second one is almost like pavlovian in a weird way it's you know because anxiety it creates anxiety creates anxiety as you know right i mean i have i used to be anxious about getting anxious yeah that's that's how that's how we roll and anyone who has anxiety can completely understand that you know oh my god am i am i going to have a panic attack am i going to am i going to be anxious and all of a sudden that just

creates it. So was that sort of the second panic attack was like, you know, I don't want to. I'm railing against it so much and the fuck here it comes. I think it's valid to be anxious about being anxious. I honestly think it was mile 13. I started to get tired and that made me anxious because I realized that I had another 13 miles to go and I felt like I could lay down and take a nap already. So then I started freaking out. So it didn't out of nowhere. I would It was just like, oh, I'm really tired. My legs are starting to hurt. Uh-oh, this is going to be it.

I'm not going to fish and then it kind of stacks on together. Do you drink? Like alcohol or drink during America? Alcohol. I don't drink. Yeah. Not crazy. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I do. But I was just, I was, you know, correlating sort of drinking, you know, to your anxiety where it can just, it can just exacerbate it. you know what I mean it's horrible rarely do I drink yeah um yeah not much of a a drinker it doesn't really good doesn't help anxiety I don't like the taste of it yeah and so you said you have a boyfriend yeah okay how has he done had dealt with that or is it even an issue you know and I asked that because when I got together with who's now my wife you know Aaron I was 24 years old and she was right in the middle of my insanity. And she didn't, she was very supportive, but didn't understand it.

You know, she's like, I don't get it. You know, you come from an amazing family, you know, everything is great in your life. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you, you know? So you had to teach her about it then. A little bit, but I had to teach myself too. So we kind of learned together. At that point, I had no idea. I'm like, I don't know.

Like, I get that. but I'm crying in the shower because I can't leave the house. So that's my reality. I don't know why, but it is what it is, you know. That's so valid. I feel like it's a learning curve with any significant other. If you're saying lives with intense anxiety or medicated for it. I write about this too in my book.

I think at the very end, when I met my boyfriend, I told him about it pretty early on, but I don't think he really understood until he saw it. I was having an intrusive thought, and I felt so guilty about it that I just, like, completely broke down, like, probably one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had, because I was just humiliated. Like, here was this first, like, great love, like, someone I could actually see a future with, and I felt so broken. And I broke down.

I was crying. I'm like, I'm just too broken to love you. he goes, Carrie, we're all a little fucked up. And I'm like, that's, I'm like, that's so mean. And then now we laugh about it. And I'm like, you are so right. Like, we're all a little fucked up. I love your boyfriend, because that's my fucking motto.

You and I are the same. I always say, I'm like, we're, I was like, we're all fucked up. We are all fucked up. Every human on this earth has some sort of issue. We're all fucked up, you know? I think it's like a guy, mindset just like easy going it is what it is yeah that's me but yeah he he made me like stand up because i was like on my knees crying and he like sat next to me like helped me breathe first and

then once i got my breath back he made me stand in front of the mirror and like repeat like things to myself like you're okay everything's going to be okay i am i am like fine i'm beautiful I'm special like all the day he made me and I felt so stupid but he's so good and he's done a really great job in trying to understand because there is really such

a learning curve. Nobody learns about anxiety and OCD in the way that a lot of people experience it which is in such a debilitating way. He said to me the other day that he saw OCD like represented on TV and it was like the cleaning

and stuff and he laughed at it And he's like, these people have no idea. And he's like, I never would have even thought about that before I met you. Like, thank you for opening my eyes. I feel like I've learned so much. And that's something that I look for in someone, like someone who really understands you and makes an effort to learn if they don't understand. Yeah.

I'm very grateful. And what are his problems? There are his problems? Literally. I'm like breaking down. I'm like, you're so perfect. Do you have any? the other way.

Try to be. Tell me you have something wrong. Right, exactly, exactly. Please have a panic attack. Yeah, make me feel alone. Well, let's talk about your book. We've touched upon it a little bit, but why don't you just give us a little sort of overview?

Yes. So my story, which I told you, I obviously tell my story in the book, but this is a roadmap for anyone who is struggling with their mental health and just looking to feel less alone. I'm not going to tell people why their thoughts aren't true or try to disprove anything. I mentioned in Mindfire that relatability is so much more powerful

than reassurance that you get in anxiety. So in reading this, I hope people just, what are you laughing at me for? No, I'm laughing because I'm connecting with that. It's so fucking true. Relatability is way more powerful than someone trying to sort of fix it or say the right thing because it's like, you don't fucking get it.

Yeah, like, you're going to be okay. It's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, the number of times my mom has literally said to me, you're fine, it's okay, you're going to be okay. And I'm like, that just doesn't help. No, I know, I know. So each chapter in the book is dedicated to a different emotion that you experience when you're going through anxiety

or whatever mental health struggle you might have. have. So there's loneliness, restlessness. I talk about heartbreak. I talk about grief and losing my grandma for the first time and how that was unique because I had to attend a funeral while having these intrusive thoughts about death and that sucked. So I talk about lots of stuff. And my main hope is that people read this and they're able to relate in a way that they might not necessarily be able to relate to statistics that are out there. It really are no people that are my age telling their stories in a raw, authentic manner that people can relate to. Is it anecdotal? Are you giving your own experiences based on these chapter headings?

Yeah, it's, it's memoir. So it's, got it. Like, there's a story in every chapter, but also little self-help boxes along the way. So I interviewed real life therapists, and I have them give definitions along the way of real therapy terms. So depersonalization, intrusive. thought because like I said, education is so important. So I want to have the relatability piece, but I also want people to learn a little something along the way. That's great. And is it geared towards your age group demographic? Of course, it's universal. There's no doubt about that. Anxiety is universal. I mean, as I said, my kid Wilder was 17, but he was 13 or 14 at the time. And I could relate to it as a 48-year-old dude. You know what I mean? So,

So it spans all demographics, but as far as dealing with it, as far as sort of, you know, the way that your outlook from your perspective as a 22-year-old is the book geared towards that? So it's catered to people who are going through their adulting era, I like to say, in their 20s. So, yes, it's catered to people in their 20s. But to be honest, like these topics are so universal. I feel like anyone at any age who has anxiety can relate to the feeling of being lonely and feeling lonely in it or feeling restless or feeling angry. So these emotions apply to everyone. The anecdotes are just from me growing up and 20 something. That's so great.

Pre-order the book. Yes. Pre-order helps authors a lot. I will say, I'm not making a penny off this book. Like, I'm not making any money off this book. I'm literally just promoting the shit out of it because I think it has the potential to reach so many people. I love that.

And help so many people. And pre-order kind of helps authors boost their platforms. Yeah. That's why I'm doing this. Mindfire. It's about the money. Well, then let's pre-order this shit. Mindfire.

Pre-order it. Here it is. And show it. Ah. We have it. Nobody else has it. Look at you, the photo shoot, huh? You know who shot this cover?

Have you ever seen like Eric's Next Top Model? Yeah. Nigel Barker. Oh my God. Yeah, I know that guy. That's amazing. So iconic. He convinced me not to wear much makeup in it.

I don't think he could do that. Like, give me my fake lashes. Give me full glam. No, I know. It's kind of great. You're like, make me look sexy as shit. on the cover of an anxiety book. Yeah, but he's like no, no heavy makeup.

Yeah. Zoom in on your face. We're going to see like the wrinkles. I'm like, I don't know about that. But sure, no laugh. We'll settle on that. Well, I need one. I want to read this.

I really do. I've read a million books, you know, on anxiety. But I would love to, I would love to take a peek at this for sure. We have to get you one. Yeah, send me one. I will. Definitely. You will get an advanced copy.

This is the advanced copy. I want the advanced copy. Nobody has this right now, but me, my boyfriends finally get to read it. Okay. My dad. That's about it. Well, when you are ready, you send that to me. I definitely want to read it.

And mine, before we get out of here, Mindfire, I just, I mean, I get it, but how did that come about? The title? Okay. So, it's funny. Originally, the title was going to be Diary of an Anxious 20-something, which is the stuff. title and i wanted something a little bit like snappier and more catchy so i liked girl on fire when you when you're going through anxiety it feels like your brain's on fire yeah i want to put the fire out yeah like girl on fire but then i was like no like that's too similar to releasea keys

so then i like brain on fire but brain sounds like clinical yep mind on fire and then i cut the on I'm like, mine fire. And I can't fix that because it's coining a new term. Love it. I think it's great. Send me your other one too. I will. I don't know.

So I'm an actor, but I also produce. I have a deal at Fox. I don't know. I want to read these because as we've been talking, there's something here in the TV space, I think. So the reason why I hit you up, this is pretty embarrassing. So I was watching The Voice, one of my best friends on the boys. and I saw your sister on the voice and someone's like oh my god they have a great podcast and I'm like shit that's so smart like this is these people would be amazing and this would resonate with

them so that I did some research on you and I'm like I've got to hit him off like hey I love that you did I really do this is awesome to talk to you well I appreciate you thank you so much for chatting this is awesome and maybe maybe there's a future for us I think you got some cool shit. Yeah. Well, we'll talk soon. All right. Thanks, care.

Bye. Bye. Fun, what a smart young lady. Man, I love that. When I was 22, I was fucking maniac. Actually, when I was 22, that was between my girlfriend and then my wife. So I was single and, like, losing my mind. She was in the Hamptons running, you know, trying to get better.

I was in the hamptons in a pool that was rented by the Playboy Playmates. Like, that's what I was doing at 22. It was a great night. It was insane. I was in that pool from, let's see, four in the morning until 7 p.m. the next day. Yeah. That was fun.

That was 22. You know, I'm glad those days were over. Holy shit. Anyway, that was awesome. I mean, she's just on point. Anyway, all right, I love you. I'm going to get out of here. I'm saying too many things.

Bye. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump role star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like,

Congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money? No thank you. Instead, check out Brown Ambition. Each week, I, your host, Mandy Money, gives you real talk, real advice with a heavy dose of I feel uses. Like on Fridays when I take your questions for the BAQA.

Whether you're trying to invest for your future, navigate a toxic workplace, I got you. Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, it's Gemma's Begg, host of the Psychology of Your 20s. This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation. I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own judgment of ourselves. So according to this study, not being liked. actually creates similar pain levels as real-life physical pain.

Learn more about the psychology of everyday life and, of course, your 20s this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers believe in I guess they would be conspiracy theorists

That's right To give you the answers And you still blew it The puzzler Listen on the IHeart radio app Apple Podcasts Or wherever you get your podcasts It's important that we just

reassure people that they're not alone And there is help out there The Good Stuff podcast season two Takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation A nonprofit fighting suicide In the veteran community September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe saved my life twice.

Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.