Single Ladies In Your Area - Age gap relationships and online dating BEFORE the apps with Katie Norris

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

This week on the podcast we welcome comedian Katie Norris! She talks Harriet through her seven years bad sex, and answers questions like: What are the pitfalls of an age gap relationship? Was MySpace the OG dating app? And can you ever trust a French techno DJ to be a supportive and empathetic partner? (Answer: no).Katie is taking her brand new show Mother Succubus to the Edinburgh Fringe from 5-30 August. For tickets and information head to edfringe.com and follow her on Instagram @katienorris26Amy's taking her brand new show Thanks For Having Me on tour around the UK from Feb 2027. Tickets are on sale from 10am Friday 24 April, just head to plosive.co.uk.And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show Floozy this autumn. For tickets and dates head over harrietkemsley.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodProduced, recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photo by Paul Gilbey.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill And I'm Harriet Kemsley We're both single and in our 30s And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene And the landscape has changed Everyone has settled down But we're back out there And we're desperately trying to figure out

What the hell we should be doing So we're going to speak to experts Chat about dates we've been on If we managed to get any And share your tips and horror stories So we all feel less alone We might even get our exes on Yeah, we'll see about that

This is Single Ladies in Your area. Hello. Let me introduce you to this week's episode of the podcast. Wow. It's so weird being like a tourist in my own house. It's like I take you behind the curtain.

Amy, welcome to the podcast. Wow. It's a good one. Is it? I imagine one week if I'm like, it's a bad one this week. Yeah, this one, you didn't miss anything. It's a good one. We've got your friend and mine, Katie Norris on.

Oh, I love Katie. Yeah, she's really funny. Yeah, funny. Really funny. She talks about her old boyfriend. Excuse me? Yeah. It's fun.

Not enough people talking about their old boyfriends. As in, like, an ex-boyfriend, as in like an elderly boyfriend. Both. Oh, Katie. Oh, dear. It's fun. Is it? How old do we talk?

Actually, do you know what? Don't, I don't want too many spoilers. Come on, Amy. Yeah, nice to have a little bit. It was a surprise. I'm a little bit of us. How old is it? What exactly?

Tell me the whole episode before I listen to the episode. Well, that's fun. I don't know about that. I do know from car shares with Katie, some of her past, and I will say she isn't the best picker of men. Wow, from us. From us.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I mean. I was in the car looking at her being like, but you're so cool and funny and hot. Why are you struggling? That's, I've found that very interesting. And we talk, she had this, has this period of these boys. And elderly man.

The elderly man was actually great. Oh, really? Yeah, really nice to get a nice old one sometimes. She's got a lovely boyfriend now who is useful. Can you imagine? No. Yeah, she talks all about having a useful boyfriend. It's enlightening.

Oh my God. She's bloody done it. Yeah. She's gone. and done the thing. She's found the unicorn. Yeah. The useful man.

Yeah. Age appropriate? Yeah. God. She's really done it. Yeah. God. Well, I can't wait to find out how.

Because I'm going to get a pen and paper and write down exactly how she found this man. Amy, get out your pen and paper. Let's have a listen. This is Katie Norris. Uh-oh. It looks like I've met a turtle again. Oh, hello. Hi.

I'm very excited to be here with you. I'm very excited. It's not because we've not really... This is it. I feel like I know you, but I don't. Oh, that's... I know. Yeah, well, obviously, same.

Is that creepy? I've replaced you on a gig before. Oh, my God. I don't know what happened where you were. Why weren't you in Southampton? Oh, God. Oh, dear. On International Women's Day.

Oh, no. Let me live on Women's Day. Come on. I was celebrating your own style. Come on. Come on. It's my worst thing is canceling a gig. I like, I literally go through like such a roller coaster

of emotions. I feel like a wretched person like cancelling anything. I take it so personally. And then... Sensational. I've never felt more alive. You really can enjoy an evening when you're not, you weren't meant to have it. Oh my God. I know. There's nothing worse of waiting for a gig when you can't be asked. Yeah. Yeah. And then the thought, you know, sometimes they're like, we're really sorry, but it might not go ahead. And you're like, oh, you're just pretending that you're sorry as well. And then you're like, oh, why are we not all just thrilled about this?

Nobody wants to go anywhere or do anything. Are you single? No. What are you doing here? This is, get her out. This is bullshit. But also, no, it's very new, though. It's very fresh.

Well, I feel like you have been a single person for a while. Is that true? Seven years, chronically single. Last single friend of friendship group. Your whole body has redeveloped because you know that yourselves redevelop every seven years. You're a whole different person.

Yeah. And I had seven years bad sex. Did you? Yeah. The whole time you're single, it was bad. Is this the moment when I wake up at three in the morning in three days and think I shouldn't have said that. I said before that you might wake up. No, I won't that.

The sex has been really bad and you all need to take account. My body count is so high. And you all need to take accountability for the fact I've had no orgasms for seven years. Yeah. Do you think it's a you problem or do you think it's them? I think a mixture of both, definitely. My standards were so low. Yeah.

What, so, okay, so let's go back. Oh, oh my God. This is so exciting. There's so much to say. Okay. Okay. Okay. So you, have you had, you had, did you have a long-term relationships before that?

Yeah. So my, I was in a long-term relationship for about six years and then we broke up in just before the pandemic or yeah a couple of years before and then we tried again in the pandemic it didn't work out well people are desperate in the pandemic you have to you have to try what you could you know I thought we were going to die yeah and that was a really lovely relationship we're still friends um he was a he was older than me was much older he was um so he had an age gap of about nearly 30 years but it was really lovely relationship oh sorry I thought that was a joke is that serious 30 years wow older of course I'm 68

I'm Cher. I don't know how old chair is. I'm usually of it. Wow. Okay. That is a substantial gap. It was. It was and still is because that's how age works.

That's why we got back together in the pandemic. You were like, yeah, he could have died. I had to take care of him. We had to bubble up. It was famously difficult, yeah, for people in that bracket. Yeah, good for you. Although he's healthier than both of us. Yeah.

Honestly, he could run a part. He did the part run in about 18 minutes. Wow. In his wheelchair. I'm kidding. I love that man so much. He's awesome. I love that old man. I love the old man.

No, the thing is, we... People think when you have an age gap relationship that you have something like daddy issues. Yeah. Yeah, they're right. But he was still... My dad was really old when I was born. My dad was like 50.

Yeah. And so he was still... My ex was still like nearly 30 years younger than my dad. Yeah. And also he was a similar age to my brothers who were all much older than me. So for me, age was never like... It's more like a brother issue.

It's not daddy issue. It's a brother issues. It's part as an issue. But yeah, it's, I've never, I don't, people think that you have a fetish for older men when you have an age gap relationship, but I've never fancied any other older men. It's a specific to this old man.

He was, yeah, just a great guy. He is a great guy. He's not dead. Yeah. Survived the pandemic. But were there, were there any challenges dating someone so much? I think so, because I think when we met, I was in my early 20s,

and I think I just didn't have those, like, the same needs as I do as a 35-year-old. I was kind of just living in the moment and I just met him. We kind of like fell in love and then stay together and it was just really lovely. And then when I got closer to 30, I started thinking about marriage kids. The big questions. Yeah. And then even though we still loved each other and cared for each other, I broke up with him because I was like, I just, I don't want to deny myself the opportunity to have like a family like he'd had already.

Yeah. And so we broke up. And then I did, I was single for seven years. Yeah. That's a hard breakup, I think, when it's not because you don't love somebody. it's because of just live stuff. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah.

And we're still in each other's lives. We're still friends. We don't see each other, but we do catch up and stuff. And it's very, very lovely. Wish the best for each other. But yeah, I really threw myself into the dating scene. Okay.

After we broke up. Because were you in a similar thing to me and Amy where suddenly the apps were around? Because when we got into relationships, there weren't really apps so much? No, I've been a serial app data since before iPhones. Wait. I was on the old.

snake app or whatever I'm lucky I don't understand. Well, like almost like my space, I was kind of using that as like, oh my God, you're an original. This is crazy. I don't even know you could use that. I know. I'm the original catfish. No, but I was using Tinder at drama school. Wow.

This is like back in 2009, 2010. And I did Guardian Soulmates. Do you remember that? Yeah, but that's very early use of Tinder, I think, 2010. Yeah, it was less toxic, definitely, it's more exciting. Yeah. You could just go and meet somebody. You could go meet a DJ in the wild.

Wow. Yeah. Everyone's dream. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So you did what was Guardian Soulmates like? Because that's a really old school one. Is that still around? I guess so. No. No. But I tell you, I did try, you know,

have you ever done, applied for any of these kind of like Guardian blind date column? Do you remember that? I love reading them. I love reading them. I applied for it. And I went as far as the photo shoot where they brought me into the Guardian and took my photo and my jumpsuit and they were like,

they'd matched me with someone. They'd found me a day. and then she emailed me and was like, we found this guy, he's a bit of a fuck boy, but I think it could be like a really fun date for you. And I replied and said, look, like I'm actually really serious about meeting somebody. Yeah, don't make me go into there with a fuck boy.

I'm not, like, even though I've emailed the Guardian date, blind date column. Like, I was like, I just, I. Yeah, I get it. You want to take it seriously. I did think when you said that, that you were going to do the photo shoot and then they were going to go, I'm sorry, we can't find anyone for you.

We can't find you off. They never chase me up with anyone else. I probably didn't think he was old enough. That's why I went into The Guardian, just gone to the Times. There we got. That's what you need. Yeah, like the telegraph,

I think is probably what you really need. Yeah, that's what you need. Do you have a very big age range in your dating apps? What? Because I'm like 10 years above. It's barely legal. You must have a white. Fairly illegal.

It's barely alive. A wide field. Hey, look, I just think it's all about personality. I do agree there. 100%. And caring and, yeah, yeah. And I feel if I, if my nervous is and feels relaxed, then it's, yeah, I'm all yours, baby.

That's how I feel. But I've dated some awful, awful men, obviously. And that's in the last seven years? Always. Like, seven years, bad luck. That's what they say. Something happened that caused you, like, seven years of... Definitely feels like a cycle.

Like a cycle has changed. Something's shifted. I think I, before I met this, the guy that I'm with now, I can't remember the name, but... Your boyfriend? Yes. Wait. That's it.

Sorry. Wait, you can't remember your boyfriend's name. No, I just forgot it. Okay, right, yeah. Because sometimes I go to sort of say other names. Yes. Yeah. You know how it is.

It's hard to remember all of their names. They're all the same names as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All ending in like N and James.

Yeah. Is that one? James, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What name do you think is best in the bedroom? Katie, obviously. Yeah. Or Keith. No, no, was that with the Keith. Okay. So you had bad, you had bad luck for seven years. years.

Bad up for out, but you were really trying. That's the thing. And I admire that because I think that's the thing people get, you get wounded. But I think what's good with stand-up is you get used to the rejection. You get used to the... And I let that play out on stage as well, I think. Almost sometimes to my detriment, I think. I felt like I was painting myself a little bit as a bit of a laughing stock.

Even though I was able to laugh at myself, like, I think sometimes people assumed that... I think I made so many jokes about it on stage that I was, I think my fear was that I was never going to meet anybody because I was, they either, either were scared of being material. I felt like I couldn't be a comedian and have a boyfriend. I've had those exact thoughts. But I think if they're confident enough in themselves, then it's fine. Yeah. This is my thinking.

It's just the insecure ones that are worried about how they come across. Absolutely. And unfortunately, we meet a lot of those in our industry because... You were surrounded by them. Yeah. I think that's why I was going wrong. I was dating men who had a secret desire to do what I do. This is exactly it.

They want your life. Yeah. Yeah. And so they're obviously finding you really exciting. and they want to be around you and they're in your world and they're in your circles. And then it starts to get a bit dark and a little bit like they start to say kind of mean things

like, I don't even know if you are funny. Or, you know, you realize that they're not dating you because they like you. They're dating you because you're a comedian. And so you're just initially like, oh, this is great. Like they really like me. And then they start making weird comments

about other female comedians that they also find attractive and don't realize that they're like your friends and colleagues. whereas to them they're just a fantasy. That's so weird because it's so hard to get into that headspace because all I would be is just like excited for somebody in their career in their life. Yeah. It's so hard to think how they try and control it in that way. Yeah, or it starts to make them feel like, makes them feel inadequate.

Yeah. And they blame you for that. They project that onto you. It's kind of sad. They'll always be sad though, I think. I think so. But so, yeah, I've dated a lot of men like that, creative men, or like want to be creative

faux feminist men oh no oh no yeah so you're finding them on apps and things no in real life as well I'd say actually the worst ones I've met in real life the apps have been fine genuinely because you can just kind of sack off an app and you meet in the context

of a date it's these sneaky ones in real life that lurk up on you don't they in other ways yeah that's a really good point yeah it's a much would you say that you kind of rebounding after your relationship.

Yeah, so when I, when I broke up with the beautiful old man who can do a part run in 18 minutes, I dated a sort of repugnant French techno DJ who I met because I was working on a market in London and he was making the crapes opposite and I was selling the Prosecco and it's quite interesting to see a DJ making crepes because it looked sort of same sort of physical activity, isn't it, bending down and sort of doing this? Anyway, I thought he was really beautiful because he had a lovely. blue eyes. We didn't really speak the same language.

I ended up just sort of getting on that for a while. It was terrible. I had to bring my own bedding to his house. Why? Because he didn't have anything for me. He had no bed sheets. I just came to hospital as well because he had a bum operation. He had like a cyst on his bum that kept coming back

because he had so much internal pain. It was manifesting in his asshole. And I would just sort of be like, are you okay, babe? And I would like make him lasanias and stuff. It was absolutely crackpot. Like I had to take. go as soon as it was over, I had to see a therapist immediately.

This is good. How long did it go on for? About three or four months. Yeah. But I became really addicted to checking his Instagram as well. Like, I'd be up all night checking it like a crazy, crazy bitch. Just looking at photos of him. Yeah, and seeing if he'd liked other girls' stuff.

How do you see that? I don't know if it's good of stuff. Save that for the bonus episode. We'll do a little how-to on that because... Yeah, we'll do a little how to because I became, yeah, really good at it. Then it just kind of, it was less about him, it was more about where I was at, I think.

Yeah. Because he was awful and I didn't like him. I didn't like him at all. He was boring and not funny and mean. I just kind of, I think I just felt really lost and I was still in love with my ex and I just was. But you just cling on to something and think this is, this is it. Yeah, and I just kind of, I think he just brought up a lot of old wounds

and things I needed to work on. And then, so that was a kind of their catalyst for me starting to work on myself. And then I had about two years where I was totally celibate and I didn't date at all. And that was great. That's when I started stand up, basically. Wow. Yeah. So I completely cut ties with any dating.

I didn't, for about, yeah, maybe not two years, about a year and a half. And that led into the pandemic. And then I started to stand up, yeah. I think so often great things can come out of periods like that, either periods of like not dating or periods of not drinking, just having like time that's like two years. that can feel really painful and horrible. An amazing example of this.

Divorce women energy. Divorce can be... Divorce can be useful, I think. I think it gives you... Like, you put your energy back on yourself. I think we so often want to give it to other people. And then when you actually have some energy left for yourself, you realise what you can do.

Exactly, yeah. Like, the breakup show exists for a reason. Like, that kind of reimagining of yourself, that freedom and, like... Yeah, the reinvention of yourself. No one's ever made a falling in love show and it'd be good, which is why I'm so scared about Edinburgh this year. Because you're falling in love.

Because I'm falling in love with a tradesman. He might cheat on you by then. I don't think you will. This is the beauty of it. You just feel confident. Yeah, I'm in a good place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've met someone really lovely.

I want to get into that later. Yeah. My big question right now, though, is did you go to the French DJ's techno gigs? No, I was too embarrassed. You never went. No. You never saw him in his element.

Well, I did on, he'd do those sort of like kind of Bergheim-style videos on Instagram where he was like... Oh, I hate these. I think there's nothing more unattractive than a man. Just, what are they even doing? It doesn't mean anything to me. But then I'd be there at 3am seeing who'd liked it, seeing which skater girl had liked it.

There's always skater girls, aren't they? They're always... Why are boys obsessed with skater girls? This is something I'm not even aware of. Like, I'm not looking at who likes their stuff or... It's just never... You've got to get into it. It seems like a toxic thing.

You've got... I don't get to start, yeah. I can't believe it. So you're looking at people... Because I like things that don't mean anything. I just like like stuff and I think people just like like Well obviously yeah that's true

But you're adding mental When you're mental It's like you've got this kind of detective map Yeah And if they've liked a photo You're like well but they've obviously met And they're obviously together Right

I mean this is very seven years ago sheke So I have moved on since then I just like to say Kind of But do you not ever sort of like Yeah Try and find like exes on Instagram And have a little snoop

Xs I get you have a little snoop But I don't I have friends that do this as well Like they're like oh they can see all this stuff, but I don't understand what it is. We'll have to teach you how to do that, I think. For your own mental health, it's important. This isn't good for my time.

It is really bad because your screen time goes way up. Yeah, yeah. And it's not like a healthy way to be spending your time, really, is it, I guess. Do you think it's specifically London problem dating is bad? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I've been in London over 10 years and my old man ex I met outside of London. We met me in London. He obviously won't be listening to this because, yeah, he's there.

He can't download the podcast now. Yeah. Is it Radio 4? Oh, he loves Radio 4. Luckily, I pop up on that occasionally once every couple of years and they can be asked to put me, the now show. Doesn't exist anymore. RIP.

I, yeah, I haven't met anyone in London at all. I think London is really hard. I think there's so many. It's like you'd think there's so many, but actually so many is bad because there's options everywhere. Terrible. And there's exciting things to be doing. If you're out, if you're out like back where I'm from, you need somebody just to get through the night. You know, because there's not much happening.

But here we've got so many ops. Well, have you done speed dating before? I done that in London. We accidentally done slow dating. But I really want to do speed dating. It's when you're going to date, you think it's speed dating when it's 45 minutes. It's painful. Do you not have a choice?

No. No, we did this dating thing ages ago. Like, they were so sweet, but we thought it was speed dating. And then you sat down and we just sat with the same people. As soon as they sit down, you just know they're not your person. And then it's suddenly like, you're just stuck, making small talk. Oh, God. I just, I know.

Speed dating, I think, is good in and out. Yeah, but three minutes can feel like a really long time when you're sat opposite an 80-year-old man in a toupee. I thought you'd love that. Yeah, which is my ex in disguise. No, this guy, it was supposed to be, you know, because I really desperately wanted to meet someone age-appropriate as you could imagine. And so I went on this.

The speed date, it was supposed to be from 30 to 40-year-olds, and they'd let this sort of, well into 80, it could have been 90, in an old Irish man and a toupee in. They must have felt sorry for him. And so I stuck with him for, what, about like 3 million hours. Yeah, speed dating was quite bad. I've done, I've tried that. What else have I tried, obviously, the Guardian Blind Date column, all the apps. I tried a new one last year called Breeze, where you don't talk before.

Yeah, I've told about Breeze, yeah. That was okay, actually. He was lovely, but... I think it's, because I think often the talking is the, I imagine them in my head. I go on this whole fantasy ride and they turn up and I'm cross with them for not matching

the image I've created. Yeah. They can't help it that's just who they are. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no. Harriet, I've put a dog with tits on my profile.

Have you found men to be like, I mean, even asking this is, I feel like I know the answer, but like respectful. Not always, no. No. Yeah. But the part of that is also

because I didn't really thought I deserve better sometimes. But then I also wasn't responsible a lot for men's behavior. Like, there was times when I shouldn't have pursued something. I should have just been like this guy. I should have cut loose when the first red flag appeared. And I still went, I still kind of went in for the, like, to see if I could change them. But then there

were times, yeah, when I've had experienced dates where their behaviour has been really harmful or disrespectful and that's just like really hasn't. I refuse to accountability for that. Like, that's on you. And, and I think it was happening so much and accumulating over time, that kind of level of disrespect that I was like just so sick of dating in the end. And I, and before I met the tradesman, um, I was like, I'll probably be single forever and I probably will never have children. And I was kind of like accepting that. Yeah, yeah.

And had accepted that. And also it was kind of happy. Very happy, yeah. Because even though I've met someone now, I'm still happy, but my life's not changed. That's it. I think it's so hard when there's, like, actual disrespect. Like, I think that's the thing I'm worried about. Like, you work so hard on, like, building yourself up and your self-esteem.

And I think so quickly it can kind of be, you have to really keep your kind of self. Yeah. And focus on friends and what you love. and family and all of those things because those things need nourishing, like more. Have you had like, like, expristened with ghosting and things like that?

I've been ghosted, I've been fucked and chucked a lot. Like, slept with men. I haven't heard that phrase before, but it's a lovely phrase. Fucked and chucked. Yeah, I've been cheated on fucked and chucked. I've been used as a rebound which was quite painful. I've been sort of choked without my consent

during sex as well. which ended in me going along with it for fear of not. Yeah. And then texting the next day saying that was really bad. You should always ask for consent. Yeah. And then blocking. And then I've also experienced,

I dated a comedian turned therapist. Two terrible words put together. Yeah. Who told me my hips were too big whilst we were having sex. What? Yeah. My hip was too big. and I, it's always so interesting when you sort of, when things like this happen and then you tell people and they always go, well, what, you know, I would have just, I would have just walked out the door and left. I would have just, I would have just. People say that to you. Yeah, but you know, people always like to say it. Yeah. You know, they're like, you know, they're like in long term relationships if they're slightly abusive, like, why don't you just leave? It's crazy. Why don't you say anything. It's like. Because there's love there or there's a feeling there or we're just reacting to the moment. And also, you know, we're not going to sound and be like, honey, you're lucky to have me.

And then like, it's too big. I think they're just big enough. Yeah, yeah. Maybe your dick's too small. It's like, no, like, obviously I'm just going to cry. Yeah. And continue to have sex with him.

Thank you very much. I'm very slow as well. It takes me a while for something to sink in. I'll just be like, oh, thank you. And then I'll be like, wait. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they were trying to get me there. Fight or flight exists for the reason.

So that was bad. And that, it just, and so in the end, I just thought, oh, do know what, like, screw, like, this is too painful. because I've done the work. I feel great. This is, yeah. And I was sick of kind of that, like, idea that I was incapable of being in a loving relationship

because I had been for, like, a number of years, like, in a really loving relationship with somebody. And so I knew I was capable. And then I look at my own friendships, and I'm like, my, I have amazing friends, really healthy relationships. I've got an amazing family. And, you know, I'm like a godmother,

and I've got, like, a niece and nephew. And it's like, everything's great. It's not, it's only with men that this is happening. And so then I kind of was, like just trying to trust that, you know, I will, if I want to, I will meet somebody. Yeah. With the same kind of values. But I think that's good to look at all the evidence.

Yeah. And to actually be like, it's actually not me guys. It's you lot. Was there somebody who came back after, who goaded you and then came back after a review? Oh, well, this is hilarious. So there's a pool of men, a pool of exes that all message me around the same time of year or when I post some sort of career update. So like I did eight out of ten.

Cats to Countdown. I saw the clip of your segment is really funny. It's really good. Well, you something like that happens. You can find it online. There's about three or four men from my past who I've slept with who then sort of like disappeared after sex. They will always be like message me or text me and be like, hey, reg your, you know,

saw you in the Reggie Guardian review. You popped up. Your face popped up on the Guardian this morning. I always knew you'd get there. Yeah. You're really doing it, Katie. Oh, God. And then you're like, they all come in on the same day.

Yeah. And I always laugh so much. They're all in my archive. Suddenly it's like I wake up in my archive and my WhatsApp's got like six. And I'm like, oh, there they are. The men who ghosted me. Yeah, the men who didn't believe in a second. What's Jimmy Car like?

It's just so typical. Oh, God. It's so typical. It's so difficult. Do you find there's like, there's a difference between dating like people in London, like you were in East. London and like... Oh, absolutely.

Like, I think that's why I like living in West London because I have not dated any of the men in my area. But I used to date a lot of, yeah, East London boys. And they would never travel. They would never get on the tube to West London. It was like they were having some sort of panic attack, like as soon as their feet touched West London soil. Like, they would just, they would refuse to get...

It's, guys, it's Hackney Central to Acton Central. You're on the... If you time it right, it's half an hour. Like, I'm sorry you can't travel out of your, like, fucking warehouse to come to my... really nice terrace house with a garden, with a cat. Like, you absolute loser. And I remember once the guy from East London came over on my birthday,

and I drove us, of course, to a McDonald's drive-thru. And I ended up buying the McDonald's. On your birthday? On your birthday. You drove him from McDonald's? That was your present. Yeah. Oh.

I know. And he was like, he was really icked out that he was in West London. And I think the French techno did he was like, everyone is so old here. everyone is so old. I was just like, you have a cyst on your ass that keeps appearing. And you keep having to have that cysts surgically removed. Like, sit on that cushion and shut the fuck up.

Yeah, yeah. These elderly people are running like hog runs and stuff and they're good times, you know? And they haven't got any cysts on their ass. So, please. Yeah, and don't make terrible industrial tech now. I think that's a really good rule just for life is not to date men from East London.

I think that's just a really good rule in general. Where are you from originally? Somerset. several sets. I grew up in a farm. Yeah. Which is why I love this new man that I've met because he's a proper, like, sort of little village boy.

Can you tell me about him? Yes, let's do it. So, we met. He was on the front row. Of your gig? Yeah. There's a few people who have met, a few ladies who have met men,

because it's starting to happen, I think. Hell yeah, baby. Okay, front row of the gig, this is wonderful. He was on the front row. It was last year, and I couldn't be asked turning up to this gig. I was tired. It was six-hand canceled.

It was. And, yeah. He was on the front row with three of his brothers. And so they'd take up the whole front row. And they all looked kind of... Another comedian said this. I thought it was really funny on the night. She was like, you all look like...

You all look the same, but like different fonts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was a perfect way to describe them because they all kind of... Yeah, they looked like brothers. It's close in age. And I obviously got wind that they were brothers. So just flirted with them all.

They had a fantastic time. Just like literally like blurting and being like ridiculous. And then it was his 40th birthday. And I think he'd been a bit depressed of his brother. had bought him a ticket. And then afterwards, I just went home. And then he messaged me on Instagram.

And I've got this bit in my set about how I only like to date men who drive. And he mess with like, your cassette was quality. I can drive. And then I was like, oh, thanks. And then he, like, followed me. And he was like liking things.

Well done on the driving. I know. Well, you know, my son was at that way. I was like, he's got a car. And then he was like liking things. And then I went on his Instagram. and there weren't really any photos of him. So I didn't really know which brother it was that had messaged me,

but I was kind of like, I didn't really. And then he... Just a little PSA to the other brothers out there. No, I don't know. I was like... If things go badly, there's three more. Literally.

And they're all tradesmen. I love how you call him a tradesman. He's a tradesman, yeah. But like, what trade? Welding, laboring, bricklaying. Loads of trades. Oh my God. He brought his toolbox to my house, fix my floorboards.

That's so hot. That is the... That's so hot. It's so hot. He drove himself there. Yeah. He can't spell house, but he can build one. And that's all that matters. It's literally all that matters. Yeah.

It doesn't even matter anymore. You don't even need to be able to spell. AI will dispel stuff for you. Absolutely. But AI can't fix your floorboards. No, absolutely. Yeah. Clip that.

This is so exciting. It is. And then how did you end up on a date? So he then he was like, yes, liking things. And then I followed him back. And then he posted like a photo of some, like a chandelier that he had made in his workshop. And I was like, I was like, what's that?

And then he was like, oh, it's just a chandelier I've made. How are you? What you do is amazing, like, gigging and like travel up around the country. And, yeah, you've got an amazing singing voice, by the way. And just like, really, like, kind. And then we were chatting and then he was like, do you want to go for a drink?

And I was like, yeah, sure. Like, I kind of, I didn't really know which brother was going to turn up. I'm not going to lie. And so then he... Which font is your favorite font? Oh, well, he's bold italic. The others are sort of, I think, more kind of. kind of underlined, based apart.

Bold italic, that's the one. Yeah, he's a bold italic. Bold, but a little bit quirky. Exactly. He's bold, goofy. Oh, he's so sweet. And he turned out. He drove, obviously, of course, to West London.

Didn't even complain about that once. And because he lives in the village, he was just like, wow, you got a KFC. What do you mean, the village? He lives in the village. He's from a village. He's not living in London. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. towards Bristol.

And he turned up and then we had a really nice date, went to the cinema. I sort of like kissed him and he went, bloody ill. He always done that in ages. Perfect, doesn't it? And he was shaking when we first met as well,

which obviously is a huge affidisiac for me. Shakeier, the better. And then... I love a nervous man. I thought it was a joke about the age thing. He needs his meds! Anyway, he was like, lovely, he was so sweet.

And then on our second date, he said, I'd love to take you up for dinner, and he turned up the roses. I know. And then we had a really nice time. And then it's all just been, yeah, great since then. He's really, really, really nice.

And he came to see my show last night at Soho Theater, and he was in the dressing room. And, you know, we've got, like, the light bulbs around the mirrors. He was like, I don't know how you can look it out. I'm blind. And I was like, you get used to it, darling.

And then we were on a bus the other day. He was like a bus. He was like, on the top of the bus, like, I'm hopping on a bus in here. It's just like seeing, you know, through a child's eye. It's really beautiful. It's really beautiful. Yeah.

Yeah, that's so lovely. A simple man. A lovely simple man is all that you want, I think. Yeah. Who's also kind of like likes to future plan with you. Like we've already got like a holiday fund booked. And he, and you know, he doesn't live in London and we both drive. and it's an hour and 15 minutes drive to each other's house.

But the journey feels like 15 minutes. Yeah. And it just goes to show that like someone can leave Hackney Central to come and see you on Acting Central on the overground if they like you. Like, you just don't think about distance if it's, if you like someone that much, I think. I completely agree.

I did a speed awareness course for him. Wow. Because, yeah, I went over the, it was Stake and Blow Job Day and I was on my way there. I had plans. And I told the facilitator of the speed of, awareness course. That's why I was speeding. Was the course just full of, just full of women?

No, actually. I was the only woman there. I'm a bit of a pick-me girl when it comes to speeding. I'm not like, I don't drive like the other girls. Very fast. Do you know, you can do speed awareness courses now from your bed because they do them on Zoom? Yeah, I've obviously done some speed awareness courses in my time. I'm very up on speed awareness courses. Why were you speeding? Because how are you meant to know what the limit is.

They change it all the time. I know. They do. And I'm trying to get places, you know what I mean? It's not easy, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. Look at you racing there.

Steak under one arm. He's racing there. Yeah. No, he was, he was cooking me steak. He cooks me food. He gives me so many meals. I've cooked him one lasagna. This is so perfect.

So how long has this been? Two weeks. Oh no. No, the weekend. Who's going to tell her? Okay, well, thanks for coming. Okay, too. Gladdened things going so well.

Oh, God. No, it's been, we met in that October. Yeah, this is perfect. This is enough time to be like, yeah, this is consistency. Yeah, we've gone past the three months probation. Three month probation, I completely agree. Yeah, he's met my mom yesterday. Oh.

She was so excited for me to meet somebody. My God. Especially age appropriate. Yes, I bet. Yeah, that's nice for your mom. I know. And he like comes on what you do, do comedy and just like loves it. I think this is it an enthusiasm for it.

It's so easy. But it's actually so hard. They so often want to bring you down. Yeah. Oh my God, I know. I remember dating one guy and he was like, shouldn't you be gigging more? Was he a comic?

I'll describe him. He was a writer, a creative writer. I date it's a creative writer. And he had a sex playlist. But the sex playlist was the same playlist that was used with other relationships. And it's like, I can't imagine anything worse. Like, I remember when he told me,

I was like, oh my God, this is the sex playlist you've used with your ex. So it's like, are we going to sort of, are you going to sort of like orgasm at the same moment you did with her? Like, you know, when it gets to Bjork. And I'm the only thing that's changed in this situation. Everything else has stayed the same. Was Bjork on the playlist?

Yeah. Yeah. And I can't listen to Bjork now. I mean, I couldn't before. It's an unusual choice, I would say. Because it's quite like screaming. Woodland creature. Yeah.

I don't know. Ding, ding, ding, woodland. Yeah, I know. It doesn't scream sex. No. Be not too much this weekend. I think the thing is with dating at this age is, it's a true.

tricky thing where I think in London it is easier, but everyone else is settled down to it. It, like, it raises the pressure, like, even more. Yeah, I think so. I mean, yeah, if you've, I spent, I spent seven years being a third wheel, which I'm quite good at. I like being around couples. Yeah. I quite like being around couples as well.

Yeah, it can be not, it can be really lovely and really comforting. And, because I've been hanging around a lot with my best friend, Amelia and her husband, and I'm, I'm godmother to their two sons. And I'm a bit of, like, when I'm around their energy, I'm the kind, I feel that sometimes that's like, I'm the grandmother. in the corner kind of just like, you know, the matriarch almost. Like they're doing everything and cooking for me and I get a bit of husband experience. Yeah, that's nice.

And I get a bit more that you're kind of like the spinster aunt or something that they have to care for. You know, like back in the day they had to take you in because they're like, who else is going to have her? Yeah. Was that true. Yeah. And now I've got a man to do that for me because he's like, who else is going to have her? But I had to sleep, like, I've had to sleep on some terrible beds as a single person going home for Christmas. My brother puts me in the attic on a mattress on the floor.

It's freezing cold. And then I've had to sleep on child's bunk beds. Yeah. Which I literally, my spine is like this curved at the beginning of every year. So I've seen the new year in on a child's bunk bed. Because this is it, I think it's a thing of like prioritising yourself and being like, I'm still like, I'm still a full person. Yeah. Even though I don't have a partner, I'm a full person.

Yeah. Shouldn't have to say that sentence out loud. Yeah. A bleak sentence for me to say. I know, I know. Yeah. Yeah, you can have the, you're right in a dog bed, Katie. Yeah.

allergic to dogs, but yeah, of course. Yeah, that's kind of how it's felt. Or like even, I mean, I'm sure you probably covered this already on the pod before, but like that kind of their finances, obviously. Like, you're still paying like double what everyone else is paying when you go for a meal or when you go on holiday. Like, you're paying for everything yourself when you're single, I think. It's so often the way, isn't it?

Once you feel happy with yourself, then a nice one comes along. Yeah. Well, how long have you been single now? Three years. Three years great. I've got close. Like there's a couple of things that were like very close. Yeah. But it was often like the three-month mark.

where I was like, I don't know, like, I was like, you should know at this point whether it's... Yeah. And I think I come in with quite an intense energy. Right. It's because I've come from a marriage, I guess. It's like I am looking for that kind of thing. I guess I'm not looking to waste my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so maybe I'm being a bit businessy with it. No, also I don't want to waste any time. I'm not going to be in a situation ship. I'm not going to like... Yeah. Because it's time away from my daughter. So it's a... That kind of adds a pressure to it.

Which also adds another pressure to it because you're looking for someone who's like, how old is your daughter for? Yeah. Like you're looking for someone who is good with kids. Who is like a decent guy. It's not even that. It's just like who is somebody that I could be in her world and be good enough for her. Yeah.

And there's very few. And would you date someone with kids as well? Yeah. Yeah. I think that might be good. Yeah. Because the tradesman has kids. And I'm loving, getting to know them.

You met them? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think, but I don't know if I want children of my own. I'm at that kind of. sort of like level of I love kids but I'm just I love my you know I love

yeah my money yeah all my own money yeah and I just like kind of being an influence on them but not being responsible I think it can be a really nice relate it's like so fucked up how it's being kind of treated I think like step parents and things like I think it should be a thing that's could be like a real positive absolutely yeah I think it's cool and also your your children want to see your like mom or dad happy

That's it. Yeah, completely. And in a relationship. Yeah. I think that's a really good thing. And also you get to kind of experience like two different types of parenting or like see another side to life, I think. I mean, my parents weren't, I didn't have a stepmom or stepdad. But my two eldest brothers had a different mom. And so, but I've never seen my half brothers as less than.

In fact, I'm actually more similar to them than my full brother in a weird way. Yeah, so I'm kind of in my stepmom era at the moment. Oh, that's, there's something glamorous about that. It's like saying like you're divorced, like, it's, it's fun. There's a fun to it, you know. It's the same way with stepmom. I think that's hot, you know. It is.

It's cool. It is, yeah, it's cool. And I always thought as well that I would clean up a divorce man. I always thought I was waiting for the waves of divorces. Because I've never successfully dated a man in his 30s ever. This guy's 40. Yeah, it's like it just wasn't your era, I guess. 30s, I just don't, yeah, because he's still older than.

me, yeah. Thank God. Thank you so much for coming and we really appreciate it. You are doing a new show that's going to be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and then on tour. What is it called? It's called, okay, so I had to decide this yesterday. It's called Mother Sucubis. Amazing. And a succubus is a female sex demon, guys. Guys. Yeah, it's not a plant or a bus. Yeah. Mother succubus. I'm going to nine something in above at Pleasant's Courtyard. And then I'll tour it next year. And people can find you on Instagram. Instagram, Katie Norris 26. Go follow her. Hi, boys. If you're listening.

Yeah, yeah. Kisses for the boys. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming in. It's been so nice to chat with you, Katie. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunch. That's Katie.

And can I just say that, yeah, the older guy sounded good. And it made me feel better because I'm currently, I've got a crush on two 57-year-olds. Are they twins? Unrelated. Do they know each other? Sure they do. But unrelated, yeah, too.

I know. Really took me by surprise. Yeah. Because I had a crush on one of them. I was like, oh, 57, that could work. And then I started having a crush on this other guy and then Googled how old he was and was like, he's also 57.

What's happening to 57 year old men? The 57 Club. The 57 Club. 27, they die. 57. They're reborn. Amy's got a crush on them. If they can survive another 30 years, they're in luck.

So thank you so much to Katie Norris. You know, she's fighting the fight for the older boyfriend. Yeah. And the useful boyfriend, a trady. My God. Oh, can you imagine? He fixes stuff. It's literally when we talked about...

I can't even imagine that. When we talked about wanting a task rabbit boyfriend, that's what she thought. Yes. The Holy Grail. God bless. Congratulations. Doctor Katie. Katie.

Nores. And if you want to go see Katie in. person and why the hell wouldn't you? You can go see her new show Mother Sucubus. Great title. Incredible. She's going to be in Edinburgh and then I believe touring and you can follow her at Katie Norris, 26. Wow. That's how much older her boyfriend is. Hello, single ladies. If you're a single lady and you're interested in meeting other single people who are really furious about the direction of the Labour Party and a contemplating voting green for the first time, then you might meet them in the audience at one of my tour shows.

I'm Nish Kumar and my stand-up comedy show is called Angry Humour from a Really Nice Guy. We're going to the UK and Ireland between September and November of 2006 and the tickets are available right now. I will, if requested, organise a dating service during the show. I would say if you're interested in meeting some very angry people, they will be at the show and they will be mad as hell. Tickets are available at Nishcomat.coma.coma.uk. Okay, none of this is legally binding.

You may not meet your life partner at one of Nish Kumar's tour shows.