Single Ladies In Your Area - Faking it ’til you make it and leaning into The Cringe with Sharon Wanjohi

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

This week we welcome comedian (and ray of sunshine) Sharon Wanjohi to the Single Ladies studio! She answers questions like: Is it okay to sometimes fake it 'til you make it, or should you always be ��authentic✨? How can we enjoy our cringiest selves? And how likely is it that a chic French woman would be walking around Paris with ...pet chicken?Watch the full video episode over on our Patreon at patreon.com/SingleLadiesInYourArea.Sharon is taking her incredible show Sharon Wanjohi: In The House to London's Soho Theatre from 13-16 May 2026. For tickets head to sohotheatre.com.And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show 'Floozy' from October 2026. For tickets and dates head over harrietkemsley.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodProduced, recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing.

So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is...

Single Ladies in Your... area. Hello everybody. Hi, babies. Thanks for joining. You might have noticed, for those that are very astute listening. It's just me.

There's no Amy today. I have taken control of the single lady's ship. While my shipmate is off there, there are rumours of what she's up to. Potentially, they involve the numbers, 007. Potentially, potentially Amy is the new James Bond.

It's a rumor I've had. heard, Amy started it. Amy started the rumor. She is, she is the New James Bond, spread it. But yeah, unfortunately, Amy is not here today. We miss her. We love her. But we do have an amazing guest. I had so much fun chatting to her and I think, I think you're all going to love it. She's, she's my new inspiration, actually. Please enjoy my conversation with Sharon and Joey. You've got to get in there and sniff them. Oh, hello, Sharon. Hi.

I'm so excited that you're here. I'm excited to be you. We've got a podcast first, not only that you're here, but that we have our first hat in the studio. Hazar! Sharon, it's fabulous. Thank you. I'm trying. But you're not just trying.

You're like, you're killing it. Like, this hat is a thing of beauty. It's like positioned on your head, like, in a way that I can't even... I'm coming here every week. This is what I needed. Do you often wear hats? Do you know what? No.

And I said this year, I want to be a thing. a hat person. Yes. I want to be like, Sharon with the hat. You've already done everything you need to do for this year. You are sharing with the hats. The first step is the hardest one. Yeah, the first hat.

The first hat is the hardest. And it has to be an ugly hat as well, so it gets you out of your comfort zone. Right. Okay. And then when you put a beautiful piece on your head, you're like, well, at least it's not that rainbow back, snapback that I was wearing. That was the law-length dress. A beginner entry hat. And then you've elevated to this like, a vintage number.

It's like, it's not a beret. It's like a, I don't even. know what the name is. Shubby doby dovie. That's how I feel. Oh, that's how you feel. I was like that's the name of the hat. Shibidoo-dubidoo-dubi.

I would have got away and thought that and got into a hand. Oh, I should have a shop and said, could I have a shub-dib-dib-dib-billis. It's a curious. Yeah, please get this woman out of here. It's so good. It's like a 30s kind of hat, I think. Is it vintage? My brother got it for me for Christmas.

You have a great brother. How did your brother know to get you a hat? I said, listen, if I want anything for Christmas is a vintage hat. And he said, Bet, I got you, babe. And then I unwrapped this beauty. And I genuinely shed tears. I couldn't believe it.

I never felt more beautiful in my life. Your brother got you this hat. I know, right? The plot is thickening. He's a good boy. How did he know to get this hat? He's just a good boy. He's always been very kind of intuitive and like he knows what you want before.

You know what you want. Is he an older or younger brother? Younger brother, would you imagine? Wow. I know, but he moved through the world like an older brother. He's so mature. Oh, my goodness. Every Saturday morning he goes to the library.

Just to read. Oh, I know. Oh, he's just to read. That could never be me. Yeah. I'm waking up on Saturday, but what day is it? Yeah. Who am I?

Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to do anything. I don't trick to me. So this hat is so good. So it's a new thing. You're putting yourself out there with hats. I'm trying. It's scary, but I think it's going to be worth it in the end.

I'm talking about it so much, because it's, I'm so impressed. I think we should all try and do more hat. Everyone should wear a hat. Yes. And there are so many different hats. It's a top hat. It's a good way to express yourself with a hat. You look so chic and you look fantastic.

And I'm so happy that you're here. And I'm sorry that I've spoken so much about the hat. Like, around the beginning, but it was really, it was the kind of thing I had to go off my chest. So I had to talk about it. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. We know each other a little bit from the stand-up comedy circuit. But not a lot. So I'm kind of excited, like, to get to know you. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited. You're going to learn about each other, do you? Because I don't even know.

Are you in a relationship? I'm not, no. No. No. Why did I say it like that? I don't know. I didn't know. I said it like that.

I don't know. It was fun. Yeah, what was the meaning behind that? Like, as if... Do you know what it is? I think I'm putting pressure on myself at the age I'm at to be in a relationship even though I don't think it's the right thing for you right now.

What is the rough ballpark age you're at? You don't have to say the number, but like... Later 20s. Later 20s. Yes. So seeing everyone on... You better hurry. You better hurry.

Cat don't. Bring me my cats. It's so silly, isn't it? But everyone my age is like getting married and like five houses and popping out babies. But then in the 30s, if they're like me, they can get divorced. So this is a thing

that I would say wait a little while. Can I just say it's very chic to be divorced? It's so chic. I think two, three divorces is maximum

chicness. I actually think maybe I'm just someone with a lot of divorces in me. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I don't learn lessons. Someone the other day was like would you marry again and I was like, yeah for sure. And you're like, what's wrong with you? Like,

after everything you've been through the last few years and I'm like, I'm like a fish. I just forget, you know, I just keep going.

I was thinking about this as well. My ex-husband is such like an interesting character in my life. Like he's just like this like a new a new character. You know, like how you have like siblings, friends, children. And now I have this new role of ex-husband. Yeah, and it's kind of, it's kind of fun.

Like I prefer him in that role to husband and I will find hopefully my husband one day, but it's, I like having an ex-husband there as well. It's cheap. Because yeah, it's nice. Can I ask you guys friends? Yes, lovely. Great friends and big enemies. It like, it goes between It goes between.

Some days, the greatest friends. Sometimes he is my biggest enemy. But mostly, mostly he's great. He's a great co-parent. He means well. But sometimes he is my worst enemy. Actually really love you. And that's honest.

And that's brave. Thank you so much for sharing that. I don't think he would say the same. He wouldn't say I was his worst enemy. He'd say, we could on great. It's so nice. He's not allowed to. The men aren't allowed to say that.

He's not allowed to say that. It's toxic. He's going on a podcast now. going to be like, this is a fucking bitch. Oh, you, you guys don't even know what's happening by the seeds. But generally, I think he just has to be like, yeah, no. She's amazing. Yeah, it's all worked out how it should.

But no, he's my best, random worst enemy. And I recommend it. So you're feeling a little bit of the pressure kind of. Yeah, but it's so silly. It's like internal. Because are you, are you, um, do you say Gen Z? Yes. Yeah, late.

You said that was so much the same. I was like, is it Gen Z? And then I was like, Barrett, it's like I was going to say it like really like millennially. Like I was going to say it wrong. You know what I mean? Like really chugy the way it's age. You're not that different in age.

Yeah. Stop aging yourself like that. Yeah, I know. Well, I was like, but you know, you're like a, it feels like a thing to talk about is that like you're in a different like bracket of life. And it just, I thought that your generation were like, um, not so ready to rush into things. Oh yeah. No, people, people, Genzy, because I'm an older Genzy, I think there's kind of a bit of a crossover with millennium and Genzy. You've still got a little bit of a millennium.

But the young ones are like, fuck marriage, fuck relationships. Which is really interesting. The girlies and the boys are not dating. No one's dating. No one's getting married on a playground anymore. That's dying out. Right? That's healthy.

Bring back child. That's really healthy. Bring bad child marriage. I think it was, it partnered the seed of a relationship. I think that's important. Plus it was just so camp. Like, I've just had a hand sandwich. I'm getting married in my school uniform.

Like, I love that. How many people did you marry? I only married once, would you imagine. Yeah, and only because, oh my God, maybe this is where it comes from, only because my classmates were doing it. I didn't even like the boy. Wow, we're working out a lot. Oh, my God.

But let's talk about something fun. Okay, did you ever officially end it? Or are you technically still married to this boy? If I remember correctly, his name was Ryan. And if Ryan, you're listening to this, I fucking hate you. That's how it goes sometimes with ex-husband. Let me tell you. Nassie little.

Oh, okay. Ryan is different. Just a bit of a bitch. Yeah. I'm going to say, I think Ryan's probably not listening. You never know, though. I don't know if this is the... What is how we reconnect?

I don't know if this is the world that you're going to re-find Ryan in. I don't have single ladies in your area. What happened to a man of... Nasty little cunt, Ryan is going to be hanging out. It's not the general target, I will say. My bad. I apologize.

Yeah. He gave me a harrowe ring. And so he was like, you're not allowed to eat it. If you eat it, that means divorce. That's so hard, though. I ate it immediately. Of course. The marriage was like two seconds long.

Of course. You can't give me a gorgeous thing like that. No. No. come on. No, absolutely not. You were setting me up. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it was a test. And you know what? I failed. You failed. And marriage shouldn't be a test. You should accept you who you are. And just keep giving you Haribai rings every day.

That's what he should have done. If he was meant for you, he would have brought you a new Haribai ring every day. Oh, my God. That's what you need. I hope Ryan's listening to this. I hope Ryan is listening. He's not listening. I'm telling you he's not listening.

There's no chance he's listening. Although maybe sometimes what does happen is that people's friends listen and then they send it to them. That's what I've discovered. So it doesn't sound that Ryan. has friends though, so I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about it because it's okay. Fuck Ryan. This is a fuck Ryan podcast. Roses are red, violets are blue. We've matched on an app. What you up to?

So you're dating. You're out there. Are you dating very loosely? Yes, have been on dates. I've been on dates. I'm not on the apps. You're not on the apps. Is that crazy? Is that lazy? I think it's just, I just think it's so hard to make people in real life. No, but still, in my head, okay, this is my fantasy. I'm in France, right, writing a book, Sophie Kinsella-esque book. Under the Iafel Tower, I drop all my books.

I bump it to someone, you drop all out books, you know, the classic rom-com early 2000s. I look up a French lesbian in her 40s. Bigot under one arm, chicken under the other, like a live chicken. A live chicken? Yes. At the Gifel Tower? Yes. We're not in rural France.

No, no, no, no, no. But she brings that energy. She has a chicken. She marches to the beat of her own drum. Yeah. She's brought the chicken in to see the, to see the side. Yeah, it's like babe pig in the city. But with the chicken.

You see the vision already. I see it. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. It's okay, you know. No, that's okay. I'm saying the chicken. I'm going to be sick. This is bringing it to life, thanks you so much.

She falls in love with me immediately. I can't. I live in France. I can't do a long distance. But please, but please, she buys me a house in the south of France. A quick comedy forever. We go in her right books. No one ever buys them.

We make bread together. And it's just, you know, happy, peaceful life. Would you say you're a realist? Yeah. Okay. Because you know you're in London. I am.

Yes. So there's quite a few life changes you have to go through in order for this to transpire. Because you live in England. This is in France. In the story you live in France. Right, right, right, right. In the story, a woman has a chicken. You know what I mean?

And so I think I never want to say that anyone should aim too high. I never want to say that. I want this for you. But I think you should centre this slightly more in your life. No. No, no, no. I woke up this year and decided to start wearing hats and if I can do that, I think I can do anything.

Yes. But then you need to book a ticket to Paris. I was just in the South of France. It didn't happen. So I'll go back again for part two. Oh my God. That was the beginning. Now I'm going to get my happy.

You will only date in the South of France. No. No. No, you will date in. But that's how you are end up with. I'll have like a string of lovers before them. Yes. Yeah.

So this is like the big finale, the big finish. Wow, this is wonderful. Thank you. I believe you can manifest this. I think it's possible for you. But in the meantime, it's just say, as to say, in the meantime,

before all this happens, what's the immediate plan? Is to meet somebody in real life? If it happens, maybe I am being lazy about dating. How do people meet people nowadays apart from the ex? I think, oh, I don't think there is an apart from the ass.

I think that's the problem. I think it's just, you have to see it as a job, as an admin. You're joking. Swipey, swipy, swipy, swipy, until you literally have a, is it called R. I or whatever when you have repetitive.

Repetitive. You're genuinely damaged physically. That's not so good. Could you potentially go on a date with a mediocre person? That's the price. And I'm not doing it. I'm opting out. That's good.

And I think then it could potentially find you. I feel like, I don't know, I feel like someone could see you in the street and be like, this is my person. I think the thing with you is you're projecting like a wonderful energy, but also you're really projecting like yourself. Like I really like, I feel like, A lot of people are just, like, trying to get by. Where you're, like, killing it.

Stop it. Look at you with your hat. You look so chic and beautiful. And I just feel like somebody could see that and be like, that is my wife. You know what I mean? You're giving wife energy. Oh my God. Okay, so I'm going to text you tonight.

Hopefully I would have found a wife by then. Because this is giving me the kind of the boost I need in terms of my self-esteem. Okay. So do you think yourself as you need a boost? Wow. That was a deep question. Yeah, sorry. I really went to me.

What, that kind of short second is my brain. Yeah. Sorry. Because from the outside, you seem like you have wonderful self-esteem. Thank you. That's what I'm saying it. I think it's a mixture of faking it until you make it. But then I'm also trying to be more authentic this year.

But I admire that. Like, I kind of admire people that can fake it. Like, what are the tips that you do to do that? Because I think that's a really hard thing. I think sometimes your self-esteem feels low. You're like, I don't know what the steps are to even fake that I have any self-esteem. I just, whenever I've been in those places in my life, it's just like, I'm just like, I can't hide anything. This is what it is.

I'm like, come, I mean. But that's authentic. Yeah. but like off-putting as well. You know what I think. But not for the right person. They'll be immediately charmed by that. I don't think so actually.

I actually think that like you need to put, you need to put a bit of effort into things. Okay. Like because the person that I want to be with would do the same. So it's like you have to like dig yourself out of a hole. You have to like you have to put on your own seatbelt, oxygen mask, all the things you have to do.

You have to do all those things for yourself because I want a partner that is doing that as well. I don't want to just be like in a. ditch and just be like, help, I'm in a ditch, you know? And they're like, oh, it's so charming. There's ditch lady, you know what I mean? I don't want someone that's attracted to a ditch lady. So I have to dig myself out of the ditch. Okay, I understand what you're saying now. Yeah. I think it's adopting like almost like a character. It's, it's, it's Norma Gne versus Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. It's stepping into something outside of yourself and then eventually you just become that version of yourself. I love that because I heard a quote. Someone's telling me

about how they saw, I think, I think it was Marilyn Monroe just like living. her life like normally and they're like how do you do it? And then she kind of just transformed. And she was like, watch this and then she switches it on. And suddenly everyone is falling beside themselves because they're like, oh, she's like stepped into her energy or her boyfriend. And I guess that is a similar thing with stand-up. It's like when you're doing stand-up, it's like I always think of it as kind of like

the best version of myself. Like most of the time I'm just like slobbing around. And some people that see me on stage will say that I'm also doing that then. But like my best like most like authentic self will translate to when I'm. I'm doing best on stage, kind of. So it's exactly that. It's doing what you do before you get on stage and go, okay, it's going to be great, it's going to be fine.

You step on stage, you kind of become the stand-up version of herself. It's just that bit in everyday life. But yeah, but I love putting it into everyday life because sometimes everyday life can feel so tiring and so like draining. Very draining. But you're like, if you bring a bit of your best self and a bit of Avavu and you put like a little bit of energy into things, it can really help manage things that feel overwhelming or boring.

Definitely. There's something about being in tune or putting a bit of thought or energy into it. like wearing the hat. Like, I just don't know if you could have a bad day wearing that hat. And that's exactly what it is. It's like putting on a superhero costume. Yes.

Wow. I feel like we're discovering stuff. I don't know what it is, but we're getting to the bottom of things. We're not doing spoken word. This is great. Wow. We've got to get out there.

When was your last relationship? Two and a bit years ago now. Okay. Yeah, so it's been a while. And we, you know, it was a really good relationship. We didn't end on bad. terms. But I'm just, I don't know. I don't think I'm ready to date again. I don't know what it is. I think I just want to be me for a bit. I think that's really healthy. I think that's the best

way to find somebody. I think it's like, I don't know, like you just have to, it's like you can meet someone at the stage that you're at. But if you feel like you still have like stuff that you need to do, like you either find somebody that you're like working with towards it with or you like keep growing a bit and then you find someone when you feel a bit more growing. Yeah. And you're more aligned because you're a version of yourself that's really comfortable and happy and content. What kind of thing are you looking for? That's a great question.

I think I want to get married. I like the idea of marriage on paper. In theory, I'm not so sure. But I don't know. I've never been married. So I would like to be married at least once, maybe twice. Yeah. I really recommend a start to marriage.

Thank you. I really recommend it. I think I need to do that now. No, no. I just got out of mine in my mid-30s. So I think that you can... Slay. Yeah, you can just have like dip in,

out. I'm so chic. Thank you for saying that. It doesn't feel it at the time. Thank you. But on the other side of it. On the other side of it. You look good.

You're like, I'll take it. Whatever. So yeah, marriage. Someone to live out the rest of my days with someone to do things with, you know, just like cooking classes and like. Cooking classes. Yeah. Just something really mushy.

I really want, oh God, this is going to sound so wet. Wait, okay, just pretend I'm cool when I'm saying this, right? It's impossible not to. I really want someone to you. My biggest fantasy is. Having someone to scrapbook with. Like, we just have a... Oh, that was so gay.

That was so gay. Oh, my God. Pretend I didn't say that. But, like, going on dates and you take a little polaroid, you go home, pour a glass of wine. You're like, let's put it in the scrapbook. It's like, I think the problem is because I date men, that's not...

Oh, yeah, no, sorry, really. You know what I'm going to be able to pretend. I got even going to pretend. I'm only going to pretend. I'm so sorry that you're straight. Maybe in the next lifetime. Try it for a bit. It's kind of like wearing shoes a size too small.

It's a bit uncomfortable at first, but then, you know, you wear it in and you're like, okay, so this is... Yeah, yeah, there sounds much better. I, um, no, it's funny as doing that scrapbooking. I actually, I went to the Red Roses, the England rugby team, the women's team, like, they're amazing. And they had, like, a championship ball, and I do a podcast with some of them. And one of the players, like, she loves scrapbooking. And she was just talking so honestly. And, like, it was so funny and so sweet about how much she loves scrapbooking.

And now everyone kind of takes a piece out of her about her scrapbooking, but I was like, it's so, beautiful and why don't we do things like that to like I think it's such a such a good thing to like preserve those memories and also yeah it's like a physical way of not just like writing down what you're grateful for actually being up to like look at it and be like there's a receipt from that day for dinner here and it's like the original Instagram

oh my god it's like your own private original Instagram like that's so lovely it really is but to do that I can't even imagine doing that with a partner I did that with my oh oh god I'm so sorry I So sorry. But I think it genuinely changed my life. I was like, this is so romantic in a way that I did not see coming.

And where are those scrapbooks now? Next to my bird. I don't even look at them every day. It's fine. I don't even look at them. Yeah. They're just there. It's just there.

It's just there. I forgot to chuck away. It's going to go away. Bins are coming to something. It's fine. It's fine. It's great. But it's just little things like that.

Yeah. Because you could do that kind of stuff with your friends and you should. But I think there's a layer when it's, romantic. This is it. Right? Yeah, because you're building something. It's like you're like, um,

your thing. That's so cute. Oh my God. If I, I just love the idea of trying to make a man scrapbook. It's just, it's really fun though. Or if I was like,

like on a third date, like, surprise! You started it from the first day. My bus ticket on the way to the date. This is you from 2014. An old tissue fell out of his pocket. And I sell it.

saved it. Your pen from work, how do you know what? His mother's perfume, sprayed on a page. He's like, thanks, Erin. Men do like that kind of stuff. I'm gonna stick my neck out. They don't. But they love that.

Straight men love that. Actually, they do, like, I have, like, one of those red light masks, and they do, they do quite like that. Yeah, it's actually good. It's actually good, the red light. Although I got red light. recommended, this is a very random thing, but the best thing for skin is pre-Larsen, I did this thing with her and she recommended these thing called a zip. It's like, it's like mad, like these like electro currents come out of it.

And it's like, I think they do it at like face gym and stuff. And it means that your face has like these like spasms. But it's like apparently like really good for your skin. Can you feel it? Yeah, you feel it. It like makes you like go like, ah, like a bit of bits of it. And you're like, that feels bad because that wasn't in my eye. Like things like that.

But she was like, that's the best thing. And she's like Hollywood. She's like Hollywood. So I was like, whatever she says, goes, that has to be what you do. Oh, thank you. Yeah, so that's, that's my. The things we have to do.

I know, I know. I wish I could use a seven in one face wash, body wash, car wash. Car wash. I'll just stop this bucket over the car and myself. And they have the best skin. It genuinely drives me nuts. It's a match.

do you so how is how with your relationships like do you look back like positively at your relationship do you think they've been like um like yeah what was your first relationship I've never had a crazy bad relationship my first ever relationship was with my then at the time drug dealer um wow probably shouldn't tell us on the internet but it is what it is and um what what eight roughly was this i was 17 turning 18 my love language is gifts as well so i can really see I can really see that. I'm like, they're bringing me what I want.

I never made that connection. Yes. Oh, that's brilliant. Acts of service and gifts. Oh, my God. That's bringing me. Quality time. Because if we're hanging around.

Some physical touches we hand over the money. That's good. That's very good. He was a lovely enough guy. He was very nice. He was very sensitive. But then one day I went around to his. We'd always hang out either mine or my cousin's place.

I'd never gone to his. And one day I went to his. It was the first time we'd been like, I think it was months in Syracianhip at that point. and they were just, oh my God, I hope you, I hope, can I get arrested? Um, not by me. Okay. Then it's fine.

Then it's fine. There was just piles of like cocaine everywhere. I felt like it was in public. I don't think you. I don't know. I'm so paranoid. I'm not really. She's all like eight, ten years ago.

Get her! It was just everywhere. And every two minutes, like, we were like getting quite intimate. And every two minutes there would be like a knock on the door and then a crackhead would come in. And I just like, oh, it really took the romance out of it. That is, yeah, the reality, the day-to-day reality of he is running like an actual drug operation. Like a wholesale business as well, you know, and like, he's at work.

But then also, yeah, you're like, oh, this is causing real damage to people's lives. Right. And that is well, yeah. So I just, I couldn't see him the same. And then I was like rethinking the relationship. And then he got kidnapped. This is the second kidnapping story. I have heard of men being kidnapped.

This is, why are they getting kidnapped? all the time. I don't know. That's crazy. I can tell you enough about the life around drugs to say why. Something to do with territory, but I never fully asked. Right, yeah. And then he came back and he was always very traumatized, bless him.

And then he joined a cult and then I never saw him again. Okay. Yeah. So that was the first one. I'm glad that didn't work out. Why not? How day you? Are you judging me right now?

He was interesting. He played piano. He spoke French. She watched Dragon Balls. you know, he just had everything. I just think Nicole life isn't for you. No, you know what I mean? I'm too soft for that.

Yeah, but also like they're not leaving into like hats, you know. There's not my self-expression, you know, you'd be in some drab outfit. Like, it's not for you. Thank you. And so after him, who came after him? Then I had a kind of string of relationships in university when I was still trying to figure out myself and my sexuality. That never ultimately went anywhere.

I was a lot of dates, a lot of dates with older men, really old men. Really old. Really old. Really old. Like, really old. What keeper? What keeper? Okay.

Just kind of like the end of their life. Palliative care. Palli, that's the perfect. That's a perfect description. Sharon, why you so old? Oh, that's a great question. I never stopped to actually ask myself. I think it was the thrill of like, it was the thrill of it.

Yeah, yeah, I can get old guys. Because they'd say something, I'd be like, ugh. You're born in the 1800s. And I'd find it funny over text and then we'd meet up and I'd see them and I'd be like, oh my God, you're actually really fucking old. I remember going on a date with this one guy and, oh God, I've never been more embarrassed in my life. The server, the server was taking down an order and he was having trouble hearing because he was really old. And so she went, so what would your grandfather like?

Oh, my God. Because that, Sharon, that is so bad because sometimes you hear of people get mistaken for somebody's daughter. But to be mistaken for somebody's granddaughter is a whole other level. Oh, that's the day I stopped. Believe me, you. everything froze. It was silent in my world. And I couldn't even eat. I felt sick to my stomach.

For the rest of the dinner, I sat like this. No eye contact. He kept kind of like rejoicing. Yeah. Feeding him, putting the octogen back on. Yes. Oh, wow. Well, I'm glad you're through that phase.

But it was a fun phase while it lasted. It doesn't sound that fun. I think everyone should have an old phase. Yeah. Because you learn a lot. I think my oldest is like 13 years old or something. But I was like in my early 20s, so it felt like,

a big, like that was like over a third of my life. Like it felt like a big difference, you know. It was like over like, I think it was like over half of my life was something they'd lived, a whole life of other half, you know? So they felt like they had all this knowledge and things that I didn't have. And then in hindsight, they didn't. Oh no, they never do. Even at the end of their life.

Yeah. Complete stupidity. That's, that's why I learnt that. You can be old, but you can also be stupid. Yeah. The whole old, wise man, no, it's a myth. They're just as dumb as when they were 13. So I stopped doing that and then started dating women, which was fun and also not fun at the

same time. I think people assume that when you're a woman and you date women, it's like super easy. It's not. It's like being a spy and you're also dating a spy. Yeah. Like you, they know. There's no getting away with stuff. There's no getting away with stuff. There's no getting away with stuff. My ex-cund would be oblivious of things. He just wouldn't notice or be aware of things. And I miss that. Yeah. I do miss that. I complete, I feel like if I was anyway, I'd have to know my best behavior. That's what it feels like. You couldn't like let it slip because you'd be like, oh yeah. This is like this is a woman here. You're not just like,

just some guy. Like, it's different. It's different. You have to be on your best behaviour. Which I appreciate and don't appreciate. When you're in a good place, it's great. When you're not in a good place, like I just wish I could just not try. Yeah.

But women deserve the effort. Yeah. Would you say you're quite a perfectionist? When it comes to relationships? I guess, yeah. I don't think I am. I like the idea of growing with someone. I like the idea of learning on the job.

I'm a very learning the job person. I also think you can be so unprepared for a relationship. that you can ruin a person's life. And I don't want to be that person. I don't want people to, I don't want them to hear my name and, like, have to turn away. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, what, explain that a little bit more. Because I feel like I know that, that feeling, but, like, somebody's like...

So evil. Oh. Like, okay, so I went out with this really... Oh, yeah. No, I don't. I'm so sweet. Sugar spice and everything nice. I had an ex in university, a French guy.

Am I obsessed with French people? Yeah. I'm seeing a... From the chat here. Okay, all right. Really hot French guy. And every time, this is so awful. I don't know why I put up with this.

Every time we'd sleep together after, he'd be like, oh, like, you're going to be so fit when you're older. But not in a way that's like, okay, right. Okay, so I'm not tripping, right? No, that's weird. I'm like, am I pretty? He'd be like, when you're older, you're going to be so beautiful. I beg a fucking pardon.

But it's also like why you don't want him to think you're young. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it feels weird that he's like, you're so young now, you're not older. Yes, you know what I mean? Like there's something weird about him. It's weird on so many levels. Yeah.

And then he'd compare me to George Smith and then I'd cry. And then once he came on my Moroccan rugs and that was really staid with me because he didn't offer for the dry cleaning. And I love those rugs. I can never look at them the same again. Oh, prick. He came on multiple rugs. He came across.

It's just the plural of rugs. Rugs. How big are these rugs? I had two rugs. And they kind of just slightly overlap. And I thought the audacity. Right in between. Right.

Right in between. Almost diagonally. And I thought, you fucking prick. Like, that must have been intentional. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That is rude.

I think so. I completely agree. Like, I think they should cover more things. Like, I think they should be more responsible for, like, their behaviour. It's like, you damage the rugs. You pay for the rugs. Yes. If you behave badly, you pay for my therapy.

Yeah. I hope they're listening. I hope they're listening right now. Yeah. Yes, agreed. My ex did actually pay for some of my therapy. Oh, my God. Wait, amazing.

Yeah. I've never heard when we were together. and like he, I needed it, you know? Good. As he should. I've never heard that before. Yeah. I just think I, we were both like,

the therapy is such like a, it's going to make both of our lives so much easier that it's like an investment. It was like, that came before like mortgage. Like in terms of the importance of therapy. I don't know. It's not important. Say it with me.

I'm a goddess. Well, I'm excited for you. Thank you. Do you think you will join apps? So you're like determined to stay in the real world. Let me sleep on it. Have you been on apps before? I have.

I've been on many an app. The last, okay, so this is the reason I stopped using apps. I went on it, one date, one day with a really, really lovely older woman. And she was nice, but there was just no connection, no spark, right? So I thought, okay, we can be friends. Every day for two weeks after she stalked me. And that put the fear of God in me in a way that I did. Because it didn't even cross my mind that that could happen,

which is quite naive of me now looking back, obviously. But that was enough to put the fear of God in me. And I thought, oh, yeah, there are actual weirdos on apps, I forgot. Yeah, but I think there's widows in life. That's the thing. It's just like, these are just the people from life, basically. But I think you're right. There's like, there's a lack of connection in an app.

Yes. You're like, you don't have any relationship to your life. There's no, like, oh, our friend in common, they wouldn't behave badly because the friend in common would be like, what are you doing? Yeah, there's a bit of accountability. Whereas maybe you can get a bit more unhinged, unhinged. Oh, that's well.

Wow. Let's develop an app right now. Let's develop an app. For the crazies. For the crazies. That's good. There's a market for that, I reckon. I think so.

And let's put them in there, please. You guys go in here. Oh, I'll have to join. That's sad. No, that's sad. I'll have to join. I'll have to join my own app with all the weirdos. You think I can stay in real range.

Because it's your app. Yeah. God, I would. I'd be put, if there was like a quiz or whatever about which one. You'd be one of the crazies? Can you guys? Can you go and hinge or do you have to go into unhinged? You're an unhinged for sure.

I guess I want to take this test for you choose. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, I just cheat. I made the test. I made the test. I know the answer. I still fail. I still fail.

God damn it. This is fun of that. very, like, self-confident and, like, show of yourself and, like, kind of advanced for your years or whatever. See, I feel the opposite. I feel like sometimes I'm stuck in a rested development and my kind of conchance for older people is almost, it's like me looking for a sense, which is for, is not great because you shouldn't put that on your partner. Should you?

You should do the work. Nice. Also, yeah. Mommy. Mommy, tell me what I need to do. It's hard. I'm too old to be acting like this. Oh my God.

What? Who said that? That was crazy. That was just like someone just came in the room and just, yeah, that was mad. Yeah, I'd to come back from that. That's the same. Have I taken the hat privileges? Actually something really funny is that audio was saying about is leading into the cringe. It just reminded me when you did that just for no reason.

just for no reason that just came into my head that was one of the topics that we were something we could talk about with you. Unrelated. It just popped it. Oh, God. Cringe manner for you. What do you mean by that? Lealing into the cringe? Everything's too curated nowadays.

I'm going to use clubbing as an example. I feel like when I first started going clubbing, everyone was messy as fuck and it was so fun and exciting and you were going out with no expectations and like £2.50 to your name and it was just all so exciting. And now I feel like there are phones everywhere which just ruins the vibe completely.

And people are, yeah, curated, which it feels inauthentic. And also, we are all cringe. There is not one person on earth. You can be the coolest fucking person on earth. Everyone does something that's like, ew. And if we all just submitted it, I think the world would be a better place.

I think it's so true. And it's a thing in my life that I think that's how you become successful is building up tolerance to being cringe. Exactly. It's things like posting online. Like when people start, posting, you're like, that's so, that's so embarrassing for them. It's so embarrassing for them.

But the more someone posts, it's like, it's, it's just a thing you just have to overcome it. And you just have to overcome the voice of people judging you, people thinking about it. And like, they will be. That is the truth that they will be. But they will be from their own homes. Exactly. And it's like, you can be very comfortable and uncringe and just like live your life. But actually, it's like more cringe to do that than to put yourself out there and try things and learn and grow. I completely agree. And I really agree with the going out club. Because when I used to start clubbing, people could smoke in clubs.

Like, it was crazy. It was amazing. And you'd come home covered in like what I would. In like a burns. Like what if your arms? You'd smell so bad. But at least the place would smell better than like then when they got the smoking ban in. Like then you'd go in and it would just like just smell a vomit.

Like it was like so bad. It was so much better when it just stunk of cigarettes. Yeah. Something chic about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I completely agree. I think that is the, it's like every photo is like so post. It's so post, so edited. And, ah, I think we're getting to a point now where people are getting tired and we're going back to basics.

We're going back to what we know, which is nice. But, like, I feel really sorry for the kids who are growing up in this generation. I cannot imagine growing up being so over scrutinized and, and, oh, I'm really horrible. I didn't hear of any counter arguments and I've started to hear of counter arguments, but the social media ban for like 9016. because in Australia they've put it in and I just think it has to be inevitable here. Like having a child and the thought of her growing up and having no safe space, like constantly being bombarded

and also the information she's going to come across and how she's going to think about how she's presented to the world. Like, let their brains develop a bit. Like give them a little bit of space. And of course they're going to flout it. Like somehow there's going to be like ways through. But we just got to stay ahead of it. I think so too.

A bit, a bit. A little bit. Yeah. And then be free. Let them be cringe for God. I just came up with that. I literally just wrote that right now. Sharon, you were staring me in the eyes where you did that.

Where did you want me to? It would have been worse when I was singing at the floor. You would have called the police on me. Section her. Is that something you do often? Burst into song? Yeah. Absolutely.

Yes. I love it. I do it on the bus. On the bus alone. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Without headphones or with headphones. Every time I get on the bus, every time I get off a bus, Every time I get off a bus, I will turn to the bus.

I say, have a great day. No, you won't. Pinky, promise you. I started doing it a couple of months ago. You turn, you get, Sharon. What the fuck? First of all, rejection therapy. Yes.

I feel so much less anxious now. But they're also... You're making it Ronell's anxious, though. That's why. Yeah, you're spreading your anxiety. Because they're like, why is that one person? If it touches one person, then I'm happy. No, look, I love it.

I'm saving lives. It's a, it's, I'm bamboozled by this. information. You wouldn't love it if you were on the bus and it's a Monday morning, you're hungover, you're tired, you've got so, you've got so much. And someone just went, have a great day, buy driver, cheers. You would have that's what you do as you get off the bus. I love it.

I absolutely love it. Start doing it with life. Does anyone respond ever? No, no one ever responded. I had to think about that. Yeah, no. Sometimes the driver will be like, he's like, yeah, okay, get off, get off the bus now. Okay, thank you.

But they don't have to. I like to think they're responding internally. Yeah. I... Try it. Absolutely not. I never... I cannot.

Try it once. I cannot. I definitely not when I was on my own. Like to have that like... You're never going to see these people again. I have no words. I have never going to see these people again. But so it is a regular thing on a bus.

Yeah. Where I live now, I have to get a bus to him from the station because it's quite far a walk. And every time... Every time they out sell. I love it. Do you do it on a tube? Not on a tube, no.

I haven't graduated. to that yet, but I'm getting close. I can feel my, I can feel something pouring out of me. This is really so much joy. I love this. Please try it once. Do you have other moves, or it's mainly the bus? The bus song. If I'm not in a sing-song mood, I'll just go, guys, I hope all your dreams come true. Have a great day.

Bye, Driver! And it just, it fills me with joy. Sometimes you have to do things for you. Yes, but that's so lovely. Because I, I will be honest, I've never seen that before. Ever. Ever. I've never seen it. Really?

And I'm an old gal. And I've never, I've never come across it. I mean, yes, there's crazy people on the bus a lot. You call him you a crazy joke. I never said, I never said, you were the crazy person. I said, I've come across crazy people speaking to themselves, doing a lot of things. But I've never heard somebody so earnestly wish everyone a good day. That's so lovely.

It's like a sprinkle. It is, though. Please try it. But you're spreading so much joy. I can't, I can't try it. But I love it for you and I want to see it. To the listeners, I hope you get to see this. I hope this finds you.

Would you like to send a message to the listeners? Listeners, have a great day. Seriously, I hope all your dreams come true. You're amazing, you're special, you're fabulous, you're talented, you're sexy, your hip, you're fricker, fric, and never forget who you are. I believe the children are the future.

And I just want to signpost it with a bit of Whitney Houston. That's my. Thank you. I love that. And seen, I'm actually a nasty cunt. Have you always been like this? Have you always like this as a child? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I kind of always marched to beat on my own drama bit. Yeah, that's wonderful. It's my mum. She's such a trailblazer. She was just, she was really instilled in me like, just be you.

As a mother, it's, I love hearing things like this. What was it, were there any specific things that she was doing that you felt like raised you in a way that you felt that you could be yourself? So I was bullied kind of when I was in second. school and a little bit in primary school. And just for little things, like I used to, I love a grandma chic, as you can tell by the hat. And I've always kind of dressed in a more kind of like vintage way. I used to get a bit of shit for it.

And I'd come home crying and my mom would be like, girl, shut the fuck up. Like, you're fabulous. Don't let these people project their own insecurities onto you. And just hearing that, like, it was the constant reinforcement of like, you are you, you are Sharon. You cannot be this person. You cannot be that person.

Why would you want to be that person anyway? And you're living your best life. Like this is, she's instilled in you something that has meant that you've like blossomed into this wonderful woman. I love that. I want everyone hearing this to, yeah, run through life like it's your own life. You can, because you can only be in competition with yourself. If you keep looking at what other people are doing, you're going to miss the path in front of you.

We're recording this on a Monday morning and I feel so inspired. Like, Mondays are usually not my day. Like, everyone's ways like Monday. So I'm like, it takes me a little while to ease into the week. But I have begun this week in the best way possible. You need to start like a Monday morning, like announcement for everybody. Just like a very brief, just like positive thing that people can wake up to. Like maybe you could do it on Instagram or something where you just give somebody,

just a little like pepping everyone's step. Righting this down. I will. I've loved having you here. Thank you so much for coming. Where can people see you and find you and get more Sharon apart from the bus? We can't. We can't tell them what bus route.

I hope it is the bus. You find the bus. But if not. You've got to try some buses. She's not going to advertise the bus. Pop one enough. Have a date bus. But you can advertise where she's doing stand-up comedy.

I can. So I've got a Soho run in May. You can find the tickets to that in the bio, my link bio on Instagram. I heard such good things about your show when I was in Edinburgh. Yeah. And I really wanted to see it. And I saw like nothing. I was there like three days, but I wanted to see it so much.

Yeah, so I really recommend what's it called? Shan Juan Joki, in the holes. So please come and see that. It's all about self-help and yeah, just kind of more of me being positive, I suppose. I'm trying to be positive. I love that. And so they can get tickets at Sohytheat. Yes, please follow me on Instagram for other day-to-day gig updates.

Shanwen Johi underscore. I'm also selling feetpicks. Wow. Good for you. I wish I was. I wish I was. I don't know. If someone hits me off, I can do two for 20, I guess, I suppose.

I haven't worked out the price. Wait, the two feet or two separate than the ones? Yeah, two of the feet. Two together. Both of the feet. So they come separately. Yeah, two for 20. One foot for 10?

Yes. Two for 15. One for 15 actually, so you're getting it for a steal. Wow. Right? Yeah. So hit me up. DM me and Instagram.

That's too cheap. I think that's too cheap. Yeah, but the market is so oversaturated. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes you have to supply and demand, you know. Yeah, and if you've just got a set stock of things. Exactly. You can say it's individual, but you're just sending them out.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, it's a good idea. I like you're thinking. Is this flirting? Oh my God. I love her. As I left, I said, I want to sing goodbye to you and have a good day.

And then she made me do it. And it sounded so bad. It sounded like I was like in an amateur dramatics production of like Pirates of Penzance or something. Like it was so, it was so humiliating. And then she just went off her day, like looking like like a ray of sunshine. But I love, I loved having her in and I loved hearing everything that she had to say. So do go see Sharon at Soho Theatre in May. I really want to see it.

I've heard wonderful things. And Amy will be back soon once she's finished filming a film that we will not name now, but has been a big franchise for many years. years and finally a woman is taking the helm to spread it around. Hello, single ladies. If you're a single lady and you're interested in meeting other single people who are really furious about the direction of the Labour Party and a contemplating voting green for the first time, then you might meet them in the audience at one of my tour shows. I'm Nish Kumar and my stand-up comedy show is called Angry Humour from a Really Nice Guy.

We're going to the UK and Ireland between September and November of 2006 and the tickets are of right now. I will, if requested, organize a dating service during the show. I would say if you're interested in meeting some very angry people, they will be at the show and they will be mad as hell. Tickets are available at nishkhamat.coma.coma.ukh. None of this is legally binding. You may not meet your life partner at one of Nishkama's tour shows.