Single Ladies In Your Area - Fertility And Egg Freezing Post Natal Issues And Perimenopause With Consultant Obstetrician Jess Mcmicking

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Having a uterus comes with so many ✨unique✨ challenges, and in this week’s episode Harriet and Amy discuss some of them with help from Consultant Obstetrician Jess McMicking! She helps answer questions like can you improve your fertility? What is the pelvic floor? And can’t we just take some zinc supplements and call it day?Single Ladies are recording a special LIVE edition of the podcast on Saturday 13 September as part of the London Podcast Festival! For tickets and information head to plosive.co.uk.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, this is Harriet Kemsley, and I'm very excited to be back on tour around the UK with my new show, Flusi. As listeners of the podcast will know, I am really trying my best to be a bit of a flusie, but it's not going particularly well. The dates are on sale now. It's going to be autumn 2026. For tickets and information, head to plosive.com.com. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there.

We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that.

This is Single Ladies in Your Area. And welcome to Single Ladies in Your Area. Today we're speaking about fertility. We are indeed and we've got an expert doctor in our studio. Jess McMickings is with us. Talk about women's health and how just brilliant and easy everything is for women. Yeah, just how nice it is being a lady. It's just a simple, nice life.

Yes. Oh, hey baby. Hey baby. This is a science episode bringing you single ladies in our area. Science. Yeah. We're doctors today. Yeah.

Doctors, we are, I want to be a consultant. Ooh, I want to be a butt doctor. You want to be a butt doctor? I don't. Okay. I don't. Okay. You do.

You do. You don't. You want to be a butt doctor. Do you know, I once slipped on some stairs in a nightclub and I hurt my coxics. And it was so bruised. I couldn't sit down. It was like excruciating and I went to a walking clinic like because after a few days I was like I can't deal with this. Went to a walking clinic and the doctor was literally the most attractive man that I've ever seen in my life.

And when he came in the room and he was going to, you know, it was like, what can I do with you today? I was like, part of my brain was like, just say nothing's wrong. Because I was like, I don't want to show you my fucking bruised ass. So I looked like shit. I didn't know you were going to look great. I would have dressed up. That's unfair. It was so unfair.

Yeah, that you just go in and you're like, I don't know. I guess we were just men of me today. Nothing wrong, I guess. I just got drawn to come here and now we're here. Enough about me. Tell me about your problems, baby. I didn't think when I was pregnant, your coxics can kind of move. And it went like underneath me.

And every time I sat down, it was like pressing on my coxics. It was so sore. So to sit and then you'd be like traveling to a gig or something I'd have to sit on like my left butt cheek and then my right butt cheek because it was like so under me because it like your whole body just moves. It's madness.

Wow. Talking of pregnancy. Yeah. What, you've got some news? I've got there's been an immacular conception. The first single lady's baby. No, it's something that I mean it's something that I think about, you know, like I did want another, I did want another baby.

After I had Mabel, I wanted another baby. But now that is not an easy thing. Sure. It was so interesting because before I had Mabel, I was so like, God, anyone that complains, if they have one baby, they should never complain about one of another because you have one. And then you have one and you're like, oh, but I want more. Of course. It's like you have one biscuit.

You want all the biscuits, you know? Well, that's the thing. I'd say it's, if you've had no biscuits, it's easier to carry on having no biscuits. If you've had one delicious biscuit, which was the best biscuit of your life, it would be so much harder to not have another one. I know. You've got the best biscuit. You've always showing me how cute biscuits are weird analogy. Because I've just seen other people eat biscuits. So I'm like, yeah, it looks pretty cool, but I could probably leave it because I haven't tasted that sweet, sweet. And they look a bit gross. When they're doing it, they look tired.

So what's your, what's your thinking with all this stuff? Well, yeah. So I don't know. I don't know. What I will say is, so I've been thinking about freezing my eyes. I've been thinking about it for about six months. And I think I am, I'm definitely considering it. But I know that, or at least I've heard if you freeze it with sperm in it. That's, I don't know any of the terminology. Then it can be better.

And so about two weeks ago, I can't remember where I'd been. I'd been somewhere and had a really good time. And then was in a car travelling through London. Oh, no, you asked your Uber driver. I was like, I'll give you five stars and a three pound tip. If you're just in my hand, just a little cup of it. I remember being like, oh, I want, I don't know what. I think it was because I was like, oh, I've had such a great time.

But I feel, I still feel like I'm missing something. And at that point in that car, I was like, it's a baby. So I sent my friend, a male friend, a message. I need to know who this is immediately as the podcast finishes. because whether you should go through with this depends very much on what friend we're talking about. Well, I'm not going to go through with it because I sent him a message.

And it was maybe like, I don't know, it was like late at night, but it wasn't crazy late. So maybe it was like 10. Yeah, it's not a morning message, that's for sure. It's not 8am. Hello, just doing my admin. Just wondered. And I sent him a message saying,

are you around right now? Messing me if you're around right now. Oh my God, Amy, if either way you live sometimes so stressful. It's so fun and in the moment. I wish I could be more in the moment like this. Because it makes bad decisions happen. And I thought, if he responds right now, I'm going to ask him if he'll come in a cup. But he didn't respond until maybe like the next morning.

Mood's passed. Moots passed. And he's like, what was this about? And I was like, nothing. And he's like, what are you talking about? And I was like, the universe didn't want it to happen. And then he was like, oh my God. So he doesn't know about this?

No. But he does listen to this. If you want to be a daddy, it does. I just thought, I could still be like a single parent, but I think he'd be like a really great dad. But he wouldn't have to be the dad.

Yeah, I don't know. But then the mood pass and I, I feel completely differently. It's kind of the way that I've done it like back to front is that, yeah, like Bobby's a great dad and he's a good co-parent. and it's like I would have probably not gone into it imagining that this was the scenario.

I had to go into it knowing that I was getting married and it was going to be forever and it was this. But then actually like this is great. So I wonder if there is a way of getting rid of that and thinking about that. Like that actually would have been a better way of thinking about it. Well, I wonder if maybe in the future it will become more common to like you find a romantic partner

or slash and you find someone to co-parent with. Yeah. Because it's like there's loads of people I want to fuck and maybe spend loads of time with. But I know that I wouldn't want to have them as the father to a child. This is it. Someone asked me recently like if I wanted to have more kids and I do. Like I would love that. But if it was to be with a male partner, it would depend on the partner.

Like there are men in my life that I would have a child with and there are men in my life that I wouldn't. It's just because I know what it is. Yeah. And I think that you could love somebody and still think, this is not going to be a nice life. Yeah. You're raising a child with you. Like, because once you know what it is,

you can't imagine, you know what it is and you know what is needed. And if they don't have that, get up and go, then they're not going to be the person that you're going to want to do it with. Would you have another child without a male partner? Well, that's something that I've definitely thought about. And I don't. It's just a tricky thing with, like, like, do you freeze the eggs?

And then if you meet someone, like, you just don't know what's going to happen. Like, I don't know. I can meet someone younger that really wants kids. And you just don't know. But doing it on my own, I don't, I do think about it because I think about a sibling for Mabel. Like, she's killing it. But, you know, like sometimes you think maybe that would be nice for her. And I actually really love babies now.

I didn't even know I like babies. I didn't know any. And now I know loads of babies. I love them. Wasn't hanging around the baby scene. Yeah, I just wasn't hanging around the baby. Yeah. Now I'm really in the baby scene.

You're going to kill her on the baby scene right now. I do think about adopting when she's a bit older. Oh, wow. So, yeah, I don't really know what the future looks like, but it feels like what's scary is, it feels like you need to know the future now because the future is the gate. The gate is closing on the future,

and we're just kind of like, we're not running towards it. We're kind of going like, did, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, and then it's just shutting in the distance. But I guess that gate is only shutting on one potential option of motherhood. It's shutting on a biological, natural thing. Whereas then you've got your egg freezing, your embryo freezing,

then you've also got surrogacy, then you've also got adoption of fostering. So it's like the gate shutting, I think, used to be like a terrifying, dark, foreboding thing. And now it's like, I imagine this big metal gate shutting. But then there's like a side door next week, which you just open and go through. And that's like adopting or whatever, you know.

And it's like, okay. So it's, you know, the future's coming. It's just, it's like so, it's all just so difficult and complicated. And like, before I had Mabel, like, I just was like, I don't even know if I'll be a good parent. Like, it feels like such a risk. I don't know, like, if I'll, and then I had me when I was like, this is the best.

And I thought I needed to have a biological child. And then now I'm like, oh, no, like, I love all kids. Like, all kids are great. But I don't know why I had to, like, go through that process to kind of, understand it maybe. What's so hard does you have to experience so much of it

in order to know? That's so hard. Because I'm not a parent the only thing I can compare this to which is so shit compared to being a parent but I'm like yeah when I chose my Gs as these subjects

I think I would have chosen better if I'd have like already done so yes it's so I know exactly what you mean. So I guess what I'm saying is I can empathise with you as a mother Yeah. Speaking as mothers But you know what I mean?

It's like you kind of need to do stuff to know if you can do it and you can't sort of practice having a baby. You kind of just have to do it. The thing I hate the most about it is just the amount of time and effort that goes into the thoughts about it. Like I think this is bad advice. I know that. But sometimes I think, oh, just fuck it.

If you think you're thinking about having a baby, just fucking have a baby because then you're just spending less time thinking about it. You're just getting on with it. You know what I mean? Like so much of my life was spent wondering when I should do it. And then you're like, oh no but you just get on with it once it's happened. I just thought about it all the time and then I was like,

oh now at least you're not thinking about it. You're just like you're too busy. Too tired. Yeah, you're too tired thinking about like actual things. Like it's an action thing, you know? Like the thinking, that's our enemy is. Women's enemy is the thinking. Like stop thinking.

God, could somebody just switch these brains off? They probably thought about that. No, they've done that in the bus. So let's not. It's good to have our brains. But I think we need to talk to one. We need it. We are really, this is more than ever. Yeah.

Yeah. We've got the brilliant Jess Mick Micking. Yes, we do. Who is a doctor. Has I heard of it? I've heard of butt doctors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's kind of like what you want to be, but deals with women's health rather than just butts. Yeah, great, okay.

Sexy, sexy, but bucks. Roses are red, violets are blue. We've matched on and up. What you up to? Hello. Hello. Well, we are very lucky to be joined in the studio by Jess McMicking. Did I get it? You did.

Thank you. Take that, Jessie were. I think normally we sort of introduce what I guess to do. I think on this occasion, if I can speak with you, Harriet. Please, can we hand it over to you? It would your best to suggest to explain. Yeah, so thank you. Thank you so much for having me today. So I'm an obstetrician in London. Sorry, quick question. I know what

London is. What is obstetrician? What is obstetrician? Yeah, sure. So an obstetrician is a specialist. So obviously we've trained in general medicine, but we've gone on to specialize in pregnancy and postnatal care. So primarily what my day or week could look like. I deliver babies. I do normal deliveries. I do cesarean sections. We run antinatal clinics. I see women postnatal. I see women post-a natally, you name it, in that period, we could be involved in your care. I work both in the NHS but also privately in London. So to give you an insight into us, so we are single ladies in our 30s. Harriet has a wonderful child already. I do not have any children and I'm at the age where I'm kind of like, oh God, that clack is ticking, isn't it? And I don't know, to be honest, how I how I, how I

feel about it. Some days I wake up and I think I have to be a mother and it has to be today. Some days I wake up and think I never want children. Some days I wake up and think I definitely want to adopt. And some days I wake up and think, no, I'm going to have them no matter what. And I'm going to freeze my eggs. Basically, I'm in a pickle and I don't know where I am. But I know that freezing my eggs is an option. But I don't know anything about it. I don't know how long it takes. If it's remotely worth doing, if it's successful, if it's recommended. So, yeah, so if you could just answer all of my questions. I'll do it today.

It's okay. Oh, brilliant. Great. We could do it live on the board. Yeah, so I used to do gynecology. So I know enough to obviously be able to give you a blanket of information. We see, is it my area of expertise? That's my little disclaimer. Look, I think if we did an honest, like, sort of aerial view of London right now, you're not the only one. And I think that that is actually what's so nice about where you are at in your life right now. We have choices. And this has become, you know, I don't necessarily love the term. And please forgive me, whoever invented the term, social egg freezing.

I think it brings connotations which aren't necessarily. So it just means women who have chosen or elected to have their eggs frozen for their own reasons. Personal reasons. So I don't really know why we throw the word social in because I don't think it's like going to a social party. Yeah, for sure. But this is what the term is used most commonly. So basically, yeah, you are right. Women have a choice and it's a growing area for that very reason.

You know, we have companies now. I know companies that definitely exist in London where actually their employees are offered it under the company policy. Really? Yeah. To provide you with that fertility freedom. How likely is it, though, that it works? Like how much of an insurance policy is it? It doesn't come with its insurance policy.

I think that's the biggest message is that it's not going to guarantee you that child or baby. It can't. It's a process. What we know, though, is that, you know, you, as you've mentioned, you're in your 30s. This is actually the prime time probably to do it if that's when you're going to do it. And the reason we say that is we know with age, sadly, our eggs or the quality of the egg may decline. So if you're someone who's looking to do it in your 40s, you're going to have to get out a lot more eggs to get that same success rate as someone in their 30s. So they'll need to collect a lot more.

And that still, it may be that that egg quality is lesser. So there's sort of steps along the way where, you know, your numbers, you know, they might collect 20, but it goes down and down. Like, you know, with the steps that are involved, that pool that they got initially will keep decreasing. Is there a world then where, so if you're in your 20s, should you just, and you have the cash, would you just freeze your eggs? Is that crazy? It's not crazy at all. I think because of this sort of dilemma, you know, whether we call it, there's a little bit of ethicalness about it. As a 20-year-old, I don't know if I would have been right making those decisions, you know, entering that fertility journey, receiving those medications.

I certainly did not have the cash. Yes. But I think you bring up a good point that actually there are, you know, 20-year-olds that would be in that position where, yeah, maybe that is their time. But also, I think as a 20-year-old, you do sort of think that that day that you want to meet your partner of the future is just around the corner. You know, you're living in Cinderella world still. Yeah. Yeah. I think...

Idiot. But, but interestingly, if you're getting donor eggs, a lot of them are in their 20s. Interesting. If you want to sell your eggs, that's a good time. That's because, yeah, a lot of the donors are the young ones. But you are right. I mean, yeah, there's no right or wrong answer for doing that in your 20s. Okay.

Some of the statistics about it working seem very low. Like, I think I've seen, I don't know at all what it's true, what it's not, but I've seen places that like the chances of it working are like 15% or something. What is the real answer to that? I think each clinic has their own numbers. It's really interesting across the fertility clinics. Look, we have this general sort of consensus that you're aiming hopefully for something between, you know, 50, 75% success.

But actually to get that, sometimes they say, you know, if you're in your 40s, you need to collect 60 eggs to get that number. Like, it's dependent on that situation, that scenario. Also, we've got to remember that age is one number on the page. It actually is down to that woman, her health. you know, a lot of other factors are involved with that to get her own number. It's not a simple algorithm that we want it to be. It's like, okay, well, yeah, your age is this,

but actually when we went in and we checked your ovarian reserve, unfortunately, even though you're this old, you've got like actually not much there. Everyone is very, very different. And that can be influenced by a range of different things, which is unfair, but that's all part of being a woman. It's so difficult because that 15% is, It sounds so low, but you think it's higher than that.

You would want it to be higher than that if you went into that process. I think it'd be interesting, though, okay, they said 15%, but what did that actually mean? Was it just doing one cycle of egg collection? And how many eggs did they sort of expect to get in that cycle to get that 15% value? You know, I've had friends, colleagues, family member who's undergone this process. And it's really interesting across that. Everyone's different ages, different backgrounds, and what they got at, end, some matched the statistics, some went better, some, you know, and I can probably talk about

it because I know this person won't kill me and will speak to me again, but my sister when she did it, she, like, her number was very low. But interestingly, she reflects and there was so much going on in her life at that time. And she actually, she should have hit the success rate. You know, she should have been that person that hit that number, but there was stress. There was a lot of other things going on. And I think that's interesting, you know, it's so influential on our body and our natural processes. It's just hard when it's seen as an insurance policy when it's, like, that's what I find difficult with it that people are like, oh, if I do this then I can stop worrying about it.

But if it's actually not an insurance policy. Yeah, it might just be another role at the dice rather than, yeah. Amy, we've got to get out there. So when you said about your sister having a lot going on in her life and that affected the results that she got. What can impact that, so we're talking stress? Yeah, pure stress. Stress can impact your fertility.

Yeah. Uh-oh. Oh, oh, oh, you got to go back on holiday, Amy. Yeah, I need to go. It's like if you think about it, you know, going off the sort of spectrum of fertility, but in your menstrual cycles, if you've ever been stressed or you've either put on a lot of weight or lost a lot of weight because of lifestyle changes, that can actually impact that. So it's similar. You know, that's our body.

our cycle. You hear about women who, free wedding, they lose a lot of weight for their own reasons and actually their cycles disappear. That's almost like a physical stress on the body and therefore the body then switched off its ovulatory cycle. So yeah, our body is super sensitive to that. It could be that you got really sick and maybe that then caused that physical stress like COVID, things like that. You read about some people have experienced infatility in that time, but they were quite sick with COVID. So I think there's so many different factors that go into like what we look like on paper. It's very hard and it's an inherently stressful thing. Yeah. I just don't get stressed. You know, you're like, I'm really stressed with spending a lot of money on it. Yeah. Here's your big needles.

Stay calm. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Do you think most companies are reputable? Because you hear of things of people promising things or people can spend a lot of money, I think, on something where they don't get the results that they want. Are there things to look out for? Having patients who've gone through fertility, I know there's, as you said, there's, there's a lot of different companies out there. I think it's really important that you do your research on where you're going first, whether that's your reading reviews. Some might offer an introductory call as well, which can be sometimes really handy or knowing first or second hand who's gone somewhere were they happy?

Because what you're doing is you want to work alongside a group of clinicians that actually support you. You feel comfortable. It feels less stressful. And also take the time to explain things, especially if you're putting a lot into this. You know, you've made a big decision. You want to reap the rewards of it too. And they do as well.

You're becoming part of their success. And you've got to match that accordingly. And we know, you know, simply we go to buy a car, one car salesman will treat us differently to the other car saleswoman potentially. You just don't know, but you've got to find what matches. It's like a jigsaw puzzle. It's all got to fit together. Harriet, have you been personally burnt by a company?

Because I feel like, some people say, 50%. And they're all looking at you. I find the whole thing very difficult, I think, because I think women have fed a lot of, first of all, there's a lot of scare stories, but then also I think they're fed a lot of false stories. And so I think I just really want to understand it because I know so many friends that the whole thing just feels like very confusing. And it's hard to get a clear answer, I think, about it. That's what I find hard about it. And I think, you know, the statistic going back to that, actually we've forgotten a bit of the elephant in the room as well.

That actually it's not just the egg at the end that gets you that baby. It's whether you're going down the pathway of donor sperm or sperm of someone else that you know or your partner with. That actually impacts that success as well at the end of the day of that embryo too. And as we said, it's like there's a lot on that plate. One of the things they say is that if you freeze the egg with the sperm to make an embryo, that then the chances are like double basically. Is that true? These days they say it's not that much more successful.

Okay. But also remember where we're at in this particular day, discussion is that, not to sort of drum down on you both, but single ladies. So actually, are you ready to make that plunge into forming that embryo at this point in time? We're thinking about, oh my God, well, who is that other half going to be? What does that look like? Will I change my mind? And then it's too late. And then I'll be forced to use, you know, that, that's actually a big part of the conversation. So it's amazing how far we've come along in just five, 10 years in the fertility world. You know, they used to say fresh eggs is better than frozen eggs, but actually now

the success is quite similar. So frozen used to be thought of as, oh, it's actually not as good. But actually their success, like the technology, the way they do it now, it's not inferior to frozen embryos. You know, we're getting up there. We're allowing women to do this. And actually, at the end of the day, we're hoping that yes, it does equal that success. But it's not as inferior to the frozen emberies what it used to be. It's like bluebres. I was going to say it's like frozen. They say frozen blueberries are actually almost better for you than fresh.

So there you go. You miss that one. Science, in science. Oh, is message back? It's not good. So a friend of mine, she went to go get checked to have like a checkup and she found out that she was in early menopause. And so she encouraged like all of us friends to go and have fertility kind of checkup.

Is that something that you recommend if people aren't quite at the stage of egg freezing? Well, it's the first step, I feel, because actually if you have that fertility check-up with a specialist, they are really going to be really honest with you. And that's actually the opportunity where you ask, you know, hang on, actually, where am I? What does that look like? What would be your thoughts? You've seen this, you know, I'm actually thinking about X, Y, and Z. And they might be like, actually, they're not going to just push you down that pathway.

They're probably going to give you a very well-balanced, honest, and say, actually, from what I seen today and your early 30s, no, just take it easy. Because also, we know that if you can do it naturally, obviously, that's the better end of the spectrum. But obviously, all there's reasons why we might encourage it if that's something that you want to do in the case of your friend potentially. So seeing a fertility specialist that actually knows what they're talking about is they're going to give you a really honest answer. Absolutely. That's what you should be doing first. And that could be something that you do at the fertility clinic

or there might be fertility specialists that work outside of fertility clinic, but they are specialised in that area. And they'll provide you with that summary of you, which is important. You know, you are going to be different to the next person in the waiting room. So you want to know what do I look like in that fertility sort of tree. That's great. And do you think you can fertility improve? So say you went in.

And they were like, your fertility is this. And then you were like, okay. And then what if I became less stressed and healthier? And can it boost or can it only get worse? Yeah, it's a difficult one. Because if that's why was not positive, I will say. Okay, okay. I know you're going to hold me to this one.

It'll be one day and walking down the street or something. Just. throw it out my head or something. Look, I think it depends on what they feel is the concerning bit, you know. Like if they said, you know, this is what's going on. I think if you tweak these things, yes, you know, like for some people, someone might not be as healthy or stress. They've just got an irregular cycle.

That's something they could work on. If someone's sort of into possibly like premature, very insufficiently, it might be a little bit harder to reverse that, that physiological process. that's going on in their body. Yeah. But there might be ways to quickly help them have that security blanket or provide them with an option to collect eggs quickly. So I think it comes down to what it is.

It's all the individual. Yeah, it's the individual. Sorry, that's really not a very good answer. No, that's good. Some of the places that I looked at, one of the metrics that they go on is they, as in if they will freeze your eggs, is your BMI. and I couldn't work out what that had to do with anything.

But is that just in terms of, are they looking at that as a sort of blanket, I think maybe unhelpful sort of metric for measuring health? Yeah, so I mean, body mass index is an unfair way of measuring someone's health. Once again, it is a bit of a number. But it gives, obviously, it uses height and weight. Yeah.

What we're cautious with with body mass index is if it's really high complications can occur. There might be difficulty accessing the, ovary with the equipment or sometimes women of higher BMI might carry then diabetes or something like that. But at the

end of the day it will be taken into context of everything else. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well there was a lot of places that where it wasn't a factor. Yeah. So then I was sort of intrigued why, but I guess maybe if it's them filtering for the healthiest on paper ladies, I don't know.

I think it's an interesting one because I think Yeah, it will get taken into account. As you said, there's a lot that will offer there. And, you know, it might not necessarily be something that will, you know, be an obstacle. No. But they'll just explain what does it mean in that second stance. Okay. And could you tell us, just walk us through the steps of, like, what actually happens?

Because I don't, I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll freeze my eggs. I presume you get them out with, like, a spatula, whack him in a freezer and that's, that, that's done. In a little egg cup? I don't know. What's the... Bottomless brunch? Yeah. We all have a bit of a second.

There's music playing. It is unfair. Do you think about the males, they can do that, literally. It's at the pub guys going out the bat. Take my magazine. Yeah, so no women don't try it out there. It is not something you can do at home. But what happens is they, what they're needing to do is stimulate your cycle

so that they can then collect those eggs. And the way they'll stimulate your cycle, is to give you hormones typically to get that body going. There might be additional things that that clinic feels, so they might have you on supplements. They might have detected in that process. You have underactive thyroid or things like that. So they'll sort of say, this is my recipe for you.

You're going to go on this medication for all these reasons I've listed. Let's collect your eggs after the stimulation. And then once the eggs are collected, they obviously then undergo the assessment, the freezing period, they go into the bank and then when it's time to be used in whatever scenario that looks like they're de-frosted and then they're fertilised and then placed in whoever it is then will be carrying that pregnancy. Right.

But it can be a hormonal kind of journey. It's a hormonal journey and I think, you know, some women tolerate it really well. They're like, oh, that was a walk in the park. Other women go, oh my God, like that, I had to go, you know, fly a little bit under the radar for a week or two weeks. Things also can happen. You know, if they're stimulating your ovaries, sometimes your ovaries can become overstimulated.

So you might become quite unwell with a condition we called hypostimulation syndrome. Obviously it's rare, but, you know, that is one of the risks. How you tolerate it, look, it's hard because it will depend on what dosages they're using as well. Everything's very much tweaked again to you as that individual. Yeah. And so you might have to do more than one cycle, perhaps.

Yeah, exactly. So often it can be an option if what was collected or what was the outcome wasn't, you know, whatever I'm wanted. So you might be like, oh, hang on, that doesn't feel enough because I know that the numbers decline and I'm nervous. They might say, okay, let's give it another go. Obviously, there'll be a time period between those goes because they don't want to just keep your body going in that sort of zone.

And so, yep, you can have it repeated, definitely. Sometimes they might say, actually, you know what, if that was me, I'd be quite happy with what that was the outcome. And so that's, once again, it's that fertility clinic. It's getting to know them what your priorities are, that honest chat. And so then you trust what they're saying in those scenarios. And so when you're getting the hormones and things like that, are you just carrying on, if it doesn't affect too much,

you're just going to work, just carrying on as normal, just pumped full of, pumped full of goodness. All sorts of stuff. The good thing I mean, we know, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's natural sort of, I guess, you know, sidekicks in a way. Yes, it's artificial, but it's mimicking our natural processes. You definitely can go to work, obviously, on the day of egg collection, probably you might want to be at home that day. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I guess, you know, if you're somebody who got a migraine

or something like that, you might take the old day of work off. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah. And then you have to inject yourself. Yes. I had, um, someone come to my show and they needed to inject, And so the theatre was so good and they gave them like a room to like go and do it. But I think that is a thing you have to think about as well. Like you have to you have to do that kind of is it like for once, is it over a week period? Usually. Yes. And look, that's the nice thing to hear is like society so accepting of that.

You know, now it's like, oh yeah, fine. Yeah, you know, here's your room. You can, you know, fly still or travel, you know, with the medications like the inject. You know, like that's the other thing. I mean, obviously your fertility doctor will guide you whether they think. I think going abroad in the lead-up is a good idea. I'll leave that to them. But obviously, if you had to you for some sort of reason.

Harriet, I've put a dog with tits on my profile. I do have, it's controlled now, thankfully, but I have PMDD, which obviously means I'm very reactive to changes in hormones. And I wonder if that would mean that it might F me right up for a few weeks. Do you know anyone who's experienced anything like that? To be honest, I don't think I'm the person to answer. I'm definitely not the expert. When I left gynaecology, it was just coming into vogue.

So I will not try to answer your question. But I mean, I think with obviously what you're doing is weighing up the pros and the cons. So you're like, look, I know I've got this condition, but I really want this. What am I willing to potentially deal with? Yeah. I have a polycystic over is and I was told when I was like 23 that it was going to be really hard to have children and that was something that I thought about I think daily since I had that conversation and then I was incredibly lucky that when it came to it that it was okay and I had a really good specialist who gave me met for men and some other things and it kind of it was a thing that played on my mind I was so anxious about it. Do you have an advice for anyone with politicistic overers? I mean I think yeah with policies events and

100% what you're saying, it resonates with me from a lot of patients. Like you just, you Google it and fertility is probably in its first line or something like issues. But I sort of say to women, look, if I was going to pick one that like interfered with my fertility, I'm probably going to put my hand up to that. Because as you said, you know, it's meeting the right doctor that put you on the right medication. You were then on your pathway. It's actually one of those easier ones.

Because a friend did you. reduce more eggs maybe and so it is in some ways it can be helpful something like that yeah like you've got more like science you've got something like what I said but like science yeah yeah yeah yeah once again people will be listening to what is going on with yes look yeah you have more immature follicles okay in your ovaries yes correct ha ha immature immatural it all makes science but but I think like interestingly PCOS I'm not talking about everyone PCOS, but like I think it's one of those fertility issues that actually it's probably like the easier one to correct or get you more positive outcomes than some of the other ones.

Exactly. In some ways it's made out to be that it isn't and it can be very hard for some people, but it's, it is manageable for many. And you can get, you know, that ending you want easier than others. Great. You know, it's one of those ones, as I said, I'd probably be like, oh, that's the one I want. If there's going to be one, like this is all the types, I'll have that one. Yeah.

But don't get me wrong, that doesn't take away from, you know, what some people might go through. Yeah. Yeah. And so in your sort of day-to-day work, because obviously you deal with women's health sort of generally, is there anything where you wish more women knew something or there was like a help, like you wish more women were taking zinc or something? Is there anything when you're like, oh, if only women would take zinc? That seems like something someone.

When you say that, though, this is the point of thing that comes from my head very Australian, is that zinc sun's on screen? I'm like, oh, okay. Once again, I'm in the UK, the sun never shines. But that's what I'm thinking of my head going, right. Definitely not on my list. Look, if you can take care of your body, aim to, you know, be of a stable way, you know, not go through fluctuations, eat really well, try and include exercise. Don't get me wrong. I'm probably the worst person at trying to do that as well. But, you know, if you're, say, vegetarian, we'll make sure that you're getting your eye in. If you're planning on conceiving naturally, put yourself on a multivitamin or that folic acid or things like that. I think all of that actually, this basic stuff. Like, if we get that right, we're actually setting ourselves up, you know, metabolically, but physically for actually, you know, our lives, really.

You know, I think it's funny, like, and this is sort of the obstetrician to me, but when I see a woman come in, she's pregnant in her late 40s. obviously I don't necessarily need to go down to how she got there. But actually on paper, once again, it's just that age. And they can be, like, fitter than any of us. They have no medical problems. They've eaten really well. They've taken care of their life. And actually, they're probably like, if they did all the, like, tests at the doctor,

they might be much better than someone who's in their late 20s and, you know, is doing a far different sort of day-to-day, you know, activity. So I think we probably, we forget that the basics actually set us up quite well. I did not want to hear that, Jess. I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be zinc. Or just, you know, eat that bagel once a week. Yes.

Yes, thank you. Thank you. Do you think doing a headstand after sex if you want to get pregnant is good or bad? Oh my God. Right. Can I ask, what's the rationale? Well, if you want, if you want, when it get pregnant, then it goes gravity.

Oh, is gravity a real thing? Well, not is gravity a real thing? Yeah. This is science. We've got you in. So yes on our answer. Is gravity real? I will admit.

And I mean, I hope my other half never listens to this podcast or my sister. But if I remember, like, yeah, I did a bit of that, not headstand. A bit of hips up. Hips up. Hips up. Yeah. Interesting. There you go.

too. Yeah. Yeah. But I can't do headstands so I was like, I can't do that. Oh, just pillows under. Under. But I did the gravity thing.

There you go. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. What else is out there? It really blew my mind realizing what a small window that you can get pregnant in.

I spent all of my teenage and my 20s convinced I could get pregnant at any single time and actually just the tiny window. It's basically only a, a few days, really a month that you can. Yeah, it's unfortunate. Like, our bodies are not that kind on us.

Like, when we think about it, you know, it's horrible. And for that reason, you know, we say, yes, day 14, that's ovulation. But actually it's not necessarily true for all women. Hence why, you know, you have these clear blue. Yeah, I found the egg thing the most helpful. What? There's this, you have a discharge when you are ovulating. So you have to look out for this.

Sorry, is this too sexy? I'm sorry, sexy. I would love that one. If my future boyfriend is listening, I'm at that one here pro-off. But no, most women have this egg type discharge when they are ovulating. And that is the point when you need to get it going.

Right. Gosh, it must be hard to be like, oh, there's egg yolk. Come on, come on, have sex with me. It's now it's egg yoke day. Why, I don't want to go anywhere near you. It's now. That is true, though, isn't it?

That's it. And they illustrate, I don't even see, like, it's a smiley face. You know, like, go, go, go, guys. You got the smiley face today on your stick. Yeah. Call that husband or partner or whoever it is home, yeah. But is there any other signs? That is one of the signs.

So your body temperature as well. So a lot of the, um, because you get a little boost in temperature. You get a little boost in temperature. Some women get like a peasant. when they ovulate. Yes, you might think, oh, is that too late that, you know, they've ovulated, but actually, I mean, if sperm, you know, they actually stick around alive for a little bit. So the thing is if you, sometimes if you do it just before you got that smiley face, they're there ready. If you do it just after, they're probably going to get there, you know, the strong swimmers.

Yeah. But you can do it like that. Yeah. So there's different sort of modalities to tell. Yeah. Do you think the apps are helpful? Like I use flow. what they're doing is they're formulating you. They're predicting from the information you give them and they're coming up with what they predict. And I think, you know what? Actually, I mean, I've heard of a few flow babies. Oh, wow.

Yeah, definitely. I'm going to call my baby egg yoke. Little baby egg yolk. But I think they're all coming up with what they think is your formula. And, you know, like, it's safe to use. It's another tool for you to. actually get that timing right? Yeah, I say go for it. Uh-oh, it looks like I've met a turtle again. And do you have any advice for women that have had a baby? I know women that are maybe struggling

afterwards with pelvic floors and things like that. Like, do you have any advice in general for women that have that problem after a baby? Yeah, you need a whole podcast session on that. Look, I think the first step with pelvic floor is, well, one, fortunately now we have experts in that field, you know, and we can talk about it very openly. It's so nice you don't have to suffer in silence because pelvic floor like, you know, looking around the room, we're all going to live to over 100. So you need that pelvic floor working. Can I just ask what the pelvic floor is? So it's like the... I've heard of it a lot.

Just thinking about it. And I know it's, you can do pelvic floor exercises, but I don't really know if I'm honest what it is. It's like a shelf of muscles. So it's sort of like, it's like that. Yeah, it's like there. And it's like lifting us up. So women with weak pelvic floors can have, you know,

potentially that whether it's pelvic organ prolapse, leakage of urine, you know, involuntary, you know, feeling just different down below. Yeah, there's a whole different ways things can feel different. Intercourse might feel different, that type of thing. So why you want to strengthen it is you're strengthening the way it's holding all of our organs in our body

Oh wow You lift up you know and like you sort of I don't know if you do I just do pelvic flow exercise But when you do them you sort of almost like Get better posture as you do it Right yeah yeah yeah yeah I presume we're all doing them Yeah yeah yeah yeah we're all just

bouncing up and down And I was like Oh Oh oh got to go I'm tall up But I think that Why after childbirth obviously pregnancy, but also in addition, if you have a natural or vaginal delivery,

it can weaken it because it's that pressure on it. Pregnancy alone can cause that pressure, but obviously the birth of the baby can as well in different scenarios. So the biggest thing is knowing you're not alone, but second of what is getting the right help. And so we have a pelvic health physiotherapist. They're very expert in that field. They do an assessment that's really thorough, like hands in there,

feeling what's what's going on. What feels different. Fun. I don't know if people can see her email now, but I was not like. I thought it was so funny, but I would have one after my pregnancy. Oh yeah. It was like, whew. And I was, I didn't, I was naive.

I shouldn't have been naive. Wow. But, you know, maybe it's just where I went to. But, you know, they get in there. They're really checking. Yeah. Okay. So you walk out going, oh, I know what's going on.

Wow. What do you think about these machines now? Because I know that there's certain machines that say that they can tighten it or do the things that they need to. Oh, I think I know what you mean. Yes, there's sort of laser machines or things like that that that can tighten tissue. I'm once again not the expert in that. But I've seen them around. I guess if you're drawn to that, it's finding the expert in the area and finding out what do they do.

How does it differ? because obviously the traditional way of, you know, pelvic health physiotherapy is exercises, really specialised pelvic floor. Like I know, you know, we kind of know what they're like, but they sort of talk you through them or other sort of exercises you can do to strengthen it. And obviously then, pending on how that goes, it's what is the next step if you've got bigger issues that are not improving. But everyone should be doing pelvic floor exercises.

Technically, I mean, you know, this is a thing. There's lots of things in life that we need to do. Yes, you should be. Eat healthy and do exercise, apparently, and have multivitamins. I mean, the pelvic floor in particular, if you're pregnant, yes, you should be doing it. Okay. You know, if you're not quite there yet, I wouldn't be worried if you're doing Pilates yoga, you know, generally you're working your body to strengthen it.

It's amazing. In a Pilates class, without realizing it, you're actually doing pelvic floor exercises. Really? Yes, yeah, they're sneaky, those teachers. That is sneaky. He's got a sad image of you getting home and throwing all your zinc and down the toilet. Forget it. Just put bottles and bottles.

She's going to write to that copy. How dare you? You sort of be a 10-year subscription. Is this flirting? So I feel like we've done sort of chronologically what we can go through. So I think it may be good to end talking a little bit about what's coming for us. It's coming for us, Harriet, the menopause and the premenopause. Oh, God.

We're really jumping. I'm thinking they're gone now. Well, really, we need to know what's on the horizon for us. What are the first signs for women to look out for that they're entering the perimenopause? Yeah, so it is a transition because, you know, if you look at what is the definition of menopause, it's like, well, actually, you've hit that point now. You've lost your periods for a certain time or you've had symptoms. But the transition, once again, to confuse everyone, it can look differently in every women.

typically you'll either potentially your menstrual cycles might become irregular, different to what they were. They're just not the same as what they usually are. Typically, they'll space out so they become less frequent in that time. They might become lighter, but I've heard some women become heavier, but they sort of change from your usual characteristics. In addition, you might have the symptoms we characterize with that change in hormone. So most commonly, hot flushes, the vasemot motor.

symptoms, you can get mood irritability. You might feel really dry down below in your vaginal region because the estrogen levels are sort of decreasing. Look, there are so many different. Some people's skin changes, their metabolic changes might occur too. So you see a whole spectrum. Are there any nice ones? Yeah, tell us some nice ones.

I mean that we can look forward to that's nice. Like, like you. Cake tastes better. Yeah, cake tastes better. Orgasms are longer. Like, what do we? That sleep is really good. Sleep is nice.

I mean, um, look, holidays might feel nice. Okay. What do you want me to say? Quickly scumb it down. I'll say it. So I know we get, yeah, we get hot flushes, moods, dry, hairy chins. Skin, sags, boobs. sag.

Oh, God. Metabolism gone. Life's not over though. Yeah. Labida. What happens to libida? Look, libido can change. So yes, it can change for lesser.

But you look, once again, there are fixes to everything there that we've listed. There are fixes because actually you can start on hormone replacement or other alternative forms in that transition to fix your problems. Not fix your problems. help you. It sounds like you're broken bathroom at the moment, but no, it's to help. So libido, you know, people hear about, you know, you might use a little form of testosterone or there might be other ways to balance out your hormones. You know, if you have hot flushes, yes, you can tackle it with some form of hormone replacement therapy that is suited to where you're at in

that transition. There's different ways to give that to you to make it feel safe. But once again, you know, there are evidence out there that other things like CBT, acupuncture, all of those actually can help in those phases. So, you know, once again, you shouldn't suffer in silence. Once it happens, seek help. Seek help, yeah. Is it a myth that women get, like, more horny in the buildup to perimenopause? Because it's like, it's like, their final chart, their body is like, go, go, go. You get a bit more horny because you're like, I've got to, not spread, the opposite of spread my seeds. But I think this is, but this is when I hear like some seeds. I also hear like, in pregnancy, just before you have your baby, it, that's

when it all happened because you're like, oh, we're about to get no sleep and seep in separate rooms. And, you know, like, is it the same sort of thing, I guess, we're sort of talking about. Yeah, yeah, kind of end of days, kind of, um, situate. Women get horny at the end of days. The apocalypse is coming. Men's listening are like, right, I've got all these peaks. I'm ready. Oh, love, I think you're about to edit.

Shall we do date night? Okay. Well, do you know what? This has been really useful. Do I feel like things are going to be easy? No. But do I think they're impossible? No.

And everything's hard for women in the health department, isn't it? Yeah. They have not done the research as well, it feels. Like they're finally like, oh, maybe, maybe, okay, maybe your period is a bit painful. You know what I mean? Maybe I will listen to you. Yeah. You must find that.

Things are getting better. Oh, in the women's health domain. Oh, my God. Absolutely. Okay, great. I think also, you know, no matter where you get your care for whatever, you're very empowered to come with information now. You know, that's the thing we actually like patients to say their opinion

or bring us like really good questions. Is that because you're a woman though, would you say? Or is that a universal situation? All my male colleagues are out there going answer this. Correct. Please stop them from bringing their questions. You know, this is the thing is, you have. option. So it's good. You've got that

choice and you can find what works for you. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You know you worked in gynecology? Yes. Male gynecologists. What's going on there, Jess? Just once for all. Let's just find out what's going on there. I guess it's a mainly female dominated field or is it not? Yeah, but I think look, you can be interested in women's health.

It's funny, we're laughing then, but I actually think, hands up to them. They're really interested in endometriosis. They're really interested in fertility. And actually, you know, you can actually ask them. Why did you get into it? And actually, it's actually fascinating why some people do the things they do. And I know once someone told me this amazing story about his mother and that's why he got into that. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. And I think, you know, we flip the card. We flip the card. You know, urology is. is very much, you know, looking at men's bits, but then females out there and, you know, actually...

We could be dick doctors if we wanted. I'd love that. Amy Glettel, Dick Specialist. Hi. But it's not just, you know, down to... I'm going to use that word, our dicks. Like, it's also bladder and things like that. So, you know, the dicks, Amy.

So actually, I think, she, it's a great world. Like, people then get into what they want to be really good at. And there's often a... reason. Look, you might not agree with their reason, but there's a reason that actually, fair cool, fair cool. I like, I support them. Okay. Yeah, but yes, I did laugh initially, but I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. And I, I really, I work along because I'm some amazing male colleagues. There you go. You get my shout out now. There you go. Thank you so much. Thank you.

No, that's really appreciate. Well, let's see. Let's wait for your feedback. But it's been a pleasure. Good luck in your journeys. Thank you so much. That's right. Good luck in your journeys, whatever that looks like.

Yeah. And it is a journey. Yeah. Being a woman is a journey. It is. Oh, God. Yeah, we can't stop journeying. Yeah.

Yeah, we just want to sit down. But the journey continues. Is it how? Well, there we go. Wow. That was, um, There's a lot of information to take in. Yeah.

Furious about zinc. Absolutely furious. I'm in the pockets of big zinc. I was hoping that would cure our problems. Just give us a tablet. Yeah, just one pill where it just makes your skin grit, your hair great, your nails grit. But also just makes you healthy on the inside and out and make sure live longer and be fertile till you're 60. Yes, that would be so much.

I just, I think that's it. It just is also frustrating because, Nothing seems quite clear. I mean, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bha, boring. What is the thing? What's the actual thing we need to do? How is the actual thing?

Exercise and eat well. But what's the actual thing we need to do? I'm not going to do that. So what's the actual thing? Drink water. No. Eat healthy. No.

Exercise. No. What's the actual thing? What's the thing? Just tell me, is it chocolate milkshakes? Is it watching TV after midnight? Yes. There's got to be a thing that has.

Has anyone researched that? No, I don't believe they have because no one research is... Yeah. Women's health. Yeah, I think I am going to freeze my eggs. But I also think, despite what Jess said, I'm going to need to take a full two weeks off. Yeah, yeah. I've heard from people it can be a, it's like an emotional...

You're injecting emotions, not emotions. Yeah. Hormones that, I mean, well, for me at least, bring out... A lot of feelings. Yes. I'm a big feeler when it comes to immersion. When it comes to hormones. So I imagine for me that could be quite the roller coaster. Yes.

Because is it that it's tricking your body that it's pregnant for two weeks? It's starting your cycle. So it's just doing all the stuff that happens naturally, but just speeding it up to be like, let's get this cycle going. Okay. Let's get this party started. You're basically starting the party and your ovaries. Well, that's what I think of it.

I tell you what, if people have listened to this, thinking, I want more of this. Give me more. They should listen to another brilliant podcast called Nobody Panic, please. Nobody do panic. Stevie Martin and Tesla's Coates. And they've got a very good episode on egg freezing called How to Freeze Your Eggs, Part One, and a bonus episode, How to Freeze Your Eggs, Part Two. Yeah, and they both do it. Tessie does it, and then Stevie does it.

wildly different reactions. So that, I would give that a listen if you're thinking about it. And if you're, if you're heading into menopause, perimenopause, if you're about to be on your period, if you've just come off your period, if you're starting to ovulate or if you're not ovulating, I'm sorry that life is so hard for you. Every single stage of a woman's life is hard.

I googled yesterday. Should you be tired when your period is over? I think I Google it every month I just want to work out because my period finishes and then I'm so tired and then I'm like yeah of course

you've just been perioding you know you just had a busy period so you're just a bit tired but is that normal like I don't hear anyone talking about that is that normal

what is normal I'm tired 100% of the time so I've got no idea yeah I don't know I just felt so tired and I was like it's probably all the blood that's been leaving your body

yeah well yeah all sorts of is going on in a woman's body at all times. It's exhausting. Your body hurts. Things inside you hurt.

We're tired. We're over tired. Yeah. It's between tired and overtired. That's my scale. That's the scale. Yeah. On a scale of tired to over tired.

Yes, there we go. Well, we hope you found this episode. Yeah, I hope so. All the best. All the best. Good luck out there. It's fucking hell. Jesus.

Hello, I'm Lucy. Beaumont. And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding. That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah. This changes people's lives. If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up? An in-depth look at sumo wrestling and the scandals, because it used to be considered so honorable, like sumos and they all live together, sumos. No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just message loads of Derricks. I don't think people know that. I emailed 100 Derek's. I don't think it was Derricks. I thought it was Brian. Sorry, Brian. Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook.

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