Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: Home Sweet (Funeral) Home

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

Oliver has a fascinating conversation with former Funeral Director, Codi Shewan prompting questions about life, death, and the paranormal! How did Codi decide to attend mortuary college when he was only a teen? Is someone who is surrounded by death actually afraid of dying?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. With the co-host feature, you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcast, or wherever. you get your podcast. Hi, it's Honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Grazias, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition.

I haven't audition in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending, with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And, of course, the great beave. you've come to expect.

Listen to the new season of Dacias Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie and you're not going to want to miss it.

My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Festi Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, it's Gemma's Begg, host of the Psychology of Your 20s. This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation. I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not

our own judgment of ourselves. So according to this study, not being liked actually create. creates similar pain levels as real-life physical pain. Learn more about the psychology of everyday life and, of course, your 20s. This September, listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship.

And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling reverie. No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling reverie. That's good. So I'm sitting in bed last night,

and my teenager, my oldest, wilder, You know, you know when your teenager is coming in for something. You know what I mean? I've actually been researching and reading a lot about sort of the teenage brain and how we kind of have to give our kids a little bit of grace because, you know, some shit happens. The wires get all crossed. They think they're the shit.

You know, they don't understand that you, meaning me, meaning us as parents have had 40 plus years of experience in this world and that we may know what we're talking about, but there's just no sort of getting that into their skulls. And it can get frustrating, but at the same time, you have to understand that it's just all part of the process of growing up. And then you go back to when you were a kid

and remembering sort of how you thought and how you sort of, you know, your parents probably felt that you didn't like them and you weren't connecting with them and it's just not the case. Anyway, my oldest comes in, of course, immediately starts challenging me, you know, about my knowledge of working out, you know, dad, you don't even get it, like, you don't understand what creatine does, and this is what happens, and I mean, it was the whole thing. And it's, it's fun.

You play the games, you know, you kind of give each other's shit, and there's a pecking order that happens, you know, with the boy and his dad, and, you know, it's the age-old story of, you know, He's sort of puffing his chest out, you know, trying to establish some sort of dominance when in reality, yeah, it'll never happen. I mean, I tell him that. I'm like, dude, you'll never be as cool as your dad. It's just not possible. You know what I mean? Like, we're going to Europe this summer and he wants to go to clubs because he's allowed to at 1617.

And I was like, I'm going to go to clubs with you. And he's like, all right. And I'm like, you're going to see, bud. Like, you're going to have your first experience with your dad going into like a night. club or something where, you know, he's cool. People are going to be like, oh, and then you're going to respect me more. He's like, no way, dad. Anyway, he comes into my room. We go through that. And then he's like, so, you know, is it cool if like there's this dude who, you know, is worth a lot of money and he's got like a million supercars and stuff? And my friends and I wanted

to like rent a supercar on the last day of school to like drive around. I'm like, are you out of your mind, a super car? I don't know what the hell that is, number one. It's a car that probably goes nine billion miles an hour. I'm like, what's in your head right now? Are you crazy? Yeah. I just love that he comes to me knowing who I am and expects me to even give it even a thought,

meaning like, well, let me think about this. No, the kid is apparently a young kid. He's like 16 and has supercars and rents them out. I'm like, what the fuck? Anyway, that just popped into my mind. So, interesting guest today, Cody Schoen, he has a book coming out. He began his career in Canada in the death care sector. So, I think you spent 20 years or so as a funeral director and an embalmer.

I always like to have on these guests that are different, you know, to talk about things that interest me, that scare me, of course, death. So this will be interesting. He's got a book called Everyday Legacy, Lessons for Living with Purpose right now. And let's have him on. I'm going to get into it. Maybe he'll curb my fears, or maybe he'll. will exacerbate my fears of death this remains to be seen um so let's bring him in open up the door open up the casket open up the casket open up the casket and let cody in yo hey how's it going

oliver what's up brother how are you good how are you doing what's happening man you know live in the life what about you are you because here's the thing everyone says that you know it's like living the life, everything's good. We all bullshit each other, really. You know what I mean? Because we just have to deal with the pleasantries and sort of that, you know, that standard conversation of how are you? I'm good. I'm good. You know, do you think it would behoove us to be honest with each other? You know, and be like, I'm like, not great right now. Yeah, Liz, I totally get you. I understand that shunning one another. But I think I may maybe look through a slightly different lens because of, because of my work experience. But, you know, is everyday great? No, obviously not. We all experience

this crazy word in. But, you know, I also choose in not a polyam positivity kind of way, but I do seriously choose to, you know, look at life and be grateful for it every single day that I wake up and draw breath. And yeah, that really motivate me. It doesn't mean every day is great. Like I said, it doesn't mean I'm in the best mood every day. But it certainly helps provide sort of that central place, that repository for me to spend time that helps me maybe look at things a little different. Yeah, no, it's, it's really true. I mean, especially when you first wake up in the morning, because that's when the day is sort of fresh. Now, of course, you have tasks ahead of you and some stressors and, you know, whatever life is going to bring you. But in those first few

quiet moments of waking up, there is a way, and I try to do it, to where it's like, it's going to be a good day, no matter what, because I'm here. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's so many people that that isn't the case for, either anticipated or maybe even, you know, oftentimes worse. It's not anticipated. So how did you get into this business? Because who, you know, who is 16, 15 is like, you know, what do you want to do when you grow up?

I just want to deal with death. I want to embalm people, you know, like how did you get into this? Yeah, well, I can certainly say that wasn't my first thought. You know, as you know, from my book, interested in just the human connection. You know, what makes people tick? What makes some people show up in our lives in ways that other people who have the same opportunity don't or can't or maybe they choose not to do? And human connection for me really interested me on top of this, just I don't even know

what it was. I mean, often funeral directors will tell you they don't, they can't answer that question, it felt like a calling. And that is larger me, although we were friends with the funeral home owner in the town that I grew up in. And maybe there was a degree of that. I mean, he did have a beautiful home and drive nice cars and live on the water and have all the toys in the world. And as, you know, as a 15 year old kid, you think, that looks all pretty good.

No, yeah. I mean, I mean, you know, look, death is a great business. Everyone does it. You know, I mean, it's like, you know, but at some point. Yeah. How does money even play into that? Exactly. I mean, listen, everything can be a good business.

But it does that you do that business well. And, you know, a lot of times, I think funeral directors in a lot of our communities, you know, especially in North America, are really sort of unsung heroes. You know, we think about first responders all the time who play as such an important release officer, firefighters, paramedics. But funeral directors are kind of like the last responder. And they're people who sort of run into the birding building, just like the firefighters, when everyone else just wants to repent and run away. And so I often think they just don't get the credit for all the competitors. they bring to the business. And that is where it's for me as a young kid, you know, I started to volunteer at the film through my high school co-op. And I realized very quickly that, you know, that

might be a side benefit, you know, all the nice things that this person has in their life. But this person is really showing all the right reasons every single day and how they're able to make a connection with people at such a loss, at such a, you know, a tragic time in their lives and really make a difference. Like really difference was fascinating to me. And that is ultimately what, what kept me there. The embalming was just a whole other, that's just part of the, part of the profession. It's part of the job. Right, right, right. No, it's interesting because yeah, I mean, it's well put. We kind of don't look at how important what you and others do, you know, how important it really is because you were dealing with obvious tragedy and now having to

sort of take a really sensitive topic, you know, and deal with this sort of humanity around that, but still be a businessman, you know, I mean, there's still a price list. So how do you handle that? And I'm sure there's different people who do a different way, some little more cutthroat than others. But, you know, how do you sort of marry those two things? Yeah, I mean, I'm a little bit removed from it now. So it was my career. I still work in the space. Okay. A lot of, a lot of my consulting clients, and I speak at a ton of conferences, not just in Funen Cemetery, but also outside of about leadership and legacy. And I always say that, you know, the most successful organizations that I've ever met, and many that I know in the, in the funeral and cemetery space,

they really prioritize the three P's in a very specific order being process profit. And when you, you know, when you have the right people doing the right things for all the right reasons, and then you figure out how they're going to do those things. How are we going to show up for our communities. How are we going to be there for the families that come? I really think when you do those two really well, the last part just follow just happens. The profit piece becomes something you don't even have to think about. But we can all think of nations, companies in all different kinds of areas of work, different sectors that put profits first and then figure out how they're going to make that money and then think about the people last. And to me is what often stained professions in the sense

that those are often the ones that rise to the top in terms of the news stories, the, you know, the salacious things that happen that are sort of unscary and the truth is that do they exist yeah of course they exist yeah well like it's like you said in any business in any business you're going to have that you know what i mean like they do but but but i'm to oliver honestly i really have i really have awesome many funeral directors who are have knocked out their heart in the right place they they really are there for all of the right reasons and and i think that's why they go a bit unsung in terms of the credit they deserve I mean, it's also one of the last businesses, much like first responders, that's 24-7 out, 24-7-365.

You know, it's, it's ever of the day, every day of the year. These are people who often are giving up time with their own families to be with the families they're serving. Wow. They, you know, they often prioritize others' needs often their own. And I, you know, I, so I advocate, I can advocate for, for the profession, you know, as long as the day is light, because I just, I think it's such a special career that, I'm really lucky to have to have failed. Motivation might have been a little odd. I'm as a 15-year-old boy, so I think it's fair to know why maybe.

But what really kept me in that space and keeps me still space is really all the, all the people, the people who are there just serving so passionately. So how long were you in the game? Like, when did you start this? Yeah, I started in my co-op when I was 16. Okay. I just turned 44. Just celebrated a birthday last week. Congrats.

Thank you. And, yeah, so every year since. 16, I've been involved. I went to mortuary college and got licensed. I still maintain my license to this day. I have a lot of friends in the business, a lot of professional colleagues, speak a lot and consult. So I'm still very connected to the business, but on the front front line of the business, up until about 12, 13, I was still in the front line. And now I just get to support those who are. Yeah, that's great. I see that equally as much as I get. And then so when you're 16 years old, because I have a 16 year old right now.

I was literally just talking about him in my little preamble, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, I can't imagine if he would say, Dad, you know, this is what I want to do, you know, where does that come from? I know, we just, we touched upon it a little bit, but, you know, as a 16-year-old whose, you know, hormones are raging, you know, you want to find relationships, you want to party, you want to do what you want to do as a sort of a standard 16-year-old, where were you? Was it, did it come from a place of just pure compassion?

Like, are you that amazing of a human? No, no, not at all. Okay. Not at all. Really, truthfully, it came from a place of curiosity. I would say that was the first, the compassion in the profession, even in myself. I mean, I was a kid. But that's what kept me there.

And I think that's the beauty of it is curiosity led here. And, you know, oftentimes, listen, death. has a stigma in general, in the world. And even more so in North American culture, where we're pretty death-averse. So it reminds me if a kid goes to their parent and says, hey, I want to be a funeral director, that they don't think that's slightly peculiar. Again, that's probably ego and judgment jumping to the front of the line to say, no, you don't want to do that. When the truth is, like, it is a career of service. And it can be incredibly powerful, not just for the people you get to serve, that you're to serve, basically for yourself. And if that helps you to be a better person to live more life in your years, then, I mean, hey, that's just a side benefit. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place

will stay in and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable somewhere with charm character and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro, tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you

pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates. I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets.

I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away. just because you're avoiding it, and in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's Honey German, and my podcast, Grasasas Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment, with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities.

You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk, right? Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success.

I feel like this is my destiny. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vibras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash? because you have to do the code switching.

I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. Yeah. But the whole pretending and code, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness,

the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life. impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths,

and the way in which Family Secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast Season 4 is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, no, no, no, no. at this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The Deva of the People. The Deep of the People.

I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets.

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Thura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. So what does that do? You know, I mean, I want to get into sort of your feelings about death, which I'm sure you've talked about a lot. and sort of how what you have done throughout your life has informed those feelings and where you land on it. But going back into that question when you're 16 years old and your brain honestly hasn't even fully developed yet. I mean, it must have just changed the trajectory of your thought process about what it is to die. And how do that evolve, you know, from when you're 16 until now? and are you afraid of death?

Terrified. You are. I am. Yeah, I am. You would think it would be the other way around for some strange reason. Yeah. And I think what, if I can articulate a little bit differently, it's scared of death, maybe not death. But because I worked in that space, I often get this question, oh, my gosh, you know,

you worked in the funeral world or you work in the funeral world. You know, you must have learned a lot. And I say, like the opposite, I learned so much about life. And so I don't know that I'm scared of death as much as I am scared of not living. If that makes sense, you know, I have, I'm blessed. I've got amazing, amazing people in my life. And, you know, part of the joy in life, as much as it comes with times, are the people that are around us.

And I don't want to miss out on anything. Maybe I just have, I see, maybe I have a serious case of FOMO in things. But I just feel like, you know, you also hit a certain stride, you know, around our age that you think I kind of am starting to figure out what life means to me, not the meaning of life that I'm not sure anyone can ever answer, but what it means to me. Oftentimes, at least in the least that I have had and that friends have had, our worlds, it's more important for them to get smaller, not bigger.

And so as a consequence, those worlds often also, you know, becomes really, really important to us. It becomes something that we can't not but be thankful for. and what to have more of. So I don't know if it's dying that I'm just like how I go and when because I don't want it to be any time soon. I just don't. No, I know.

I'm not dissimilar, you know. I mean, I used to freak myself out when I was younger. I'm 47, but when I'm so younger, I mean, probably in my early teens, I think. And I can still get to this place of freaking myself out where you go, okay, when you die, is it just black and where the fuck are you and oh my gosh you know i mean and if you can dip into that feeling enough and smearinate in it it can be scary but at the same time it doesn't make sense because that means you have consciousness if you can't you can't know you're in darkness you know without having some sort of consciousness um the idea of letting go and truly being

unafraid of death to me is how you can fully truly freely live you know if you do not have that fear then i'm not saying you're have to be a risk taker i'm just saying it's you're just freed up and i feel like it would be a beautiful feeling well so i actually not want to be afraid of it i i want to now do i be paralyzed by it no you know there's a difference between observation and obsession i you know there's a very fine line you can observe something and notice it and pay attention to it and use it or you can obsess about that thing by just like an inch beyond that line. And listen, that's also a dance that I do. And most of us don't do it perfectly. Sometimes we trip into fear and trepidation and our ego, you know,

is not kind to us and tells us we're going to die every single minute of every single day. And it's paralyzing. And that's also good. So when you're there thinking about being free of it, of course, that makes sense. You know, you think, God, if anywhere but here. But the truth is, when you walk that fine line of observation, you can actually use it really powerfully in your life. know we weird fear about death and yet it's in our common vernacular when we think about it things you know things like we talk about bucket lists if I said for the top three things on your bucket list and I said it to you or said Kate or anybody else you probably have an answer but what we're really saying is like hey before I die I want this to happen exactly but we never

say like you know what I was really thinking of last man was you know before I die I really want to because people like holy shit why are you thinking about dying like what's going on but tell me more just the way with it you know but when we think about the stoic times the stoics in ancient times they used to say momento mori and loosely translated

that means remember you will die and they about it things like skulls were things that happened around them and were around them often both those thoughts and these sort of things to remind them hey you aren't dead you are still a while you're here put life in your

years and a modern day version of That is, Yolo, like, you only live once. Yeah. People throw that around, no big deal. And so it's this, it's this oddity of having a comfort with something in one lane. And the very same thing mirrored in another lane just looking slightly different. And we have this, you know, we're marden fear. And it repels us.

You think that that is, again, that observation versus session, whereas if you use it really powerfully, heck, I don't ever want to be afraid of dying. Because if it keeps me centered around being focused with the people I love, doing the things, the things that I enjoy and making memories. Well, that to me is my meaning of life. But if I let it control me and cripple me, yeah, like you probably want to abandon that space really, really fast, just be like, I'm out of here. This is fun, but I'd rather just not feel this way. So it's a dance. It's a dance. Yeah, no, I know what you mean when you say you're, you're afraid of death because you just don't want to miss out, you know, you're not actually

afraid of the act of dying necessarily. It's like, oh, fuck, I have too much to do. Way too much. That I can completely relate to. You know, I have three kids. They're 16, 14, and 11. My life is good. Things are exciting. I'm still middle-aged. I feel like I'm scratching the surface. There's so much more to accomplish creatively and spiritually and just pure fun, you know. And that part is the scary part like ah and especially my children like that is big for me you know yeah um and i think that probably stops me though from doing things some things that i would want to do when it maybe it shouldn't you know um yeah i i totally yeah do you have kids totally i don't have kids no i've got some incredible nieces nieces and nephew yeah but but even that you know i'm i'm probably

of all of our siblings were what did kate refer to that once a patchwork family we're a patchwork family yeah same thing and uh but i but i am the fur removed from the small town that we grew up in and i oftentimes think like am i missing out by being further away you know you get back for the you know the the the holidays which is you know only a couple only a couple of grand scheme of things yeah and you know you think god these kids are growing up like they're tall and they're mature and they're personalities and they're they're doing things and i and what is the gap in between between like things i've missed out on and so yeah i got desire for curiosity around that um did you ever want kids i never had that paternal yeah need to pass DNA for myself i've just never felt that um

and so it hasn't happened for me and it won't happen for me yeah and that's okay that's just a decision i i don't judge people for not wanting to have to have children or not too uh i i i i i i i i i i empathize with those who really want them and can't. I mean, that's on the other side of that. I only ask because I, you know, as I told you, I have three, right? I have this conversation every once in a while with friends and, you know, you think about your life and what, you know, you're going to leave behind what kind of mark you're going to make.

And it's different for different people. It's different for everybody, you know. For me, your true legacy, though, isn't an Academy Award. isn't the money that you make. I mean, to me, it's for me personally, it's my children because essentially I am passing part of who I am down to them. Now, they can take what they want from it, but it is my DNA and my genetics are there. And they will be there through my lineage.

And how I parent, who I am as a father, the experiences that I have with my kids. And essentially, when I'm on my deathbed, hopefully at 178 years old, And they now are pushing, pushing the narrative of the, of who I was, you know. Yeah. That is my true legacy, you know, not a movie, a TV show, an award, you know, it's, that is it for me, you know. Yeah. I mean, you and I, we've had totally different experiences in life, just like you and you and even your sister have had totally different experiences as, as yours are more common with her than maybe yours or mine or mine and hers. But the truth is when you distill it all down and you tear everything away, we're just, we're just humans.

And that's it. And so we have to think about that in a really rudimentary way. I mean, people always say to me, how do I start, you know, living my legacy? Because part of the impetus for me getting into this work and talking, you know, about legacy, writing a book about legacy, talking to, you know, at conferences and, you know, to companies about leadership and how those are tied together. it really is about redefining that whole idea, the construct of legacy, because most people, when they think about legacy, they think about it as something that comes after, something that's there sort of once you're gone, once you're dead. And, you know, so often, in fact, there was one particular story where it was like a lightning bolt moment when I was working still in the funeral

home. And it just struck me that the idea, the notion that we just had this all wrong, you know, that we, instead of thinking about legacy after we're gone, why aren't we thinking about legacy to steer us powerfully while we're still here. Hence the name of the name of my legacy. And the whole idea is figuring out what's important to us and infusing more and more of that into our lives and then by extension into the lives of the people who are, you know, closest to us. So a story about fatherhood with your, you know, your three kids. It reminds me of a story when my sister was pregnant with her first child, my first nephew. And at one point, she was getting really close. And I said, you know, Sierra, what are you looking forward to? Like, you know,

fast forward. I know you don't want to think about this. You're pregnant. But fast forward to the end of the end. Like, what do you want to be remembered for? That's amazing. I know we're just giving birth, but let's talk about death for a second. Now, most sisters would be like, what the hell? But my sister was like, yeah, okay, this is just one of those, those deep station questions, which was fitting, was fitting for say, it's not like I brought it up while we were, you know, eating dinner at, you know. Right. Or she's not late. She's not laboring and in the middle of labor like quick question sis right fast forward right and she said you know well right now all i can think about is motherhood so i guess would be you know being a good mother

and i looked at her and i smiled and i said that's bullshit that's fine as a idea as a construct but if being a mother if motherhood is the cake what are the ingredients that you're putting into that cake you know kindness empathy uh you know a caring nature thought thoughtfulness, integrity, whatever those things are, and they're going to be different for all of us. All of us have a different value system. Whatever, whatever those things that bake the cake of motherhood, that's the stuff that you give to your children. Those are the qualities and the values that they start to perhaps consider as important in their lives and create alignment with because of their, with you and that value. And as long as those values are good and impact the

world in a positive way, keep them coming. Let that be the generational thing that we hand down from generation, from generation. It's no different in a company as a leader from a leader to an employee who may become a leader and then pass that onto their team. You know, organizational legacy is just as important as our legacy. And when those two things come together, we've maybe doesn't feel quite as divided as it seems to sometimes right now. You know, and this might sound like spiritual woo-woo to some people. The listeners you've got, you know, I've been a listener. It's not going to sound like that. Someone listening in it the first time might be like, what the hell. And again, those are,

that that's not who I choose to focus on. I want to focus on me, what I'm bringing, I'm bringing to the terms of my relationships, because that is the stuff that's going to be remembered. It isn't the Academy Awards. It isn't the stuff. It isn't the bank accounts. Listen, Oliver, in all the years that I'm active on the front line of a funeral homes, I never saw a U-Haul ever once attached to a funeral hers. Not once. You're not taking the stuff with you. No one cares about that stuff. I've never overheard a eulogy. Someone stands up and says, you know, Oliver was an accomplished business person, you know, earned this much revenue in 20, you know, 23 and and won the top employer of the world award. No one gives a shit about that stuff. Right. Because truthfully,

Oliver might have accomplished all that stuff. They're an asshole the whole time along. Who cares? I don't care. I probably wanted nothing to do with you and probably most of the people around you were just kissing your ass and be around you either. And the reality is that when you distill it down, those values, those ingredients, that cake that you're making, it's just employees. just important to them now. It's really important. And when you do that, it shifts that idea. Yeah, it's a good analogy, you know, the cake, because the cake essentially is the finished

product. I would go one step further in saying that it's a cake with no recipe. 100%. Because we're all so different and relating it to sort of parenthood. Yeah, you want that cake at the end of the day to be incredible. but it's going to have a lot of, you know, there's, there might be some shit in there that you didn't think was going to be good. But, you know, at the end of the day,

it mixed well with all the other ingredients and it tastes all right. Because, you know, we're only doing, we're doing the best that we can. There is no, there is no road, real roadmap, you know. Perfection is not really a word that should even be in the dictionary, you know, because I, there is no such thing, you know. Perfection's an illusion. It's a total illusion. And we are designed through most of us are designed through our life experiences, that it is something that is attainable and that we should strive for.

And it is such a fallacy. It's such a fallacy to think, to think that you can really get there. You may get to perfection, but you have to calibrate what perfection means for you for that thing. Like perfection is going to be different for every single person, just like that cake is different. Listen, we've all eaten some dusty ass dry cakes and us. So, but to some person, somebody thought that cake was just the best cake they'd ever eaten. Maybe that person, when you look at it in context, has never eaten cake before. Yeah.

So gift, that opportunity is for them. So again, it's just all thinking about you. In the book, you know, I talk about this a lot. And I say that for people who are trying to figure this legacy thing out now, not just living life and not being aware and not being aware, just and hoping it's good at the end. Right. But you do that, you know, you can start to really get a grip on, on what you want. But inevitably, sometimes there's sometimes there's.

this idea of being selfish. Like I'm thinking about me, me and my life and what I give and I, I, I, I. And most of us are raised to be selfless. Most of us are raised that's better to give than to receive. So I kind of re coined the word to be self full. That ultimately, that when my cup is full and it has to be full, in order for me to be of service to other people, just like anyone else in this world, you have to be of service to yourself. You've got to fill your own cup first. But overflows, that's for everybody else. But I have to be full. I have to be whole. If I can't do something for myself, how am I ever expected to do it for other people? So it really think about the everyday legacy, creating an everyday legacy.

It creates alignment between those values and then values to behaviors. And once we're into behavior mode, then we're into habit mode. And so it does cat quickly. And it doesn't mean the rainbows and, you know, it doesn't mean the world as rainbows and unicorns and everything is easy and peasy. That's not likely. But it sure makes the process of going through those tests a little bit more thoughtful. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season.

It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection.

Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort.

It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomfort Podcast as part of the My Cultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness

the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you,

stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice.

Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is the divo of the people. The diva of the people.

I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbrates, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Microtura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts. podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's Honey German and my podcast, Grazacus Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition?

No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of. failure and success.

You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing Vibras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash

because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. Yeah? But the whole pretending and code, you know, It takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasasas Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What do you think about this, though?

Because I wrestle with this a little bit. I mean, and I do agree because when your cup is not full, it's hard to give. It's almost like if you don't love yourself, how are you going to love someone else? 100%. Or how are you going to love someone else? else to your fullest capacity unless you are unless you have that self-love, which I've dealt with like 100% self-love, self-worth has been sort of an issue for me, just generally within my life.

And that's what I work on through meditation or therapy or just daily shit, journaling, you know, whatever it is. Yep. But I would, let me ask you this question. You say if your cup is not full, you know, it's hard to sort of give essentially. but what about the idea of reversing that and being selfless to fill your cup you know what I mean meaning you're half full in that cup but if you can start giving you start to realize wow maybe it's not all about me you know what I mean maybe I've been selfish so now volunteering at the children's hospital all of a sudden starts to fill that cup because you're like holy shit you know I have a different kind of a purpose other than a self fulfilling purpose yeah well I think that's exactly why I tried to re-coign the word, coin the word, because as they got proximity to it, started to feel like that.

Like, what if the things I do are for others and that, great, it doesn't matter to me. As long as it fills, it fills your, brings you meaning, brings you joy, makes you happy. Likely when you are happy, when you are filled with joy, you are inspiring others to be the same, to look for those opportunities. You know, can we all life of absolute service? No, unfortunately, the world works that, you know, the economy doesn't, doesn't unfortunately work on kindness, although I think it, you know, You could use a hell of a lot more of a lot more. But the reality, you know, you can actually

start to put more into your tank by the things you do that mean something to you. So it doesn't have to be in service to others. It can be. And I agree with you. I think that's, you know, that whole idea of givers gain. I think I think it for a lot of people is what fills their cup. But it can also be just spending time with the people you love. Taking up you, you know, brings you joy. Spending time with people you care. about having conversations that matter. It doesn't matter to me what it is. If it's jumping out of planes,

I haven't that, but if it builds you up, makes you feel good, and causes you to show up better in the world as a consequence of that thing, keep on, keeping on. Like, keep on doing it.

So how did your experience 20 years as a funeral director, how did that sort of inspire this? You kind of touched upon it a little bit, that sort of aha moment you had. But how are you sort of, How are you connecting the two in your book? What's the full name of your book?

Everyday legacy. Lessons for living with more purpose right now. Okay. And the idea is right now, you know, that it was almost as if I'd hit this point in my career that, you know, these are things that were right under my nose. Like death, dying, lying, a lot of sitting with a lot of families, I wrote a chapter a book called Echoes of Regret. And I can't count Oliver, the number of times I sat around and around. arrangement table with families and heard, I wish I would have. I wish I didn't go to bed angry. I wish I'd said I love you before they left the house. I wish, I wish I should. People should

all over themselves. And the truth is that there was a little tiny voice in my head that every time I heard, thought, why didn't you say I love you? Why didn't you give them another hug? You know, could you have and chose not to and do? And then they, and it's almost as if all of this was, but I was just unconscious. I was just, you know, I was doing a job. that I loved and in it and serving people, but it seemed like below the topical nature of that, there just wasn't, I didn't,

I didn't put that depth until that lightning jolt. And then it was, you know, it became very aware. It became one of those things that once you see it, you can't unsee it. You start to see, oh my God,

there's a lot of people that we're serving and we're serving and have a tonne. Oh my gosh. There's a lot of people that are thinking about legacy, either when someone gets sick. So they're starting to think about the end of their life only when they have to. And there's also we as a society. are disliked with this idea of death, but then also realizing actually we're not. You know, we think about bucket lists and celebrate.

People check things off and put it on social media, I'll applaud them. And yet, when we talk about death head on, when I say to you, Oliver, how do you want to be remembered? That is a powerful, powerful question. In fact, I think it's the one that can articulate sort of your own purpose. You know, when you think about God, fast forward to the end, good grief. I don't really want to think about it. some people might even say it's a bit macab well think about the result of that thing so really that is that's where this happened uh and i ended up talking you know about this a lot

uh to a lot of people to a lot of friends and family and and um originally to be honest i started to write a book a business book uh this book and because i work in you know i'm a business person and a speaker and uh speak at you know speak at conferences and the the reality was reality was people write a book, write a book. And so I started to write a book. Well, I started to write a business three times. And each time it was crap. It was just, there's just nothing there. There was nothing new. It was just, you know, even, even some of the greatest books, you know, Simon Seneca, start with why. Great book. Applied a business. But when you really think about it, it actually, if you strip out all the business, it has nothing to do with business. Yeah. You can use that book just as powerfully in your

life. And I thought, what is that book? Start with why. I don't know. I don't know. It's a, it's a good read. Yeah. And I think generally speaking, it's a well-respected read. Okay. Simon is a well-respected person. I'm going to get it. Yeah, it's a good one. And I thought, you know, what if I approach this differently? What if I skip the business book and I just write a book for people? You know, and again, we talked about like people process, process, profit, asking people

to put themselves first to know that when they fill their cup, when they think about the end and how they're showing up today and let that, you know, or enable or allow them to have a conversation like that into their language, which might be totally foreign the way they speak with themselves or with others. What a, what a, what a gift, you know, I, I kind of think of my everyday legacy as, as, and impacts hard to define because it means different than things to different people. But if I can impact, you know, more people in the world to think positively about who they are, what they're doing, the people around them, the relationships that ships that have, man, that's the biggest gift I could, I could ever have.

And so that is ultimately what caused me to put voice to voice note. I said, most people say paper, but I didn't write my book. I talked to my book. Oh, did you really? Yeah, I can't. The ADHD brain doesn't work like that. So sitting in writing was, it just didn't work for me. So I spoke my book into the world.

And then, of course, yeah, and then edited it, you know, through editor and publisher. And then into the world that way. But that, that's the intersection right there. That intersection is the answer to your question. Well, it's interesting because it's almost. like it was less about the deceased and more about sort of watching the families of the deceased deal with the deceased you know oh i wish or i should have or you know and then it's like well how how are you going to define your life how are you going to sort of not have that at the end i

should have you know are you religious i'm not actually very religious no i would say more spiritual. Yeah, yeah, me too. I'm just saying living in that world of death for however long you did before you got out. I mean, you're still involved, but, you know, the day to day. You know, how you're looking at death and how religion plays into it. I'm sure you've seen all kinds of different religions and denominations of religions come through. Now, do you see a through line? Meaning, when you are witnessing all of these different kinds of funerals, different ceremonies, these different religions that are playing a part in these ceremonies, is there a narrative, a singular narrative that you can extrapolate from all of it or love or, you know, you know,

in a way, I mean, in many cases, I would say the majority, I mean, there's always these unique situations where someone passes away and they, you know, they didn't have a for, they maybe weren't so well-liked. Maybe they weren't, you know, impacting the world the way they thought they were or they didn't do anything about it, one or the other. But the consistent through line sparring religious beliefs or convictions was just love. And what I think most funeral directors try and do is to enable the family to see the impact that that person had on their life and to celebrate that in the coming days, you know, to celebrate who that person, not what they did, but it were. And that's a big distinction.

there's a big difference. It's like, you know, the hearse and the funeral coach. Those are things. That's what. Who is the guest of honor here at services? And it's the person at the front of the room in the, it's not there anymore. Your religious belief might have you believe otherwise that they are around you or they've gone to heaven. What doesn't, whatever works for you. And that, in fact, what happened that day that that I told you about that lightning moment was I was standing at the back of the chapel listening to the service. Obviously, at the professional, you're listening for the cue. When do I go in?

When is the ministered and those sort of things? But, you know, I got to know a lot of people through stories and eulogies. And the eulogies that were being told this particular gentleman, he was in his late 80s. And his name, I've forgotten anyway. He's just the 86-year-old man. And the stories that these grandchildren and children were telling about him, about him, there was moments of pure and laughter. And then moments of pause filled by sobbing, like a depth of sobbing after.

And it was this oscillation between the two for the better part of, you know, 30 minutes. All I could think Oliver was, my God, I hope he knows the difference he made. Right. Because if he didn't, a shame. What a shame if he didn't understand. To take it even further, what if he did know? What if the reason he's able to have this kind of impact now once he's gone is because he was, as he was aware, as he showed up consciously in his life. And the truth is, I'll never know that answer for him, but I can know that answer for me.

I can make that choice. I can choose how I show up in the world and how people might just remember me. And for a control freak like me, that's great. Yeah, no, it's it's so, it's true. I mean, if you have self-awareness and you are someone who people naturally gravitate towards for advice or they respect sort of the way your outlooks and then you do realize how you can sort of help other people move through certain things. It's extremely gratifying. You know, I've experienced that. Yeah, so it is.

And you're right, it could be big, could be little. It doesn't have to be. Could be simple as like your quick wit, it lightens my day. And I love spending time with you. because every time I do, I've got tears rolling down my face. Right. And I lean, my God, like Oliver's that, God, I love spending time with this, makes me laugh, fills my soul. Great. It doesn't have to be this big, impactful, meaningful thing. Like, we often think of these things as like these grand gestures and say it's not. Sometimes it's the teeniest, tiniest, tiniest, smallest things seemingly inconsequential to us that have the biggest impact on people.

And those are sometimes the things that create giant ripples in the world of goodness. So true. And that's, and if you're a part of that, I like to say capture blessings. You're lucky to be a part of moments or to have those people in your life. Exactly who you are and that you do have, you do have value because it's easy for us in today's world to forget all that we are worth. And we're not taught to think about ourselves. You know, so outwardly positively, but or to speak about ourselves that way. But like everybody has a very definitive worth in this world.

You just got to figure out not. vices, but by how you show up in the world and others respond to. It's usually an indication of the things that you're really good at that you should maybe think about giving more of to the world. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make

the trip unforgettable somewhere with charm character and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at a Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance bro? Tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Envision. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to

the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates. I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it.

to make it even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life?

Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to. to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard.

And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcumper podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here.

And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up.

Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here. Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new Super Secret Bestie, is the diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreak, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's Honey German, and my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment, with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities.

You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters. sharing their real stories of failure and success.

You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vivras you've come to expect. And, of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash

because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know what I mean? Yeah. But the whole pretending and cold, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Do you have any sort of belief or belief of where you might go after death? I mean, you're not religious, but you're more of a spiritual person. I mean, are you, is there a Eastern philosophical idea?

I mean, is there a reincarnation? Is it who the fuck knows? What do you think? I think the common answer would be who the fuck knows. I think my answer, you know, there's these moments, these shoulder taps, oftentimes, as I refer them to them as, where you think, you're really thinking about someone that has passed away. My grandmother, who I wrote about in the book was someone who's incredibly impactful in my life. she as part of who I am and that was by how she showed up in the world. That was her everyday legacy, although she put that back then. And that in and of itself maybe makes me think that,

you know, she's around. She's, she's around, hopefully not all the time. I don't need her around all the time in a moment where you can call on, you know, call back to that guidance, that reflection. Who's to say that they're not, that they're not respiring in your ear? Who knows? And we don't know and listen it's the same you know catholicism those who you know if if you are catholic and you you repent and you go to church every single day and and you you draw your last breath and the pearly gates aren't there well if it if that if doing those things caught to show up better in the world to be kind to empathy and to to be just good in humanity keep going it doesn't It doesn't really matter to me.

What matters to me is the people around I show up as a consequence of my choices, my behaviors, my decisions. That's really what matters to me. And I like to think that, yeah, grandma's not that far away. Right. So you, so essentially, you do believe that there is something. I mean, energy never dissipates, right? We know that from the science standpoint.

We are made of electricity and energy. So where do the fuck does it go? But is there a consciousness still attached to that energy? I mean, these are all questions. Of course, we have no idea. about unless you are a religious person where you have a real you know clear idea for yourself of where you're going you know which I just don't believe in but you would still say it's safe to say that you believe that we go somewhere our energy dissipates somewhere you just don't know

but it's it's circulating somehow it's there somewhere safe to say let's say I don't know you don't know. I'm certainly not eager to find out. Well, let me ask you a question. I mean, like, in your experiences, you know, at a funeral parlor, have you had mystical, supernatural situations to where you're like, hmm, wait, I mean, right, you would, but no, no, no, you know, there isn't that. Now, I am but one person. There are thousands of funeral and cemetery professionals, you know, between in North America and the world for that matter even more.

Is someone going to say they have an experience every other day? Yeah, they are. It isn't my experience. But again, I'm not one to quickly discount others. So does it happen? Maybe. Right. Just does not, not for me.

Yeah. Yeah. And then. I wish I had a good juicy story for you, but I don't. No, no, no, no. I mean, I'm just, it's just pure curiosity. I mean, you know, it's funny. I had, you mean, an interesting, a quick story.

about sort of the supernatural with my family, you know, I've, I don't know, it always, we always have some weird fucking experience with my family, but mom was doing a movie like in England and we were in the countryside and we were in this old house and we ended up leaving after two weeks because it was that haunted, you know, I mean, we'd hear footsteps going up the gravel driveway, walkway, and then a knock on the door and there was nobody that. there. I mean, there were footsteps going up and down the hallway all the time. And there was no one home except for me and like a couple other people. My sister would trip in the same spot up on the hallway. And there was nothing there. Every time she walked by it, she would trip.

Yeah, you asked about the funeral world. Now, I have had an experience personally. But you have. I have had an experience personally. I just not, not in the funeral homes or is it, is it an experience that you can square, meaning wrap your head around? Or you're like, I don't no, I have no, very not wrapped my head, which keeps the mysticism of it all, the curiosity of all. Do you want to share it? Not keen curiosity. Sure, I'll share it. Yeah, I actually haven't told this story to too many people, too many people. It was during my internship. And I, I worked in a fairly large urban, large urban centers. My dad had passed away. My dad passed away. We had a very estranged relationship, which I write about, which I write about in the book in a chapter

called Meeting Bob, and that's who he was, I met him more after he died than I did. Well, he was breathing. Wow. And which is a, that's, that's a, that's a, that's a story. That's one I'd have to hold it together for. But yeah, so this woman who I had become friends with, she ran a hospital foundation and her husband dropped dead right around the same time. He was making tea for them in the living room and called her name as she got to the, he was clutching his chest and he was going. was young. Like he was in his, I think, like late 40s, early 50s. And she was devastated at one point through our friendship. She had said, you know, a group of us medium to come to town. Would you come mostly so you can take notes for me? And I said, yeah, sure, I'll come. She said, do you believe

in that stuff? And I said, I have no idea. I have no idea if I believe it. I believe it. I've never had it. And so I went with her. And of course, we're in a room. No one there who I know except for Liz and we're she's she's she's that miss talking and all of a sudden she's talking about this this middle-aged man that has passed away suddenly and and I'm kind of excited for Liz because here is Rick coming to speak speak to her she's described to me as the common experience or hopeful experience I guess in these these sentence it turns out that the medium suggested no it was not for her it was for me and of course that caught me a little funny. And because I am a bit of a pragmatist, I said, you know, listen, you can share whatever

you like with me, but I'm going to ask you a few questions because I need to create some belief in what you're about to say. So if you can answer these questions, or he can answer these questions, great. But if not, I'm out. You can move on or ask off. I don't care. And I said, of course, I said it much more kindly. And she said, he said something about, something about a silver car and I'm thinking lady you saw me get out of my car it's a silver car like nice try but that doesn't cut it and I basically said that wouldn't be enough to convince me and she said something about he's got a small child with him that didn't make any sense my mom and dad when they were married only had me um strict to that story remind me to come back which blows

this up to like I just got goosebumps right now thinking about it because that that's a piece that's like caps that it ices the cake that we've been referencing keeping in that rough and I said I don't understand he said okay and of course goes into her dialogue or whatever she's doing to hear his voice and she her exact words Oliver were he says you he says you can this and I said okay shoot and she said a corduroy blazer mismatched pants that are too short and mismatched socks and a rush of emotions, including tears. And I'm back in that room right now because that's what we buried him in. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. It was all he had. He had this old corduroyed blazer that he'd had for quite literally decades. And there was a black pair of pants slacks that were, they weren't, it wasn't a combo, it wasn't a suit. and the socks that he had were mismatched. They were not. And in my mind, I thought, there's no way. There's how, how, there is no way.

Yeah. And so that, that's one piece of it. No big deal. The asterix is, of course, I'm later speaking to my mom who was to, to this day. And I said to her, you know, I'm telling her about the experience. And when I said, you know, the car and she, we both laughed, you know, it was parked outside, easy answer. And then I said, I said, and then she's a child. is with him and I said no said no that's not and she stopped me to tell me that they in fact before

I was born I thought I was the only child child that they miscarriage and and all of it so she was sort of overcome with emotion and so it all that to say who knows yeah if you ask me I'm more convinced that you know there's got to be more what that is I don't know but yeah how do you How do you argue with that? I mean, it becomes a little... It's an impossibility to do back research on the corduroy jacket and the mismatching sock. I mean, it's an actual impossibility. That's not possible that, you know...

100%. I'm still dumbfounded. To this day, I tell that story. And yet, it is verbatim exactly what happened. And it still, to this day, blows my mind. yeah um i was having a lot of uneasiness by the way when my dad had passed away um you know up until that point a lot of uneasiness i wasn't sleeping well i was you know i was regretful about i was really regretful about the the experience we had had as uh a man and a child he um had

fathered genetically genetically at least and uh and after that experience it all went away it all dissipated i was i was yeah it did And I was able at that point, that point I got to in my book where I wrote the chapter about meeting Bob, because it's kind of the first time in my life, I actually decided to sit with the idea that I had a construct, attractive, of who he was. But that came from a place of, there was nothing. It was like blackness. So how can you form an opinion from something that is nothing?

Which means it's judgment. That's all it is. It's just judgment against how he had showed up or in many ways hadn't shown. showed up. And I was able to totally redefine my relationship with him because of that experience. From beyond, essentially. It's insane to me that, you know, I really met my dad. Yeah. After, I met my dad and understood his value in my life when there was none left in the body. That's amazing. Yeah. I mean, I don't have a dissimilar story as far as the relationship with my dad goes. I mean, things are getting better now, you know. so we're talking and more regularly and you know but it was rough for a minute um but essentially

there is only compassion and love there you know now you just have realizations you know i mean everyone has their stories there's patterns that have existed through his life that i can't possibly understand that he might have passed down got passed down from his father to to me. I mean, there are so many different reasons. And until you sort of dig in and really try to understand them, you know, you're just going to sort of throw it away. That's the thing to work. You've got to, you've got to take the time to do that. And the problem is in these sort relationships, that's tenuous because it's painful work. It's painful conversations that sometimes you're having by yourself, you know, with the relationship is an amicable. All of a sudden,

you're stuck with you yourself and you. Now, you got can't. I've heard, I've heard the two of you talk about about this before. But in my case, there's their opportunity at this point for him to come to the table. He was, he was dead. He was gone. And so the only option I was left with was to sit with this resentment that was crippling at times for the rest of my life. And it used so much. I would actually say disproportionate amount of energy to manage the anxiety and resentment versus the ability to just spend some time in a space that just as uneasy as the space I was living in a I was in resentment, but to try and see it differently. And it came from an experience as my uncle.

So, but that side of my family is really, really small. My grandparents, my grandfather died, father died to Canada after the war. And he passed away. My grandmother, and he only had two sons. And each of those two sons only each had one son. Wow. And yeah, and so very, very small. And, you know, when he passed away, he passed away at, I was in my late 20.

he was 54 when he passed away suddenly uncle and I were emptying his apartment after and of course I'm in a space that I've never been you know there's a there was a there was a photo of me um one photo on his stereo system and it had an inch of dust on it um it wasn't it wasn't something that other than visually it was frequented very often and um if if that and uh I just felt like I was foreign to this person, this experience. And every, you know, 20, 30 minutes while we're, minutes while we're empty in his apartment, packing his thing, separating, sorting, you know, basically in the home of a stranger.

Mostly to me. I mean, my uncle, they had a, you know, they grew up together. So the slightly below, even to a large degree estranged as well. And there'd be a ring at the buzzer. And it was someone coming, a friend, to explain. their condolences. Of course, I'm filled with the whole range of emotions. I'm mad. I'm resentful. I'm pissed off. I'm, I'm sad. I'm going through it all. It's a coaster of emotions. What pierced that was these people coming and saying, I loved your dad so much. He meant so much to me. I'm

going to really miss him. And it makes me emotional because I never looked at him that way. ever I never I never looked at him one who had a lot of value in my life yet now one of the most valuable people in my life because of how I've been able to reframe him did you have to reframe him though through other people's experiences I I don't know if I had to but it was a catalyst for me to do it because these people who I had never met I think one out of them several people several people that kept them before and so I turned to them for guided. Who are his closest friends? Who should be pallbearers at his funeral? Who should be, you know, who I ask, who could I invite? You know, it's wild. When you are arm's length from someone,

it's easy to think that their world is small and insignificant, unimportant. What I realized was he had a lot of people, a lot of people that cared about him. And so when I said, who could be Paul Bears, let's just say the list was longer than the six I needed. Wow. And through that, which was definitely another aha moment, you know, it really did waken me to the fact that, you know, he was a terrible dad. Terrible. Couldn't, in my opinion, about being a father.

But it was clear to me, he was one hell of a friend. And so what if at that magic spot in life that so many kids are blessed to have with their parents where you hit that stride where it's not really a parent-child relationship anymore. You're almost at that age where you have a lot of shared experience. You've experienced. You've got some, you know, your parents have some perspective and you become friends. Well, what if he hadn't died? What if he had lived? And what if we just hadn't hit that stride yet? Now, again, that's, that's, you know, the idea that maybe we never would have. Maybe I would have sat in resentment ever. Sure. But it's enough for me to think what if. What if we had hit that? Who knows?

We might have been the best of friends. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip

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the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you,

stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice.

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I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts. podcast or wherever you get your podcast. I had this overwhelming sensation that I had to call it right then. And I just hit call. I said, you know, hey, I'm Jacob Schick. I'm the CEO of One Tribe Foundation. And I just wanted to call on and let her know there's a lot of people battling some of the very

same things you're battling. And there is help out there. The Good Stuff Podcast Season 2 takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month. So join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. I was married to a combat army veteran and he actually took his own life to suicide. One Tribe saved my life twice.

There's a lot of love that flows through this place and it's sincere. Now it's a personal mission. I don't have to go to any more funerals, you know. I got blown up on a React mission. I ended up having amputation below the knee of my right leg and a traumatic brain injury because I landed on my head. Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro?

Tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt, loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge.

It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money and Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Were you able to dissect, though, why he was such an amazing friend, but not an amazing father? I mean, going back into his history, his past, his parents, your grandparents, his psychology, did it all add up once you did the forensics on it? Yeah, I mean, I think it's hard to do math when you do.

don't, you know, you're, you say, what's the answer to this question? Plus, well, two, two plus what? 10? Two plus nine times four divided by nine. Like, what, what idea? So I don't, I never had, I never had all those. You know, um, you know, my grandfather, as a night after the war, I, I don't know what their relationship was. Um, my grandmother was an incredible human. And she often played, you know, grandma, grandma dad because of his lack of in, in my life. Um, so I don't, entirely no. What I do know is that when he, me, he just obviously wasn't prepared to be a dad. And, you know, in the moment, you might say, shame on you. You've done this thing, have accountability for it. But, you know, we all do things in our lives. We all find ourselves in shit and think, oh, my God, how did I get here?

And now I'm expected to deal with this thing. And I'm not equipped. And some people take on the task and acquire the skills and learn and figure things and other people can't. or don't or don't have from their past, like you said, you know, only those people know what those puzzle pieces are because oftentimes, you know, mental health in particular is not something that until recent years we've really been that open to talking to. And he was certainly part of a generation that you never, ever spoke about that stuff. Yeah. Right. If you did, it was a giant weakness and social ostracization with that too. And so I don't know. I don't, I don't have a recollection of him enough to know. Maybe those things.

we're at play too. Maybe he, maybe he out on the great, you know, or fine relationship, I should say, with his dad, but internally he battled with it. I don't, I don't know. I just know one thing, that our relationship as father and son was disenfranchised, chaps by the notion that while biologically, he could be a dad, and I'm kind of happy he could. Yeah. As we show up here together, of course. I'm kind of happy that part played out. But by, uh, by, And, you know, spirituality in terms of, or, you know, the spirit side of life, us showing up in it, and made for that, that part you have to be ready for and you got to work on. And that's, that, that is just called life. Yeah. And it, you know, you, you can go through life as an inactive participant, I want to live my life. But not everybody gets dealt the same, same cards. I mean, not everybody can can do that. And so I'm, I'm a I think it's, yeah, I think this, I think it's extremely relatable.

I think it's a powerful thing to be able to accomplish, you know, because essentially anyone can, I mean, there's degrees, obviously, you know, there's degrees to how bad your father or mother or someone might be where it's like, no, I'm sorry, you know, you're done. That's the end of it. You're a fucking complete asshole and that's that. But I think it's just healthy. I mean, even to reconcile personally after someone has gone, it's doable. And it probably puts you on a nice emotional trajectory through the rest of your life

instead of carrying resentment and carrying anger because that only is, it's poison, dude. Physically it's poison. I mean, it can actually kill you, you know. Totally. Totally. So if you can find a way to get through that, you know, after. death especially coming to terms and I just love the concept and I'm going to might steal it for like a movie idea but this concept of having a relationship after death with your father or somebody

you know what I mean to then take you to another place it's pretty great yeah it's totally powerful it's it the the the I guess like I'd use to describe it well freeing that's an obviously it's an obvious one it is freeing to to create even if it was a one sided one one singular name narrative way of looking at things. It worked for me. And the other word that is capacity. You know, it really gave me the capacity to put that energy towards other things. You know, just because I, just because I fit a relationship in life doesn't mean every other relationship I have in life is, is rosy. You know, there's other places, including, including the person in the mirror, right? Like, you had a certain stride in life and you think, I think,

I think time for me to have some conversations with myself that I've been avoiding for a time. And when I have those conversations, as painful as they may be, they might just enable me to show up, you know, differently than as long as that's positively, then maybe it's time to have those conversations, even if they're going to be tough. Yeah. Cool, man. Well, we're coming to a close. We're getting to the end. But, you know, as far as your old life, still of your life, but your funeral director life, was there any crazy shit happened in there? You know what I mean? Like through the years, things are like, oh, my. God, you know, the body fell off the table or just weird things that have happened or is it pretty much by the book, bang, bang, here's what it is. Embalming goes right. No one exploded. You know, everything's good. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of, there's lots of great, you know, fun, funny stories. Of course, never at the, never at the cost of a family you're serving or a no, no, no, no. But just circumstantially, substantially, I mean, there's so many, so many funny, funny stories.

and give me one to end us out so not all right well this is a story uh you know that that my family's family says to me story please tell the story and i always say oh god i'm so tired of selling the story but it's not a story that i've never told on a on a larger scale so i'll tell this i tell the i feel honored oh my gosh and it is it is quite the quite the story so i'm an intern i'm working at a funeral home busy funeral home i'm based in canada so it's where i grew up and uh it is blizzard outside. Like the snow is coming down sideways. It's not even coming down. It's coming across. And we are headed out to a burial. So we're in proximity. And it's common for Buddhist families to use a lot of incense. And so it's also common that the eldest grandson will also

accompany the deceased from the funeral home to the cemetery. That means I was driving the funeral coach as the intern, but basically means no experience. And the grandson was sitting in the passenger seat beside me with the incense and don't just a crack because the weather was terrible. To the cemetery and it is like an open farmer's field. It is that there isn't a thing to block that weather. You're just getting punched, left right, right and center with the snow and the wind and the gusts. And it's terrible.

And of course, there are like most services at some form of clergy or a celebrant. And in this case, it was these Buddhist monks who were in the service. Their temple was actually 40, almost 40 minutes away from. where we were. So we get to the cemetery. We have this service. And the funeral director, the senior funeral director, turns to me and says, hey, can you take the monks back to the temple? No problem. So I usher them over, put them in the car. There's, there's, I guess the head monk, if there's three of them, the head monk, the one who was in charge, and then two sort of supporting actors. And we're driving along. And again, weather's awful. We're driving along. And the monk

turns to me and he says it's very hot it's very hot and i said oh oh i said okay i'll turn the heat down and i had it jacked i mean i can't imagine how they weren't freezing uh i mean they were wearing their big puffy coats and yeah i had my big you know funeral director coat on but it was still i was i was friggin and uh and so i turn it down from 32 down to like i don't know 27 we're driving and it's dead silent by the way it's you know you know you don't part with the monks back to the temple it's quiet it is it's like no music all you're hearing is the the buzz of the fan uh so and the pelting of the weather on the car um and i'm driving slow i'm driving fully going along and once again comes to the comes out of the it comes out of this lima it's it's hot it's really hot

i'm like fair enough down we go knock knock the temperature down a little bit driving along doesn't he say it again it's too hot too hot too hot and my head, I think, oh, God, because now at this point is, but almost air conditioning coming out of this thing. I'm thinking, I think it's warmer outside than it is in this car right now. And so I instantly think, oh, my gosh, how did I not think of this? The seat heater is probably on. So I look over and the Indic show the seat was on and what level it was on, not on. And I thought, that's really, really weird. What? I don't understand. And just as I'm saying it, he says, hot, hot. And he's kind of like, kind of like himself and like he's as if like he's sitting on heat.

oh, maybe it's not working. And he lifts his big puffy jacket up and open. And if a one-foot flame basically erupt from this guy's crotch. Yeah, it was, and people think, what do you mean a flame from his crotch? Quite literally, what had happened was at the cemetery, one of the embers had caught his robes underneath. And the robes were just sort of just burning along real slow burn. It was just like, just like, you're there. And it didn't take long. And the minute it hit the polyester coat and he added air. Oxygen, yeah. Literally ignited. It was like a small flamethrower coming from, or coming from this wrong area. Yeah, a monk from monk's crotch. And I quite literally said out loud, what the fuck? And quickly got to the car on the highway to

the side of the road, ran around the car, unlocked his belt, and quite literally kind of sumoed him into a snowbank and started like piling snow on. Of course, I'm thinking, thinking like, what the hell? I'm not connecting the dots in the moment. I think, what the hell just happened? In my mind, I'm thinking the seat heater dysfunction. That's why the light wasn't on something mechanically. And we just nearly burnt the ass off this month.

What is happening? And so, of course, now he's standing, snow covered. The back of his robe has got a distinct like burn area of the back. And he won't get back in the car. He thinks the seat has malfunctioned as well. So he gets one of the supporting actors in the back to sit on the edge of the front of the seat while he got in the back and then said, take us back, take us back, take us to the tent. Oh, no, no, no, we're going back to the funeral funeral home. They believe the story.

I'm an intern. They'll fire me in two minutes. I need to go back and match the back of your ass to that seat. And sure enough, we did. And later that day, the manager's funeral home said, you're lucky you came back. because we would never, ever have that story. And yet that is the story that's the story that started my career as an intern. I not only buried someone, but burned thermoke.

Wow. Amazing. Dude, hysterical, unbelievable, a monk's flamethrower crotch. Oh, my gosh. Unreal. You can't make the stuff up. Cody, I appreciate you, man. Thank you so much. It was really great talking to you. I'm excited about your book. hopefully you sell a billion copies that would be lovely yes yes um everyday legacy right this is what we're talking about lessons for living with purpose right now you got it well i appreciate you thank you man thanks for your stories and thanks for your candor honestly thanks for

talking about your dad i think it's i think you you can touch a lot of people with with those with those stories and your emotion i mean as you know uh that relatability and being able to sort of reach into someone's soul a little bit, even if it's just one person, you can sort of say, oh, shit, man, like, I feel that. I went through the same thing and they just feel a little bit better. One person. And when I wrote the book, I said that. I said, you know, if this book impacts one person, my job here is done. It's done. And I realized the person it impacted was me. Of course. It really opened me to a vulnerability that I've not had before. And, yeah, the more people that we can shift this idea of leaving, leaving a legacy in it every single day, creating that

everyday legacy. Yeah. And the world for what the world is to each of us will just be replaced. Yeah. I think it's a great way to wake up every day and say, what am I, what is that small little fraction, percentage, half a percentage. How am I going to sort of even, what am I going to learn today? How am I going to be better today?

You know, what kind of legacy, living legacy am I sort of even trying to create just today, even for one small thing? Powerful, man. Yeah. Good messaging. All right, brother, thank you. Good chat with you, Oliver. All right, man.

Talk soon. See you. Good chat. Easy, breezy. Fun. Fun. You can tell he's like a public speaker, you know what I mean? It's just, it's nice.

You don't have to do so much you can listen and learn. Now, I love what he's talking about, too. That kind of this idea of a living legacy. You know, we do. We think of that. It's like, oh, what is it going to be at the end? But why not think about it? now you know how are we creating that legacy whatever it means to you um i don't know what the hell

legacy i'm leaving behind jesus christ i know i know i know people like me i know i make people laugh you know i'm a i have good insight into relationships i think and sort of you know kind of bigger questions i'm a bit philosophical um you know devastatingly handsome that's a legacy. I'm definitely going to leave behind. Someone who knows how handsome they are. I think it's important. Any whozy. I'm going to leave now.

I have things to do. But, yeah, that was good. All right, the revelers. Is that what we call them? I don't even know. All right, revelers. Revel up. Peace.

Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money? No thank you.

Instead, check out Brown Ambition. Each week, I, your host, Mandy Money, gives you real talk, real advice with a heavy dose of I feel uses. Like on Fridays when I take your questions for the BAQA. Whether you're trying to invest for your future, navigate a toxic workplace, I got you. Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or we're ever you get your podcast. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs.

The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the I-Heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Gemma Spag, host of the Psychology of Your 20s.

This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation. I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own judgment of ourselves. So according to this study, not being liked actually creates similar pain levels as real-life physical pain. I'll learn more about the psychology of everyday life,

and of course, your 20s. In September, listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia. Had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it. Five, six white people pushed me in the car. Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin. All you got to do is receive the package. Don't have to open it, just accept it.

She was very upset, crying. Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand, and I saw the flash of light. Listen to the Chinatown Stang on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.