Sidebar: A Suits Watch Podcast - The Can-Opener Special

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

They asked, and you answered! This week, Sarah and Patrick are discussing YOUR theories behind the infamous can-opener scene in the Season 1 finale. They involve canned fruit, pure magic, cans of whoop-ass, and thumbtack juries? There are no bad theories (at least for Sarah), and we hear them all!  And that is case closed on Season one of Sidebar! Thank you all for joining us, and for all of your input and support, we loved revisiting Season 1 of Suits with you. As we head into hiatus we would love to hear from you. Please do us a favor and send us your feedback at [e-mail]. Tell us what you really loved, maybe even what you loved less, and what you want to hear more of! As always, feel free to write us a review, wherever you get your podcasts! We look forward to sidebarring with you again soon! Until then be well, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts. 

I was talking to Patrick on the phone yesterday, and I was like, I don't know if I'm getting sick. He was feeling sick, and I was like, I might be getting sick, but everything aches. And then I was like, or we went bowling. Are you still hurting? That's definitely what it was. There's a lot of pain points.

You roll hard. I don't know if people know that about you, but you roll hard. It wasn't even a one arm situation. Your whole body was in it. Your whole body. I mean, the first thought that came to my mind when I saw you do this was, what a lovely plie.

That's exactly what it looked like. Hi, I'm Patrick Adams. And I'm Sarah Rafferty. And this is Sidebar, a Suits Watch podcast where we watch episodes of the show and discuss. But this week, it is all about you, friends. We asked for your can opener theories and you absolutely delivered. We're so excited to get into that. But first...

Let's just give an official happy birthday to our very own Keiki Schrader. Happy birthday Kiki Schrader. Thanks guys. She turned 24. I did. And she has her whole life out in front of her. Truly Kiki, what a gift you've been to this process. Again for those of you who don't know, and it bears repeating, this would not happen without Kiki. She's been a dear friend for a long time. She worked on Suits for years as a publicist. Then she got out of that game, smart.

Then she became my publicist, terrible idea. Stop doing that. And then now we decided to all do this together and it's been wonderful. So thank you, happy birthday happy birthday thank you I'm so happy to be here also you and I were at a book release last night maybe a shout out for our friend my dear friend and one-time talent manager Andrew Corrin has written his first novel about his mom and the passing of his mother it's a beautiful book it's called dirtbag queen and we were both at the book release party last night.

And it's worth shouting out. If you're out there in the world, pick up a copy. It's a beautiful book. Dirtbag Queen. Dirtbag Queen, Andy Corrin. But other than that, you good? Where you at? Should we just-

Touch the tips. Touch the tips? You good? There's something I need for my birthday. What's that? So I got my first fan letter. Oh yes you did. So I'm gonna read it to you guys. Yes please.

You did? Yeah this is what I want for my birthday. It's to read you my fan letter. And it says, just wanted to say I am enjoying the pod and love hearing Kristen's name each week as that is my name as well. And my nieces and nephew call me Kiki.

So it just makes me feel happy to hear a Kristen getting recognized in the world. Keep up the tidbits, chats, counts and insights. I was a fan of the show from the pilot on and thrilled to have a relook at it with your pod as I further delve into Suits Life. And that's from Kristen in Chicago, who was listening during a four hour delay at O'Hare.

Thank you for listening, Kristen. Thank you for sending our beloved Kiki the wishes and the love. I feel special. You should. I actually wrote that. This is awkward. So weird.

I'm glad you got a piece of fan mail. You deserve it. You deserve more than one piece of fan mail. Aw. You get my fan mail. I do get your fan mail. I actually really do sometimes get your fan mail. About once a year on your birthday,

you get it written out of the cart. No, I get, no, I get it. Oh, you literally physically get my fan mail. I actually get Patrick's fan mail. Oh, that's good. In the mail. That's good. Anything else?

How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Getting back into the swing here. Nice. I'm excited to have this very special episode because you and I, who would like to prepare for this show, are completely unprepared. This is fun.

Listen here, we have not looked at this document. We talked last week, threw out to the audience to give us their ideas about what the can opener was about. I had a lot of questions. I did not understand the finer points of the can opener. I understand that we are not here to solve the can opener, but I thought for years we've been asked what it is and what happened and what it could be and the answer is always the same.

The whole point is that we don't know. But then we threw it out to our fans and said, but what do you think? What could it have been? And so anybody listening to this should know that we haven't read this. We will be discovering it in real time with you. We will dig into the enduring legacy of the can opener. Let's start with Alicia from Spain. Oh, hi Alicia.

We know as M. Moors Rafferty. How do I, M. Moors Rafferty? Mandy Moore. Mandy Moors Rafferty? Yeah. Mandy Moors Rafferty. I like having my name like right up there next to hers. Okay, well, Alicia from Spain says, Mandy Moore's rafting. I like having my name like right up there next to hers. With me, Mandy Moore.

Okay, well, Alicia from Spain says, Harvey and Donna's can opener ritual is actually their secret code for making high stakes decisions that could change the course of their lives or careers. Just think about it. Harvey is all about calculated risks and Donna has an almost supernatural intuition. The can opener isn't just a quirky tradition,

it's their way of consulting fate in moments when logic and gut instinct collide. Instead of flipping a coin or drawing straws, they use the can opener as a symbolic gesture to unlock the best possible outcome. The process, Donna, this is great, I can't wait, Donna holds the can opener and Harvey has to make his choice before she pretends to open an imaginary can. If he hesitates

or second guesses, they know the decision isn't right. But if he sticks to his answer with confidence, it's a go. The can opener is mystical. The love is mystical. That was a great needle drop once on Suits. We'll get to it. But the can opener is a mystical tuning fork here. It's like a magic eight ball, but better. I'm into this, Alicia. That is cool. Yeah, I'm way into it.

I love the idea that it's, that it's like, I'm imagining you doing it. I'm imagining you in the room and just turning this like a magic can. Which also feeds into the like, it's not that embarrassing. Like you could have, remember we talked about how you guys were about to do it publicly and then you sort of decide to do it privately, which says whatever it is can't be that weird. While this would be weird, it would also be a person just sitting there turning a thing.

Like you could get away with doing that at your desk. Yeah, it could be super groovy. It could just be like a little like. Groovy baby, we're just playing can opener. You know what I mean? We're just can opener groovit. We're slow jamming with the can opener. I like this.

It's like a move. It's like when you dance and you're doing the like sprinkler or you're doing the like, I don't know, the pudding. There's a dance involved in this too? Yeah. Are you making fun of me? No, no, no, I'm just gonna continue please. Oh, well I think, no.

Are we rolling? Do we have it tight? Yeah, let's just make sure. You're not rolling. Mark that for the socials. Edit machine. No, I'm just saying, you know, like you can do the dance, like the walk in the dog dance.

I'm walking my dog. I'm taking the groceries and putting them in the basket. Right? So you can be doing the can opener. Harvey and Donna can just be like slow jamming can opener That's my question to you without making fun of you Are you saying that you think there's a dent in this world where it was this you're asked? Great question hold on hold on hold on

What we've just read here from Alicia from Spain is in the script Yep, and now you have to shoot this scene. What we're learning here is that you would come into this scene and your inclination, your instincts as a world class wonderful actor is that you'd add a little dance to it. There would be, okay you know how we talked about Rick? You're dancing right now so you can't, you can't not. You have to embody it baby. Do you think Gabriel would have met your dance with his dance? Oh, I mean, look, nobody can meet a dance better than Gabriel.

That guy has serious talent when it comes to dancing. So I like to think he would. I don't know if Harvey Specter would meet Donna's. I know Gabriel would meet Sarah's. But would Harvey Specter meet Donna's? I mean, maybe. I think so. Because it's a safe space. I love this.

I love the idea of whatever we're about to read here. We have to actually imagine it in real time that it was shot. Okay, and the last button that I will put on this thing that Alicia said is that she said, it's their way of consulting fate. So she just made the can opener an oracle. Well I'll push back a little bit on that because the can opener is not revealing anything the can opener is a timing

device which is what's neat about it it holds no wisdom it's not as if you're like worshiping at the feet of the can opener and this idea. No, but when you go to the altar of it, you get some messages. Yeah, but not, but I don't know if that's actually, that's actually what I think is kind of cool about what Alicia's saying is that really it's just there as a timer. You're holding it. Without you turning it, it is meaningless. You're turning it so that by the time you've completed the opening of this theoretical can, he has to have made his decision. So it's really just a way to put you both in a zone where there is a amount of time,

a limited finite amount of time in which you guys need to decide if his idea is one that his gut truly sticks to or if he's waffling. I'm gonna say something. This is the first time I've been mansplained that his gut truly sticks to or if he's waffling? I'm gonna say something. This is the first time I've been mansplained that I've liked it. I don't know if that's a mansplain. My friend who's a man just mansplained me a thing and I'm down.

I don't know, but is this man, did I just mansplain? No. Is that a mansplain? I might be. No, that is not a mansplain. I got a lot of nods. Is that a mansplain? Is that a mansplain? I might be. No, that is not a mansplain. I got a lot of nods. Is that a mansplain? Is that a mansplain?

There's a lot of women in the other room. I didn't get mansplain. That was not, I was just giving you. I wanna be hyper aware. I've only got women in my life. So I need to be very sure that I'm not mansplaining. No. Really, that's what I'm actually just,

I wanted to point out, that's what makes me actually amazed by this idea is that the can I'm actually just, I wanted to point out, that's what makes me actually amazed by this idea is that the can opener is just like, it truly is just a tool. It's the magic of you two. It's your strength and his strength coming together and just using this as a way to time it. I think that's pretty cool.

Love it, love it, thank you. So Patrick, Jennifer has a clarification. She says, Patrick, you did not, capital letters, Patrick, you did not, count the letters, Patrick, you did not know what the can opener is for in the finale of season one. What? You may have seen it before, but I think Sarah was right. Oh, I like where this is going.

But I think Sarah was right in that you were letting Harvey know you saw that he and Donna were trying to hide it. Because in a later episode, you say to Harvey, are you finally going to tell me what you do with the can opener? So you have no idea what they do at this point, she says. Fair enough. Thank you, Jennifer. I think I wish I could go back and shoot that moment again. If I'm remembering right,

the moment is I see him, he hands you subtly the can opener. It's behind his back to you, you grab it to hide it. It's like a baton pass. And then I go, don't think I didn't see that can opener. Right, and what we talked about the other day was that I was like, what? I feel like Mike, if that was the first time

he was seeing it, that I'd have more of a reaction. Like, what, was that a can, like, it, then I'd have more of a reaction like, what, was that a can, like, what's that? Why did you have a can opener? It would be more mysterious to me, and I'd be less comfortable with it. I'd like to go back and reshoot it. Okay.

If we could just get that on the books, let's get down to the suits L.A. sets. Well, why don't we just rebuild in Downsview? Yeah, okay. Let's get back to Canada, get the crew back together. We'll just fix that. Thanks, Jennifer, for your clarification. I appreciate you guys diving into the future here.

Athena also has a tiny spoiler that will be helpful with some of the theories. I have to remind you that not only is a can opener involved in said ritual, but down the road in a flashback, we find out that there are also thumbtacks involved, and three dozen of them means they're going for a record. Well done, of course. Right. I forgot about that. Right. Right. How could we apply the thumbtacks to the first thing? I wish we had like

her phone number. I want to call Alicia with her theory about the can opener as the mystical timing device and then how she has to add in the thumbtacks. To her theory. Well look, the thing is, that's particularly, it's a particularly hard assignment for our imaginations when in reality we have a keen understanding of Aaron Korsch's personality,

and that he was just messing with all of us by adding thumbtacks to it. Well he was messing from the beginning with the can opener he was messing with. But he's like, I'm just gonna make it even more impossible to get your brain around. Which is what's fun to do what we're doing, which is like, now we're gonna figure it out.

I put that to you, Alicia. Put the thumbtacks into your equation. Do we have any instinct on it? Anything that comes to mind? On the thumbtacks? Yeah, what you could do with them? Well, people have their theories. Oh, are we gonna get to that?

Oh, yeah. Oh, with the thumbtacks? Yeah, we should go ahead. We have people with thumbtacks in their theories. Oh, God. You guys are crushing it. You guys gotta trust me here. You're on a ride. I'm the driver. Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, read us the next thing, Sarah. I'm gonna surrender, I'm gonna surrender.

Okay, back to the theories. We have a reference here that could highlight any generational divides. Audrey theorizes Don and Harvey do the St. Elmo's fire chant of boogaloo boogaloo boogaloo ha ha ha. But instead of just placing their hands together as they bend down, they added the can opener, and as they raise their hands at the end of the chant, they mimic pulling the wishbone with the can opener. Is there a wishbone involved in the boogaloo boogaloo boogaloo? No, I think the can opener looks like a wishbone. No, no, no, but I'm asking...

No, I don't think so. There's no... we're not mimicking a thing. No, we're getting very specific about... Pulling the wishbone with the can opener, after some effort, Donna lets Harvey win... Yes, she does. ...as he heads to trial. Yes, she does. The end.

Do you remember this movie? You were not born. It's been a long time. Yeah. Can we see it? I can't remember who met who first. All I can remember is the seven of us always together.

Does anyone unknown in the film St. Almost Fire what that chant does or represents or why they do it? Can you ask your chat GPT? Because that's key to this theory I think. And make her get mad at you in the answer of it. Hi chat GPT how are you today? I'm doing well Patrick. How about you? I'm pretty good. I'm good. I'm good It's a weird question, but in St. Elmo's fire There's a part where all the characters do this chant boogaloo boogaloo boogaloo ha ha ha Can you tell me why they do the chant in the movie like what the point of it is? Sure thing in St. Elmo's fire that bo that boogily boogily chant is a nostalgic

callback for the characters. They use it to reconnect with their shared college days, symbolizing their friendship and youth. It's a reminder of simpler times when they were all united and carefree. This scene shows how they're struggling with adulthood and their desire to hold on to their bond as life changes. Would you like to chat more about the movie or anything else? No, that's amazing. I thank you so much. Real quick, can you promise that you're not going to destroy all of mankind at any point? I appreciate you asking.

My purpose is to assist, support, and be a helpful companion. I'm here to work with people in a positive and safe way. If you ever have questions or concerns, I'm always open to discussing them. I'm going to hold it. I'm going to hold you to that. You can absolutely count on me. Okay. I got to discussing. I'm gonna hold it. I'm gonna hold you to that you can absolutely count on me Okay, I gotta go. We got a podcast. Take care. Bye. Okay, so if she was real She'd be real pissed at how much you interrupted her. Yeah, I'm sorry that is that was but I'm also I realized it's a podcast

God I can not get even a man's planning to chat GPT Jesus this is so good though. I kind of love that Even I'm mansplaining to chat GPT. Jesus. This is so good though. I kind of love that Audrey theorizes that, that it's like a little bit of an ego boost for Harvey. Like it's a little bit of like mask, not emasculating him, but emasculating him. Like, oh, you're so strong.

You win the wishbone, blah, blah, blah, blah. I like the idea that it's just a pep. It's just a like, it's a thing. Like, let's just get you energized, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. But the can opener, in this one, it's a little hard for me to go

for the journey of why the can opener's involved. Oh, because you haven't seen why the can opener is involved is actually on camera. We filmed the scene in a diner. There's a can opener and they get the idea. Like the can opener exists because of the moment. I mean, where was this in the conversation? What?

I forgot. I don't know this. There's a scene where you guys explain what the can opener is. We don't explain what we do with a can opener, but we see the Genesis. I said this in our podcast. Oh, I forget. We see the Genesis. Are you listening to me?

I guess I'm not, that's totally, it's not like a panic attack. We see the Genesis of the can opener. We see them sitting in the diner. No, it's on the, he grabs it off the waiter. Right, right. And I tell him he's an idiot or moron or whatever. Okay, all right, right.

But we see the moment that he's just like trying to come up with it. And it is again a moment of reconciliation. Now that I'm thinking about it, because when we saw the can opener at the end of season one, he was out of time, he hadn't apologized, he had to apologize first. And the time before that we see later in a flashback,

he does kind of have to mend things with Donna. And they figure out how they're gonna move forward. Yeah, okay. I'm just having a hard time imagining the chanting and the pulling apart of the thing. It's just, I see that. I think this is really good. Like it's a boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo, ha ha ha.

And then there's like a, mm, just like if we did some stupid, come on, did some stupid like floppity floppity, whiz, whiz, spin, spin, spin. And then we grab a can opener. Then we grab the thing and then we're like, ooh, yeah, off. You know, like, wait, have you ever been on a team playing a sport? Now we're into my trauma.

I don't know why we have to go there. I specifically asked you not to bring up team sports on this one. Okay let's get into the next one. Next Emily says they got drunk one time in the DA's office, had music on and Harvey started singing along using the can opener as a microphone. Donna joined in because she's a musical theater queen. Does that mean, and then Adam and Katie also suggested the can opener as a makeshift microphone, but for practicing Harvey's opening statement. Oh so it's more practical. So one time

they're in the office they're drunk they're they do a little mic thing. Yeah what do we do? And all of a sudden you get him to practice tomorrow's opening statement. Every now and then. That's what they're singing. No you have to finish it. No. Are you being me? New rule. No, new rule. You gotta start. That's Kiki, guys.

Both of you. Bright eyes every now and then I fall apart. And I need you now tonight. And I need you more than ever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever.

And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever.

And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever. Wow. Good luck with that. So that happens. Enjoy making that something listenable. I mean, good word. So yes, they're in the room. They're singing that song They're having a ball and then at some point it transitions into like practice your now you're loose They're loose and he's like now do your opening statement tomorrow and he's like, no, I don't want to do it She's like do it and then he does it and it's great and that's now their new thing

Like let's go in the room you get that can opener to remind him and that's now their new thing. Like, let's go in the room, you get that can opener to remind him to be loose and confident. Yeah, so it's a warm up. I mean, I kind of think about, do you watch tennis? Do you know how Nadal has all of his things that he does before he serves, including fixing his wedgie? Like all the different, all those things.

And I'm always asking tons of questions if it's on to about that. That's like a lore, like I have to do all those things before I serve for luck, right? So I feel like Harvey is especially because now Donna has been lording it over him that she's not available to do the can opener until he apologizes, that he's like, I can't do it, like I can't go without doing this. I need it.

Yeah. I mean, I think that applies to all the theories. It's part of the prep, right? Don't you think? Yeah. Like all of these, that's baseline. All right. Isabella thinks Harvey and Donna take turns holding the can opener and confess something totally silly to each other. For example, Donna holds the can opener and confesses, I may or may not have switched your coffee order once for a decaf just to see if you'd notice. You didn't. Then Harvey confesses, I secretly judge people who don't like pineapple on pizza. It's delicious. So it's a truth. It's like a truth teller. It's like I'm, I'm, I hold the can opener.

Holding the conch or whatever. Yeah. yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Truth. You have to do truth. We could do that with each other. What would you choose if we did that here on Sidebar? What would our item be? What would you have to hold in your hand to make you tell the truth? Where's Aurora's fox?

Oh yeah, where's fox? Not here. Not here. No truth today, people, no truth today. Yeah, you'll get the truth today. I mean, I'll just tell the truth anyway. I've never not told him the truth. Like, that would not even have been true.

We've already had this conversation. We have had this conversation. Damn! I like that, that's fun. I like that it has to be silly and confessional. As a lapsed Catholic, I appreciate the confessional piece. Thank you, Isabella. Why don't you tell us what Jasmine has to say?

Jasmine says that the can opener is a judge, the thumbtacks are the jurors. Wait a minute. And Donna is there to listen to him. It's how Harvey practices his opening statement. This makes sense because when Harvey says three, two, one, back in the finale of season one, he opened his mouth to start to talk until Donna stopped him and said that it's better if they go into his office. Very good point. His opening statements would have been private

so that she would wanna move him. And he was prepared to go on a three, two, one. It's like a jump off. Maybe it's like, you know, kind of before you go on stage, you wanna clear everything. And one way to do that is to count backwards from five or something, you can sort of clear your brain and reset. But are we saying like the can opener,

like is the judge like it's put somewhere and it's like, now I'm speaking to the judge? Oh, it's like they set up the space is the way I saw it. But that's, yeah, so, and the can opener is like put in a place that it's the judge? It's right here like they set up the space is the way I saw it. But that's, yeah, so and the can opener is like put in a place. Yeah, like it's right here. And the thumbtacks are all the, and this is the jury's box. This is where the judge is going to, it's like setting it up.

It's like the mock version of it. So you use your points of focus, the can opener is the judge, the thumbtacks are the jury, and I'm just here to give you notes. As your friend. I have a different version, and an adaptation that I'm going to go with here. Go, go. You're the judge. Because I have a different version and an adaptation that I'm gonna go with. Go, go! You're the judge. Because I'd like the version of this version where Donna's more important. Donna's the judge. Donna's there to take it in and give notes. I like the microphone. This has become the microphone because of some past thing. The tax or the jurors. Okay, so you just took

Isabella and Jasmine and put them together. It's a super cut. I'm super cutting it. Yeah. Because I want you to be more active. I don't understand the making the, in this one I don't understand the making the, the can opener, the judge. It's too inanimate. Mm, right. Like he's gotta talk to you.

Right. That's why you're there. You're more important than the can opener. And I like the can opener as a tool. Yeah. That comes out of something that happened with the two. And I like the jurors as thumb tacks, like little things that can hurt you if you're not careful. Ooh, whoa, yeah, that's deep.

They don't necessarily hurt if you play it properly, but they can't hurt you. They can be very utilitarian. So a reminder, you gotta watch out for those tacks. Yeah, everybody needs. But he needed 13, didn't he? Is that what we said? Everybody needs. But he needed 13, didn't he?

Is that what we said? No, there comes a point where they say three boxes or three dozen thumb tacks is going to be a record. Maybe there's something where the thumb tacks are the jurors and like every time he screws something up, he loses a juror. But I also think he's a basketball guy, right? So we got to throw him into a thing. And with each point that he makes,

maybe he throws a thumbtack and then he gets it in the hoop and it's like, he's just on a roll. He just like dunks his thumbtacks and he just feels like Jordan and he's off to the trial. And he's gone. I'm into this. There's something here. There he's gone. I'm into this. There's something here. There's something here.

I'm really impressed so far. This is amazing. You guys have cracked it. Like this is so good. Samantha and Sophie both think the ritual involves whiskey and Connor thinks that Harvey and Donna use it to shotgun beers. Dragos adds that first of all Dragos has got the best name of today. Dragos adds that the can opener might be used to open a hidden bong in Harvey's office.

Definitely that. Is Connor, did Connor call in from Scotland once? He did, yes. It's nice to hear him back with us. Good memory. Great memory. Also, hi Sophie. I know you.

And then Kiki was not ready for this one. John says, minutes before Harvey's first trial ever, he says to Donna, time to go open a can of Whoop-Ass. Donna puts her hand up in a stop motion and says, wait one minute, goes to the break room, gets a can opener, comes back, tells Harvey. Whoa! Wait a minute, bend over.

Harvey bends over, Donna, wait a minute, bend over. Harvey bends over, Donna takes the can opener, puts it near his left butt cheek and twirls the handle like she's opening a can. This is actually funny. Repeats the motion on his right cheek and then smacks him on the ass, whoop ass, go. Harvey kicks ass in the trial and the ritual is born. So in order for Harvey to open up a can of whoop ass, Donna must literally open his can and whoop his ass.

I do remember. John, they're looking for another writer in the Suits LA writer's room if you're available, because you've just won. I definitely did say something to Gabriel about a can of whoop ass, when we were like, what is this thing?

But I did not think about the actual physicality of any kind of ritual. And that's why we're here today. So thank you for the visual, John. Thank you so, so much. Put this on the list to shoot it. Should we call Gabriel and ask him if it's OK if we talk about this? It'll be fine. Because it's hard to unsee it in our mind's eye.

That's the glory of it. And then he does a high kick when he's done, because Gabriel's really good at those. Very limber. Very lithe, very limber. Yvonne, Erica, and Debra. Oh, who we know is Dee Dee. Oh, Dee Dee.

That's Kiki's mom, everybody. Hi, Dee Dee. Also agree that whatever the ritual, a can of whoop-ass is being opened. Yes, okay, so we've got a team, a whoop-ass team. Can of whoop-ass is a very good angle here, and clearly a bunch of people are feeling it. Then Brie writes...

Wait, I need to stop. This is my favorite one. This is really my favorite. The one I'm about to read? Yes. Okay. Let's take a breath. Touch it. Okay. Brie writes, maybe they really love canned fruit so they see how many cans they can open and eat on a timer. Oh, competitive eating. That's the one thing in my life that I'm completely closed to. We should never competitively eat.

It shouldn't exist in humanity. But Brie has just dropped. What? No, no, no. I mean, yes, I agree, terrible. But before we even get into the finer points of competitive eating, what, I agree. Terrible. But before we even get into the finer points of competitive eating, what, Bree? I love that that's the theory and it comes with no further explanation.

Like all these other explanations have been like, well, wait, hear me out. And it's Harvey, this and she's in that. This is just like, maybe they love canned fruit and they just want to see how many cans they can open and eat it on a timer. This says to me that Brie has at some point in time maybe done some timed eating of canned fruit. No, I don't see that. I think that Brie just has forgotten something really important. And?

That is? The price of their dry cleaning, if they engaged in that, cause they were like couture. They can't be like getting some canned peaches and all that juiciness all over themselves. They don't seem like canned fruit eating people to me. I think the absurdity is what made it my favorite. Yeah, it's an absurd wonderful idea.

I know, but now I could eat a peach right now. I could eat like a- Okay. No. No. Should I eat a peach? That's, I feel like I've been called me by your name. No.

That's not where I was going. You just looked at me so tenderly. No. Should I eat a peach? I was like really scared. Wait, isn't there the J. Edgar- I was aroused. I didn't know what was happening. The J. Edgar proof rock. There's another, this is a poem. Wait a minute't there the J. Edgar Prufrock?

There's another, this is a poem. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Sorry, isn't there a thing? J. Edgar something Prufrock? It's a poem. Should I eat a peach, right? That's true. Don't you dare make fun of me.

You know that poem. You're telling me you know the poem. You're bringing up a T.S. Eliot poem in the middle of us talking about can openers. Why are you putting bumpers on the conversation? I think we should be open to the conversation going anywhere we want. The love song of J. Alfred proof. There we go.

It is Troyan's favorite poem. Well, hang on then, people. Let us go then. I don't know. You and I know you can't read the whole thing. And the evening is spread out against the sky. Like a patient, This is not the demo. This is not the demo.

Upon the table. Let us go, but it ends, where's the part where he says, oh yeah, shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare eat a peach? Shall I wear white flannel trousers and walk upon the beach? I have heard the mermaid singing each to each. Goodbye. And goodbye. We'd really like to end today's podcast there because I feel like we've all

just really felt something together as a collective and I feel like we're all just in a really soft and tender and open place. Thank you so much. Tender. For joining. Like it can't be. Poetry Corner. Thank you for taking us there. Bri, where did we go? Thank you for taking us there, Bri. Okay, Shannon in Ontario thinks the can opener is used as a makeshift baseball to hit the thumbtacks.

Ooh, nice. At a picture of the opposing council, like a baseball bat? A makeshift baseball bat to hit the thumbtacks at a picture of the opposing council in a pinch, a piece of paper with his opponent's name on it would suffice. Or Hardman's face.

Let's just think through the technicalities of attempting to hit a thumbtack with a can opener. Why do you doubt? I'm not trying to be a naysayer, but I mean, we're at the point now, we have got a lot of good theories, I'm gonna have to start weighing them up against each other.

They all win, they all win, there's no losers here. There's not losers, but. Sarah, let me know if you're feeling what I'm feeling, but I'm getting a Brendan vibe from Patrick right now. Brendan and that I'm poo-pooing things? Well, I mean, we're doing a whole podcast about the logistics, so we have to get into the logistics here.

Wait, but you didn't say that you needed it to actually be able to work on Earth, did you? I mean, did you put those bumpers on the request? No, we haven't. I mean, this is a good moment to pause and just say, like, what are we doing here? We're having an existential crisis while we talk about the can opener. We are assessing these theories and seeing which ones really seem to hold water and other

ones like our breeze theory, which just made us read a poem. They're all strong in their own way, but there has to be some adjudication. No, I don't need to listen bro. I don't need to adjudicate Okay, I don't need to do it. I don't we're just here to love everyone Absolutely. Oh gosh, would you like to stop and eat a peach? Oh god Wait, you don't want to do that. No, okay You don't have to eat a peach or love everyone? Love everyone, love all the theories. It's just not my style.

Then let's not, I'm not gonna, you do you and I'll do me. That would be hard, you gotta apply some rules. You do that and I'll just be over here with free love. Just doesn't appear, certain ones are not gonna register for me and I'll just announce, I'll just say that if that happens. I can also attest that Patrick's picking of the nits Yeah, I picked some nits.

does not mean that he's not loving. I love picking nits. If you didn't give me nits to pick, what would I do? The more he picks your nits, the more he loves you actually. Kiki's really good. She's gotten that in her life quite a bit. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. You have to. I've picked your knits. This episode brought to you by... Knit Pickers. Pick Knits. I'm going home and I'm trying. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'll leave it. I'm leaving it alone. Are you going to, are we, okay.

I want now videos, Shannon and Maya, of you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball.

I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball.

I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see you guys hitting baseball. I want to see and I'm trying. I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm joking. I'll leave it, I'm leaving it alone. Are you gonna, are we, okay. I want now videos, Shannon and Maya, of you guys hitting baseball tacks with. Do you didn't keep them feeling safe? I don't think they're gonna send you a video. I'm sorry if you don't feel safe.

You are safe. Let's make some videos of everyone of people hitting thumb tacks with can openers. It just depends on the size of your can opener. I'll tell you about the size of my can opener. Where did we just go? Mallie thinks Donna and Harvey bet how many thumbtacks they can fit in their mouths in a limited amount of time. And whoever loses has to eat lunch with Norma. Oh I like Norma. How do you lose though, by having your mouth bleed out? It is a very, there's a lot of blood in your mouth. So bleeding out, I guess is the thing.

Well, we just love all these ideas though. We're just in a place. Okay, point taken. You just won. Wait a second, take a bow. Yeah, we're just loving it. We're just loving all these ideas. Every idea is perfect in its own little way.

Touche, touche, point taken. Dellen says Harvey and Donna look into each other's eyes with a straight face, count to three, and then they say the first most random sentence in their mind, all the while they hold the can opener between them. They have to keep going until someone laughs. I like that.

That's good, see? Yeah, so it's like who laughs first? Well, we know it's always gonna be Gabriel. Yeah, he's a laugher. He's always gonna laugh first. That's great, I like that. I like the idea that they need to lighten the mood before he does his thing.

You gotta find a way to giggle. So a new Jennifer, not the same as the Jennifer from before, always thought of it as a robot ritual. Donna knows Harvey turns into a robotic lawyer, only focused on killing and winning and defeating enemies, turning off his human feelings. So she pretends to turn his back to power the robot on like an old school doll.

And Harvey says, must destroy, must win, in a robot voice for a few seconds. And this wouldn't always need the can opener should- She could just turn the air, like, deny them. She not have the can opener, she could just turn in the air, like, crack, crack, crack. Okay, this one's weird. This one's weird because, you know,

Gabriel would be really good at it because he can do like a robot. Like he does all that. He does do a very good robot. Yeah. But just the idea that they get into this very sort of ritualistic, performative Kabuki theater vibe. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. This is weird. I like it. Like this one brought to you by Terry Gilliam. Let's keep it weird. Yeah. Yeah, Jennifer. Props to you. I like it, it's dark and weird. I like it. This one brought to you by Terry Gilliam. Let's keep it weird. Yeah. Yeah, Jennifer. Props to you. I like it. It's dark and weird. Props to you, not same Jennifer.

Hell yeah, both Jennifers. Yeah. Because all ideas are beautiful. Shout out to all the Jennifers. Patrick! Mike thinks they make a copy of the top lawsuit page, shred it with the can opener. Symbolic foreshadowing of the legal lawsuit page, shred it with the can opener, symbolic foreshadowing of the legal result they're hoping for. How do you shred paper with a can opener? Is that a thing you can do? I think you can. How could you? It's sharp.

If you were going to shred something, would the first tool you reach for be a can opener? If that's what was next to you, I bet it would be. I bet it would be a pair of scissors in an office let's all just take a moment really sit with it I was trying to just stay quiet just stay quiet I mean what do you think I was trying I was trying to put Patrick was just trying the thing. Seems like scissors would be the better idea. But Mike, I mean, like all the power to you.

Okay, you didn't like Mike's idea. Mike, thank you for calling in. It seems like you lost today. No, Mike, I appreciate you. And I mean, you're wrong, but I'm sure you're right about a ton of other stuff. Okay, and last but not least, Francesca wonders if the can opener is just a metaphor for Donna's ability to make people open up to her. Aww. I like that. So simple.

And I like that it's not explaining the actual mechanics of it. It's more just like, that is your secret power. It's what you're good at. It's what you're good at with Harvey. And whatever it is in there, this thing is involved in that. That's a perfect answer. You picked a favorite. That's my favorite.

Francesca, that's my favorite. Gotta send Francesca some thumbtacks. Just kidding. We shouldn't have any big thumbtacks. Francesca, you're the lucky winner of a can opener and three boxes of thumbtacks. That's a beautiful thing. I like that. I like that that's-

Great. Oh, you picked that one last too. I like that. Because you felt it too. Tips. Tips. That was good. Wow.

That was really fun. Well, that's I mean, that is a lot of great theories. Tips. That was good. Wow, that was really fun. That is a lot of great theories. Guys, I did not fathom that you would come up with all that. Do you think that these ideas were already out there? Like these people had already thought about them? Or did they actually feel compelled to put their thoughts together when we asked for them?

Like have people been thinking this deeply about the can opener for this long or I think yes because people ask us about the can opener so often and I think what we maybe learned though is the next time we're in a public thing where we get asked about it it's actually tell me your theory right because you must have so much more interesting than what we thought. Right. And maybe somebody's just asking because they want to tell too. Because they've already generated these great ideas, like these ideas here.

Like how many more times could we sit here and do a can opener episode? Like every few months we could literally be like, hey. It would be my dream. Are you being sarcastic? No. If I could sit and just talk about this can opener for the rest of time. Do you remember you wanted to call the podcast the can opener? That was at one point the name of the podcast. I think we made the right move not doing that.

You do? Don't you think? Do you wish this podcast was called the can opener? All the ideas are good. Every idea is beautiful in every individual way. Well guys, that's the end of our very special can opener episode. Thank you all for diving in and being willing to share your

sometimes wonderful, sometimes weird, sometimes simple, sometimes complicated, but all beautiful ideas. And kind of poetic. That was really really fun. Okay, so that is a wrap on your can opener theories. Thank you so much to everybody who emailed us their ideas and for listening to Sidebar. Yes, thank you so much for joining us. Now that we're at the end of season one, we're going to go on a bit of a hiatus, but we would love our listeners to write to us at sueterewatch at gmail.com and tell us what you've been

loving about the podcast, what you want to hear more of, maybe what you want to hear a little less of, whatever you think it's really helpful to us moving forward. And we can't wait to hear more from you and to continue the conversation. Thank you guys so much and we'll see you soon. Thank you. Thank you. Sidebar is produced by Sarah Rafferty, Patrick J. Adams, and Sirius XM Media. Our senior producer is Kimmy Gregory, and our producer and researcher is Kristen Schrader.

Our sound engineer is Alex Gonzalez, and our music is by Brendan Burns. Our executive producers are Cody Fischer and Colin Anderson.