Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson - Will You Accept this Rose with Joan Vassos?

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

In this episode, we revel in sex at a certain age with Golden Bachelorette Joan Vassos.Find out how she beat out so many contestants to become the most eligible woman in America.Plus, why she doesn't feel guilty for finding love after her husband's passing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. September is a great time to travel, especially because it's my birthday in September, especially internationally. Because in the past, we've stayed in some pretty awesome Airbnbs in Europe. Did we've one in France, we've one in Greece,

we've actually won in Italy a couple of years ago. Anyway, it just made our trip feel extra special. So if you're heading out this month, consider hosting your home on Airbnb with the co-host feature you can hire someone local to help manage everything. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. Introducing IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care.

It grew like a tech startup. While KindBody did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally, like, in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos.

And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story.

This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana. Maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model.

I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show. I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues. By talking to the models, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls, and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, what did you help her? Listen to the curse of America's Next Top Model on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Kate Hudson. And my name is Oliver Hudson.

We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship. And what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling reverie. No, no. Sibling reverie. Don't do that with your mouth. Sibling reverie. That's good.

Are we recording? Yeah, we're recording. Oh, yeah. My whole team is here. You know, I have a whole team. I've got an engineer. I've got a sound guy. I've got someone to look stuff up for me.

You know, I've got, you know, an internet guru who's always looking shit up for me. So I have a whole team that I work with on my podcast. No, I don't. It's just me in my son's room with his mushroom tapestry and his poster of 80s girls in G-string. So, you know, this is where I am. interestingly enough that poster which i'm not sure anyone will even ever see it it's a poster that i had when i was like 13 years old i don't know it's a window into my family into who we are i don't know we might be doing it right we might not be but it's we're

doing it our way um i'm swollen as shit i got a laser i went to my man dr jason diamond and he did a it's called an instifacial where they drew my blood spun it into plasma and then did some crazy laser like squirting blood all over my face you know i'm entering the new era i know it's not new you know i know people have been doing this for a while but i'm pushing 50 i said fuck it you know let's just laser my face off uh hopefully it looks all right but as of now i mean it looks like i just got hit in the i got hit in the eye um This better go down because I'm about to leave for New York. I'm doing the Drew Barrymore show. So I'll either look like a normal person or like Rocky Balboa.

So that's where I'm at, but I can't talk too long because we have Joan Vassos in the waiting room. She's on the Golden Bachelor. She's on the Golden Bachelor. Now she is the Golden Bachelorette. I've been watching The Bachelor for a minute now. I got into the first season of the golden bachelor, and he was crying too much, so I had to turn it off. But I'm excited to talk to Joan. Bring her in. Let's try to crack this code. Let's try to get her to some reveal a few things. She's not allowed to talk about. There she is. Miss Camono Dragon. How are you?

How are you? I love being serenaded. Thank you. That's what I say. You know, it's like, what is it? How's it goes like, there she is. It's like, Miss America. I mean, it was like it's a pageant song. I made a crown. Yes.

And then I sing that to my daughter. Every time she comes in my room, I'm like, there she is. And I don't know why. I say, Miss Camono Dragon. I don't know where the fuck that came from, but that's what I say. What's special to her? She doesn't have to be Miss America now. No, and she loves it and she laughs it.

She laughs at it. And I don't want her to be Miss America. No. Oh, that's a lot of work. Way too much work. It's a lot of work. My wife actually was Miss Teen, Massachusetts. And she was runner up for Miss Teen USA.

I think you out, what do they say? Outkicked your coverage or something. Yes, yes. Although you're very handsome, but she sounds gorgeous. Well, thank you. But let me tell you something. Yeah. I went to my man, same as Dr. Jason Diamond.

and he's like a good friend of mine and he's like a face guy. Yes. And I'm going to do the Drew Barrymore show. I'm doing a movie. I'm going to do a movie after this. Anyway, I'm like, let's fucking put a laser on my face. Let's see what happens. And I'm so swollen in my eyes.

Oh, you just had it done. I know. Oh, that's not bad. It was just a day. You're looking good. But it's swollen it is. I know. You could take steroids, you know.

Sometimes they give you steroids. It helps a lot with the swelling. I obviously know it about this. I've known. I've needed it to the world. Where we are. Oh, gosh. I mean, that's the beauty of where we are right now.

Nothing is, everyone's doing everything. I mean. I don't even care. Oh, shit. Who cares? I mean, who cares? Like, I have, you know, it's like a little dip, little bup, bup, you know, I tried filler once a long time ago.

You know, just give it a fucking shot. Why not? You know what I mean? None of it's really permanent. It's all going to come back and start sagging and wrinkling again. So shoot it in there and maybe it'll help for a few months. Exactly. And it's just, I mean, you know, look, we all like to age gracefully. But, you know, we live in a world now where we're constantly looking at ourselves because we have no choice. We're everywhere. I know. Well, I think, though, I get a lot of criticism online about like the amount of Botox or filler I have. And I get like a normal amount like everybody in my age.

but once you like stick yourself out into the world and they're on TV or doing something everybody like chimes in about how you look yeah no I know but honestly the best way to combat that is like with this like yeah fuck off yeah guess what I have and I do and you know what I mean like shut the fuck up you know that's I agree and I readily admit that I do it like some people try to hide it I'm like no no I like this is all injected and whatever, and it makes me happy. I don't do it for anybody else but myself. Exactly, exactly. And if the public knew how many men, how many movie stars are doing everything that, you know, that they would never expect them to do as far as injectables or lasers or facelifts or whatever it is or hair transplants and, you know, all, if the public knew, I mean, you know, you know, know it's a whole industry and not like that do they really think everybody looks like like they

do like they're presented on tv and in magazines it magazines it's airbrushed it's also everybody is doing everything they can to look their best and especially on tv i mean hg tv does us no favors no it is so bad i look at myself every weekend i go oh my god i look so old i look terrible Well, you know, how about that, you know, because I, you know, that's what I do and you look at yourself and you watch your scenes and you have to, I have to watch it 10 times in order for me to gauge even a performance because I'm constantly scrutinizing, you know, myself. I'm like, holy shit, I look. What happened there? Oh, my God. I mean, I mean, forget about, you know, finding love and the sort of idea of what you're doing. Like, forget about that for a second. What about when you just watch. it back. Are you hypercritical? Critical. And I didn't think I would be because really like the show is about finding love and the story is like way more important than what I look like, you know, doing the story. But I can't, I'm just like you. I can't stop looking at like, I'm like, oh my God, I have all these

wrinkles over here whenever he smile. And like, do I really look like that? And then do I really sound like that too? Yeah. Everything is a shock. I'm getting used to all of it now. And I think I'm getting better because it's on every week. And so every week I feel like I'm less critical about myself. And like, you know, this is as good as it gets, I can't do any better. And I'm like giving myself a little grace now. You almost become desensitized to yourself when you watch yourself enough, you know? And I've watched myself enough for 20 plus years.

Now I'm like, whatever. So what? I look like Jack Palance. Okay, fine. You know, it is what it is. People see me, though. I was in the airport in L. last week and somebody said,

oh, you look much better in person than you do on TV. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I know HGTV doesn't do you any papers. Yeah. How is the sort of fame aspect of it just walking around town? I mean, is it something that's fun or is it cumbersome? Is it not fun? How do you deal with it? So, like, in general, I don't think anybody knows who I am.

So I was at like a brewery, winery over the weekend with some of my grandkids and some of my kids. and I think I think I'm flying totally under the radar. We are having a good time. I'm drinking a little bit. And then I get up to the bar to order drinks for my family and I again. And somebody says to me, is the rumor true? Are you really the Golden Bachelorette? And I said, yeah, it's true.

And she goes, oh, my God. And then they started taking pictures. And once the gate was open, apparently, I had no idea. I thought it's just done just fine. I was like being my good piece off. And all of a sudden, everybody was like, Oh, you are, you are. Can we take a picture? So, like, most of the time, I feel like I'm flying under the radar, and I truly believe that. But every once in a while, I get blown up and I don't really know that anybody even, I was at a store today. I seem to be, though, really, my demographic, and this is very embarrassing is the old ladies at the grocery store. I can't, I can't grocery shop to save my life. It takes me like two hours to get through the grocery store. So I have a weird demographic, I think. Oh, my gosh. So where did you grow up?

I grew up in Maryland near where You did? I believe where I'm here right now. You are. Like I'm in Rockville. I love Rockville. Yeah. Rockville,

Maryland. Oh my gosh. She went to Blair. Hi. She's kind of our claim to fame here in Maryland because we don't have a lot of stars barely. Yeah. Oh my God.

That's so amazing. Yeah. Like really close to her. Give me a little snapshot sort of of your childhood growing up, you know, what that was like. Yes. You would think I did something exciting. I had a very normal, almost kind of boring childhood, to be honest, which I guess that is like a good adjective to describe your childhood. You don't want anything too crazy. So I grew up in a really small family because both my mom and dad, so my dad immigrated to here from Holland and he grew up during World War II. So all of his relatives were in Holland, all his sisters, his parents. So I had no family from his side of the family. And my mom grew up basically in orphanage. So she had no living relatives. So it was just my brother. I, my mom and dad, literally like, Thanksgiving was the four of us. So I grew up always thinking, and I felt very

lobbed. We had a ton of attention. My parents were all about education. So we, you know, we dove into that. We, you know, did homework all together every night. I was a street A student. And then I went to college just right here in Maryland. I went to the University of Maryland. And I majored in computer science. So I was kind of a math nerd. I was kind of a nerd, honestly. and so um but then i decided were you a hot were you a hot nerd is there such thing i mean of course you're talking like the librarian thing yeah you i mean were you a hot nerd exactly no i was a nerd nerd okay i mean i was okay you know what i got better i joined a sorority because i had all like nerdy nerdy friends and so i finally joined a sorority and i got into a really good one because i had

a good GPA and they were about to get thrown off campus because they had a not a good enough GPA to stay on campus. So I got into a pretty girl sorority and that helped me a lot, helped my popularity a whole lot in my social life. I hung out like with computer nerds. But then I decided like I want my own, I want a big family. So I did. I had four kids and I married my late husband was Greek and like everybody in the Greek community like is somehow related. And for years my kids thought like aunt so and so was. was like really their aunt when she was just some person that my husband grew up with or whatever. So yep. So I ended up with a big family and that's what I wanted. That's what I

always wanted when I was growing up as kids. Amazing. And where in Greece was he from? I don't know. People always ask me that. Did you go to Greece? Did you go to Greece? He was sort of he was done with Greece. So he never went to Greece, honestly. But both his parents were 100% Greek and they went there often. My late husband didn't love to fly. So taking a trip like that long was not a thing. We would kind of go continental to the United States and every once while we'd get brave and go to like the Bahamas or something. So, yeah, that's it.

And we actually went to Hawaii one time. He was afraid to fly, just didn't like flying. Just didn't love it. Yeah. So we never ended up in Greece. Oh, God, I used to be, I used to be terrified of flying. Now I'm okay. But I used to be, I used to have to take like, you know, two Xanax and drink three beers

and then pass out because I was just, I don't know what, I don't know if it was a control thing or what it was, but man, I would get on an airplane and just freak out, you know, and it doesn't make any sense. Well, the whole thing like this major, massive vehicle is going to get into the sky and stay there. It makes no sense. So you just have to suspend reality and just hope for the best. Yes. I mean, that's life. Honestly, it's sort of just letting you got to let it roll, let it, let it have. I mean, you know that probably better than anyone. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next

adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place will stay in, and how to make it feel like home. I'm already imagining the kind of Airbnb that would make the trip unforgettable, somewhere with charm, character, and a little local flavor. If you're planning to be away this September, why not consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're gone? Your home could be the highlight of someone else's trip, a cozy place to land, a space that helps them feel like a local. And with Airbnb's co-host feature, you can hire a local co-host to help with everything from managing bookings to making sure your home is guest ready. Find a co-host at Airbnb.ca slash host. I'm Jorge Ramos.

In aden, Paula Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in.

to bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other, sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now.

We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeart podcast present. IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients.

You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth.

Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomfit podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's your favorite jersey girl, Gia Judice.

Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss.

Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What happened? How did this, you know, how did your, how did your late husband pass? What was that like? How did the kids deal with it? You know, it's heavy, heavy stuff. I have three kids, you know, 17, 14 and 11. Yep.

You know, my dad, my real dad, who we have a better relationship now, but he didn't, he wasn't around. He kind of bailed a little bit. And then, you know, Kurt came into my life and he raised me. My grandfather kind of bailed on my dad and his brothers. So I wanted to break the cycle and being a father was, you know, my number one priority and it still is. And I'm telling you all of this because part of my fear of death is less about death and more about leaving my kids. Yeah. Oh, I know. Because they need me, you know. They do. And I feel that like even to a bigger degree now that John is gone. Like, I am like the only parent.

I feel the same way that you feel like I have a responsibility to like be here and be healthy and like I even go get my checkups more regularly. And like I, my late husband had pancreatic cancer. So it's kind of, yeah, it's a really lousy one. Yeah, about the worst diagnosis you get. That's the worst. Both of my mom's best friends passed from pancreatic. Both of them.

That's crazy. That's really bad luck. Yeah. And that shit happens fast. it happens fast actually john lasted almost two years which is a really really long time but they were a miserable two years and i went through those two years like thinking he was going to be the one who would live because he was only 59 when he passed away and i thought he was young and he was fit and like i just didn't understand like how bad it was or maybe i didn't and i'm a smart

person but i think i was just in denial and i just didn't want to know how bad it was so we just kept traveling around the country trying to find um a cure we ended with the anderson every month He tried everything, every kind of chemo, every radiation that you could do, every surgery you could do. So they were, it was a lousy two years. He was in treatment the whole time. And it was during COVID. So really just awful. So when he first started out, it wasn't COVID and I could come to the hospital with him and sit while he had chemo.

And then for the second half of his illness, it was during COVID. And I couldn't even come to the hospital with him. So it was awful. He passed away at home, though. So he was, wasn't alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll tell you, like the impact on the kids is really major. And all my kids were adults when he passed away. My youngest had even graduated from college. So I have four. And but my son and my son-in-law were in business with my husband. We owned an office equipment business. And the business just went away. So not only did they lose their father, but we lost our business and their livelihood. And it was just such a huge no-ball. My youngest son had come out of college and he was going to go work for the family business. I was like, you can't do it. I go, dad is not there to mentor you.

You need to go get a job someplace else, which he did, thank goodness. So it didn't particularly affect him, but it affected my oldest son. And then my second daughter, her husband worked for the company, so it expected them. So it, you know, so financially it affected everybody, you know, emotionally it was awful. It's been years getting through it. And I have to say that me, you know, kind of going out and trying to find another love has also kind of a little hard for my kids yeah i was going to be one of my next questions but even before that like i'm curious because you are the matriarch um and you know where you had

two pillars standing to support sort of the roof essentially and now there's one and how do you even start meaning it feels like a giant snowball you know flying down the hill but now you have to get in front of it to try to slow that shit down. Like, how do you even start the process of bringing everyone together and saying, hey, this is the new norm. We need to, we need to figure this out. We need to heal. Everyone's going to go through it differently. But I'm, I'm the queen bee, you know, let's, here you go. Like, how did you, how do you start that process? Yeah, I'll tell you, the first, well, first of all, I'm going to admit that that entire year is kind of a blur to me.

Like, I just went through the motions because I was trying to deal with it for myself. And then I would try to push kind of my feelings down so I could deal with the kids and make sure that they were okay. And I didn't want them to see me breaking down. And so I decided I was going to be the strong. It was going to be upbeat. But oddly, like we had a hard time. even acknowledging that this had happened.

It wasn't like a conversation that we had all the time. It's not like we sat around and talked about John being gone. We just all just put our one foot in front of the other every day just to get through the days. And after a while it becomes a little bit easier every day. And then after, like I said, the first year is really like a blur. But you get through that first year and everybody says you're going to feel a lot better. After the first year is when you start feeling the worst. it all hits you like the first year you're just going to go through the motions the second year you're like

oh my god this is what has happened to my life all of a sudden like life is now moving again and you're acknowledging it and um you can't believe that you're in the situation so then you start accepting what had happened and year three is when it starts you start the healing process or maybe during year two you've healed and year three you can start living again so it's a much longer process than anybody you know, thinks it is. And when you add kids to this process, so you're feeling your pain and then you're also feeling theirs. And like theirs is way worse. Like you would, like, you know how it is. You're only as happy as your least happy kids. That's what I say all the time. And it's a freaking truth. And any parent or any person who's thinking about being parent,

just know that. Because, you know, the more kids you have, the more unhappy times you have and the more stress you have. So when your kids are dealing with something as big as the loss of a parent, You are trying to fill in the gaps for them, and you can't. The gaps are the gaps. You're not going to replace them to the parent. So you just do the best being like the one parent that you can possibly be during this time, even though you are trying to figure it out too. And I'm sure, you know, everyone handles grief differently, you know.

I mean, some people can compartmentalize it a little bit better. Some people can, you know, maybe look to the bigger picture of things and sort of, you know, honestly, like broaden out the idea. idea of what life and death really is and some people can get insular with it and it just eats them alive forever and ever. I mean, everyone's going to deal with it differently. And especially when you have four kids, it's not all going to be the same, you know. No, all very different. I had one son, my youngest son was still living at home as John was going through the process of dying. And he just graduated from college and it was during COVID. So everybody moved home and was working remotely,

just kind of gloomy anyway. Like he's, you know, 23 years old, he's living at home with his parents. and you just have much of, you know, can't really go out very much. And his father is downstairs, you know, slowly up being away. And he was there during the hardest times when John couldn't get out of bed. We had to help him to the bathroom. We had to help shower him. And Luke was there for all of those, you know, really hard places, hard things that we did. And I think that he came out of this the best of everybody because he participated and he did

everything he could for his father because he was living at home. and he helped so much that at the end of all this, he seems to be the most, or was at that time, like the most whole. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, really, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You not only witness it, but you're almost participating in the journey, as horrible as it is, but for whatever reason, there is a, you know,

there is a passage that sort of helps you sort of get through it when it's over because you've been in it, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Luke was really my rock. He's the one that was there all the time. He honestly, he never left the house. He was there. He even, there was a point where I wasn't able to sleep at night because John had so many needs during the night.

He had a feeding tube. So I was going in every two hours to flush that. He had other, you know, he had a lot of meds he needed. Plus he was in pain. So I, you know, he would yell my name. I wasn't sleeping in the room with him at that point. I was trying to sleep in the bedroom next door just so I could get some hours of sleep and I wasn't getting any.

So then Luke started pitching in. Even though he had to work in the morning, he'd say, let me come in and I'll do a couple hours so you can get like two hours sleep. So I mean, honestly, he was my rock. He saved my life at that point. Do you think that there's, you know, guilt and relief? You know what I mean? Like once John might have passed and you were dealing with all this, you knew what kind of pain

he was in, you knew it was terminal, it was inevitable, and finally it happens. what first of all was there any relief and then is there guilt in that relief so um okay so i'm going to be honest with you i convinced myself up until honestly the moment he passed that he was going to be cured i just never accepted that he was terminal and that we weren't going to get through this and even about three days before he passed away he was laying on the sofa and he called me over and he said, sit down with me and he'd talk to you. He said, I want you to know that you were the best wife and man could ever have. And we had a great life together. And I don't want you to stop living. I want you to find somebody else. And I said, oh my God, I said,

I am not having this conversation with you. This is not happening. You are not going anywhere. And then three days went here. He passed away. So he knew it was coming. But I was in such denial, which is amazing because he went from about 220 pounds to about 100 pounds. And I still thought he was going to live. Yeah. So I don't think I felt relief. I felt I was not at the point where I was thinking he's suffering, he needs to go. Got it.

Like that's the right thing to happen. I never was in the, you know, in the spot that he was dying. It was still a gift, though, for him to say that to you, honestly. Because just to say, hey, you know what, go find someone else. Like, you're young, you're vibrant, you're vital. You've got a whole fucking back nine of your life. Like, go live it. Yeah.

You know, it was the opposite of me. I'd be like, Aaron, I'll be watching down. If you're with anyone else, I'm going to haunt your ass. Be in that house every day when you go to bed. It was such a gift. And at the time, I was like, Maddie was even saying it. I was like, are you talking like that? Stop it.

And I was like so not gracious about it. But it was the best gift he could have given me. And I didn't realize that for so, so long. Because, you know, after year one, I wasn't ready to date. After year two, I was thinking, I am like, I'm not getting any prettier. I'm not getting any younger. I want, I loved being married. I loved having my person in my life.

And I wanted that again. So when I started thinking along those lines, I did it without guilt. Well, for the most part. I still felt totally once I got on the show and started actually having feelings for somebody, I did have guilt. So how did that, how did that even happen? Like, you know, how did you go from? You know what? I think I'm ready to start dating again and putting myself out there to sort of, oh, look at this. There's an audition for The Golden Bachelor.

Well, dating is not easy at the age of, you know, 60 years old. It's not easy. So I try all the normal stuff like first putting out into the universe that I am open to going on a date. So thinking I have all these friends and they are going to set me up with somebody, obviously. So I kept waiting for that to happen. I would even ask people, I'm like, don't you know anybody? And they'd be like, no, I don't know anybody that you'd like, or I don't know very many single guys.

So that really didn't work. I waited, and it never came. So then I thought, well, I'll just meet somebody, like, organically. And I'll just make sure I'm, like, really out there. And I was going out to dinner with friends, like, pretty often. I said, let's sit at the bar instead of sitting at the table. So, like, we'd go sit at the bar instead. And so I'm like, people will come up and, like, talk to us.

Well, people did, but they were couples. And so then I was like, okay, well, I guess I have to do a dating app, which I really did not want to do. So I wanted a dating app, and that was like having a job. Like you have to spend so much time reading messages and sending back and being witty. It's a lot of work being winning all the time. Like, you know, good back and forth is like to determine something. Yeah, the banter is, yeah, because I know what you mean. Yeah.

Oh, freaking exhausting. So I did that for, you know, a few months. I met a bunch of guys. I would go and, like, meet them and have drinks. And, you know, what I realized is not only was it like a job and, you know, not something I really wanted to do anymore, but that not everybody is very truthful about their, on their profiles. Right.

And you're not really getting what you're thinking of getting. So you go and you're like, but this guy really has potential. He's going to be really good. And then they're not. They, you find out they have like a 10 year old kid or that they, you know, gained 50 pounds since last time you're sorry. I know that's really superficial. but no it's not i mean you're just false advertising you know i mean

yeah no and it's it's the sort of really should you have to have at least some attraction to the person so 100% so that was exhausting so one time i happened to be out with a friend and we were at a local restaurant across the street and um we were looking around i said like i'm never going to meet anybody i go look at like everybody here is a couple and we kind of looked around the restaurant and she's like yeah everybody's a couple you're right and um so i came home And I was kind of bummed. I was like, you know what? Like, I'm not going to meet anybody organically.

I don't want to do the dating app. I don't know anybody to set me up. Like, how in the world is this actually going to happen? And I really wanted it. So I turned my TV on and I've always been a Bachelor fan and was Bachelor night. And they said, we're doing a casting follow for a new show called The Golden Bachelor. If you're in your second phase of life or something like that. And you are interested in love, you should fill this out.

And I was like, the universe is sending me a song. Yeah. And I, and I filled the format. Well, the question there was really long. It was like 90 questions that I was doing it on my phone. And I had had two glasses of wine. And that is not pretty me on my phone trying to type. So I got to like question 50. I was like, okay, this is exhausting. And I did. I sent like a couple of pictures like I was supposed to do. I filled out like some of the main information. And I just hit send. But I never hear from anybody again because I did such a crappy effort. And then a couple of months later, I got a call. wow you know we would like to talk to you at least and so then the ball started rolling and then the kids were like mama we cool we're cool with this well so most people that do this you'll see somebody has signed them up usually one of their kids yeah but like that happened to me like I signed myself up which is weird to admit because it makes me sound like I was I don't know make it in my mind it makes me sound like I'm a little desperate which I wasn't I just was like, how else do you do it?

So then I had to break it to my kids. And I didn't do it right in the beginning. I didn't go, hey, I signed up for this. I waited until it got pretty far in the process because I wasn't sure if they were going to be happy. And then they were like, what are you going to do? And they're like, well, you're not going to get it. And I was going like, yeah, I'm probably not going to get pet. And so then when I got picked, then they were, okay, now we got to talk about this.

And you're not going to kiss anybody on TV, are you? And so I was like, oh, God, I would never, we'd never do that. There's a lot of guys on TV now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. And the experience, the, experience is a whole, that first time around, you know? I mean, you know, obviously there, you know, are reality TV secrets and, you know,

but everything it seems on The Bachelor's, you know, you know, it's on the up and up. They're putting everyone into situations to where there is, you know, some conflict and they're always has to be, and it's got to be cast correctly. I get it. You know, this is sort of my business as well. But as a whole, how was the experience? And, you know, I mean, do you have lust at first sight? Does it take a while for this sort of to build? Obviously, you know, however many women there are, can't all be in love with one guy. You know what I mean? Like, how does that all sort of play out? So for me, personally, when I went there, I was a little skeptical. And I wasn't skeptical that this works because it certainly does work in, you know, a chunk of the, you know,

different seasons. I wasn't so skeptical that it wasn't going to work. I was skeptical that since this was the first golden bachelor that was ever made, that we weren't going to look really foolish. so like dating as an older person like isn't people perceive it as not being particularly dignified like you're putting yourself out there and it looks a little foolish and it's what you do when you're in your 20s and 30s by the time you're 60 they're like oh poor old people they think they can fall in love or deserve you know deserve this or something

and like how embarrassing is that like my kids are embarrassed when I go on to date so um I was a little worried that we were going to look foolish and that I was also a little worried that maybe I felt a little guilty that, you know, at this age, you should be kind of in a support role to your kids and that you don't deserve to go and make a whole new life for yourself and that I was being selfish leaving my kids and my grandkids and one of my daughters had just had a baby.

The baby was eight days old and I'm now leaving for however many weeks I'd last on the show. And I felt kind of selfish doing this. So I had a lot of feelings I was kind of dealing with going on this and feeling a little skeptical. And I noticed like really early on, like after like day one, that I loved number one being there with those other women. So I finally had 21 other women that were kind of experiencing life at this age the same way that I was. And I didn't have any friends like that. So that was a really great experience.

And then I figured out that the producers and that this show did not want to make us look foolish. They put to produce a really good show that was going to speak to millions of Americans that were, you know, going through this also. So then I started kind of coming out on my shell a little bit and like participating in this journey. And Gary was a really good guy. And he was kind of like he's the OG. He's the one that kind of, you know, was the trailblazer. And he did a really good job by being like really vulnerable. And he got a lot of criticism for crying a lot.

Yeah, he cried a lot. But it also made things easier that when you spoke to him, you had more of a tendency. to open up also because he was being so open and vulnerable. Like you couldn't be like so like I have a dog and you know, you couldn't make that like stupid stall talk you. It was kind of expected that you reciprocate with what he did. So he did a really good job of like pulling you out of your shell and, you know, making you part of the journey.

And like you said, you know, he's only going to pick one. And you could kind of see how things were evolving with other women. So I kind of knew where I stood. and also you've got to remember it's a two-way street. Like you have to pick him just like he picks you. And not everybody there was falling in love with him. Right. It happens.

And I left really early on. So if you didn't watch The Golden Bachelor, I left after, and during episode three, I self-eliminated because my daughter was having some issues after her, the birth of her baby. Okay. So I left really early. So only, honestly, was there for not many days. Oh, got it. Okay. Was there a spark there, though? Was there something that could have been built upon, do you think, in that short time anyway? So I did end up with a one-on-one date, which you don't get many of those. Yeah, no, I know. Yeah. So I won, which is hilarious, a talent contest because I have zero talent. I think it was like a, it was a pity win. But I got a date with him after the talent contest. So he and I had a one-on-one date. And it was like the first time since John,

had passed away that I in my mind could picture a future with somebody else and I didn't know if it was necessarily him but all of a sudden it started feeling okay. Like I was giving myself the hall pass finally that like okay if you found

somebody it would be okay. And next morning I got a text from my daughter saying I need you at home and I left the next day. So we'll never know if it would have urban anything. Yep but did you guys make out? No.

No, you could not. Okay. The kids would have killed me. September always feels like the start of something new, whether it's back to school, new projects, or just a fresh season. It's the perfect time to start dreaming about your next adventure. I love that feeling of possibility, thinking about where to go next, what kind of place will stay in, and how to make it feel like home.

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lose the faith. But there's an institution that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast Network on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing.

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Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcover podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort.

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This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rule Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana, maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

By the way, I am a Bachelor fan. You know, I'm not nutty every season, but I was, you know, when I get into it, I get into it, you know, and then I'm all in. I actually went to, I was working, I was doing a TV show for ABC at the time. And I was like, I want to go to the final one where you, like, go into the studio and my sister was there, I brought all my friends. It was a blast. I'll come this year. No, I know. I'm, I'm tuning in. There's no doubt about it because now I know you. And it just makes it that much better. But I want to get to how, so how did this happen? Like, how did you become the Golden Bachelorette? I mean, you know, did you just get a call randomly? Just, hey, we want you. Kind of.

Yeah. So, no, it's a lot, like, bigger process than that. But, you know, as you know, since you're, like, you watch the season. You know that they usually pick somebody from the previous season. Yes, yes. So, but I left really early. So I certainly didn't think it was going to be me. Right.

That's what I was saying. Like, yeah, who's been there for the long run and who's fallen in love and maybe got hurt. Yeah, it has a much deeper story. People already fell in love with them. They know them really well. They're invested in them. So I was surprised when I got a call from, some of the executive producers saying, you know, we're talking about doing this golden bachelorette and

we have you on the short list and wonder if you'd be interested. And I immediately knew I would be interested. Um, because I felt like I left really early, but I left with the feeling like I went there thinking, oh, it's nice to like find somebody. I left there like really wanting it. Like I all, it like it, it like sparked that fire. And so I still did not know how to date better. So, I was still in the same situation I was in before I went on Golden Bachelors. So when they offered me the Golden Bachelorette, I was like, okay, now this is a great idea because now I get a whole group of guys that have been vetted for me. Yeah.

And they know me. So when they offered it to me, I said, yeah, I certainly would be interested. But I knew that, like, I was one of several on a list. And then as the process started moving on and, you know, I was getting, you know, I was doing other things, you know, helping them try to figure out who they're picking, you know, put you through interviews and, you know, do some, you know, do some footage on you to see, like, if, if it would work. Um, I started hearing all these rumors that, like, some stars were actually being considered for it. So, like, Kathy Lee Gifford and like a couple of, like, people that are really well

know. I was like, well, I'm never going to beat them out. Right. Stars. No one's going to want me if they could have them. So then I really thought I wasn't going to get it. And I also still thought the people, the women from my season that had made it farther, had a better chance. So I actually considered myself kind of pretty low on the list of people. So I was very shocked when I actually got offered to me. Wow. And when these dudes are coming out of the limo or whatever it is, I mean, we all prejudge. This is, it's human nature to sort of look, see, hear, make a judgment.

You know what I mean? And there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, and then you might be surprised later on. you know where it's like oh my god i i put that on him and he's amazing or vice versa right yeah i mean when they're coming out and they're talking to you are you in your mind being like no no no yeah yeah no maybe i mean is that's what's happening so more so i went in to that first night a little worried that i wasn't going to like anybody and i thought now how like how am going to do this if i'm not attracted even after everyone came out you're like all these okay so

before anybody came out, I was like, what if I don't like any of them? Got it. So within the first like 10 guys that came out, I saw several that I was attracted to. So at that point, I was like, okay, this could work out. Okay, I'm feeling better about this. But I was also really conscious. And I talked to some of the people that had been the lead in seasons before, mostly bachelorets. But I did actually talk to Gary also.

And I said, what is like, give me some advice. tell me what worked for you, what didn't work for you. Like, I only get one chance of doing this. I want to do it right. And one of the things, actually, several of the women said, don't judge them on the first night. Give them a chance because both of them had ended up picking the person that was way down on their list from night one.

Like number 17, number 18, like way down. Like the verge of being eliminated that night. And both of them picked them as their person and got engaged. so I was really conscious not to like make those snap judgments yeah that's great question and you don't have to answer this but intimacy you know after your love of your life goes you know how does that work what is that like you know how do you sort of navigate that part of your sexuality you know, because you're young, you're beautiful, you're still vibrant, like I said before. You know, so how do you, how do you do that?

Is that a tough thing to do initially? Yeah, you know what? It's, um, so I think that physical attraction is really important in a relationship. And so, and I also think that at this age, that sexuality is really as important as it is when you're younger. 100%. Otherwise, the person that you're living with is just your friend. Yep.

And I have lots of friends. This is exactly. what I say all the time. If you don't have good sex, I might as well be like raising my kids as my best friend, Jesse. My buddies. I know. Like it's so crucial and I'm a physical touch person as far as love language goes. And it's just so crucial to nurture that and maintain that your, you know, your sexual connection. Yeah. You know, it's very important, I believe, too. Yeah, I really do. And, you know, obviously I don't have done it with one person for a lot of years. And so like, thinking along that lines, you know, as I was going through this journey, you know, I'm looking at

these men and I, like, I have a lot of things I have to think about, but that is certainly one of them. Like, do I want to kiss them? And after I kiss them, but I do other things with them? And these are important questions. Because I don't want to end up with somebody that I'm not attracted to. I don't want to, like, I want to have a normal, healthy, physical and emotional life with this person. So it was, it's definitely on my mind. And it's fair, is it fair to say that the next man that you have been intimate or will be intimate with is the first one since John? Um, it is not. I answered that honestly. I thought about telling you. I'm not answering that. But no, I have, it's not the only one. I a little bit needed to test the waters. Yeah. Oh, you did. Okay. I did. So I kind of did it with

somebody because I just needed to see, like, I need to test the water. See, like, am I? ever going to be able to do this. 100%. That's why I'm asking, you know, even aside from what you're doing on the show, I'm talking just from a human standpoint, from someone who's lost someone when that relationship was so special and it was so sudden. And now, you know, giving yourself to another, intimately like that, you know, it's almost just from a human place. Like, how difficult is that? Like, am I going to be able to do this? Am I going to be able to be able to be in a normal, like, husband-wife?

relationship and be comfortable you know yeah yeah so i i tested the waters i think that's smart yeah i think that's and i found i could do this yeah yeah that it still works i think that's really smart you know because again as we express to each other how sort of physical touch is very important and having a healthy sexual relationship is important when you are falling in love emotionally you want to make sure that that physical part isn't going to get in the way of something that could be special, you know, so why not, why not take it for a little test run to say, oh, yeah, engine's still good. Does this also work?

Do I still like all this? Yeah, I do. Okay, this is going to work out. Okay. Yeah, this is going to work out. It's smart. That's an important part. And I, you know, and I kind of, like, put that on the man.

I thought, oh, a little man aren't going to be interested in a woman who, like, isn't going to be, you know, have a physical relationship with them. But then I also thought, you know, that's not fair, because I want that, too. Mm-hmm. And I will say this, and then I got to go. but, you know, I've done a ton of work on myself as a human being, as a man, and I love sex beyond loving sex. I love it incredibly. And I've been with my wife for 24 years, married for 17 or something like that, 23 years. And our sex has always been incredible. And now when you're young, you have

sex like 80 times a day, you know, and that's it. But I will say, though, that five or six years ago I went to this place called the Hoffman Institute to sort of deal with a lot of my childhood sort of pain and the things that I went through. And, you know, there's a whole other story that I've told a thousand times on this show. But it allowed me to be comfortable in my vulnerability. It allowed me to express the way that I feel to Aaron, my wife, without feeling fear. Because there was a lot of fear of saying, oh, my God, I love you so much and you're everything to me and I don't know what I'd be without you.

and all of these things that I would want to say, but I couldn't. Yeah. And our sex, which was already fantastic, increased beyond the vulnerability and this idea that men need to have sex to feel connected and women need to feel connected to have sex. There might be some truth in that, but I will say, and I'm about to go on the Drew Barrymore show on Wednesday or Thursday,

and I think I'm going to even talk about this. I love that. But I think that when men can truly feel connected and truly feel vulnerable, the sexual experience just opens way, way up. Way up. You know, and it's not just about being physical anymore. There's a deeper connection that allows inhibitions to just melt away, even though we've been together for 20 years.

really interesting I totally agree with you and I would love to have this conversation at the end of the finale because I could probably give a lot more insight on my feelings as they went forward but I can't do it yet because we're not at that part of the season

but I totally agree with you that the intimacy of the physical part of it is like great physical great okay we all get that but when you like the emotional part emerges with the physical part it's fantastic Oh, gosh, yeah. No, I know.

I agree with you. Well, this has been so fun. I love how candid you are and open you are and, you know, I want to keep in touch. This is the best podcast I've been on you. It's really, like, insightful questions. Oh, thank you. No, I'm interested. I mean, I'm, it's just there's, you know, I love love and I know it's a fucking journey.

And, I mean, you know, even to be the other for 20 plus years like I have, there's work, man. You got to work at it. This is the best relationships are, you know, have, honestly, sometimes the most work. You know, I don't want to just sail. I totally agree with you. I have a friend who is a family, like a couple's therapist, and her husband is a divorce attorney. And they have a podcast. And it is so interesting because they have such this weird dichotomy.

And the way that they approach their marriage is still good. And it's so, like I listen to them now, like hoping that I have that one day. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. When you email me, shoot me the name of that podcast. I will, I will do that. They will love that you listen.

Thank you so much. Thank you. This was awesome. Thank you for having me. I'll be watching. Thank you. I'll be watching. All right.

Thank you. I'll be listening. All right. Bye, Oliver. Bye. Wow. Okay. Yes.

Fun, fun conversation. She's, she's pretty awesome. I feel like I said the same shit every time after these interviews. They're amazing, which is just, I guess, the truth. but love her story, love her spirit, love her hesitation, honestly, you know, and sort of entering this new world, four kids. I mean, I'm excited to see what happens. Everyone tune in.

Not that you're not already, but tune into this show. I'm tuning in. I'm going to watch. Anyway, I got to go. Bye. A podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families,

it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally, like, in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one.

We sit down with politicians, artists and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The Moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's your favorite Jersey girl, Gia Judi. Welcome to Casual Chaos, where I share my story. This week, I'm sitting down with Vanderpump Rural Star, Sheena Shea. I don't really talk to either of them, if I'm being honest. There will be an occasional text, one way or the other, from me to Ariana,

maybe a happy birthday from Ariana to me. I think the last time I talked to Tom, it was like, congrats on America's Got Talent. This is a combo you don't want to miss. Listen to Casual Chaos on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Podcast. Betrayal Weekly is back for season two with brand new stories. The detective comes driving up fast and just like screeches right in the parking lot.

I swear I'm not crazy, but I think he poisoned me. I feel trapped. My breathing changes. I realize, wow, like he is not a mentor. He's pretty much a monster. But these aren't just stories of destruction. They're stories of survival. I'm going to tell my story and I'm going to hold my head. up. Listen to Betrayal Weekly on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast, The Curse of America's Next Top Model.

I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show. I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia issues by talking to the models, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls. And they, the If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, what did you help her? Listen to the curse of America's next top model on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.