Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Subject Line: I Won't Make Kate Cry (An Email Episode)

Episode Date: May 14, 2021

It's time for another email episode! Kate and Oliver read more letters from listeners, and despite their best intentions, more tears are shed. If you want to share your story, write us at [e-mail] Producers: Kate Hudson and Oliver HudsonProduced by Allison BresnickEdited by Josh WindischMusic by Mark HudsonThis show is powered by Simplecast.This episode is sponsored by Boll & Branch (www.bollandbranch.com PROMO CODE: SIBLING) Sakara (www.sakara.com/sibling) and Each & Every (www.eachandevery.com/sibling)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh.

Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club. on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, it's Gemma Spag, host of the Psychology of Your 20s.

This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation. I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own judgment of ourselves. So according to this study, not being liked actually creates similar pain levels as real life physical pain. I'll learn more about the psychology of everyday life, and of course, your 20s this September, listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. To give you the answers,

and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling.

No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling, Reveory. That's good. So Oliver, Mother's Day, let's just talk a little bit about this, because I had your kids for Mother's Day.

I know. I was, I had, I had COVID testing issues trying to leave. of a country. I know. You went with your wife to have a little getaway to Cabo and you were supposed to be home for Mother's Day the day before. Yeah. Yeah. And had a COVID testing issue. Yes, because I, I, you have to get tested in time to then show it to the airport, which eventually we, we left on set on Sunday and it was crazy. But I didn't get at the test done in time, which means I had to call Kate, like, can you take my? kids like for Mother's Day but I had the kids and it was so much fun and we had a really nice

Mother's Day and you know what you know what's so great I have this video of all of them I'm I'll send it to you and Danny sort of set this really sweet Mother's Day picnic with a table and chairs but there were only like four chairs and all the adults were sitting around and then there was a picnic area with all these pillows everywhere and the kids were all sitting there were all sitting on the picnic thing, like totally engaged in each other, talking so happy, totally content, didn't need any of us on Mother's Day. No, I know. And I was like, oh, that's, as a mother, that couldn't be the greatest gift in this moment

because that means we're doing everything right as mothers. They're so happy together. They're content. they are connected they love each other they know each other so well like that is what you want our job as mothers is to raise hopefully great children that are but happy and close to their family that they that we have a unit well that's what we go we did it right we're so lucky we're so lucky though that we all live seven and a half minutes from each other mom me you pa Wyatt Boston everyone is right here and it's we're so lucky to have that you know you kind of take it for granted a

little bit because it's just what what it is but when you sort of stop and think about it yeah i long for another life there are days i long that i live somewhere out of here but i know it's in everybody's best interest uh i long i long for my provence house right you're like just give me a 20 mile radius I'll be fine I wish I was a 10 hour plane right away from everybody but hey you know

it just is what it is no no I'm kidding I really do I really do it is it's those moments that make you do realize that those little moments where you think like oh maybe I would go east coast or maybe I would move

somewhere else that you know I don't know. It just was so beautiful. I mean, could you do it? Could you do it? Could you actually move out of L.A. and just sort of get away and be gone from L.A.

with, you know, the kids, and you were just gone, gone. The fantasy's there for me, too. But could you pull the trigger and actually be somewhere else, live 5,000 miles away? Like, you're definitely more settled into your life as a woman, as a mother, you know, much more so than sort of 10 years ago when you were flying. everywhere and you were you're you've got it feels like you've got roots more roots than you ever have i like our roots but i think that that i i have faith that i could create them anywhere right so like the only thing is is that i don't like the idea of being away from all

of you guys right so the answer is yes like if if if if the time like if it came to that time and we got older, the kids are older, you know, I don't know if LA will be where I'll settle forever, you know, I think I'll probably want to be other places. But with the kids and where we are now and like what this feels like, it's like I couldn't imagine moving just based on the circumstance. If everyone was like, should we all move to Colorado? Like should we all move to Austin, Texas? I'd be like, great, let's go. I'm down. I'm down. If we're all doing it, Let's do it. Let's call a family meeting.

Let's call a family meeting and say, look, this is a meeting about where we all want to live. We're doing it. So I don't want anyone, any pushback. It's about throwing hats in the ring. Where do we all want to move? Well, it would have to be Colorado because no one would want to go anywhere else. I guess so. But it's too small.

I need like a city. You know, I need like action. Not that I do anything in L.A. I know. I'm like I say that I say that but then people are like

hey you want to go to dinner I'm like eh no like tonight I'm supposed to go to dinner they're like you want to come out

and like it took Danny and I like stared at each other for like two minutes like do we go out I don't know and then finally

he was like yes I was like yes yes yes yes yes yes

no I'm right with you oh my gosh when she's talked about Okay, this was another thing, but this is on an episode that we have coming out about memory. But when she talked about the social aspects of memory, how important it is that that's a great thing for our memory, you know? I was like, oh, shit, like, of course, because you're out and you're connecting and you're present, you know. I don't know. No, it was so true.

And it's almost like, what has this pandemic done to memory? It's just so monotonous, you know. Well, it depends on your... Well, just generally. Yeah, but there's nothing to like, there's nothing to like burst. There's no bursts. It's just sort of like, oh, like every day. You know what was a great memory I have from the pandemic was when I started, the anxiety started to sort of, you know, drop.

where I didn't feel as much fear but I still had intense anxiety but it was like I needed to get I needed to do something to like feel a little bit normal again and and it was right when

DeNice had his did his the first time everyone started listening to it yeah I remember and I got a drink I hadn't been drinking at all

because I was so scared to drink because I wanted my immune system to be strong. I'm finally, I was like, fuck it, I'm going to have a King Street martini. I'm going to have a King Street, a dirty king, and I am going to dance. And I went into my room, my dance room, and I just, like, turned on his thing and I just literally danced by myself.

I'll never, I mean, hopefully that's memory is, I mean, it's how I remember it. exactly but i'll never forget that like that was a burst during that time and it was so simple and so fun and it says something i think about the nature of who someone is like what's your actual nature what do you do on your own to create a sense of like joy or optimism or you know um like light at the end of the tunnel what it what are you actively doing to feel good um yeah i don't know it's an interesting thing to reflect it's it's a good question because sometimes it also takes energy to get up off your ass to create that for yourself you know because you can get complacent in trying to be happy it's like ah it's almost easier just to fucking

sit here. You know, sometimes it takes work. It's like they say, you know, we were living sort of indirectly what it is to be depressed or living in low level depression. You don't really want to get out of bed or you're not really getting out of the house much. You're kind of not putting on clothes. You're maybe not showering as much as you normally do. You're not, you know, doing as much self-care. You're drinking maybe a little bit too much. You're doing the things that you know, you're sitting on your sofa watching too much brainless television. It's kind of like indirectly, that is what we were sort of being forced to do, you know. And then it was so fun because you realize there are all these people out there who are being creative inside of their walls.

So some people were like, yeah, they had a tendency to go into that sort of that thing. And then some were like, you know, in their closets like playing dress up and like posting all these insane pictures of them. themselves looking amazing, like total artist being imaginative or, you know, dance parties in the house or, you know, it was really interesting. I know. Yeah, so maybe there were a lot of memories created. Yeah. But this is the email episode.

Everyone loves the email episodes. We love doing the email episodes. And for this particular one, I think we kept the crying to a real minimum. Yes. If I remember correctly. Allison, did I cry? We cut out. We cut it all out too.

I think it was... Well, we'll see. Well, here, you know what? Chances are it's a yes. Yes, it's just... But we love hearing from you all. Please, you know, keep writing in. We can't wait to figure out.

We're actually actively trying to look at this right now. We want to be able to do some live shows at some point. So keep writing in. us where you are, what part of the country you're in or the world, and that's right, we're coming at you live will be great. It'll be a whole variety show song and dance. I mean, this thing is going to fly.

Yeah, Oliver's demanding a serious styling team. So, you know, the outfits will be off the charts. But you've never seen sequins like Oliver, like when you see Oliver Hudson in a variety show. Keep writing in.

Don't forget to head us up in comments and to rate the show. We love that. That helps us a lot. And here is our next email episode. Sikara. I think every Sakara ad has started with. the song but why not

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To get 20% off your first order, sakkara.com slash sibling. Oliver Hudson. Each. Each endeavor. day. I love this deodorant. You know what's so funny is I saw Sarah Foster posting about each and every the other day and she had all the flavors. She had the flavors. She had all of the scents and she was actually doing it. And what was so funny is Sarah being my best friend when we

were growing up always made fun of how stinky I was because I never put on real deodorant. And back when we were kids and then I'd use all these natural deodorants and she'd be be like, that is, that doesn't work. That's ridiculous. You smell gross. You need to put a deodorant. Well, we finally found one to fit Kate Hudson. And I was so happy because even she is like, you know, talking about the product.

It was really fun. And it's amazing. It's really, really great. Six simple ingredients. That's it. There's just six of them. Coconut oil, dead sea salt, essential oils. No chemicals.

Great, great, great sense. No chemicals. paraben-free. It's the odor protection that's equal to an antiperspirant, but it doesn't have the aluminum. And that's something that we want to eliminate putting into our bodies, especially right where our lymph nodes are. That's right.

And it's not only about that. It's not only about on-body, it's even off-body, meaning that they're eco-conscious. There's carbon-negative packaging. You know, they try to take away their carbon footprint. It's sugar cane packaging. Mm-hmm. Conscious all around. Yeah. Love it. So, Oliver?

Trust us. Each and Every is going to be your new favorite deodorant. Trust. A relationship starts with trust. Okay? We have a special offer for our listeners. 30% off your first purchase. Go to each and every.com slash sibling and enter promo code Sibling 30 at checkout. Remember, for 30% off, it's promo code Sibling30 at each and every.com slash. sibling. Okay, subject line, I won't make Kate cry. This is great. You know what that means?

I'm going to read this one. Okay, go. Okay. Hi, Oliver and Kate. I'm Danielle and the youngest of three sisters. I just started listening to your podcast two months ago. For some reason, I thought you needed an Apple product to listen to podcasts. I have no idea why I thought that.

but glad I'm able to get caught up on all of your episodes. Ha, ha, ha. First, I want to thank you both for doing this podcast. It educates me on so many different topics I would have never thought to have listened to and introduces me to so many people I would have never known. Just recently, my sisters and I were all in our 30s, did a sister's staycation, and I had them do the question, you guys always ask every sibling you interview. It was so nice to hear what my sisters thought were good qualities of myself.

like to have, and it was so sweet to hear what they would alleviate for me. We weren't always super close. My middle sister and I are just a year apart, and we're always told we looked like twins. My oldest sister is four and a half years older, so she was just way too cool for us. It took her going to college to get closer, but it wasn't until I think we were all over 21 to really be the best of friends. And it was just at the beginning of quarantine that I realized I was so grateful for my sisters. My oldest sister and I both had babies right in the beginning of COVID, and my middle sister is in the service industry,

so we all got to spend so much quality time together. If you both ever want to interview three regular sisters, we'd love to. Thank you again, Danielle. Oh, it didn't make me cry. It made me happy. I know. I'm almost cried just because. Here's what I took from this.

You know, and you and I, sort of fall into this category. As far as siblings go, it's not like love at first sight, you know, it doesn't mean that just the minute everyone comes out of the womb, you are just connected and in love and you're going to spend the rest of your life like that. Sometimes it takes a minute. Right. You know, it takes a while. And for you and I, it took a certain period of time before we really connected and became close, you know, and it sounds similar to these girls, you know? It takes a minute. So be patient. Well, I think you see some siblings.

that like from the beginning they're just so connected and and like do everything together and then some don't and you know as you know when you have multiple kids are all so different i mean it's not like you come out definitely liking each other like you're going to be really different personalities and then you add environmental factors into the equation and things can Did you watch the Billy Eilish documentary? No. Okay, I watched it and we'll talk about it once you see it. But, you know, that brother-sister relationship is extremely tight and I couldn't help the whole

time picturing you and I and how weird it would be if you, if we acted and were as close as they were. I mean, she's like lying in his lap and, I mean, it's, it's. They're so close, and it's really beautiful, but I'm like, oh, my God, I could never do that with Katie. Yeah, but it's like the dupluses. They're like lying on each other's laps too. I mean, you know. Right.

Yeah. You know, sometimes there's a cosmic connection. It doesn't matter. It could be a friend. It could be a parent. It could be a sibling that is like so crazy connected that it's almost like you have to do the opposite, which is like, okay, we need to go do our own things. You know. Let me ask you a question. Do you think that if we came from a perfectly stable upbringing and dad and mom were still together and it was beautiful and that our relationship for sure would be different, you know?

Probably. Yeah. Yeah. So that's an interesting idea. Yeah. You wouldn't be so envious of my life. You wouldn't see me and see that. You know.

Possibly. You wouldn't, you wouldn't be judging yourself so harshly. You know, security, it's safety and attachment. I mean, I think when you have really solid attachment as a child, you just have a very different relationship to connection, period, you know? And I see it in my friends. Like, there's a couple of friends that I have that I'm like, they're so secure in their relationship, in their friendships.

There's such a security, and you realize, like, oh, they have that in their family life completely. But when you look at sisters, like, just what they're saying, I don't know. I think a lot of people have that. They grow up. They have their own friends. They have their own situations. And then you get older and you just connect differently. I love when siblings, we said this, that we were going to do this, when siblings make the effort to be together alone.

right like they went and they did a staycation with all the sisters and remember when we went and did that and we're like we need to make an effort to just do stuff with us and it didn't get past that conversation no we need oh my god i remember that it was me you i'm boston we're like you know what we need to do a weekly or at least a biweekly sibling dinner and and it's it's and we still haven't done it that's the excuse for everything and then COVID Well, all the boys were here You know, for those listening All the boys were here last night

I had my nephews, my sister's kids And then my kids It was fun It was so fun Were they so cute It's just It's really interesting Watching them navigate each other now

You know We're riders the oldest You got Wilder Bodie and Bing You know A couple of them want to watch a horror movie Bing can't watch horror movies He's too scared Bodie wants to watch the horror movie

but is sensitive to Bing not being included so then he goes with Bing into one room and they're watching sort of anime you know and it's this constant debate back and forth I'm in my bed just yelling at them from my bed I'm too lazy to get up I'm like guys figure this out

this is crazy you can't exclude Bing you can't tell Bodie that he has to go watch anime you know watch a movie everyone can watch Oh, no, yeah, I know. Whether they hear me or not, I don't know, because I'm not getting out of my bed. I just love how close they all are.

It's almost like, sometimes I say to Rider, I'm like, dude, you should go out with your friends. You know, I know your cousins you love, and I love it, but, like, you need to also have relationships with other people. Yeah, all of them. I mean, you know, being two, it's like he would rather be with his cousins than anybody. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's awesome, though. I agree with you, but it is, it is cool how close that they are. And Ryder, man, he's the best. He's a, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's really good. He's doing great. He is. He's such a good boy. Just having real conversations with him now, because, you know, he's almost 18, he's going to be 18 soon. So I'm having manly, candid conversations with him just as a friend in a way, you know. It's fun. Okay, Danielle, first off, thank you for not making me cry. Second, I wish I had sisters that wanted to have staycations with me.

Thank God, I have girlfriends that feel like sisters. And three, I love that you guys are so close, and it's everything that, I don't know, it's everything, it's just everything. So, and now you've inspired me and Oliver to call our other brothers and be like, dude, we need to have this sibling dinner thing. We should. We should try to get that back on the books. All right, I'll you go next.

Okay. I've been listening to your podcast for a while just because I'm a fan of you both and your parents. This past Christmas, a friend of mine got me the 23-Mea DNA test as a gift. I'm adopted from Paraguay. I don't know any medical family history, and I mentioned that I wanted to learn more if possible. I take the test, and when my results come in, I find out I have a half-sister in Alabama. Wow I live in New York

I messaged her And we find out we were both adopted in the 80s And have similar stories Holy shit Can I get the rights to this Because it would be a great TV show I grew up being an only child I begged my adoptive mom

For a sister for years And now I finally have one My sister Maria and I have been chatting And are hoping to meet in person Once the pandemic calms down One silver lining of COVID is that now my family has grown. I can't wait to meet my sister and her children in person. I also gained a new niece and a nephew.

Best present ever goes to my friend Liz who gave me that 23-and-me test. I don't know if I ever would have gotten around to getting it for myself. Keep doing what you're doing. And now I can proudly say, I have a sibling too. Light and love Gladys. Oh, my God. That's the best. That's awesome.

That is so crazy. I love 23 and me. I love it. It's like, you know, I was saying we have like, I went on there. I don't know what this says about our DNA. But it's like you have 1,500 relatives. I do too. I get little like notifications on my phone.

Like, we found a new cousin. I'm like, oh, God, delete. We're really a busy family. Clearly, we're a family that likes to have a. A lot of kids. Oh, my God, I know. No, but that is so amazing. A half-sister, that's crazy.

Yeah, that's a big one. That's not like a 700th cousin removed. Do you know what I mean? No. Wow. And the fact that they were both adopted in the 80s. I mean, that's crazy. Yeah.

That's really unbelievable. I wonder what the story is of their birth parents. Maybe we get them on the podcast. Well, this is the kind of thing. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could actually make that happen? Mm-hmm. You know, make them that, you know, for them to come together. It would be so amazing.

But honestly, this glad is that. I love hearing this. And what an amazing, amazing, like you said, the best present from Liz. I mean, how incredible to find out that you have a sibling. And, you know, just to know that you share DNA with someone or, a similar story, I mean, you know, I think a lot of times there's, again, I wouldn't, I wouldn't know, but you, some people who've been adopted have no desire to really find out, you know, where they come from. And some, I think, feel very, there's like a piece of them missing a little bit, you know, that feels like, what, where did I come from, you know? And so to like, not only have that kind of, where I come from, but know that you share that story with someone else is incredible. Mm-hmm.

It really is. And then, you know, once this all passes, not passes, but once, you know, well, hopefully it all passes, COVID, but then they get to finally meet. I know. Which, God, what a reunion. Awesome. Okay. All right.

Oliver, I'm very excited about this. partnership because i'm in love oh my god finally here's what i love about bowl and branch number one these sheets are awesome they feel awesome they i'm i'm all about a great bed you know like putting a great bed together the mattress the sheets the pillows the the comforter what does the comforter feel like like it is to me just the best right it's where we spend most of our lives i want beautiful like cozy yummy beds it's you know and in order to do that you have to research a ton of different sheets everybody likes different things i have to say bowl and branch these sheets are absolutely wonderful i love them they're an open book when it comes to their manufacturing process so they are the

first fair trade certified manufacturer of linens let me just read a few points about why we love Bowen Branch, okay? How this company is actually better for the planet to make you sleep easier at night, okay? It's not just the sheets that are going to make you sleep easier, but knowing how they are conscious about being better for the planet. Okay, so 21,252 metric tons of carbon emissions saved. Sustainable raw materials, organic cotton and wool, responsible down, recycled springs, natural latex, no harmful, no pesticides, right, no GM.

They're cotton. So they do about 2.8 million pounds of fair trade seed cotton purchase helping 12,800 farmers stay out of debt. And I, I, you know, they really go through every process of the company to make sure that everything is just incredibly transparent, high end, and quality driven. And I, I love them. I love these sheets. So feel the difference that quality makes. That bowl and branch. That's bowl and branch.

Get 15% off your first set of sheets when you use the promo code sibling at checkout. That's bowl and branch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D-B-R-A-N-C-H.com. Promo code sibling. Here we go. Dear Kate and Oliver, I discovered your podcast a little belatedly. The Clout's Sibling episode in December was my gateway drug, followed by the Day Chanel's. After that, you two quickly bypassed all the murder medical, royal family, sociopolitical podcasts that were previously in my cue. And I just want to say, thank you. You brightened up

not only my podcast rotation, but my spirit. I am an OBGYN living and working in the great state of New Jersey. I have a 17-month old son, a rescue dog, and a husband who hangs the moon. you crying yes now I'm gonna cry too I think I'm fucking emotional mess sidebar you know ween off lexapro

much slower than I did I just love that phrase like a husband who hangs the moon I am lucky you are lucky that is that's amazing but around this time a year ago I cried in the car

on my way to and from work every day I soon realized that most of my colleagues were doing the same. We were all scared. We were trying so hard to be brave for ourselves, our patients, and our families. And it was beyond depleting. I still don't have the right words to describe last spring. As the year wore on, things got better, and then they got a little worse, and then they kind of stabilized to what is now our new normal. And along the way, I found you guys.

and I finally stopped crying in the car and started laughing out loud instead. Here, you know what? Kristen, I'm going to cry for you. Your candor and curiosity and care for other stories is a gift. It has made not only my commute, but my weary heart a little lighter.

Here's to sunnier days ahead. Kristen! Oh, Kristen! Here's to sunnier days ahead. I am with you on that. I love this so much. Thank you. Thank you. And again, I always say, you know, you guys in the center of all of this who work in as doctors, nurses, in hospitals, I mean, I just can't even imagine, like you said, not having the right words. I can't. I just can't imagine what you must have gone through. And how scary. We must have just been terrible.

And I, and, and a blessing that we're sort of starting to understand it and come out the other side, but it doesn't take away from the fact that we've lost so many people and that that's just what the, what this has been, this, you know, we've lived through a pandemic. We're living through a pandemic. It's so crazy. It's almost like when you really stop to think about it, it's like, what the fuck? Like, wow. No, it's true. It's so, it's so. crazy. You know, yeah, I know. And the human condition is so interesting because we adjust

immediately. Like we serve like in a survival, you know, and yeah, there are those that don't survive and it's just so terrible. But it's like what Farid was saying, you know, the human condition is incredibly resilient and powerful. When we interviewed him, I love that interview member but you know yeah i mean this is this is the new normal it's the these are the things that remind us that we are you know fragile there is a fragility to our existence and but also a resiliency you know we're resilient is shit that's crazy we we are survivors that's that's you know anyway christian i'm a survivor you're a survivor everyone's a survivor i can't believe you can't that was the song that you pulled out of your

I love it Tuchis. Go all. All right. Dear Kate and Oliver, I have fallen in love with your podcast. I just started listening a couple of months ago and have binged all of the episodes. Like many of your write-ins,

I love the banter, the realness, empathy, and vulnerability you both have and I can honestly say I have never enjoyed ads so much in my life. All right. My family thinks I'm losing my mind when I start laughing out loud is something you have said with my headphones on you've been able to touch on so many issues with siblings and family that are so relatable i have a sister that is five years younger than

me we grew up pretty close we are complete opposites in the last 10 years we have really come together she's my person i've always thought that a sibling was important for that reason if something happens in your family to you or your parents you have your person who can know what you feel in those moments and has the same upbringing as you i know it always doesn't work out that way but i am lucky it has i have two kids a boy who is 10 and a girl who is three for my son we conceived naturally without any problems when trying for a second it wasn't so easy a year of trying got us sent to a specialist long story short it was me so we started down the insanely emotional and expensive road called IVF. After three years of no success and pretty much out of options,

my sister, not married, but in a long-term relationship and without kids, offered to be our egg donor. This was something we had thought was not an option due to expense, but if you have a known donor, it costs significantly less. After much thought, we accepted her gift. It was not an easy process, and after another failed attempt, finally two years later, had our very much wanted second child. My person had given me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. She gave me, I gotta get off this Lexa, bro. It's too much. I, I am an emotional person just generally, but this is gnarly. Yeah, but these, this is, this is, this is everything. I know, but I'm such a beta male. Okay. Um,

Yes, you are. A proud beta. Okay, a proud beta. My person had given me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. She gave my son a person of his own. That was my whole goal for going through everything. What I did not expect was for this experience to bring my sister and I closer than we already were. She went beyond the sibling code. There is more to it emotionally than either of us had expected or could have planned for.

I will never know how to repay her. we have recently decided that we are not keeping our story a secret my daughter will know how amazing her aunt is we have told my son and he basically chocks it up to well that's why she's so crazy my sister and i don't always agree we don't always understand why we do certain things and have completely different lives and goals but i never doubt when i need her she will always be there and she knows the same Fuck And she knows the same goes for her An added plus My daughter is a mini

A mini of my sister Thank you for sharing your relationship With each other every week And really confirming how important siblings can be Love you both, Marie What a great letter What a great story! Oh my God And, you know, it's so selfless.

Like, I find that, you know, a lot of people wouldn't do that because they think that it would create more complication. And yet what it has done is created more love and more connection and more life and more interest to the story. The sense of humor of family, like the son, the brother. she's so crazy because his aunt is so crazy is so great you know it immediately makes you just love them I know well I mean you're right you said it great like you can it seems like that can cause a lot of problems but not in this case you know there's an acceptance and it just has built built this family bond to be just as close as it possibly can be emotionally and literally you know I mean They're connected physically, emotionally, all different ways.

It's really amazing. It's just crazy reading these emails and hearing these stories and everyone has a story. And it's everyone is a different story and some of them are crazy and but they're not. And I just. Well, and you also wonder, you know, it's like, you know, there's two sides of this, right? Because we're living in a time when there's so much judgment in these sounds. sound bites of social media and digital media and all these platforms and there's a lot of like negative infiltration into things and you know it's very surface and it's about i don't know really

kind of silly things but at the core of everyone's life is a really intense deep story it doesn't matter where you come from every person has it's like your origin story and out of that comes all of these like incredible let me put it this way i personally believe that every single person has more impact and more power than they ever could imagine that when you walk into a convenience store and you're met with someone who smiles at you who asks you how you're doing today someone who's able to connect to you it could change your entire story in that one moment you never know where someone's coming from it how we relate to people is how is the is our power you can change someone's whole outlook by smiling at them

and giving them something taking them out of something that might have been really a hard day or might have been a moment that might have honestly you know it's like i remember I remember sitting down at a bar one time and having this conversation with a bartender, I was, you know, young, 22, and I was in a terrible place. And this person just completely, like, I'll never forget him. I was like, what am I so sad about? Why am I carrying this weight? This man literally, by just connecting to me and talking to me, changed my whole outlook on something. And that is the power we have as people. It's the power. we have as family to be able to like connect and if we do it with good intention i think we're the most we're so powerful i don't know why i'm talking about that but no it's true but it's also the platform giving a platform for people who don't have that platform to tell their stories so they can you know affect change they can reach people who are in a similar situation who might hear that story and feel better and you know change the trajectory of the way that their life goes you know it's

about that platform the opportunity for for people for the masses for people to hear those stories and that's what we do on sibling revelry okay here we go all right hi kate and ollie spelled oh l-l-l-y which is kind of cute i know i like it's probably from england In this email, I just want to express how thankful I am for stumbling across your podcast. I come from a small family, just my parents and my younger sibling. However, over the years, my sister and I have never been close. And in light of the pandemic, you'd think we would be closer. If anything, it has brought us some sort of understanding to our relationship,

which is the most I could ever ask for. We are completely different people. and although raised in the same house, being the older sibling, we were raised very differently. I don't ever blame my parents for that because they did the best they could with what they had. Although siblings are blood, I truly believe you can have a soulmate. My soul sister, Mallory, has been the biggest light in my life. She's been there for me through thick and thin. For her, I am thankful.

We both listen to your podcast and discuss who we are most like. I can relate a lot more with Oliver, whereas she is very much like you, Kate. So you can imagine how wild our personalities are in this tiny town in Canada. Without her, I would have never made it this far in the pandemic. She gets me out, active, and enjoying life around me. The biggest wake-up call is that I wish I could share her love with the world. In hard times like this, the light she has shown me, can't handle it. has made me super thankful for everything I have and will have in life.

I love her like my sister. I love her like my sister and don't know where I would be without her in this place. I call life. Thank you for bringing her and I closer, especially in these trying times. You guys are awesome and keep going. Chantelle. Oh, Chantelle, I love that. I mean, you're right.

You know, we choose our family too. I mean, I say it all the time. You can't always make it work. But that doesn't mean that there's not people out there that are open arms and your sisters and your brothers. And, you know, I mean, we've got aunts and uncles that aren't aunts and uncles, all of us, you know. And our Thanksgiving is not just our immediate family. We have people. We bring in people, you know, families what you make it.

And thank God. Thank God for that. But I love this. And I also really appreciate your openness about. I think a lot of times people close that down. They kind of have a, like, are in denial about the fact that they don't see life a certain way. It's like they kind of, they make it like other people who see life as optimistic and full of life as like seeing through rose colored lenses because they carry the weight. Instead of looking at it like, you know what, I need a little bit of that.

And I am different, which also carries, by the way, a lot of strength. And having that kind of juxtaposition in a friendship can like really, I don't know, bring. Yeah. And as far as the whole sibling thing goes, you know, with the sort of lack of connection, them being very different people. I guess the question is, do you have an obligation to be close with your sibling or no? You know, I mean, do you, it's, you don't have to be. As long as there's an acceptance there of like, you are this and I am that and we're blood, but, you know, that's just the way it is. There's no obligation.

I think there's, I think that people feel a pressure. Well, I don't know. I would, I would think that you would want to be close. And I think that when you see people who are close to their family, you do long to have that kind of connection. I feel like there's a longing to want that family connection because it is, it really is the people who know your life the best. And when you've had the experience with someone, you've literally shared the same parents or maybe one parent. And you've had the kind of like that history to then not be able to share it or not to get on the same page must be. must be so hard.

Let me finish it. I'm trying to say. I forget what I'm trying to say. My brain, this is terrible. I know. Just wrap it up. You did good. No, but I want, I do.

I want to, I wanted to, oh, the sibling thing. No, yes. No, yeah, no, man, yeah, man. Yeah, man, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it must just feel terrible, but then I think it's a process to get through. that place where you then realize that you don't, that you can set the boundary. Like we're talking about in one of our episodes about how, you know, you can set boundaries

and you might have to set boundaries. And there are situations where you are better off in your life having other family and and creating, you know, creating your family and letting go and letting go of that unhealthy attachment, you know. So I think it's just, you know, Totally personal. Yeah, exactly. And circumstantial.

Yes. But anyway, Chantelle, thank you. And thank you for spelling my name with a why. I'm glad we could, I don't know, that you guys want to actually talk about the things that we're sharing on our podcast because. I know. I never find a dull moment in talking about relationships. I mean, that's like everything, there's a lot of things we get to do, be creative.

But at the center of what we actually do, do, which is storytelling, is human behavior and relationships. And so we never get tired of talking about it. I never get tired of listening to other people's stories. I don't know. I think it's kind of what makes the world go around is how we relate to each other and what we get from it and how we heal from. these things that can be really challenging.

So thank you, Chantel and Mallory, for being such a good friend. Oliver. Yes. I have to go. I have to like, it's like chaotic. I love you. I love. I love you too.

Allison, goodbye. All right. Later, skater. Sibling Revelry is executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Allison Bresnick. Editor is Josh Windish. Music by Mark Hudson, aka Uncle Mike. If you want to show us some love, rate the show and leave us a review.

This show is powered by Simplecast. Hi, it's Gemma's Bagg, host of the Psychology of Your 20s. This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation. I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe, others' judgments of us and not our own judgment of ourselves. So according to this study, not being liked actually creates similar pain levels as real-life physical pain.

Learn more about the psychology of everyday life and, of course, your 20s. This September, listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In early 1988, federal agents raced to track down the gang they suspect of importing millions of dollars worth of heroin into New York from Asia. I had 30 agents ready to go with shotguns and rifles and you name it. Five, six white people pushed me in the car. Basically, your stay-at-home moms were picking up these large amounts of heroin.

All you got to do is receive the package. Don't have to open it, just accept it. She was very upset, crying. Once I saw the gun, I tried to take his hand, and I saw the flash of light. Listen to the Chinatown Stang on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life?

Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcomper podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.