Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Special Guest Erinn Hudson (Oliver’s Wife)

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

This week, Oliver sits down with his wife, Erinn Hudson, to have a very honest and raw conversation about relationships. They share how they met, go deep into some of the fun times, the difficult times, and open up about forgiveness, judgement, and more.Executive Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by Coors Light, Hairstory (www.hairstory.com PROMO CODE: Sibling) Article (www.article.com/sibling) Wondery, and Squarespace (www.squarespace.com/sibling)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece, we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special.

So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature. You can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice.

Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley.

And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, it's Gemma Spag, host of the Psychology of Your 20s. This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation.

I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own judgment of ourselves. So according to the study, not being liked actually creates similar pain levels as real life physical pain. I'll learn more about the psychology of everyday life, and of course, your 20s, this September, Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson.

And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling rivalry. No, no. Reveory Don't do that with your mouth Sibling

Revelry That's good Hello it's me It's Oliver Hudson One of your two hosts From sibling revelry We are missing one We're missing the other Hudson

The Kate Hudson The Kate Hudson is in Greece right now making a movie she's working the bro is taking over we're going to make it hot we're going to make it great i mean maybe just maybe we're going to get some comments that say hey you know what you just do it on your own probably not um but uh kate i love you i miss you you know you're making the world a better place by being in an action comedy so to remember replace Kate and have an extremely in-depth interview into our relationship, because this is the path that we're going to take for this particular episode is my beautiful wife, Erin Hudson.

She is here. She is with me. She is sitting next to me. Say hi. Hi. Okay. So what we're going to do here is I'm going to interview her. I'm going to ask her questions about me, things that I think I know about myself, things I think that, you know, I think that she might think about me. Maybe she doesn't. I don't know. We're going to get into the depths of our relationship starting from the beginning. And I might have a few questions for you. And she might have a few questions for me as well. So let's get started. Babe, I need your age. Okay. Your weight. Your height. Why, first of all?

This is what we do with all of our guests. Okay. So when was the first time that you noticed me? Maybe. Let's see. First time I noticed you was actually the first night I met you. In Sandy Marshall's acting class, you were in the front row. I was in the way back.

We did have a mutual friend, Mark Rose. I'm sure you've mentioned him before in your podcast. And he introduced us just as his friend. This is Oliver. I definitely thought you were cute, but it was not my style or vibe. I wasn't your type. Yeah, you were. What was your type?

I don't know. At the time, a little more like East Coast, maybe a little like, Preppy, khakis, white t-shirt. And what did I look like? You had on, like, vintage Levi's, like a rock or tea and like a black leather jacket. Very rock and roll, very, like, kind of long hair, very cool, but... And then I remember we had a few classes together. And I remember, like, smiling at Mark, like,

oh, he's kind of cute. And Mark's like, he's dating someone. He's in a relationship. And it's serious. And I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, but then we got paired together to do a scene. So we had to rehearse this scene together. So we were meeting up every week at someone's house

and going over this scene because we were supposed to put it up at some sort of a showcase. So we really kind of got to know each other. And that's when you started to fall in love with me. I definitely, yes, started to find some qualities that I was attracted to. Was there anything that you did, you were like, ugh, in the beginning physically? No, I mean, I just, it was like I said, kind of like style and, you know, but then obviously it was, you know, just our connection and it was kind of your sense of humor, our back and forth. just the energy of being around you i remember saying to my best friend jacky at the time i was like i don't know this kind of like feels weird but i'm like nervous to go in and see him

she was dropping me off yeah and then that just that feeling was kind of there where i knew and then i was kind of like thinking about you but i think because you had a girlfriend it allowed us to kind of be friends and know that there was no awkwardness of like trying to, you know, get to know somebody or when there's the openness of like, oh, we're two single people. It immediately creates something different. And this was like, oh, all right, he has a girlfriend.

There's the buffer. And she was beautiful and a Buddhist and, you know, part of the family band. Mm-hmm. No, she was. She was. And, you know, you were very attractive. I mean, you were hot, so hot. And then, but I was good.

But it was a very flirty friendship. Yep, very flirty, you know. I mean, that was just our thing. I mean, from the beginning, it was playful and it was flirty, but it was a flirty safe because I kind of knew. Right. And you were doing your thing. I wasn't going to lead you on because I knew you couldn't be with me.

You were doing your kind of charming thing that you do, which is, you know, just wanting everybody to fall in love of you. That's a deeper psychological issue. Yeah, we can get to that later. But no, you did try to, like, send me up with your friends. I did. I thought Aaron was so beautiful and fun and all of that. I was trying to sit up with my friends, even though I knew that that wouldn't happen,

and I didn't want that to happen anyway. You know, and then she had a little crew of girls that she would roll around with, and they'd show up at, like, the clubs and the bars, and they'd be wearing, like, their white, like, tank tops, and, you know, they're, like, dog-collar chokers, and they had this whole little crew, cruising around all the celebrities homes after hours and then she had a boyfriend and then they

broke up and she was heartbroken um and then she comes out and hangs out with me and i think it's on i'm like oh my god we're finally going to like make it happen and it didn't it didn't she just needed consoling but i guess the nice part about that was you came to me for that for whatever reason I did because I had a friend you know we had a friendship we talked in the phone for like hours at a time and like yeah there was something we were definitely friends for about a year and a half prior yeah and you knew about Simon and when I called you when we broke up I called you when we broke up remember I was like reading about him and Jamie Presley like as I was getting on an airplane yeah at the same time I was reading FHM where you were talking about joining the mile high club with Simon. Yeah, there's that. And your family had to read all that, didn't they? Yes, they did.

Let's talk about that for a second. Let's keep moving on. No. We'll keep moving on. So anyways, I went to a mile high experience with Simon and her parents who are very East Coast, you know, a little bit more conservative had to read this article. The interviewer got me wasted. I know, but just start there.

Erin's family's mistake number one, amateur move. They follow everything that she does. They literally have. clippings of her. Aaron was like Miss Teen, Massachusetts. She was like runner up for Miss Teen America or whatever. I mean, she was a pageant girl. And then she moves, she goes to, she goes to Miami and she models and she's all hot model of a girl and dating bad boy, this bad boy who's now in jail. But your parents would clip out every little thing and then keep it up and then the FHM article comes out. And she literally is talking about an explicit sort of graphic detail.

about how she had an experience in an airplane bathroom. I can't even imagine. Imagine reading that about Rio. Imagine that. I think I warned them not to read it. I don't know. You know. So then...

Then it all... Well, then we had a few months before we actually got together, both being single. Because in my mind, I was like, you've been in a relationship. You started to, like, you know, pretty much date our hook up with every girl in L.A. And I was like, I'm going to let him kind of ride that out. Mm-hmm.

And I also didn't want to, like, ruin what we had a little bit. I knew our chemistry was going to be kind of, like, an all or nothing. This wasn't going to be like, hey, let's, like, first base, second base, you know, first date, third date. I knew that wasn't going to happen. We had too much history, too much chemistry. And it didn't. First night. And I just knew.

I also was like, it. Fucking Grand Slam. Yeah. But I knew that if I did that too quickly, I would. I just didn't want to be like another girl that you got. Well, what happened was, too, on my end of things is like, you know, I was having a good time. And Aaron was part of the good time with other people. I mean, not all of us together, but, you know.

Clarify that, please. And but I was just starting to really like Aaron. And at some point, I had to eliminate everybody else from the rotation. Is that your favorite word? I don't want to say that. Well, it was the early 2000s, so now that's not appropriate. But, yeah, I mean, it was, but then. But I had to lay down the law, remember?

I know, because there was an exclusivity issue or a conversation. But that was after Vegas. Because we went to Vegas. Vegas was crazy. Vegas is where everything happened, okay? Vegas is where we fell in love. Now, were we chemically helped? I mean, maybe.

We were there for the Super Bowl. It was three nights of just insanity. I was cruising around Caesar's Palace in like a silk Superman robe. We were doing cartwheels in the hallway all night long, all day long. I mean, it was really a beautiful experience. And we were with all of our friends. We were having the best time ever. And we were in a hotel room and we were playing Truth or Dare.

And I asked Aaron truth. And we weren't 13. No, no, no. Yeah. But, yeah. But I asked Aaron, she said, truth. And I said, do you love me? Are you in love with me?

Are you in love with me? And she looked at me. I think you, and then you nodded your head. And you said, yeah. Yeah. So I also had, like, ecstasily flowing through my butt, the body. Like, if, like, the, you know, room surface guy came and said it. I would have been like, I love you, too.

You love me. But. But I did. It was a year and a half of build up. It was a year and a half of developing a friendship, hours on the phone. And I remember Alex, our friend Alex was also like, dude, that's fucked up, that you would ask her that question like that. I remember, I'm like, what? And the psychology for me behind that is obviously I was way too afraid to say it myself.

You know, I wanted her to say it first because, you know, then I wouldn't have to be hurt if she, in fact, didn't say it back to me or didn't love me. But I don't think I said I love you back. I don't think you did. No, I don't think it was like that. No. So we had an incredible time in Vegas, and then we came home and had to discover whether or not it was real, you know, outside of just that insanity. Yeah. But the insanity ensued, really.

I mean, it was just in LA. Yeah, the insanity ensued. I mean, it was just a good time. It was before, like, emails and real cell phones, and it was just a... young, you know, not a lot of responsibility. We were both just kind of, you know, going on auditions and like going to clubs. I mean, it was a time. It was a really fun, crazy time.

But I remember coming home and thinking, all right, like, I knew this would happen. We finally, like, are together physically. It's on. All I'm doing is thinking about this guy. And, you know, in my mind, I think I was like, all right, like, I don't. Like, I don't want to just be one of those girls. I don't want this to die out. I don't want to, like, have him be like, oh, I finally got her, and now I'm good.

And I've always had kind of a little, you know, saying or thought, which is always like, be the one that no one can get. Which my dad always told me, and I thought it was great advice. No, I know. And by the way, I carried with you, because in L.A., I had my friends who were like, oh, you know, you're hanging out with Aaron or whatever. and they're like, you know, they're like, no, you know, you won't be able to get her. No one can get her. It's like, she's like an unattainable. Yeah, it wasn't like, all he like was up for the challenge.

He was over the challenge. No, it was, you know, kind of playing hard to get. The thing is at a certain point, I couldn't hold back anymore. I also didn't want to lose what we had, which was this friendship that I really did value that I thought was different and amazing. But talk about the night on the phone, I remember? Mm-hmm. And then, but, you know, I said to you, because I said to Jackie, I was like, I know my best friend and I would talk about it over and over. And I finally called and I was like, look, it's either like, we're together just us or I don't really want to do this anymore. I'd rather like put it on hold and have you kind of do your thing and revisit it down the road. And I felt scared because I was like, oh, my God, there was a very good chance you could say, okay. And we had. hung up the phone. I was hoping that he would be like, okay, no, I'm all in. I'm all in. And you didn't. You said, I have to think about this. And I remember hanging up the phone

being like, that motherfucker like to Jackie. And I was like, he fucking has to think about this. And I was spiraling and angry. Well, because I had been sleeping with my ex-girlfriend. I know what I mean? We were broken up. And I was like, huh? And a few other people that I, you know, I could name. No, I know. But it was more about her. I remember that? It was like, God, like, I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to, is it over?

Because I was still sleeping with her kind of, even though we were broken up. Yeah. You know, but then I called back pretty quickly. Well, you made it sound like, you know, I got to think about this. Give me some time. And I thought, what the fuck? And it was so mad. You made it sound like it was going to be like a couple days.

You got to go through some stuff. And it was like two hours later. You called back. And you were like, okay, I'm in. Well, I was like, this is stupid. What am I doing? you know what am i afraid of who am i you know is one of those you know commitment i've always been i've always been a girlfriend guy i mean i've had three girlfriends in in all of my life

i haven't even dated for a week or two weeks or two months or three months or six months it's been in love or just having a good time you know so i knew that when i was saying yes to that or when I was committing to that, that it was fucking real. So it was scary, you know, which is carried on throughout my life. I'm always so scared. So we've actually been using Squarespace for a while now. Allison, I think Allison actually designed the sibling revelry website through them. I'm sure she is not educated in websites.

building and that's why Squarespace is so amazing. It was super simple for her to do. I've actually went on them one time. I remember I had this idea. This is years ago for a company and I was like, I need to see how you build a website. And I found Squarespace and I went on. I actually did the trial and I built this sort of fake website. And if I can do it, Anybody can do it on Squarespace. It was very user-friendly, super easy, has everything you need to create a beautiful, modern website. You can use one of the design templates,

or you can drag and drop and do all the fun stuff and get more intricate if that's what you're into. Squarespace is perfect for people who are ready to make their ideas a reality and want those ideas to stand out, okay? design boom innovation storytelling entrepreneurialism customer enablement these are the pillars okay from websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics Squarespace is the all in one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business so go to squarespace.com slash sibling for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code sibling to save 10% off your first

purchase of a website or domain. Hair story. So I've been talking about hair story with our ads. I really love this partnership. This is actually my sister-in-laws, or I mean, not my sister-in-law, literally, but basically, my sister-in-law, so Danny's brother's wife, dad. who's the founder, one of the founders of Bumble and Bumble created this company called Hair Story, and I believe Hair Stories, New Wash, is probably the best product I've used

on my hair in a long time. So New Wash is sulfate, detergent, and shampoo-free hair cleanser. It's natural ingredients with I'll never strip your protective barrier. and it only removes the excess oil and dirt and it keeps all the good stuff in and it really does work. He also did a great product called Hair Bomb. It's like this kind of a wonderful after shower.

I like to put it on after I kind of dry my air dry my hair a little bit and then I put it on and I honestly sometimes put it on when my hair is dry throughout the day. I love it. So the new wash is over 6,000 five star reviews. Whether you've curly, straight, thick, thin, colored, gray hair, new wash, it works. It doesn't matter what texture you have. It's going to give you the healthiest, most touchable hair since childhood. Check out HairStory at HairStory.com and use promo code

sibling to get 15% off your first purchase. That's H-A-I-R-S-T-O-R-Y.com and use our code sibling to get 15% off, HairStory.com. But then she invited, but then Aaron invited me, this was like almost spring-ish. And then she invited me to go back east to her, to see her parents. And I was like, no fucking way. Because Simon was there, though it's summer before. And I'm like, I don't want to just be the next dude who's going to the Cape to, like, meet your family. Yeah, just get in line.

But I was a girlfriend person too, a relationship person. I didn't, you know, I had Steve for like 100 years through high school and college. And then like the worst person on the planet for a minute. And then Simon, that was it. And Simon and I were like together for six months. Yeah. And by the way, I knew Simon. I think even before Aaron and I love Simon.

Simon's a good dude. So then you came to the cave the next summer. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was on. Then you got your show and went to Vancouver and once it was on and you were, you know. Yeah, I was in. So my history a little bit is this.

Okay. I had my first high school girlfriend and, you know, it's high school, but I was in love. I mean, there's no doubt and I know that now because I had, I've been in love, obviously, since. And so I knew it was real. and I was a good boyfriend up until the last little bit and I was a cheater and I was bad and I did some bad things I was in high school and but it hurt her and it was devastating to me and so then with my second girlfriend I was so faithful like super super super faithful to Vanessa you know then I was getting into another relationship and being committed and it was easy I mean honestly it was it was easy for me until it wasn't until it wasn't I mean honestly three were together for three years and we weren't engaged faithful wonderful we weren't engaged so I bought her jewelry all the time and I would always consult my mom because she's good with jewelry and I'm good with jewelry as well

but I just wanted to, you know, always throw her things. What about this for Aaron? And it was around Christmas time and I was getting her a Christmas gift and I brought these rings and some necklaces and I'm like, what do you think about this, this, and that? And my mom's like, what are you doing? You know, why are you, why don't you just give her a ring ring?

I'm like, you mean a fucking ring, like an engagement ring? And I was scared. Marriage scared me, honestly. And I think I could probably speak for Aaron and saying that you never thought that we were really going to get married? I didn't. I mean, I think I was the opposite. I wanted a wedding. I wanted my down to walk me down the aisle. I'm definitely more traditional. But I also felt like I know from my parents and, you know, their upbringing. My parents are high school sweethearts, by the way. But, you know,

when you find somebody, no matter what it is, whether it kind of goes against maybe your religious, you know, beliefs or, you know, parents or whatever it might be, it's hard enough to find somebody. So I was more excited just to have a life partner. And the truth is, my dad used to always say this. You know, it isn't about the marriage. It's about who this person will be as a father if you have children. So I think for me, I was like, oh, that's going to be off the charts. Like, no question. And I just let go a little bit of the idea because I knew you weren't into it. You had your parents, you know, that weren't. And I said, okay, it isn't about like the certificate of marriage and legally being bound. But I did want to have some sort of like

wedding or party or fun part like that. Yeah. And I was just sort of not, I saw Kurt and mom and I saw that work. And then I looked at my dad and mom who were married and I looked at dad and I saw that didn't work. It was pretty basic. Right. So I, I, my philosophy was why get married what's the point really let's just be together and be in love and have a family and all that yeah and i and i've i i believed that i think in the beginning i did think it was probably just a little bit of an excuse i was kind of like and i would say look here's my parents been married since like you know high school sweetheart's amazing marriage still happy laughing having fun so that was my model so you know yeah i believed in that right and her dad is just one of the great

human beings to ever walk on this earth i mean it is true he's not in so many different ways and erin's childhood so is my mom her mom her mom is one of the greats too but in in her childhood was like so idyllic um it was fairy tale esk you know small town in long meadow ride your bike to school i mean it was out of a movie parents are still together compared to me no i know like east coast mall town right i'm just saying i'm just talking about sort of your expectations of yeah yeah when when one is sort of having getting married or falling in love and you know you're you're looking at your father figure in a sense and you have to live up to who your dad is you know what i mean and there's no way i could do that but but you did have like if i was thinking about you know my dad

there is that you know kind of light up the room everybody's drawn to him um charming you know the best like dad father figure like you had a lot of those holidays so you might not be as good of a golfer as my dad but um but anyway so we're there i got the rings and my mom is like what are you doing i say mom i don't know what are you what are you nuts like i'm scared and my mom basically said she goes look this does this ring that you were going to to get her doesn't mean you have to get married right away it's a token it's it's it's it's saying something and she just she said do you want to be with her for the rest of your life and i said i do yeah well then get her something just to show her that you can wait and it sort of put me at ease a little bit

so i said okay fuck here we go and i bought her a ring at neil lane i picked it out myself And I had a whole plan I bought my first house We were moving into the house You know It's kind of a funny, cute story There's boxes everywhere Sort of movie style

And we had some food It's raining And I have this whole plan I've got the ring I've rehearsed a little bit of a speech You know Just to set it a little bit We did have this thing

That we would say to each other Our little like comment Which was like guess how much I love you from the children's book with the bunnies and the whole thing and then you know it would be like

do you know how much I love you and I would always say coyly like no you know like and then he would tell me right it's like a cute little thing

did it on the phone yeah yeah so I had a whole I have to sell this book so good so we're moving into this house it's so exciting it's a cute little Spanish

house in West Hollywood and we're going through undoing boxes and my friend Jackie has come over and she's there helping and she looks up on the fireplace and she's like what is this and up on the fireplace all of her has found a box of like say memorabilia or whatever it is of photos and he's taken out like eight pictures of me and my ex simon now that everybody knows but um and put them up on the mantle so it's like us in jamaica like us cuddling

and kissing, like, you know, on the beach, whatever, all up on the thing. And I come out, I'm like hysterically laughing. And that's just like who he is, because this is actually the night that he's going to propose. I don't know this yet. So we had like a great night, you know, Jackie was there. And you told Jackie you were going to do it, remember? So I'm in another room and you're looking at Jackie and you like, show her the ring. She like bursts into tears.

And then she's like, I have to leave because I'm not going to be able to like see Aaron. and he was like oh okay but she was so excited so i come out of the room and she's just smiling at me like hi like a totally awkward like weird like she could barely keep it in of course i had no clue what she was talking about she's like i'm gonna go i was like okay you know love you anyways we crawl into bed it's late i planned i planned it so i was going to i wrote her a note i was going to make her cry beautiful beautiful love letter the love letter just saying you know just I'm so happy to be moving in this house with you, like, starting our life together, and how special you are to me and all the stuff.

And boom, okay, cue the tears, great. And then I was going to, like, just hold her and look at her and just going to say, do you know how much I love you? And like we do. And she's supposed to coily and cutely say no. And then I'm supposed to, I have the ring in my pillowcase. I'm going to pull the ring out and say, well, this is how much I love you or something like that. Or this is, well, this is how much.

So, you know, boom, I had it, it had, it was going to go to plan. It wasn't too, wasn't too difficult. Read the letter crying. Check. You know, hug, great. Then I go to the part where I'm like, do you know, do you know how much I love you? And she goes, yes. And I'm like, uh-oh.

Well, because you had just written me this love letter. Right. It was amazing and I'm emotional. Because the no was supposed to prompt me to say, this is how much, pulled the fucking ring out and then boomer off to the races but she says yes so I'm like oh you were like stunned and then I was like just kissing you and loving you yeah I was like you're supposed to say no I'm like no I was like oh oh I know I love you too so what the fuck and I've got the ring behind me and and then she saves me by saying not she doesn't know there's a ring

but she goes this is the best night ever oh yeah and that's the best night Then then I pull out the ring and I say, well, here's something to make it even better. Yep. That's what it was. And then boom. So I improvved. I recovered and seen. And so I also had a fucking video camera recording all of this as we were.

So I'm filming her as she's looking at the ring. She goes, shut the fuck. Oh, opens it up. You know, closes it. The whole deal. Yeah. Because I was so in shock because obviously I had been prepping my family who was like, you've been dating this guy for three years.

Like, is he going to put. a ring on your finger and I had to tell everybody it was like no he's not and everyone's going to have to deal with that like my east coast traditional family is going to have to accept that like we're going to be together we're probably going to have kids but like there's not going to be a wedding yeah and speaking of east coast traditional one of the first questions she asked me right now I'm literally in tears so excited and like 30 seconds after I realized what's going on I'm like oh my god I'm like what did my dad say like crying all emotional he goes straight face like ghost and he's like uh it's silent i'm like wait a minute you didn't ask my dad or call my dad

like and he's like didn't even cross my mind like it wasn't even it wasn't even a thought in my mind non-traditional versus traditional ladies i did not i did not so what did we do we proceeded to call my dad on the east coast of my mom and it was like it was like three in the morning three in the morning for them so they're going to wake out with like a heart attack phone call but oliver did set it up he called right i called her dad and i said brooks he's like hey pal i was like i got some news i got something to tell you and he goes what is it and i take a beat and i'm like erin's pregnant it's like a pause and there's a long pause and say a thing and i'm like ah i'm just kidding i just proposed she said yes and he's like oh fuck my fuck what do you do it

and buddy it and then yeah yeah it was actually smart because you know you hit him with the extreme and then you pull back with the joke and then the fact that i didn't tell him or ask him that goes away yeah it was like just relieved yeah it's just really and um but then we did end up having amazing wedding we did but but but even even after that which threw me for a loop was the next fucking morning jacky and all your friends all of a sudden show up at like seven third with baskets of already pre-made sweatshirts and, like, Mrs. Hutz? I'm like, when the fuck did they get this shit done? I mean, it was a few days.

But, yeah, it was like, it was like a scene out of a movie, of a romantic movie. And honestly, honestly, I remember exactly, I felt overwhelmed and I left the house. I went to Dukes. I remember, I went to Dukes and I had a chili cheese omelet by myself. I remember and I remember being like, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like, couldn't you wait till I, like, Ollie wasn't here? to come in with like baskets of like bride shit and it was just it was it was exciting it was the girly the girly stuff and then from that moment on the panic set in and then everything was

good we got married went downhill we got married and had kids and everything was good yeah so should we break and go to commercial folks and come back for the good stuff wish it was that easy but it wasn't. Well, I thought it was because I didn't know that it wasn't. I know. We love article. They have a new outdoor collection. I love when they have the new collections. I get my alerts

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So when you're all caught up on episodes of sibling revelry, I suggest checking out Life is Short with Justin Long. Justin chats with musicians, actors, and artists about how they get the most out of life. Justin, this sounds great. And each episode goes beyond what you'd expect to hear on an interview show. Justin is funny Justin is sensitive Justin is sweet I really think you guys

should go check this out he's a good human being very candid got a candid interview style which I like he knows just what to ask and how to pull all the unexpected stories out from his guests

he interviewed John Bon Jovi he told this story where he shared this moment where his mom Bon Jovi's mom wanted to crawl under the seats after his performance in a local talent show because it was so horrible. Or Alison Brie, she shared an unfortunate peeing incident

that happened on the set of Mad Men. I've had one of those, except it came out the other end. But he has hard-hitting questions, too. Like, if you could have one snack food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Huh? What would it be? Listen to the latest episode of Life is Short with Justin Long on Apple Podcasts,

Amazon Music, or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Wondery, feel the story. There's a lot of lessons in this story. We won't get too detailed. But basically, I just took a downward spiral. I mean, I don't know what it was. Three years, I was perfectly good. And then after the engagement, something happened.

And I started to drink a little bit more. And I just became detached and went depart. party mode and to major avoidance of some kind. And I don't know if this was triggered by, well, it probably was triggered by the, the, the bridle baskets. The bridle baskets, just the finality, I guess, of what it means to be married, maybe dealing with my parents and their divorce. I don't know, but I just.

Also, you were a baby. Don't forget. You were like 20. 28 when we got engaged Yeah 27 or 28 I mean you know 27 or 28 I mean you know you yeah I mean I hadn't I hadn't experienced a ton of life I had never lived alone I live with a roommate or whatever anyway these are all bullshit excuses But I just tumbled into darkness and I was unfaithful and I was out on the scene and partying and doing my thing

And of course, me thinking I had, you know, found my, like, night and shining armor, whatever the saying is, who had had unfaithful orphans in the past and kind of put Ollie up on this pedestal due to his dad and his childhood and never wanted to do that and all that kind of stuff, when I look back, of course, there were red flags and I saw it happening. But I was so, of course, naive is going to be the obvious word that comes, you know, to mind. And I'll take that. But I think I also had a better belief in you. And just I was not a jealous person. And when I say that, like I truly mean I was not jealous of him going out. I wasn't jealous of the girls throwing themselves at him. I literally almost liked it.

felt like it was a compliment right that all these girls liked him and that he was hot i always felt like well i know he's not going to cross the line he's still going to come home with me and i fell in love with you because you were flirt and charming and all of that stuff i loved about you i wasn't threatened by it um i had the confidence in me i you know all that kind of stuff and you know looking back of course now there's a million red flags that i either just didn't choose to see you or want to see or want to believe. Yeah, but I was also... I didn't ever catch you.

There was nothing that I could. No, there was no getting caught and we'll get into that in a second, but for me, just to talk about my personal state of being, I was... I called it like after therapy and going through all of this. I called it like a lowercase addiction, like a lowercase a addiction in a sense.

Because I would come home and I would shower and I would cry in the shower and I would have shame. deep shame, but then I'd, you know, mix a drink and get right back out there. You know what I mean? So there was a lot that I was masking, you know, a lot of psychology that I was, had yet to come up. I mean, I also looked at, I think a lot of it, you know, at the time was I knew you had insecurities, right? Like I knew that you needed kind of your ego to be fed a little bit. And I, but I didn't mind that. I just didn't realize how deep down it was going. And, you know, you going out and partying and staying

out late, you know, I was like, all right. Like, you know, it just wasn't a threat to me. But I did start to sense like, okay, if I'm not enough and like, you know, you need other women to, you know, because look, we all want to go out or be wherever we are and, you know, feel like we're attractive or that, I mean, it feels good. I mean, that's, I'm just being 100% honest and you know humble you still even if you're in a relationship whether you're dating or married or you still you know want to know that you could um you know i i guess my feeling was like hey if i went out to bar and i knew i could still get you know a guy or i could go home with someone like that's what i would have that's where i would have drawn my line on my confidence or my ego it's

like all right i still got it and i think yours started there and it just kind of went down into a darker spiral of needing to knowing that you could get the girl than knowing that you could and you kind of want to or where it just it just you know yeah no i know it was just it was a bad spot and it was about two years of just cycling spiraling down into this hole and then we got married which was an incredible fucking wedding i mean one of the all-time great weddings honestly I mean, it was about 90 people. And I was such a fucking dick. Oh, my God, it was a dick.

But I don't know if I would have changed anything. So Aaron has her amazing friends from college who I love. And home and home and everything else, right? And I've got my family and I wanted to make it small. Like intimacy matters to me when I'm speaking, you know, words from my heart. Like I don't. And especially like having a wedding when you didn't want to have a wedding. Right.

I didn't want anyone there who I didn't know. so no you literally you said to me i don't want to have to be introduced to anybody at my own wedding yes and with your parents and you know all the stuff and you know it made sense and it was oh my god people are going to hate me for this i know but but but it was like here's the thing what happens is you know if i have one friend and the husband and then but it's a group of friends right so it's a group of friends it's fine it all turned out amazing it was small and intimate few people might have not been happy but like right because what Well, I'm going to say, no, I know, but we didn't tell the thing.

Like, I was like, your girlfriends from college, I love it. But they're husbands or boyfriends who I don't know. Or didn't know at the time. I didn't know at the time, right? Now I do. They know, and I was like, I don't really want them to be at my wedding. Well, we had to cut numbers. This is really what was happening because where we were and space.

And so who ended up getting cut was people that Oliver didn't know. He has a very small family. I know everybody in his family. And it was, I had to say it to my parents. too you can't have like the bigger wider group of friends i we had all family a few close friends that are basically like but all the friends all the husbands came to capo but they just didn't come to the wedding they were there were other hotels and my friends that have you know normal jobs and they aren't in the entertainment business was like we're taking a fucking vacation to come right like great like go i mean

terrible i apologize to all you boys out there my that's my my my bad and like my friends you know who want that we're single. We also said if you're single, do not bring a date. There were no dates. You had to literally be like married and we had to know your partner. So that happened because I remember Trace. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was an incredible wedding, incredible speeches. Aaron's brother brought the house down. My brother, Wyatt, brought the house down. It was just beautiful. We, we partied till five in the morning. It was so much fun. It was just one of those moments. Just a really, really fun wedding and then I will say this so that was June 6th 9th this June 9th so from June 9th and I will say this though too in our in our vows I didn't cry and you were weeping and a mess

and I think it was a lot of your guilt and shame and just kind of like holy shit I've been a fucking horrible person yeah yeah yeah yeah and I was an angel imperfect and I know And then so we spent my birthday in Colorado and we won't get in. Well, we went on our honeymoon. Oh, honeymoon was epic. I mean, it was just beautiful. And by the way, you know, I was good. From that point on, once marriage happened, I was good.

And then my birthday comes around and we're driving back from Vegas. And basically, we're at dinner. Well, you've got a call in a car. Okay, okay, right. I can get into all the details. We only have so much time. Okay, okay. Anyways, long story short.

Yeah, I know so much time. We can do a part two in the comment section. They want to hear more, more, more. Let me just say it really quick. We tried to get pregnant that summer on the honeymoon. I had gone off the pill. That was kind of our goal right away. And it didn't happen.

And so we were driving home from Colorado to L.A. We stopped in Vegas. Had a great night. We're sitting at dinner. And I was like, God, I got my period or whatever. And, you know, I was bummed. But I was like, whatever. a few months and you were like ghost white really like awkward and you know just sad and I'm thinking

oh my god like he really wants a kid and I was like it's not gonna be okay babe like it's gonna happen and you were just like weird and distant I was like is everything okay and then you just were like I'm not the man you think I am and you started with the thing you're like I got to go we got to leave dinner and I was like holy fucking shit he's gonna break up with me, like, didn't want to get married, now he's freaking out, cold feet, it's over. And we have this, like, silent, like, walk of silence back to the hotel room that now looks like the shining hallway in my memory. And we go back to the hotel room and you're like, I've been unfaithful and I don't want

to bring a child into the world like this. And I'm relieved that you're not pregnant because there's just, there's too much darkness and I need to get this off my chest. And basically, if you will ever forgive me, you know. Well, I mean, yeah. I didn't, yeah, I had to tell her. I had to tell her we had started this life. We had gotten married and we were going to have kids.

And I couldn't do it. I just, I couldn't do it. I couldn't continue on living in this. crazy world living in my mind living this lie and so i told her i didn't get caught i told her i told her everything and i was a mess oh i was threw up all the wine i was like oh aaron is ice fucking cold sitting on the couch which was worse just looking at me watching me just go through it throwing up puking i've ruined everything if it was a movie you know and we're doing a scene that director would cut and be like, all right, Oliver, you're way over

the top. You got to bring it down because you're way over the top. I was, I was out of my mind. Well, I was in, I think, a state of shock. I was also angry. My whole thing I had always said, and I've said this to every relationship I was ever in, you know, we're humans. It's fucking, you know, not easy, no matter how in love you are. Everybody makes mistakes. Like, I get it. I get attraction. I get all that kind of shit. But I was like, if, something ever happens, just tell me so I don't hear it from someone else. And I would do the same because I feel like there's something to be said when you come and say to the person, I've done this. It's different than a rumor. It's different than other people knowing. It's also saying I want you to

know for me, which in my mind, getting caught means you weren't done doing it. And, you know, then you've got to pay the consequences and you're going to have to be done. But when you're coming forward, you're basically saying, I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. I want you to know. So that was always my like golden rule. And I just didn't think it was going to actually happen. No, why not?

That was crazy. I mean, I remember in that hotel room, I was like turned into a little child. Remember? I was like, I want to call my mom. I want my mommy. I was like, I need my mommy. Even though I was the one who did all of the horrible things, like I needed love. I needed someone to like hold me you know what I mean it was selfish but still I was like I was

just spinning and like oh my god I just remember thinking like I got fucking played and I had no idea so separate from jealousy or the questions like right away in my mind I was just like oh my fucking God like you played me like I thought you know you wouldn't do this or whatever and it was I was so angry. And I literally said to you, you're going to call my dad and tell him why we're getting divorced after three months of marriage. Yeah. It was a done deal for me. No, but I just, in my mind, I was like, we're done. So we were driving home, a rental car. I left the car in Vegas because I couldn't drive. We'd get up the next morning and I get a car to take us because I was just in no shape. And that car ride from L.A. to Vegas to L.A. was really crazy. And, you know, I was just

crying and it was silent and I was just going through it and you know just thinking about how I've just destroyed one of the great things in my life and um and then it happened and for me it was the moment that I knew that things might be okay because Aaron took my head and she put it on her lap and then she just started stroking my hair because she knew the kind of pain that I was in And that's the kind of woman she is, by the way. And that moment, I was like, okay, you know, I think we might have a chance. And then the work started. Then we got home.

I will say just for that moment in the car, it's like, you know, I'm very, I don't know. I'm just realistic. And like, I know that there are women that would, you know, never look back. and I respect that. I think for me, the biggest thing is like you're madly in love with someone. We were literally on a high of trying to make a baby and coming off of our honeymoon

and you don't all of a sudden fall out of love. I mean, I didn't anyway. So I was like, I still love this person. I am brokenhearted, angry. I mean, there was just so many things swirling, but I knew that the reality, of men and women and monogamy. I'm just very realistic, I guess, and I, you know, I thought it was over.

I mean, I knew in my mind it's really, really, really hard to come back from, you know, infidelity and earn trust back. And I, you know, I was more sad at that point. I think I was angry and I was sad. And I just thought we had something really fucking good. and he just couldn't do it. And that was like devastating. Right.

But then you go deeper. You know what I mean? And that's where you, I'll always say whenever I write you letters because I write her letters at least once a year, handwritten letters. She's the most evolved woman that I know. And this is one of the reasons why. I mean, she's looking at things in a bigger picture.

Yes, she can be reactionary. Why shouldn't she be? you know but when we got home we moved out you know we had our home but she moved in with her friend jackie i moved in with my parents she did she didn't want to be in that house you know well there was so many questions once it started happening because it's not like that night you told me everything that went on in those couple years it was like you just were generalizing well then we got into therapy and we got into therapy and things came out in therapy because basically what i thought was you know our parents got involved everyone was very supportive of

around us. I knew, you know, this person, you know, basically like, you know, it came down to this. Your mom looked at me and said, please do not give up on him. If you can give it a try in therapy to work through something like this, please do it because he is going to change for himself, whether it's for you or not. And then she's like, and then there's going to be someone else in our lives and I don't want anybody else in our lives. I want you to be my daughter-in-law and I really think, you know, you should give it, you know. You saw this as an act, you know, not as a whole of who I am. You know, I'm not a bad, nefarious, disgusting, horrible human being at the core, you know, this was symptomatic of a lot of things in my life and it takes

someone evolved like you and someone like my mom who would help you to understand. that take the journey you know and i think honestly that's the problem not just in relationships but not just in love relationships but relationships in general we are so quick to throw everything away now instead of really take a 30,000 foot view look at the whole person and get into the souls get into the emotions get into a little bit of the psychology of who these people are and maybe understand to then grow with or at least give it an attempt and then if you can't okay Right. I think also at that moment in time, those couple weeks where I was still in shock and, you know, kind of just devastated. It was over. We didn't have kids. Okay. We didn't have a lot of years of marriage under our belt. It was different. It was still very fresh and very fun. And I mean, you know, a part of it was. We were not bad. Okay. So meaning like we were still having fun together. We were still having sex all the time. We were, you know, you had your own thing. It wasn't like our. relationship had deteriorated or, you know, we had grown apart. I mean, those factors were

important. And then I think for me, I said to you at that point in time, and I guess this speaks to kind of being evolved. And I said, this is your opportunity to go because I will love you for that decision as well, meaning do not stay because you feel guilty or like you should or you don't want to lose me. Like, lose me. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I remember sitting in Jen's office and just saying, like, I will still respect you. Like, do not do this because you're scared to lose me. Don't do this because, like, you think it's the right thing and your parents and my parents and everyone's involved. Like, it's okay. If you need to go, like, I understand that. Like, we're still young. You're young. Like, you know, you've been so honest and so eager to

fix this but like just make sure it's about fixing you and not like saving our relationship and then we had a week without each other because it was just therapy and I you know I think I really did think he you were going to do that and I thought maybe our story will reconnect one day because I did believe in us but I knew you were young I knew there was so much that you still needed to personally deal with from your childhood and your father and all of your ego and self-worth and it just it was a big undertaking um but you were very very adamant about doing it together and um so we started the journey of therapy which was great Coors light baby cores light allie you're in the Rockies um if you could see me right

Now, I am sitting at the birthplace of Coors Light in Colorado. Summer always feels like the shortest season. I know. It does. But when you need to make the most of it, you just need to chill. You got to chill. Just have a Coors Light. You got to sit by the pool. You got to get your cooler out.

Fill it with Coors Light, ice cold Coors Light. And just sip on those cores light while you hang out with your friends and you laugh and you talk shit and watch the sun go down. Man, I mean, does it get? get better than that? I don't think so. It's a cold-loggered, cold-filtered, cold-packaged, crisp, refreshing. It's perfect for a moment to unwind this summer. It's crisp as shit. I'm about to go play golf right now.

Loading up the cooler with Coors Light. Coors Light is the official beer of slowing down summer, because as the beer that is made to chill, we want you to savor every second of summer. Get Coors Light in the new look, delivered straight. to your door with Drizzly or Instacart by going to Coorslight.com slash Hudson. Celebrate responsibly, Coors Brewing Company, Golden Colorado. But here's how fucked up I was.

My therapist didn't even know what was going on. Like, I had my therapist, but I wouldn't even tell him through these two years what I was going through because I was so ashamed of it. I was like, I don't want to, I was just, it was horrible. but the best was when Aaron made me call her dad you know because he's old school you know I was like Brooks you know here's what happened and I told her everything is what do you mean

because you told her you didn't get caught and I'm like no I told her because I couldn't live with this and he goes you weren't married when he did anything this I said no he's like all right sounds good to me I'm like Jesus I mean yeah it's a little exaggeration I mean, a little bit, but he was definitely... I think what he said to me was, you know, you guys have something special.

I have men, grown men, that wouldn't have enough courage, you know, or respect to do what he did. You were not married at the time. Nothing went on in your own home. These were isolated incidents. It wasn't a full-blown love affair of, you know, with one person. This was... He really broke it down, and it is generational. And, you know, my dad was like, I'll support you whatever you do.

But, you know, we... We were there at your wedding, and, you know, if you guys are going to give it a try, we support that. And, you know, and I had them as such a model of, you know, they're just the best and they're opposites. They're not perfect, but they work. And, you know, they've been together for 150 years. And they've seen a lot. And I've seen it through their eyes of relationships. And anyways, I went in it with a very, like, bleak outlook.

I thought it's worth it. We're married. I love this person. I'm going to try, but I don't think it's going to work. And I just didn't have my hopes up. I think, you know, infidelity is really hard. I think trust, I said to you, I go, look, you're going to probably do all this amazing work. You might become the most honest, you know, wonderful person and partner. And I said, and I will probably deteriorate and become jealous and insecure. I don't want to be checking your phones and not trusting you. It's an ugly, dark place, and it is, it's poison. And I didn't, I've had that feeling before. I didn't want that.

And I didn't want that to be the reason we broke up in a few years because I couldn't handle it. And I became insecure and all of those ugly things that it can bring out. I didn't want. That's not who I am. I've done, you know, and been there. And it just is not a place I wanted to be. And so, you know, we had a lot. lot of stuff. I mean, I remember sitting with our therapist and I said, you don't have to do it

right this second, but we're going to meet here, whatever it was, a few days later, and you're going to tell me every single detail and thing that went on. And, you know, Oliver's looking at me like a fucking deer in headlights. And my therapist is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't think this is a good idea. And I looked at my therapist and I said, it's not your relationship. It's mine. And I looked at And I said, if you're not up for it, I understand. But if we are going to move forward, that's what I need to know. For me, it was, who knew? And all these people thought that I didn't fucking know.

And that was my therapy that I needed to work on. Right. Right. That was the big thing. Oh, I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. I was like, who knew? And they're walking around.

And then these fucking horrors, you know, are walking around like, oh, she has no idea. But I was with her purse. I mean, all of that shit, that was my. issue and my problem, which of course is not everybody is. But for me, I was like, I don't want to find something else out five years down the road. And we bump into somebody or something comes up. I was all about, if we're doing this, we're a team now, I want to know everything. I want you to call all the people and let them know that I know. And I'm saying all. I mean, it wasn't, you know, like a list of 20, but it was definitely a handful. And I had a few, you know, kind of ultimatums.

And I was like, if you're not okay with it, I understand, but moving forward, that's what I need. And then you came back a week later and you were like, I'm ready. And I said, okay, here we go. And he told me things that I definitely would never, ever have found out probably for like three lifetimes. And that was definitely like, what did I, what did I do? But it just, It made me feel like I knew it gave me the confidence to say, okay, he was willing to share this shit with me and we could put it behind us. And then there were no secrets. There was no me wondering, you know, oh my God, am I going to run into somebody? Who's going to know?

All that shit got cleared up. And then we had, then it just kind of rebuilt. And it really was the pre and the post of our relationship. But, you know, yes. And I want to be clear like, you know, that shit. Aaron is. I did a lot of work. I did work for myself, meaning like if I don't want to be this kind of a human being with or without her. That's it. But for her again, talking about the evolution, for her to be able to take me back to create this life. I mean, pretty much, I don't

know what I would be. I don't know what I'd be doing. I don't know what I'd be without you. I really don't i don't know what would be what my life would look like and it's all we're always working you know we got to make i want to make that clear it doesn't just end you're always working you know this is a major mark on our our relationship and it's only made it better and honest and you know yeah i feel like we had an innocence before sure and then you know but then then there's different iterations you know down the road boom something else might happen nothing bad bad but you know you got to check yourself and then you're constantly working you know not just from my standpoint but from each other's standpoint you know what i mean like this is what i'm feeling i don't like this you don't like that i mean this this position you know

is is by far the harder position to be in um i mean i could literally do my own podcast on it and healing and forgiving because for years i i forgave but i was still holding on to so much And I had this feeling of like, how could you do that to me? How could you? And it was those things that it took me a long time to get over. It was, you know, a long time to kind of separate that you could be in love with me and have sex with another person or whatever because I couldn't do that. So through therapy, you kind of realize just because it's how you think or how you would work, it doesn't mean that's the same for everybody else. there is a difference between love and sex, you know, I feel like it was getting over that kind of stuff.

And then it was the forgiveness because I held it over you for a long time too. Even though it was amazing, I'd have these like steps backwards where there was anger and resentment and darkness and, you know, and everything would be going great. And then all of a sudden you'd be like, oh, oh, what happened? Wait, where did you go? What's happening? And it was years of getting through that and rebuilding trust. And, you know, it's definitely not easy. I'm not going to say that.

And every relationship is different. Just, I mean, all the details from your childhood to your upbringings to your past relationships to where you are. You know, all of it. Your careers, your things. I mean, all that kind of stuff. This is ours. But it was. And I think I also learned a lesson to understand that, you know, just because the fairy tale, you know, worked.

for my parents and I felt very deserving of it. You know, it was this kind of all roses wedding and we're going to have babies and we're going to be together forever. It put a reality on the sense that like, no, we're not and you have to work at things and always kind of, you know, show up and be willing to evolve and ebb and flow. And, you know, you both have to always want to be there. I remember this is going to sound so corny, but I remember Gwyneth. said, you know, had some quote that her mom or dad had always said to her, like,

you just, you both have to always want to be there or work on it or like you both don't want to get divorced at the same time. That's what it was, something like that, where even if one of you is like, the other one has to kind of pull for you or still show you the reasons to still be there. And then I think we just got really lucky with our chemistry, because that's like something that I think is super important and then just you know just the constant work the constant communication me come trying to come out of my shell well we yeah you know doing my thing going to Hoffman you know which I've talked about on this podcast wanting to be better wanting to understand the root of why I am the way I am and why I do the things that I do you know and we still do and

you know you do counseling together and we did hardcore for a while now when we need it we'll get together and have a session because we had about i would say 10 years after the wedding that was like amazing and blissful and then you know there was a moment in o'erlandsy time that you kind of were starting to fall back a little bit to old patterns there's no like nothing not even nothing close not nothing even physical close to what i was doing you know a hundred years ago but just you you can slip back and you got to catch yourself and you got to you know i think here's the other thing for me it was realizing no matter how much I love you, you have to love yourself. And so I think a lot of times those darker places, whether it be infidelity or drugs or gambling or things or whatever these

places that people go to are so deeply rooted and personal and have less to do with the partner. And I'm not saying some marriages, it's like, hey, the partner could suck. And a lot of people go and find affection and love and, you know, things in other places. That's, of course, you know, the classic reason for it. They're finding something somewhere else. But when things are good in a relationship and your partner has their own personal demons or battles going on, it can sometimes have nothing to do with you. And separating that was really hard. I mean, it took a lot of work and I think LA's like saved me, saved our marriage, but keeping that open line of communication and being vulnerable. It's the hardest thing to do these days,

but vulnerability is just huge. I mean, we can do a whole podcast on that too, but being willing to like talk about your fears and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities and it just has allowed, I think, for a lot of growth, I will say. And now we're here. Yeah, not perfect, but perfectly together. Sounds like Ellie. With three beautiful kids. Yep. Wow, so we went there.

We don't have to put it in. Yeah, so where do we cut to? So then we had her babies. Yeah, no. No, but, you know, look, there's a lot and it's a lot. And it's a lot. Part two of this shit, too, where we actually talk about

the rest of our lives after that. I don't know. It's never been... Our relationship has never been better. We're 20 years in. Sex is fucking crazy. I mean... Well, that's also vulnerability.

I think that's connection. That's like... Right. Going to places where the intimacy level is at places that it's never been. And it sounds crazy because you hear those stories of... I used to think, like,

when people would say, oh, marriage is work. And I used to think, I don't want to be in a marriage that's work. But you know what that means, like, with experience. And, you know, it's also just, it's, you get to different places and there's just levels of growth, I think. But, you know, I look at it too and I think, you know, back to people or, you know, I have friends or people we meet and they're like, oh, my God, you guys have the best relationship or, oh, that's, I want to be, you know, in a relationship like you guys. And I never shy away from like pretending that it's perfect. But right now it's pretty fucking perfect.

And it's pretty amazing. And so, but I'm always like we. But think about what I'm going through right now with my crazy anxiety and shit. I know. Yeah, you call it perfect, but you're having to deal with a psychopath. You know what I mean? Having panic attacks and not being disconnected. And I'm trying to figure out medication again.

So yeah, we're always trying to help out help each other. Now, Aaron happens to be a fucking angel. sent down from heaven. She doesn't have many things wrong when I say that. I'm not being hyperbolic in any way. Like she might have some anxiety over our kids falling down the stairs or getting hurt or whatever. They ride motorcycles.

Right. Those kinds of external fears and stuff. But she's so solidly made and so solidly raised and has such incredible perspective on things. And that's why she's so evolved, and that's why she's so loved by every single human that she comes into contact with is fucking crazy. And that's why I'm so lucky, you know, honestly. And I don't know. And it was hard. It's hard.

It was hard for me post-Guenna Hoffman to explain and express the way that I could feel about you. Because, again, that vulnerability would hurt. It would feel like I would want to crawl into a shell. It's scary. but it's just the truth and not saying that you know life will never be perfect we're always ebbing and flowing we're always hitting the bumps and um it's just about taking it in stride really you know well because we've also been pretty fucking blessed you know it's like a love be healthy children you know it's like if you can be on solid ground and pretty connected and

in a good place for when the real stuff happens, you know, like whatever it might be or anxiety or, you know, sickness and families or whatever down the road. It's like, and, you know, I think with age comes, you know, or experience and age, all of that kind of stuff. There's, you just, you do see things differently and it isn't just about yourself. It is such a partnership. So, you know, and it's also about raising these kids and being a team there. It does. it gives you this different element of... Right. Well, we could do a whole parenting podcast next.

Yeah. Okay. I guess. You're hungry. I have a headache. Hungry and a headache. How do you feel about talking about all this? I mean, I guess I feel fine. It's so a part of us.

And I'm sure I could be very judged. And, you know, for a long time, I had so much... You're to be judged about me. Oh, God, yeah. I could be like just fucking annihilated. right now. No, but people are going to be like, how could you stay with him?

How could you do that? I mean, I had so much insecurity around that and people saying like, oh, well, of course she stayed with him or, you know, oh, you know, once a cheater, always a cheater. And, you know, I mean, there's so many, like, judgments and things going around. But, you know, it's a part of us. We were very young. It feels like a lifetime ago. And I'm happy we went through it then.

And you kind of wanted to face a lot of things way back then. you know i think a lot of people probably carry shit around and don't know why they do the things that they're doing and they don't like it and that was you and getting into finding out why you were doing it when you had something that you treasured and loved and everything was so great but behind closed doors there was this you know all of it yeah i mean i'm i'm okay with it and i love i'm scared you are everyone be nice I'm also just somebody I mean I'm always an open book

Everyone knows that But it's like you know It's a big part of my life Yeah but I guess I could say I'm ashamed of But then I honestly I don't know what I would be without that You know what I mean Because it could have come out later

And I might not have been in a place We could have been down the road We could have had children Just generally you know But There's a lot of factors playing to it I also am probably one of the most least like judgmental people in the world

and especially after becoming a mom, you know, in this day and age of social media and just all of it. I'm kind of like, you know, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it. And I think there should be respect for everybody's path. And it may not be yours. You might not agree with it. And that's okay, you know. And you don't know other people's stories.

That's the other thing. You know, it's like there's so many lessons to be learned, you know, we're so quick to kind of, you know, know judge or assume or you know label oh hi and then our biggest son comes in here comes our teenager part two okay that was our son teenagers we're locked in we should do one with the kids that'll be so funny all right okay I think that's good wrapping it up I love wow laid it all out there from acting class to therapy to now 20 years in hope we still make hope we're still together when the podcast airs i don't know you never know all right i love me sibling revelry is executive produced by kate hudson and oliver hudson producer is alison bresden editor is josh windish music by

I'm Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mark. If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review. This show is powered by Simplecast. Hi, it's Honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Graziezacios, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition.

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