Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Revel In It: What’s YOUR Dateability?

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Finding love online is a struggle for all singles, but for people with chronic illnesses, dating apps can be downright daunting! Sisters Alexa and Jacqueline Child created an app called ‘Dateability’ which offers singles a whole new dating pool, and it’s already making a splash!! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. With the co-host feature, you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host.

Introducing IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While KindBody did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally, like, in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story,

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us,

father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see?

It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name.

Krista Pike Listen to Unrestorable Season 2 Proof of Life On the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts Or wherever you get your podcasts Hi, I'm Kate Hudson And my name is Oliver Hudson

We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship And would it's like to be siblings We are a sibling reverie. No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling Revely.

That's good. Oliver Hudson here back. Live. It's not live. Well, it's live. It's live for me. Because I'm talking right now. In real time. It's not live for you because you're listening to it weeks after days. I don't know when they're going to release this. Enough about me. Let's bring on Alexa and Jacqueline Child. Of course, there's a million dating sites now. There's whatever, Tinder, Raya, Bumble, hazelnut. You know, Blueberry Hill. I don't know. There's a million different names. I have no idea what they are. I'm not on them.

But this is very specific where, you know, it's a dating app for, well, she has, I think it's Jacqueline has chronic illness, and she, you know, has been experiencing this for a minute now, and she has this disability. She's created a dating app for people with disabilities. It's interesting. Anyway, bring them on. Why am I talking? Let's let them talk.

Hey, guys. How are you? Good. How are you? I'm good. This is so interesting to me. Thank you. Well, let's start not right now.

Let's not start here. Let's start elsewhere. So, first of all, how old are you guys? I'm 34, and I'm 30. All right, explain to me, first of all, Jacqueline, explain sort of your journey, you know, how this came about for you, you know, when sort of these disabilities start to happen in your life, how dating was, the inspiration behind this, because this is very cool. All right. So the story starts when I was about 14 and I was seemingly healthy, didn't know that my genetics were

super messed up. And I contracted a virus, also known as the kissing disease. Had it. As every 14-year-old girl. I had it. New Year's Eve, Vail, Colorado on a bus, made out with some girl. It ruined me for like three months. Yes, it's same. And ever since then, I just never fully recovered. And then things really began to spiral out of control.

And I learned that I was predisposed to a bunch of other illnesses. And so from that point on, of my freshman year of high school, I was now dealing with all these chronic illnesses. And, you know, I've had over 40 surgeries in my lifetime, like two brain surgeries, open heart surgery, literally from my head to my toes. And that has been something that I really, you know, struggled with, but like have been able to manage fine. I cope with it really well.

You lost part of her hair. Yeah. You lost like the top strip of her hair in high school and the boys would call her Raggedy Ann. very sweet um but you know my dating life was like very typical in high school i had a long-term boyfriend and i dated and and so on but then once i um graduated college and moved in with alexa i joined the dating apps and realized that you know the guys were really really harsh about me having chronic illnesses if it if i tried to hide it and it would come up it would be terrible if i told them straight off the bat it would be terrible and you know

people would tell me that I was a burden, that they didn't really want to deal with this extra stress of having to worry about someone who was in and out of surgeries. They told me not to have biological children because I could pass on my genetics. And so this just happened like over and over again. And meanwhile, Alexa, my big older sister was like, guys were begging her to date. Like they were just like, let me, she would reject them right off the bat. And they would be like, no, please just give me a. chance.

I was embarrassing. I resented her and it was really hard to get through. I was just like, why can't I get one first date? And then we came up with creating datability because we just figured that there had to be a place out there for people like me to date who, you know, I could meet people who could relate to me and I don't have to live this pressure-filled life of having to explain myself. Wow, a lot to impact. First of all, datability, incredible name. Thank you.

Come on. Who came up with it? That was me. Really good. Really, really, really good. Okay. Hold on. I got to go back. So 40 surgeries, that's gnarly. The fortitude that you must have to be smiling and to be powering through your life, not only that, but also using it to create something not only that could be extremely successful and make you a billion dollars, but also to help everyone else

who might be going through your situation is completely admirable. I mean, like, I have like a little anxiety. I'm the same way, too. It's crazy. Everything's a big of a world for me. Yeah. So let me ask you a question.

Do you think, this is kind of a philosophical or deeper question, but not really, But do you think that certain people are able to handle these kinds of obstacles and setbacks and some people aren't? Or do you think that the human condition is such that when these things happen to you, the body, the mind, the emotion goes into a place where it's fight or flight in the sense of its survival? Or are you just condition, or is this just your genetics, the good part of your genetics? I think it's a little bit of both. I have always had this like attitude where I never complained as a child, like as a healthy child. If I would break my wrist, I'd be like, I think something's wrong. We should check that out. And they'd be like, oh, yeah, your wrist is shattered. And so I, and I was always like a pretty happy child, really smiley and bubbly. It was like a teacher's pet. And then when this all happened to me, I, I, everything was out of my control. So I was like, is in my control. It's how I react to all of this. And, you know, I

mental health is really not a lot of people's choice. But for me, I feel like making it a choice has really helped me get there. And there's definitely parts of my life that, you know, I was really down in the dumps and had to seek help. But I truly try to look on the bright side of everything. And I don't believe everything happens for a reason. But I believe that there's or you can find a reason in in every experience. I love that. I agree. And so I just like, I do think it's both.

I've been able to adapt. And it honestly, sometimes it's a negative thing because I, I sometimes don't take things like as seriously. If someone comes to me with a problem, I'm like, you'll be fine. It's not the end of the world. Or like even with my own health,

there's been moments where I'm, you know, I ended up having a blood clot, like 18 inches long in my body and I almost didn't go to the hospital because I thought it was just my normal pain that I was dealing with and that I would be fine and I ended up Alexa convinced me to go I bullied you yes you go oh really going and and they were like if you hadn't come in you would have been dead in 24 hours and so there's there's definitely pros and cons but yeah I just I I do my best to put on a brave face and smile every day and she's being

truthful because the reasons why I didn't like her when we were younger are the reasons why I love her now. The positivity. Yeah. That's the North. Totally. So you've been moving back further in the timeline. Is that how sort of you guys grew up? I mean, I know four year difference is pretty decent. You know what I mean? That's pretty big. So, Jack, you would just just rat out your sister. Yeah. And I'll let you tell that because fortunately you were the you were victimized yeah um it was not the happiest child and i was okay in school i was did well in school yeah but i was not the happiest kid and it only got worse with hormones but jacquine loved to wrap me out any little thing any discrepancy i was always grounded

always in high school um and i think you're better about catching yourself now but i still find you sometimes like you just like to share things with our parents and i'm like why would you say that don't don't tell them that like they don't know yeah and i'm like the secret keeper like the mischievous one but it was we fought a lot when we were younger because four years when you're younger now it's like no big like we're in our 30s yeah yeah but when you're younger when i'm 16 and i'm all i can think about it is like partying boys she's 12 yeah i mean what what is a 12 year old gonna do when she's going through her closet and finds a backpack full of like 10 empty champagne bottles i It freaked out.

And I was like, mom, Alexa, have a problem. Oh, my God. I know. So it was coming from a good place, or was it? It always does. It comes from a good place. Right. It came from a place of me really wanting to hang out with her.

So I figured that if she was grounded, that's all she would get to do is hang out with me and make it closer. And it backfired. No, of course, because you're like, fuck you. Are you crazy? Yeah. You're killing me right now. Oh, my God. I was like the biggest buzzkill for your teenage years.

Well, Kate, I mean, Kate used to tattle on me like nuts. And it was similar. I was sort of, she wasn't teachers petty, but she was just so big. That's why she's, you know, famous and a great actor and all that stuff. But she was like, look at me and dancing and da-da-la-un. Hey, mom, look. singing, I'm like, Kate, just fucking calm down. You know what I mean?

Just pull it back a little bit here, you know? And then I'd like trip her, push her, this, and like, oh, I push her. But then one day, she got in trouble for tattling. And I was like, yes. I wish that would happen to you. Yeah. I did get in trouble because I broke Alex's finger. What?

What? I know. We were, so we grew up in Telluride, and I know you're in Colorado. Oh, cool. Yeah. You know, a little competition between your part of the state and ours. But so we're on vacation, and Alexa had asked me to get the shampoo for her. She was in the shower, and all she needed to do was, like, reach out of the shower curtain and grab it.

And I was busy playing, doing something. and she said, you know, you're being the biggest bitch ever. And I flipped, went into the shower, and I said, you want your shampoo? And I grabbed her hand and I pushed her pinky all the way back. And I broke. She goes out screaming, like with her hair full of shampoo. And I do believe I got scolded.

I don't think you got in trouble the way I would have gotten in trouble. She also got in trouble for calling me a bitch. Yeah, of course. Oh, my gosh. We need to talk to your parents. and figure this out, you know. You should see them now, though. They're so happy that we're best friends.

We lived together, which would have thought that. And we've lived together for like seven years. Seven years now. Oh, my God, that's amazing. I mean, it happens. You know, I mean, my sister and I talk about it on this podcast all the time, where, you know, we came from a product of divorce. And so there was a lot of, you know, a little bit of chaos and just trying to figure out a lot of shit.

But we weren't best of friends at all. You know? And then even in high school, she would bug me. She wanted to hook up with my friends and be with my friend. I'm hanging on my door knob. Like, Oliver, let me come in. I'm like, Kate, leave me the fuck alone. And then that switched. You know, when I went to college and I was 19 coming home. And, you know, I was like, oh, Carla looks good. Like, Kate, let me come in your room. She's like, Oliver, leave me alone. You know, so it was, it was like that. And then only in our later years, she got married and she did this. Only in our later years that we really sort of. to reconnect and become best of friends that happens you know it's okay yeah yeah i mean it really gives us a lot of good memories to talk about i mean we were we were definitely close but we fought so much where like any little thing would tip us over you know like if you're we would be on the on an airplane and she'd be reading her magazine and if my eyes just glanced over at her magazine while she was reading it she would be get so mad at me she'd be like leave me alone you're so obsessed with me oh my now now she's the one inviting me to everything she's like

come out and do it is there anything in your childhood that you remember specifically or when you were you know a crazy teenager or whatever that you that that you tattled on where it was monumental where it was just like holy shit i cannot believe you just ratified me out. The champagne bottle was pretty bad. Yeah. Because I was a senior. I was already going to college.

Like I got accepted at college. I knew I was, and so I couldn't believe that I was getting in trouble for this because like in six months just like I'm going to be in college. And what do you think I'm going to be doing there? And I don't even think. And I think it was bad for our family because I'm not even sure our mom like really

knew what to do with it either because she's like, yeah, you're leaving for college. Like I think I might have even been like 18. And so she's like, well, shit. Like do I ground her? do I not ground her and she's like well she's drinking in my house illegally so I guess I have to ground her but we were all kind of like what it was bad um yeah there's been I'm trying to think of other times I've never gotten you in trouble no well because it seems

like Jacqueline doesn't get in trouble no that's not true but I'm I that calls me she called me a sympathetic character yeah right so you can do no wrong because you just you there's so much You want to, I got it. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility,

thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable. somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone?

Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest-ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos.

Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective.

There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other, sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing.

Bloomberg and IHeart Podcasts present. IVF disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled. By what?

All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected. to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now.

Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Power struggles, shady money, drugs, violence, and broken promises. It's a freaking war zone. These people are animals. There's no integrity. There's no loyalty. That's all gone. In the 1980s, modeling wasn't just a dream. It was a battlefield. Book, book, book, make deals. Let's get models in. Let's get them out. And the models themselves? They carried scars that never fully healed.

Until this day, honestly, if I see a measuring tape, I freak out. The Model Wars podcast peels back the glossy cover and reveals a high-stakes game where survival meant more than beauty. Hosted by me, Vanessa Grigoriatis, this is the untold story of an industry built on ruthless ambition. Listen to Model Wars on the iHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, when you were 14, when this all started to happen, and Alex, like, how did you deal with that? Now, you were, what, 18 at the time? Yeah, I was a sophomore in college. Like, by the time this, so she got Mono at 14 and this year, and then it started happening the next year, I would say, right? And so I was a sophomore in college, and I went back east. I was in college in Massachusetts. And so I was really disconnected from what was going on.

my mom would call me crying saying that they can't figure out what's wrong with her. But I think that was the beginning of us becoming closer. I think that it grounded you too a little bit. It made you more real and, dare I say, imperfect. And so that actually brought us closer. Right. Yeah. And then as it continued on, you know, you just got closer and closer.

And at what point did you sort of, were you there? by your sister's side a lot. You know what I mean? At some point it was because you're in college and then it's like, oh shit, this is real. This isn't just like mono and then something else. This is gnarly. Yeah. And that probably changed when I was in law school, I think, is when it became really real

and he started having major surgeries. But my pain and the ass aspects of myself actually make me a good advocate for Jacqueline. So we'll be, when she had hurt surgery, we were in the hospital and they wanted to give her Tylenol after. And I was like absolutely like she's in pain. She needs more than Tylenol. I will stand up for her. I will make sure she gets the care she needs.

I will be there by her side. And so the things that brought us apart later earlier in life, brought us together later in life and have made me useful. Yeah. My chronic illnesses really brought our family together. Our dad has rheumatoid arthritis and one day he woke up and literally could not get out of bed. And it was he went from a very active, like professional equest, life and executive at MasterCard to all of a sudden just like literally not being able to roll over

in bed. And so that first glimpse into chronic illness. But it's different when you're in your 40s and 50s and you're the parent. That's just like the natural progression of things. But when I got sick, it was it really did a number on our family. And it, you know, all of our trips would revolve around me getting medical care. So we would, you know, be traveling. all over the country and that was it was hard and it was a big strain and I think that it's it there's like a phenomenon called the glass child um phenomenon and that's when there's a sibling of a disabled or a sick child and a lot of times the siblings feel feel like they're you know they're invisible and you can see right with them and they don't get as much attention and

I think in the beginning that was that was definitely the case with Alexa and just like my parents didn't have that capacity to make sure she had all of her needs taken care of. They were like, she's in college, she's independent, she's got this. But then as we got more used to me being disabled, my parents have really been sure to like make sure Alexa's needs are taking care of just as much as mine. Well, it's interesting. I mean, how was that, Alexa? I mean, I've, I've never heard the actual term, but I understand what that is.

you know, I mean, did you feel neglected or did you understand the situation? Not really. I think I understood. I am fiercely independent. Like, I was that kindergarten hour on the first day of school that was like peace and then I never looked back, right? Like, I just walked into the school. That's the way I always was. And so I didn't really, I wasn't really bothered by it. I think sometimes there would be important events, like an award ceremony in college and my mom wouldn't be able to go. But I also was like, well, she's also in high school. So like sickness or not, she might not have been able to. to go. I just chalked it up to that. Or her friends asking how Jacqueline is, they didn't

ask about me. But I'm like, whatever. Like, it's fine. I, for once, I'm not getting in trouble. So we're all good. I'm not grounded. And then Jacqueline, you know, not to get too far into and you can talk about as much as you want. But, you know, when you're talking about 40 surgeries, how does something like mono all of a sudden devolve into this? Is this sort of an autoimmune situation that just it's like a ravaging yeah so it started out with like this

diagnosis of pots which has been in the news a lot lately because it's also a lot of people who have had COVID also end up with pots and it was a you know that if it had stopped there it would have been okay

and manageable and I probably would have had a very different life but it uncovered a bunch of things that I had already had. I had no idea that I had a congenital heart defect, and it wasn't until I was like 23 that I found out that my aorta goes the completely wrong way, and they had to go fix that. Like, I have a lot of congenital issues that happen, connected tissue stuff. And so it did, it triggered some sort of autoimmune response where now I have lupus and rheumatoid arthritis and um immunodeficiency issues so it's been yeah I see a lot of

doctors and my medical binders are inches thick yeah so what's your day to day you know what I mean is are good days bad days is that kind of how it works I would say there's bad days and then there's worst days I live at a really high pain level of high fatigue level um but I try to get out as like as in do as much as I can. You know, I have a dog that I will walk every single day. There have been years that I have been more isolated and have been a hermit. And that was like in my mind to protect my physicality. But I realized that it doesn't matter if I sit at home all day or if I go to a concert. Like the end result is pretty much the same. I'm going to be in pain. So I got to just live my life and have so you're essentially in pain as we speak. Yeah, all the time.

Which, like, I can't grasp. Like, I can't. I can't. Even now, you know, I think we had a conversation today where we were both, we had a crazy day. And the next day, so I was exhausted, but then I get sleep and I wake up and I feel normal. Right. So you don't feel normal right now. Like, you're not back to baseline.

And she was like explaining to me how it works. And it, yeah, I still can't fully wrap my head around. Because baseline is just like what you said. Baseline is just not a ton of pain, but just pain. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so, like, right now.

where where do you hurt my I have a lot of joint pain and so like my lower back my knees my fingers neck and how do you how do you mitigate the pain you know is it just through drugs you know through yeah pain management pain management team you know I'm not afraid of medication I definitely will experiment with things with like obviously with my doctors and try to do that um you know i yesterday i had a six hour long infusion um so a lot of and then a lot of just like lifestyle things like i i do try to listen to my body as much as i can and then is this a lifelong journey yeah yeah i don't think i think that there's you know my mom is really hell bent on like fixing me and fixing my chronic illnesses and she is the

person who's always researching drug comes out and she's like let's let's try this and about like stem cells and all that yeah and i understand that um but i i don't see a world in which like my pain and my illnesses are totally cured um i mean nothing that i deal with has any sort of cure um but i will i'll never stop trying yeah let me ask a question do you think hope can be detrimental in that I in that aspect yeah yeah what I mean like hope is obviously a very positive word right it's like hope we have hope we have hope but sometimes hope can sort of lead to non-acceptance essentially that 100 yeah you're living in denial yeah right I I keep low expectations um and that's really helped me like if I if I try this like I'm not expecting to feel better at all if if I do it's a great

plus, but I don't go into anything thinking that it's going to be a game changer. And what about mental health for you and how you've dealt with that through the years, you know, where you said, you know, you're a hermit for sort of, you know, sort of not pain management, but just whatever, but how about your mind? I think that, you know, it's weird when you don't have control of your body because, you know, there's like physical changes. Like, you know, there was a period in time where after my brain surgeries, I'm I gained 40 pounds, and that was really hard on my mental health.

I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. And then there, you know, then there is just like that feeling of watching everyone else's lives progress and mine just stay that's the same. And I sort of felt like I was behind on life compared to all of my peers. But I've worked with a really good therapist who specializes in dealing with patients with chronic illnesses. and that has helped so much and just like accepting and really trying to prioritize what's important to me

and I like to talk to myself the way that a friend would talk to me. Yeah, I love that. That's great. And then how much has datability sort of given you like sort of a new purpose essentially? You know what I'm saying? Like forget about the success,

forget about the potential, just even finding something like this. It's, that has been. Game changing. Yeah, absolutely. I really struggled with my identity before this. I was like, I've identified as disabled, but I didn't feel like I had that any of that community connection. And through datability, I have found that.

And then just like, yeah, waking up every day and feeling like I have built something that helps people find love and connection and that I'm working towards like this attainable goal and creating this company that I mean I would have I would never be able to do this if I worked for someone else. It's only possible that we created it together and that we're our own bosses. This is awesome. So go through the steps. I want to hear about sort of the inception of the idea and because you know I'm a you know I'm an actor and I make movies and I produce and do a other. But I have a very entrepreneurial spirit. When I was a kid, I was always trying to make money. Now, 99% of it was illegal, selling fake ideas, selling

weed, like doing all kinds of crazy shit. But I just had this, you know, desire to sort of figure shit out and make money. And I know how, and I still do. I get stuck, though, because it's hard. Going from concept to actually putting into motion is not an easy thing, especially when you're doing with tech like this. So give me the overall, the inception of the idea and how you went about making it happen. We knew nothing about tech. I mean, I just learned that Control V is how you paste something

without right clicking. So I don't know. And Control C is how you copy it, too. Right. I know that too. So, but Jacklin was getting a feeding tube, but I don't think you mentioned that. And because she has gastroporesis, one of her diagnoses.

And we both freaked out. Like I was like, what does this mean? What does this mean for us if I want to go to brunch, whatever, come with me? And so I was like, it's time to make the safe space that you've been wanting and looking for because, you know, we're in the pandemic. Dating's tough already. This is, it's about to get tougher. And I Googled how to build an app.

I don't Google anything. And it brought me to a website where engineers and coders, like almost like a Craigslist. And I found someone who was in the hometown of my own. alma mater who's disabled. So I thought it was Kisman. I'm like, oh, great, this is amazing. We spent nine months working on the app. We drew everything from pen to paper. Jackman put it on the computer. We sent it to him. We get the real beta version. And Jacklin just cries. We're eating high food. I remember vividly tears just coming down. It's so bad. So I probably even with my Control V knowledge, I could have made it better.

You just hit Control V. a million times and it's something would come out better. But, and so Jack, I wanted to give up. She was like, I can't do this. She was like, I don't. And I said, no, let's just give it some time. And I posted on a Facebook startup group in Boulder. Like, does anyone know anything about building an app?

Because I'm lost. And we reached, we got contacted by consultants who build an app and they created our MVP for us. And a couple iterations after that. And we launched six months later. Yeah, six months later. And now we have an in-house tech team that does it for, you know, sweat equity. And we just launched a subscription model. And our saving grace has been the press we've gotten, which is all Jacqueline, pretty much.

Because we don't have any funding. You know, funding's really hard for female founders and it's hard for disability. People don't get that disabled people want to be intimate and they want a relationship and they totally can. I think there's stereotypes about when you think of someone who's disabled and they just try to, infantilize them. And so that's been our hurdle. Even though we have a lot of success stories on our app, it's still something that we had to jump through, a hoop we had to jump through with BCs. Yeah. So we didn't have any experience, like Alexis said, but we went with our gut. That was the most important thing is that we just were like, I think this is how you would do it.

And this is what our people would like. And I think that this is a good idea. And we never, we never strayed from our intuition. And that has really helped us be successful. And did you guys design? Did you do all the designing on the, on the app? Yeah. And, and, you know, definitely we can improve that.

But for now, it's, it's worked. And it's, you know, people really like it. We took our favorite aspects from the other dating apps. and add it in our own. And then, like, each section on the profile has a datability deets section. It's a list of terms, like, they're very vague. So wheelchair user, immunocompromised, food allergy. And that kind of solves that disclosure problem that Jacqueline experienced

and so many other people experience. And I knew we knew we wanted to have that section, but we wanted to make it sound more fun, not like a medical chart. And so with the Dietz section. So, yeah, we just tried to add our own flair, but create the app that we would want if we were, you know, which for Jacqueline, yes, we were building it for her. So we'll explain the interface.

I mean, you know, is it, is it, you kind of did a little bit. But sort of you log on, you create a profile similar to sort of other dating apps, you know, with pictures and, you know, all the stuff, right? Yeah, absolutely. And like, and if, if you've been on any other dating app, you will pretty much know how to use datability because we wanted it to be akin to those apps. And Alexa, do you have a boyfriend? No.

I'm a lone wolf. Are you on dating apps? No, I'm really like a lone wolf. It's so funny. I'm like, I'm the founder and CEO of a dating app and I don't date. And I haven't dated in years. Eventually, one day. No, she'll meet like a random person for two minutes and then they'll find her on Instagram

and mess, DM her and be like, do you want to go out with me? And then they will just like stalk Alexa. for a year until she just never answers. And what about you, Jacqueline? Are you on your app? Yes, I am. And how has it gone? I'm doing it on my own terms, which is really nice.

Like, I'm single because I want to be. And being a CEO has proven to be very time consuming. So I'm excited to, like, actually, you know, get my toes wet when I want to. But, you know, that day will come. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place we'll stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor.

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My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. From a very rural background myself, my dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family.

And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Power struggles, shady money, drugs, violence, and broken promises. It's a freaking war zone. These people are animal.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And how's the feedback been just generally? First of all, how long have you guys been, you know, up? We're approaching our two-year, October 21st, 2022 is when we launched. And the feedback has been good. We do all the customer support, which I don't think people realize. And there's a lot of mean people out there. So we do get things.

And I'm just like, ouch. That's a good question, actually. Everything's always positive, which of course we should be. But what would have been some of the negatives? You know, what are the things you need to improve on? Oh, I think. Can I answer this?

So a lot of things for the disability community are charity or nonprofit oriented. So we get pushed to become a nonprofit a lot. And I'm like, no, we're not going to do that. But the other thing is when we released our subscription model, which is $4.99 a month. We wanted to make it accessible economically, financially. We got pushback from people thinking that everything should be free, right? And so we've got messages telling us in all caps that we suck. We discussed them.

Like really intense messages for less than a fee a month. I'm just like, well, because they think they're making money off of the disabled, right? I mean, that's right. But all while having a free version, might I add. Right. So I'm just like, what do you, how do you expect us to pay for the server costs if we don't start charging? You know, we've done this for two years for her free and tried to build goodwill with the community. But like, at a certain point, like Jacqueline deserves and I deserve to have financial stability and we deserve to keep datability going.

Of course. There's a narrative there that needs to be created that Jacqueline, who is one of the founders and CEOs of this, has come up with this idea because she herself has been through the fucking ringer. And not a lot of people in the disabled community maybe have an opportunity to do something like this. And she's a business woman. And she's creating, you know, a life for herself where, and it's given her purpose. You know what I mean? Like, I hate that. It's like crazy.

I know. But it, we try to laugh about it. Yeah. And roll our eyes. I know. What you have to because there's a million. Everyone's an asshole. You know what I mean?

There's a million assholes. Like, you look at, like, comments on everything. Like people behind the keyboard will say whatever like yeah look at Reddit or Instagram comments like not about us but in general it's mean yeah but the feedback has been good and we've had a lot of success rates which surprise like in all honesty surprises me for such a short amount of time and our user base is smaller and what I've realized is that we're kind of recreating dating the way it used to be when our parents and grandparents were dating smaller community. My issue with the dating apps is that there's so many options. and it's daunting, overwhelming, like finding a needle in a haystack. But if you go to an event or a volunteer organization, you're brought together by some commonality, right? And you have less options. And I sometimes think that's good.

I think quality over quantity is key. And I think that our success stories are proof of that. Yeah. No, that's great. It's so true. I like that idea. It's a smaller community. It's like a smaller pool.

It's more intimate, essentially, you know. Yeah. Where are you guys living now? Denver. You're in Denver. You're still in Colorado. Yeah. I came back after eight years out east.

Where were you? East? Yeah, Massachusetts and D.C. And then I was like, I'm out of here. I love Colorado. Us too. It's special. It really, really is.

I tried to leave for college, but then I came back after a year and I haven't left. Yeah. So what is your funding situation? You know, are you just sweat equity funding? Are these people just working for you for free? Do you have an infusion of capital that you're having to deal with? Yeah. We're, you know, our engineers are in it as partners. And so we're really grateful for that. They believe in us. But, no, we have a few angel investors. But the most, most of it has just been like, we are working our butts off with as many free opportunity as we can. Like, we don't pay. for PR, we do it ourselves. You know, we'll go to conferences and speak at them to just, like, get the word out. And so, yeah, it's tough, but.

So you need, but do you want, you want an investment, basically? Yes. Yeah. You know, I sometimes I think. The right kind of investor, of course. That is what I try to look at is that, you know, these VCs that we approach that don't, that want us to be a strictly platonic app, first friendship app. They don't want the dating aspect.

They're not going to be a good fit. So I don't want their money. Because if you can't understand our mission and understand the community, one and four people have a disability in the United States, in the world. And so it's not niche. Like there's a lot of people out there who have a disability and get married or hook up or whatever. And so, yeah, it has to be the right funding for us. Yeah. We find better luck with angel investors.

They just have like more trust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so how do you filter people? I mean, what if I want to go on there? you know what I mean and I'm and sort of peruse yeah can can can can anyone go on and you know what I'm saying like I'm okay with that yeah we allow non-disabled people to join and um you know a lot of there are non-disabled people on there have some sort of connection whether it's through their work or through a family member and so it's it disability is just like

a normal thing it's just like another app that they may join um and yeah we We, you know, we work really hard to make sure that the app is safe. We have profile verifications. We have, you know, a limited vetting process where we just make sure that a profile checks out. And there's nothing offensive on there. But, yeah, we welcome everyone whose values align with databilities. Well, you guys, this is awesome. I mean, I think you're doing amazing stuff.

I mean, there's so many things that are incredible. Just deep in your relationship, you guys living together, you know, Alexa, you know, you got to find a dude, but we'll talk about that later. And then Jacqueline, like, just, you know, again, it's inspirational on so many different levels, honestly. It's just the strength that you have to sort of move forward and the idea that not everything happens for a reason, but you create a reason for the shit that happens. You know what I mean? I think that's an important message. Yeah.

And I think that I just want people out there to know that, you know, we're really hard on ourselves and we don't give ourselves as much credit. But, like, we are humans and we're adaptable. And if disability and when disability affects your life or chronic illness affects your life, you too can move forward. It just could take some time, but it's possible. Yeah. And Alexa, good on you. Taking care of your girl. okay she's easy the joke was always like when I would go on dates I'd be like my sister can't get a date

but she's the easier sister I'm annoying and she's easier to deal with so it's easy and she is super self-sufficient so it's like every other relationship um but better your joy yeah well you guys are both going to find love and it's going to be beautiful it's going to work out and then um if any VCs, if any money people, are listening to this. The right kind of investor. Get a hold of my girls and give them fucking money so they can blow this thing up. I appreciate you guys. Thank you so much.

And maybe I'll run into you in the big state of Colorado if you're ever in Aspen. By the way, this whole tell you write Aspen thing, you know, the Vail Aspen thing, you know, I don't get it. No, we're all friends. We're all friends. They're all different. Aspen hates Vail, Vail hates Aspen, you know. Aspen is an amazing valley, okay, because I get it. By the way, I went to elementary school there.

I've been there since the 80s. I get that Aspen is like this she-she sort of tip of the valley insanity. It can be very fun, by the way. But as you move down Valley to Glenwood Springs, it's a beautiful 43, 44 miles because it's got all of it. You know what I mean? But there's this rivalry. By the way, tell you ride is amazing. yeah yeah it's beautiful

Aspen's beautiful I always think about living in Glenwood or Carbondale yeah Carbondale's amazing by the way don't go to Glenwood Carbondale's come up Carbondale's awesome smelly from the

hot springs yeah yeah no Carbondale's an amazing spot yeah it's grown a lot in a good way actually oh yes

it's yeah do you ski oh yeah since I was a baby my whole family skis They tried snowboarding my kids I made them become great skiers Like we want to snowboard I'm like no no no

You were going to learn to ski your ass off And then you can snowboard So they became proficient skiers All right you can snowboard And they got on the snowboards They did it for like a minute And like nah we're gonna stick to ski Same story

I wanted to snowboard because the hot guys were snowboarders Yeah So I was like okay I'm gonna start to snowboard I broke my wrist and I was like forget this Like, I've been skiing since I was two. What am I doing? Yeah. And by the way, now the hot guys are skiers, too.

I know. You know what I mean? They all just, they all look like dads. And now they're hot. Exactly. Exactly. We'll come up. Come ski in the winter.

I'll be there in December. All right. Yeah. We'll be there. But I appreciate you guys. Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah, I wish you the best of luck.

This is really fun. Thanks so much. so much. All right, later, guys. What an inspiration, man. Jacqueline, geez, it's just if that was me, I don't know if I'd make it. I don't know if I make it. I don't know. I mean, I get like a cold or a fever and I think it's the end. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh my God. I have like back pain and I'm like, I'm a die. I mean, I'm a bit hypochondriacal. but just to be able to push through life like that, knowing that this is chronic pain.

This pain is never going away. And to be positive, now look, there's no doubt that there's moments. It has to be. But what a team. What a team. What an inspirational team. I wish them the best.

All right, I got to go. I'm starving. I love you all. Introducing IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While KindBody did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients.

You think you're finally like in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body. Story on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one.

We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. How does someone prove that they deserve to live?

We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike. Listen to Unrestorable Season 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me.

I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.