Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: Grieving, Feeling, and Believing with Kelly Rizzo

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Bob Saget's widow, Kelly Rizzo talks to Oliver about love, loss, and looking ahead with a heart full of hope.Kelly gets candid about the night Bob passed, how she found out, and why she had a bad feeling.Plus, she tells Oliver what Bob would think about her new boyfriend!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. With the co-host feature, you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcast, or wherever. where you get your podcast. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rolls Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me.

I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry.

No, no. Sibling Reveory. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Revely. That's good. Hey, yeah. That's my intro. It's my intro clip.

It just goes like this. Oliver Hudson on Sibling Reveller. it's sort of like a minor note which it's like starts with ah which is like kind of happy and then it goes ah which you're you're descending down into you know the minors you know which is like oh man like ah and then you hit that uh which means you're just like depressed so uh this this little signature that I've just created. It starts with like, oh, life is good. And then you can even drop down to that base if it's getting really bad. So that is my new signature. And as you listen to this show, you will know what my mood is based on whether it's an ascending, ah, which is like,

oh, life is pretty fucking good. Or, ah, ah. which means like, I woke up this morning. Things are so, like, the many you wake up in the morning, you know, you open your eyes and it's a fresh day. Life can be anything. So there's this sense of optimism when you open your eyes. Like, oh, okay, it's a, it's a, it's a new day. And then, you know, as the minutes take on, it just goes to, ah, uh, you know what I'm saying? it's rare for me when it's just goes

where it's just fucking flying all day anyway this is Oliver Hudson in case you are just tuning and we have I have we have a really fun guest today Kelly Rizzo

I have never met her but she was married to Bob Sagitt who I actually knew pretty well. And I'm excited to have a conversation with her about multiple things, not just Bob, you know, and grief and sort of how one deals with something like that. And I'm sure it's all individual. Everyone has their own ways.

But also digging into sort of fresh love, what it's like, how to, you know, get over the hump and find love again. Special Forces, who's on that show, I want to talk to her about that. And, you know, whatever comes into my stupid brain. You know what I'm saying? But let's bring, let's bring Kelly in. Hello.

How are you? I'm good. How are you? I am, hmm, let me think. Because everyone just automatically says, oh, I'm good, you know what I mean? When I ask, I sincerely ask. But do you, really? I mean, I guess it depends.

It depends on the context of their time. Like walking past somebody in the street is a different story than me asking you right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm okay. I'm good, all right? I'm good. I've got my health. I've got my kids.

Great is sometimes tough. You know, it depends on what your standard of great is. Some people wake up and life is great. And I know we need to be, we need to have these positive. affirmations, you know, and wake up every morning and being like, you know, life is great and it's going to be a great day. And I believe in that. But at the same time when you're re-evaluating sort of your life, it's evaluating your day. Do you do the positive affirmations? Yeah. You know, I was heavily into it just writing in my journal, you know, every morning. And I would sort of

just write 10, 10 things I'm grateful for, sort of gratitude. Okay. So a gratitude, journal? Yeah, the problem is the ten things were all the fucking same all the time, you know what I mean? Like, I got bored of my gratitudes. I'm like my kids, my wife, you know, all the stuff. All the great things. All the great things. But, uh, no, I'd say I'm good. I'm happy to be talking to you. I'm happy

to have a producing deal at Fox. I'm happy to have my children healthy and my my wife. I need money. You know what I mean? Like we're what's fucking crazy time right now. Amen. I mean, we're all just grinding and hustling over here, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So apparently this podcast has quickly become about me, which is not really the way it's supposed to go. Well, but I love the podcast. It's so great. You know, whether you've got the sibling dynamic or whether it's you solo, works both ways. It's great. And now she's off doing her, her music, right? Yeah, she's doing her music. She's,

She's amazing. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. Everything is happening very quickly. You know, I think the launch is on Saturday. You know, we're going to see her do her album. I mean, it's exciting. It's exciting. It's so talented.

I was so impressed because, you know, I'm sure over the years I've heard her sing a little here and there, but not to this like soulful, incredible, you know, this kind of genre that she's into is just so it's so impressive so I've been very impressed no I know it's crazy I mean the talent is insane yeah you know I mean it really is and as an older brother

you can only be so happy and then you have to get angry that's kind of the way it works you know what I mean it's like oh great you know everything's going great for you uh congratulations I know I know all about it yeah that's my own

that's my own psychology do you have siblings by the way I do I have two sisters I'm the oldest as well. You are? Oh, good. And are you guys close? The oldest of three girls, we're very, very close.

So I'm, well, I'll be 45 on Sunday. And then my middle sister is 41 and then my youngest is 40. So we're all pretty, pretty tight there. Yeah. And you all grew up in Chicago, right? Grew up in Chicago. One's actually here with me right now for like a week or so. And then my youngest lives in Chicago.

She's the one that's got kids. And she's the one that made my. parents, grandparents, and they're very, very excited about that. So at least one of us did that. That's good. Yeah. That's a necessity. The older two, we're like, nah. And then the youngest one's like, all right, I'll be the good one and give you the grandkids. Oh, well, good. And growing up, were you guys all pretty tight? Or was there like real sibling dynamic there? Both. Very, very close. My middle sister and I, and it's funny because my younger, you know, the two, my other, my two sisters are 17 months apart, so they're very close in age. But my middle sister and I have

always been the two peas in a pod. Like we are, have been the closest since we were, since she was born. My youngest sister had a little bit of, I mean, we've all had our little rebellious stages, but she was a little bit more rebellious from the family where she wasn't as close. close with us, like, as a teenager and kind of growing up, but then we all got really close when we said she turned nice when she was in her 20s. Like, she wasn't nice until she was in her 20s. And now she's really, really, really nice. So now we all get along really great. But there was that moment of like, get your shit together. Like, be nice, please. It was decades. It was a good two full decades where we're like, you're just, you're just not, you're not very nice.

But how do you deal with that, though? You know what I mean? As siblings, you know, obviously communication is always the best, which is what everyone says. Sometimes that's difficult, you know, to just say what you feel because you don't want that other person to either fly off the rails or to make it worse. Well, there was a lot of, I mean, I don't know. Like, were you and Kate physical? Did you get into physical stuff too or no? No, no.

I mean, I just, she just annoyed the shit out of me. You know what I mean? Like we were young and, you know, she was fabulous and dancing everywhere and look at me, look at me and all this stuff. And I was kind of more chill and being like, Kate, like, Jesus, stop it. Like it just frustrated me and it's funny because I have two boys and a daughter and my daughter's the youngest. And she's fabulous too. And she loves to dance and perform and do her thing. And you can see her brother just being like, oh, real.

just chill just bring it down you know what I mean I can see that so it wasn't it wasn't physical but it was just annoyance well my sisters and I were very physical and to the point where my parents were constantly having to split us up I mean we were we would fight like wow wrestle punch kick fight I mean pinch like we had marks on our arms like just bloody pinch marks all the time to where my parents would fear that when we'd go in public, people would think that we were being abused because we would have marks and bruises all over the place. And so that even went through full on teenage years.

And then that calmed down. But there was always, I mean, still to this day, I mean, I'm sure as you know, whether it's with your siblings or with your kids, like you can say the meanest things ever to your siblings where you could never imagine saying any of that to anybody else and then an hour later you're like oh i love you you know and yeah but we still have that even in our 40s we just when we get into it sometimes we get into it and it can be cruel and evil and then 10 minutes later we're best friends again i think that's healthy you know i mean it's just not taking it too personally yeah that's what it is like there's love there at the end of the day oh my

God, so much love. I couldn't imagine my life without my sisters. They are truly everything to me. But it's when you meet an only child sometimes, you can see that the way that they've developed is a little different because they'd never had those checks and balances in place. Like they never really understood the limits that they could go to without getting kind of punch back into place.

You know, sometimes they had no limits. Maybe their parents let them get away with something. where siblings won't let you get away with stuff. Yeah, that's true. So it's interesting to see the different dynamics and relationships when you meet somebody that's an only child because they just didn't have that growing up. No, I know.

I know. And was there any part of you that wanted, ever wanted children? I thought that I would have kids because it's just what you do. You think that it's really almost not an option to not have kids. Like, you grow up, you get married, you have kids. and but I never really felt that maternal instinct and that urge. Like I never really wanted to. I was like, well, I'll do it because you have to do it.

And then as I got older, I, you know, I knew I was getting to that point where, okay, this might happen soon. And then I was always like, oh, it doesn't look really like it's for me, but still, it's what you do. And then when I met Bob, he was open to the idea at first because he already had three grown children that were in their late 20s at the time. You don't want to do it again, but he gave me the option in the beginning. And then when we got really serious and I was moving out to L.A. to live with him, he's like, we got to talk. I'm not doing, I can't do it again.

Yeah. And I was like, I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to be pushing a stroller in my 60s. Oh, my gosh, I know. I know. And so I didn't blame him at all. And I just had to make that decision. Like, do I choose this wonderful man and not have kids?

Or do I, what, leave him and then maybe hope I find someone one day, you know, and you never know what's going to happen. And where his kids were older, but did you in any way walk into a step. mother role, it's kind of different when the kids are so old. You almost appear, you know. And it's funny because like on Mother's Day, they texted me happy Mother's Day, stepm mommy Kelly. I mean, they're in their 30s now and they call me stepmommy Kelly. And that's awesome. You know, every day we say I love you. And literally I'm, because Bob like made them call me step mommy Kelly. And now it's stuck and that's what they do. So in a sense, yes, but we're also much more on like a friend level and also almost kind of like a big sister level

because we are, I mean, I'm on average like 10 years older than they are. So, you know, we're not super, super close in age. But yeah, there is also like a stepmom role where I feel very close to them in the sense of, you know, I always have them over for dinners and I'll have Thanksgiving at my house and I, I try to, I try to be a good stepmommy gal. Yeah. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judeyce. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shay.

I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom. It was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive.

My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for hundreds of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornales, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep tradition. alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream.

Listen to Burn Sageburn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Jemis Begg, host of the Psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology month? This September at The Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually change our brain chemistry, the psychology of office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion, and my favorite episode, why do we all secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own. I found a study that said not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place.

Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life, and of course, your 20s, this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get, your podcasts. you know i knew bob no i knew bob forever i was going to ask i was going to ask if you had a relationship at all with bob yeah i did i did i did because he actually dated a friend of mine back in the day her name was juliet oh yeah you know juliet yeah she and i became instagram friends yeah we were we were we were juliet was friends with my friends and we all kind of and then she started dating bob and that's where i met him and uh the most shocking thing about him was how fucking dirty he was because he has this perception or had this perception of full house and

he's goody two shoes. But all of a sudden we meet Bob and he's saying the craziest, raunchiest insane things. And it was off-putting. I'm like, whoa, what do you mean? Like America's funny. It's on video guy. Like you're like a dirty dude, you know. And it's funny. In the world of comedy he's not he's you know he's on par with a lot of the other comedians but when you juxtapose it to what you thought he was based on his family television and house america's funny stone videos then it's that disparity which is so shocking yeah oh yeah no he played off of it and he he loved you know showing people how he was not not Danny Tanner.

And it wasn't until literally his last few years that he really came full circle and really started appreciating it and embracing the Danny Tanner stuff. And he was like, all right, you know, like people like it and I like it. And it's, you know, makes people happy. I guess that's who I am too. And, you know, he had a lot of, it's like he was half Danny Tanner and then half his entourage character he was like both yeah yeah yeah yeah and how long were you guys together we were together six years but married like three and a half four years yeah yeah and so you

created this podcast which has been on for how long now uh just since like november is when we launched it so it's still pretty new was this sort of inspired sort of by grief and how to cope and using sort of food as well. I mean, is that sort of, am I in the ballpark? Yeah, no, you're, you're dead on. Yeah. You know, I never really lost anyone in my life. And going through what I went through with Bob, which was such a massive, massive thing that not

only did I lose my husband, so that was incredibly traumatic and incredibly intense and so big, but it was also done on this huge scale because, I mean, I'm sure you realize that when Bob passed away, like the amount of outpouring of love that he received was kind of unlike anything. Like, it was, it was a strange, wonderful thing that is still going on. And it's not, it's not ending. I mean, people are still just talking about Bob and all the Bob love is still so present. And so, um, because I also had to deal. with it so publicly, I was kind of looked to as this, you know, young widow who has something to say about this. And I was like, well, I don't really know what the hell I'm doing because I've

never done this before. There's no guidebook, especially not how to do it publicly. But what I can do is talk to a lot of great people who have also gone through this. And I just realized that the conversations around grief are not super comfortable and they're not very present and people don't have them very often. They're still like a little taboo. And I just thought, how can I make this more palatable? No pun intended. Why do you think it's taboo? I mean, do you think it's, do you think it's taboo because everyone grieves differently? You know, I mean, there's no one way to do it obviously. Right.

So it's a personal thing, I guess. Maybe not taboo in the sense of, you know, like off, off color, off limits, but more taboo in the sense of people are so scared to make other people uncomfortable. And like, let's say, you know, you lost somebody in your life. Somebody might be scared to bring it up to you because they don't want to make you feel bad. They don't want to make you sad. What if you're not thinking about it? And then they bring it up.

and now it ruined your day. It's like, well, somebody who's grieving, once again, is you were very right and saying everyone grieves differently. But for the most part, people do want to talk about it. They do. And people do want to talk about their loved ones. Like, I love talking about Bob. I talk about him all the time.

So if ever somebody brings him up, I'm like, great. I'd love to talk about him. But did you have to get to that point, though, you know? For me, no. No. Okay. Yeah. No.

For me, I also didn't have a choice because of the public nature of it, I mean, yes, I could have retreated and I could have said, like, no, no interviews, not talking about this, but that just, to me, that was not honoring him properly because I know how Bob was and he was so open about grief and loss and he always talked about, you know, he lost both of his sisters. He lost his parents. He lost so many people. And he was the guy who helped people through it. And I just knew that I couldn't retreat from it. because it would be doing a disservice to his legacy because it was the guy that helped people with this. And so I'm like, all right, I'm no expert. I've only lost one person. It was a massive loss, but how can I use this to help other people? And then the food aspect, like, all right,

if we're going to have these potentially difficult, sad, uncomfortable conversations, how can I make it more palatable? Like, no pun intended, by having my guest's favorite comfort food. It's a fun idea. I like that. Thank you. And that's fun. Yeah.

And I mean, you know, because of a lot of my work that I've done in the past is revolved around food. So how can I integrate that and make it a part of it? So that, I'm a very specific person as far as details go, you know, because, you know, really when you learn about someone, it's not in the sort of casual conversation. It's sort of what's underneath and how people deal with certain situations. You know, especially with something like this. Because I think we all have, you know, there's a fascination, a morbid fascination, obviously.

Yeah. Death is morbidity. But like how you would react to these things and, you know, your parents get older and there's people around you who you are immensely in love with. And, you know, you see these things at St. Jude and these kids with cancer and you can't help but project or catastrophize about sort of how would I do this how would I handle this I don't know if I could like am I going to be able would I be able to survive something like this so when that happened you know so suddenly for you like how how do you react how do you deal how do you

how do you take that in to process that or is it just totally surreal in the beginning it's like When you get the fucking phone call, I'm just like, you know, I mean, how does that, how does that go down? That was surreal because as you brought up a good point about catastrophizing, that's something, unfortunately, that I've done my whole life is I always think something horrible is going to happen. And ever since I was a kid, I would always think, you know, I think it started. I saw, I was a little girl and I saw on the news, like a little girl lost. her whole family in a car accident one time. And so ever since then, I'm always like, my whole family is going to get killed in a car accident. And I would think these horrible things all the time. And then

you almost play it out in your head like, well, what would my life be like? What would I do if that actually happened to me? But, you know, chances are it's not going to happen. And then I remember with Bob, he would always tell me, he's like, you worry too much. You worry too much. You're going to give yourself a disease. Like, you have to stop worrying. And, you know, whenever, I couldn't get a hold of him, I would be, think, you know, the worst bad thoughts. Yeah. I mean, I have that. My wife has that too, big time. I have it a little bit. She has a big time. Yeah. Yeah. And he would just beg me to stop because, you know, he's like, this is so bad for you. And the irony is that the day he passed, like that horrible, horrific day was the first time that,

you know, when I couldn't get a hold of them in the beginning, it was the first time I told myself, nope, Kelly, everything's going to be fine. This is fine. I'm sure there's, like, there's always an explanation. There's always a reason why the phone is off or, well, his phone wasn't off, but like why they're not answering or whatever. And I truly did calm myself down. I was like, Kelly, come on. What are the odds? Something bad happened. He's, fine. Don't freak yourself out. And then it got to the point where I clearly was, you know, it was legitimate to be freaked out because it just kept progressing and getting worse and worse where like we knew something bad happened. Like hours in the day, meaning hours and hours,

like what the fuck's going on? Right. I mean, it was the whole thing was like a two, three hour process where I knew he was supposed to be at the airport and I could track his phone and his phone was at the hotel and he wasn't answering. And then we were calling the hotel room and that and he wasn't answering there. And then I was like, maybe he was just really sleeping hard because he was exhausted from his tour. And I was like, it's possible he just didn't set an alarm and overslept. And, you know, so I was rationalizing trying to think not the worst case scenario. And then it got to the point where it was getting too ridiculous. I was like, Bob's the most reliable person ever. He's never missed a flight. He's never been late. Like, this doesn't make sense. And then, you know, the hotel's like,

we're going to do a wellness check. The door's locked. We have to break the door down. You know, like that type of stuff. Fuck. Yeah. It was so where I was like, okay, this isn't my life. I was like, this can't end that way.

This has to end like everything's going to be okay. Like I can't. Like it was too surreal as you mentioned. And then, you know, it was as I said, like a two hour process where like they weren't telling me anything. And they're like, you know, paramedics are here. And then I was like, okay, maybe, maybe he had a heart attack, but he's going to be fine. So they didn't tell you anything. You're just, you're just hearing, oh, there's paramedics

here. Right. I had a friend at my house who was helping me, like, communicate, because, you know, I was frantic. And I'm, and I'm also the link in the chain to Bob's ex-wife and his daughters. So I'm, you know, getting a little info from the hotel. And then I'm calling them and telling them what I heard and calling my family and we're all like in contact at this point we were like all right something obviously is going on um but then finally it was like two hours plus later when they had to get a security guard on the phone it wasn't even like what not a real person but I mean it wasn't a detective or an invest I mean it was a right like a hotel security guard that told me that are you shooting unfortunately he passed away and I remember I just like completely

lost it. Like, I was not even human, and I was like, this is not real. This is not real. And, but somehow, even through that, I was somehow able to, like, after I laid on the floor for a while and, like, you know, was like an animal, then I remember having, I was like, I have to, I have to do this. I have to, I've got to talk to people. People are going to be coming to the house. Like, I have to somehow be functioning enough to deal with this. I can't fall apart. And

then it's weird when 15 minutes later it's on TMZ and then it's, you know, never. Well, then all the rumors start sorreling. And then I was like, okay, this is weird. This is not like how at that point it hit me. I was like, okay, this isn't what people normally have to deal with.

Right. Right. Right. I mean, that's that's, yeah. And then again, you know, I remember all the rumors and shit and, you know, all that and sort of you get to deal with that. Well, that was very upsetting for our family because, and it was not fair to him to have, you know. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judeyce. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.

This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one, the other from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss.

Listen to casual chaos on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a, television writer because it does feel oddly like very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric that this is something we've been doing for a

hundred years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story along with other native stories such as the creation of the first native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sageburn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, it's Jemisbeg, host of the psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology? month. This September at the Psychology of your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually

change our brain chemistry, the psychology of office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion, and my favorite episode, why do we all secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so quick to believe others'

judgments of us and not our own. I found a study that set. Not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place. Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life. And of course, your 20s, this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Isn't it amazing the machine that just kicks into gear where something is just formulated and created out of fucking thin air?

It's like, where are you even getting this shit from? It's just purely, it's just created, you know? Well, I mean, I very specifically remember, you know, because when it was released what had happened to him that he fell and it was this very intense fall that, you know, created a very dramatic. injury. But I remember it was, I mean, hey, I'll throw this out there. I've never said this publicly before. But I remember it was Sanjay Gupta on CNN. He came on. He was like, this doesn't seem like just consistent with the fall in a hotel room. This looks like this happened or this happened or this happened. And he named like several things that were like super dramatic that were obviously proven to not be accurate. And that's what started. I remember very

specifically, him just speculating, just trying to be on the news and speculate is what started all of these rumors. So to this day, I'm... Yeah. I'm less than thrilled. Not a Sanjay fan, I guess. With that. So yeah. Yeah. No, I know. I know. It's hard because they try to fill airspace, speculation, this and that. But they do have some sort of responsibility, you know what I mean, at the same time. And then when it causes pain for the family, because now we have to, you know, do everything to protect Bob's privacy and dignity and respect. Like, that's, you know, it's just very irresponsible how some people handle it. Do you think humans, and I'm asking you, because you've experienced it, but, and I've always

wondered this, if something happens that kicks into gear that is unknown in our sort of everyday normal daily life to when a tragedy like this happens that you don't or one doesn't just completely fall apart and become dysfunctional and that's the end of it. I mean, is there something that switches where you're like, okay, I have to handle shit. Yeah. And I can grieve later. I can cry later. I can do all that. But I have to fucking get into gear and handle shit right now. Yeah. And it kind of, I know you touched on this a minute ago and I didn't totally answer, but you're totally right that that's what happens. Because if you would have asked me prior to this, like, how would you react if your husband just suddenly died? I would have been

like, I would have been inconsolable. I would have been have zero human function and I would not be okay. And something kicked in even that day, which is really strange. And I'll tell you something else that I don't think I've ever said, is that I had just gotten over COVID. Like, that was the first day that I tested negative. And I wasn't super sick, but I had this horrific sore throat that was so bad that I could, I mean, I was in tears for days because it hurt so bad. And I remember that morning, I was texting Bob over and over and over again, like, my throat is still hurting.

Like, something is wrong. This doesn't make sense. I'm in so much pain. Like, what do we do? And he wasn't answering. So that's what triggered me, you know, trying to find out why he wasn't answering. But somehow it was literally like within five minutes of finding out what had happened to him. As I said, like I could for days, I was in so much pain.

That instant, my sore throat just went away. Wow. It just went away where like all the sickness like was just gone. and it was almost like my brain was like, okay, we're giving you a little bit of extra strength now and we're going to take away this pain because the emotional pain is going to be enough. So at least you have no physical pain right now. And it was really strange. And it, like, I just kind of kicked into gear where I was like, all right, I've got shit to do.

Yeah. And I have to rise to the occasion for his girls and for him. And I don't have a choice to just retreat. And I'm sure that's different for some people. Like I couldn't even imagine people like, let's say somebody losing a child or something. That's that's a thing where if somebody is going to retreat and go into a hole, like that makes sense, you know? What about faith? Where are you?

I mean, do you have, are you religious person, you know, because I'm not. I mean, candidly, I don't believe in God necessarily as sort of an entity in the sky, you know. I think, I believe, I believe in spirituality. I believe in faith. You know what I'm saying? Because faith is, to me, a big word. It's broad. I could have faith in this Yeti.

I can have so much faith in this Yeti that it can bring me comfort during pain, you know, that I can rely on this if I just have faith in it, that this is the next level right here. So I believe in that. Right. And it does bring comfort and it does bring comfort. and it does bring some sort of a, I guess, well, who knows if it's a real answer, but it gives you some kind of an answer. Oh, it's okay. I'll see him again or I'll see her again or, you know, this is God's plan. That's my own shit. But are you, where are you out with that?

My faith was incredibly helpful. I am Christian. So that was something that was truly helpful for me. And it was not, it's interesting because usually in times of, of deep distress is when a lot of times people can lose their faith or be, you know, question it more. And to me, it never wavered in the sense of, and what you said is, you know, being religious or not. I mean, religion is a, it's a totally different story. And to me, religion is like you're pious and you're following a set of rules that's not how i like i'm not religious in that aspect for me it's more of just a relationship um so i feel like i have that relationship with god i remember god it was like not even a week after my sister the one who's

here with me now she um uh stayed like slept in my bed with me for like a month straight and I remember she said to me because she's very like I'm not great at expressing my faith in talking about all of it like if somebody is really inquisitive I can have a great discussion about it but for the most part I'm not you know like for instance my friend Candace you know like she's Candace Cameron like she's like super open about it I worked with Candace yeah she's super like she's so confident in expressing that. that to people. And I'm not as. If somebody's open to having a discussion, great. But like my sister is like a Candace. Okay. And so she was sitting in bed with me one day. And she's like, you know, I just really want to make sure that this isn't, you know, uh, you know, taking away from or hurting your, your faith in God. And I was like, and it's strange. All I said was I go, no. I said, actually not at all. I said because I said, I exist. I'm here. If I exist and I'm here, I know that there's something. And if I know that there's something, ultimately I know

that this is going to be used for good. And it was just kind of up to me in that moment to be like, all right, how can this be used for good? And I think, especially with Bob, the immense gratitude I had for that I had him for the six years. And, you know, his girls and his friends will say that those last six years were the happiest of his life. And, you know, even though he was 65, yes, we wanted him to be 95 or 105. He thought he was going to be 125. He's always like, I'm going to outlive you. I'm like, you're not going to be 120. You're just not. And he's like, yes, I am. Anyway, the fact that he still had 65 years where he truly made a difference and changed the world and made it a better place and left this incredible legacy made me so grateful

for that. And even though we wished we would have had more time with him, it's like he did so much in that 65 years. Like what more could you really ask for? Like he raised three incredible daughters. He made a difference. He found love. He, you know, had this special life. So I was just so grateful for that, that that's what I ended up focusing on versus this isn't fair. Why me? And how long did it, did it take you a minute to get there? Or was it pretty immediate? It was pretty immediate. You know, like that first week or two was pretty difficult. Actually, I just did a Instagram video about this where I had a guest on my podcast recently who talked about right when she had lost her dad and she had a couple other traumatic things happen to her that she completely went into this zone and like didn't drink, didn't, you know, where normally you think that you're going to lose somebody, you're going to like, I'm going to numb myself, I'm going to need to do all, you know, all the substances and that's kind of what happened to me like I would have thought oh I'm gonna

I'm gonna go down spiral yeah and I didn't like I I was scared of putting anything in my body because I needed to stay super clear and super alert and I knew I was like this is big I have a lot to do like I have to give his eulogy like I can't you know be messed up during that like I have wasted and crazy yeah exactly And so I think, except for, let's say, that first week or two where I was in surreal mode immediately after that, I was, especially once we found out what happened to him, because there was all this weird limbo for the first few weeks or were like, did he have a heart attack? Did he have a stroke? Like, what happened? Yeah, yeah.

And then when we found out what it was, in a sense, like a heart attack maybe would have been a little easier because it's not an accident. I know. You know, and we're like, oh, it's this freak accent, but we're like, it happened. There's nothing we can do about it. And once we at least had the finality, then it was a little easier to move on and be like, okay, now let's deal with it. And from that day on, I was just so grateful. And that grieving process, you know, obviously it's ongoing and probably forever.

I mean, life changes forever when someone you love, died. suddenly like that. Not to say you can't move on, obviously. That's a very important part of life, you know, is sort of processing and moving on. And especially with someone like Bob, who would want you to have a full, beautiful life and not have this situation if he is looking down,

put you in a hole to where you're 85 years old and, you know, have done nothing, you know. I don't know, I don't know. See, My joke is always, I was separating, I have to separate Earthly Bob from Heavenly Bob, you know? Earthly Bob would be like, if you ever move on, like, how dare you? How could you? You know, because he was always like, you know, very protective in that aspect.

And then, but then like his daughters, you know, when it came to the conversation, you know, a while after about like me even potentially. potentially thinking about dating. They were very supportive about it. And they're like, he would want you to be happy. And I was like, really? And they're like, yes, of course he would. And hearing it from them made me accept that. Because for a while I was only picturing of like the Bob that I knew in

firstly form would be like, not only with that. But like, right, like jealous Bob or like, hey, if I go, you're fucking alone. Yeah. Because we never talked about it. We never had that conversation of like, what would happen. So, yeah. That's funny.

Did that play on your mind, though, of like how he would feel or think about you potentially moving on, even though you're young and, you have so much life ahead of you? I mean, does that play into your? I truly, for a while, pictured him being like, how could you even think about it? And then, you know, as I said, when I had some of his best friends sit me down and be like, all right, you need to start thinking about this. I was like, really? Like, yes, that's what he would want. And I was like, are you sure? And then when his girls said it, I was like, okay, okay, he'd be okay with it. And then it's funny. And

everyone agrees with me that with my boyfriend now, we all say that like he's truly the only person that we feel like Bob would actually be okay with. They liked each other. They had this mutual respect. And, you know, we're like, all right, he wouldn't love it, but he'd be like, all right, I'm okay with this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how did that all come about? You know what I mean? First of all, were you, did you have the conversation with the girls and, you know, a lot of Bob's friends? Was this before Brecken came into your life? Or was this sort of like, it was like, look, you've done your thing. I think it's time you sort of get out there and move, move forward. Not on, but kind of move forward. Yeah. We had had had

that conversation and, you know, a couple conversations like a little over a year after Bob passed. And then it was not for a good six months after that that. I mean, Breck and I, we met before. But one of his best friends was one of Bob's best friends. And so it was like a reconnection through like mutual friends. So it felt very comfortable because he wasn't like a stranger, you know, that you just randomly meet or something like that. So there was this initial sense of, like, comfort, mutual friends. Mm-hmm. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice.

Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss.

Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like very traditional. traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing

for a kind of two years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sageburn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Hi, it's Gemma Spegg, host of the Psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology month? This September, the Psychology of the Psychology of your own. of your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually change our brain chemistry, the psychology of office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion, and my favorite episode,

why do we all secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own. I found a study that said Not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place. Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life, and of course, your 20s, this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How are you able to be like, hmm, okay, I'm feeling something.

Do I fucking act on this? Oh, my God. Like, what do I do? And I've known Breck and I haven't seen him in a long time, but I've known him. And he's such a sweet human being. So obviously his empathy or his compassion, you know, for something like this and handling it, you know, I mean, how does one go about that? And I mean, I even speak to the broader idea, too, because, you know, of, of, of,

of someone who has lost someone who then needs to find someone else and how that happens and the guilt and the acceptance and all of those things. And to be honest, this is another topic that I'm just so fascinated by because, number one, it's something I'd never thought about. I had never been through this myself and now that I've gone through it, you meet all these other people who are going through similar situations. I'm like, this is, you know, a big topic to kind of dive. into because it does affect a lot of people. And for me, it was really important, you know,

when I even would potentially think about, like, one day in the future, if I'm dating somebody, I'm like, they're going to have to understand that Bob is never going anywhere. Like, he's always, like, I mean, even if you look around my house, like, I have pictures of Bob. I have, you know, his last poster ever from the night before he passed away that he signed, you know, Bob Sagitt. I mean, it's all over. And I'm like, anyone I'm with is just going to have to understand that I'm always going to be, you know, talking about him and, you know, whether it's podcasts or interviews or whatever it is.

Like, he's always going to be a part of my life and his girls are always a part of my life. And they'd have to be confident enough and comfortable enough with that. And, you know, I've said before that I've got very lucky in that. you know, finding someone who is super confident and super just understanding and empathetic when it comes to all of that and asks questions, you know, like, what was Bob's favorite TV show? Like, what did Bob like to eat? Like, oh, did Bob like this movie? You know, and so Bob's always a part of the conversation. And it's, it's just been really nice to know that I can be myself with it and always have a place for Bob and it's never an issue with him or it's never

uncomfortable for him and I mean there have been times where I've been like hey just making sure like kind of checking in like this is cool right that we talk about Bob or then he's always like course yeah yeah yeah if it's ever a problem I'll let you know but it's not you know that's just not it's just not a thing he's just super understanding about it also and then coming and then sort of, you know, I know you've probably got a lot of positive feedback and then a lot of people who are like, how could you, right? I mean, that's just the world we live in. And then, and then when do you decide to sort of say, you know what, fuck it? Like, this is my life. Yeah. Here we go. I think because from day one, I had just this overwhelming avalanche of support from so many

people, people who I knew, people who I didn't know, I was pretty confident that ultimately everything was going to be very supportive. Now, and because I knew that I did things in a very respectful way, you know, yes, if this was, if he had passed away and then two months later, I'm dating somebody like, I would expect some backlash. But this was, you know, a year and a half, two years later, it was very respectful. I had the blessing of all of his family and friends. And I just knew that I was doing things properly. And because I knew in my heart that what I was doing was okay, ultimately I didn't really care. All I cared about was like Bob's girls. And if they were okay with it, then I was okay with it. And if anyone, if some stupid troll on

Instagram said something negative. Like, I don't care. But even with, you know, news of me actually, like dating somebody came out, like, once again, 99.999% positive. Anyone that said anything negative were those stupid internet trolls that I just don't care about. But since everyone has something to say, even, you know, those few little chirpy trolls that sneak in there into the conversation, I still felt it was important to address that because some people aren't maybe as fortunate as I where they get negative feedback even from their family or from their friends. Like maybe they start dating somebody six months after and they're going to have people say negative things. And the whole point is nobody can judge.

It is not anyone's place to judge someone who lost their partner because, no matter what, like no one knows exactly what that relationship was, and you could have loved that person more than anything in your entire life. And then when they're gone, like, you don't know what is down the road for you. So, you know, people don't judge a man sometimes when six months later he's remarried already, you know, but for a woman, it's a little different. You know, there's, you know, people say, like, they expect, you know, like, I'm Sicilian, you know, I had Like my Sicilian grandma, when my, when my grandpa died, like, she wore black for like years. You know what I mean?

And so it's like my hometown in Sicily looks, it's literally right next to Coteleone. So it's like, you picture the godfather. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I had this image in my mind. I'm like, am I supposed to be that old Italian lady wearing black like forever, you know? And that's sometimes the image people have. And I'm like, that's, I just wanted to address that.

whether you find somebody two months after or 20 years after, everyone's on their own time schedule and nobody can really judge because unless you've been through it, you don't understand. Couldn't agree with you more. I think that, you know, the judgment on something like this, it's an impossibility because how are you supposed to step into someone's shoes? I mean, you know, so even Howard Stern's like, I'm obsessed. Like he's, I fucking love him, right?

but he did a whole lot. Did you hear he made me a sound bite? Of course. This is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. Like I, oh, I've heard, I, I listen every episode. Like, I heard the thing and, and he made you the thing where it's like, it was like, it was like, maybe. But you should feel honored, honestly. Like, I know it might have been crazy, but he, he's just, what's great about him is he's just going through his own insecurity, sort of about Beth and like, if this was Beth and he was in heaven and heard that. like what the fuck but you know how did you take that the joke about that see i i know bob loved howard breckin loves Howard yeah and and so i've never you know i hear i would see clips here

and there online and throughout life but i was never an avid listener and then somebody told me about this i was like what they're like oh he talked about you for like 10 minutes today oh yeah like four different times and now it's like they use my maybe as a sound like oh my god and it was so embarrassed and you know i listened to it and i heard you know yes you're right it was because of his own insecurities like if i die beth better never move on she better just live in an attic forever yeah but the joke was you know i did this interview i forget whether it was like e or extra or something the first time um you know we ever did like went out in public together and somebody's like oh is this a debut here and I was like maybe like that's what it came from

and I'm like of course the one time my voice is the most annoying it's ever been is when Howard Stern clips it and then puts it on replay forever and so it's like the most annoying I've ever sounded is now immortalized and Breckin thinks it's hilarious because like as you said He's like, oh, it's kind of an honor. I'm like, oh, it's so embarrassing. Why do I have to sound? Did Frank say that? He said, because Brecken loves Howard, right?

Yeah. So he thinks it's hilarious. I'm kind of mortified. I think it's funny. Of course you are because now I get to know you, you know, obviously there's a perception that comes of you and all of a sudden it's the sound bite of you being like, maybe. It's like, this is not indicative of who you are in any way. Right.

I'm not this little like mousy like, maybe. That's how it sounded. And I'm like, oh. When it came out of your mouth in the beginning, because my voice sounds so annoying. And I'm like, I swear that's not how I always sound. When you did it in the moment, we were like, oh, Jesus. Wait, did I, was that, did I just go too high pitch there?

Did my octave go too high? You know what? I think in the moment, I was so caught off guard because I wasn't anticipating questions about that. And so I was just being like kind of just silly like me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when I heard it back, even way before it went on Howard, when I saw a clipback, I was like, oh. Yeah, right, right, right, right.

Like, why did you sound like that? Never knowing. You should feel honored. Listen to Breckin. That's an honor. That's an honor that you are a sound drop you on Howard Stern Show. It is. I will take your word for it. You trust me and your man. Like, this is really fascinating to me. And I love the way that you've handled everything. And I think, you know, the net. net of it is it's just important not to pass judgment on anyone who's been through something like this in how they continue their lives and what they do because you don't know what it's like until you're fucking in it you know what I mean you just don't and I'm glad that 99.9%

is all positive because it should be you know I do want to talk about real quick before we get out of here is the special forces show what was that like You know, Bode Miller is a good friend of mine, so I talked to him a little bit about it. But was it just gnarly? It was gnarly. Bodie was also kind of, Bodie and Jack Osborne were like my saviors there. Because they had been through, I mean, Bodie is like, I've been in helicopters 72,000 times. And, you know, I've been in these extreme situations.

And Jack had done so much of this stuff, too. So when things were getting really dicey and very scary, I would lean up. on them. And they were just so comforting. But yeah, it was insane. It's simultaneously the best and the worst thing I've ever done in my life. The worst because it was, it was insane. It was just insane. And it was and it was no joke. Like it was real. Like there was no, oh my God, you are sleeping on the military cot with no pillows or blankets. And, It's, you eat when they tell you to eat. And if you don't, it's not like there's a vending machine and there's no craft services.

Like, you go hungry if you don't eat at the designated meal times, like in the mess hall. And it was, what scared me more was the sleeping situation and that type of thing versus being thrown off of cliffs. Yeah. Like that I was fine with. I loved the challenges. That was fun for me. Okay. To me, it was more of the endurance stuff and the sleeping stuff. That to me was the challenge. But it was the greatest thing I've ever done. Jack and I would joke that if like a van just pulled up to us right now, like an unmarked white van was like, get in, we're going back. I'd be like, okay. Do you regret tapping out? Because what did you tap out on again? I watched the whole thing. most, like, we had to carry that Navy SEAL Zodiac boat, like over, oh, yeah, that's right.

You were like, oh, you were hurt. In mind, you know, I was at the time, you know, well, it was less than a year ago. So I was 44 in very good shape for being 44, but still not Tyler Cameron shape or Tom Sandoval shape, who's in insane shape. And then the other person was the Olympic gold medal speed skater, who's, I know, eyes were like tree trunks and she was just solid muscle and she's 30 okay so I'm like obviously I was the weakest link no matter how good of shape I was in I was still a 44 year old woman who was like not Tyler Cameron okay so it was the most physically abusive thing I've ever experienced in my life

and I was on two hours of sleep a day this was day four I wasn't sleeping I was delirious And then they're like, hi, carry this 500 pounds in an awkward way. Like you couldn't, no matter how you tried, you couldn't really carry it well. Yeah. And then they're screaming in your ear. And then one guy's yelling, saying like, Bob's looking down on you. He says you can do it. Like, Bob's proud of you.

And I was like, oh, fuck. Like, come on. Like, I can't handle that. Meanwhile, Bob's up there, like, just tap out. Jesus, go to fuck home. What are you doing? Why are you here? torturing yourself, go to your hotel and have a martini and put on a boat. This is insane.

Exactly. I would be like, why are you doing this? Like the whole time, I'm like, he would have been, I think, thought I was crazy for doing in the first place. It would have been like, I think this is stupid, but if you want to do it, go ahead. Right. But yeah, it was. But then eventually you were hurt. You were like, I can't. My leg. My legs were, my knees felt like, like, it was like bone on bone. And I was like, I don't want to do permanent damage to myself. Right. So, yes, I was weakened tremendously, and had I maybe had been on a little bit more sleep and not as been as delirious, I, knowing what I know now, I probably should have and could have pushed myself a little bit more because there were challenges like the next day that I really wanted to do. Right. Like, I wanted to do the helicopter being submerged in the water. Like, I wanted to do all that. I wanted to do the fighting. Yeah.

How cold was that water, by the way? Like freezing. Well, the lake that we went into was a frozen pond. Like, they had a chainsaw hole in the line so it was frozen. So, I mean, what, at 33 degrees? Oh, my God. What about the SAS and the guys like, when cameras cut, were they like, cool? No, they did not break character at all.

Because it's not really even a character. Like, that's just the lives that they lived. So they did not break character at all. We got zero comfort from them. Um, we got reality from them. Like, there were times where, you know, they were kind, but not friendly. Mm-hmm. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice. Welcome to casual chaos where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump rule star Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional. text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me.

I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for the kinds of years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence.

That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first native comic. or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sageburn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, it's Jemis Begg, host of the Psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology month? This September at the Psychology of your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually change our brain chemistry, the psychology of office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion, and my favorite episode, why do we all secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own. I found a study that said, not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place.

Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life. And of course, your 20s, this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart radio app. podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. The only issue I had with the whole thing, like I love watching it, the physical, you know, mental aspect and the, you know, the grind. I love that stuff. But when they, like, take you into the room with the hood on and the goggles, I'm like,

it feels performative, I know. But, like, how do you take you? take that seriously. I mean, I'm such a joky person, you know, and I can commit. I'm an actor. I can commit to it. But at the same time, they do this whole thing. And you're like, all right, like, what is this? I'm telling you when you're there, it is so real. You're feeling it. You're scared shitless. It is not, because you don't see cameras. There's no producers. There's no camera. Like, when you're on base, there's cameras on the walls. It's all hidden.

You do not see there's no cameramen, there's no producers. It is just you in the DS, the period end of story. So you're in their world. And so when they're yelling at you and they're like, number 14, like, get to the wall. And then they bring you in to interrogate you. Yeah. There's no can't, like, it's real. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's scary and they're mean. And that was actually, though, when they didn't show my interrogation, which I was a little bummed about. But that's when, when they brought me in. and you know they're like you can do this like we believe that you like you can go the distance here like you just have to believe in yourself blah blah blah and then one of the guys Rudy he brought up bob and he's like I didn't know who your husband was and and or I didn't know that you know Bob was your husband and he's like he I loved him so much and and like he almost

started like he did start crying and then I started crying and it was this very like human moment where I was like, oh, they are people, you know? And it was a, it was a really, really special experience. It was very real. And we're all friends now. Yeah. Now like the DS, like we're all Instagram friends. We've had dinners and stuff. But during filming, oh, they do not break. Yeah. Oh, fun. I know. I couldn't, I couldn't make an happen. If you have a chance. Yeah. If the opportunity comes up again, I mean, it's the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. Yeah. I mean, when are you going to get that opportunity to like do these things?

Yeah, it's, it's cool. And all the personalities and, you know, it's definitely a fun place to be. I mean, it's gnarly, but it's fun. Last thing, do you have you had dreams about Bob? Do you have, so there are signs, you know, have you had those moments where it's like, holy shit? Or is that? You know what?

Strangely. I had never really had a dream about him until last night was my first dream about him. Really? Yeah. I've had some dreams about him where I felt like I was at a dinner table or something and he was there but never like. Prominent. Right, where we didn't have a conversation or anything. And last night was the first time where, you know, once again, dreams become fuzzy after wake up.

So I don't remember the exact context, but I remember very specifically that. that he kind of came back. So it wasn't like he was always there, you know, like he was alive or it wasn't like, it was like we had known that he was gone, but he came back. And I remember I was like hugging him, like very, very tight and like trying to talk to him. I don't remember what he was saying back, but I remember he was wearing his, um, black robe, like his fuzzy black like bathrobe that he would like always wear every day.

And also like, you know, he'd have his cigar and. all the time and um and so i remember i was like hugging him tight and like trying to talk to him but then i don't totally remember what happened but it was a very distinct prominent like hugging holding tight yeah wow what happened that's great yeah so that was last night so you're you're the first person i told about it amazing thanks for being my therapist today anytime anytime and and um comfort food and is all are all of your guests do they have some sort of trauma or some sort of loss. Yeah.

So, you know, it started out. I had a lot of Bob's friends. I've had a lot of comedians, you know, whether it was Jeff Ross, John Mayer, Stamos, Dave Pouillier. I actually have Candace this week. Cool. Actually, tomorrow. And but then just a lot of other people who have gone through.

It's not always necessarily grief, but something difficult. Like, for instance, I had Jack Osborne on, you know, he had. has MS. He went through a divorce. So everyone has something to bring to the table in terms of that they can contribute that can then help other people. So they're talking about how they got through it, but then they're also, I'm asking them what was most helpful to them and least helpful to them. So this way people listening, they know if they have a friend going through it, kind of what not to do and what they should be doing in order to help them most effectively. That's a great, great point.

All right. Well, thanks for being so opening on us. I appreciate you. I appreciate you. I appreciate you. All right.

Thank you. Bye. Cool. Yeah, I wanted to get that Howard Stern thing in there for sure because, you know, obviously I'm a big fan and he uses that as like a, as Fred uses that as like a drop. I don't know, very cool. Very cool interview.

What a strong person. You know. I think what I got most out of that was everyone has their own process when it comes to loss and grief. And we're probably a little too quick to judge on how someone might move on or handle themselves because it's such a traumatic situation. Our bodies go into a mode and you don't know what mode you're going to go into until you experience it. and hopefully no one has to experience it. But to pass any kind of judgment on somebody,

yeah, it was fucking ridiculous to me. And, you know, she was awesome. That was fun. That was fun. I think I'm good at this solo stuff. You know, I think I'm pretty good at the solo. Just keep the flow going, baby. Christ.

All right, love y'all. Peace out. I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfort podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.

This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native Culture is alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other Native stories on the show, Burn Sage Burn Bridges.

Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the I-Heart, radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.