Single Ladies In Your Area - Catholic Guilt 00s Womens Magazines And Being The Main Character With Alison Spittle

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This week Amy and Harriet are joined by the utterly hilarious Alison Spittle, who answers questions like how do you become the main character in your own life? Has anything really changed since the toxic messaging in 00s women’s magazines? And what really happens when you combine a boy in a car, a dock leaf, and a goose?Catch Alison's brand new show 'Big' on tour. For tickets and information head to her website alisonspittle.com, and follow her on Instagram @alisonspittle.And listen to her brand new podcast Magazine Party wherever you listen. We are recording a special LIVE edition of the podcast on Saturday 13 September as part of the London Podcast Festival! For tickets and information head to plosive.co.uk.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, this is Harriet Kemsley, and I'm very excited to be back on tour around the UK with my new show, Flusi. As listeners of the podcast will know, I am really trying my best to be a bit of a flusie, but it's not going particularly well. The dates are on sale now. It's going to be autumn 2026. For tickets and information, head to plosive.com.com. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down.

But we're back out there. We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on.

Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Back this episode, I have a story about a friend who tries to, Wingman me and it doesn't feel natural. What? And then we talked to the brilliant Alison Spittle about Catholicism and hand jobs. Hello, Betty.

Hello, baby. Hello, Betty. It's so nice to be back in pod. We're back doing pod. Back, pod. We must pod. Where we belong. Pod.

Pod. I went to the other day. Like, it's so rare that I get like an evening to myself with nothing to do. I had the first one in, I mean, in months, maybe even this year. Mabel was with her father and I was so tired. I was so, like, stress. But I had no work. It was crazy.

I had this evening. I'd had this, like, sinus infection. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to go to a pool with the steam room. And I'm just going to have, like, I'm just going to try and feel a bit better and then have a swim and like feel better. And it was crazy. It was so nice. And then I was just like sat on the lounger.

And there was this guy learning. He was like, it was like 7 p.m. in the evening or something. He was having swimming lessons. and it was so attractive. I don't know what. There was just something about like, because it was like weirdly like vulnerable.

Yeah. Like a grown man to be like learning to swim. But he was so like cool about it. And he looked so like, like he was so musly. But it was like he was like learning, had to swim with like floats and stuff. Oh my God.

And it was so attractive. And I was just sat there and I was like, if this was like sex in the city or whatever, like I'd like catch his eye. But I was like, oh, that's, it's so interesting. Like when you're kind of becoming aware of what's attractive and what's interesting. And did you make a move?

I didn't make a move. I just sat there, you know, like sniffling with my science infection. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, wow, I, like, really like that. Wow. And I really like that trait in men of, like, learning something and not being like,

he was, like, really listening to the instructor, you know, like, just really, like, interested and really trying to learn. I just thought it was really attractive. Once again, the bar is solo. Yes. It's so... But I think it is something that wouldn't, that men might not necessarily think would be attractive.

It might be something that would be like, oh, but this would be like unattractive, whatever. And it's like, no, that they've got something in their work. I don't know. Like, I just thought that was really nice. And it's like really brave to be like, hey, I'm a grown man. I'd like a swimming lesson, please. Yes. Like, that is hot.

It was hot. I'm very excited about this part because we've got Alison Spittal coming up. Yeah, we love Alison. I think she's so funny. Yeah. And in the chat we have with her, we talk a lot about wing woman in. Yeah, we've mentioned it before about how she wingwomened you. And so, yeah, I was excited to hear the full story.

I actually had a little wingwoman or wingman of my own. A wingman? I had a little wingman. A little while ago. Somebody we both know. Little Johnny Pelham. Hi, little Johnny Pelham. Was there the second father to my child.

He and we were at this barbecue and then we got talking to this like hot guy. And then we were talking to him And then he was like, he was like fun as well But then he had a really cool job And then he left and me and Joe And then me and Johnny were like, oh my God And then he was like he's attractive And he was like, I think he likes you

And I was like, oh my God, you think And he was like, yeah like I think he likes you And then he was like, I'm gonna be a wingman I'm gonna work out if he likes you or not And then I was like this is really fun Because how is Johnny gonna do this? Like how is he gonna do it in a way that like feels natural.

And then I, and then the guy came back, you're like, okay. And then I was like, what is Johnny going to do? And so then the guy was like telling a story of how if like he gets lottery tickets or whatever. And then Johnny went, yeah, so if you were to win the lottery, would you share that win with your partner? Oh, smooth operator. And it was, there was a long pause.

And Johnny looked so like, Mark. Yeah, I really eased that in in what might have been the most obvious move I've ever seen happen in my whole life. There was long, wasn't he was like, oh yeah, well, yeah. Then it turned out he did have a partner, but they were, like, breaking up or something,

it was confusing. But yeah, it was just, it's just fun to be in that kind of era, you know. It's like so funny to be, like, come out of a marriage and then, like, so many of our friends when relationships and now we're kind of single and we're like, I don't know, it just all feels very silly. It's very silly. Well, I don't think Johnny smashed that, to be honest.

Not subtle there. He was so proud of himself. That's what's so sad. Do you know what? We should mention Johnny's a straight man. Yes. I think when you think of like a wing man, you think of like maybe a sort of gay guy.

A Stephen Bailey who knows what they're doing. Who takes you by the hand and tells us what to do. But Johnny, he's just trying his best. He's literally pushed me in a bush like twice in my life. Like this is not the person that should be. She'll be insisting me in this, you know? No. But I tell you who is. I tell you who is the best.

Well, it's our guest, Alison Spittle, of course. Should we bring her on? Yes. All right. Get her in. Get her in. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunch.

Hello. Hello. We're with Alison Spittle. Hey, how are you doing? Hi. Hi, I got super glue on my fingers. Oh dear. He's stuck to something.

No, yes. was I was building a car for a thing in the fringe. It's like this weird You know the way there's like comedians do table tennis or all those things So now it's come to like one of its final forms Which is like where comedians have to build

A remote control car Yeah I know it is silly Why? It's a lot of work I agree to it there was a lot of work It's a lot of work Like robot wars

Like robot wars Yeah Yeah. I actually did like it. Sir Kill a Lot. Oh, yes. I fuck. Sir Kilal Lot.

Me too. Sergeant Bash. Sergeant Bash would get it. Yeah, absolutely. Matilda? Matilda, look. Yeah, yeah. Okay, this is a bit nerdy how your name checking one of those, to be honest.

Them robots were hot. They were hot. They were hot. They were hot. Yeah. And they sort of come in with all this confidence. They're like, get lost. Get lost.

Bang! Bang! When they get stuck on their side, though, that was so, that was an ick. That's an it. That is a total it. The wheels are moving.

Wheels still go in. It's like when a man cries or he gets to float. That's one of your eyes, it's one of a man cries. It's like, one's your weakness. We're learning. No, but you're like,

oh, you're vulnerable. This is nice. Oh, she likes it, actually. I'm not afraid anymore. This is good. Yeah. I like that is when they have the flu as well. You're like, I feel safe around you when you're slightly incapacitation.

Genuinely. Genuinely. Yeah, it's beautiful. When you have to hand the man toilet paper, that is like, you know, it's a community. It feels good. Yeah. It feels good. I feel safe.

Yeah. Fuck marry, kill. Matilda, Sergeant Bash or... Okay. Or Sir Kill a lot. All right. I'm going to marry Matilda. Nice.

The best personality of them all. Absolutely. The most stable, in my opinion. But then, I mean, and she's got like three prongs, which I feel is good for a marriage. It's basically a big fork. And I like that. Feed me, Matilda. And then I'd like to fuck both, Sergeant Bash, and so kill a lot.

I'm going to three. I'm going to threesome than birth. Yeah, but it's a bit. And they kill them. And they kill them. It's a murder of suicide orage. Yeah. And it would be as well, because if you tried to have sex with them, it would be.

very dangerous actually. You're not getting out of it well. Listeners do not try and have sex with a robot. That is specifically made to harm other robots. Yeah, especially made by a father-son, duo, Tobon. Craig Charles in the corner. Doing a performer.

The son's just crying. Daddy, what is she doing to my robot? It's war. It's war. Sorry to bring you on this. No. I didn't think we'd talk about robot wars.

You never know where this podcast is going to go. And that's part of the fun. We don't know. We should. We probably should know. We should be in charge. We should be leading it. We know it's something to do with romance.

A lot of the time. Not always. No. But a lot of the time. And I just want to bring up that Allison was an incredible wing woman to me in Kilkenny. Allison has been name checked on the podcast before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You might recognize the name, Alison, We had a great night. Yeah, you were my first ever willful wingwoman I've ever done. When I was a teenage, when as a kid, like, you do it by, by osmosis, you are a wingwoman in. And I really used to hate it because it used to be like, because I'm the fat girl in the friendship group. So it would be like men mustering up the strength to be nice to me for two minutes in a nightclub. Just enough. they can chat to my mate.

So, like, it was great to go, I'm doing this, it's happening. And we had to pick pubs. We'd pick different pubs to go to. Yeah. And one guy got thrown, we went into the first pub. And it was like, really,

it was a lot of music in it. And this dude got thrown out in the nicest way I've ever seen. And the bouncer was like, come on now, you really do have to go home. And he's like, you know what, you're dead right? The sound. Fair play.

Fair play. And he just got us off into the night. And I was like, what a beautiful experience between the two and those men. It was gorgeous. And then I instantly was like, okay, well now I'm in love with that bouncer kiss. He dealt with that.

He was so calm and nice and he had empathy. And was a strong man. He was dressed in like nearly camel gear as well. Yeah. And when they're so strong but they don't have to use it, but you know that it's there. That is the greatest. That is genuinely the greatest.

Genuinely like that is more, if you think punching a person is hot, It's not. It is. It's stopping a punch. Stop at a punch. With words. With words, but looking like you could give one.

Oh! That is it. We've nailed it. It's strong but can't. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's really beautiful.

So that was a wash. And then we went to the next one. Yeah. This dude kept miming at you. Yeah, you saw the mime. He was a very talented mime. That's what we've heard. Yeah.

He was so true. I can't even explain to you. He was better than anything. clown I've ever seen in Edinburgh. Yeah, I was like, this is the thing. I don't, like, there was a bit where he kept, you were miming making cups of tea for each other. Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah, flirting, look it up. Yeah, carry on. He would mind pissing. And then you were like, Hey! I'm listening. And open-bound. But I don't think you,

recital movement. No, I don't think you knew he was pissing yet. Do you know what I mean? You were just going like, ah, like that. And I was like, she's a yes and her. Yes, and her. You give her something, she'll come back.

She's, she's in for bit. That is how piss play starts, isn't it? Yes, and it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Understand the trajectory. I think he was going through the whole, like, process of, like, I've had the tea.

Now I'm digesting the tea. Oh, it was very thorough. It was very thorough. And he was very good. He was very good at acting. It was incredible. And he was, like, yeah. I really wanted it to work between you two.

Because he was hot. He was hot. You go from there, though, you know. But there was a point where it's like, we sat there for ages. And his mates were really willing for it to happen. Yeah. But I don't know. And then it just got to a point where it's like, I can't sit and mime any longer.

I know. We've got to go. I know. But then, yeah, we left. And then I, and then Allison did a very heroic thing and wrote my number on a napkin. Yes. I felt like I was in a 90s film. Me too.

It was beautiful. It was, I felt like Sarah Silverman in a 90s film, which is best, mate of romantic protagonist. Oh my God. It was great. Like for the, you know, it was like wing womaning. Yes. So, yeah, felt very cool.

I think we should do more numbers on napkins. I was somewhere recently, you were there as well where somebody put a number on a napkin. Where there was a number on a napkin that was given to a lead singer in a band. It's actually the drummer. Oh, I'm so sorry. It wasn't me. The drummer. And it's just, why aren't we doing that more?

It's hot. I think QR codes. Why don't we? Yeah. Yes. Get like a little QR code. Let's get flyers printed and we hand them out. Okay.

We've got our stats. We've got our age. My address. Free comedy. Yeah. Free comedy. My Google SEO. So you know, like what, like, have I done any crimes?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Yes. That's it. This is great. A clean bill of health.

If you've had an STD test recently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because that used to be something I feel like you'd give out a car. card maybe. Like, do you remember like you'd give out like a business card?

Well, there was, I remember I had these cards. It was like, it was like a card that you could get like, it was from like FCUK or something. And then it had like FCUK and then you could put like your number and your name on the back and you could give them to somebody when I was like a teenager. I never did. But it's a lovely idea, you know. Yeah. I think that's, I think we have to be a bit more forward maybe because it's so frustrating when you're just sat there. And then you're like, okay, we've done all the thing.

Like now you've got to move. Guys, you've got to move. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't keep, the miming is just... We can't keep miming. Yeah. No.

No. We left. We did leave. We did leave. And he didn't message me. No. And you saw him in the cab shop after, but I was expecting a full message. I did think, like, how do I say this about Irish men?

But I was surprised at the lack of, like, closing that an Irish lad would do. So you think Irish lads are good at closing the deal? No, because, right, because my friend Fern loves Irish lads. And she says, yeah. then it's specifically because they're shy. So now I get it. Okay. You think they're shy?

Yeah. They're definitely shy when it comes to closing the deal. Really? Because they've got all the charm. They've got all the chat, but they can't close the deal. There's a bit of guilt. There's a bit of guilt. I think there is.

I do think there's an element of little bit of guilt. Yeah, it's not because he thought it was unattractive. No. He just felt guilty because of Catholicism. He felt the power of the Lord, the Holy Spirit. I can't. He was thinking about the Virgin Mary. Can't compete with Mary.

With Mary. You cannot compete with Mary. You can't. I'm sorry. She's a hoi. She's a icon. She's an icon. She's an icon.

She's an icon. It's a... Yeah, I thank you for that because I had a great time. Even just having a mime with a boy was exciting. It's just nice having a wing woman. It's just nice when somebody, if anyone's listening in a relationship, it's like... When you're rooting for you.

Yeah, to have something to be rooting for you and to be, like, invested. Like, I think it can be fun if you're in a relationship. But also, you know, like, it just feels like, it is harder and we are on our own and if somebody's just like hey I want to set you up with somebody or I want to do this like it's a nice thing to do

and it's a nice thing of going when do I leave like when is it safe for me to leave yes yeah the harder you work the soon you can go home yeah you're home with them you're guiding them into each other

and you're like I'm done you've achieved something yeah you can sleep no you've done a good day's toil you're just sitting in a cock chair going work done yeah you're doing great guys it's a real good stuff

Communicate. Oh, is message back? It's not good. The reason you were the wingwoman is because you are in a relationship. Yeah. Long time. Yeah, you're in a long term relationship.

Yeah. We live together. Yeah, we got together before the May and calendar 2012. What was it? Do you remember when the world was supposed to end? Oh, yeah. I was like, oh, I'm so sad. I found love right before then.

I was like, of course this would be me. finding a relationship and then like we're just going to have to deal with the Mayan calendar ending at the end of the world happening and it was like yeah

genuinely very happy to survive that yeah we all are yeah I know I know I was I was I was thinking this is going to be my last Olympics

in May and calendar I'm never going to compete like that was the only thing stopped for me what would be your sport Weightlifting. Yeah.

I love to do weightlifting. Really? Yeah, I love picking up my boyfriend. What? I do. I love like, yeah, I'm trying to make them go on my back. Like I'll go jump on my back. Yes.

And then carry him around and stuff and go, I am strong. Oh, I love this. I love kind of like, I love pretending I'm stronger than my boyfriend. Okay. Do you know what I mean? But are you stronger than him? No, I don't know. We've discussed having fights before.

Like, who would win in a physical hand combat. And I've been very much. I was very like, I'll gouge the eyes. I was very like... Oh, you're a dirty fighter. I was going into detail. Yes, mate. Yes, mate.

But that's who's going to win. That's it. But then he said that he would win because he would punch me. But I'd be so shocked by it than then he'd win after. Do you know what I mean? He was like, my emotions were getting the way.

Yeah, not if he's coming out of a bad light. Is he coming out of the... You both are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Either of you are coming across very well right now. Yeah.

If it helps your birth toxics. Okay. That's what you want. Nice. You're bad. Yeah, that's good. So how did you meet? We met on a podcast recording years ago.

And it was like, yeah, like before like charts existed and stuff like that. So I'm very much used to being like, I used to think I was asexual when I was a teenager. And then I moved out of my village. And then I was like, okay, I'm not. That was the, you know, I was very much like, okay, you know, that exists. So you were asexual because they just, you hadn't met anybody if you were attracted to. Yes, or related to. Wow.

That's so many. That was kind of like my thing. And then like I was very, yeah, I just didn't really fancy anyone. And I knew I fancied him, but I was so used to being mates with lads. And I just didn't know how to go about that at all or a flirt or anything.

So I had it in my head. I was like, okay, we're just going to be friends. And that's going to be great because he's really funny and he really likes films and stuff like that. We'll go watch for TV together. And it'll be great because he'll just be in my life. And that'll be great. And then like a couple of like months after we were sitting watching, what was it,

Amour, the film by Michael Hanukkah. Oh my God. It was one of the most horrific films ever seen about like. It's about an old couple and one of them gets a stroke and then there's a nightmareish down spiral. Oh, yes. I was crying watching that and I was like, that's the best anyone can hope for. These two people are so in love and they're so culturally active and you see their daily routine. then you see what's happening.

I'm like, that is the best. I don't even hope for her. I started crying loads. And I had no tissues with me because I didn't know what it was. And I was just absolutely snotting in front of them. And I was like embarrassed about that. But then at one point, like our two arms were touching on the side.

And it felt like, I felt like I was scalded. I felt like someone had thrown a hot cup of tea on my arm. And I was like, well, if I don't react, then I won't be weird about it. And that would be okay. But also I don't want to pull away my arm. So it was just like that.

And then about two months after that, we both got drunk in a smoking area of a pub and just told each other that we liked each other. Oh, yeah, and this is the other thing. Sorry about it. No. So we went to see a gig with Ben Tarashe. And he had a thing where he told the audience to hold hands.

So we held hands. Oh, my God. And we didn't let go. And we just kept drinking until we could tell each other, that we liked each other. So that was that. If you get married, you need Ben to do like the, um, be the efficient.

Yeah. I've told Ben, we and him, I've told Ben, Ben Targeet is a comedian, and he was like, okay, cool. And I was like, okay. And he wasn't excited by it. And you changed my life.

We were being a bit freaky. We were just like, you can all believe what that happened. But yeah, that was that. Yeah, because he meant so much to you. And then he was like, I was just doing my show, guys. Yeah.

And then he, like, we kissed in Temple Barre and a guy who is a comedian, text me and goes, I seen you kissing this guy. down the alleyway. And then I was like, I just got that text and I was beside him. And I was like, oh, he's after saying it.

He's like, we're just going out and he doesn't have to have anything else. And I was like, okay. And that was that thing. So that's that. Yeah. So the male comedian sent it as like being like a snitch. A kind of thing. A bit of, well, I've got dirt on you.

Big time because I was a big like, I'm a frigid. I don't care about lads. All this type of thing. So, yeah, he caught me. So that was kind of like your thing. Like that was your persona. was like, I, this is my persona,

this is what I live by, I'm somebody who's not attracted. To anyone. Yeah, that was definitely my persona. And it was like, especially, and it was kind of like a role

I had in my friendship group. And like, I was always, I was always just making sure people got home in taxis and stuff like that or like if like, you know,

I was being always protective. But no one ever kind of came up to me at a nightclub or anything like that. And that so it wasn't like a thing that I was like prepared for sounds like I'm prepared for. sounds like I'm preparing for the end of the world, which I was. Do you think it was like kind of a self-protection thing?

It's like a two-way street thing where if you're not putting yourself out there with anybody, they're not putting anything towards you. And so it's like you're not putting out that energy. And the less energy you're getting back, the more you're like building up a wall. I think so. And the other thing is I knew like this sounds terrible. But it wasn't as if I wasn't confident that I could get the ride because men are men. and like they'd ride a cracked plate

like no you know what it be Hallelujah so it was just like so it wasn't like I was sorry for anyone there who can't get laid at the moment any women out there sorry that you're worse than a crack plate

I was like yeah men would absolutely do that and then I was just like I didn't have sex for over a year I'm so sorry I can't be it but I wasn't for it anyway but you always could that's the thing you always could Could we? Yeah, but it's like, it's a, it's a choice, you know. Is it?

Yeah, yeah. There are, of course, there's people that would have sex with you. But then you're not seeing them. I would just check your Instagram. Yeah, genuinely. Yeah. And that's not, I don't think that's like, if you are like, oh, I think it's good to be there with the knowledge that, like, you could get the ride if absolutely desperate, desperate,

but you're not that desperate. Okay. You know what I mean? That's the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You live in your life of digging. Not to say that having sex is undignified. Yeah.

But just like... But lowering your standards just because you want to have a really, yeah. I think it's like, because I'm ex-Catholic, I'm so... Not Catholic anymore. But it's stuck to me like chewing gum on the inside of my chest. Of course. Or just isn't like leaving me. When did you make the transition to being not Catholic?

Oh. When I was about 13. Really? Yeah. I watched a film called The Magazine. I'm like, it's a horrific film. I've not seen it. Oh, I had it on VHS and I would play it at every sleepover.

Really? That's fun. That's fun. Yeah. I'm like, you wouldn't believe what these guys did. It's so weird. No one wants to have sex with me and I keep playing them the Magdalene sisters. It's so weird.

What do they do? What happened? Oh, so women in Ireland were imprisoned and like kept as like, I would say slaves by the government and Catholic Church for having sex out of wedlock or even being seen to be. wanting to have sex. Oh my God. It was ridiculous. And having children

outside bedlock. It's not a barrel of laughs. Okay. But I used to watch it all the time. And then, yeah, I lost faith. My dad is like English and very not Catholic.

He was very like, oh, this is the light of old shit. You know? So it was like, it was a weird kind of, I always thought my dad was going to hell and that the rest of the family would end up in Catholic heaven.

Oh my God. And I felt so. But I kept trying to convert my dad, like, just throw a water at him and say a quick prayer beforehand. Yeah, it's so funny. He's just about to go out to work and then he just threw a bucket over his head and he's like, God damn it. The power of Christ compels you, Dad. The power of, have a great blessed day. So how did being Catholic as like a young teenager?

Yes. Oh, we've like, do you want to, do you want my teenage, like, lad life kind of thing? I love this. Yeah. Okay. So I grew up in a coach. I grew up in this like, I didn't like the men in my village. There was a thing, though, of like to try,

and the one of the most ultimate goals you can have as a teenager is to get a lad with a car. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, because there was no public transport in my area. So it was the nearest. Yeah. It really was a lifeline. Well, I'll tell you this story about my first date ever.

Okay. I text a lad with a car. And my friends were all excited for me. And they were like, oh, my God, he's going to come and pick you up. I'm like, yes. So we go to the cinema. I leave halfway through. He takes this as a kind of like indication that I am just like raring to go.

And like he goes, do you want to have a look at the lake? The lake is really beautiful this time of night, right? And I'm like, how beautiful can a lake be? In the dark. I know, but I'm like, this man is a driver. He must see stuff that I don't see. So I'm like, I'm ready. He's done his hazard perception.

He can see stuff. Exactly. We're there by a lake. it's really dark, then what happens is he takes out his dick, right? And I'm like, am I going to make this fellow off? Like, I thought that to myself. And then the second question hit my head,

which was, Alison, how are you going to get home? So I answered my first question. Oh, fucking. Had there been any kissing or anything before this? Of course. Like a little bit of, yeah, sorry. It wasn't, yeah. Yeah, we did have a shift.

But there was like, there was this kind of sense that like, do you know, you can't see it, you can't feel it, you can't hear it, but you just know that there's a, an exposed penis nearby. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think the sense

that you're missing is smell. Yeah. Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was a, yeah. It was a Toyota star in there. So we'll have to pack it of ham out. It's a pretty bear.

No, but it didn't meet. So it was a combo meat as well. They do have personalities though, you know? You know, sometimes it's like it's looking at you or something and then you're like, something's looking at me.

You know when you feel like somebody's looking at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a Disney princess sidekick. Like, do you know the way in Moulin, she had several things? Like a candle arborer in meeting the beach.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the luckily, definitely. Definitely. Then I decide, because I'm like in the car and like, I'm like, right, I know I'm going to wank him off. I'm at peace with this, right? I've kissed them, like, you know what I mean? It's my teenage kind of like way. And then I'm like, right, well, if I'm going to have to wank him off,

I'm going to pick my, I'm going to pick the music, right? And I put on, like, the radio. This is your first wanking off. In a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. You've, you've curated the music for it. Like, this is so powerful.

Like, out of, like, dangerously it is. I am ready. It's just a handjob and a car. Instead of Reese, Swinbersfield, being laid back with candles around her. It's a rural Toyota Starlight. Just Alison Spittle spitting in her hand. Yeah, Jasmine Spittle.

Oh, my man. I treated it agriculturally. Like, genuinely, I was like, right, this is something we have to do. So, like, what was the music you picked? Well, this is it. So I did put on the news because I thought it'd be funny. And it was like, and informative. Yeah.

Because that's good. There was quite a large natural disaster that weekend. I thought that would soften. Oh, sure. But no, he remained. He remained. I was like, okay. So then I put on Johnny Cash Hart.

It was a country music song. Wow. Which is a cover version of a 9-inch Nails song about heroin. It's the most unhand jobable song you've ever heard in your life. I think, personally. Wow. What's the temper? What we're talking about?

Why am I doing my hand by that? We need to see the hand bumbling. It's like it's a metron job. Temper would be. It's like you can't listen to it without your body going into automatically. You can't listen to the song without the movement's coming back. Genuinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a psychological thing. So, Proust is that it. But he came quite quickly. And not to brag. Clang. Clang. Wow. First time as well.

She's a pro. So then I'm looking because when you do that in a car, there's stuff on my hand. And he receives a lot of hand jobs and carers, but he doesn't really cater for them. So there's no, like, tissues. So he receives a lot of time. He doesn't have tissue boxes.

He took it out quick. There was a system. You know what I mean? Yeah. Take it to the lake. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Take it to the lake.

So I'm looking and there's nothing about my hand on. So I open up the car door and I'm like reaching around for some sort of vegetation. Like a weird bear grills. Yeah. Dukleaf or something. You've got good initiative. Yeah. That's what we're learning.

Yeah. Darkleaf is the best one. It is nature's rankrag. Like truly. She's tried them all. Stinging nettles. No. It's bad.

It doesn't work. Exactly. I can't count for a tuliff. Yeah. Yeah. Sting nettles is like those weird loops you get. That. tingle for the tiger balm

yeah and you're like this was a mistake I'm not that type of girl I'm a dark leaf girl but it got it straight off like genuinely dark leaf straight off and I'm like

there was a dockleaf shut the front door so the dark leaf got it off and then I'm like then I'm like delighted I'm like I have worked with the environment and then I look and there's like there's a goose in the

in my eye line in the car no Oh, no. Imagine. Now's my turn. And he takes out his corkscrew. You know what I mean?

And you're like, we're going to need the nine-inch nail version for this one. So Allison marked off a goose. I liked on the goose. Yeah. But genuinely, the goose is looking at me. And I did feel judgment from the goose. Like I was like, you know. But I don't know if that was me reflecting my own thing.

And then I was like, where was the goose five seconds ago? Yeah. I could I use it then. Oh, that's lovely. You'd feel like Snow White. I'm trying to think of like... Yeah, I guess. I guess.

I guess you would feel like a Disney princess one can smile off in the car and then just wiping on a goose. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it's a dramatic story either. Yeah. You try and recreate it in a Disneyland and you get a lifetime ban

and you're like, what? Oh my. I thought this is a place of freedom. Freedom of speech. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Now here's a question.

Yes. How does life get better after that? Roses are red, violets are blue. We've matched on an app. What you up to. Because you're doing a new podcast about magazines, which is very exciting. Poppy Hill's dead.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we love. Lovely, lover. Were you a magazine reader when you were a teen? And did you learn about, like, hand jobs and how to wipe on a dock leaf from a magazine? Because you seem like a pro. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is great, quite, I think, like, there's definitely, Cosmopolitan. Okay. Was obsessed with telling you to use your teeth in a blowjob. What? And I wasn't interested in it.

What? They did. They were always, like, a little nibble. A little nibble on the back of the... A graze. Yes, a graze. What? Yeah.

But what is a grace? Well, this is it. The pressure is, um, is important. This is the thing we should be doing. I think we shouldn't do anything that Cosmopolitan tells us to do. Okay. But, yeah, it was an... the pressure.

I also feel like they're obsessed with them ice cubes. Yeah. And they're like, put ice cubes in your mouth and then you go down. But it was like, it was always so much homework. You'd get brain freeze.

And then the ice would melt into the back of your throat. You're waterboarding yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Like it was ridiculous. And actually, yeah, sometimes it would be kind of like brutally cold for them. Yeah.

It'd be like a very Arctic. I've not heard either of these tips. Would they recoil? Like, would that happen? What's there? So wait. Because I didn't read magazines when I was young. So I might get it right that the advice that they were giving young women

is to put ice cubes in your mouth and then use your teeth on a penis. I think there was one person that it was their job to write the sex column. And they were very panicked. And every week they'd look around the office and they'd think, a straw. I can see a straw, put the straw up their butt. Like something like that. Like it was very, like, grabbing what was around.

They'd see a coin and then a cub. They're like, that's a penis. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Spin it round, use your teeth all the way around, but spin it. Yeah. Okay, interesting. So there was like, there was weird advice, but, like,

there was kind of like these take-a-break magazines that give, like, top tips and stuff, and they'd be, like, they're incredible. It would always be, like, keep wrappers off your roses chocolates for, like, for a point of whimsy. You know, put it up an arse. It isn't that. What? No, joking. I was like,

Huh? I've got so much to learn. Because you didn't read magazines growing up. No. But I would read them obsessively. To like try and garner like knowledge. Yeah. Because the internet, I guess now you just use the internet. Yeah, the internet didn't quite exist when I was a teenager.

Yeah, it didn't have this kind of stuff on it, you know. Whereas I was like obsessively reading magazines for tips. But I'm like very, I think I'm quite like literal with things. And so I'm like be a bit, I'd find it a bit confusing. Okay. because we're like, try and remember this, and then you've got to have the ice cubes. You've got to have this.

Like, it's just like a lot of things to remember. Yeah. You were putting a dick in your mouth and then biting down on an ice cube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to get the order, right. It's a complicated thing. And then they'd have, like, the positions of the fortnight.

Like, that was the thing we're talking about that was in Moore magazine. Do you remember that? No. Yeah, so like every fortnight, there'd be a different position. And then you'd be like, but how do you get in that?

I don't even understand. Yeah. Especially when you're working, like your partner is a, teenage boy. You know what I mean? Like you're not working with somebody that's They're not professional.

They're not professional. No. Did you ever bring a magazine to a boy and got this is the position? Or was it like a more a foreman type thing of like this is what I've read something. We're going to try it. I've got the plans in my head. I've got the plans of how this is going.

I've got to try. That's really interesting. Yeah, because my first boyfriend, like we were like he was very like open with stuff like that we were trying. But I don't know if I ever actually showed him like a magazine. It was more like a, it was more a secret lady thing, I think, where you'd like get the tips. Because it was very much like, what do men want? Like, how do you please a man?

It's always framed that way, isn't it? It's like, what do men want? But also you're supposed to pretend that you're doing this from, like, nature or like that there's no, you haven't put any effort into trying to be what a man wants. Yeah. So weird. It's hard. It's a hard line to tread, isn't it? Naturally talented, but not a whore.

Yeah. It's a very fine line between them. at sex despite never having had it with anyone else ever before. That's just born like, that's so true. That's so true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you need to like want it but like you need to be convinced a little bit. Yeah. You can't like they would feel which is really fucked off. Yeah. That was always the thing of like

you were meant to say no and then they were meant to push. Like isn't that just so horrible? It makes me feel sick when I think about it. But like that was the that was the rhetoric that you shouldn't, they should say no and then the game would be that then they try and convince you.

Yeah. Because I think from men's point of view, it was always like how to get the woman, like how to make her say yes. It's like how to trick her. How to trick her. How to manipulate. Yeah.

And then the women's was how to please him once he's manipulated you. And how to keep him. And how to keep him. Like for men it's how to get. For women it's how to keep. Oh God. Yeah. Absolutely.

Like it is mental. And they're both coming at it from a manipulation point of view. And it's so sad because they both want, the same thing. But we're kind of like made to pursue. I hope it has to be different now. I don't know though. I had a lot of faith and then adolescence came out and I'm like,

oh, we're fucked. Yeah. I was going to say, I bet those magazines can't get away with this stuff anymore. But on TikTok, people are saying the same things. Like how to please man, how to get a man. Like it's exactly the same. Yeah. And it's like, and people are getting advice either from like weird incels from Luton

who like, who's, who. That's so specific. Yeah, it's a specific guy. It's a guy whose mother wound is a receding hairline. You know what I mean? And now we all have to pay for that. And or it is like fellow 15 year olds. And I don't think the, I don't think either advice is good.

Yeah. And yeah. But of course I would think that I'm like, my generation are the perfect generation. We know the way. You know? And meanwhile, We were being brought up by going like, put your teeth around a cock. Yeah.

Wow. Amy, we've got to get out there. We've got some little snippets from some magazines from the Y2K. That's a great era. It's a great era. Not problematic at all. No. So the first thing we've got is, the title is,

what makes a girl a scant? I love that. It sounds like, you remember that Westlowe song? Tell me what makes a skater? We're going to find out. We're going to find out. Let it rip, it says, here as well. Yeah.

So this is where they would ask, genuinely, this is where they would do little vox pops with teenagers. Yeah, also, we're led to believe. I mean, they could all be made up. Yes. What's interesting, though, is actually some of the ways they phrase it is like, actually, being a skank is great. Could be there.

No, no, no, they're like, uh, being a skank is bad. But you read it, you're like, oh, a skank is just a girl. it's quite confident. Yeah. No, because that's the scariest thing about a teenage girl

that's one having confidence that we had to destroy that. Yes. Yeah. I think a skank is a girl who would put guys before friends would do anything to please a guy even if it meant taking off her clothes. Then,

15 years old, Natalie, judgmental Natalie. Well, Natalie is obviously because I had to do lookout a lot of time. Like, if my mates were like wanking off a guy near a bin, I'd have to like make sure, I'd be.

a bouncer and make sure the football didn't go near that bin. You know what I mean? Wow. Okay. Great. I was very, did you? No, didn't have that. No.

I thought it was a universal experience. And that's a lot of my life is just saying something I think everyone has. And they never go, no. That was assault. And I'm like, oh, okay. Okay. Anyway, la la, la. So what would they be like, Alison, we need you, come here.

And then you get into your scout uniform. or whatever in your beer. I'd be like a lullipap lady was like, just like, stop. All right, he's come. Come on, love. Stop. And whank.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it would be like, I was very much the facilitator of stuff. So, like, Natalie, to me, I think I probably would be a bit natallyish when I was younger. Just out of like, because it's funny when you,

like, all I go, it's the first time was willfully being a wing woman. I do associate wing womaning with absolute work. Do you know what I mean? Like it would take me away from my night. Yes. Because I was never the main protagonist in my own night.

I'm a side character. Like when I watched normal people, didn't give a shit about two big characters. I wanted that fat friend in college. I was like, what's she doing? Is she studying? Do you know what I mean?

I wanted to, you couldn't make a full series of it. So this, this Natalie lady, I think she's a bit of a side character. She's a bit of you. And to take off her clothes, maybe she's taken off her clothes for her own pleasure.

Well, this is it. And they're like, oh, she's wearing a veiling clothes. She's strutting around. That's some of the other things they're saying. There's pictures next to them of these, like, really innocent-looking teenagers, and they're smiling. And one, Rebecca says,

Skanky refers to a girl wearing revealing clothing and caked in makeup, as opposed to a slut, which indicates... As opposed to a slut? But she sleeps around. But, like, the picture is like, hey, I'm an angel, I'm 15. And she's like, well, skanky's this, but a slut is this. It's like, wow. It's just making women slag each other off.

It's horrible. Yeah, it's horrible. Imagine being an adult with a journalism. degree going on to some 15-year-olds and go, what's a skank? Like, that's crazy. Yeah, like, yeah. And also, like, the music of our day, O, ITK was very much. Like Destiny's Child, there's a song called Nasty Girl, do you remember that?

Nasty put some clothes on, I told you, I told you, don't go out without your clothes on, I told you. It's a great song. It's a bop. Yeah. Is it saying what was said to them, though, or is it they talking to... Basically, the three women of Destiny's Child are going to... to this woman, you're destroying it

for good girls like us. We're trying to live our lives of dignity and you're going around with loads of makeup on and not much clothes and, you know, that was my bop. I would listen to that and go, yeah. Because it is the perfect cocktail of like ex-cophalicism because like I didn't believe in God, but I

did believe that there was an inherent evil within me sexually. Do you know what I mean? Like that didn't leave. That didn't, like why would it leave? You just go, You just go like, oh, the priests are bad. Yeah. Catholic Church is bad.

I don't believe in God. I've accepted I don't believe in God anymore. But then like your morality is it's bad to steal. It's bad to do, you know, do not disrespect your parents. Yeah, that's a good one. But then it's also like there's an inherent seed within women that is evil. Do you feel like, men can't control themselves and stuff? You're over it now.

Do you think it still affects sex for you? That's a good question. I'd say if I was single, I would know. Do you know what I mean? Like it's like. Because it's like, it's annoying as well, like, with my life. I haven't pursued. I would have loved actually to maybe like have a few years in me

where I just accepted myself and just like went and made an outright decision. Then I'm going to pursue something. But because it kind of happened for like by chance and everything and like we get on quite well. And yeah. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So there is this thing of like, I don't know if I'll know. and it's really annoying to me because like I know logically that the feelings I had when I was a teenager are so wrong and I would like be disgusted at anyone that had it I don't get to test it out now

because I'm in a relationship that's really annoying do you know? Yeah yeah yeah I'd like to I did see sex and relationships very much as like a pursuer thing from a man

and it has warped me It's a match earlier you said like you felt like you weren't like the main protagonist. Yes. And like you're like, do you feel like you are now? Yeah, but not in a romantic, not in like a normal people way. I'm the main protagonist now in something like that's like,

trying to think of something that isn't notes on a scandal. But like a film about a woman in her. Yeah, because that's not. Imagine if you're, well, I think I'm in my own little movie. Notes on a scandal. Arrest her now. Arrest her now. But you're, yeah. I feel like I'm a main character

and I think that's probably why I did stand up to become my own main character and it's probably why I'm pursuing the life I am now. Being a writer and I'm from a family that's like absolutely mad like there's just a different drama every time. I'm never at the centre

of it. I'm always observing and that helped me write stuff and I love doing that. I loved hiding and viewing and like I feel like sometimes I look at stuff and I'm not in it, but I know what that world is, because I'm around it. Yeah, well, I was just wondering, like, if you had any advice to anybody, because I'm sure

we've got listeners that maybe feel like their friends are in relationships or their friends are the ones that they kind of are standing next to and they're not being, and they don't feel like they're in it. So do you have any advice on how to find that? That's an, yeah, I'm going to be one of those annoying people. I've got, oh, no, yeah, the thing is like, so I've been like fat my whole adult life and like dating for me, I just didn't do it because like there was this thing of like I'm automatically, I think there's several different factors. I think my relationship with men as a whole. I didn't view men as like proper human beings and that's terrible to say. It is hard to do though. I do get it. It's terrible to say. It is hard. We

must remember that they are like human beings capable of being hurt capable of like having feelings and stuff like that. And then there's this thing of like, because I've been in a long-term relationship with someone, I've had other fat girls come up to me and go like, how have you done this? Like, how have you done this? And like, I have fat people in my life that I know and I love.

And they're in relationships with people that want to keep them secret and want to, they don't bring them to meet friends. They don't do that type of thing. And because I was like so closed off to that, to like affection and stuff like that. I know in the back of my head I could have got someone

they would have treated me like shit so I just step back that's a horrible way to feel about but I never have got hurt that way a lot of fat people in my life have been hurt that way I think like the thing is you do have to be okay with being on your own I was okay with being on my own

that's good to wait to somebody that appreciates you yeah don't accept anything that's not being on your own is far better than being of anyone that will treat like shit and like dirt and like I've just seen the way that people do relationships and it just didn't seem appealing to me. I didn't watch romantic comedies. The end goal of my life, what was the end goal of my life?

I don't know. Just like, I knew I wanted to get out of my village. And that was my main goal. Then when I moved to Dublin, I knew that I wanted to do comedy. So I did comedy. I think comedy is like my first love. And then, you know, I'm with this guy and it's great. And we share a love of comedy.

We share a life. and he's very kind of like, he's, that I'm the main protagonist in my own life. The advice is I really do think, it's so annoying, but get okay with yourself because no person is going to make you whole

and no person can, you can only do that yourself. You don't want to, as well as I, you don't want to meet a person and we all have baggage, but you do need to make an effort to sort out your baggage

before I do. Yeah, we talk about, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's good to be aware of it and stuff. And I have so much. You know, and also like, the other thing is he could die tomorrow, you know, and it's not going to be the end of my life. Well, this sounds, I have this sounds a bit like you're going to kill him. Yeah, that sounds terrible. I'll revert that back. But no, I don't know. I don't know. Like just to be. No, but that's, I get exactly what you mean. If you weren't together, you would still be okay. Your identity doesn't rely on him. I'd be thriving. I'd be thriving.

I'd be, but I would. But, like, I choose to share it with them. Yeah. Yeah, it's a choice. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, yeah, just be good with you. I feel like such an asshole.

Yeah, no, but it's true, isn't it? And I think even just, like, it's so important to recognise that if you're not feeling like the main character in your own life, like, you might not have even, listeners might not have even considered that. And then they might go, oh, God. Yeah, I feel like that. I feel like I'm on the periphery of the action. Yeah.

Like you say, like looking out for people while they're giving hand jobs by a bin. Like you're facilitating other people's lives. All the time. And I've definitely been, I very much think of, or did, I'm being a bit better now, but as the person who like holds people's bags and coats while they go on the ride. Yeah. And I feel like, oh, no, no, you go ahead because you're like, you're like the attractive ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're the one that can offer practical help. Yes. Yes. Because you're not, yes. I'm coming to terms of like the thing of like I was felt like when I was in a room, I wasn't conventionally attractive so I wasn't valuable. So I'd have to be valuable by being funny or be valuable by being nice or valuable by. And it's made my personality and I don't know whether I'd be doing comedy or not if I didn't grow up like that.

You know, I've loads of friends and I don't know how to get out of the people pleasing mode of myself. But like also it is. I don't know, I feel you. Yeah. But we wouldn't be what we're doing. We wouldn't be doing what we're doing. 100%. And it's good that we're recognising it now.

Yes. And I think once you recognise it, then you can kind of see the patterns and go, oh, we've talked about heaps, like on dates and stuff, I'll pay. Because we were like, should a man pay, should you split? And I pay because I feel like it's a way of being valuable.

Like you say it's valuable. So it's like, oh, you feel like you have nothing to offer. Yeah. So you're like, so I'll be just either like, I'll either pay. or be trying to facilitate you doing something or I'll give you my shoot. Like what can I do to be valuable to you?

And I think a lot of that comes from body image and I think a lot of that comes from these fucking magazines. Yeah. I really do. I really feel like that's... Did I mention this before? I remember like feeling I was too fat

to volunteer to work in a charity shop. Yeah. Because they sold clothes. And I was like, they're not going to want me. And I was like, 20 and I was definitely smaller than I am now. And I was like, oh, I'd just put people off buying clothes. Yeah.

And it's like, I couldn't, I didn't have the self-esteem to volunteer. Isn't that mental? Isn't it? And like now looking back, I'm like, okay, well, that's really wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, like, at the time it fit. And you do think like, well, I can't do that. I can't do anything to do with how I look.

So it has to be finding value in other ways. But it's also like you need to find yourself friends as well that won't be pissed off if you become the main character. Do you know, like people that, like, are in your life that, like, are really happy and thankful that you're there. But it's also because you're adding a lot of value.

You know what I mean? Yes. And that goes to relationships and with everything. Yeah. And I think that's, like, that sounds like I'm cutting everyone on. I'm not. I'm not. But, like, yeah, I do feel like I don't have to go,

I don't have to be thankful to be in the room anymore. Yes. And I think that's just with age. isn't it? And you just look back and shit. And you grow off and you're like,

you're like, you're not that great. Yeah. You know what I mean? Turn the tables on there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much, Alison. It's been so nice to speak to you. And we're very excited for your podcast. Where can people listen to it? So magazine party.

It's out every Thursday. It's myself and Poppy Hillsstead. It's where we read, read magazines and get people to send in their shocking real life stories that they'd put in a magazine. Amazing. It's good fun. Amazing.

And people should watch you do stand up. Yeah. Where can they find your dates? So, yeah, go to Alison Spittle at Instagram. I'm also going to be doing a tour and the show is called Big. Yeah, check her out. Thank you so much for coming, Alison. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Alison. Bye. You got to get in there and sniff them. We love Alison. We do love Alison. So wise, so authentic, so honest. Funny. Funny.

She's a beautiful, and she gives a great and efficient hand job. It's always good to know, isn't it? Yeah. It's always just good to know. Mine. Not efficient. If you're in it for the long road, you constantly get up. And mine, as I think we've discussed before, I get tired very easily.

It's very much a two-handed. It's one hand, holding the other hand. It looks like I'm ringing a heavy bell. I get distracted. I see it as... It can be part of something, but it's not the whole thing. Can't be that whole thing. It mustn't. We're adult women, come on.

Come on. We've got better things to do. Anyway. Anyway, you must check out Alison's new podcast. Yes. Magazine party. Magazine party. With Poppy Hillstead. Yeah, we love Poppy too. We love Poppy too. We love Poppy too. We love Poppy too. Talking about magazines. What more could you want?

What more could you want? Well, tell you what you might want. You might want to see Alison Smith live. She's a very funny comedian. She's very funny. So good. And you show big. One of the best posters of a little. ever seen. Yes, really good. And I've been hearing very good things about the show.

Oh, I have no doubt. It's going to be exquisite. And you can get tickets from her website. And also, I think in honour of Alison and her new podcast, over on Patreon, we're going to do a quiz from the Y2K magazines. The toxic, toxic ones, the one that we found is, do you have boys on the brain? Oh, I mean, I think we know.

where this is going to go. But it's going to be good to get a definitive answer. Yeah. If we are a guyaholic, guy friendly or guyophobic. Or guy forks. Or guy forks. Or guy Pierce. Guy Montgomery.

Guy Montgomery. Yeah. So we're going to find that out. So come join us on Patreon. It's a very fun space. And look, we had some new joiners after we couldn't publish what Amy said. on the public platform from the live show. So look, come on over. You can get all the secrets over on Patreon.

It's the place to be. And we really appreciate you supporting their podcast. We've got a great community of you great, you great little cuties. You cutie pies. And the Patreon has become a great place where people are chatting. This is exactly what we wanted.

It's like created a community of single. And so I'm not single people. Just talking and sharing. It is kicking off over there. Feeling less a lot. Everyone is feeling less alone and it's so good like people are posting questions and everyone's replying and there's screenshots of dating things.

It is wonderful. Get involved. Come on. Thank you so much and we'll see you everyone on Patreon. And if not, we'll see you next week. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont.

And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding. That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah. This changes people's lives. If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up? An in-depth look at sumo wrestling and the scandals.

Because it used to be considered so honorable, like sumos, and they all live together, sumos. No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just messaged loads of Derricks? I don't think people know that. I emailed 100 Derricks. I don't think it was Derricks. I thought it was Brian. Sorry, Brian.

Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook. Our podcast is out every Friday. It's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains. One of the hottest podcasts, people are going crazy for this podcast. Yeah, please give it a listen. We're loaded up on buzz balls.

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