Single Ladies In Your Area - Being a meddler and the return of MySingleFriend with Sarah Beeny

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

This week on the pod we are honoured to have a modern-day cupid in our midst, it's Sarah Beeny! She helps answer questions like: How do you get a sense of someone's vibe from the apps? Isn't involving your friends in the dating process all for the better? And should Amy change the prompt on her profile to "an intelligent, strong and independent woman with tits"?You can now WATCH the full video episode over on our Patreon, head to isitham.org!MySingleFriend is available to download from the App Store and Google Play.Amy's taking her brand new show Thanks For Having Me on tour around the UK from Feb 2027. Tickets are on sale now, just head to plosive.co.uk.And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show Floozy this autumn. For tickets and dates head over to harrietkemsley.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodProduced, recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Assistant Producer is Amy Townsend-Lowcock for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, it's Harriet, and I've just come on to let you know that I'm on tour. Later in the year, I'm bringing my show Flusie to you. I'm flusying about the UK. Lots of new shows have been added. Edinburgh, Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham, London, new date there, and we've added Winchester, Frum. Got in trouble for pronouncing that wrong. Frum, Taunton, Leeds, Milton Keynes, Leeds, Margate, Farnham. And let's not forget, Colchester.

You can get tickets at harrietkemsley.com And I'd love to see you there. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down.

But we're back out there. We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on.

Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Hello. Hello. Hi, it's so nice to see you. It's so nice to see you. Look so so Mary. I'm beautiful.

You're so beautiful. It's so nice to be in a space with you. It's really nice. I'm so happy to be in a room with you. It's so good. I know. I've missed you. I've missed you.

This feels really, really nice. You've got lovely earrings in. Thank you so much. I put these earrings in this morning and Mabba went, Mommy, I love your earrings. Are they from Halloween? Oh. What did you, what was your Halloween costume?

Such a bird. It's such a burn. But she doesn't know she just means it like, like Halloween's great. Why wouldn't you want earrings from Halloween? Yeah. Like it's not really like what I wanted this morning. They're so un-Halloyeney.

But I understand they maybe a costume or like a different thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's really into like. like beautiful dresses and makeup. Yeah, exactly. It could be from like a frozen costume or something like that.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. She did my toenails last night and it with red nail varnish and it looks like an absolute massacre. Let's just say. Oh, wow. My toes are. Let's hope I don't pull.

Yes. I'm not going to pull. Well, I actually had a look at my wiki feet rating. Oh yeah. Yeah. Mine's gone up. It's gone up. What's your wiki feet rating?

I was so happy with it. It was 4.3 something. That's really good. Yeah, I know. I couldn't believe that. I couldn't believe my look. To the extent where I was like, do I put that on my dating profile?

I literally think you put that on your dating profile. Mine was average and it was so rude because one of the photos was of my foot next to a goat's hoof. And you think, surely it should rate higher when that's the comparison. No. No. But then I banged on about it so much on stage that it went up because people felt sorry for me.

So they went on and they voted for it. What if you would go on and vote? down now. No, they wouldn't. They mustn't. Please don't. No, single ladies. Let's try and get, let's try and get you a higher rate.

I'm putting it on my profile. I'm going to, I'm going to screenshot it now. So if it goes lower, I've always got it. It's really fun. You're going to get some weird feet people, though. That's your only thing. Oh, yeah, I don't want that. I only want it to put on for a laugh.

It's a laugh, but also letting them know what they could get. Cute, but two little feet. A little feet. I did the Great North Swim. I have so many questions about this. So basically, I haven't seen. Harriet for a while, but also, like, sort of for the first time, we haven't even really been messaging because we've both been so busy. We've just sort of like, our paths have just had to go apart for a bit.

And the only contact I've had with, sort of any of my friends, is the occasional quick glances I get on Instagram and I'll just be seeing you in a fucking swimming cap in the sea. And I'm like, I don't know how we've got to this. It feels like there was no buildup whatsoever. There should have been more of a buildup. But I was saying it because when we were doing it, we were, um, feeling. filming it and then the cameraman like he's a great guy but he started zooming on my feet and i was having to say no get blur the toes and i was having to say get away from the toes then he was going oh look you got your dogs out but i've never even heard that expression before isn't that a horrible look she's got a dog's out horrible sorry who is this camera man he's he's a nice guy but he's like

that's such a horrible expression i've never heard it before he got your dogs out but they did blur it in the video but i think because it was so jarring for people they don't want that you know and they're calling Instagram in the morning. Yeah, yeah, well, we're good for it. I will say. I'm so excited for the guests that we've got today. Oh my God. She's an icon.

I can't wait for this. It's so exciting when you meet someone off the telly. Yeah. I know, you know, we're both on the telly every now and again and stuff like that, and we do meet a lot of people that are on the telly. But if it's someone who's not a comedian, I'm always more excited. Yeah, definitely. Because, you know, they let you down.

They let you down constantly. Sarah Beanie's not going to let us down. I really believe my heart of hearts. She won't let us down. Maybe we get to the end of the episode and we're like, wow, Sarah Beanie was like a male comedian. But I would, I... I will bet everything I've got in the bank.

Yeah. That Sarah Beanie's going to be exactly what we... Who should we find out? Oh my God, shall we? Please welcome to the pod. Woo! That's a new... That's a new thing I just started.

That was a new energy as well, wasn't it? It's doing like an old time me announcer. Yeah. It's Sarah Beanie. It's a match. Hello, Sarah Beanie. It's very exciting to have you here. Thank you very much for having me.

I'm so excited. What a cool podcast to be on. Oh, my. That's what we love to be here. Yeah, here is very, we're very happy with that, actually. That's a really nice start. I feel like you're kind of like an icon within dating. Well, thank you. I mean, I love that guru of the iconic status. That's great.

Yeah. No, I've been kind of on the scene in terms of, I say on the scene, that sounds like I'm actually married because my husband would be quite across if I said I've been on the scene. I imagine. Yes, I've been on the scene. But, no, well, I started my single friend 20 years ago and mainly. 20 years. Yeah, 20 years. And then it was amazing because at the time I was going out with my family. Well, he was my boyfriend at the time. And then I was thinking, I had all these friends who and I was, I'm a bit of a meddler. So with everything, with jobs as well as love lives. And I kind of think, oh, that person could meet that person. And that would be quite good, wouldn't it?

I think that's such a good quality. And it's what single people need. Yeah. Because it's, you need somebody that's in a stable relationship to have the interest to meddle. Yeah. Well, yes, encourage meddling. Need more. Yes.

Meddling is fun as well. Really fun. And also I kind of figure that, you know, those chance meetings that people have, if you can make that chance meeting happen. I mean, you're not going to make them get together, but it's just, if it's a ship that doesn't pass in the night, you know, and it never meets, then how, well, that's the end of that, isn't it? So before the app, did you have success stories within your friend group?

No, that's why I started. I tried fixing out everyone with everyone, and I was like, oh, this is really annoying. But for listeners who haven't come across my single friend, where you just give us like a brief. It was a website, 20 years ago. Yeah, so when I launched it, it was in the days of quite horrible online dating websites. There weren't any apps. And I thought, God, they're so awful.

You have to go on and describe yourself. And, you know, almost go into dating agency with someone in tweeds who went to interview with the spectacles. I was like, God, he would do that. And then I just thought, well, actually, take the single people out of it. If we just all put all our single friends onto a website, then they can all see each other. And that's kind of cool. You know, you know the people you know, but how do you get one step away?

You don't need to go miles away. It's only like the friends of friends. Yeah. So that was where the theory started. And I thought, if you can just link the friends of friends who have single friends, then boom. And actually, it completely took off. I mean, massively.

It was thousands and thousands and thousands of people who met on my single friend. I meet them all the time. And it makes me very happy. The first baby I met from my single friend. Oh, my God. It was amazing. I was in a hospital.

And this couple came down. went, are you Serravenian? I went, yeah? And they went, and they held up this baby. It's like one day old. And it was a bit like the most amazing moment. And they held this baby up and went, this is a my singer from baby. And I was like, ooh. Oh, my stuff. Oh, my God. It was amazing. Amazing. Amazing. You think. That baby wouldn't be here if you hadn't studied the website. Yeah. I mean, I did have a moment. I was like, ooh, I'm like, created love. Shut up, Sarah. Oh, my God. Shut up, Sarah.

But no, I mean, they took the risk to go on it. I mean, that's the truth of it. It was, they took the punt. You know, if you do nothing, nothing will happen. That's the one thing I would say to anyone. I say it to my kids all the time about all sorts of things. And they're like, oh, should I do it? I went, well, you can guarantee if you don't do it, nothing will happen. If you do do it, something might happen. I guess it's my mantra for life generally is.

If in doubt, do something because you never know. And you do know if you don't do it, nothing will happen. I think that's such good advice. And actually what we need right now, maybe when we've just both thought about maybe hanging up our hats. Yeah. I think that's one of the problems now is that it feels like it's a job you have to do and you think, oh, have I the energy to do this task?

It's like redecorating the bedroom. You're kind of like, oh God, I've got to do this stuff. It doesn't have to be that boring and that tedious. It doesn't have to be a kind of job that you do. And I suppose that's, in a way, well, that's really why we launched it. So we went off somebody, we had a very. investors and then it went to its own way and I wasn't very pleased with where it went. So now I've got it all back.

Emptied the site completely of everyone, which is really scary when you go, right, we're just going to have no one. We're going to launch it empty. Oh my God. So we've been building and building and building the app over the last few months. You don't want to be that first person. He's like, hello? I mean, literally, well, it is a bit like that.

So we've been testing and testing and testing and testing and all the feedback means that we've rebuilt it and rebuilt it. And I think we're really nearly exactly there. But the principle I was thinking is that you still want to. your friends to describe you because you can't putting yourself on a site is really weird. Also, do you think in society, there's no other time where it's so weird to think you get all the single people, you remove them from their friendships and you put them in a weird place where they all meet each other.

Like everything else in life, you're with your friends. There's no connection to anything else. You're so right. And I think the way that a friend would describe you is so different to the way that I would describe myself. Totally. It's like either I'm going to lie to try and hide. some really bad stuff.

I'm just going to be honest and then it's going to be like, no one's clicking, you know. And so getting somebody else that sees you and loves you already is so nice. Well, also, that's more like real life, isn't it? I mean, the perfect way to meet someone is you go to a party and you see someone

who's chatting to their friend and think, oh, they've got a nice vibe. Oh, I like that. Because they're kind of laughing. They're doing the thing that you kind of connect. So it occurred to me that in the modern world, of apps now, that if you could just see someone laughing with their friend, like you would in the pub, then you'd know the vibe. Because what people tell me a lot on dating apps is that

they go through and they can't really tell from a photo. You can't tell someone's vibe at all. No, no. So you have to go on a date to see their vibe. Then you have to walk in, having spent three hours getting there, put your night aside, you walk in literally 10 seconds later. You're like, Oh, no, oh, there's no vibe. Now you've got to extricate yourself from it. Yeah. And also, I think often you might swipe past a photo that might not be, you know, that flattering. But actually, if you saw them laugh and you saw what they thought was funny, you'd go, oh, no, no, no, that's really cool.

We don't judge people on looks. We judge by their kind of soul. Their energy. It is. It's completely that. I don't think you can fancy someone from a photograph. No. No.

Like I genuinely, because you don't. You need to see someone like moving how their face moves. Yes. What's putting out into the world. Exactly. And well, that was the conclusion I reached. And so that's what we are now. We're just relaunching it now as an app.

And it's basically you and your friend. And your friend asked you a little question on the app and on video. And you answer it. I mean, it's very lighthearted. It's sort of like, you know, questions like, you know, why do you wear it on socks? And then they might go, I don't like to conform that. And I can't find any matching socks.

Yes. And actually one of my favorite questions I love is, is which of all the potatoes would you save if you could only save one? Great question. You should marry the person who asked this question. I love questions like this. It's a great question, isn't it? And then I spent hours debating it thinking,

I think it has to be the crisp. But then imagine no... Well, yes. No match ever again. Oh, my gosh. I mean, like, God. What about chips? Yeah, what have I.

We can't lose chips. But if you have chips with no, with no like salt and mayonnaise, they'd be really nasty. Wait, why were you losing those? Well, I don't know if that's in the rules. Oh, God. I'm not sure. Oh, God. I'm not traumatized.

I need to take a week off just to think about this. Yeah. Difficult. But I think you're so right. Like, I've gone on dates where I've had the pictures and then I've created like a kind of like a moving image in my head of you. They are projected on to them. I've created a full 3D person.

And then I turn out. and then I'm annoyed with them for not being who I've created. Yes. And they've also turned up on dates and their voice, I just think, oh, this just isn't my voice. I can't fall in love with this voice. And it's not their fault. Like, they have a great voice for somebody else.

It's just not my voice. And I'm just like, oh, that's just not it. And I think that's why people have this sort of dating app exhaustion because they've got to go through so many profiles of going, if I got anything, is this right? Is this not? Do I risk going for a date or not? I don't know and then you do and then doesn't work and think,

oh, I've invested all that time. And that's exhausting. We haven't got time for of that. You've got to get in there and sniff them. There's somebody on there who was asked if you were going to wrestle an animal, which one do you think you could beat? And I think he said a mountain line or something. Anyway, and then there was somebody else I spoke to who was, you said,

I just, I saw that and I thought, what a nice guy, but I mean, what a silly answer. I would never be able to date him. I thought, that's perfect. Because I thought that was funny. She thought it was really stupid. Brilliant. That sucks it, isn't it? That's easy.

Yeah. We have, so we helped each other set up a dating profile on, you know, on one of the standard size. And one of my answers is something that Harriet is like, that makes me upset. And it's genuinely, it's become like, like the most divisive thing.

And I'll get messages being like, I don't like this answer, or I'll get people who are like, this is the best answer. So it's like the prompt is dating me is like. And I put having a Labrador with Tits. Harriet hates that imagery so much. It creates such a strong visceral image for me that I could never look at Amy.

All I see when I look at her, if that's how I meet her on her profile, is that she's a Labrador with Tits. Like it's just she's covered in hair and she has tits. Like I can't get past that. But you know what I'm? It's divisive and I think that's helpful. Yeah.

It kind of is very self-deprecating. If I saw that, I'd go, well, she's, I think you're much better than that. Oh, wow. That's my opinion. And I don't know you very well, but I'm like, no, no, you put yourself down there. I'll put it to a golden retriever. I get it. I'm not sure any dog that's actually what, uh, and that's by the sky.

And that's just my opinion, you know. And that's Sarah Bini's advice there. Okay, it's cat with tits. You should like raise the bar. Okay, lovely. I think that's, um, that woman with tits. It's like dating a nice woman who also has tits. It's not quite catchy.

Okay. But I do see how it sums you are. And it's also like you do have like a lovely energy. I think that's what the point is from it as well. And it's like the Labrador energy maybe. I get that. But what I'd say is in text, that written.

you kind of go, I always think, you know, I bet you've done this, where you do an interview and you say something that you think's really witty in an interview, and then they type it, and the interview comes out, and they've pulled it up as the headline, you think, oh no, that was ironic. Yes, I've been got so many times with this. Yeah, it's really bad. Never say anything ironic or just literally stick to the facts in an interview because when it's written down, then it doesn't read an ironic.

I really has to be said in a sentence with your words, but you have to hear it. And then I learned that over the year, so I stopped making. Stop making. I'm like, no, wind it back in, Sarah. I still get caught out every now, though, because I'm having a laugh. And up comes the headline. It was one that was brilliant. I was saying in an interview, they said something about, oh, something about my marriage or something.

And I said, oh, you know, it's hanging on by its fingernails. Yeah. Front page, every headline, Sarah Bue's marriage, hanging on by its fingernails. I was like, what? Oh my goodness. I didn't even realize. Oh, wow. People who ran me up saying, I'm sorry you're getting divorced. I was like, what?

My? I said, where are we getting divorced? I didn't even know. How amazing is that? I mean, thank you very much to the Daily Habe for telling me. But we were literally like a whole new day. We had no idea. But yeah, you mustn't, I really, I just, it doesn't translate very well.

But I think the thing is, but I do, I look for profiles. They have to have said or done something I find funny. Because so often it's like they're just doing the same. sponsors and I think, oh, this would never be anyone that I can connect with. Because if they have this space to say something and they don't try and put something that is funny, then it's not like that. But that's also a lot of work, isn't it? Or I've got to write something that's funny. But they have to care to put a bit of work in. You're right, but some people don't naturally know how to, it's really hard. And face-to-face,

laughing, but actually writing it down, you go into CD mode, don't you? Yeah. Video is so much better. Get to see a little bit of it. And it's very instant. And then I... Oh, you guess it. You get it. Okay. It's no fact.

I'd rather something else. I will change. But even that, if you saw you two together, yeah. And you said, go on, tell me. And you said that. And then you both, then you were laughing. Yeah.

Then you'd see it's a joke. Whereas you might be like, no, I think I'm like a Labrador. I am a dog with breasts, full stop. Like, I mean, heck, like, no, you get really like that text. Jarring.

I get it. Amy, staring dead into the camera up for the photos. I am golden retriever with breast. Yeah, I think you need to see how someone moves. That's, I guess, what it is. And I suppose you do see that on a first, what I always think the first date from a dating app is not a first date. It's a date to see if you want to go on a date.

It's a pre-date. It's a pre-date. Whereas, I guess, with my single friend, you don't need a predate because you've done the predate. And you haven't even messaged them and connected because you see them immediately, you see their vibe on that. You don't even have to message them. You know if you have or haven't.

Yeah. And as I say, I think often it's that you, someone who might swipe past, when you see them laughing, you get, oh, actually, that's so brilliant. I love it. So I think it works in both ways. It's just more like real life. Basically, it's real life on an app. I think it saves time. And I think I've started to only meet people that I've done like a call with because just to save time and eliminate.

You're doing your pre-date. I'm doing my pre-date. But it's really awkward because you don't actually want to meet someone for the first time like that. You want the first meeting to be not on a phone and then you're in a weird background. It's like you want to have it be like a nice meet cute, I guess.

I need to have that done. Yeah. I mean, I so believe in this. I mean, you know when you're just fundamentally in your core, I talk to so many people of all ages. But particularly I think it's really hard for young people You know what? If people go to university, there's loads of people around. Yes. If they don't, then there aren't so many.

But once, you know, sort of 25 to 35, 4. I mean, there's also lots of people who are older who want to meet people. But that kind of 25 to 35-ish, I mean, you know, loosely, boundaries off the ends, ish. It's really hard because there aren't, you know, people say, oh, go to the gym and you'll meet someone. I'm like, you know, there's a whole world of perfection you've got to be now. You've got to drink smoothies and go to the gym and have a washable summer. I always said when we first launched my super phone, I always said, the thing is, is what people like about you is not being perfect. Nobody, nobody actually cares about, you know,

you think that you need a matching underwear, washboard stomach, a really good car, nice job, pension. Actually, nobody cares. Nobody cares. They just want you to be a laugh. That's all. Yeah. Well, then why am me and Amy having such a struggle I will say? Well, I think they haven't seen you.

I mean, they've, they hear you on their head. Yeah. But I mean... We're not getting out there and actually... Well, once I get you're my single friend, you'll definitely... Oh, my. We are going to do it. We're genuinely very excited about it.

We should. It's really fun. But it also is really exciting to me because it is a revolution of saying, out with the old. Yeah. And so it's a brave new time because no one's ever done this before.

And we have to build from scratch because, of course, you can't have a... Most dating sites buy-in profiles to fill up. We launch with Z. zero people on because you can't fake a profile on my single friend. There's no faking. You can't. So everyone is genuinely single and they are genuinely real and they've got a friend. So if you haven't got a friend, go on another site to build. I'm like, we learn. It's true though because

you see so many profiles and they're just men taking a photo of themselves six selfies and you think, oh, have you never let another person in your life? It is. Like you just seem to have my friends. It's six selfies in the same room in the dark. The same angle. as one Uber driver takes their profile picture in and it's just six them and you're like, you don't seem very fun. Yeah, you look like a murderer. Like if you are not interacting with another person,

you assume they've never met another person in their life. It does make the question, doesn't it? Yeah. And if you haven't got a friend who's prepared to be a wingman and say, hey, this guy's a real laugh. If you haven't got someone who's prepared to do that, then you kind of go, and for men and women, I think, you know, I meet lots of men

and they'd like to meet someone who they like, you know, they actually like. And men and women want to do it. It's not weird. Yes, absolutely. I wonder if men will find it harder to find that friend to do it with. Because I can think of, like, loads of women who have, like, great friendships where it's like, oh, I can totally see them too, like, setting it up together. I wonder if it's...

But almost in, like, a positive way, because I'm like, if a guy goes to that extra mile of like saying his friend, like, can you want me do this profile? Like, he really wants it. And that's a green flag. But also, it's actually so cute. That's really cute. So do you put in my pro.

It just feels so vulnerable. But that's how it launched in the first place, why everyone. But also, do you not know any single men at all? Oh, yeah. We know a lot of them. But we also know they're very troubled. No, but they're not troubled if they met the right person.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So what happens is it does tend to be women or ladies that put, so women put men on and men. Oh, sure, of course. Of course. Yeah.

So, I mean, that is. I would trust it so much if there was like a female friend of a guy being like, he's great. He does this and he's like this. I'd be like, oh, I trust the woman. It's women helping women. Yeah. I'm afraid it is.

I'm afraid it is. But then we could do that. Let's do a whole. hour of talking about that another time. The world is an interesting place. I'm really fascinated by emancipation, but we'll discuss that another time. It's not exactly the right podcast. But yeah, women put men on and...

I mean, there's some men put women on, to be honest, and men put men on. But largely, I'd say... So you can go on my single friend as a friend or a single person, or both. And actually, we now have... So you can do it remotely... If there's meddlers that have no... They're in a relationship, they can go on. and they can just be swiping and doing all the stuff for their friends.

Well, they put their friend on. Yeah. So if you're a meddler, you can either do it remotely, and then you download the app and you connect with them remotely. And so you ask a question and your friend gets to answer it. Or you can do it next door to someone. And so a single person downloads the app, and then they pass the phone to their friend,

and their friend can ask a question and pass it back. But if you do it remotely, then you can browse for your friend. Yes, see, that's what I think is, that's so interesting. Because I often see people on apps, I'm like, oh, I think this person would be really good for Amy or for other friends. And then I'm like, oh, but how do you? No one is good enough for you. No, but if you can swipe. You know, I do, it's really awful.

When I'm scrolling on Instagram, all my friends who are in their kind of late 20s, I say friends. That's so conceited to say. I think they'd say, old lady, who's a mom of my friend. I'm like, no, no, I'm your friend, actually. Anyway, I scrolling through Instagram and I send them random things that are interesting, like job offers or a cheap restaurant. and I send it to them, like, random. They get them, all these young people, they always go, yes, Sarah's always forwarding us like, handy tips,

handy tips, and this or that. I'm like, oh, that's useful for them. That would be useful. Like, oh my God, there I am getting meddling around. Look at this job. We like this. You're like a fairy godmother. Yeah, I love that.

A little bit meddlesome. I always think, well, one of my younger friends, she said, Sarah, why do you keep sending me supper for under 10 pounds for two? And I said, because you said you were really broke. I was like, I thought that was a really good thing to do. I was like, I think that's cool. I think that's lovely. So I think that's lovely.

Say it with me. I'm a goddess. Do you have advice for people because I think for some people doing a video, it's like with social media people find being recorded very scary. Like to do that is a really scary step. So do you have advice for people that would feel really unnatural on camera? Yeah. Do you know, it's interesting.

I didn't think that. would be a problem, but I think it is, people do sort of think, oh, that's really exposing. But I would say I'm slightly baffled, if I'm honest by it, because, you know, if you think about, like, Snapchat, where a lot of young people communicate, they are sending photos all day to random people that aren't even, they're not even having, trying to make themselves look nice. They're just like, ooh, ooh, anyway. So I think it's a perception, to me, If you said someone 20 years ago that people would communicate through a Snapchat conversation, everyone would say, don't be absolutely absurd. That is totally ridiculous. And now it's normal. And so I think there's a perception that it's in some way scary. But we do it all the time anyway. And it's not an exposing question. You know, the questions are very short and there. And it's real. And you can re-record it if you don't like the answer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then that's your profile. You know, it's, I mean, people go to the pub and don't wear a mask. Yeah, of course. You know, you don't kind of think, oh, I mustn't go out. I can't let anyone see me. Everyone did the ice bucket challenge back in the day. It's just that without bucket water. So, yeah, it's just, you know, I think at some people, initially when we first started talking about it, people were like, what you mean, I have to sort of like say who I want to meet and say how much I,

I'm like, no, no, you're just. Yeah. You know, no one picks someone because. they have there, have you ever gone on a date with someone and said, right, let's get a few things sorted out. I like, I like going to festivals. Do you like festivals? No, right, no, that's not going to work. I really like pasta.

I have heard of people doing things like this. Actually, I don't know if it's a single. I think it's like people are, because people are so outside of their zone now, like their circle, that you're looking for like a list and if it's going to align maybe. But we don't align with people we like. but can't feel like job interviews maybe in some ways. Yes, which is madness, which is why we don't have any of that. I mean, you can get on, it takes about something slightly under a minute to get on my single friend.

And we don't have any of that, you know, what are you interested in? Because the truth is, if you really like the opera and you meet someone who really likes festivals because you clearly are very sophisticated. But that doesn't mean that if someone like festivals and you like the opera, you'd go, well, I'm not dating you. You might go to a festival and think, oh, that's interesting. I've never been there before. You know, I know so many people who meet someone and they're really into say football and they've never been to football, they go to a football match and go, oh, I love football, this is brilliant.

Or you just let them deal with that. Oh, let them do it. I mean, you know, that's fine either way, isn't it? I don't think interests are the... No, yeah, I know. Because the world, you don't want to, it. It's a vibe. It's exactly.

It's vibe. It's the thing. But you know the values, no profile's ever going to teach you the values. That only comes from getting to know somebody. It does. You have to invent. some time to... Yeah, and a little bit of someone with their friends.

You can kind of see if someone's with their friends. You think, I think seeing someone in the setting of their life is, well, that's how real life happens. Yes. Anyway, renting on. It sounds fantastic. Yeah, up the online revolution for dating. Yeah, really.

I think the apps, it's where everyone's meeting. Like, you're at showing people where they met, they all met on an app. And then you ask everyone that's single and you say, are you on the apps? And they just look dead behind the eyes. It's like everybody is meeting on the apps, but it's like it's awful. But they hate it. And a lot of people are coming off them because it's just too overwhelming. So something has to change.

Yeah. And that's what I figure. And make it easy. And the truth is, I think the perception is quite, for some people, they're like, oh. But actually, once you get your head grounded, it's so much more logical because, you know, everyone's on there with their friends. And I love the idea. I've got, I'm on my single friend, obviously, because I'm a friend. Sure.

And I've got 30 people that I have put on and asked questions. So you can get different friends to ask you a question. You know, it's like a community. You can see people with different friends. And that's fun, isn't it? If I'm on it myself, can I also meddle for Amy? Yeah. Great.

Oh, you'll be meddling. Thinking on your medal for us as well. Yeah. Great, great. She has to ask you a question there. You have to be a friend and ask a question. Do you have tips? Because I think this is especially something for women of like where the video.

should be. Like, I think often, like, that you try and do a video or something and you're in, you're basically... Are you thinking you're going to do it in the bath? Because I'm going to have to tell you not to do that. That's on the Labrador level. Don't do that.

No, but I think things like you wouldn't even think about, like you're in, like, a dark cupboard or something. You know what I mean? You're, like, trying to find somewhere, like, is there somewhere that it should be film? Like, should it be in a public place? Or should it be, like... Well, it depends if you want to meet someone.

If you want to meet someone, then I just do it wherever you normally are. Okay. And I do notice that. Some people think, oh, it's much better if I'm almost completely in the dark. But I'm like, what is that saying about you? That you've got a lot to hide. It's hard being confronted with your face, though, I think.

I think, like, we're used to it, like, with this job. It is hard, like, then looking back and watching it and thinking, oh, is this a good example of me to put into the world? This is why you have your friends. Yeah. Because your friends. You were spiraling, being like, I don't know about this. I would tell you honestly, like, Harriet, this one in the bath?

No. This one. In the dark? No. Just this one. Yes. Amy, this one in a dog costume. No.

This one's out. Actually, although I do think that's... That would be great. We had the most brilliant fancy dress party. And I was like, oh, this is the moment we all need to ask everyone we know who's singing. Yes. Oh, my God.

I mean, you either do or don't like fancy dress. And if you don't like fancy dress, you definitely shouldn't be with someone who doesn't like fancy dress. I mean, I would say that is a character for a lot. That's so true. You need to find someone that's... Yeah. And you either do.

You know what I mean? I'm like, and I think there's a sort of character trait, which is that you hate fancy dress. Yeah. You should be with someone who hates fancy dress. Because that's going to be a conflict all your life. I mean, it's going to be really difficult. It's one of the core values.

Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, I think it is a core value. Do you like fancy dress? I would feel about Labrador. There's my big three. Oh, you just love a roast, do you? So you're in a long-term relationship. Yeah.

When did you meet your husband? About a million years ago. Wow. Wow. I met him when I was 19 and he was 18. Wow. I mean, you know, he had been around the block. Yeah.

He'd been on the scene. I think that's what we're saying. This is what you wouldn't say in an interview about it. No. That's going to be flipping headlines somewhere, isn't it? If it was in print. Slags got married. I'm like, ooh.

Anyway. Slags got married. It's like, oh. Anyway, I don't think you can say that anymore. Is that an off okay word? No, I think no idea is just a funny. I'm so scared of the words you can't use anymore. We can reclaim slag.

Oh, yeah. If you are, we have. If you are, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You self-identify as a slag. Totally, too, yeah, yeah. You're in a same space. I'm aspiring to be a slag.

Yeah, so, yeah, we met when we were really young. But actually, it's sort of really nauseating, actually, because my brother was going out with his sister. And then my brother, it is actually legal. I love that you have to clarify that. It definitely is. But it is, I mean, a little bit nauseating, really. Especially as they got married as well.

Wow. It makes Christmas so easy. It's so simple. And Easter. Although now my nephews also has, well, he's, well, he's. doesn't have a gorgeous girlfriend because she's now a fiancé, a gorgeous fiancé. And I suspect that he might think he's not coming to Christmas with us every year from now on. I'm like, oh, oh.

Anyway, it's fair enough, because she is gorgeous and she's got a gorgeous family and I'm like, oh, okay then. But it has been gorgeous. That makes you so close because you're like, they're like double cousins. Yeah, they are double cousins. Yeah. Wow. And they're really good friends. But it is legal.

It is. It is. And they're also really good friends. which actually is really nauseating, isn't it? And I love my, I've got three nephews and niece. Actually, my husband has another brother who's also lovely, but I didn't have another sister. So, you know, and they've got three gorgeous children as well.

So we are a very close family. I'm very, very fortunate. Wow. Yeah. And you met just in real life, not on the same. Yeah. I think the internet had it just been launched. So how did you meet you and your husband? Well, my brother said, oh, you should meet my,

my sister's, my girlfriend's brother. And I went absolutely ridiculous. No way. You have got to be joking. Absolutely no way. And so, I refused to. It was like a live version of my single friend. It was someone going, oh, you too have a nice vibe.

I think you should meet. My single sibling. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, it works. My single sibling works on my single friend.

Yeah. But yeah, no, it was a bit like that. And then my brother had a decorating company at the time. And Graham was working for him. And he was really late on a contract. And I was working for Save the Children at the time. And he said, I'm really stuffed. We have to get these banisters painted by the end of the day.

So I pretended I had a tummy ache left and went and arrived to paint them. And then he was kind of cool. He was kind of cool. So he had long hair and was an earving. Oh, my God. I was like, this is, yeah, okay, that's kind of fun. And then who made the first move? Well, that was probably me.

I love that. Because we're trying to get more confident to make first moves. Yeah, it probably was. But then you have, like, lines you cross to it. You say we went, I said to my brother, like, why didn't you? I knew we got on because, oh, no, he sort of made. I drove, I said, do you want to lift anywhere? And we drove up to these traffic lights and there was a flower stall.

And I said, I would jump out and buy me some roses. and he opened the door and got out and got back in and went, there you are. And I went, oh, that was quite impulsively impressive. I was obviously joking and he just did it. And I was like... That is legendary from both of you there. Yeah.

You saying that is so cool and hot. And then him doing it. Oh my God. And he was very cool about it. It was very... Then I was like, oh, okay. So then I said to my brother, oh, tell me when you're going to the pub with him and I'll come to. So I went to the pub.

And again, I said, you want to lift back to your flat side of van at the time. And so I pulled up outside his flat. And I said, oh, say bye. And he went, bye then. Open the door. And I went, you're not going to invite me in. And do you want to come in? And I went, okay.

So then, because I was thinking, I thought, that's a really slaggy move. So then it was in the winter. And I had, like, woolly tights in the polo neck. And so we stayed up and talked. And I thought, I can't do anything. I can't kiss him. because I've literally invited myself in. So I had this like a sort of literally neck, like a polar neck.

And these woolen types, I was boiling. I couldn't take them off. And I had to sleep in a chair. Because I was like I don't want to look like I'm too. Now I've got to get him to. You know what you're like? Yeah. It's like a game, isn't it?

Yeah. So that's really. That is incredible. Yeah, that's probably. Then, yeah, then it was all okay. And it's all like. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that is so cool. Well, I don't know. I don't know. You know, it's about the vibe. No, but that's powerful. That's powerful.

And you've done exactly, I think, the right amount of showing interest. You've been like very direct, but in like a sort of charming and flirty, fun way. And then left it for him. Well, then I was like, you can't actually do anything. If you're going to be that thought, you have to kind of go, no, I think not. Wow. How. Harriet, I've put a dog with tits on my profile.

What have you learnt from your years doing my single friend and then now doing all the research? Like, do you have advice for people that are dating for the first time? Yeah, I mean, so much. Years ago I wrote a book about it, actually, which was really fun. Yeah, I guess I'd say, you know, take a risk as in a calculated risk. Yeah. You have to go out there.

You can't sit at home and expect. something to happen. So, as I say, you know, with, with, with my, it's really interesting talking to you earlier about who would put, would men put men on? No, no, if you're, if you're single and you know, say you're a single man and you know single women, but you don't fancy them. Well, then, yeah, we're involved. The problem is we know them so well, it's hard.

We don't want them on there. You don't want to be, we want to say, we want to be like, yeah, validating them and like, but there's someone for everyone, isn't that? And in a way, I sort of think. When you know someone really well, you know all their four-e-olds. But also we know, you know, most people who are together, there's things about them that you think, I don't know why they put up with you, don't they?

I mean, is anyone perfect? Is everyone in a couple? Perfect. Oh, God, no. Not the ones I've seen, yeah. No. So it somehow works, doesn't it? And you think, just because you don't find the fact that they, I don't know,

there's a few things that I think, oh, that would be really hard to go out with. But someone else will find that really great. I also think you have to be really, one thing you have to be really careful of is having too much of a tick list because there's two sides to every character trait. And I always think, you know, there's moments where I think I just wish

I was with someone who tidied up all the time. But if I was with someone who tidied up all the time, when I'd dump all my clothes on the floor, he would say, what the hell have you done? And I want to dump my clothes on the floor when I want to. It's nice to be the clean one. And then you kind of go, well, so we have this endless argument, which I think, which Graham said it might mean that divorce will come one day. When I emptied the dishwasher, there's a top drawer which has a cutlery in the compartments.

And then there's a drawer below. And when I empty it, I pick up the cutler basket and I tip it into the drawer because it takes literally one second. He can't understand why I don't sort it out. And I'm like, it's quicker. It's quicker. And that's easy. And so, and I kind of think, we've reached a, you know, a happy place-ish

where he does the top draw and I do the next draw and that's what it is. That's marriage. And I kind of think that's, I guess don't sweat the small things and people think these small things sort of matter and there's a bit of me

that thinks, you know, you can let a lot go because you're not perfect either and if you want to go through life, this is with everyone generally relationships and not just with a partner it's with everyone around you And so I'm really logical. And when I ask someone to say,

maybe one of my kids or someone else to do something and they don't do it the way that I think it should be done because I've thought about it. And I'm like, well, obviously if you take this to, it's like people who walk upstairs with nothing in their hands and there's loads of things at the bottle, I'm like, we'll just pick them up. But the fact is that's my system.

My system is put at the bottom stairs when I walk up. Now it's annoying when people don't do it. But just because someone doesn't do it your way, it doesn't mean it's the wrong way. It just isn't your way. And so if you want to be single for the rest of your life, have your very specific butter dish for your butter. If not, just roll with the butter being kind of on a plate.

That's okay. I do have a lovely butter dish right now. Yeah, I've got a really cute butter dish. And if someone puts the butter in a plate, is that a problem? Well, yeah, I think this is something that I've learned through marriage, is that and through divorce is to, it's, accept somebody. Like, you can't change somebody. I tried. It's impossible. They don't change. You can't change somebody. And so you have to just accept what it is going in.

Yeah. Yeah. And then it's okay. It's this expectation that someone is moldable to your will. And you don't actually want someone who's moldable to your will. Because if you did, they'd be really boring. Yeah. And actually, just focus on that, I think I'd say the difference is, is the joy. you know, actually, I mean, maybe some people do want someone who they can manipulate to their will, but you probably don't. I remember all those things have a good side and a bad side. You know, the person who can, you know, some people are planners, aren't they, and they want somebody who plans everything.

But then when you suddenly go, should we just stay out late? Like, I don't know, walk down the embankment till three. They wouldn't do that if they were a planner. They'd go, no, because at 7.30 I've got to get up. so now I need to go home. I've got to do the washing. So roll with it. If they're not going to do the washing

and you're, you know, you've just got kind of chaos everywhere. Well, they probably also will walk down the embankment till three in the morning. So you can't have both. So, yeah. What would you say to somebody who, I have this quite a lot with friends of mine

who say, I don't want to go on the apps. I want to meet someone in real life. And I just want to shake them and say, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. You have to, if the best chance you have. is to do both. Well, I think.

Yeah, it's really interesting. Nobody wants to meet someone on that. I don't believe. No one at all. That is not a nice. Yeah, it's like they think it's a unique personality trait. Yeah. No, it's like, it's, of course not.

But you just have to go through this, I think, these days. Well, sit back and wait if you want to wait forever or not. You know, that's fine. It is a choice, you know. So yes, you want to meet them in real life. Totally understand that. Absolutely no problem. But if you haven't, do you then have a choice?

So all I'd say is ideally you go to the pub or a party or a wedding or, you know, go to someone's house for supper and you meet someone. Definitely, that's the ideal. When you don't, because everyone's busy and you haven't got around to it and this, that and the other, do you sit and wait for another wedding? Maybe next year. I think, well, maybe next year I'll meet someone at that wedding. Oh, God. Or do you do something about it? And that's a choice, isn't it?

And so I guess are you going to be proactive or not? And I, you know, I can't say which is right. And if somebody wants to say single, then that's fine. It's just that because of the world of the internet that we live in, there are events that people go to, but, you know, people can get some kind of social life without going out. So there's less opportunity to meet people. So I'd say, I'd agree with you.

I'd do both. I mean, I'd just, like, why not? What have you got to lose? That's what I think. And I think because now going out is different. Like, it used to be that you'd go out to meet somebody, and now people go out to spend time with their friends and have a good time and then meeting people on the app.

So you're not getting, people aren't being approached so much. That's so true. You're like going to pubs. It's like, oh, going out is to spend time with people and the apps are a different thing. Like it's completely changed. Yeah. That's so true. You go out and you're like in your little unit because you're like, I never get to see these people.

You've got to stay away from me. Because you used to go out all the time with your friends. That time wasn't so sacred. So you would be more open to like chatting to. like chatting to boys and stuff like that. But no, if a man approaches when I'm seeing my female friends, maybe for the first time in three months, because it's the only time we've had to get together,

if someone comes over, I like bark at them. Go away. She is a labrador. She is. Whereas you used to be like, oh, we'll all go out and, like, we'll make eyes with, like, a group of lads. And that, I'm like, you stay away.

I might not see them again until December. Yeah, see, I think you're spot on. I think that is very much the case, which I think, and there are events you can do. And we're teaming up with loads of really cool businesses and doing nights where, all days, where there's an activity and people can go who are single to do cool fun things, which is really cool.

Yeah, activity is good. It's the standing around. Setting around is hell. I think there's some really cool businesses that we're just about to start working with, which is really brilliant. But, you know, there might be 15, 20 people going to that. And that's cool.

Yeah. But, you know, you still might not fancy some of them or they might not fancy you. And so, you know, you're just, all you're doing is you're extending the possibility of meeting someone. And everyone, if everyone gets on board, everyone can benefit from this. That's, I guess what I'd say is, you know, my single friend is not for you. It's for you to help your friends. And, you know, that's basically it. I have one final question.

Sarah, will you meddle with our profiles? Definitely. Yes. Oh my God. I'm going to ask you a question. We're going to be fine. Literally, I'm going to be, I'm going to ask you. I'm just trying to think what question you need to ask you.

That's really fun. Definitely. Oh, I'm delighted. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you very much. Yeah. We can't wait to be my single friend. Jamie.

We're going to cut up our friends. And that's the other brilliant thing is that when you put people on my single friend, friend, there's a lot of weddings. And that's free champagne. So I'm like, boom. Okay. Be coming to the weddings. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I can't. So people can download the app at the moment. Yeah, download the app. It's, you know, it's a really exciting time. And, you know, he who dares wins. Yeah, it's new, it's early, it's empty, and we're going to have a good time. So, yeah, pop as many people as you can on and have fun.

Oh, my God. Oh my gosh, I can't wait. And if you're listening and you've got some great single friends, please put them on too so we can meet them. Yes. Lovely. And we'll put some of ours on, but no guarantees. No.

We'll have to be very careful because we want this to be a nice thing. We'll have to think about this. Is it ham? I knew she was going to deliver. She delivered. She delivered. Wow. She was like a deliveroo of knowledge.

Yeah, she really knows her stuff. And I love the meddling. I think it's a great character trait. It's a thing you don't hear about so much these days. It's like a thing from like Victorian times when there'd be like a lady who's meddling and people's like. It's such like a nice quality. It's a really good quality.

It's a really selfless quality. Everyone's too self-obsessed to be having the time to meddle in other people. Yeah, because I think with love and meeting somebody, you need help sometimes. It's really hard. If you put yourself out there, if you're in a relationship, Like think of your single friends that you have because you could you could help. Yeah. Please help.

Please. Please if you do anything today, help a single friend. For just three minutes a day, you could help your single friend go from matching on hinge. Yeah. To kissing in the park. Yeah. Wow. That's all possible.

God, I'd love to kiss in the park. Oh, in summer on a summer evening. I was going to say I can't wait to watch you kiss in a park without. I want a kiss in a park. Not what you're going to kiss in a park yet. I don't know what happened there. Anyway, so. Great, great, great.

Thank you so much, Serabini. You can download my single friend on app stores. And find us there. I think at the moment it'll just be ours. A couple of Serabini's friends and you. We're on the ground. We're on the ground. Hello, me again.

Amy Gledhill, but this time I'm with... Not Harriet Kemsley. Whoa! W.T. Fuck! What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Off a Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast. That's not about the news. Don't worry, single ladies. No, it's not about the news.

It's not about being single. No. It's about the North. And all of our stories are about couples. That is not the truth, Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff. funny stuff that's going on up north that we're reporting back on.

Things like pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire Village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in Bath, Matt. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Nappit, Ed Campbell and Ross Noble. Who joined us in the studio. Woo-hoo! Yeah. That's Northern News, wherever you get your podcasts.