Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: How to Help Your Kids Feel Blessed, Not Stressed

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

It’s one thing to deal with your own anxiety, but when your kids are struggling with stress, that can be next-level nerve wracking! So, Oliver is turning to two pros, therapists Ashley Graber and Maria Evans for some advice.  Hear how he’s not the only one dealing with anxiety in the Hudson household, and what he’s going to do about it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos.

Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The Moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us father and daughter for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos

on the IHeart Radio app, podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Introducing IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like in the right hands.

You're just not. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see?

It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now.

Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike. Listen to Unrestorable Season 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling revelry.

No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling reverie. That's good. Ah, Oliver Hudson. It's Oliver Hudson. Oliver Rutledge Hudson.

I just went on a. run and I'm a little sweaty and I'm taking a million supplements and I'm injecting myself with peptides and I'm getting to this place it's strange where I don't even know who I am anymore I'm transitioning from like an old Oliver to a kind of a new Oliver shedding a bit of skin so to speak like a fucking snake where all of a sudden I'm not drinking I'm not smoking cigarettes I'm not doing anything I'm eating healthy I'm taking supplements

and I feel incredible but at the same time I'm like who am I have to like adjust to this new me and I'm not sure how it's going anyway maybe I can talk to our guests about these issues even though they are I think they're

child therapists but i think they're family and child so their parents too maybe maybe they can help me out this is a pretty good segue it was unintentional but ashley graber and maria epens um let's bring them on and let's uh let's talk about my my problems shall we hi there hi oliver hey guys how are you oh good nice to meet you so in my intro because i do weird intros and you know whatever but I was talking about myself. We're going to get into kids. I've been in therapy for a thousand years. I went to the Hoffman Institute.

I'm always trying to work on my shit. It's never ending. And I think that is a comforting thing to sort of think about because we're looking for an end and there is no end. We are all going to suffer throughout our lives. But this is about mitigating it and understanding why we suffer which helps right i mean this is my own interpretation suffering may be a large word but you know it's a never-ending process because there is no end we can always sort of be better we can

always be introspective and want to understand who we are sometimes though i wish i didn't because i know people who don't give a shit you know and it's almost like their lives are better because they just don't care they just accept who they are all flaws and everything and have no desire to sort of change or shift. So there's no anxiety attached to it, you know. I'm anxiety prone, you know, since my 20s, I'm on LexaPro. You know, I'm a very sensitive sort of being, I guess. But anyway, I was just talking in my intro about how I'm starting this new sort of chapter

of my life where I am on a health kick. I was drinking too much, I was smoking cigarettes, I was just in a foggy, shitty place. I decided to do a battery of tests, taking supplements, taking peptides, not drinking, and I feel incredible, okay? But here's this psychology. It almost feels like I don't know who I am anymore, strangely. I'm so used to that other person that there is some anxiety around even feeling like my best self, because I'm transitioning into sort of someone who I'm not too familiar with.

Does this make sense in any way? It does. It absolutely makes sense. You know, when we are used to doing things a certain way, getting to know doing it a different way is uncomfortable because it's unknown. We sometimes talk about if there's a dirty pond and a clear pond and you're used to swimming in the dirty pond, but somebody says, hey, there's a clear pond next door. Why don't you go swim in it?

It makes a lot of sense. You'd want to go get in that clear pond, but most people get in that clear pond and say, wait a minute, I don't know this pond at all. I'm going to go back to the one that I know. And it's not that we're going to make changes overnight or be used to things. We kind of have to get used to this idea of we're going to take one,

it's that idea of like one step forward, a couple steps back. We're going to, we're going to, try to get used to something and maybe default back to what we already know as we're moving towards something different. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. I mean, I have friends who are like that in sort of the dating world, you know, older guys like my age or 50, who are so used to living and so comfortable in the chaos that in order to step into something healthy, they can't. You know what I mean? It's easier to live in the pain of the chaos and the unsighting. certainty in the back and the fourth even though it's soul destroying for them and they don't

understand why why can't I find love why can't I do this I'm like well because you're just comfortable in the why you're comfortable in all of that you know and when you make an effort to step outside and to find some purity or to try to work on yourself it's like out let me just go back to this so interesting yeah and as someone who's done a lot of therapy you probably know that our unconscious minds are drawn to recreating the patterns that we're used to, even if they're not good for us. So we'll find ourselves drawn again and again in the same dynamics, the same situations, not wanting to be, but just drawn there.

And part of therapy is becoming more aware so that you can make a different choice. Do you think that's a learned behavior or do you think it's a primal thing? I'm wanting from an evolutionary standpoint, I don't know, going back and getting a little deeper on it. but, you know, I totally agree with that our subconscious sort of takes us back to those things. I wonder if that was some sort of a defense mechanism, you know, for back in the day or if this is something that is sort of environmental, so to speak. That's a very good question. I guess I would wonder, when did the unconscious mind develop?

Did cavemen have an unconscious or were they just operating out of pure impulse, you know, and where did those behavioral patterns get set? we know that once you're used to even, you know, opening your milk a certain way or opening the door a certain way that you're going to do it every single time the same way, right? So we know some things are totally wired. That's a great question. Early man, caveman. I mean, did they have, I think, of course, they must have had an unconscious mind.

Why wouldn't they? Yeah. I mean, we know that animals dream. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm tapped into something. Maybe that's our next book, the three of us. Okay.

This is caveman, the unconscious mind. That's right. Let's go back to those times. How did caveman date? Yeah. I mean, honestly, it would be pretty cool. That's right, a dating book for the caveman. Well, I love that you guys are into the child world, you know, and doing what you're doing.

I have three kids, as I told you, I have experienced anxiety in my life. And my oldest, when he was in eighth grade, went through it. And it started with him sort of disassociating and telling me that he doesn't feel real, which I could completely relate to him. I was like, oh, fuck. You know, I was like, good news, bad news. Bad news is I know where this is going. Good news is that I've been through this so I can help you, you know,

and I'm not fearful, you know. And I had to keep him home for like a month. We did my wife and I, because he was just in. this space. And we didn't put him on medication. And, you know, I didn't want to do that. He was young. And he was just journaling. And I taught him some meditations. And, you know, he would sit outside and write in his journal, sort of things that I did to help myself get out of it in my 20s. And it seemed to have worked, you know. I guess the question is children, anxiety, you know, how much of an uptick are you seeing?

And what are some of the best sort of ways to speak to your child if you haven't experienced yourself to try to help the little one? It's kind of one of the most common questions we get is if we see anxiety rising in kids. And we really have seen a lot more anxiety. Kids are exposed to a lot more. They're experiencing things at earlier ages. and the world is more worrisome. I mean, it's kind of why we named the book, gave the book the title that we did,

of raising calm kids in a world of worry because there is so much. And the thing that we would start by saying is really listen. If you don't know what it is that's going on to listen to what a child is saying and believe them, Like what you said, just believe what they're saying and try not to dismiss it or fix it, which is what we often want to do when a problem is brought to us. And we feel uncomfortable with it because maybe we don't know about it.

We just don't want the person to be suffering that is bringing us something. Yeah, it's such a hard time to parent right now because there's so much coming at parents. It's a totally different time. There's technology. There's AI. There's all these different things. There's the news. There's social media.

Everything that none of us had to deal with as kids, really. And so parents are really met with this great challenge, which is how do I raise a kid that's not completely terrified of the world that I don't even know how to walk them through. So our book is all about and our philosophy is about the idea that you can raise kids who do. generally have a greater sense of safety through the way that you parent so that even when they do feel anxious, they have those tools. They know what it is. They can come to you. They've got a sense of belonging in the family. And so we've got all kinds of tips. And, you know, whatever you'd like to chat about, we can kind of go in that direction. But so many ways to parent to create that environment so that they're not shaking in their boots every day, you know. And so

you're not either. There's not one right way to do it, right? All kids are different. All parents are different. But as far as the freedoms that our kids don't have anymore because of the fears that we have as parents, how do you navigate that? So they're not afraid of everything and sheltered. Such a good question. And building a strong connection to your kids is going to be such an important piece of it. Because as you said, there are things going on that we have to deal with. And if a child feels like they can come and talk to you about it, whatever it is, then you can let them roam a little bit more free. If they feel like they can come back, I remember growing up, we had this contract that if somebody was

drinking and driving, we signed a contract with our parents. And if somebody was drinking and driving, you could call them. You'd call your parents and they would come and pick you up. And there would be no conversation that night. You wouldn't get in trouble. You would talk about it the next day and whatever the family sort of decided in that moment, but that there was this understanding that you could fall back on your parents. And that's so much of what we try to teach is that if you have this bond and your children know that you can come to you, then whatever is happening that's changing in the world is okay for them.

I mean, if you're talking about things like we get asked a lot about social media, to teach good practices, to talk to your children about the things that are going on versus kind of ignoring it or not speaking about it. Because in that way, then a child knows, okay, I know I can come to my parents. You know, or I know that they're going to be there to talk to me about something if there's something scary that comes up. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it.

it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos.

And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demortals? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution

that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to the moment with Jorge Ramon, San Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing.

Bloomberg and IHeart Podcasts present. IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled.

By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where Stan up comedy and murder take center stage. Available now.

Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a tape recorder statement. The person being interviewed is Krista Gail Pike. This is in regards to the death of a Colleen slimmer. She started going off on me and I hit her. I just hit her and hit her and hit her and hit her. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row.

The state has asked for an execution date for Krista. We let people languish in prison for decades, raising questions about who we consider fundamentally unrestorable. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. please state your first and last name Krista Pike Listen to Unrestorable Season 2 Proof of Life

On the IHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Playing devil's advocate With that I think inherently kids are mischievous That's just part of the growing up process. And I have created an open space for my kids to talk about whatever the hell they want. We're very liberal parents when it comes to that. You know what I mean? I haven't

forgotten what I was like at 16, 17 years old, and I don't want to be a hypocrite. And that's my biggest pet peeve is hypocrisy. That's why I can't stand in politics, but that's a whole other discussion. So if I'm thinking about what I was doing at 15, 16, 17, and then getting on my kids for doing similar things. It doesn't feel good to me. Now, it doesn't mean I can't teach some sort of a lesson. Anyway, the door is always open for them. But they don't always tell the truth.

They're always, they sneak. They do their shit. And my kid was very simple. And they're all great kids. But I was on him about something and why didn't you tell me this? And it's always open door. You know that you can do. And he goes, dad, what am I supposed to just tell my dad everything I do?

And I was like, wow, you know what? You're right. Of course you're not. This is a rite of passage. You try. You will get caught because I used to do it myself, so I know what's up. And now we have ring cameras in Life 360s, so you're completely fucked. What about that, though, you know, because we can't expect our kids to just be all open and honest and vulnerable all the time.

Do we give them some leeway? I mean, I do for when they might lie or they might. sneak out or they might do something mischievous? Or do we have to get on their asses? No, you've got it. You've got it right. It's really important to be understanding of that process. They need privacy. You know, as they become teenagers, they start to really develop that sense of self that's totally separate from you. And that can be hard for a lot of parents. But, you know, they become really peer-focused. But the thing to really think about in those pre-teen teen years is kids, as much as you want to be the totally cool parent that's like, I know you're going to lie. I know you're going to smoke. I know

you're going to drink. Kids need a boundary to push up against. So you don't want to be so, like you were describing, just so tight that you don't let them explore the world at all. But you also don't want to be all the way wide open because then they have absolutely nothing to push up against. So you want them to know something like, oh, my dad's totally going to kill me if I don't check in at midnight and tell them where I am. You want them to have that feeling so that they do check in or so that maybe they don't come home at 12, but they come home at 1215 versus I know you're a teenager and you're just going to waltz in any time. So whatever, right? Because then they might come in at 4 a.m. So that makes sense. You want to keep in mind that your job is still to hold

boundaries so that they get to experience going against them. Yeah. The trick is finding where does that boundary lie so that they get to explore, but also they don't just go completely haywire. That's so important. I couldn't agree more. I mean, and I wrestle with that. We wrestle with that a little bit. But we have boundaries. But again, it's about figuring out sort of, you know, it's like a dog pen for a puppy, like how small you're going to make it, you know, or how big are you going to make that. And I think that is to each their own. There is something. There's personal. It's personal. You know, for me, it's big moments. You know, like the other day, my kids have these serons. You know, they're like basically motorcycles.

I mean, it's, you know, they have helmets. My wife cannot believe that I'm letting them do this. But, you know, they ride around. They drive them to Westwood, and my kid rode to school today, you know, on his serum. And I come home and the bikes are gone and the helmets are in the garage. And I'm lenient, but that's a big fucking no-no. And they came back and I just ripped him. You know, I was like, dude, part of it is like, I,

give you so much you know what i mean like this is the these are certain things where you sort of pick your battles you know um so where they can sort of hear that and understand that but you're right the boundary thing is important but i then i again there are parents who like are too restricted i i think and that's actually in my next question because you work with parents as well right obviously so have you found a pattern i know everyone's different but is there something if you were to pull all the parents or pull your experiences with these parents is there a through line with like the new parent that you see a lot of is it is it fear is it worry i mean is there something that is a through line or is everyone completely unique and

different i would say one of the things we see so often is really not wanting to talk about the things that they should talk about, but maybe they didn't have a model for that growing up. They didn't have, like, your children will likely have a similar relationship with their children where, and perhaps you do with your parents, or you did it completely differently. But we see that often a parent will say, like, I don't want to expose. my child to such and such. And because there is so much more now, it's too early. I don't want to talk about it. And we see it a little bit differently. We want to talk about things age appropriately, but we do want to talk about things. And there's just, as Maria said earlier, there's just so much

now that parents are balancing that they didn't have to before, that that seems to be a really common thing that comes up. It's like, oh, I don't, I don't really want to, I don't want to talk about that thing. I don't want to scare my children. I don't want them to be thinking about something earlier than they should be when what we know from the work that we do and also from working with kids directly is that they just generally do know what's going on. They're hearing about it in some way or another, whether it's their older sibling, their friends, older sibling at school on the news in the house they see a phone that somebody's holding they over hear a conversation oh my god i know i think these kids soak it up their ears are to the

their ears are to the ground they they we don't think they're listening but they are listening oh my gosh it's scary sometimes you know everything oh they hear everything my wife talking in the room also my oldest was like well what were we saying I'm going to do nothing nothing like what bionic ears they have them like I heard you were talking about so and so well what was that like you sort of raise your voice a little bit I'm like wilder says wilder I'm like wilder it's this isn't that doesn't concern you I know but dad like what was it I mean he will not let it go persistent yeah the other thing is with social media they can access everything they know so much they don't need to come to you and ask you about something

they they'd and oftentimes they'd rather look it up Because then they don't have to have the awkward conversation, you know, so kids think so much sooner than anybody thinks. Oh, my God, especially now that they're on all the trends, you know, my kids. You know, it's disturbing when I give them what I think is some wisdom on a subject and like, well, AI said that. I'm like, AI said now AI is a human. I mean, I know that we're getting there, but like, can we just put the brakes on for a second?

A.I. said, I don't like that. Totally. I've been, I've been resistant to it just from a conscious but still an unconscious level. I, you know, I love the outdoors. I'm pretty analog. You know, I have a boat and I love the mountains and I fish and all that. But I, it's some reason, for some reason, I resistant, you know, even though I should probably get on board. Well, it's super threatening, right? Especially with how fast it develops. It's really scary to imagine where it's going to go.

And at the same time, as parents, there is a tremendous responsibility to learn AI. Yes. Because the kids already know it. And most parents don't even necessarily know yet just what AI is capable of even now. You know, that you can open up an email draft

and an AI letter is just written for you as a response or, you know, obviously writing essays with AI, which a lot of schools have banned and things like that. But even more than that, you know, But it's really amazing and scary at the same time. But it's kind of like, if you remember when the iPhone came out, if all the parents were like, oh, no, we're not getting iPhones. They would just be in a different world than the kids.

It's another great point. And one I should probably advice I should take, which is, you're right. We as parents and adults have to learn it because the kids know it. So we have to know it. I mean, they're so versed in it. It's crazy. Part of me is that, well, that's disturbing and scary. And then the other part is, well, at least your brain is working and you're figuring it out.

You know what I mean? I said to my kids, and this was controversial amongst my friends, but I said, I would rather you cheat, honestly, in school. Because the alternative is not giving a shit. So if you're cheating, you're caring to some extent. you're worrying about a grade you're worrying about getting your assignment in on time whereas if you just don't give a shit then you let it pass without a care in the world I know that sounds insane yeah look maybe maybe you could amend that a little bit and go if you're going to cheat here's what our family values say about what makes sense there and what

doesn't so we want you to have critical thinking skills I don't want you to cheat by by having AI write your whole essay. But if you want to use it to find all of the, you know, sources or if you want to use it to write up your reference page or things like that, that totally makes sense. Save time, fine, right? Don't tell your teacher, okay. But here's where I don't want you to cheat. And here's why it matters.

Because we do want them to develop those critical thinking skills. You know, there was, I read something where this, I think it was like a student at Stanford was having coffee with a journal. journalist. And I read this article where the student admitted to the journalist or something like that that I use AI so much that I'm having trouble formulating sentences right now at this coffee with you. Wow. That's scary. Oh, gosh. This is where we're headed. Please, God, no. No, we got to prepare. Yeah. And something to think about, too, is that if it's an interest of your child, that a way to bond with them, and I think you mentioned this, the way to bond with them

is to ask him to show you about it, to ask him to teach you about it. And if it is interesting to him or he's using it in some way, then that is something, yeah, and then in that way you'll learn, you'll probably learn a lot more from asking him, then going and trying to figure it out yourself. Yeah. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place will stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip

unforgettable, somewhere with charm character and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos. In a man, Paula Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one.

We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. to bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other,

sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We were getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeard podcast present.

IVF disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not.

Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin.

So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected. to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a tape recorded statement. The person being interviewed is Krista Gail Pike. This is in regards to the death of a Colleen Slimmer.

She started going off on me, and I hit her. I just hit her and hit her and hit her. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slimmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. The state has asked for an execution date for Krista. We let people languish in prison for decades,

raising questions about who we consider fundamentally unrestorable. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike. Listen to Unrestorable Seasons, Reason 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's the other issue I have, and I can only speak from experience, you know, I got expelled from high school, okay, for cheating on a test.

And that's just the one that I got caught for. I cheated, right? I was not mature enough yet to want to learn. I mean, I'm in high school. I love being in school. My education was sort of learning how to get by and learning how to sort of, you know, use the system, essentially. I went to Boulder for two years. I knew I wanted to be in the movie business. And I left school because I wasn't academically inclined in any way.

Nor was I wanting to educate myself philosophically or read books or just understand the meaning of life, so to speak. So I'm not very educated as far as the standard education goes. I consider myself an intellectual person. I'm a big thinker. It just took me a longer period of time. Maturity is such a big component in education. We're expecting these kids to just be bang, bang, bang, and their brains developed enough to be like,

oh, you're going to college, you're going to learn right now, and you're going to soak it all in. But everyone is so different. And it's almost like we have to cater to that in a way, you know, because I only in my 20s is when I thought, oh, you know what? Like, I want to start reading books. I'm interested in this. I'm interested in that. I want to start to sort of learn about myself a little bit more and humanity. And then I got inspired.

But prior to 22 years old, I was like, I don't give a shit. You know, so how do we calculate for that? I think we're doing better now in today's world, but it's just a fact, you know? Yeah. I mean, we're not experts on the educational system per se, but it is a kind of blanket system that's out there. And as you said, people are so different and do things in different ways. I remember after my senior year of high school, I went and I had this whole speech prepared. I was going to tell my dad, my mom and dad, who were very much wanted me to go to college.

And I was going to tell them I was going to take a year off and work. And I, you know, plan this whole speech. And I got myself ready and sat down to my dad's office to talk to him. And he turned it to a credenza behind him to pick up something. And I blurted out what I wanted to say. And he turned back and said, absolutely not. And the fact is, is I would have done better to take a year off because I was similar to you. I just wasn't that mature and ready.

So I screwed off in the first couple of years of my undergraduate. And I think if parents can nurture what is happening for their own children, then not this sort of idea. And it's hard because there is a pressure for parents to. have their children go to college or go to a specific college or become a certain thing. And that could be familial, that could be societal pressure, whatever it is. But to step back and just to look at, and this is easier said than done, look at who it is you're dealing with. And maybe it's not even, you know, your two children, that one is just very different from the other. I mean, we think we often will say that's kind of the joke in parenting that you get one child.

And then once you figure it out, you're like, okay, I got this work, you know, sort of figured out how to do this, you get a different child. Oh, my God, I know. Oh, my God. It's so much so. Actually, real, real quickly, it's almost like what you're saying is, you know, you are not your kid. You or you. Don't impose what you feel on someone who is a completely different human being. than you. You know what I mean? Like I think we fall victim to that a little bit. Like this is what I

believe so you need to believe this as well. You need to go to college because that's what I did. That's the right thing to do. But that's just bullshit. You know what I mean? Like you have to recognize your children for who they are, not stand so rigid and just what you believe, you know. And the other thing too is that's such a good, it's so true. And I had a moment with Wilder, my oldest where he did some shit or whatever and you know I maybe reacted incorrectly and I walked into his room and I said hey um look dude I said I've had to switch the way I parent because you're going from sort of toddler and to preteen and now you're teenager and there's a big shift so you no longer don't want to cuddle with me like it's a whole different world and I am

getting used to this. So I said, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, okay, because you're number one. Bodie and Rio are going to benefit from you. And just as you are sort of figuring out this new sort of teenage chapter, which you were sort of trying to navigate, I'm the same thing. So I said, I'm going to make mistakes. You're going to make mistakes. And it is what it is. You know, and it was a healthy, good conversation to have, even though you just kind of nods and grunts, but I think they hear it. Yeah, that's beautiful. That's exactly what we want parents to do is have conversations,

own when things don't go great, start again, start fresh, show that you can apologize for your side of the street, demonstrate that you're not perfect. All of these things are some of the most tremendous things you can teach kids. And it's very different than, you know, the olden days and how parenting used to do. Yeah. And I also think we need to temper our front. frustrations when the kids don't respond the way that we want them to, you know, because it's like

I'm being vulnerable and I'm expressing myself to you. Like, give it back, bastard. But that is just not the way that they, that's not the way they take it in. I think we need to understand they are taking it in in their own way. So that's, that's brilliant. That's so important. Yeah, say what you need to say. And then, okay, all right, peace. I love you. I'm out, you know. Yeah. And that's part of letting them be who they are and kids really appreciate that they like those parents who can just let them be or know that they're listening even if they're not responding or if they're not making eye contact or if they're not you know immediately smiling about something they love to be known in that way and just given that space yeah and it's not easy because you're like what do you come

on man you know give me some vulnerability yeah yeah so we talk about having so we talk about having difficult conversations with kids or having conversations at all and noticing when does your child respond? Is it that you're walking to school together and you all aren't side by side that are side by side and not looking at one another? Is it that, you know, you said you're outdoorsy. Is it that you all are on the beach together? That it's that you're hiking together. Is it that a child likes to do art and they're sitting there but they're not looking at you? And knowing that about your child, that those are the times that you can talk to them more freely and they will hear you and maybe

they will connect more. They may not and that's okay to what we were just talking about, but that they, paying attention to when does your child talk to you and when do they open up? And if you can figure that out, then you can actually maybe have a little bit more if that's what you're going after because it's such an important point too to say it's okay if they don't give back what you are looking for in that moment. Yeah, it's usually at like 10 p.m. He wanders in my room and all of a sudden he's just attached to the foot of the bed just sort of talking and saying weird shit and I'm like, this is his moment. Like he always comes in late and just sort of like sort of

paces around the room and talks about weird things. It's funny. Yeah, that's so classic. And, you know, the other thing that can be challenging on the subject of letting kids be who they are is knowing what do they want to talk about. You know, I remember early on one of my first ever teen clients, all they wanted to do, all you wanted to do was talk about video games every session for several weeks. And I remember just thinking, what is he getting out of this? What is he getting out of this? And then at some point I asked him, I said, you know, you talk about video games a lot. What are you getting out of this?

And he said, you know, you're the only person who will listen. And it's my whole world, right? It really matters to him. And so really being the parent that lets the kid talk about whatever it is, they're actually interested. You may not care at all about the topic whatsoever. You might not like the band or the artist or whatever it is. But, you know, when you turn off that music and you say it sounds like crap,

they feel insulted and they feel like it's a blow to their system, you know. So true. You know, and they're not going to like it forever. So if you can just hold out until the next phase comes, and they can feel like, all right, my dad gets it. Yeah, yeah. It's so true because you, and you have to force yourself sometimes to be like, to get up and like whatever it is they're liking or immerse yourself

and whatever it is that they're into at that time, you know, and you're like, oh, cool, yeah. Those airsoft guns are rad. I'm like, oh, God, more aerosoph guns. I want to get to the mindfulness thing real quick, but, you know, just to go back, just to tell a story sort of about how the expectations are not met, I did a movie in Toronto in January and Wilder. My son got a part and he said, it's a big part. I mean, he's in the whole movie. I was there with him for six weeks in Toronto, living together.

And I had this like montage fantasy of, I overspent and got an amazing house. And I was like, oh, we're going to cook. and we're going to like watch movies and it's just going to be fucking rad when we have like a beer and we get to the place and I'm like all right cool this is awesome and literally I'm like

it's like up the stairs in the room the door closes I'm like first day I'm like what happened in my montage like I had the music playing in my head and everything and I'm like wilder like do you want to like get let's watch a movie dude like

let's funny it's like no I'm cool oh no this is supposed to be an incredible experience. Such a funny scene. So a relatable scene. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects,

or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel. like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be

away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching the moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever

feel demoralized. I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single

day that Paola and I don't call or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to the moment. with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos

as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing.

Bloomberg and IHard Podcasts present IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients.

You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like...

What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack,

where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a tape recorder statement. The person being interviewed is Krista Gail Pike. This is in regards to the death of a Colleen slimmer. She started going off on me, and I hit her. I just hit her and hit her and hit her and hit her.

On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. The state has asked for an execution date for Krista. We let people languish in prison for decades, raising questions about who we consider fundamentally unrestorable. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? we are starting the recording now please state your first and last name christa pike listen to unrestorable season two proof of life on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts Anyway, I want to talk about sort of meditation and mindfulness and how you guys sort of implement that into your practice with parents and children.

I don't know if you know my mom has done, has a foundation called Mind Up. Do you guys know of it? Okay. So it's nice. It's very similar to potentially what you guys are doing. You know, she gets into the science. of it, you know, so these kids can sort of learn about why they're feeling the way that they're feeling from a science place as well. Did you grow up with any mindfulness skills? Yeah, I mean,

my mom was going to India forever and she was always sort of meditating and it was sort of always surrounding us as children know, which we could have benefited from because we were products of divorce and it was tumultuous and it was crazy and that's why I've been in therapy, you know, for a million years. But It probably would have helped. In my teens, late teens, is when meditation sort of came into play for me and helped me in my early 20s get through gnarly bouts of anxiety, you know. And strangely, it's the hardest thing to do. I'll work out for an hour and a half.

I'll get on my boat and fish. I'll do this. I'll read. I'll clean. And it's like, oh, just sit down for 10 minutes and meditate. I'm like, I can't. I don't have the time. It's so strange.

how it's you just resist it you know i don't know what that is just being quiet being in being alone with your inner thoughts i don't know but yeah but talk about how you talk about that in mindfulness meditation how you guys sort of use it yeah well for one i just want to uh i just want to say i think sitting with the nature of our own mind you know being still is hard because we're there's a lot coming at us all the time and what we will often teach people parents is to bring mindfulness into the things that you're doing already and to help your children do that. You just named a lot of ways in which you are possibly getting present, you know, if it's fishing on your boat, if it's hiking, whatever it might be, but finding those

ways to help a child do that too. And meditation is wonderful. We will often say like it's so hard to get people to sit down and do that, but weaving mindfulness into your everyday life is a little bit different. Yes. And one of the things that we'll always talk about is that you can't help but be present if you're using your senses.

And that gives kids a lot of choices. So to help them, we also learn that in school. What are your senses? And so to help a child to tap into that, find which sense do they like to use the most is it their ears their eyes their touch and to practice with a child and that doesn't mean that you're all sitting down and meditating it could mean that you're finding five circles in a

room it could mean that you're finding four things that are blue in a room it could be that you're cooking and you all take a second to run through your senses just quickly but to do that And I imagine you know this from having anxiety that if you do it consistently, that that is going to help. And it is going to make a difference. And if a child knows how to do that or and a parent knows how to do that, you can slow things down. And really by slowing things down is where anxiety lowers, whether it's, you know, in our nervous system or it's running in the home. home in a moment. And really the idea that we're going to get people to sit down and meditate, we often will say this. Like we don't really even try that much to get people to sit down and

meditate that much anymore. It's great, if you will. But if you can practice those things, if you can practice when you walk through a doorway, try to take a breath. Yeah. Well, it's funny because I did meditation with the kids when they were younger, and we'd sit down and put on like a, you know, a guided thing. And they were little and, and, you know, Wilder. I'm always talking about Wilder, but Bodie's my middle one. He's more down. Rio's my girl.

And she's just like, I don't know, from another planet. She's an incredible human being. But he was always restless. He's like, I don't want to, you know, but we tried. And it was fun because we got into it. And then it was, you know, laughy. And, you know, it was an experience that just. It didn't last very long.

And this is leading up to sort of my final question because we've got to get out of here soon. But, you know, I went to the Hoffman Institute and I came back like, I was on cloud nine. I mean, at honeymoon period, we were just like, I literally felt psychic. I mean, I could see things that, I mean, it was incredible. You realize the potential that we have as a human being,

not that you will ever stay in that state of bliss because it's not really possible. You build a toolbox. You got some tools. but in that first couple weeks you're just like oh my god like i see the world differently i am clean and pure and i come home and you know the first thing i do is like okay kids i got canvases and paints i'm like we're going to paint the are the way we feel and they're like what is wrong with you like what is this hoffman place you went to this i was like just paint your

feelings and they're like what the fuck are you doing then we did and i still have them and it was fine. This is leading up to my question, how do you hide the broccoli, so to speak? You know what I mean? Like, how do you hide the greens, the sustenance, where you can put it in a turkey patty, you can put it in a burger or put it in, you know, to where they're getting it, but it, they don't know it. Because a lot of kids right now, they're savvy. They don't like that feeling of woo-woo, that, that sort of vulnerability, that, okay, now we're going to do this. Or talk about your feelings. How do you feel? You know, know, at least in my world, you know, there's got to be a way to hide the broccoli.

Totally, totally. It, you know, part of it is helping teens and kids understand that they're already doing it. It's not like it's something you're forcing them to do. They're already doing it. So you can have a casual conversation and go, hey, when you're on those bikes, what's that like? What does that feel like? I mean, are you like thinking about TikTok when you're on the bike or what's going on in there? oh no I'm just I'm just kind of writing it feels good oh it feels good nice and you just leave it

right there because that is the mindful activity right anything where they're using their senses so helping them see that what they're doing and then just really helping to develop those things so if somebody really likes to draw get them some markers leave them there you know get them some new stuff and and maybe don't even say anything that can be like we talk about playing it cool so you know you don't want to jump up it down and go hey you're being mindful you're being mindful right now. Look at you go. Later that night, you can be like, hey, that was pretty cool how you just like got into it.

Like you didn't even check your phone for like 20 minutes. That was awesome. You know, like just small things like that really plant those seeds and then modeling. Just being the parent that does those things because if they feel close to you and you have a strong bond and you are the parent that is modeling that vulnerability and going to workshops and Hoffman and caring about emotions, you are going to raise kids who do too. You even have to jam it down their throats. They will become that way.

So you're already doing it, really. Yeah. And then, you know, I know that tech is good and bad. I think it's expression, as I do wish it was, you know, more in person, but words are strong as well. I express myself because I love to write and I'm actually a pretty good writer, one of my sort of gifts, I guess, and I love to express myself through the word. And it's easier for me to do that than it is in person. And Hoffman changed that because I was able to feel more vulnerable and be able to look at my wife or my mom and especially with women, strangely, to say, or my

sister being like, I just want you to know, I fucking love you so much and I don't tell you enough and it was hard for me to do because I'd be like and sort of shy away from that feeling but I could use words to express myself and it was completely accepted I just wanted to sort of change that for myself all that being said sometimes text is amazing you know what I mean and they're able to express their feelings towards you towards me through text two nights ago I was thinking about wilder I just I just thinking about you man like he's in his room I was like I just you're just a great fucking kid I love you so much

he's 17 and just doing well and he's like man he's like thanks dad like I love you too so much nothing he would ever say to me in person honestly but I was able to you know you're able to do it through through text so communication there's a lot

of ways to sort of communicate these things you know amen yeah all right book plug the book what are we what are we reading it's called Raising Calm Kids in a World of Worry and Maria Shriver, it's her imprint called The Open Field at Penguin Random House.

Yeah. And you can buy it anywhere books are sold. It's written for parents to really help learn just what we've been talking about, just different ways of being and dealing with all of the worry that's out there today. We wrote it so that you can read it in a school pickup line so that you can pick up a little bit, take in some tools. Maria and I feel really strongly that having a big book that is impossible to get through is just unrealistic for parents today. So they can really pick it up and just learn a little something.

They can listen to it. Is it safe to say that it's not just a book based on? your profession and your education, but also from learned experience as well. Certainly, yeah. I mean, the book, every... I think that's cool. It's like not just like we're psychologists and this is what we do. It's like, yes, we know a lot, but here's who we are as well, experientially.

Totally. And what you'll find is, you know, it's hard to pay attention to books these days. And what we did is in almost every other paragraph or so, there's an example. So right away, you're just... in somebody's room or you're in a parent's head or you're hearing about a conversation, you know, similar to what we had in session or something like that so that you can just apply it immediately and see yourself in it and just get some of those tools going at home. Yeah.

Yeah. And we're both children who had anxiety. And there were many, many times throughout this process that we said this is like undoing, you know, learning about ourselves and our families is so much as well. because we have the lived experience as well as the professional experience to bring to this. And we really wanted parents to have something to do it differently because we both have wonderful parents. They just didn't have these tools.

Yeah. No, totally. I mean, totally. And then we actually had this ADD, ADHD, like expert who's been studying it for 25 years, 30 years on the podcast. It was great, you know, because he's like people, it's, they're calling it an illness, but it's like it's a fucking superpower is what he was saying as long as you learn how to manage it but think about it it can be a real superpower you know i think it's turning some of these negative things around not that anxiety isn't detrimental and it's been it was gnarly but like you know i wouldn't change

anything i've learned so much about myself you know um so yeah it's about lessening you know there's there's so much of it now you know that the fear around it needs to sort of dissipate a little bit and learn how to sort of use it for good you know anyway thank you guys for coming on this was this was great i appreciate it thanks oliver it was so great yeah really fun all right all right take care good luck we'll talk later all right all right bye bye yeah i feel like i feel like i could be a psychologist i feel like i could be a psychologist well i haven't gone going to school you know i wonder if i get life coach i don't think you have to I don't think you need an education to be a life coach, but acting, you know, it's been great

and love my business, but maybe I will start a non-licensed psychology practice and just be straight up. Like, I am not licensed, but I'm calling myself a psychologist. The hardest thing to do is to practice what you preach. You know what I mean? I need to follow my own advice sometimes. I think we all need to follow our own advice sometimes. easy to give the advice

harder to follow your own you can tattoo that on yourself if you want copyright Oliver Hudson I'm out I'm Jorge Ramos and I'm Paola Ramos together we're launching The Moment

a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one we sit down with politicians artists and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having as father and daughter for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Introducing IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patience. You think you're finally like in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack. where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee.

Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike. Listen to Unrestorable Season 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl

in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts, and to binge the entire season ad-free,

subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.