Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: Just Breathe with Emma Seppälä

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

The best-selling author joins Oliver for a mindful conversation about combatting anxiety. From a technique called Sky Breath Meditation, to cultivating an attitude of gratitude, and the benefits of exploring nature...Emma offers easy ways to heal and thrive in a chaotic world.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.

So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature. You can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest.

There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.

One Tribe, save my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of family secrets.

We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of the Over Comfort Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. to the new season of the Overcomber podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast

or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no.

Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling revelry. That's good. Introduction with Oliver Hudson. This is the intro of the podcast, sibling revelry. I am doing the intro. In case anyone is wondering, I'm doing the intro.

intro before we introduce our guest, Emma Sepula. I just want to talk about the end of school because the end of school is upon us, for those of you who have children. And it is the most exciting time ever because I guess it depends what age your kids are. You know what I mean? Because some people maybe don't look forward to summer because now you have to occupy your children because they are of a certain age to where they're not away in school and you have like six, seven to eight hours to, you know, work to do your thing.

And then summer comes and boom, now you're inundated with your children and having to find activities. But that's not me. It's goddamn summertime. And it's time to sleep. It's time to celebrate. We have two more days. When they were kids...

I'm one to embarrass my children. I just love doing it. And hopefully it makes them stronger people because of it. Or they could be an extensive therapy. I don't know. It will go one of two ways. There's no right down the middle. But, you know, I would love to pull up blasting schools out for summer and they hated it.

And then now, you know, I got a 16-year-old, a 14-year-old. It's horrifying for them. I mean, it's just horrifying. They care so much about what people think, as we all did when we were that age. Like, oh, my God. But summer's upon us. Very excited. It's time to party.

I got a haircut, a fresh cut, chop my salad. I'm ready to roll. But first, let's get into some happiness. Let's get into some science of happiness. Because connecting those two things, summer makes you happy. Let's figure out why. interesting we are living in this sort of new age not new age but this you know we are all trying to sort of find the secret sauce how do we stay happy of course the ups and the downs of life

will happen but how do we consistently stay in somewhat of a frame of mind to where we're not spewing these negative feelings and creating these negative emotions that are only a detriment honestly to our physical well-being. I'm always on a bit of a search. I write in my journal. I do little manifestations that I may or may not believe in, but why not I fucking give it a shot. But let's talk to Amicepola, because she actually has studied this shit instead of me, you know, spouting my certain beliefs. And she has a new book out called Sovereign. And then there's a bunch of other things. It's like Sovereign, like how to become the greatest human being in the world or whatever it is.

But Sovereign. Just Google Sovereign and Buy Sovereign. That is the book that might change your life. Anyway, let's bring her on so she can educate. me and everyone else around us and maybe make this this date a little bit better. Hello.

Hello. Hello. How are you? Good. Well, I'm so glad to talk to you. Thank you for coming on. Our friend James, Doty. He was so awesome. We actually exchanged phone numbers.

We kind of text now. I think we're becoming best friends. I'm not sure. That's awesome. He's a really good friend to have. I love him. He is. Yeah, we worked together for many years and, yeah, he's special.

He is. I mean, his story was really inspiring, you know, just about sort of, you know, the world of manifestation, the neuroscience behind it, which is why I'm sort of, I'm excited to talk to you about for so many different reasons. Number one, it's, it holds a special place for me as far as sort of the science of happiness because this is what my mother has been sort of researching for years and years and years now. I mean, 20 plus years. Yes.

Happiness has been sort of her focus, joy, sort of not just the sort of existential idea of it, but the actual science behind it, you know. Yeah. And to talk to someone who has actually dedicated a lot of their lives to that. It's exciting because you can actually put some data to it. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I've been aware of her research with meditation and with children and, yeah, for a while because I've been in that field for a while and that's really awesome work. So how did you get into this?

You know, I mean, how did this all happen for you? And did it start like this? Well, it started with, so I grew up in Paris, which sounds, you know, really romantic. But it's actually, there's a lot of negativity in the culture. And so growing up there, you always think everything's always going to hell in a hand basket. You're never good enough. Nothing will ever work out. That's kind of the thoughts that are going on.

Even as a kid, you just learn that. And then I moved to the U.S. for college and I saw, oh, wow, people don't have time for complaints here. People are more positive. I thought, I really like this. But then I looked around and I saw, wow, people believe I am what I do. And my achievements are essential to my identity. and I saw people burning themselves into the ground. I thought, there's something that's still causing a lot of suffering, you know?

And I think we can see that around us all the time. And then after college, I went to China for a couple years. And I saw people who had absolutely nothing. And they were freaking grateful for everything. And they were so strong. They were so resilient. And even though having nothing, and I was like, whoa, like, these people have something. In the West, we have outer wealth, these people, inner wealth.

And I saw the same in India. And then I thought, okay, I needed research this further. So then I did a master's in East Asian Studies slash Buddhist Studies at Columbia with Bob Thurman, who you probably know about. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and so, and that was awesome. And I loved it. And I thought, okay, at one point I thought, I'm going to do a PhD with him. And I thought, no, I don't want to make this just an intellectual exercise.

and I started really getting serious about my meditation practice. And then I thought, okay, let me do a PhD in psychology because I can do research on meditation and whether it benefits people and show it with data. And if it does, that can help people. And so then I went into, I did a PhD in psychology and looked at the science of well-being and compassion and also did studies on meditation for mental health for well-being. And I work with veterans with trauma using breathing practices. And a lot of the things that had also helped me because I was in New York City during 9-11 and I had definitely had some trauma stuff going on.

Yeah, I was about to ask that. Like, you know, did you suffer with your own sort of anxiety, depression or sort of who am I in this big world, this overwhelming feeling, you know, of how am I going to make a difference? Who am I? You know, and then had to sort of utilize some of your practices, meditation to get yourself out of thought. unks. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it was, it just became really apparent after 9-11. Every morning at 8.30, I'd be sitting my little, you know, studio apartment on West 100th Street shaking before going out. And I was like, all right, like, something's got to change. You know, and I tried so many things. I didn't want to go the medication route. I did want to go

the meditation route, but I tried a lot of things that I tried, you know, you know, I was going to the Tibet house all the time. And falling, bought them around. and all the Tibetan monks hoping to, like, gain inner peace by osmosis, and that wasn't working. I did, I did bikram yoga like five times a week, and I was strong, but I was still anxious. And then I also was trying mindfulness, which was sort of new at the time, new in the sense of, um, uh, Kabat-Zin's work had just sort of his, his first books were out, and not a lot of people knew about it yet, but I still felt like, I, if I just sit here and observe, I'm just so freaking aware that I'm anxious and it's making me crazy, you know, and I was like, this isn't

working for me. And then I stumbled into a breathing practice that I learned at Columbia. Some of the fellow students had organized this program. It's called Sky Breath Meditation. And I thought, I hate this. And then at the end of the class, the teacher said, do this for 40 days and then see if it works for you. And I said, yeah, I'm going to do this because I don't believe you, you know. And also, So as a scientist, I just, that's how I think. And I'm 20 years later, I'm still practicing every day. And that's what I've done some of my research on the breathing. So I just realized like, for anxiety, that was a really good practice for me.

And that's when I then conducted research with veterans later on. Because I think a form of meditation, I mean, I think we have this idea that it's just sitting quietly with your legs sort of cross with meditation. And this is just my own opinion. But it can mean so many things. I mean, I can have a meditative experience while I'm walking or the other day I was running and my eyes were so focused only about 10 feet in front of me and I almost lost consciousness in the sense of I know I'm heading in a direction but my mind is no longer on sort of that direction and I was, my brain started to move into this sort of peaceful meditative place

you know so it's finding your meditation your personal meditation right yes and i think we go into meditative states throughout the day whether we realize it or not and children are in it a lot they're so present they're so immersed in the moment you know and it's it's interesting though in our time and age when things are moving so fast and we're getting pinged from all sides constantly it's like our current modern way of life is stopping us from going into the those natural places of meditation that we would otherwise go into, which is why we kind of have to make it a practice, you know? Yeah, no, I know.

It's so true. I mean, look, we can't deny the future. We can't deny the evolution of technology. It's just what it is. Yeah. You know, but I do think nature is extremely important in that balance because the minute you get into a place where you have trees, you have the ocean, you have a river, you have a lake, and you are in somewhat solitary place.

You can't help, but your mind sort of open up and sort of wander a little bit and, you know, find awe. It's so awe, the word awe, awe used to be something I felt like we had a lot of and now it's sort of moved away a little bit. That sort of wondrous, oh, my God, look at what we're looking at, you know. Yeah. I mean, awe is something we could experience. Kids experience all the time, right?

All the time. And it's like, everything is amazing. Like, oh, we're still alive for another day. That's really amazing. I mean, there's so many things to be so in awe of. And I love what you said about nature because, you know, the science shows that exposure to nature decreases anxiety, depression, increases well-being, increases creativity. So if you take like a team, you know, people always trying to get their team to be more innovative.

And it's like, well, you're having them sweating and sympathetic activation stressed out at their computer. I'm not going to get more innovative there. But if you have people go into nature for three days unplugged without their phone, nothing, guess how much more creativity they come back with. Well, you have no choice. 50% more. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I mean, you watch, I have three kids, 16, 14, and 11, you know, and we're not, we're not crazy about technology, meaning like, I'm not limiting it. I'm sort of of the world. We're in it, do it, but there's going to be a balance here. You're going to have to get outside. You're going to have to find something other than sitting in your room and scrolling through TikTok. I will say, though, that when they don't have their phones or when maybe one is lost or something happens, your creativity just opens way up.

And remember when we were kids, it's like, okay, what do we do? What do we do now? Oh, well, let's build this and create this and jump off of this even though it might be dangerous, you know? Yeah. I mean, we just did so many more things that were innovative. Absolutely. I mean, that's one of the reasons I wrote my most recent book. It's called Sovereign.

He's just about bringing awareness to the fact that we have, there are ways in which we're limiting our own well-being, but also our own potential. For example, creativity. again, not meaning just exclude technology forever from your life, but making sure to have boundaries with it. Like we grew up in a, we just grew up with phones and technology taking over our lives without even thinking about, wait a sec, what are healthy boundaries and should I take some time off? I mean, I know for me when I want to write a book or like run a study where I'm, you know, figuring out the solutions to a problem, it's going to come to me when I'm not thinking about

it, when I'm in nature, when I'm, you know, doing something other than highly stressed or focused on something. In fact, research shows that it's not just, if you don't have access to nature, which a lot of people don't, unfortunately, then even having a plant on your desk, and if you don't have a window, even having a screensaver or poster has an impact on your well-being. That's just how deeply wired we are for it. J. Love. Oh, my God. Totally. I mean, if we're going back to sort of primal man, I mean, it's just in our DNA. I mean, I think that's why I mean, I can only speak for myself. But when I actually get into nature, something happens physically to me that I can feel, you know.

And it's probably, I think you can say a lot of people feel that way. And I think it's just sort of this unconscious reconnection with something primal. September Olms feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place will stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor.

If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place. to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Jude Ice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.

This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional.

It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for the kind of two years. You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Teller Ornales, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con

or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the Tech and Culture Podcast,

their arno grows on the internet. There are no grows on the internet is not just about tech. It's about culture and policy and art and expression and how we as humans exist and fit with one another. In our new season,

I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet. I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration

about the power of the internet for both good and bad. They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice. at the market that is often 12 hours away. They're not going to be like, we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people

as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them, and I think that's a real important story to keep repeating. I created There Are No Girls on the Internet because the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Listen to There Are No Girls on the Internet on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

I don't write some. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years. I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive

to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about thoroughly before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realize just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem. I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Ross. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it.

Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I want to go back real quick to the breathing, because I'm, interested in that. I've been, I've sort of suffered, I guess, you can say the word with anxiety since my 20s, and I'm sure even before that without the recognition of it. I am on medication. I'm on lexapro.

I have been meditating, but not consistently enough. I love the practice of mindfulness because I firsthand know how it can sort of affect me in the most positive way. But it's not, it's, it's much more different. difficult people sort of say. It's not easy to follow and to actually practice. So this breathing I'm interested in, what was it called against sky? It's called Sky Breath Meditation. How does it work? Yeah. So it's a practice that originally stems from India. I don't know if you've heard of Guradev Shre Shri Ravi Shankar. He's like an India. Oh yes. Yes. Yes. Yoga master. And so he started teaching this,

I think like 40 years ago. And now you can just learn it online like in a couple sessions. it's a series of breathing practices and that when they come together, what are research, I can tell you, I mean, I know I feel better when I do it. It helped me with my anxiety and trauma. And then from a scientific perspective, I can tell you what we see. I love that because I wanted to get into the science of all of this as well. Yes, definitely. So what we found, so we worked with veterans for whom traditional treatments hadn't worked,

and we know that for people with post-traumatic stress or veterans with post-traumatic stress, the therapeutic approach wasn't always something that they could complete or that was successful for them, including the pharmaceutical approach as well, or they didn't want to do the therapy, they didn't want to do the meds. So what we ended up seeing was so many veterans are dropping out of these studies. And then sadly, you've probably heard about the suicide rate is really high. Oh, gosh. It's so sad.

So crazy. You know, yeah, they're, they basically just sort of handed their life over to, you know, and then they come back and they can't really make it through. So it's really sad. And so I thought, you know, the breathing worked for me in trauma. And I know it had worked for other people and survivals of the tsunami and so forth. There was a couple of research studies. So I thought, you know, let's do this.

And we ran this study over a week. So we had one group of veterans who did the learn the breathing and one group of veterans who did not. And what we found is that over the course of one week, their anxiety normalized. And it wasn't just, you know, with a questionnaire, like, do you feel less anxious? Like, it was also physiologically. So we put them in a, in a situation. where they're sitting in a room with the lights turning on and off and like blasts of white noise coming, which is mildly annoying if you don't have trauma, but if you do, it can be very, lead to kind of a large startle response in the body.

And we saw that the more they their anxiety improved, the less they respond, they had an anxiety response. We're seeing at the physiological level a shift. And then most recently we ran in second study with a larger group of veterans with the Palo Alto VA. And they found that it's at least as good as the gold standard therapy for post-traumatic stress, but even more powerful at the level of the brain with regard to ability to regulate your emotions. So again, from a scientific perspective, you know, and again, we ran the study at Yale as well, not with veterans, but with Yale students. And we wanted to see which well-being intervention is most powerful. Is it this breathing or we did a mindfulness-based

stress reduction class? And then we did an emotional intelligence class and a control group. So the students would do one of those. And we found that the breathing had the best results. And what we think is happening is you're, it's almost like you're reprogramming your nervous system. And if you think about it, like in our day and age, we're programmed to be in sympathetic. So we're programmed to be in fight or flight. Like that's what our modern life is conditioning us for, starting with the coffee in the morning, you know, starting with that, but then go, go, go, stimulation, you know, and also this sort of addiction to a dream.

But it's one of the things I write about my new book is we're almost addicted to adrenaline. Like we're almost, it's a high. It's definitely a high. And it's, we think I can't get anything done unless I'm in the state. Although we're really only supposed to be there like 1% or 5% of our life. You know, if we want it, like anyway, then we can go into that. But in any case, what this breathing seems to do from a scientific perspective, what we're seeing is it starts to condition your, you for to be in a balanced state. So you're, you're coming back to a more parasympathetic state, but also with regards to trauma, what the veterans report is, I remember what happened, but I can move on.

So in the case of post-traumatic stress, it's as if that trauma is right in front of you. So you're afraid to go into them all because it's a crowded place and in crowded places you experienced an attack or whatever, right? So, or if you could think about, oh, I'm in a new relationship, but I have trauma from the last relationship. So I'm scared in this relationship, you know. And so what it seems to be. doing is something we call memory reconsolidation. So when you have trauma, you remember, let's see you have a car accident, right? And you remember that car accident and you could think, oh, you know, I'm over the car accident.

But then whenever you're in a car, you get at your heart starts beating and you're in this fight or flight activation. So it's the memory is attached to your body being stressed. Does that make sense? And that's in a sense a way you could think. of post-traumatic stress. But what happened with the breathing is that they could have the memory, but without their whole body hijacking the moment.

It's like when you've seen a movie that's scary, you're like, yeah, that was scary, but you're not scared now anymore. That's how memory should be, right? But in terms of trauma, it's like, no, the trauma's still here 25 years later. I'm still here. I'm still in the trauma. And that's what it seems to be sort of normalizing your nervous system. And thereby, so we call it memory reconciling.

or this idea of being able to shift the relationship. Do you have to use a thought process when you are doing this breathing? Or is it just taking care of itself? It's taken care of itself, which is really good because the veterans, they just, first of all, they had a real show me attitude. They were just doing the study for the money. They're like, I'm just here for the money. This isn't going to work.

And second of all, I think they were shying away from all the cognitive, like, you know, rethink this. everything. It's just a lot. You know, and we also know that, you know, there's this idea in psychology sort of change your thoughts, change your life. And that's okay. But if you're dealing with big trauma or big emotion, it's not going to work. Because when you have a big trauma, your amygdala is activated, the emotion centers are activated. You don't have access to your ability to think clearly. We know that. That's what neuroscience shows. So change your thoughts, change your life. Maybe it works if you're upset about a parking ticket. It's not going to work if you're upset because you just found your spouse cheating on you.

Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know because I went through, you know, still in CBT, you know, cognitive therapy. And I really loved it. It made the most sense to me. It was very active therapy. Yeah. But it has to be paired with sort of more of a mindful practice as well.

Yes. And then, of course, I subscribe to the ball of fire theory, which is my own, which is this earth. We're all going to be a flaming ball of fire at some point. So what does it all really matter? I know that sounds nihilistic, but at the same time, it's like we have all, we create all of these problems, you know, that are catastrophized and actually based in no reality yet because we're projecting. And that projection actually physically makes us feel pain, whether it be short of breath,

whatever sort of, you know, stress pains that you have. and you're hurting your body physically by creating total bullshit. It's crazy, right? Yeah, and then when you think, well, why do I care so much? You know, in a million years or whatever, blah, what is this? Civilization will no longer exist. Right. Why are, you know, sometimes that makes me feel better.

But what is the breathing? What is the actual practice, like, of this specific style of breathing? Yeah, so I recommend learning it from an instructor. Okay. I can give you... Yeah, just a basic. Yeah, it starts with a series of different pranayama, similar to what you might learn in a yoga class,

but a little bit more extensive. And then it has a rhythmic breathing that goes in a certain pattern, and it's guided. So you're guided through it when you do the class. You could probably find it on YouTube right now, right? I mean, essentially. So I wouldn't recommend YouTube, because I don't know what they're putting out there.

But I've learned it from a trained instructor, just because you want to do it, learn it the right way. That's at least what our research. We've only done research on that. I like the actual. You can learn it through the nonprofit card of living. It could just like a Zoom. It's like two or three sessions in a row or something like that. Yeah. Great. Amazing. Yeah. But I can teach you a really short breathing practice. That's like a mini, many practice that you could just, you know. Let's do it. I think this is important too. Even for me, I mean, obviously I selfishly want it. But, you know, I think a lot of people,

Obviously, as we know, especially today, a lot of people are struggling with some sort of a mental health situation. I mean, even if it's, even if it's minor, even if it is, you know, anxiety or a bit of depression or where am I, who am I, why, where, where, all these things. And if you can even just sort of have a mini practice or something that can bring you back to center, even if it, for that moment. So you then the, it's almost like you're building confidence in yourself to regulate. it's not necessarily about this idea that you are going to be regulated forever. But when you sort of move off kilter a little bit, you're like, okay, I'm not going to spiral into this whole of anxiety because I know I have a tool to bring me back to center. Yes.

You know? Completely. Absolutely. So, you know, I think sometimes it helps to know the science behind it. So when you inhale, your heart rate is increasing and when you exhale, it's slowing down. So if you breathe, do you want me to guide you through your practice or just describe it briefly? Let's do it. Yeah, I'm going to do it right now.

Okay. So, all right, so just close your eyes for a moment. Okay. And I just want you to just tap in and notice how you feel at this moment so that you can see how you'll feel after. So you can notice sort of how your body feels, any areas of looseness or tension. You can also notice, you know, your thought traffic. So just notice that there's a lot of thoughts coming in. or not so many and then you can also notice and how you feel your emotional state and then we're

going to shift her breathing so we're going to breathe in and try to breathe through your nose and have your hands on your lap palms facing up because it's just an easy you're going to be able to breathe deeper that way so we're going to breathe through the nose breathe in two three four hold and breathe out two three four five six seven eight breathe in two three three four fill your lungs hold and breathe out two three four five six seven eight a couple more times deep breath in hold hold at the top and breathe out and breathe out for twice as long as you breathed in five six seven eight deep breath in two three four fold and breathe out two three four five six seven eight and do two more on your own knowing that as you're breathing out because you're lengthening that exhale you're starting to slow down the heart rate and as you do that you're tapping into your parasympathetic

nervous system, which is the calming response, the opposite of the fight or flight. And after this next exhale, you can just relax, keep your eyes closed, just notice any shifts in how you feel and the traffic in your mind. And when you're ready, you can open your eyes. Yeah. Totally feel it. Yeah, 100%. I mean, one million percent.

This is sort of what I do sometimes to go to sleep, you know, without even really knowing it. Yeah. You just, I don't know, I mean, if anything, it just feels like you've got more oxygen going into your brain. You feel a little clearer, a little lighter, you know? Exactly.

Yeah. And that's, you know, I just feel like that's inner sovereignty. Like, that's inner well. You know, we talk about outer wealth. We talk about mental health. It's like, this is, you know, we have the ability. It's free. It's at our fingertips.

It's ancient, you know, it's the one thing we've been doing since we were born and we'll do till we die. Like, if you're alive, you're breathing, you know. Let's work with the veterans, too. It was like, it doesn't matter if you're a wounded wet veteran, if you, you know, are injured. But if you're alive, you're breathing. Yeah. So explain the title because I love it, you know, because it's freedom, essentially, right? I mean, is that kind of the idea behind it or, you know, explain that title a little bit.

It is, you know. It is, you know. Yeah, and I think we often think about outer freedom. Like, let me, let me have, you know, what I need to be sovereign on the outside. Like, let me have my own house and my own bank account and this and that. It's like, well, that's all fine and good. I mean, it's great. But if on the inside, you're feeling bound, you're not feeling free, then that's only part of the,

you know part of the equation and on the other hand when you have that inner sovereignty then you have almost everything that you need you know and so i think for myself i just saw how easy it is for us to fall for thought patterns behaviors um compulsions in our life that are actually standing in the way of our own freedom i'll give you an example so i teach leaders at the yale school of management i teach executives and there's only talented people that come in and and also some of the students, and I see that the biggest thing standing in their way is their relationship with themselves. For example, if I ask an audience, how many of you are self-critical, 95% of them raise their hand. If you look at it from a psychological perspective, self-criticism is self-loathing.

It's so powerful. It's self-loathing. And some people are like, whoa, this is self-critical, you know, essential for self-improvement? It's like, self-awareness is being like, oh, I suck at statistics is that's self-awareness right but self-criticism is beating yourself up is feeling shame not feeling good enough 80% of millennials endorse the idea I'm not good enough with regards to almost every area of their life if you think about that it's so heartbreaking what do you attribute that to I think I call it like viral toxic viral programming like it's it's run runs in families it runs in communities it runs in societies it's running rampant and it's something that when you look at the research leads to anxiety, depression, burnout, fear of

failure, less willingness to try again, basically the opposite of resilience. And yet, if you have the, so if you are able to have a life affirming relationship with yourself, like, sky's the limit. So whenever I ask that question to the audiences I speak to, there's one or two people who are not self-critical. And when you look at those people, they're so freaking powerful. They are so powerful. It's like, wow, you have a life-affirming relationship with yourself. It doesn't mean that they're like ego-driven or all self-centered. It just means that they have the kind of relationship with themselves that they would have with their best friend that's supportive. I often think about that, like, how are you going to show up on the battlefield of your life? Are you going to show up,

you know, are you going to show up wounded because you kicked your way there? Or are you going to show up, you know, brand spanking new armor because you loved your way there, you know? September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place will stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere

with charm character and a little local. flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rulstar, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest.

There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a hundred of years.

You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Teller Ornelis, who with Rutherford, Balls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other Native stories, such as the creation of the first Native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, Native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

your podcasts. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the Tech and Culture Podcast, There Are No Grows on the Internet. There Are No Grows on the Internet is not just about tech. It's about culture and policy and art and expression and how we as humans exist and fit with one another. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the Internet.

I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be. for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration about the power of the internet for both good and bad. They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice at the market that is often 12 hours away. They're not going to be like, we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them, and I think that's a real important story to keep repeating. I created there are no girls on the internet because

the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday. Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years.

I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names and gospel. R&B and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about thoroughly before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realize just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem?

I was eight years old and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Raw. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture Raises us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How would you sort of explain or tell the difference between delusion and sort of just a strong sense of self-worth like you're talking about? Meaning, oh, I can do nothing wrong because I have so much self-love that, no, I can do this, I can do that. I have the ultimate compassion and forgiveness for myself. So now I'm going to take advantage of that and just sort of, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Because I feel like that probably could happen, you know? It could happen. I mean, I think that oftentimes the people who have met who have that inner sovereignty also very humble. You know, because when you're aware, when you're deeply aware of yourself, you're, so by that self-compassionate relationship with yourself is one in which you are, you care for yourself. I think the best analogy is if you have kids, you have kids, right? You're aware of, oh, when was the last time the kid ate or, I mean, now they're older, but when there's one, when you lost something?

Still, though, no matter what, you're like, dude, what did you eat? Did you eat? Why are you eating total dog shit? You've just consumed 8 billion calories of ultra-processed food. Do you realize how bad that is for you? Dad, I'm fine. I'm young. Look at my muscles.

I'm like, I don't care about your muscle. So, yes, I still have these conversations. Right. If you're aware, like, when is that time they ate? When is the last time they slept? They get in their breast. Like, you know, and it's really just about when we have that nurturing relationship with ourselves. And it also means being deeply honest with yourself, you know?

But it, it, it, the three tenets of self-compassion, the research shows is one is to be able to treat yourself like you would have friend. So I often ask this question, like, what did you say to yourself the last time you made a cringe-worthy mistake? And people will often say things like, you're such an idiot or worse. like really awful things. When you look at it, you're like, this is so heartbreaking. This is how people talk to themselves.

But when I ask, okay, so what would you say to your best friend who made the same mistake? They say, you're okay, you've got this. Everyone makes mistakes, no big deal. Like, it's just so kind, you know. And when you think about it from a research perspective, those people who have a more self-compassionate relationship, they end up with much better mental health. They have better relationships. If you're hard on yourself, you're also hardest on the people you love the most to

want to hurt the least. they have better sleep they have better um cognitive abilities i mean the list goes on sticking with that real quickly though the science behind that because i love that and i i you know you are i think and i don't i'm not a scientist anyway whatsoever but i assume that when you were having these positive affirmations when you have self-compassion and self-forgiveness and you do speak to yourself like you are your best friend i'm assuming that even chemical dopamine, all of these things are probably serotonin released because you are having a healthy, positive relationship, right? I guess my question is the science behind that when you all have

self-love, is there actual physical evidence behind your brain and the chemistry that that goes on? I love that you think like a scientist. I love that you ask that because what self-compassion researchers have, you know, posited is that when you have a more self-compassionate relationship with yourself. It's like you're in this, you create a more nurturing relationship that puts you back in the parasympathetic. Our conversation keeps going back to that. Like, it's all about how do we come back to there? Because when we're in parasympathetic, that's when we show up as our most creative. We're the best decision makers. We're more emotionally intelligence. We're healthier. We sleep better. You know, we have better immune system. The list goes on. And again,

so, you know, reclaiming your inner sovereignty, yes, life has its stressors. You're going to face financial stressors, relationship stressors, health stressors, whatever. Without a doubt. Yeah, I mean, of course. Yeah. But let's not add to it. Let's not add all the other layers that are preventing you from them being as resilient as you possibly could be when those situations arise. So let's go through an example. Okay, let's just take finances for a second. Okay, I'm, I don't know if I want to make my rent and I'm having the stress. You know, kids are healthy. Everything's good, but holy fuck. How do you sort of reframe that in order to, you know, have better self-talk, when the reality is, like, I don't know if I'm going to make rent, a real-life problem, you know? Yeah. So in those situations, which are difficult situations, if you can bring your own mind back

to a place of greater peace in your nervous system back to that place, you're able to think more clearly. So back to this sort of idea we were talking about before, you know, when do we get our best ideas or ability to think clearly it's when our nervous system is more relaxed and if you if you think about like when if for yourself if you're working on a problem or trying to think of a solution to something when do you come up with your best ideas yeah when you least expect it honestly when you were at your most sort of even state yeah like what kind of activities uh again running I mean, my brain rolls when I'm sort of in an exercise mode, when I am sort of daydreaming.

You know, I have a very creative brain. I probably have some sort of ADHD, but in the best possible way, you know, because it allows me to sort of relax into myself and my brain will just wander and not think about all of these sort of things I need to accomplish in that day. Yes. You know. Exactly. So when you go in those spaces, your brain is an alpha wave mode, which means, which research is shown is when we're most likely to get our aha moments of insight or innovation, like is happening for you. And those moments come, not when you're in this highly stressed or focused mode, but when you are allowing your mind to be in this, you can think of it as a meditative state of mind. Exactly.

And in that moment, so the outer stressors are there. And yet when you're able to do things, whether it's breathing, meditation, going in, nature and calm yourself down. You're able to think more clearly. You're able to make better decisions. You're able to come up with innovative solutions you wouldn't have come up with before. And I always think, gosh, if we always stay hooked in this high adrenaline mode, no matter what, we are preventing ourselves from coming up with the most innovative solutions that we have. And reclaiming your sovereignty with regards to that is engaging in some of these practices that are allowing you or to do that, you know, and people will roll over in the

morning and the first thing they look at is their phone. It's like every moment that you're highly focused, you're taking away from your ability to come up with those innovative solutions that would otherwise arise in the early morning hours when maybe things are slower. Yeah, everyone does that. I fucking do it too. It's like, I get up, grab the phone. I mean, it's horrible. Yeah, but it's interesting. See how like in the positive sense, we can think of it as, let me carve out some time, which you do when you're running. It sounds like when you're running, you're not also looking at your phone or listening to something necessarily.

So let me make sure that in my day I have these moments in which I am allowing for the alpha wave mode in my brain, you know, at whatever time. And if you think about it, that's why kids are so innovative. They're so genius. And the reason is because they're in that space a lot, you know, unless you give them an iPad at age too. You know what I mean? And they're constantly in there. But otherwise, like, my kids are constantly pulling all the stuff out of the recycling

pen to build stuff, you know? Yeah. And right, my last night, my kid is like, I want to write, I'm writing a book. Mom, I got to get back to my, I got to write this book. And, you know, sky's the limit. And that's all of our potential. No, I know what it almost feels like, too, because you're a parent, right? Yeah.

So it's like we have this next generation that is honestly, probably first or second generation that is truly growing up on the technology that is today, you know, and how to sort of maintain that creativity or to keep that creativity going. Now, not to say that it's all bad, meaning technology is definitely, you know, my kids are more entrepreneurial. They're like, okay, how do I sell things? I want to make money. What if I create this online sort of store and put some of my old stuff on there?

I mean, you know, there is the deposit. elements to that. But as far as sort of, you know, maintaining or, you know, keeping that primal creativity that has to do with building, you know, that, you know, what if I do this and put this together, you know, how do we, how do we keep that? Is it just by taking this away from them and saying, go outside, you know? I mean, in a way, that's why I've been writing about this, because it's like a cry for, like our planet, in many ways, is a sinking ship.

It's like, we need innovation. We need creativity. We need brilliant solutions and we can have them and we can get them. And our next generation is definitely going to be doing some of that. And it's, that's having that awareness because what the research shows that is in the last 20 years, creativity, kids' creativity has been plummeting. It's not just because of technology because prior to like 10 years ago, you know, there's a certain amount of generation that didn't have technology right at their finger

all the time, but it was also because in school we're prioritizing logic and reason and so forth, which is great. Like, you need to be able to think and write clearly. But we have not allowed there to be emphasis also on the other modalities of thinking. In fact, I have a whole chapter on intuition in my book because we could think of intuition. Yes. Intuition. You reminded me that's another thing I wanted to hit upon before we finish this intuition.

Yeah. So keep going. Well, there's this thought, oh, intuition is magical thing. He's like, well, actually, you know, if you look at the data, it's this, this, these aha moments are also you could think of as moments of intuition or insight. And, you know, like Albert Einstein, he knew how to tap into this. He would go and listen to or play Mozart. And he would say, he would say intuition is a, I may be misquoting, but it's like, intuition is a divine gift and, reason is a faithful servant, we've created a society where we honor the servant and have thrown

away the gift. So for him, he would get these insights, like downloads, insights, and then he would go and work on it and write the paper or, you know, do the study, whatever. But in our society, we've just, we've completely not made room, even in education, for those moments of insight. So the little, little kids still have it oftentimes. They'll come up with something creative, But as of 11, 12, 13, if you're not prioritizing that or giving kids the ability to be in that daydreaming mode, I mean, I remember as a kid just sitting in the bus going home and just daydreaming, what else is I going to do, right? But that's when you're also coming up with your brain is an active problem solving mode when you think you're idle. And I think in the U.S. particular, our culture here values doing, doing, doing. But in that process, we devalue those moments. You know, most Americans have very little vacation, and they don't even take it.

And of those who do take it, they're checking their email. So it's just like checking their work email, you know? But in so doing, we have stopped ourselves from being as innovative as we could be. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place will stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere

with charm character and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.combe.combe.combe slash host. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judey. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump role star,

Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to casual chaos on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native culture is very alive. My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. It was a huge honor to become a television writer because it does feel oddly, like, very traditional. It feels like Bob Dylan going electric, that this is something we've been doing for a hundred of years.

You carry with you a sense of purpose and confidence. That's Sierra Taylor Ornellis, who with Rutherford Falls became the first native showrunner in television history. On the podcast, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we explore her story, along with other native stories, such as the creation of the first native Comic-Con or the importance of reservation basketball. Every day, native people are striving to keep traditions alive while navigating the modern world, influencing and bringing our culture into the mainstream. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us.

I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech and culture podcast, Their Arnold Goes on the Internet. There are no growth on the internet is not just about tech. It's about culture and policy and art and expression and how we as humans exist and fit with one another. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Emile Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet. I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something.

Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's a fascinating exploration about the power of the internet for both good and bad. They use WhatsApp to get the price of rice at the market that is often 12 hours away. They're not going to be like, we don't like the terms of service, therefore we're not trading rice this season. It's an inspiring story

that focuses on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Platforms exist because of the regular people on them, and I think that's a real important story to keep repeating. I created there are no girls on the internet because the future belongs to all of us. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday.

Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years. I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you.

On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about Thurley before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realize just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem. I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Raw.

From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So I want to get back to intuition, but first I wanted to hit upon sort of, of India, China, what you talked about in the very beginning, because I went to India when I was 19 years old. I was there for three weeks. And, you know, it was definitely life altering in the sense of sort of being, you know, a young man and seeing, you know, a different culture that I had never experienced before. And coming back with this sense of, wow, like you said, these people, a lot of them have absolutely nothing but the joy and sort of the happiness.

you know, was just, you know, penetrating. I was like, whoa. What do you attribute that to from a cultural standpoint or from a scientific standpoint? And when you're talking about China, when you're talking about India, and then you're sort of relating that to the U.S. where everything is like consume, consume, consume. How do we breach the top? They may not, especially if you see that the poorer communities,

they may not have any much materially, but they have each other. community. We see that also from a cultural research perspective in lower socioeconomic status groups in the U.S. is that the lower socioeconomic status, the more connected to one another. But there's the community asset, but there's also the gratitude. And I think you see that a lot in India. They get a new car and they'll like do a puja in it and a prayer of gratitude in the car. Like there's like one day a year where they like celebrate their cars and their vehicles and there's just this gratitude for everything that research shows gratitude is one of the best kept secrets to happiness because especially, you know, in our society, research shows that

three times more positive things than negative things happen to us every day. But what are we focusing on? Oh, that nasty email I got. Or, oh, I didn't sleep well last night. Well, do you have a roof over your head? Do you have a meal? Are you safe? Like, are you able to engage with the world, you know, whatever in some way. You're doing really, really well. But we've And that was how it was in France. You know, it was like, someone was telling me this the other day. It's like, in France, everybody lives in heaven, but thinks they live in hell. Well, if you think you live in hell, there's a matter where you live.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And I was, there's a woman that I, um, talk about in my book called Nasrine Sheik, who's incredible. She, um, she grew up in the sweatshops, sweatshops of Catmandu. She's a child slave. So really intense story. Anyway, she lives in the U.S. now and I had the privilege of meeting her the other day.

I was talking to her, and she's like, yeah, Emma, she's like in Nepal. They have nothing when there's so much joy. And she's like, come here and people have everything, but they're empty inside. And it's profound to hear that from her. So, yeah, so I think there's the community aspect and there's this gratitude aspect. And I think India and also in China, I saw this, they have this long tradition, millennia, of thinking about this inner sovereignty aspect. And here we're like, like you said, just.

buy this look like this do this whatever and then you'll be happy and it's like i was just actually touring some houses last week because i'm thinking i'm moving somewhere and i've walked through the houses these really nice houses and i was like wow everything is perfect like everything is decorated perfectly and i got me wondering like here we decorate our houses perfectly what about the inner what about the inner mansion what's that look like you know we don't we don't think about that we don't talk about wisdom in our society that's not something that's sexy it's like oh what but you know in other cultures that's always been part of the it's always been part of the conversation yeah i love that that's the name of your new book like your inner mansion

that's it no it's so true i mean it is so true i mean it's funny because you hear about it all the time i mean it's nothing new like you know money can't buy you happiness all of these things but when you're attaching sort of you know actual science to it um is what is what is what my mom was as achieved and has been trying to achieve for 20 years with children, especially, you know, it just, it validates it a little more because, you know, people are less apt to sort of, it's like, oh, what is this woo-woo crap, basically? But when you're like, no, look, look, here's a picture of your brain. And here's what happens when you have gratitude.

Here's what happens when you have self-compassion and you can forgive yourself. And you are creating that inner mansion, you know, here's an actual study. And then on the flip side of it, here's what happens to your brain when you self-loat and self-hate and you're just living in this state of negativity. And selfishness. And when you can see that scientifically, how can it not sort of bring on a change? And it feels like mindfulness, meditation, you know, it feels like there is a shift. Yeah. But there's 300 plus million people in this country.

So it's going to be hard to shift the whole country. But, you know, one at a time. we're getting fed these messages though this you like every marketing agent in the world who's directed at your segment of the population is hitting you home with like look like this buy this achieve this do this become wealthy become powerful become famous become whatever the things and it's like and so that that goes into the mindset but i was talking to the 17 year old the other day who's been meditating since he's eight wow said hey do you feel different from your from your friends and he's like it's like yeah you know i kind of see through stuff my friends

they want big car, big house. And I'm like, he's like, I'm just really interested in like science and like he's just interested in like he's curious, but he's like, he's like, I kind of see through things. And he wasn't, he was humble, quiet guy. He wasn't like showing off. But it was like, wow, if we can help people like your mom, like we can help kids see through all that, you know. Actually, in my, in my book, I interviewed a colonel in the Air Force whose job it was to brainwash

the enemy. Okay, so he was brainwasheding the town about through messaging and so forth. And so I said, whoa, like, how do you sort of walk around your world? You know, because you're someone who crafts messaging to manipulate people's minds. He's like, oh, I always look for intent. And I was like, well, how do you teach your kids that? And he's like, well, when we go through the grocery aisle and we get to that, like, if the kid wants something like, say unhealthy cereal, I'll be like, oh, why do you want that? And then the kid will be like, because look at the box is like so cute and stand all these little characters on it. And he's like, oh, yeah, why do you think that's like that? Oh, because it's fun. It makes me

fun. I want to play with the box. I want to look at it. And it's like, okay, so what do you think, why do you think they made a box like that? So kids would like it. You know, it's like training the kid to see through stuff. I thought that was pretty cool. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm in the middle of it. You know, again, we live in this TikTok culture where it is literally creating clones. I see my child on the street 80 times a day with the same hair and the pants and the whole thing. I'm like, holy shit. I mean, it's nutty. And then all the trends, all of a sudden, everyone wants Cologne. All of a sudden, everyone wants this. I mean, it's unbelievable to see how it happens in a large group setting. It's not an individual choice. It's just following these trends that

are being fed to you through social media. Yeah. And it's a little bit scary. You know, it's like, well, individuate yourself, you know, maybe get a different haircut. But it's like, dad, like, you don't get it. And then, again, it's about sort of, oh, I want to wear these clothes or, you know, it's a definite materialistic sort of world that we're living in right now. And it's, I always give them shit about it. But they're like, you don't get it, old man. I mean, they call me, you know what I mean?

And I'm like, oh, okay. It's the need to belong also. So we have a fundamental, after food and shelter, it's our greatest need. And of course, as teenagers, it's going to be very, very at the forefront, they need to belong. Yeah. But it's interesting because, so, you know, going back to what you were saying earlier about the research, so when you look at the brain, when you get something for yourself, it increases dopamine for a little bit, not for very long, but for a little bit. But when you're giving to others, it increase, it makes you happier. than when you receive, and it sustains the level of happiness.

So, you know, when we live a lifestyle, it's just all about me, myself, and I and, like, getting the big check, getting the whatever material, whatever things, that leads to these little bursts of dopamine, but they don't last. So we're on this treadmill, craving more, more, more, and it never satisfying. And yet, when you are engaged in compassionate activity or service activity or doing this thing for others, we all know what it feels like to feel the helpers high, you know, at some point. There's nothing better. And what the research shows is at the level of the brain, that is sustained well-being.

And those people live longer, have lower inflammation. Like, it's really amazing. Yes. I totally. Yeah. I mean, I volunteered the Children's Hospital for a few years. And I was heavily involved. And it was an incredible feeling, you know.

And it's something I need to get back to because we become so inundated in ourselves. How are we going to advance? But, you know, in a reasonable way, too. I think it's self-preservation. I need to provide for my family. I need to make sure that they have shelter and they have food and all the basics, you know. And, you know, you've created a certain lifestyle for yourself. You have to maintain that lifestyle, you know.

I do think that at times you forget to sort of put yourself in the give back mode, you know. Yeah. That balance is key. Yeah. It really is. It really is something that I need to work on, to be honest. Well, and if I can summarize the signs of happiness in one sentence, this is how I would summarize it. the happiest people who live the most fulfilled lives, but also the most healthiest, longest

lives are the ones who balance compassion for others with self-compassion. That balance is profound, you know, and one of my favorite research studies looked at people who had been really stressed, so who had gone through a very stressful life experience, like war or something like that. And those people usually live shorter lives because stress shortens your life. Yeah. especially a high intensity trauma like that. And yet my colleagues found this subgroup of people within this group that were like living

forever. It was like, why are these people living so long? It doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Turn out all those people in some way were engaged in compassionate, service-oriented activity. Wow. Didn't mean they were doing anything crazy, like traveling to Africa and feeding orphans. But, and that preserved their life and erased the effect of the trauma.

It's amazing. Yeah. That's the lesson here. Everyone go do something for somebody else. I mean, even if it's small, you know, it doesn't have to be this huge thing that's going to take all of your time. I mean, just even the small little things. We're coming to the end. This has been so much fun, but I definitely want to hit on intuition for a second.

Yeah. Because, you know, said it's, it feels magic, meaning I think people have stronger intuitions than others. I feel like I have a strong intuition, maybe reading somebody in the first few minutes of getting to know them and being correct. You know, I think that might, and this is my own self-analysis, but it might have to do with my own work and sort of my own psychology and wanting to learn about who I am, why I am, who I am, the human condition in general as related to me. Yeah. I feel like I have some insight just because of that. But when you talk about intuition, it's that feeling of who I have a feeling. That's right.

And I think you write that that's usually the right feeling or that first instinct is correct one. Am I right in saying that? So to answer, you know, all the things you said, first of all, some people are, research shows some people do tend to be more intuitive if they have this, if they tend to have more, what we call it, openness to experience. So given that you, what you've shared about you being naturally a very creative person and having this, that research shows you do have a propensity to being more. more intuitive. But everyone does have a certain level of intuition. And it can be fostered and nurtured through things like meditation, which you also do. But what neuroscience shows is that when you're making a decision that's complicated, going with your gut feeling is going to lead to a better decision than if you were to try and analyze all the pieces. Let's say, you know, your phone is

broken. Should you buy a new one? That's not a complicated decision, right? I mean, finances could be issue but like it's not a complicated decision there's a problem you got to fix it but let's say hey you got this job in another city you'll have to move schools you have to build a new house don't get into a new community it's going to impact your spouse's job like all this other stuff and you're weighing a lot of things then research shows that going with your gut feeling is going to tend to make the you're going to make a better decision um that's what yeah that's what the data shows and the military's actually been studying intuition for decades now and it was made fun of it in a movie called Men Who Stare at Goats.

I don't know if you heard of that movie. Yeah, yeah. But since then. George Colonial, yeah. Yeah, they've launched a new research study because so many veterans were coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq saying, yeah, I just had a feeling I shouldn't go down that road and like saved their lives with the lives of others. And, you know, it's something we've all experienced.

My friend Krishel was in the Twin Towers during 9-11. And the guards were saying, stay inside. and he had this instinct to run and he ran and he saved his life by a hair you know what we're trained out of it how many people also had that feeling but thought to stay because they wanted to obey orders you know yeah yeah we're taught just listen talk you know pay attention to the voices outside of you but we actually are wired physiologically with a cognitive ability that we're still you know in the we're still researching this idea of intuition but what it shows is that it's designed to save our life. Yeah, no, it's so interesting. I'm definitely want to go down that path a little bit more

once the research just becomes more available and more intuned and fine-tuned, you know, because intuition seems like can be clouded and muddied with fear as well. Oh, absolutely. You know, which is not a true intuition. So I can only say that because I had a fear of flying. I don't much anymore, but I had a real fear of flying. And it would be like, my intuition is telling me, don't get on the plane because it's going to fuck. and crash. And that's, of course, not true. But I'm almost creating an intuition rather than having an intuition, you know. Well, I love that. Again, you have like a real sign. You think really scientifically because that's it. We want to know like what's, what's real, what's not. And when we have

fear, yeah, I could be like, oh, no, my intuition says, don't go up on stage and talk in front of a million people. It's like, well, you're just afraid. But I'll give you one more example about how physiologically wired we are for it. So have you haven't been around someone where you just have a bad feeling, but you can't explain it and you just want back away? Yeah, totally. We have that all this time. So let me give you an example of what could be going on in this situation. In our society, we don't know what to do with our emotions. So most of us suppress them, right? That's kind of what we're told. If you're feeling angry, just mask it. Right. So let's say I were feeling angry right now. And I was like, no, I'm not angry. I'm just fine. Your heart rate

would increase your intellect will have not caught on he'll be like she's smiling she seems fine but your physiology has registered my physiology we do that very quickly it's it's um subconscious physiological resonance very very fast and what that registers is it registers this threat for you in your nervous system and i'll give you an example of why so have you heard of equine facilitated therapy yes yes i have so there's a therapist and who uses a horse with the patient. Yeah. So if,

let's say they're working with a kid with trauma and the kid comes up and they're like, I'm not scared that horse. I'm just fine. I'm not scared. But they're actually scared. The horse is moving all over the place, super anxious. And as soon as the child says,

I'm scared, the horse calms down. Why? The horse doesn't understand English. But the horse being an animal of prey is hyper aware of this physiological resonance. And it registers inauthenticity as threat. Of course, because you don't know what could be coming. at you and we do the same thing we do it so it's literally physiological um that we can sometimes register what's going on and we register it as threat but our intellect is so far behind and much

slower at processing this kind of thing so it's just another way that we um that our intuition kicks in it's almost an instinct so there's different forms of of intuition that you can think about amazing well this has been amazingly insightful and so fun and why don't you tell us name of the new book again because the whole title I didn't yeah it's it there's a there's it's it's it's a there's it's it's a it's a lot it's sovereignty and then bang so go ahead give the title it's called sovereign reclaim your freedom energy and power in a time of distraction uncertainty and chaos and it's a must read honestly it's uh retaining that power it's so important that's that's self-love too you know it all leads to good things yeah um well thank you and i appreciate the time

This was so fun, Oliver. Yeah, it was a blast. This was awesome. I'm glad this all went down. Yeah. I can't wait to read the book. I mean, candidly, I haven't read the book yet. So this is definitely what I'm going to read right now.

So I hadn't read James's either. And he is in my ears now all the time because I'm listening to it. And then you're next up for sure. I cannot wait. Awesome. Yay. Yeah. Yeah, let me know what you think.

I will. I will. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yes, my pleasure. Thank you. All right. Wow.

It's like I'm just educating myself. I feel like this podcast is more for me than it is for anyone who's listening. Maybe I'll just dedicate my guests to self-realization. So it has nothing to do with what you, the listeners, want. It has to do with me and what I need. That's going to be the new theme of this podcast. sibling revelry, but it's more of just Oliver Hudson's psychosis. Maybe we'll change the name to OHP, Oliver Hudson's psychosis.

Anyway, that was awesome. You should get that book. You should. I'm going to get it. I think it's going to be pretty rad. There's so many things that we can do just to be happier. You know what I mean? There's no doubt that we're fucked up and we've got all kinds of shit going on in our lives

and you wake up and it's like, oh my God, bills and kids and this and stresses and it's just normal across the board. But I think there's definitely a real way, a spiritual and scientific way to regulate and to actually just live each day a little happier. I mean, even if it's 1% it's still just still 1% more. And I'm going to do that today. I'm going to try to do my best. I love y'all and I'll talk to you soon hey you know what

give me a call shoot me at the end I'm out Hey it's your favorite Hey Hey it's your favorite Jersey girl

Gia Judeice Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent.

This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of Family Secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe saved my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money?

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That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it.

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