Single Ladies In Your Area - Chasing aloofness, splitting the bill and true bromance with Paddy Young

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

This week on the podcast we have once again let a single man(!) in the studio, it’s SNL UK superstar Paddy Young! He asks questions like: Why is aloofness the most irresistible trait in a woman? Is not paying the bill a legitimate turn off? And is there anything more romantic than caressing your best friend’s c*m gutters?Watch the full VIDEO episode over on our Patreon at patreon.com/SingleLadiesInYourArea.Catch Paddy star in Saturday Night Live UK every Saturday at 10pm BST on Now TV and Sky. And Paddy is taking a brand new show to the Edinburgh Fringe Will Sir Be Laughing Alone?. For tickets head to edfringe.com.And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show 'Floozy' from October 2026. For tickets and dates head over harrietkemsley.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodProduced, recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill And I'm Harriet Kemsley We're both single and in our 30s And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene And the landscape has changed Everyone has settled down But we're back out there We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing

So we're going to speak to experts Chat about dates we've been on If we managed to get any And share your tips and horror stories So we all feel less alone We might even get our exes on Yeah, we'll see about that This is

Single Ladies in your area Welcome to the bod Welcome to the pod Oh you were sort of cradling the microphone there I'm trying to be cozy I just feel like I wanted to be cozy today Oh you love a little blanket today

Yes Yeah nice We should do like Our Patreon should be called like Under the Blanket Yeah that's nice We just snuggle under a blanket And then we get our guest under the blanket

Just make them so uncomfortable Yeah that's nice Or in bed with. Yes. And we have a duvet, like a big duve in bed with Harriet and Amy. Yeah. Well, that's what I did from that Edinburgh show that I did. Yeah, you love being in bed.

Yeah, you love being in bed. Get everyone in. Let's do it. We should do it from bed. It was wonderful. Was it? Yeah, it was just, you just are in bed and everyone comes to you. It's nice. Were you under the covers?

Yeah. This is insane. It did get very hot. I will say it did. It got very hot by the end. I was quite sweaty under there. And it's absurd and it was absurd. But I'm into it.

So maybe that's what we do. Yeah, I think we should do that. Yeah. But how are you? Good. I'm good. I had a cabinet delivered this morning. Here we go.

Pretty wild. It's pretty wild. But this cabinet's been a really long journey. The cabinet was like a big like investment. I was like I'm going to get like a grown up cabinet. Like all my furniture before I've just got like a flat pack where I bought it like a second hand place. This was like an investment cabinet.

It took three weeks to arrive when it did arrive. It was completely broken. And so it got sent back again. Oh, God. And so then it came and there was a lot of when we was going to arrive. And then it eventually arrived. Three men arrived with it. And they said it weighed 200 kilograms.

I don't know how much that is. Neither did I. That's like three people. Oh. That's three people. Okay. Why would a cabinet weigh that much? It doesn't make any sense.

Yeah. And so they brought it in. And then I just had this safety hazard in the house, basically. And so then I had to get a deliver route, not deliveroo. not a delivery person, a task rabbit person. I love Task Rabbit. It's so good. One guy wouldn't do it. And then this other guy...

You wouldn't do it. Yeah, I think he was just like... If it was 200 kilograms, because they didn't put the legs on it. So I was like, they just left me with the legs. And I was like, guys, could you help me with the legs? And they were like, we can't, we can't help you with the legs. No.

And then I was like, how are the fuck you going to get the legs on this thing? Anyway, guy came, put the legs on. Pretty happy about it. One guy on his own? Yeah, he was so strong. Oh, my God. That's hot. God, that's so hot.

I kept just saying, you're so strong. And he'd go, he, he. He was sweating so much. And then Mabel was just eating her, see him. He was just staring at him as he was trying to lift this cabinet and the dog, Mabel was just staring at him, like, he was some kind of, like, show for them. And you were still like, and he was so strong. Oh, my God.

Do you mind if I play with your hair while you do this? Oh, wow. Yeah, so big day, got a cabinet. Where's the cabinet going? It's going downstairs. He's attached it to the wall so it's safe. Right. Builders have left.

I don't know how much I've done about this. I had builders in. It was just so, it was all so dumb. Basically, everything went wrong that could have possibly gone wrong. They took Halloween weekend off because they got overwhelmed and excited about Halloween. It's just been a real journey. Everything is done and I just feel calm. Nothing is covered in dust anymore.

It just feels good. How are you? I feel calm just listening to the idea that your builders have gone. It's so good not having people. I just didn't realise how, like, stressed I was. I was just on edge all the time. Of course. But it feels so lucky to have done it.

I'm so pleased. But yeah, it was... Great. It was rough. And we definitely should have moved out. But anyway, you live in your life. But it's done. Yeah.

It's done. You've lived through it. Yeah. Yeah. Great. I'm good. I've got not loads of report other than... So a boy that I...

Ooh. A boy that I occasionally kiss. Oh. Yeah, but he's being flaky. And I am the queen of flake. Stick of flaking me, I'm done. Do you know what I mean? I'm so...

I'm Mrs. Whippy. But now it's happening to me. I'm like, how dare he'll message me. Be like, hey, should we do something this weekend? And I'll be like, yeah, I think I'm free Sunday. And they'll not hear from him. And then it'll get to Sunday. And I'll be like, oh, I guess we're not doing anything today then.

And he'll be like, oh, yeah, sorry, forgot. Like next week and I'm like, no, no, no, no. How dare you? How dare you? I don't want to give you any emotional connection in any way. I don't want even really to make conversation with you that much. But how dare you not put me at the top of your list? Yes.

Yes. I should be prioritised even though he's not my priority. It's so crazy how our brains work. Yeah, it's bonkers. But like it is crazy because I would feel exactly the same. I would just like I always want them to be thinking of me all the time. Yeah. And sometimes they're.

I don't understand this though. Yeah, I don't understand either. You've given him everything. I've given him exactly nothing. Yeah. But I expect everything in return. Yeah. And I don't understand why I'm wrong for this.

But it's like, I don't know whether maybe he feels slightly put out that I never sort of want to do like a deityy thing. Does he suggest dates? No, not really. No, but I've always been the one that's suggested not doing dates. And he's kind of gone, oh yeah, okay, okay. I think I've pulled back and I think he's just matching that. Yeah. But that's pissed me off.

Yeah. Which is so... Is it that you actually want dates with him? Or is it that you just, now he's pulled away and you're like, that's not the rules, Sunny? Oh, it might be that. I do like it when people pull away. So you just sit your nose and I. It's my nose.

Yeah, we just do that at the same time. Oh my God. Oh, my God. We're so in sync. Yeah, I think it's probably that he's pulled away and I'm like, Oh, because that's exactly what I've always, that's my pattern. It's the anxious attachment. It's the anxious attachment.

But you have not said in any way anything about him that is your match. Oh, he's not a match. Yeah. So I think having a conversation is pointless. Unless it's to be like, let's set up a schedule. Yeah. Yeah. Every second Tuesday you come over or something.

Yeah. Oh, oh, so I gave someone a rose. Yes. And this is a little while ago. I gave someone a rose because of your advice. And he's kind of great. Well, I mean, from what I can see on his profile, we had a little chat.

He responded to the rose. It takes a little while sometimes for them to respond to the rose. But if you put a rose out there. He responded to the rose. I'm not saying pay for them because sometimes they make you pay for them. But you can just get a free one, I think, every twice a week or something. Something like that. Yeah, so it means quite a lot to give someone your rose.

Yeah. It sounds like your virginity. It actually doesn't know, to be fair, because there's one in a hundred men that you actually would ever want to go on a date with. That's so true. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

It just speeds it up. So don't men, don't get, don't go getting any idea, any funny ideas out there. You're the best of a very bad bunch. Very bad bunch. You got the rose because you're the best of a terrible crop. We had a little fun chat and it was nice and then just sort of I didn't go on the apps for a while. Then I went back on recently and I had a little look. And he sort of like messaged me his phone number being like, oh, we, I guess you're not on here very often or anything.

Oh, Amy. If you want my phone number, that's 35. If you don't, that's that. And I haven't messaged him yet, but I'm going to. Let's do it today. We've got to message him. That's so cute. Yeah, I think he's really cute.

This is the thing with it though. Like you have to check it regularly. You have to be like checking it. You have to be doing it. Otherwise, you know. The problem is with me is because of ADHD or something like that. or maybe it's just my personality. I'll be like, oh, I'm really into this right now for half an hour.

So I want to go on a date right there and then. But that's not what happens. You have to do, like, admin for a bit. And then you have to check in and then you have to arrange a date maybe in two weeks. And by then I'm like so bored. I'm over it. I'm a very instantaneous person. It has to be like, I want to do this now and it has to be now.

And tomorrow I won't care about it. Which is why I keep not getting a dog. Oh, after that you mustn't. Oh, God. I get so, I'm getting closer and closer all the time. Oh God. And then maybe I'll never want a boy and then it's all fine. I just, I have so much love to give.

Yeah. And I can't just give it to my friends. It's overwhelming for them. But I think you just need to be more organised with your love. I need to be organised with my love. Yeah. Like you prioritise your job. Like you have to prioritize this.

If you want, like you just have to put the time in. Yeah. Maybe put a reminder or like it's like how. bit stacking, maybe when you brush your teeth. Oh my God. Hey, that's great. Okay. Okay.

Toothpasty. Or you could do like what Sophie does, which is like, just be like, hey, I'm free in town right now. Are you free? Yeah, I think that's great. I think that's, I mean, it's unhinged. It works. It works. It works.

Okay. Okay, well, maybe this is something that we can talk to our guest about because I feel, I don't know this about him, but he's got the very, vibe of someone who's good on apps. Yeah, but I've seen him try and construct a text to a girl, and it was a long road. Okay. So we'll see. So we've got, we've got a boy on the pod. We've let another one in.

We've let another boy in. If you want to complain, you can complain. Yeah, we get it. If this isn't what you want, that's fine. Yeah. But we've, it's kind of just, we're easing some in. Yeah, we want to know what's going on in their little heads. Sorry about saying little.

In their normal heads the same as women. Why did you say sorry for saying little? Because I thought it was patronising to men. I don't think you can patronise men, can you? I don't know if they're actually... Is that possible? I don't know. Yeah, I think we do it pretty well.

I think we're pretty good at it. So we've got Paddy Young. We got Paddy in. We've got Paddy in. Paddy's going to sort us all out. Not in that way. Wow, wow, wow. I don't think he's going to sort anything out.

To be clear, I think he's going to leave us more confused. We have such different views of Paddy. You've clearly seen him in a different light. I've seen him be pretty... Actually, no, he wasn't smooth. Okay, yeah, okay. I think he's going to fuck this up for everyone. Introducing Mr. Paddy Young.

It's a match. Well, hello, Paddy. are joined by a boy, Harriet. Yeah, we've got one in. This one seems very nervous. Yeah, our first nervous gas. Yes. No one's been nervous yet.

No one's nervous. Everyone's usually so relaxed and says it feels like a really nice welcoming atmosphere. Yeah, but you've come in. I'm scared. You're scared. Do you so scared of? I don't know. I think I love you girls so much.

What are you laughing? The look in your eye undermined that so much. filmed as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what it is? I feel like I'm in year nine and the cool year 11 girls

have said you can sit with us on the bus and I'm like, this feels like a trap. This feels like a trap. Oh, they must think I'm really mature and cool and then it's like, yeah. We're going to take your dinner money. Yeah.

Yeah. Hurry up naked and time to a lamp on. Oh, right, Harry. Fuck you now. Maybe we'll be all right. So, yeah, so you just feel nervous. I'm nervous. I've got a gift.

You got us a gift. Oh, it was. There's a gift. One bunch between us. We've never had flowers before. That's so sweet. There's, what, three each? Three.

That's so nice. Yeah, there's like, oh, that's so nice. Because he was suspicious. I was suspicious immediately. From the second you gave me a hug with one arm, I was like. Paddy Young Classic. I was like, the fuck is this boy up to? Side hug, yeah.

That's so nice to bring flowers. Yeah, that's true. That is actually really nice. No one's ever brought flowers before. No, that's actually really classy. And you ripped off the price. Yeah, can you see what it was? Yeah.

Because obviously, we're in a nice part of London where this is recording. I thought, that's a nice flower shop. And then I saw the price I went well. Yeah. No, that's not. Hop into Tesco Express. Yeah. So when, yeah, I thought if there's anything I need to get off my chest,

it may as well be some lovely flowers. So you go. Flowers. Yeah. Do you know what? That's really good. Yeah. Do you trust me now?

Because I've gone into this and I've had a look of suspicion from you, this whole time. You've got total control of this. You can do whatever you want with this. Why are you worried? Well, when a man comes in with something concealed on him in a small studio, it could be anything.

No offence to you and you're kind. But men are scary sometimes, Paddy. Totally. So you can be nervous. And there's chloroform on those flowers. Well, yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's a classic Paddy young move.

Don't sniff anything he gives you. I love you, I love you, set. Can I should give you some nose? It's gel pens. Smelly gel pens, but it's chlorophy. Oh, yeah. Classic truth. Don't give people ideas.

So we've been chatting about you before you got in. So we've done the introduction already. Right. And we realise that we both have kind of different opinions of what you're like. Yeah. So you look like you're waiting like a terrible sentence. Yeah. Is it fair to say that our past is checkered?

Because that's what I was worried about. Oh, me and Glendell have got history. I don't know if she's explained it to you. We don't have bad history. Tossed and turned. Toss, okay, listen. Not recently, but that, when it happened, the event. And I'm happy to talk about it because I just,

it's like an underlieb. I've been tossing and turning about it, Harry. Do you know what happened? No, so I haven't actually, so. So then again, I've already fucked up because you weren't even going to bring it up. You see, this is what I mean. I mean, the belly of the bee. They go, don't worry, you can cut out what you want.

We'll make the line off. No, we're being so nice. You've just, I don't know. You've brought this up, Paddy. I hadn't mentioned this. But do you think that's why, first of all, do you think that's why you guys have got different? I think that's part of it?

So what were your different thoughts on me? But we will circle back, Paddy. Don't think you're getting out of this. So basically, Harriet doesn't think you're very smooth. Sorry to out you, Harriet. That's fine. No, I just, because Amy thought that you'd be very good at speaking to women. And then I just remember when we're in Australia

and you were trying to send a message. to that girl and it took two hours. And you just didn't know what to say. And then you were panicking about everything and then you were saying, what about this? And so I was saying, well, I think that maybe... And we can edit anything out of this, go. Fuck me.

It's like usual suspects. I thought you were the thing all along. Thought Amy was going to gruel. You didn't do that upset your thing to me. Turns out, oh, just completely fuck me over, straight off. Don't why, it's all really nice. Remember when you... No, but I think that's sweet

because I think that's what you wouldn't expect. I think that's what's so nice because you seem quite like charming and quite like smooth, like, on stage and also like quite often in person, but you were really like, panicked about it and you wouldn't expect that. And so I think for women to hear that it's quite nice.

It's actually a nice thing. And then what was your take? I thought you were. I thought you were, even though I had also seen you in Australia struggle. I was like, I was like, I can't wait to have Padion. He's going to tell us what it's like being a guy. I reckon he's good on the apps. I reckon he's like a good at dating.

I think this is going to be great. And Harry was like, no. Interesting. Yeah. What do you think? I think you're both right. I think my problem for me is, and it was when I was in Australia with you, is like when I care, I just can't, I can't, when I like really fancy someone or I really

care, I just am so aware of myself and I'm so foolish and I second guess everything. Whereas when I don't mind too much, I can really just go with it. See, I'm exactly the same, but I don't know why I just wouldn't think of a boy would be like that. But I'm exactly the same if I like someone, I don't know what to do. Yeah, I don't have to behave. Yeah, we do forget that boys. Her feelings. Some of us do.

Yes. And you're saying you're one of them. You have feelings. Funny, the first time this podcast doesn't pass the Bechdel test, it's the most informative. Should make you chicks want to think about that. Chicks, love it. That's the episode's in our way. Turns out men are people.

We've come a long way in podcasting. Maybe they do. Maybe they always have in a way. Yeah, so that's my thing for sure. If you care. Yeah, and then I'll just do the most foolish things. But what do you mean? What will you do? Well, first of all, it's that sort of thing of like second-guessing everything you're saying and doing.

And I think my problem in just about every aspect of life is if I'm not sure about something, I will go and seek advice and I will just take the last person's opinion as gospel. Yeah. Some people, they don't find those people. I don't know. I don't imagine either of you lot of this. Do you just know what you want and what you want and what you want to do and just take everything, take everything people say with a pinch of soul. No, I believe.

No. I believe everything. I believe everything people say and I think they know better than me. And I do sometimes wonder. I'm like three people. Who are the three people? I don't know.

Like my dog and my ex-husband. Right. And you're single, are you? Dog went. I think it was a no. So who do you go to for advice? Other boy pals? It depends.

I've got three sisters. And I do wonder like if that's been a net positive. It's almost like, I think I've been aware of things. I don't think having three sisters makes you better. I think it just makes you more aware of the ways in which you're doing it wrong.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a wolf that grew up in a butcher's. I'm still hungry. Not that I wanted to... Oh, girls. That was the worst analogy I know. Girls, I hate this.

I hate this. That was so horrible. Can we talk about my process? This is shit. What have you girls done? You killed me already. Put me in the middle. Nance between two roses.

But do you think it made you more comfortable with women growing up with women? Or it made you more afraid of women? We're all very close. And we all live in London. And we're all, yeah, we all hang out a lot. But I just think, I look back, I still think, you know, they'd have friends over, especially my older sister. Like the mystery of older sisters' friends.

Yes. Oh, my God. And just hearing them in the bedroom and the way the lighting looked when they were in there. Oh, my God. Why are you looking like that? Just like when girls would hang out, I was just thinking, I was desperate to be in there. My sister's, my sister would always kick me out if I tried to get in there. Some of her friends would like me and say, oh, let him stay.

And I just want, you know, they'd be reading magazines. The magazines would be like so crazy. If you're like, because my older sister's two years older than me. So you've got to imagine if I'm like 12. Yeah. And they're like 14. Yeah. And the magazines that girls read at 14.

Like more magazine or something. But they've got things in there. Really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you're 18. So I'm exposed to this stuff for me.

I'm just this. It would have been, What better for me to be on Porn Hub, I think. Yeah. I just found things out too early on. You've got to get in there and sniff them. Did you have a girlfriend when you were young? Guess.

I think you did. No. Correct. But it's so funny because I feel like you've found, like you seem so confident. Well, I think for me I'm lucky because I hit puberty really late. And I think, but if you look at photos of me and my friends, it was like, it looks like someone's brought this poor little boy in massive backpack everywhere. Imagine a bunch of

teenagers that look like just normal teenagers and then a little boy. Sometimes these photos come up and it breaks but I think you poor little man. And your name's young as well. And they use that. Yeah, I bet they did. It's like you've been called Amy Shrew.

Ow! Oh! So you didn't thrive early on? No. No, I don't think so. No, I know so. I don't think so.

When was your first girlfriend? I had a girlfriend when I was, I got someone to ask a girl out for me when I was 11 or 12 and then I was too scared to talk to her. So for months we went out, but we never spoke once. And then I got dumped by proxy and I couldn't believe it. It blew my mind. I was like, what?

It was going to so well. And I remember, I got told that I'd been dumped and we're out in the school fields. And I was like, I was like, I'm going to cry. But I was like, I can't be seen to cry. And it's funny to be, this news to be revealed to you while everyone stood up in the most exposing place. So I said, oh, let's play this game where we see how long we can stare at the sun.

That's so beautiful. Yeah, I was like, I said then I was like, looking at the sun and then my eyes were watching. I was like, oh, it hurts. And they saw through it. But no one said, no one called me out. Howdy, that's beautiful. It's not sad.

That's so sweet. That explains a lot. Yeah. I think it does. You think? Yeah, I think so. But then I think, yeah, it's funny because when you don't care that much,

much. And I don't care. I don't mean like, I don't mean that in like a really brutal way. I just mean like when you're just sort of can go with a flay and you can take, you know, just you feel how you feel. I never play aloof and I never play it cool. I can only just feel how I feel. And the thing that you do learn, which I think is true is aloofness or someone actually not caring is like the most powerful thing. And I'm such a sucker for it. And I've noticed myself when I'm dating people. If I'm really not sure, I suddenly notice them, you know, whereas when I care too much, you know, whereas when I care too much, it's like, it's too much. Yeah.

What do you think that's like an attachment style maybe? Like if they're like a bit avoidant, then you like them more. Whereas if they're into... Oh, yeah. What do you girls think about loofness? Oh, this is my entire thing. It's my entire problem. So I'm on, I'm sort of on the fence with someone.

And then he started pulling away and then suddenly I'm like, um, excuse me. Yeah. Whereas if he was keen, I'd put off. Yeah. I won't want anything to do with him. Is this a recent thing? Yeah. happening right now. Do you talk about your things happening right now? Yeah,

mostly. Yeah. Mostly. Yeah. It must be crazy to be a guy dating you guys and then you're like found out they've got a podcast about dating. That's actually what's really interesting is that some guys get really like defensive about it and worried about it but the good ones don't care. They're just like I'm not going to do anything that's going to be like. But it's like if Lily Allen brought an album out every week. Yeah. Yeah, but that would only be a problem if you were David Harbour. So the people that are worried about it. You guys not Team Harbor? Notting Harbour. Okay, I'm on the wrong podcast.

And he does up his shirt. Don't hide his t-shirt. Rose's left side figure in that side. Free Harbour. Free Harbour. He's my Paul Harbour. Yeah, so like the good guys just aren't worried about it because they're like, oh yeah, I'm not going to do anything that's going to, you know.

Yeah. But you'd be worried about it. He's worried just coming on. He's worried that we're going to out if you've got to hide. I want to know what you've got to hide. Yeah. I don't think I do have a lot to hide. I just, like I said to you before,

even going on a podcast where you're talking about being a comedian. Yeah. And you're like, you've got to talk about your... It's hard being earnest and sincere. Yeah, it feels icky. Yeah, I get it.

But then I love you girls so much. Why do you keep laughing at that? Don't get along really well? You're saying it with an old twinkle in your eye though. Yeah. We both spent time in Australia together this year. And it was really nice. Yeah, it was really nice.

For the most part. Yeah, okay, so what happened? It's like this thing hanging over. This is what I've been scared of. It's like in Gavin and Stacey, you know, something happens between. between Brin, Uncle Brin and that is like that.

Like, what happened on the camping trip? Well, so I did a gig, which I've told you about. Yes. I don't know if we mentioned it necessarily on the podcast, but I did a gig in Australia, big gig, lots and lots of people, scary gig. While I'm on stage, sadly, a member of the audience passes away. Harrowing thing.

Harrowing thing for everyone in the audience, harrowing thing for everyone backstage, just harrowing. and I get off stage, sort of everyone's sort of a bit in shock. I look at my phone. Paddy's there. Look at my phone. Message from Paddy Young. Oh, this is nice.

A friend is reaching out. Thank God. I can't remember the exact wording of the message. I do. All in capitals. All in capitals. You killed. You killed.

Which in comedy is normally like a positive thing. You're like, oh, you killed. Like you smash that gig. And I look at my phone. It just says, you killed all capitals. And I sort of like put my phone down a bit. I'm looking, people are crying.

And then I sort of ignore my phone for a bit. And then when I look at my phone again... Let's pause it. So that's the Navy's perspective so far. Right? So already that's like, that's like, that's bad, but it's also bad like, you know what? Just two mates.

Funny. If it just ended there, I could live with this story. Because I think there'd have been ways to get around it. That would be much simpler. Yeah. If you want to get to the heart of Paddy Young, This is what Paddy Young does, right? He'll do something that's a bit like, a bit much,

but is actually pretty funny or pretty out there. And then I will suddenly get a pang and then do something incredibly cowardly. So I sent the text. Yep. And then someone was chatting to me and they said, Did you know he'd died? No, to be fair.

Okay. To be fair. You didn't know. Do you know, I'm so bad, you hear? I didn't know that. Okay, then that puts it. perspective because if you didn't know, then it's different. Like, it's still, it's still a really unfortunate thing that you did to Amy, but you didn't do it on purpose. Then it's, it's like,

completely different. We're going to need a bigger rose. Because you just thought, you thought he was sick, but you didn't think. I didn't know. All we knew is there was a commotion. So I didn't know someone had died. You knew someone was ill, maybe. I think we just knew there was a commotion. And then I think people were like, oh, maybe someone has, but it wasn't confirmed at that point. So that's very, before the next bit. Yeah. That is, yeah. But I then, someone was like, someone said to me poor Amy. And I went, do you think I should have sent that? And they just went, no, of course not.

And then I was like, really? And they said, yeah. And then I suddenly, do something, which I really do, I put myself in a woman's shoes. And I thought, actually, she's had an incredibly high pressure gig being filmed. She's traveled across the world for it. Yes. And then she's been interested.

You experienced empathy. I did for the first time. In that moment, the first time in your life. And it was, I say, all girls, I don't want to go there again. So what I should have done, what I should have done, I'm so sorry that I didn't know. Is to send another text. Are you okay?

You okay? You okay? Yes. I did. And to be fair, and again, to be fair to myself, I also thought, because you were too busy, I imagine you wouldn't have looked at your phone. I thought, do know what? I'll admit it's cowardly.

But I also didn't, genuinely was like, I don't want to upset you because I suddenly thought, that thing you do where you're like, think you're doing something, and then you're like, oh, that thing I just did actually, what's doing? And then I thought, what did she? I mean, me, I get on pretty well, but how close am I to her? That was the other thing. overly familial thing where you're like, actually, she doesn't know enough about me for to do that, actually. I say the wrong thing a lot. I do, I do get this. You know, you do a thing and you think this is

one of those things and it happens a lot in comedy where people do a thing that's a bit much and it becomes a thing that like bonds. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because we've been hanging out that week, me, you, Jin Halley. And it was like, we're having such a nice time. Do you know what? This will be one of those. We've bonded. We've bonded for life. I immediately saw it as I always do have these things that happen to me, probably every or I can say, I think every six weeks I do something like this. And then just when I stop thinking about it, one comes in out of the blow. It's amazing. Instead of messaging Amy saying, whatever, I edit the text. No. And I just edit, delete the whole thing saying you killed. And I said, are you okay with, I think, three question marks.

And then I just edit that. And I thought, you know what? That's good. I'm not going to add to the thing. And then a few minutes pass. And then I looked to my right and Amy's appeared. and she's surrounded by like six or seven people all comforting her. Fair to say in tears. Yeah. And I think, so I think two things. First thing I think is, oh my God, poor Amy. And the second thing is she wouldn't have looked at her phone.

I think she wanted to look at her phone. I see her in tears. I think, she's been busy. I've already done the text. So I'm sort of like, ah. And the still, you know, the thing is backstage, the drinks are still free. The food is still flowing. I'm sorry to say that from family.

That's crazy. But people are still eating. So, you know, I was like... We were having like very different experiences in the... the same venue. Yeah. And then Amy looks at me in between the tears and she just goes, you dick.

And I was like, fuck, I got caught and then did the cowardly thing, which is like the worst thing to do. And then I just think it, oh God, it's terrible. And then I think, I just felt like, yeah, at some point,

but I want to say months down the line, you sent, you just sent me a screenshot just saying edited. And then, you know, you look at a text chat history and you're like, Actually, that text history isn't that long.

Yeah. It isn't long enough to justify that. Yeah. I'm so sorry, Amy, you thought he was good with women. What was it the minute do you think? Oh, God. And that's been hanging over me, this. And then you weren't even going to bring it up.

I wouldn't even bring it up. I wouldn't bring it up. Obviously, we wouldn't bring that up. You see why I can't do these things? So what's your take? How do you feel about all that now? Be honest. Oh, fine.

I felt fine about it. I, by even that night, It was more, it wasn't like, you dick It was like, you divvy Do you know what I mean? It was a bit like, oh, bloody hell, Paddy. And those eyes are piercing when she's not annoyed with you.

Glitting in at me like wet diamonds. Fully red cheeks. They were staying out all my ancestors before me. Every man that never lived in the young dynasty was like that. Let my people go. Yeah. I think it's definitely,

I wouldn't have brought that up to. So I think it's weighing on you more than it. Yeah. Do you feel better now? No. All that thing you worried about that she'd sort of forgotten about when that was in brother just now, public knowledge. I feel good about that.

Oh then these are microphones, are there? And I reckon they might be cameras. I feel brilliant about it. I don't even think about that shit anymore. Been up to much this weekend. But Paddy, you're deflecting. We want to know about you. We want to know how are you dating now?

You're single now. I'm single now. You're single. Yeah. When was your last relationship? I'd say the last proper relationship would have been... New 11. Yeah.

Well, I was looking at the sun. Well, no friend has approached me yet. I think we're still going. Don't do me in winter. I'll have nowhere to look. I want to say like three... Nearly four years ago. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How long was that relationship? That was five. five years, well, nearly six years. Okay, it's chunky. That was a distance the whole time. The whole time. And what was the distance?

Initially, I was in Manchester. She was in Bristol. And then I was in London. She was in Bristol. And then during COVID, we spent a lot of time living together. And then we then did that thing of like moving back to our respective cities

and neither of us wanted to move to the other. That was like a big part of it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then, yeah, pretty much been single, I get. Sort of. Like, yeah.

I mean, I think when we spoke that, Oh, yeah, I've had some bad, bad, bad times. Bad times. Yeah. And good times. And good times. Here's the thing you've got to remember about me is I will make things so, people forget, this is the thing is, I'll make things morose so quickly.

It's actually not morose. I'm actually all right. I don't even think about that shit anymore. Well, why do you think, why do you think you've been single for five years? Are you looking for a relationship or you're enjoying being single? Single for three to four years. Three to four years, yeah. I definitely went initially, I definitely was not.

not. And then now I am, I'm trying to just like not put a huge amount of pressure on myself, which I do in most aspects. But I think it's, do you ever feel like now and again you meet people and you're just like, I can't help just be like, this might be it. And then it's so not. And I just think it takes me way too lot. Those, those times when I think it might be it, no matter how short it is. Well, like you meet somebody, how quickly do you think this might be it? I don't know. It can have a rather quick. But then, do you know what sometimes feel, I think what I often think about is like, it's when you're not in control, right?

Sometimes you might date someone for however long and you think, do you know, in the back, you've not even thought it consciously, but subconsciously you think, do you know what? We've probably got maybe three or four dates left in us and maybe that's it. And then they suddenly vanish. And then you're, you think about them for the rest of your life. You know what? But is that what you're thinking?

This has run its course. And then they vanish. And you're like, huh. Yeah, think about you on my deathbed probably. Wow. Do you know what I mean by that? I do, I do. And that's the thing, I can't, I think I can't ever, yeah, when it's out of my hands,

no matter how it's going, I just, I'm, yeah, I'm not over that. I find that concept mad though that you think there could be three or four dates left. Like, there's, like, it's like about to. But no, no, what I mean is I'm not conscious. It's like, after they vanish, I say to myself, like, logically, do you know what? This wasn't going to be, this isn't going to be the ones. It wasn't going to go anywhere, yeah. But then I can't help but emotionally be.

like, that could have been. And it's back to that aloofness thing. And when someone, you know, wanting someone that's not, that unobtainable factor. And I think it's about being a storyteller as well. Like, I fall in love with the stories that I believe could have happened. Yeah. And before you really know them, it's like it's an imagined person that fits into total.

100% creation of thing. Yeah. Are you romantic? I think so. Did you see the £3 flowers? I did. You didn't have to say the prize, sorry. It could be 300.

We don't know for sure. I thought about taking one out every time you guys sending me to me. But yeah. Oh, we're not going to be to you. Again, it's the belly of the beast. You're doing it to yourself. You've got fluff in your hair.

I think part of the reason... I think it's like a bit of gel or something. Enough. They got me on all angles. It's a wig. I use this podcast to say, yep, I know people always say a good hairline for my age.

I'm actually fucking bald as well. Okay, girls, I'm bald. Peterfalfe. Apparently fancied my sisters. What else do we want? I think part of the reason I'm scared about this, other than checkered past. It's because I honestly oscillate all the time. I think I sometimes feel like there's days when I just think,

I'm so proud that I'm really doing what I'm doing. And that like when I was in a relationship and a distance relationship, you know, I was going to Bristol, like pretty much every weekend, or my ex was coming here. And I was really, when I moved to London, I really wasn't all in on trying to do this. And when I was single, I definitely found those first two years. years, I was living so selfishly in terms of everything, I would drop anything for a gig.

And I really know, and I was right. I just felt like it was the first time in my whole life, all I thought about was like, you know, trying to be good. And then I saw the benefits of it. And then there's other days where I'm like, I mean, I've been to a lot of weddings this last couple of years. Yeah. And I'm so like seeing my friends who have been in relationships for like 10 years and then meeting at university and going through that whole period together and then now getting married. It's like, it's so touching. It's so lovely.

But the funny thing about going to a wedding as a bachelor is that you have this whole day where you're loving listening to this story and you meet all the pet. It's just like a lovely day. But then especially if you're in London, you then just get on a bus on your own. Yeah.

And you're just a man in a suit. And then you're the most pissed as you get home. And then you just absolutely hammered in your sad little bedroom. In a suit. And you're like, I should kill myself, surely. And you think you should, you just think this is, this is terrible. So I feel like the weddings this year, I've loved them.

And I've, they're so lovely. But then I think it's funny to notice that the first time someone gets married, you're like, that's mad, isn't it? And then it quickly becomes not mad. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. You know, and then you're like, I don't know.

So there's, I think I just oscillate all the time because dating is obviously, especially in your 30s, it obviously is easier for men and women. And that's the one thing that, you know, my sisters always remind me of. And when I hear about feeling, female friends or girls when they talk about bad dates or being single, I'm aware of like the difference between men and women. And so there's times when I'm like, honestly, I'm like, pretty good place to be in. Yeah. You know, bloke, early 30s. I think I just, yeah, I think what makes it so hard sometimes is I deep down, I've got this like real optimism that I will find someone. But then you have

these shards where you're like, fuck, am I going to be? And then you meet people that are like amazing and they're like, perennel and it never worked out for them. Yeah. And they're amazing. And they're their 50s or sixies and you think, how? I know what I mean? 100%. Because I think there's always a thing of like, oh, it will work out. You will find someone, you find someone when you're not looking for them. You'll end up with someone and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then sometimes I'm just like, huh, like you wake up in the night and you're like, no, what if I don't? There's absolutely no reason to believe that this is going to work out. Totally. Fuck. But I'm getting more happy with the idea that maybe it won't work out, inverted commas. And I think there's more and more articles about how a lot of our generation

will die single. We're going to die single anyway because men die first. Hey Pad, I wouldn't worry about that, Pad, because I've actually read an article. I read an article, but specifically people like you. Yeah. And that it is true.

It was specifically about you. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it will be more common and I don't think it will be as tragic. And VR will be so good by then. Oh, VR. We're going to have robots.

It's going to be fine. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. I think it's interesting. I think it's so interesting. Guys, you're going to make me cry. I'll come back in 30 years. Tell us about your cyborg girlfriend. She's amazing.

I always like, oh, you know, like, I sometimes forget the men can be romantic or the men can want partners. Like, it's so weird and confusing. Amy, we've got to get out there. Do you talk to your male friends about girls and dating? Of course. You do? Yeah.

But then it's funny. Someone said this to me, and it's always stuck with me that a lot of men are very, they save their romance for their male friendships. And I see how, I see how romantic me and my boys are. Yeah.

And it is crazy, other than sex, we're hugging, we're kissing, we shag, no. But I'm, when I was in a, I'm from Scarborough, and I remember I once had an audition for something when I was like 19, and I was really, oh, actually, this was my,

that would have been my first girlfriend. When I was an adult, would have been 18, 18 or 19. and had an audition and I was scared. I was just like nervous, you know. I really wanted to have like a good night's sleep because it was a last minute audition. So I went to my best friend Sam's house. I left my girlfriend's house

because I knew when I sleep next to my friend Sam, I sleep well. Oh my God. You get into bed with Sam. I used to bed with Sam. Because I used to live in a village outside of Skym so I always used to stay at his house. Whenever I stay at his house

and we'd watch a film, I'd be out like a light. Then I found out years later, if you fall out like a light, that's when you feel safe. But at the time, I was like, I need a good night's sleep. And I'd look at the time, My girlfriend understood, but I thought that is pretty mental to be like, I need to leave your house

so I can go and sleep next to my mate. To feel safe. But that's what you read that you fall asleep next to be. Years later, and I said, oh, that's what that was, yeah. Oh, that's really sweet. And you know what? I shouldn't have felt safe because what he did to me once, we once wanted one night out together.

And he could out drink me, so I just said at some point that I'm going to go home. He gave me his keys. I woke up in his flat the next day. The room was empty other than my bed, and there was removal men. And I said, what are you doing this? said you're moving house. And for a second I forgot, I was like, Sam's, I said, am I?

And Sam had gone out with two pairs of keys, his new flat and his old flat, and he'd give me his old flat. Oh my God. So I called him and he was in his new flight. Isn't that crazy? You got carried out in the bed by his removal men and put it in the van. And you've got to think, you've got to think my current girlfriend, she's thinking, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? But do you, do you test that at all? Have you found that with men in your life, that they're very romantic with their boys? No. I... I hate, I think male friendships, it's like, I just feel like you guys can never relax.

Like, you're always trying to like prank each other. I don't know. Well, like, try and like, say mean things to each other. I think female friendship was so romantic and so, like, loving to each other and supportive. Whereas men, it feels like they're just trying to trip each other up a bit. Or like, always doing bits. Yeah. I do more bits to each other whereas I think women are just like, I love you.

You're so pretty. Do you think that's male friendships where they're in front of women, though? Oh, these are the secret friendships. Well, suddenly they're being seen so they're. They're like trying to... Yeah, maybe. So you have these secret friendships. Not secret.

No, no, me and my... There's a real tenderness to my... Really? Yeah, for sure. It's nice. I'm very lucky. Do you touch? God, yeah.

And they've all got different bits that I like. Ed and I, you both know, I love his hump. I always feel his hump. He's got this amazing. And like, Dan Tien and it's like the shape of his head. It's just, you just feel it. And then Horatio. He's got these like cum gutters.

You know what they are? Yes. Preaching to the choir. Forgot what I was for a second. Oh, why don't. I know this friend of yours. He's got these cumgots. I just can't feel.

And I live with him and his girlfriend. I touch him a lot. He'll be cooking. He'll be cooking and I'll go up behind him. Oh, my God. And I'll be like, what are you cooking? You did a little wiggle there. That's so nice.

Because when I saw you, you were moving out of living with your, like, one of your best friends. And so you found him that that's really nice. Yeah, there was like a, yeah. I think that's going to be me for the rest of my life is that my friend was going to kick me out because he got a girlfriend. Oh, God. And then he said, I'll just, he basically, waited until I found another friend to live with. So there was a nice change over.

So that's nice. Are you on the apps and things? I am, but it becomes so quickly just like another source of admin. This is what we always say. It's not fun. Do you remember the first time you got on those apps and how illegal and dangerous and like amazing it felt?

Why illegal? Just like... What app are you on? I know you show up with a knife. You think, should I be doing this? So they just suddenly become like part of your phone. It's just like another invisible thing that you wait. You think I'm not replying to.

Do you remember your first date off an app? Wow. Were you nervous? Oh my God, yeah, I was really nervous. Woo. It feels crazy, doesn't it? Yeah, because there's no connection in real life. And you're like, what do you?

Yeah. And it's like you get to the place first. And you're like, you feel like a sim. How many bars are you been in? And then you go to a bath for someone day and you're like, what do people do in bars? Yeah. How do you move your arms? And still, if I'm really excited to go on a day with someone, I still get it.

And I'm like, what the fuck do I do? Do I sit down and get us a spot? Yeah, that's so stressed. Do I go to the bar? Do I ask me if they want a drink? Yeah. What if they catch me? Because sometimes you go, do you know what?

I'll get your drink and you text them. You get the early. You know what you get. But then you're in like a bad place in the kids. They come in and they see you with your coat on. Should I be holding my coat? I know. Yes.

That's why you want to be turning up second. It's a power move to turn up seconds. I always try and turn up second. And girls can and should. But as a matter, if you turn up late, it's just like, you want to turn up second. That's an amazing move. Don't you think?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. But it's so good to hear this because this is exactly what I think. Oh. I always imagine guys don't think about this kind of thing. They're not worried about where. I'm always like, how do I stand? I'm sure I normally stand in a normal way. I don't know where my hands go.

I don't know whether. Yeah, you're like leaning on the bar. Leaning. Is this a normal stuff? And if you're first and you're like, should I like, I don't want to. be like looking at my phone when they come in because what if they think I'm looking at messages

that they've sent or I'm checking where they are. So then I always just try and like read a menu but then if I'm like, what am I just reading the burger menu for like 10 minutes? I don't know what I just... What if they're already in and watching you for 10 minutes? Like at the burgers.

Yeah, exactly. I do not know what that is the scariest 10 minutes of life. Yeah, it is. I find it terrifying. Did you ever do that thing where you get there and you think, I don't know. the fuck I'm meeting.

Yeah. I better go through the history. What do you do? Who are you? Yeah. And then you realize, sometimes you go, you go, I don't know anything

about this person. I know nothing about them. I don't know anything about this person. What am I doing? Tuesday night, what am I doing? What am I doing? All my friends back home

are like raising children about, the whole way there, I'm like, fuck there, fuck my life. Like everything is horrific. How do you feel about the whole thing

of like, I feel like often, someone turns up. Now, it can go to an amazing place or it can go wrong, but I, I just feel like that first two minutes, it tells me so, it's like, I'm pretty much like I feel like I'm 80% there how I feel two minutes ago.

Yeah, I know what you mean. You see how they look? And then you have a couple of interactions. And I just feel sometimes there should be a, there should be an agreement that you can go, two minutes and you go, what do you reckon? Call it off. Because there's an energy, there's just an energy, but you're like, oh, this will never, this could never be my person, this energy.

I've had a theory. Here's what we should do. You have it on the app and you both click whether you should stop the date short, right? So let's say I say carry on the date and you say don't. If only one person said stop the date, the date is to carry on. Because it's too awkward otherwise. Yes. So they don't know.

Yes. If you both say no, cut it off. Then we go, do you know what? And you probably be really good friends with that person. Yeah, I really like that. And you won't be wasting your time. Yeah, you can even go for a drink knowing that it's not going to be anything. If you both said no, then you could be like, oh, this is fine.

We can just have a drink and it's all good. Yeah. This is not anything. Yeah. And then it will become. The thing is the ones you. don't want, they're always the ones that will press, yes, that's the issue with it. Yeah, but then that's fine because at least, then you've not to do the thing.

Are you guys on the apps? Yeah. Yeah, but it's like new for us because I missed it first time around. Yeah. It's all new. And how are you finding it? Yeah, actually, all right. But you had to put the time in.

Yeah, I couldn't work it out. It took me a long time to work it out. And now I'm just like very selective. Like, I won't meet up with someone unless I'm like, oh, I feel like I could, I could really like this person. How long are you, like, messaging for? Week or two? Yeah.

Not more than that. Yeah, that's mature. But not every day. Did you say that's mature? That is mature. I wanted, I'd rather just meet immediately. Yeah. Because I can't be asked.

I hate texting. I hate texting people I love. I don't want to text this stranger. Yeah, within a few days, I want it like. I just want it done. Yeah. Yeah. This is why, so we went to like a speed dating, like a sort of group.

Have you ever done that awful? No. No. Awful. So bad. I didn't know they existed anymore. Real bad. Real bad.

But. You went together? Yeah. That's quite fun. Yeah. We've been twice together. Yeah. Both times are disaster.

Is this sort of situation? Yeah. This is exactly it. But they didn't bring us flowers. We made one man sitting between us. There's a producer off-screen. We just grill them. Lock the door.

Lock the door. So tell me about this event. Who was it run by? How do you find out about these things? Oh. They're crying out for men. You should go for sure. How do you would clean up there?

So when you go, you're basically, it's basically like 90% straight women. And then a few sort of, like nice guys, but God. But I think if you were somewhere where you could be on the app, say there was like 100 people. And you went on this like specific app for that event and you could like match with people. Yes, if you could see them in real life, but then you could like them. Was there a type of girl that was there and was there a type of guy that was there? No, I don't think. It was like a real mix of people.

And guys, it was not a type of guy? I bet it was and you don't want to say it. It's like horoscopes, right? There was a magician there, Paddy. And that's what I was in the people. Not really. They all had bowed eyes on. They all take on magic.

The dolls would not stop flying out of their sleeves. It was fucking chaos. What an amazing retreat. Yeah, not really. They were all magician. It was like the magic circle, wasn't it? Other than that, there was no crossover. Oh, so they're all magicians.

It's like, you know, women were great. But this is what I feel like a lot of these things, it's like horoscope. I don't feel like there's a type of woman. If a woman says she's into horoscope, you can't necessarily be like, well, she's like that, that and that. The moment a man says he's into it, I'm like, I know who you are.

I know exactly. I know who you are. And you're dangerous. Yeah, I agree. It's like the whole theory about like straight men who wear, nail polish. Oh, what's that theory? They're the most dangerous men on the planet. Yeah.

That's a well-known theory. This isn't my theory. But I feel that about horoscopes. And this is why I've always been cautious. It's men that say they're a feminist or something. That's why when I talk about having three sisters, I'm always so, I never, it's a weird thing to bring up because you just know how it sounds to be like, I get it.

And it's like, you don't. Yeah. I don't know. You're just scared to be like, yeah. The horoscopes thing is that those men are men that say they're into tarot. Yeah. Just they're dangerous guys. I agree.

You know what, you're a liar? You're lying, you're doing this. Yeah. This isn't true. Yeah. And they'll be doing terror and going like, oh, I see in your future that you don't trust, but you need to trust more or something. Yeah.

Oh, I see you need to suck there. This is the suck big card. Really? Is it really? And the mud looks just like you. In fact, these are all just pictures of you there. It's a hanged man, really. Oh, this one says 50-50.

That must be about the bill. No. No. No. God, no. Where are you guys on the splitting stuff? This will be, this will be lovely. This is very, this is very interesting.

This is very interesting. So I always go to split, but we've had opinions from men that maybe they quite like to, at least, on the first date, pay. I always pay. You always pay? Everything. That's insane. Amy.

David. Honey. Yeah, I always pair. Yeah, we've tried to explain. I pay for everything. I clean their shoes. Yeah. Any dry cleaning?

While I'm talking their dick, I'll polish the shoes. I'm phoning his mum. Paying for all of it. I've that been, that's amazing. Feminism has gone too bad. You see? We come a long way. Give me a vote.

I was happy about the vote. Before my time. Yeah, yeah, there should be a few more CEOs. You're paying the whole fit. Yeah, how would you feel about that? No, people have offered to pay, and I think it's lovely. So we brought it with our only other sort of straight male guests. We asked him and he was just like, oh, I would be so put off by that.

And I was like, okay. I'd love it. I'd love it, but it's a big move. It's funny because I thought, this is the thing. I do think like being in the dating pool for too long, this is what, you don't think like just being dating for too long, it takes more away than it's giving. That's what I think.

The way that my sisters are, the way that all my close female friends are, the way all my ex-girlfriends are, there's no, like, all the women that I've been close to in my life would always be like, yeah, just split it. Yeah. But then you meet enough people that I've got these theories about why it should be that way. And they've always got a case to make. And I remember I lived with a couple of girls a couple of years ago.

And they were both like really strong about how the man should pay. And because the woman spent all this money and effort to get ready and da-da-da-da, which I just disagree with. But you never want to explain any of that stuff on a date. No. Yeah. And I once went on a date with the girl and I said, let's go. First date, I always think drink. Absolutely a drink.

Don't you think? The thought of eating a meal with somebody hate it. She suggested let's go for dinner in Covent Garden and I was like well that's gutting.

But once again she was like that's the thing about self-respect. It's like I have self-respect and then someone's really sexy I'm like yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah I wouldn't actually do that oh yeah I'll do that oh yeah I'd hate to go Covent Garden have a shepherd's pie for 30 grid I'd hate that oh yeah yeah

yeah I'll do because you're sexy yeah and then we're having a day it was going well We even smooched at dinner. This is first day. At dinner. She made a joke to the thing

that we were actually like engaged. You know, doing that funny joke thing. And then the bill came and she just like let it sit there. And then I can't remember what was said first, but at some point she just said, I just think it's really romantic when a guy pays. And I was like,

and then the other thing, this is the thing I just get too. And then suddenly you're like defending yourself and coming out with it. The last thing women want is like detail. details and stats, you know? Well, actually, because women suddenly feel that they owe them, you're suddenly saying something. You're like, you're like, you're like, what you started saying to step back.

No, I didn't. I didn't. I just said, I just said, I just said, we should split. And it just like was a, once it was brought up, it was a complete turn off. And then what was so funny is I went to see my friends. God, it's crazy. I went to see my friends and they were like, they were like, good on your pad. They were like, really, they were like, it was my friend, my friend, my friend, Ration and B, guy and a girl, they're a couple.

Yeah. They were like, good on you, that I'm proud of you. And then they said, let's see a photo of her. And then I showed her a photo and they went, you're a moron. No one's ever often displayed with her ever before. And then I suddenly saw it through her eyes. I was like, oh my God, yeah. Yeah, she was on.

Yeah. Yeah, we should have paid for it. What's I thinking? But I still stand by my ground. I agree with you. I think that I think that. But there's nothing like being right alone in a cold bed. Like that.

Yeah, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Take that. Beautiful woman of my dreams. Yeah. You thought, you thought, you thought, you thought I was good favourite. Then we could have wonderful sex. Did you ever see her again?

No. No. Oh, Patty. But I can thought about her a bit. But then you start thinking, because I was on a date once with a girl. And it was when I was recent, you know, fairly, fairly new to London. And earning like, I mean, I was earning like, you know, 12 grand a year. Like literally earning nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She had this amazing corporate job and she was international all the time.

Yeah. And then she ordered cocktails. And then she did this whole. thing where she was like, you should be paying. Basically, you need to basically prove that you actually can. So I was like, I got the first round, I got the second round. I think I got like four rounds and then she got another round. She got the fifth and made a point of it.

Yeah. And I was like, this is, but again, you can't explain it. There's no getting around it. There's no explaining that makes it seem right. It just seems like unbelievably unsexual. As soon as you start to explain, it's over. Yeah. Even if your point is perfect, it's over.

Yeah. I just find it so interesting because often I'll offer to split and the men will just be like, oh, no, I've got this. But then the couple of times that they haven't said that, then I've thought, oh, maybe they don't like me. And so it's really interesting to hear that. But I do, because I do think it should be split that it should be, you don't even really know each other yet.

Like, until you know someone, you shouldn't want to pay for them, really. Like, once you know someone and you love them, then you want to treat each other and take it in turns. Yeah, I just thought this was like stuff from, like, the, I thought we'd got over this stuff in the 80s or the 90s. But then you just see, like, one TikTok and you think, oh, fuck, yeah. You know what I mean? It'll just be like one girl, like, pointing to things why I should do it.

She's beautiful and she points four times I'm like, I'm wrong. A beautiful woman pointed at four different things. I'm wrong. I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I'm wrong. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge. This is the thing to go back to it is what I feel is the thing that I think is

harder as you get older is I sometimes wonder, am I still trying to chase that feeling I had when I was last sort of falling in love, which would have been in my mid-20s? Yeah. And am I chasing a thing that doesn't really exist for me anymore? And I feel like if I look back at all the, not even just like long-term relationships,

but, you know, romantic, whatever you'd want to call them, with people that, when it's just worked, it has just been, none of this has been second-guessed. And I think I'm still waiting to meet someone where it does just, like, flow. And these things, because that has happened to me in the past. Whereas I find, like, problem with dating is you see people and there's, like, all these little things. And it might be politics, or it might be money, all these things. and you're suddenly like, this shouldn't be, I don't think it should be this hard this early on.

But do you think when you're in your 20s, you're looking at less criteria almost? And you're less formed. You're less formed and you're less, not even less picky, but like you're not thinking so much about like, would they be a good life partner? Would they be a good pair? Would they, do they have stable income and all this?

When you're in 20s, you're literally just like, it's almost like a lust, obsession. Yeah. And you can just fall so freely and deeply in love because you're just like in a whirlwind. Whereas when you're in your 30s, you might, even if you met that same person again, I think they'd just be extra criteria going like, but what about this and what about this? And would they be a good partner to live with? And how do they make, does they make me feel anxious?

And I think we've just made it harder for ourselves. I don't think it's the people that we're meeting. I think we've just, we add criteria as we get older. Will you date someone? Because this is something I've been told I should do more. will you date someone and you'll be like they check all the things but i'm just not feeling it because i've people have told me you know i was my friend was like i'd introduced a girl that had been seen for like a couple of months we worked the theater and we bumped into a friend

and then he saw me a couple months late he said what happened i said oh it just wasn't quite feeling right and i always felt like you know rather than keep it going for too long and he was like you're crazy and then he started talking about when he met his wife they was just like the chemistry wasn't there that it had in the past but you know they worked they didn't and then it sort of became this other thing. But I still think, if you're not feeling that... Yeah. What would be on your list?

Like, what are you looking for? No, but what I'm saying is, will you date to someone who's not done anything wrong per se, but you're not quite feeling that... Are you looking for that spark? Of course, yeah. Because I've been talking about... The spark, but you have to have the list of things as well.

Yeah. But what about the list of no spark? The list of no spark, no. That's what I think. That's what I think. What do you think? That's why I've always thought, but now there's always...

There's all this stuff, isn't there, about, like, the spark is actually anxious attachment bubbling over and it's actually a body. They've cancelled the spark. They've cancelled the spark. Can you believe that? Can you believe that's cancelled? I've cancelled. It's the only reason to live. That's all I had. Out of like, yeah, one spark every three months and that just keeps me going. Untie the news. Take away the stool. There's been a spark. A second spark has hit bad a young. But the spark is just you want to kiss them. Isn't that just the spark? Yeah.

That's what it is. Do you want to kiss them? And if you want to kiss them and they're on the list, then it's great. If you don't want to kiss them, then you shouldn't see them again because that's a friend. Yeah, but what if a spark was to develop? If you don't want to kiss them from the beginning, like, you'll never want to kiss them. No, I do disagree with that. Yeah, maybe I do disagree with that. I know you disagree with that. I don't know, because you can get to know somebody and then people can kind of show themselves to you.

And who they are at the beginning is not who they are once you really know them. So how many dates in would you go with, let's say you don't want to kiss them on the first day? I wouldn't go on more dates. It was just if I got to know someone in real life. If I didn't want to kiss someone on a first date, I wouldn't go on another date with them. But if I got to know someone in real life and then got to know them and really understand them

and then you kind of formed a moment. No, I get that. But the problem with dating is it makes it, do you fancy them or do you not? I'd go three dates. Three dates, do that one need to kiss them? Three dates, no. Three dates, no, no.

If they were a great person, and I'd be like, I'd be like trying to fill my brain with Tinder, as in like, kind of. And she's paying for the whole thing all three times. I think this is caught you're a fortune. I want you physically repulsive. I'll get this.

I'll get this. Do you want anything else? Do you have a pudding? You get a pudding? Yeah, get a pudding. I'll get you an Uber home as well. That's my other trip. I always get people Uber Home.

You don't, Amy. If you go on a date with Amy, you get the full treatment. This is amazing. Flood job behind a bin, Uber Home. Every time. You're walking home. Walking home with scuffed knees. Sobbing because there was no spark.

And I've got to do it two more time. Well, you've got a three-bobob. bottle of water and I've got bottle over my shins. She's a grafter. I'm a grafter. I spoke to my friend who I hadn't seen for a little bit. I spent her over the weekend. And I was like,

who've you got a crush on? And she's like, no one. And I was like, I don't know you get up in the morning. The only thing that fuels my life is having crushes on people. That's it. That's the only energy I have. I don't know why. And I was thinking about a spark developing.

So someone, a comedian who I've known for years and years and years and years, never looked at him twice, always liked him, always gone, oh, he's a good looking boy, never, ever thought twice about him. And then just one day at a gig, afterwards I was like, was he always been, like, fit? Like, that fit. And then I said to someone, is he single?

And they said, oh, yeah, he's recently single. And because he's, he's like, he's always been, like, if someone's in a relationship or whatever, it's like shut us down. But I guess if someone's like, opening up and inviting a bit of sparkiness. I think you can be like, go, go, go, you know what I mean? Totally.

And Nicholas Parsons, he's got such a great turnaround. He's fit. But you just don't notice. I'll get your stair lift. I'll get your dentures clean, don't we? Just add it to the bill. Just invoice me. All right, Nicholas.

Can we have this liquidate? Yeah. Three days. You don't have time, though. So he was giving up his single energy. Yeah, and it was like magnetic And I've done him for like seven years Never thought of him like that ever

And then we're suddenly just like Wow What's new? And you didn't know I asked my friend if you were single My friend knows him well And he was like yeah And then I was like okay And then the next time I saw him

I was like oh my God And now I'm besotted Wow Yeah So you should go up to ask No, can't Yeah it's weird isn't it It's too weird

It's like the straight guy in a gay club thing as well I once went out Canal Street in Manchester and I was like, all these guys are hitting on me. And then my friend was like, yeah, because you're the only straight guy and you just have this different energy about you.

Interesting. I was like, I was a bit of a twink at the time. So I was like, give me that as well. I was in hot pants. I was a straight guy in there. Oh, what's that my butt mug? Well, boys, there's space opening. Poppers around your neck

on a necklace, all different types of poppers. Well, like I'm getting mad in Hawaii. Yeah. Paddy, thank you so much for coming on. Has it been as scary as you thought it would be? I feel like I've definitely said some, I've revealed so much about myself. So you guys should be happy with that.

I mean, God knows, God knows. It's been so nice to chat. It's been lovely to you. Yeah, no, it's been lovely to chat to you both. Wow, thank you so much, Patty. Thank you. I appreciate talking to you both. Thank you for our flowers.

It's really sweet. You're a sweet boy. And you guys are sweet. Do you think you'd ever, do you think you'd give me advice outside of this? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Will you give us advice? Yeah, do you think all said and done now that we've got, is it all good between us and me?

It's all good between us, bad. That's nice. I was scared. It was always good between us. I'm glad. I'm glad. I don't respect you, like your craft, I like who you are. And I just think the fact that you're just going out there and doing it, I just think, do you know what?

When I came in here, I had three sisters. I've got five. And I fancy my son. That's a damaged. That's going to have a share of bath together. Is it ham? Well, that was a bit. Well, that was.

He's cute. He's a sweet boy. Very sweet boy. I think it's good. He got some things off his chest. Yeah. It's so funny making boys nervous, isn't it? I've never seen it done. Yeah. And he was so nervous. He was all like that. He didn't know how to sit. No. It was like he was on a date with us both, I suppose. Yeah, it was. Yeah. But we got there and I had a lovely time chatting to me. Yeah. And it was just fun hearing that boys get, have that same feeling when you go on a date. It's exactly the same. I don't know why I just always think. they're confident and that they don't have feelings.

Why do I think men don't have feelings? I just always forget. Do you forget? Oh, for sure. Yeah. Or I presume that they're not feeling the same. They're not nervous about the same things. They're not worried about how they're stood at a bar.

Yeah. Exactly. Oh, I just stand. Yeah, I just stand. I'm a man. I just stand in my man's world with my man's body. Just standing. It's so easy for me.

But it's hard. It's hard for us all. It's hard for them, too. Well, thank you so much. Paddy for coming on. You can follow him on Instagram at Paddy is Young. He does his little sketches. We will stop saying little when referring to men and their accomplishments. He does brilliant sketches online with his little man head. But he was so lovely. Our first guest to bring us flowers. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're listening to future guests,

it is encouraged. It is encouraged. Yeah. Yeah. Bring us gifts. The bar has been raised. We know, Harriet's. Love language is gifts. I actually think it isn't now, though. I actually think it's acts of service. It's not gifts. I like things done for me, but actually I don't care so much about actual things. It's the thought and the time and the, oh, I'll do something proactive.

It's the task rabbit. You've come on over to the dark side. Get some task rabbit. That's what happens. Hello, single ladies. If you're a single lady and you're interested in meeting other single people who are really furious about the direction of the Labour Party and a contemplating voting green for the first time, then you might meet them in the audience at one of my tour shows.

I'm Nish Kumar and my stand-up comedy show is called Angry Humour from a Really Nice Guy. We're going to the UK and Ireland between September and November of 2006 and the tickets are available right now. I will, if requested, organise a dating service during the show. I would say if you're interested in meeting some very angry people, they will be at the show and they will be mad as hell. Tickets are available at nishcamore.coma.com.com.com.com.com. None of this is legally binding.

You may not meet your life partner at one of Nishkamars tour shows.