Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: Mindful Manifesting with Dr. Doty

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Oliver is joined by Neuroscientist, Dr. James Doty. The renowned researcher, best-selling author, and master meditator spotlights the practice of manifestation.Have we been doing it wrong all along?��See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.

This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but Native Culture is alive.

My name is Nicole Garcia, and on Burn Sage, Burn Bridges, we aim to explore that culture. Somewhere along the way, it turned into this full-fledged award-winning comic shop. That's Dr. Lee Francis IV, who opened the first Native comic bookshop. Explore his story along with many other Native stories on the show, Burn Sage, Burn Bridges. Listen to Burn Sage Burn Bridges on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech and culture podcast, there are no girls on the internet. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Anil Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet.

I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people as the core. building blocks of the internet. Listen to there are no girls on the internet on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Sibling rivalry. Don't do that with your mouth.

Sibling, revelry. That's good. So Oliver Hudson here, and I'm just going to get, I'm not getting it into my life. You know, usually I'll do a little intro and get into my life, whatever. But I'm very excited to get to the guest that's in the waiting room right now. and this person is James Doty, he's a neuroscientist, he's a Stanford, is extremely smart, but he's getting into this world, talking about this world of manifestation. And he's just written a book that we're going to talk about as well.

Manifesting has been something that is definitely hot right now. You know what I mean? Like everyone's like, oh, you need to manifest this. and my wife has a friend who lives across the street, like one of her best friend. And she's always manifesting things. And we were skiing, you know, in Utah. And it snowed like 24 inches.

And she goes, see, like, I manifested this. I'm like, I mean, come on. I mean, you can't manifest the snow. You know, so I'm excited to talk to James to get into sort of the neuroscience behind it and really what it means. you know what I mean like it's not even though this book has the word magic in it it seems like there's a magical element but you are creating this magic like this is about your drive you know it's about the power of sort of positive thinking and putting yourself in the right mind space

to then accomplish the things that you want to accomplish anyway you there buddy I'm here man how are you just fucking peachy how about Good. I'm fucking pretty peachy too. You know, I, uh, my mom called me. And of course, you always got to take mom's calls. Yep. I told her I was talking to you. You know, she has a foundation called Mind Up that she has been, you know, doing for 20 plus years. I'm very familiar. Very familiar. Oh, great. So she was, I said, you just come on the show with me right now and talk to James. But she wants to connect. So once we finish, I would love to give you her information because. She would love to have conversations with you.

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. Our pass have crossed innumerable times. Although we've never met, I don't think. And because I've been in the meditation, compassion space for, well, a few decades myself. And, yeah, so I've been in innumerable events where work she's been doing has been highlighted or she's been there. But, you know, the fates have never allowed that to happen. And, uh, uh, well, now it has. Yeah. So that's, that's wonderful. I appreciate that. Yeah. She has been sort of in the world of manifestation. I mean, for a million years. I mean, this is she, she operates and lives this way, you know. Um, and to get into all of this, you know, I was even saying it sort of when I was in my intro, it feels like this idea of be of manifesting is, is sort of buzzy right now. Everyone's talking about it. You know, my wife's friend, I was just saying this that, She manifested 24 inches of powder in Utah.

You know, I'm like, well, Sam, I mean, it fucking snowed, all right? Like, you didn't create the snow. What are you talking about right now? You know, the problem with this is that what do they do when it doesn't happen, right? They go, they never talk about when it didn't happen. They only talk about, oh, see, I manifested this. But what can you say? No, but like, let's get into the science behind it because.

You know, just to, I'm a, I'm a very open person. I consider myself a spiritual person. I don't believe in God necessarily. I believe in higher energies. I believe that we can actually, scientifically know that we can sort of change our neuropathways. You know, I've been a meditator for a while, but I wish I was more consistent because I know how it makes me feel when I am consistent. and it's beautiful, you know. But at the same time, I'm a practical person as well.

You know, so the power of positive thinking. It's like, oh, if you think positive things will happen. And my argument to that is there's 8 billion people on this earth. You know how many people are thinking positively that it's just not going well? You know how many people are trying to manifest something and it just isn't happening? So I become a skeptic when we talk about that, you know, but I know that the power of positive thinking will put you into a place, a state where you feel good. And when you feel good, you're able to accomplish more and life gets better just generally, you know, but not necessarily it's going to happen. I'm going to think I want to, I need a job, I need to get an acting gig.

And if I think hard enough and I'm more and I manifested and I'm positive and it's just going to show up. You know, so how do you speak to that in my research? It's more about the science behind it than it is about the magic, even though magic is in your book title. Sure, sure. Well, I think there are several aspects of this that need to sort of be unpacked. You know, you look at books like The Secret, which promoted this narrative of I want. And the problem with I want is this sort of leads one down the wrong path. And what I mean by that is that people want out of a sense of scarcity.

And as an example, if you ask high school students what they want to be, what do they say? They want to be an influencer. They want to be a millionaire or wealthy. They want to be a celebrity or they want to be a professional athlete. Those are the main ones. And this is part of the problem. is when this idea of I want comes from a feeling you're not good enough as you are. And in fact, on some level, it stimulates what you call your sympathetic nervous system.

This is the fly fighter fear response because you're afraid because you're not good enough. So you have to have these things to prop yourself up. And the problem with the Western capitalist narrative is that success equals happiness, Success translates into many power and position. And sadly, so many people have bought into this narrative. And, of course, the secret took advantage of that. And don't get me wrong, it's not just the secret. It's the whole law of attraction narrative.

And the problem oftentimes is that the reason it didn't happen is you didn't really try hard enough. And this lays a guilt trip on you. As you pointed out, I mean, there are 8 billion people in the world, and many people are trying to manifest or have things positive happen to them, and it just doesn't happen. And this is one of the other problems is that people somehow believe, one, I just say I wanted it and it should happen. Two, I don't have to work for it.

Three, I deserve it. Four, it needs to happen on my timeline. And five, it needs to happen the way I want it to happen. And fundamentally, it just doesn't work that way. but how do you actually manifest? First off, you have to understand the difference between what you want and what you need. And what I mean by that is, especially if you're younger, and in my first book, which was called Into the Magic Shop, I'm not sure if you've had a chance to look at it, but it's a memoir that combines neuroscience and meditative practice. But when I was 12, I walked into a magic shop filled with despair and hopelessness because my own background of growing up with an alcoholic father living in poverty, a mother had a stroke, and ended up being paralyzed, chronically depressed, attempted suicide, which of course is not the ideal environment if you wish to succeed in life.

But what changed me or saved me, if you will, was I walked into a magic shop and met a woman who knew nothing. about magic. She was the owner's mother, but she had this radiant presence about her. And the reason I mentioned that is she made me feel okay talking to her. She made me feel comfortable. She created what we call this environment of psychological safety. And as a result, I opened up and I answered her questions honestly. And after about six to, or about 20 to 30 minutes, she said to me, she said, you know, I really like you. I'm here for another six weeks. If you show up every day, I think I can teach you something that could really help you. And at that point in time, she taught me a meditation practice. How old were you? Well, and believe me, I had no self-awareness at all. And the reason I

showed up was because, frankly, I had absolutely nothing else to do, and she was giving me chocolate chip cookies. So those were the motivators. But I did show up, and she taught me, and this was before we talked about meditation or mindfulness or neuroplasticity and our modern lexicon, if you will. But she did teach me these techniques. And one of those, of course, was a manifestation technique. So she taught me a meditation practice first. And as you can imagine, when you grow up in the environment I grew up in, it's like being in a constant war zone. You never know what's going to happen.

It's chaotic. It's unpredictable. and things can go from perfect to horrible in a microsecond. So as a result, your muscles are always tense because you never know it's going to happen. So she taught me the technique of relaxing the body or doing a body survey, followed by being able to focus, in this case, on a candle to, because you cannot be present if you can't focus. So she taught me the ability to focus, and then she taught me that the negative dialogue

going on in my head was not truth. And this is a problem for a lot of people. Now, this is not to say you get rid of that immediately with different techniques. It takes work, and frankly, it never goes away. But you can quench it and control it with positive affirmations. And the reason I say that is oftentimes when we beat ourselves up, that results in us looking at the world through a negative lens and we become hypercritical of every without realizing, and you pointed out, you know, there are 8 billion people around, and

many of them are suffering. And so it changed my perspective on how I looked at the world once I was kind of myself. But what I tell people has also changed how the world connected with me, because once you don't carry that anger and hostility around with you, you're much more open to connect with people. Plus, it also allowed me to forgive my parents who I had a lot of anger and hostility towards because I felt they had failed me. But they did not have the tools to deal with their own problems. But subsequently, she taught me a visualization technique.

And this required repetition of my intention by writing it down, reading it silently, reading it aloud. visualizing it. And these are standard techniques with manifestation. And that helped me. In fact, she had me make a list of 10 goals that I had. But again, I looked at it through the lens of a 12-year-old who was poor, who fell into the narrative of what success is. So I wanted a mansion.

I wanted a million dollars. I wanted to be a doctor so I could impress people. I wanted a Porsche. I wanted a Rolex. and I got all of those things. I know exactly. I was just thinking that. Yeah, so every one of them.

But the problem was, I kept climbing these mountains, waiting for this external affirmation, which I got, but it never filled the emptiness that I had inside or dealt with the insecurity or the shame that I carried with me.

and so it didn't work. And it only, I only sort of reflected on the whole process after I lost $80 million in six weeks, which does get your attention. What? Yes, yeah. Well, this was during the dot-com period, and I had made some significant bets. And so after six weeks, I was bankrupt. I was minus $3 million in the whole. And so I went back.

to reflect on what had happened because nominally I did everything, but what I didn't really pay attention to, and I was too young to pay attention to, was the purpose of manifesting I was confused about. And what I mean by that is that when you look at the world through I want, and I mentioned you, this activates actually your sympathetic nervous system. It actually has a negative effect on your physiology, both brain and peripheral physiology. And in some ways, it relates to the difference between what we call hedonic happiness and utamanic happiness. And what I mean by that is hedonic happiness or hedonism is your chase pleasure, you avoid pain, and frequently it relates to things. You're looking at the world to, I want this, I deserve that, I should have that.

And if I just have this, it'll make me okay and feel okay. And it does do that, very short term, very shallowly, and not particularly long-lasting. But you contrast this with utomonic happiness, which is an understanding that your purpose in this world is to be of service to care for others. And that's when your physiology actually works its best. That's when these cognitive brain networks work their best. That's when your peripheral physiology works its best. And this is when you engage your parasympathetic nervous system. So what's the difference?

And why is it important? Well, first of all, if you start looking at the world through the lens of being of service and caring for others, it actually changes what you want. It changes what you think is important to understand what's really important. Because when you're of service to others, when you look through that lens, ultimately you'll get everything you want, if that's what you really want. And I'm sure you've had people say to you, God, I really wanted this. And either they'll say, God, I got it.

And there was nothing there for me. Or they'll say, I didn't get it. And I'm sure glad I didn't get it, right? Because it wasn't the right time. It wasn't the right place. And it was the wrong thing. So what happens if you, and this is what meditation does, right? It shifts you.

And unfortunately, in the modern world, so many of us are sympathetic nervous systems are activated or activated because we were never meant to live in this type of a world. We were meant to live with engagement of our parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system was only when our life was in threat. But the nature of modern society where you're required to have a job, you have to feed a family, you have all these pressures on you for many people chronically activate it, and frankly is one of the biggest sources of stress and anxiety in this world. 100%.

I mean, I live with that every day, you know, and trying to find the joy. I mean, I'm a joyous person just generally, you know, but I mean, when you start to think about providing money, finances, this, this, and that, I mean, it can take me into a fucking hole. Well, of course, yeah, it would take anybody. And so the problem is that so many live in that state. And they get lost in this. Well, I really need this.

I need this. And when you start looking through a different lens, first of all, you realize many of the things you think you need, you don't. And the things that actually make you happy are far different than what you thought. And so there are these different cognitive brain networks that need to work in unison. And they only, I shouldn't say they only work, they work their best if you're in the right mental state. And this has been able to shift over to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season.

It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro,

tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because

they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it and in fact it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez. And in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a

relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen.

Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomper podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I had this, like, overwhelming sensation that I had to call it right then. And I just hit call, said, you know, hey, I'm Jacob Schick. I'm the CEO of One Tribe Foundation, and I just wanted to call on and let her know. There's a lot of people battling some of the very same things you're battling.

And there is help out there. The Good Stuff Podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a nonprofit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Preventing. mention month. So join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of one tribe's mission. I was married to a combat army veteran and he actually took his own life to suicide. One tribe saved my life twice. There's a lot of love that flows through this place and it's sincere. Now it's a personal mission. I don't have to go to any more funerals, you know.

I got blown up on a React mission. I ended up having amputation below the knee of my right leg and a traumatic brain injury because I landed on my head. Welcome to Season 2 of the Good stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How do you get into that mental state in order for them to work their best? Is that through meditation? Well, that's certainly a way that many people can get through. But, you know, people oftentimes get all this angst about meditation, right? Because they always think of a monk in his legs are crossed and he's sitting like this and I'm going, fuck, I can't do that.

And you don't need to do any of that. It has to do with the right mental attitude and putting yourself in a position where you're receptive and you can lay down, you can stand, you can sit, as long as you're comfortable, as long as it's quiet and your attention is directed. And it starts simply through a breathing exercise. But again, so many people get so tense about thinking their metadata. meditating. Mm-hmm.

So just called down. Well, that's the hardest part about meditating, you know. I mean, is, am I meditating? Am I doing it right? I hate this. Is this working? I mean, for me specifically, you know, the lists that I create throughout for the day to sort of accomplish.

And they, they consist of, you know, practical work things. And then more physical, spiritual, health-related, working out all those things. The hardest thing for me to do is to sit for 10 minutes. And I mean, even to not to actually do it when I'm in the room, but to just get to the room, I procrastinate on my meditation more than anything else in my life. And I can't even put my fingers on, I don't even know why. I'm just like, this is not difficult. Just go sit there. Go do it. Well, I appreciate that. But, you know, sometimes just taking a walk in nature.

Again, once you get into your head, you're meditating. You obviously have some sort of block there. But it's not even that. Take the time to simply go for a walk and be with your thoughts, be relaxed, and just breathe. And that will get you there. You don't need all of

this other stuff that is so distracting, especially for type A people. You know, they think there's absolutely a right way and that there's somebody outside themselves who is judging them and going to criticize them. Right, exactly.

I mean, frankly, nobody gets a fuck. Yeah, yeah, it's true. You have your own path on how to get there. Yeah, I mean, there's an example of that I did this, I went to the Hoffman Institute. Do you know what that is? Okay, so it was really an amazing experience for me, and I've talked about it a million times on this podcast.

And then you talk about giving back and what that means and how that, feels um and this is just one avenue of that for me and it's just sort of a byproduct because i talk about it all the time i'm i'm very open and and you know at the end of hoffman you have to write a letter to the person who inspired you to go there and i have hundreds of them just from talking on podcasts or in the press or whatever every time i get a letter i get emotional because these people are are expressing how listening to me and my experience made them go there and how it's changed the way that they think. And it's just the most gratifying feeling that I can get, honestly.

So I understand what that feels like. Moving to what I was my point, doing it your own way. There's a process, an exercise where you have to sort of beat a pillow, let's just say, and the pillow is your mom or whatever it is. And people are raging all over the room. And I'm faking it. And I'm like, what are you doing? I feel uncomfortable doing this. I feel like I'm being judged. I feel people are looking at me and laughing at me, even though everyone is doing it.

So I went into a bore of a meditative place and did it my own way, you know? And it was gratifying to be able to do it my own way. I got to the same place that everyone was getting to, but I had to sort of take a different path to get there. Well, and I think that's the exact point here. And it worked for you. And you didn't have all the angst about

doing it their way. And I think that's really the point here. So once you're able to get into that state, then your cognitive brain networks work their best. And what I mean by that, they're basically four areas primarily that are involved in manifestation. And one is something called the default mode network. And this is that part of your brain that is associated with daydreaming or mind wondering. But it's very self-referential. And it's how you paint pictures of who you are, who you wish to be. And once you've painted that picture, then it has to stimulate or activate

what we call the salience network. It has to be salient to the brain. And this is on a subconscious level. And so once you've defined an intention as salient, then what the salience network does is it activates what we call your attention network. So it directs like a laser your attention on accomplishing that task. And then the next step is that once those are activated on a subconscious level,

then this results in what we call your executive control network to be activated. And this is what's associated, and I call it the CEO of the brain, if you will. This is in your frontal areas. This gives you access to experience, memories, and making discerning decisions about what's going to happen. And the reason I say this has to get into your subconscious is that what the subconscious wants, the conscious finds. And what I mean by that is that there's a process of something called value tagging.

And what people don't realize is you have about 10 million bits of information going into your brain every second from all your sensory organs. But you're able to process only 50 to 100 on a conscious level. So what your information that you have the ability to impact is very small compared to all that other information, much of which goes to what we call maintaining homeostasis of bodily functions. But that's at a unconscious level. But once you value tag something, then it becomes salient ultimately. And then you're focused on that. And when I say focused on that, that's at a subconscious level.

It's not at the level of consciousness. And this is as an example, like, I'm sure you've been at a party, maybe the party you were at the other night, and it's very loud. Yet if somebody says your name, you immediately turn to it. And why is that? Your identity is deeply embedded in you. And your mind on a subconscious level is always attuned to things related to you. And this is very similar to manifesting. Once you're able to embed an intention, your subconscious is always on the lookout for

opportunities for that to manifest. And what do I mean by that? One example is, let's say, I'm a neurosurgeon, as you probably know, and I see a patient, and I say, you know, you have a benign brain tumor. It's called them an enceoma, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they'll say, oh, my God, I've never heard of that before. yet two months later I'll see them go the most amazing thing I've run into five people who have the exact same thing I do. Why is that? Because that suddenly got deeply embedded and their subconscious was on the alert for situations, opportunities, people who have the same condition or somehow relate. And I'll give you another example. I was at a coffee shop a few months ago and there's a project that I'm working on, which is fairly, frankly, esoteric. and it was really noisy.

Yet, out of the den of all of that noise, I heard somebody say a couple words that very much relate to what this project is about. So I went over, introduced myself, and now we're working on the project together. Wow. That's how it works. Your subconscious is always looking for opportunities

to create, if you want to call them, coincidences or synchronicities. That's what I was getting at. How do you square sort of the magic of that? Because I always ask, is it a coincidence or are we just, or is our subconscious now sort of taking over, you know, or is there something magical out there? Well, you could call how your subconscious works magical if you want.

But as I say in the first sense of the book, the universe doesn't give a fuck about you. There is no magic outside of yourself. You know, I was talking to John Hamm a little while, ago. I know John's a friend of mine. Yeah, he's a good guy. But he was saying, he said, and he was quoting from something from Madman, he said,

at best the universe is indifferent. He used that as an endorsement for my book, actually. Yeah. So the point is that when you have these, the physiology aligns where your brain works at its best, it creates these opportunities. But there are several aspects, which I should probably. point out, one is all of us from our childhoods carry baggage. Some of it's wonderful. Some of it's pretty horrible. What people don't appreciate is, and this is the question of what are you already

manifesting. If you carry baggage with you, which you don't appreciate, impacts every interaction you have with another person, every decision you make, I'm sure you've been in those situations where somebody will sit there and say, I don't understand it. You know, I'm going through my third divorce and I pick the exact same person every time I got married, right? Well, why is that? It's because you're carrying baggage, which is making these decisions for you, and you've never stopped to reflect on one, what is it that you've been manifesting already? So that's one point. So subconsciously manifesting, even though it all exists in your subconscious, even consciously, I mean, are you manifesting every day subconsciously?

Yeah, absolutely. Now, most people do it inefficiently. It's like, I'm not sure if you're an athlete or a marathon runner. No, I mean, I'm athletic for sure about I don't run marathons. The point of that, though, is that all of us start at zero. We don't start at the Olympic level, right? Now, of course, oftentimes people read these books and they go, I'm going to read the book and I'm going to be an Olympia tomorrow.

It doesn't work that way. And so, one, you have to figure out where you've been and get some insight into that. You have to understand all of us manifest, try to manifest every day, but it's usually a statement like, oh, I'd really like that, and that's it, right? There's no, there's no systematic way to do it. Then the other thing is people get confused because they somehow think it works on their timeline, right? Like, well, that should have happened tomorrow.

It can't happen two weeks from now. The third thing is that people have a tendency to say, well, I want it to happen exactly this way. It doesn't work that way either. Neither works on a timeline or you don't get exactly what you want. And sometimes the reason you don't get exactly what you want is because your subconscious has also processed the fact that some of these things are not necessarily good for you. like oh geez i saw this hot blonde in the bar i know you know we're going to make a perfect couple you know when she's a psychopath so essentially is your subconscious sort of your

chaperone uh in some ways it's like looking after you yeah it's protecting you i think in some ways and uh um so you have to become friends with that and again like i said uh you have to have to have clarity of what you really want versus what you think you need, which is I gave you the example of myself. I got every one of the things I wanted. And, you know, it's funny because, as I said, I kept waiting for this external affirmation. And I had all these buddies of mine going, wow, Jim, God, that's cool, man. You know, I had this mansion overlooking Newport Beach. I had a penthouse in San Francisco. I had a Ferrari, a Porsche, BMW, a range rover, Mercedes in the garage. I was flying in private jets. I was meeting all these cool people. And they kept telling me how great my life was

and I was never more miserable in my entire life. Really? Absolutely. Why? Because I kept searching for something to fill up this void that it could never fill it up enough. All the things in the world could not fill up this emptiness that I had inside of myself. And this was accepting myself and loving myself. You see, I was looking outside of myself to find the affirmation that would say, I'm okay. I deserve to be loved. And what the reality is, only you can give yourself that gift. Nothing else is going to give it. All the stuff in the world is not going to give it. And if that is what you were seeking, you're never going to be happy. And as I was saying earlier, so I ended up losing $80 million. And I had actually, at that time, if you had a company

that had gone public during the dot-com, you could borrow a quarter of that amount of your wealth through the bank, which I had done to buy all of these things. And so when that happened, two people became my best friends, my banker, who called me because he wanted his money and he knew I didn't have it, and my lawyer.

And what happened ultimately was, which gave me great insight, is so once I lost everything, I went back to my house in Newport Beach, which had been sitting empty for some time, and I had gone through a divorce a year or so before, and I went through a period of reflection, and I said, what the fuck happened to be? How did I get lost here? I kept chasing these things. I got all of these things, but why was I so unhappy? And now, I've lost everything. And so during the same time, my lawyer also got a hold of me because I had to do all sorts of reshuffling of things. things. And I had set up a variety of trust, and one was an irrevocable charitable trust. And I had put a bunch of stock in a company that I had run into it that had not gone public. And he called me and he said, look, Jim, it turns out, and they had a junior partner who was supposed to fill out the paperwork. He'd never actually filed the paperwork. And they said, you know, if you want, you could just keep all that stock. You don't have to give it away. and I really

mulled over this for a long time and I realized that one of the monkeys on my back was poverty that was always the driver poverty equals insecurity equals fear and I never sensed I had enough

so after this period of reflection I told the attorney go ahead and still give it all to charity and that ended up being $30 million. Wow. But, you know, I set up charities throughout the world, homeless shelters, blood banks, I developed programs for the disabled. Through this 30, you think through that 30 million.

Yep, yep, yep. But the other thing that happened is here I had this trajectory where I went from rags, if you will, to riches, literally, and then to rags again. Now, I preface that by saying, when I say I went to rags again, I was always still a neurosurgeon getting paid more than 99.9% of people. So I was not starving, right? But what happened was, though, by giving that money away, it changed how I looked at the world.

I did look at the world, not from, I'm a doctor, I'm so great, but I'm a doctor, how can I help people? But what I realized, though, was that I actually became extraordinarily wealthy, but in a different way. It wasn't through riches. It was, I set up the center at Stanford where we study the neuroscience of compassion and empathy. We develop programs that have helped millions of people around the world. The Dalai Lama was the founding benefactor. I ended up becoming the chairman of the Dalai Lama Foundation.

Through that, I ended up probably meeting some of the great. greatest spiritual and religious leaders in the world who've become my friends. As an example, Rodhanaswami, who I was just with last night, he's the head of Ishkan, Shri-Shrie Ravishankar, Sad Guru, Amma, the Hugging Saint. My Boston, my brother, is with her all the time. Oh, really? Yeah, all the time. Like, they hang out, and he's with her all the time. Well, she's a dear friend of mine.

But Eckhart Tolle, Byron, Katie, all of these folks are dear friends. And I've learned so much from them just being in their presence. And this is the thing. So I have nothing to complain about, but my life is directed to seeing how I can be of service to others. And this is not an anti-materialism lecture here. Because, listen, I live very, very well. I have a very nice house. I drive a Porsche.

And I enjoy it. But the difference is, though, and this is an important difference, if all of that was taken away from me tomorrow, the house, the cars, all the wonderful benefits I have, my mental attitude will not change one iota. They're things. They're good to use. I enjoy them when I have. I share them with people if I can.

But if they're gone, it's okay. The most important thing is how can I live a life of being of someone? service to others. And if you focus on that, all the other stuff will happen to you. It's not about you. And I think that's the important message I hope of this book. And that's the important message of if you wish to manifest, quote unquote, maximally to get the best benefit out of it, it has to be through that path. Yes, you can go the other way. It can all be about you. You can get all of these things. But frankly, that's a dead end path. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects,

or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm character and a little local flavor. If you're You're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

I had this like overwhelming sensation that I had to call it right then. And I just hit call, said, you know, hey, I'm Jacob Schick. I'm the CEO of One Tribe Foundation, and I just wanted to call on and let her know. There's a lot of people battling some of the very same things you're battling. And there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a nonprofit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month,

so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. I was married to a combat army veteran. and he actually took his own life to suicide. One tribe saved my life twice. There's a lot of love that flows through this place and it's sincere. Now it's a personal mission. Don't want to have to go to any more funerals, you know. I got blown up on a React mission.

I ended up having amputation below the knee of my right leg and a traumatic brain injury because I landed on my head. Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jenica Lopez. And in the new season of the Overcomfit podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship?

Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. Happened in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen.

Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcumper podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The Deva of the People. The Deva of the People. I'm just like, text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart rates, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets.

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I always see. say, though, you know, to my mom, oh, you know, the sort of cliche, oh, money's not going to bring you happiness, you know, money can't buy you happiness. But then I say, well, I'm happy. You know what I mean? I got an amazing wife and three kids. And I said, but now just back up the fucking brink truck. And then life will be even better because my, you know, again, I'm doing fine, But my struggles come from my finances. You know, I have afforded myself a nice life as an actor, but, you know, that goes away quickly.

You're making a lot of money and you're making zero dollars. And sometimes when those, that zero dollar plays out for a year and a half, you start to get a little nutty, you know? And, you know, it's about, again, for me, personally, relating all this back to my situation. It's trying to stay positive, trying to sort of. of, you know, I guess call it manifestation, but just sort of waking up every day and saying, hey, it's going to be a good day. That's it. I'm going to have a good day. You know, sun is shining. I'm with my kids. Life is good. I'll figure it out. I'll fucking figure it out. You know, but then that can get the best of you, no doubt. No, absolutely. And this is why

I suggest for some people that they change how they're thinking of stuff. And in the book, I give several examples. But as an example, I had a young lady who, she wanted to become a doctor and she reached out to me and you know that my first book was really not only about my own struggles and the trajectory of my life but the challenges I had getting into medical school because I was always called out from college to deal with family situations my great point average was 2.53 when the average to get into med school was 3.79 and and what often It happens, of course, in those cases, people who, quote, unquote, are your friends will tell you how you're never going to get into medical school.

And fortunately, I didn't listen to any of them. So I talked about that struggle, but this young lady reached out to me, and she's from Sri Lanka, and she was saying, you know, I wanted to be a doctor, and I've now been rejected three times, and I went through this with her, and the reason she wanted to be a doctor was to make her parents proud in the sense that they had left Sri Lanka to come to the US. And even though they were middle class in Sri Lanka, they were very poor in the U.S. She struggled. She worked really hard to get into a nice college. But all of her struggles were filled with anxiety because she was living to fulfill her parents' expectation. And we had a long talk. And I went over a lot of

these things with her. And I said, the difference is it's not about you or your parents. It's why do you want to be a doctor? You want to be a doctor to be of service to help people. You have to change how you're looking through that lens. And you could even use in the context of an actor, right? I need a job is different from saying, I want to be engaged in a project that is life affirming and that helps other people.

Those are completely two different dynamics. One is self-oriented, the other is outside of yourself. Are in it. Do people trick themselves, though? Meaning, oh, I want a job because I need money. But I'm just going to say to the universe, again, the universe doesn't give a fuck, as we know. But, you know, I'm just going to say, I'm going to couch it in this idea for other people. But really, deep down, I know why I want this job.

Well, you can't fool yourself, right, at the end of the day. Actually, there's a research project that was done, which you'd probably be interested. It was talking about volunteering, right? and the point of this was the value of volunteerism. So it followed a group of people over the age of 65 for I think a couple of years. And they volunteered a minimum number

of hours a week. And at the end of it, the study, the people who volunteered compared to those who did not actually doubled their longevity. Doubled it almost, okay, which is huge, right? But there were some exceptions.

And the exceptions were the people who were like you were saying. They were doing it to impress people or they wanted to get an award. It didn't work for them. Yeah. Okay? Because you know the difference between what your end game is. Now, that's not to sit there and say, well, I get nothing out of it. There's nothing wrong with getting something out of it. But the focus fundamentally has to be, I am doing something to benefit others. And if you look at it through that lens, the likelihood of it happening is much, much higher than the other way. Now, you could look at me and say, Jim, you're full of shit. And that's certainly possible. But at least in my review of the science and looking through all of the

literature, that seems to be the greatest way that one can not only benefit themselves, but benefit others. You know, the Dalai Lama says, if you want to make others happy, be compassionate. If you wish to be happy, be compassionate. Yeah. Oh, man. I know that. If we need to get into a subconscious, right? You sort of gave the example of the benign brain tumor. And it's almost like, it's almost like shock memory, you know, that flashbulb type of memory where it's boom and it's going to stick in there. So how do you and how long does it take? I know there's an impossible answer, but how do you put something into your subconscious. I mean, it almost seems

counterintuitive. Like, oh, I want this to be in my subconscious, so then I'm constantly working on it without even knowing it. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what we talk about in the book. And there's actually six steps that are fairly well defined. That

include a meditative practice. But again, like I said, it's using some of the same techniques. One is using your sensors to because there's a term that says, what fires together, wires together, right? This is how you develop neuropathways.

It involves repetition. It involves practice. So again, using your sensory organs to stimulate the nervous system, write everything down, right? Look at it, read it silently, read it aloud, sit in silence and visualize that manifesting. And those, strengthen those neuro pathways to further embed it. it into your subconscious mind. As you said, you can have the shock therapy, which, as an example, telling somebody they have a brain tumor and it's a meningioma is a form of shock therapy that gets blasted in.

It's just like your identity as who you are, is deeply embedded in your subconscious. And so when you're able to embed it there, where it gets salience, and this is through this technique of value tagging, then that's what you do. Explain value tagging quickly. How does that work? taking your intention and creating a value so that it sticks into your subconscious. So if my intention is, okay, you know, if my intention is to sort of get a great part, you know, or as an actor, sort of be and do something that I really care about, you know.

So how would I create a value tag around that concept or that, you know, manifestation? Yeah. So, again, whether you're walking in nature, what? it is that you're using, you get yourself into the mindset and you say, I wish to be in a part or have a part in a movie or whatever it is, in which my character is doing something that is of service to a greater cause, right? It's not, I need a part this week to pay the bills so I can pay the mortgage payment and the car payment. And again, those are two completely different ways to look at it.

Now, Liz, I certainly appreciate you may need to make the mortgage and the car payment, but I'm just saying that the strength of this is changing the narrative to not one of self-service, but of overall service, where you're doing something that benefits others, but you ultimately get the benefit yourself, which is that quote I just mentioned, about the Dalai Lama. Mm-hmm. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school,

new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable.

somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready.

Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season.

Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here. Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new Super Secret Bestie is The Diva of the People. The Diva of the People. I'm just like text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. We're in the head. That's us. My name is Curley.

And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Thura podcast network available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you guys. your podcast. Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez and in the new season

of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because

of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Well, I have freaking hard and growth doesn't happen in comfort it happened in motion even when you're hurting all from one of my favorite spaces the kitchen honestly these are going to come out so freaking amazing be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the overcomper podcast as part of the my culture podcast network

on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast to listen to a condescending finance bro. Tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates,

I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months, you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. that's interesting because as I said before can you trick yourself or and obviously you cannot I mean it seems redundant I don't know how you're going to trick yourself but you know right now if you are in need of money to pay that mortgage but we know that that's not the way to go about manifesting because it is not of service but now we're going to create that narrative well but then you can also change it to say I am trying to create an environment where my children will

thrive. It requires me to be in a house and I need the money so that I can create that environment for my children. Love that. That is my truth. I mean, you know, I don't want money so I can fly in private planes and be on

yachts. It's just about creating a comfortable sort of lifestyle, you know, for my own health even my own stress my stress markers you know no no so but you see how you change how you think and that change because so many people think i have to have this for x which is typically you you know i need to drive my portion around so people see me my portion think i'm successful right right no yeah i used to think that though i was as vain and a jackass as anybody come on When did that shift for you?

When I lost $80 million. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't an asshole, but I was always nice, but it was more about me. You know, like I, and I'm sure you've experienced this, you know, there used to be, I used to live in Newport Beach, right? Yeah. There used to be a very popular restaurant and I used to drive a yellow Ferrari, you know, and I'd pull up in front, you know, and I knew everybody and I would just leave my car there. and there was a line a mile long and I would just walk in the front and there was my own table there and, you know, it feels good. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm just fascinated with just, if I could talk to you for hours like this is such, I need to like, I needed to be my spiritual manifestation mentor, you know, I mean, I'm a very practical person, but these are the things that you said something and I got the chills and, you know, got a bit of emotional. I'm a very emotional person just generally. you know, I cry very easily. I feel things sometimes like, what is wrong with you? Why are you feeling these feelings right now, you know?

But you said that you just have this overwhelming feeling that it's all going to, it's all going to turn out. It's all going to happen for you. And I have that. And I don't even know where it comes from, but I just, I have that. And sometimes I think it makes me lazy, to be honest, you know, because I'm like, oh, it's going to work out. I know it's going to work out.

And then I don't put the work in. You know what I mean? Well, that can be a challenge too. Yeah. But I guess the question is what works and what doesn't work. If that's worked for you. You know, I always have a list of projects. And don't get me wrong.

I don't go insane. I just slowly work on them and hopefully they ultimately manifest. But I don't get lost in whether they don't or do. And again, this is, you know, the greatest cause of suffering is attachment and craving, right? Yeah. And it's interesting because you'll see some people on podcasts. I'll go, you know, I can run, you know, 20 miles. I get up every morning at 4 a.m.

And then I wait, live for three hours. And I am my shit together. And if you don't do it, you're a loser, man. And I'm glad that narrative works for some of these people, but you shouldn't even be in that direction. I mean, yes, if that, you want that, but I'm not quite sure who wants that. My point is, what is it that you need that will make you hold? And, you know, one of the people, or the person I was alluding to, you know, this is a person had a very challenging background, but he feels he has to beat himself to death every day

to somehow prove that, you know, he's got it together. And all it is is it's a sad statement of just beating yourself up to prove you're okay when you were okay to begin with. And we're all okay, you know, we're perfectly imperfect. Now, that's not to say we don't continue to strive, but, you know, getting to the top of a mountain and waving an award around and you look behind you and you have no family, children who dislike you, multiple broken relationships and broken people in your wake, what is it that you've accomplished?

Yeah, 100%. And this is, you know, the sad thing. What about self-talk, you know, just generally because I'm a, I use self-deprecation, humor for me is big, you know, and sometimes I use it to sort of mask some sort of an insecurity. You know, I've got a family of, you know, two, move, three. movie stars and my younger brother is sort of on his way. And not to take away my career. It's been, I've been very successful, but I do feel like a black sheep. And I will use,

not a black sheep, but someone who has not accomplished or reached their potential. Because I honestly do believe that I have a lot of untapped talent. I do believe that, you know, given the right opportunity, things can be even better for me. But I'll use self-deprecation, you know, and I will self-talk poorly, you know, to myself. And I imagine that that can be detrimental subconsciously, right? Well, of course. You know, I mean, each of us carries a different type of burden, right? You know, I have mine, which is the insecurity of poverty.

You have yours living up to expectations in a situation. And there's no reason for you to feel that way at all because your life is not their life. And again, it gets back to the thing. Are your actions to show that you're worthy or your actions about who you are? and I think that's a challenge sometimes and you have to forgive yourself and not beat yourself up

and I appreciate the self-deprecation certainly but you have to get to the point where you understand that it's not about them it's simply about you and who you want to be and what's the best path or vehicle for you to get there

and again the more you beat yourself up, that probably works against you. I guess we're doing a therapy session now. I know. I'm sorry. It always gets, it always goes there with me. No, no. It's okay.

I just love deal. I just, you know, the humanity is very interesting and why I operate and why people operate. I think, you know, to wrap it all up, though, but like compassion forgiveness was a big theme and the Hoffman Institute. And it's not just about, you know, forgiving your parents, but it's about forgiving and having compassion for yourself and finding self-love and finding self-worth because we all are worthy of loving ourselves. There's no doubt about that. And then, you know, you said something interesting in the beginning of our chat, which was sort of having forgiveness or compassion for your parents because they didn't have the tools to help you, you know.

And then when we look back on their childhoods and how they were raised and how they are just sort of extending those negative patterns into onto their children, you know, that helped me a lot with my father, you know, understanding where he came from, why he was who he was, you know. And immediately you feel this beautiful, overwhelming compassion for people who normally you would feel vindictive towards, you know. Well, and that's the thing in this, you know, idea of vindictiveness or not forgiving, it doesn't help anybody. It only hurts you. You know, there's, from my first book, into the magic shop, someone asked me to give a talk to incoming medical students at my medical school, which was a great honor for me since by every marker, I should never have gotten into medical school. but I reflected on the lessons I had learned and I wanted to give these medical students something because they have to remember a lot of stuff and a lot of people use mnemonics to remember so I distilled down what I had learned

into 10 letters of the alphabet and you know people say what is your personal practice and my personal practice includes this and what I do every morning when I wake up is one, I sit on the side of the bed and I do a breathing exercise, again, to put me into the engagement of my parasympathetic nervous system. I think of the joy and awe of being in this world. And then I go through these 10 letters. And they are C, compassion for self and others. D, recognizing the dignity of every person.

E, practicing equanimity, or evenness of temperament, not getting lost in how you want to be or the great things that have happened to you, but also not dwelling on the bad things that happened because they're all transitory. And if you can look at them with the same feeling and have this evenness of temperament, appreciating the good times, understanding the bad times, but always maintaining this, evenness of temperament. And then, of course, forgiveness.

So many people attach an emotion to an event, and every time they think of it, of course, it comes back, and it only hurts them. And so being able to forgive people, not necessarily to forget, having gratitude for what you have. You know, if you simply reflect on the reality that half of the world's population subsists

on less than $2.50 a day, We're incredibly fortunate. And then humility. And I'll assure you as a neurosurge, and humility is the hardest thing to have. Is it really? Because of ego? Yeah, of course. H or I is integrity and values that bound your behavior.

They define who you are, how you act. Jay is justice for our responsibility for caring for those who are vulnerable. hey is kindness simply for doing the right thing and caring for people, they don't have to be suffering. And all of this is contained by love. Oh my God. Love that. Love that. And that's in your first book. Yes. So everyone's got to go buy that one first. Yes. Into the magic shop. The neuroscience. Yeah. Into the magic shop, a neurosurgeon's quest to discover the mysteries of the brain and the secrets of the heart. Amazing. And then the new one? Mind magic, the neuroscience of manifestation and how it changes everything.

Wow, this is so good. Dude, thank you so much. You know what I love. I just love, you know, how open you are about everything. You know, I mean, just the way that you feel, your ego, you were saying it's the hardest thing for you to do, losing all that money, driving the Ferraris, be trying to be the man. I mean, that reality just makes everything so much more palatable when reading something

because it doesn't feel like you're on a pedestal sort of speaking down to people. You are right in the game with everybody, you know. Yep. And that's a beautiful thing. Dude, I appreciate it. And I'm going to hook you up with mom, too, because you guys are going to definitely hit it off. I mean, there's no doubt.

Well, Oliver, I'd love to hit it off with you if you have some time at some point. 100%. All right. Well, this has been really fun, man. I appreciate you. Thank you. You take care, dude. Okay.

Take care. All right. Oh, my God. wow, this I feel, I got energy now. I want him to live with me and teach me the ways how to manifest, how to remain positive. I think he has such a clear outlook, you know,

and a very realistic outlook. It's not, it's not, he's not trying to, I mean, he's trying to sell books, but it's not about sort of, oh, you can, you can have whatever you want. You know, you can, Whatever you want you can have and just fucking manifest it. No, no.

This is about using manifestation through giving back, essentially. And this is what I loved about it, you know, even asking the questions of, oh, what if I want a job? Well, it's not just about, you know, I want a job because I want to be rich and I want to win awards. No, I want, I need a job to be able to support my family so my kids can do this and they can look up to me and know that I work hard. it's just about reframing some of these things, you know. Anyway, that was awesome. Thank you guys for listening. I feel like this is a good one, you know. Buy these books, buy his books. And yeah, maybe, hey, maybe listening to this podcast right now, this specific episode is going to change the entire trajectory of your life.

So in 10 years from now, you can say, Oliver Hudson changed my goddamn life. Changed my life. And then that will make me feel good and I'll feel very powerful. And then I've got to manifest humility. Anyway, all right. Love you guys. I'm out.

Peace. Jude Ice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. It may look different, but native culture is alive.

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It's really hard to be in a partnership. You judge. Yeah, you judge each other. You lead differently. And we've gotten to that edge. Hey, I'm Simone Boyce, host of The Bright Side. And this week, I'm joined by Hollywood Power Sisters, Aaron and Sarah Foster. They're getting real about boundaries, rejection.

Plus, what's next for their hit Netflix series, nobody wants this. Listen to The Bright Side on the IHeart Radio app, Apple. podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. The internet is something we make, not just something that happens to us. I'm Bridget Todd, host of the tech and culture podcast. There are no girls on the internet. In our new season, I'm talking to people like Anil Dash, an OG entrepreneur and writer who refuses to be cynical about the internet. I love tech. You know, I've been a nerd my whole life, but it does have to be for something. Like, it's not just for its own sake. It's an inspiring story that focuses on people as the core building blocks of the internet. Listen to their no girls on the

internet on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.