Single Ladies In Your Area - Funny Women Learned Confidence And The Scam Of Casual Sex With Elouise Eftos

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Amy and Harriet are joined by the incredible Elouise Eftos, who answers questions like: how do you learn to be confident? Is casual sex a scam? And does saying thank you to the bus driver count as flirting?For all the latest updates on live shows follow Elouise on Instagram @weezasqueezaWe want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, this is Harriet Kemsley, and I'm very excited to be back on tour around the UK with my new show, Flusi. As listeners of the podcast will know, I am really trying my best to be a bit of a flusie, but it's not going particularly well. The dates are on sale now. It's going to be autumn 2026. For tickets and information, head to plosive.com.com. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there.

We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that.

This is Single Ladies in your area. Oh, you look so comfy. I feel comfy. These are nice chairs. Yes. It's so cozy. We didn't have these chairs before, did we? We've gone up in the world.

This is like Buclay. Oh. How have you been? What have you been up to? I've been good. I've been good. I had a bit of a wild weekend recently. I went a bit wild.

Did you? Sometimes when I have a weekend away, I just go a bit wild. Yeah. And I can't help it. I go a bit feral, I think. I had a weekend at end of the road. festival. I was doing a stand-up comedy there and we left and I was in such a foul mood. Like I was so grumpy. You know when I become a real grump?

Literally never, but go on. Yeah. And I was so awful and grumpy. And I just was such a big grump. And then I got, because I was like, I have so much work to do. I just felt so stressed. Yeah. And then I got there and I was like, I should just stay for one night and then I should go home. I should work and I should do this. I got there. First night did mushrooms. lost my goddamn mind. It was amazing. So I haven't done mushrooms in 10 years. So, like, 10 years ago, I went to Thailand and I did mushrooms. I did these mushroom, this mushroom shake, and I saw an old lady with laser eyes. And it was so stressful. Me and Bobby were in the cabin where we were staying. And then he went, oh, should you go outside and go for a walk? And I went,

yeah, no, because they might have to get past the grandma with laser eyes. He was like, what are you talking about? And he was like, are you doing right with those? mushrooms and I was like yeah and then he was like I don't know if you don't know about that um so it was horrible and I haven't done them since and then a friend of ours um was very generous with his um supplies and it was so but it was so fun I we watched caribou who I was like I can't watch caribou like sober like I just like they're fun and everything but I can't direct like to that sure I was the perfect level I was just going around and be like

what I was so happy it was crazy I was so happy then I woke up at 6 a.m so I had like 4 hours sleep was so annoying because I didn't have made word I woke up at 6 a.m

but I was so happy and then I just couldn't everyone was asleep and I just get going to try to check if anyone was wake up because I was so happy I was so happy. And then I just couldn't stop being happy.

And then that's incredible. Yeah. And then Bobby sent me an article which said that, oh, they're called like cyclosobos. Cyclocobins. Mushrooms. If you do them every 10 years, it can reset your brain every 10 years. So I was, I was, 10 years ago, I was sad seeing laser-eyed ladies.

Now, happy, happy mushroom lady. Wow. Oh my God. Well, do you recommend, do, I mean, obviously... Everyone, do mushrooms, do as many as you can. I don't know. I think in Thailand it can be very strong. And this was like in chocolate, but yeah, it was so good. I was so happy. And it was like, it wasn't like with alcohol, like with alcohol where you'd then be a bit depressed. Yeah. I was just so happy. Is this irresponsible advice? Probably. But I'm just saying it worked for me and I was so happy. And I felt a bit happier, I think, ever since. Wow! Yeah.

There are trials and stuff, aren't they? Where they're trying sort of like recreational drugs in depression and things like that. And they were saying like microdosing, LSD. Maxi dosing. Maxi dosing, baby. I've never tried mushrooms or anything because I've always been scared that they will make you have like a bat, like laser lady lady. Yeah, but they can.

That's the risk. Well, that's the thing, isn't it? But me and Sally were just watching camera. with all the lights, we're just like, the lights are so pretty. Wow. It's just so silly. And then I was just like, on his show, I just like, like, I hope there is no footage of me. Like, if there is, I'm just like, whoa!

These are the biggest eyeballs you've ever seen in your life. But yeah, it's basically medicine these days. That's very cool, Harriet. It's very Gen Z of you. Yeah, what can I say? It's very cool. It's very now. It's very hip.

It's very young. I try. You're doing great. Yeah, it's just so, it's just, I just, it's just so nice to have fun sometimes. And I just get into such a grump and I'm like, I have to be so serious and I have to work and have to do this. And every moment you have that's not doing whatever, you have to be focused. And then it was like, oh, actually everything feels so much easier now if you just do drugs. I genuinely, probably, because I know how hard you work on what your schedule is like,

I genuinely think it's like, aware, maybe subconsciously of your body going, you must take some out. hours off from having responsibilities. Yeah, I felt so free. It was so good. And it had been so stressful on the way there as well. There was like, they just was so much happening. And stuff was beyond my control,

it just all felt so stressful. And then I was just so happy. God, that's great. I mean, if you are feeling depressed, don't just do mushrooms. Like, there are other things that you need to do. Yes. Therapy and things like that.

Yes. Yes, I'm doing all of that as well. Yeah, I know you're doing all that. I'm just moving for people at her. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Be sensible. Yeah. And like you, like, you've got to know where the mushrooms come from. Yeah. Well, I'd like to, I'd like to see our friend with his generous mushrooms. Maybe I try it on my own at home. Is that weird? No. I actually, I'd like to do them a bit all the time.

Okay. Well, now, this doesn't sound as healthy as I thought. And it might be a problem. Yeah. Okay. Well. Okay. It's working for me at the moment, Amy. Well, we've got an incredible guest who, as far as I know, isn't on mushrooms all the time, but does seem genuinely happy, full of life. Yeah. She's vivacious. She's hot.

She's hot. And she's just, I think she's a very, like, she's a great guest to have on because I think she's very inspirational. Very inspirational. Yeah. She's like, I think the way she lives her life and her confidence is so infectious. Yeah. Well, we've not spoke to her yet. This is what we are projecting.

We might backtrack on that. Yeah. But that's where we're feeling at the moment. That's where we feel. That's why we've got to run. We have got the brilliant Eloise F-Tos. We just got to get fingered by pancake day. My God, she's here live in the studio.

Eloise F-Tos. Oh my God, great. I had to clap. Girls. It's felt like we had to clap. I'm going like this. Oh, she's doing it. She's doing it.

She's doing it. When you break out into dance moves, it's really. It's so cool. That you're overcome. Oh, my God. Two of my favorite comedians in the whole world. And I watch and I see the clips and I go, imagine being on that podcast. And here I am.

And here I am, babe. My love. My love. My love. I'm good. I'm a bit going. That I'm like in London and like doing all like my shows and I just can't believe that people are coming. And it's just crazy.

It feels like I'm dreaming. You've got the heat. Yeah. I mean, it's hot. Babe, it's so funny. I'll never forget when you posted about my show. I was like, I'm you learning points about my show?

No. Not a panic attack, but having an anxiety attack. It was just the fact that you even came to my show. Oh my God. Like Edinburgh felt crazy and then like, what the hell? But your show is so good. I've been raving about it. She's been talking about it so much.

Like, I love all I've seen from you on Instagram. But yeah, I've heard amazing things about the show. Yeah, it's funny. Silly. It's good stuff. Thank you for saying that. Best show winner. saying that.

That's a bad show winner saying that. I'm not saying it. No, that is so, thank you. It was so good. And I said to Harriet, like, it's your starting point is like the hardest point

because your show is saying because you are, like, I'm hot and I'm good at my job. And to make an audience love you and be on your side, that's so hard. Babe, thank you for saying that. You need so good. I feel like, people don't acknowledge it,

especially in Australia, where I'm from. And I feel like people don't understand, like, doing high status, especially as a woman, which is the point of my show. Never done it. Never done it. Never been able to. The lowest status.

At the same time, it's so funny because I think also, like, that is why I made the show. It's like my observations of, um, the way that people got so uptight or rubbed the wrong way because I would do high status comedy and talk about how I look. And I think when I first started,

the persona was a bit ditsy. And then I started to be like, I'm using my own name. Like, I don't want it to be stupid. I wanted to be, like, annoyingly good at everything. And I think that that was, like, for me, a bit of a statement. And to make fun of, like, the other comedians. And always be like, oh, you guys think this is some, like, special club? I can't be a part of.

Because I'm hot. Because I'm hot. But just for women, like, wearing what we want to on stage. Like, all of this stuff. And the fact that you are acknowledging that it is difficult to do high status is, thank you so much because I feel like I don't think that people understand how difficult it is. I would say almost impossible. Yeah, I remember that, like, genuinely.

Well, I sometimes am like, I can't believe people are, but I... But guys do it. Guys go on with her theatre's being like, this is my opinion on politics. Yeah. They live in, you know what I noticed today? Like, I was walking through Spitifield Market, London. They just take up space. Yeah, yeah.

And like, where, this is us. Yeah. Oh, God, sorry. Like, yeah. That's right. Sorry, oh, God, sorry. Oh, that is such a spooky impression of us, actually, that is very good. No, it's like, it's unfortunate that, like, we have been told for

long. Like, don't, don't be too confident. Don't, don't be too dressed up. And if you're too dressed up, you're a, you're a, you're a loser. It's like, yeah, then you're a loser. It's like, yeah, you can't win. You can't win. I remember, like, 10 years ago, there was an article, like, it came out and it said, like, how hot women can't be funny. Yeah. That's so funny. I don't know if you've read it. You need to try and find this article. No, I want to find it. I love that. And it came out. And it's, it's, it's just crazy. Christopher Hitchens. Oh, yeah, he said that as well. Yeah. Who's this guy. Yeah.

I like it. I like it. I think the point was it's like, oh, women would only ever use humour if they're unattractive to get a man because if they're pretty, then they don't need anything else. You don't need to develop a personality. But also that's so shit to guys as well because that's saying that guys literally just go for... Yeah.

Just looks. They should be offended by that really. They should actually. But they're not. They're not. It's not. It's one of those things we are kind of like, I, yeah, I find it really interesting. It's kind of like, don't be, don't be stupid, but then like don't be too good looking.

And then especially in comedy, it's like, don't dress up too much because I was literally told, don't dress too sexy people. Yeah, people would think you're trying to fuck their husband. What? What were you wearing? And, I mean, hell yeah, babe, I hope there was this little negligent. Because Harriet has said on the podcast, when she first started, she went on stage with a backpack. Hey, that's cute. That I can see, but...

It stabilised me, I'd be nervous, and I'd be wobbling a bit, and it just gets me rooted. Okay, I'm obsessed with that. That's beautiful. That's nice. Yeah, I've had multiple people say that to me that if you dress up on stage,

like, if you look at full sexy, the women will be threatened, and the men won't listen. Because they'll be attractive. Which is, like, the whole gag in my show that every time I talk to someone in the crowd, music plays, and I, like, move into... It's so funny.

It's just, like, because for me, it's like, that is so stupid. But it's like, if that's what you're going to say that it's happening, then all right, let's make it happen. It's, yeah, very interesting. I think I'm finding the response in the UK like so much more, I don't know, they're just so much more receptive, I think because you guys are a little bit more comedy savvy,

a little bit, a lot of bit. And I think also you're not scared of high status because I think you do have people here that do high status a little bit more. And not just men, it's also some women do high status. I think Catherine Ryan was like the first woman to dress up on stage of making effort. I am, especially in the UK because I think, yeah, she is. And glamorous and like unapologetically hot.

Yeah, and it would be a dream to meet her. Her and Natasha Legerro when I first saw them. Oh, yeah. I was like, oh, I could do this style of comedy or like, because I was like studying acting at the time and I was like, I really want to try stand up and like just give it a go. And it was like, I started writing in this voice. And then I kind of was like, oh, I can do this.

It does, it can work, you know, or just like in my own way. But yeah, it's really interesting. It's fascinating. Do you feel that you're the same in real life as you have the confidence that you do at stage? I wish. I feel like it depends. I think sometimes I can be and then I'm actually quite an anxious person in real life. Like I think I don't have you both have seen me be like that.

Maybe Amy has in Edinburgh. Like I feel like there's times when I was like a bit like, guys, I'm maybe like, I was like, hey guys, what's happening? Do you guys think it's like bad that like this is happening? I like, I wish that I was more like my persona. She's almost like a affirmation. I love that. She's like a heightened version of me that I wish. I wish I was like, I don't give a fuck.

Sasha fierce. I'm born the same day as Beyonce. Oh, my God. So that kind of is all. Oh my God. Do you know what I mean? Virgo, you know. So, but that I think is what kind of happens is like when I go on stage, it's like I have this.

Something comes over me and I become this like, I don't give a fuck and I can tell people where to stick it and stuff. And then offstage I'm like, is that too much? And I'm sort of like hoping that more and more over time I'm getting better at not. being too, I don't know, like, overwhelmed by like the way that I, because I think we're conditioned as women to care about what people think and please people and not be too, you know, not be too anything, babe, to anything. Because if you're too anything, you're not, what, attractive, you're not, like, you know, palatable. And I think that is, um, I'm noticing, I'm getting better at not being so, I don't know, someone commented on a clip of mine yesterday and they were like, this, um,

insult humor that you do isn't funny. And I was like, unfollow me then, bitch. And then I comment that and then after I'd be like, isn't you my to like that? And I'm like, and then I go like, but, and getting better at like not caring because I think it's also so empowering to not care as a woman and be like, I think of a heart. Like how cool would that be to be like that all the time?

It's so great. I just went on holiday to a couples hotel. So everyone's in couples. I was the only person in the hotel on my own. But I felt so powerful because I didn't wear makeup for a week. I didn't wear a bra for a week. I was like, I was in a bikini, like, sat eating chips. And like, I think any of the time, even if I was with a friend, I'd be a bit like, oh, I'll just,

oh, God, sorry, I'll put some mascara on. Yeah, but I was like, look at my horrible natural lashes. No, but literally, boom. So you can enjoy, you can enjoy your burger. That's cute. I'm not, my pale lashes are on show. That's killing me, but it's true. It's like, but it's so funny, I was the same when I was on my own, on my trip.

And then I met up with my family and my sisters, like, every night, it's like makeup on it. And I was going, now I have to put my... Because then if I'm the only one in the photo that's like, you're ill. You look ill. Unfortunately.

But yeah, isn't it funny? It's like that feel... Oh, just free. Be free to not care. How do you feel sort of going about on your own? I've been single for like so long that I feel like I'm getting really good at being on my own and like being independent, which is great.

But then there's also a part of me that's like, maybe I think I have PMDD. Every time I'm about to get my period, I'm always like, actually, should maybe I be. Like I have these little existential moments. Yeah. I feel like I'm getting so good at like being on my own and being independent and like

enjoying it. But then there are times where you do go, wait a minute, should I be doing a bit more to? Yeah. And then I'm trying to. But then I also think that like that's probably what my next shows about. The persona's almost like is a detriment to my dating life because I think men are either like intimidated by which I think is like bullshit. But unfortunately I think that men can be intimidated by. strong women. And there's a whole idea that men either want to treat me like a trophy or they

want to bring me down because they're threatened. And I find that's what I feel is like, they're not the right ones. Well, exactly. So it's kind of like, well, yeah, I'm hoping that the right one would come along. But yeah, I'm working on like material to do with that. And I also think as well, like, I don't know how you girls feel about this, but I think being women in comedy, being funny women is really like threatening to some men. And then I think like, where do we meet men in the comedy scene. I've always been so disciplined. I'm like, I never date comedians.

I never touched a comedian for so long. And then I was like, I don't know. I think I turned 30 and I was like, well, I better open up the, you know, better be a little bit more, hey, like, give some people a jazz. Yeah, so rather than opening the door, it's like you're opening, like, the dog hatch or whatever. It's like, okay, I'm going to let you guys in then.

I'm 30 now, letting the dogs. I'm 30 now, let's go to the pound. It's a bit that, babe. It's, it was always. almost like me doing that and then being like, oh, is this like even worse? Like I almost had like some pretty bad experiences because I was like, I either felt like I was treated like a trophy or I was treated like someone that they wanted to like bring down after they like saw me perform or like, I don't know.

But then at the same time, I'm like, then you see a lot of couples that are in comedy or in the same industry. I don't know. It's hard. It's hard. Because like, I don't know. Have either of you dated comedians? Exclusively.

I divorced them. You divorced them. Mainly. That's what I do. Yeah. I like that. I like that. That's actually kind of like glamorous.

That's London life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is how this podcast started because you were both in long-time relationships with comedians. Oh my God. Who? I'll find them.

I don't know if I'm saying that. See what I mean? I'm like, Ben, I'm like, who's that? Sorry, what we're saying?

This is how the podcast started. You dated some comedians. Yeah. I didn't even dated any. I think I've just like dallied. Dallied. No, that's pretty British to say that.

You've dallied. But like, as in barely, but then just my experiences, and I'm quite an anxious girl, and I think I get this, like, maybe it's because I'm Greek. It's like I get this, like, shame comes over me. I'm like, oh, my God, see, you shouldn't, fuck, shit, where you wait.

Oh, that's not being Greek. That's just being... That's being women. But you know, it's like I get really overwhelmed. But anyway, so you were saying that's how the podcast started. Oh, yeah, so we'd both come out of these long-term relationships at the exact same time. And we were, like, clutching onto each other.

Which is also one of the most powerful things that can happen. It happened with me and my best friend. Really? Really? Really? Like, barely long term for me, but long term, more for her. And it's just like the most powerful energy. Yeah. Coming together and being like, yeah.

Yeah. So what do we do you do now? I don't know. Yeah. We run off a cliff together, I guess. Yeah. Or we do a pocket. That's better.

That's better. We do that on for now. I love that. I love that. So that's how it started. That's how it started from dating. And comedians. Yeah.

So are you saying, are you saying like, don't ever. ever go, because I've never really dated. I don't know if they're too scared to date me. Or maybe they don't see me as like, maybe they don't think that I'm datable. I think they're probably all stood behind you with stiffies going, I don't know how to talk to her out. If you stay out long enough, it will happen.

Yeah, I think basically, you know, that's killing me. They're just going like, how do you talk to her? Like, we can't even impress her with humour because she's funny then. What do we do? What do we do? Open a jar in front of her.

That would be impressive. That would be impressive. If anything, that's the thing that you worry about. about when you're single and you're alone, you're like, oh my God, I'm choking on like a pistachio. Yeah. I could die. If someone was here, they could like sat my back or zip up my dress or take off a necklace.

Like, that's the stuff where you start to go, come on. They must invent like that as a thing. There must be, that must be the robot. And then women truly don't need men. Yeah. Once that is invented and they can do those things. Yeah. I need someone to put sun cream on just the bit on my back.

That's like a ball for my bra strap. Yes, babe, it's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. We have to have to go, like, do that. like a patent now. Is it hum?

I'm trying to be like open. Yeah. You're looking to date. I guess. I guess so. Like I'm so busy that I, there's a part of me that's like, is it part that I haven't gone on a date

because I just haven't really had the time. And then if someone was like, do you want to go on a day and go, okay. Yes, please. Yeah, do you know what I mean? It's like a little bit. And then maybe I'm like,

it would be nice to kiss someone. It's so crazy to think that someone like you isn't getting asked out all the time. Like that just like baffles me completely. That's just the opposite of what I ever would have thought. Because that's what makes me laugh. I've had people ask me like, oh my God, you must be like, yeah, like, hooking up with people all the time,

like sexy, sexy girl. And I'm like, this is me. I'm like, I wish that I was like living like people think I am. And I think then I start to like shame myself. I'm like, you're not even living this sexy life. You're being this sexy thing on stage, not even being sexy. You should be hooking up with someone different every night.

But I'm like, you should be like Samantha sex. But I'm like not, but I'm actually like a bit. I'm actually kind of like a bit Shalah, I'm going, um, um, you know, because I think, I don't know, I'm like trying to be like more liberated about like, like, you know, sex and sexuality talking.

I barely used to talk about sex on stage ever, and now I'm trying to talk about it a bit more. I think that's a little bit maybe like the, being like, oh, is that really bad? Like, well, if my family saw this, or blah, that's a bit like the ethnic cup bringing a bit. But for me, I'm like, I want to be liberated and have fun, but then there's a part of me that's like,

casual sex is a, scam for women. Interesting. Talk to us about that. For me, technically it's not a scam in the physical sense because I say this joke in my show that I am really lucky because I, the most anti-feminist thing about me is that I come too quick. Yeah, it's really easy for me to come.

So that is why I'm an anti-feminist. Everything else is fine. That's the real. So I'm trying to stop myself from coming to like be a better feminist. Thank you. For all of you. I'm trying to, you're welcome. But there's a part of me that's like,

I think that the casual intimacy thing, the way that men see it and the way that women see it, I think is different because most women can't come from sex, penetrative sex, which most straight men probably prefer to do or think that that is what sex is. Casual, I'm like, what is casual sex? Like, because for me, the best part is like,

obviously the intimacy, physical part is great, but then after it's like, I don't know, I think a lot of people are like, all right, fuck off now, see you later. And I'm like, that's, I don't think that that is in Paris. I don't think that that feels good. And I think that we've been told that that's what we should want. And I don't think it does actually feel good.

And I don't know, maybe that's just me. But I have this weird feeling of like, yeah, it's kind of like, yeah, cool, whatever. And you sort of like walk off. But like if a guy, I don't know, you hook up with someone and they sort of just toss you to the side after. I'm like, yeah, the thought of that. Like, why would I want that? Yeah. That is not casual to me.

That is just disrespectful. I don't think casual sex has to be that. Because that's what I was so afraid of being single, was sleeping with somebody and then being, and then being like, okay. Yeah, because I think that's what most, I think, unfortunately, most men, I think women even think that, like, or we've been, like, trying to train ourselves, like, almost like sexual liberation, like this amazing thing, but it's almost like, I don't think that that's the same outcome. Like, I don't think that we're really getting what we want. Yeah, so maybe do you think women have, of tried to be liberated by having the same casual sex that men want? Rather than going, like, what do we actually want? What do we actually want? What do we actually want? Because I don't think.

Because I don't think that most, like, back in the day, when people were dating, like, in the 80s and 90s, they'd probably be like, I'm dating this person because of like dating out and social media. Everyone's like, I've got options. I'm, it's just, oh, we're just casually, just casually because they're like of someone else down the road just in case. Which is, I also think a little bit, I don't know, I'm kind of going, well, if you're going to casually date someone, like, is it on or is it not? Like, I don't know. It's this weird thing. I kind of feel like I know that I can, like, physically enjoy and have a good. time, but I'm kind of like, is it actually enjoyable

if you're sort of just like tossed to the side? But I think that's accepting like bad behaviour. That's what I think too. I don't want to, like I can have casual sex with someone. If they're nice and I know they like me and we can have fun. But I cannot if I think they're going to be in the toss afterwards. As long as it's like a thing where you're like encompassing and it's all like good. Because there should be like boundaries and like aftercare and like all these things

where I think like that is. Because I've had casual relationships that's been like great. And I say relationship only because of like I guess that's what I would call it. But like so chill. and the guys are really nice and it's been really nice. But then there's other times where you're kind of like, oh my God, I feel horrible after this because I don't think that they respect me or they...

Do you know what I mean? That's the key. Only sleep with the ones that respect. But it's hard to know that always beforehand. Totally, because sometimes they're... It's impossible to know before. Exactly. They switch. They can be a real switch.

They can really, they get what they want. They go, all right, see ya. As soon as their balls are empty, the respect has got. Yeah, babe, that's the problem. Just going to empty my respect on your tits. Oh, there we go. There's a respect. All right, you can get out.

Oh, you go. All right, you can leave now. All the respect's gone. You can watch that respect off. I don't know, but maybe that's really like conservative for me to think about like that. But I think it's a bit of a scam. I think that we've, like, been told that we have to be this certain way. Yeah, it really works for them.

It really works for them. If we're doing exactly what they want and they get to still treat us badly. Because I don't think there's a lot of women that are having casual sex that are actually enjoying the sex. Yeah. Because I know that I can. I'm fine. But it's the after-time. I'm going, sorry, after, it's like the, like, you know, and then being like, oh, like, is this,

also I feel like there's this thing of like, when you're trying to be like, at this situation, I have to tell you, just the way, and he was a comic, and I will never forget, like, I found out of a breakup pretty recent, but like this is after, like, him doing the girlfriend experience with me. It was like I was like I was therapist, sex worker. But then it was almost a bit like, oh, actually, I just want to be friends and, like, I was like, I've known you for, like, three years. three days like, it's like, I've known you for like three days like, what are you talking about?

It was like this really weird, like almost like, all right, I don't want anything to do with you now, but it was kind of a bit like, but you've been treating me. It's almost like they think that I want more because I'm, I'm like, I'm mirroring what you're doing. Yeah. I'm doing what you're. Yeah, you came to me with this. I was fine. Babe, I was fine.

You pursued me. That's what's the worst part. Yeah. There's like a part of me that like when things like that happen and they treat me the way that I do it. I'm like, I don't know. I was bullied in high school. I was never good looking. I was never like the hot girl in high school.

It's like I go back to that. And it's almost like me being my persona on stage. It's like I have this like self-doubt and I go in on myself. And then I'm like, because of that loser guy, it's sick. It makes me so angry. It's kind of like, I don't know. There's a part of me that's like trying to be. I hate the whole thing of like being the cool girl and being like a pick me and doing

what men want and, you know, being like, I don't care. Yeah, cash, whatever. Cool. But it's also like I think we do have to be much more like, hey, like, this is how it works. Like, I don't need to, like, go on a date with you, but if you're going to come over and hook up with me, like, don't, like, use protection and don't be a fucking asshole about it.

And, like, don't, like, just, like, fuck off the next day. Or tell me about other people that you're... Guys doing that, telling me they're hooking up with other people. I'm like, that's great. You don't have to, like, tell me in, like, a way of, like, I think they do it to almost be, like, just so you know, like, I get with other people. I'm like, okay.

Okay. Just so you know, they're my dream woman. I've, like, I've, I've had other options. Yeah, it's okay, this is me. Thanks for this one, that guy, the one I was telling you about that was like, I just had a breakup, he's like, yeah, I'm actually going to date. Yeah, she's actually a doctor and I'm like, okay. Why are you telling me this?

Like, almost like a thing of like, I've got other options. I'm like, great, great. Go be with that other option. Yeah. But like, because imagine if I did that to them. They'd kill themselves. And I would never do that because I'm actually a really nice person. It's like they see me on stage and they think I'm like.

Like a bitch. Yeah. You know what? There's a part of me that's like, I should be a fucking bitch. You should be a bitch. We should all be bitches. This is what I feel like,

because there's little things that have happened where like a guy has seen me perform and I go in on myself after because of how they've treated me. Like another guy that was like, I had a really big crush on him and he like saw the trial of my show invited me up to his apartment after.

This is like in Australia. We'd already like kissed and like hooked up a little bit. And then he just like sat on the other side of the couch to me and like almost was like looking at me. Like I was weird. I was like, oh, I was a bit nervous. He was like, oh, your show's great, but, like, treating me in this weird way. Oh, my God.

And then I was like, oh, I was really nervous to do some of those new jokes. Like, I don't really joke about sex on stage. He goes, oh, well, people don't know if it's true or not. And I was like, oh, well, you know that it's true. Like, about the one that I come too quick. And he was like, okay. And I was like, going, what? And then there was like, I don't know, this thing called lip sync battle in Melbourne that I do and I do and I won this year.

I'm so embarrassed about it. I saw. You saw, babe. And then, um, he was like. talking about the backup dancers and being like, oh, are you going to have that same backup dances? She was really hot, that girl that you, and I was like, what is, why am I here?

And I just was like so embarrassed. And I felt humiliated and I felt really like, oh my God, have I been invited up here, like almost like a, to bring me down after him seeing me perform. I've had that before where they're trying, they're using other people. And you're like, I'm like, you praising that woman. It's not going to, yeah.

But it felt so, sorry, totally all these scenarios, but it was just for me, it's like, I feel like you girls. will probably get a similar thing happening when it's like, that's the problem is there probably are lots of people that are insecure in comedy. Like, God, there's moments where I'm insecure too. But I think with men, especially when it's a woman,

because I think that we, yeah, it's like, it's so much more impressive, I think when women are, like, doing comedy. And because I think for men, they're, like, told all the time that they're funny and that they can do this. And, like, we work extra fucking hard to be where we are because all the odds are fucking against us. Yeah. Is this flirting? You feel like you had to work on yourself

or something to improve your confidence from like when you were younger. Because out when you seemed like such a confident person. I'm always like so amazed by you. And I think you're such like an inspirational person. Like genuinely like your attitude and the way you are and like how you are and state. Did you have to work on yourself?

I feel like for me, yeah. Like I feel I've always been like a happy go lucky kid. But I was also, yeah, I wasn't like I didn't feel like I was pretty or I. This is so funny. This is like for the British audience, like the way that I can describe it. Like I grew up not thinking that I was pretty, I think, because I was like brunette. And I was like a little Greek, Massachusetts and a girl. And so I would like always want to be Baby Spice.

So whenever we do Spice Girls games, I'd want to be Baby Spice because I thought that being blonde was more beautiful. My mom's blonde, even though she's a Greek as well. She's blonde. And so I think there was a part of me that was never really felt like I was attractive or cool. And I think also being silly and funny, like learning accents and voices and dancing. and singing I did since I was quite young. So I think I always had this confidence. But then there's also like that little voice, that little,

I think we all have it. And if you don't, I think you're fucking weird. No, but it's just like, there's a part of me that's like I had to work on the confidence of like being confident with, I think my sexuality and being confident with like, I think that that is what is attractive about people when they're confident. Yeah. I think that's what made me feel better about how I looked and who I am as a person and being a woman.

I think that that is the like first key thing is just being confident in in general because it's like fake it to your make it. Yeah. Do you have a way of explaining how you did that? I mean, good question, babe. Teachers and Louise. We've got 10 minutes.

I'm going, I'll teach you. I'm going, let me teach you. Let's hit the track and it's like, pussycat dolls button is plays. I feel like dancing to music is like a really, I think music, listening to music, dancing to music. Being in touch with your body, I think really helps. I think like we're in clothes that you like, listening to music that makes you feel good. And I don't know, I feel like these are all

things that have helped me, I think, become who I, maybe what you see when you see this confident. It's like, I guess it's because I've figured out what maybe I like to wear or like what I think looks good for my body or what music I like to dance to. And I think also figuring out like what makes me feel good and not doing it because of other people liking certain things, do I mean? Because I think so little, sometimes you put so little thought into those things. You can live a whole life where you're just trying to fit into a mould or whatever. And it's be like, no, actually take the time and be like,

totally. Which is kind of like even my comedy. I think for so long I was told like, oh, don't do this. Because we are told like don't do this straight with that, especially as women in comedy. And then there was a part of me that was like, oh, I'm going to wear what I want on stage. And I'm going to say what I want. And I'm going to just do what I think. you have to almost like, again, like, I don't know, pretend that everything's, it's like,

fake it you make it. Pretend everything's going to work out. Pretend that like you know what you're doing. Yeah. It's almost like the actor in me. It's like, yeah, I'm just going to like pretend I know what I'm doing. And then I think it's more people like, oh, she must know what she's doing. I'm like, yeah.

Yeah. I do. I do. And I think I'm getting better at like believing it, you know? Because even like I teach the heels classes, beginner heels classes with my friend Holly back in Sydney and I would die to do them here. It would be so fun. And you would come.

And you would come. You would be so hot and sexy. And it's all just like about being empowered as women and like just feeling good about you. It's like got nothing to do with anyone else in the room. Because like I grew up as a dance. Like I have the body dysmorphia, the bloody, all of this bullshit. That's crazy. But I still feel like I have now and I can feel it coming up sometimes.

And I try really hard to just like I feel like there's times and I'm like, oh my God, I don't feel 100% like with my body at the moment and stuff like that. And there's almost me being like, well, what's the most empowering thing you can do? Still go on stage and do what you do and not care if you feel a little, I don't know, like, loaded or you feel like your hair's not looking 100% or just all this stuff. It's almost like, that's the most empowering thing you can do is almost being like, fuck it. Yeah. But it's also empowering for other women to know that all women feel kind of the same.

I think that's really important. I think it's so important to talk about that. I think there was definitely a time. I mean, maybe like in my 20s, but I'd be like, oh, I kept thinking that, like, life would start when my body was a certain... Babe, don't get myself on this. I kept being like, oh, well, when I get to this size, then I'll do this, and then I'll be like this, and then I'll feel like this, and then I won't have any more insecurities. Yeah. And my way has fluctuated so much, but when I got to the size that I wanted to be, I still was like, well, I don't like this bit now.

Don't, babe. Isn't it sick? It's actually sick. Because we'll do it to easy. We actually will do that to ourselves. And it's like, I've had the exact same thoughts. It's horrible that we do it to ourselves. It's really, really frustrating because that is what we've been conditioned to, like, worry about.

Yeah. And I hate it. But it's very, even though it's not a positive thing for you personally. No, but I know what you mean. It's very good, I think, for other people who, like, me and I don't know how hard it feels, but people at home who will be like, oh my God, Eloise has like a dancer's body. And the fact that she ever goes, like, Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. But I don't mean. But I'm serious. It's so true. But also you're like, oh, you can never relax. No, but isn't it? But isn't it so horrible that we do, right? No, but it's so funny that, like, for me, I, I've had to, like, coach myself into being, like, like, bodies fluctuate.

And, like, you, you are so lucky to live and be in a body that can move and do all these things. Like, how amazing is that. And, like, life's not going to stop because of how your body looks. And that's almost like, I've had to coach myself into it. Like growing up, doing dancing, like, fucks you up. So, like, I definitely feel that way. It's unfortunate, like, that is, especially now, like, now the whole, like, oh, God, heroin shakes all coming back now.

It's like, all these trends come back. And, but at the same time, I think, yeah, like, my, what I've been saying, which is almost me being, like, I think that's coming out, right? It's, like, just do whatever feels good for your, trends will come and go. Like, who gives a fuck about trends? Like, do whatever makes you feel good. Like, it's, like, with anything in life, I think it's, like, eat whatever you want. Like, as well, like, as well, it's like, as well,

as you feel good, do whatever you want, like, do whatever makes you feel, I don't know, like powerful in some way because I think women, like, we go through life and there's so many things that can make us feel the opposite. So why not, like, do a dance class or like, I don't know, take up something that's going to, I don't know, make you feel like, yeah, empowered in some way. Another one with a fish. Give us some Eloise after all. I was like top tips for, like, Living, like single life. I feel like they should be online.

Like this should be like, top 10. Top 10. Yeah. Like TikTok. You are believe number three. You're like having. And I'm like hiding. Like out of a cake or something.

No, I don't know. What am I saying? I think like with, I don't know, I think that I've gotten so much better. Even like I'm talking like not just like in a dating sense, but even like in the bedroom. Like just like ask for what you want and say what you don't like. like and just be outspoken. I think that's like a top tip. I think I really worry about women that don't do that.

This is how she's coming. She's asking for what she wants. And I want this and I want that. And I want this and I want this and I want that. And I want you to pass me that toy and I want you to leave. I've come again. I don't finish me again. No, it's just like I think that that is something that I think a lot of women don't.

Yeah. Because it's like, oh, do whatever they want. It's like, ask for what you want. Yeah. I think even in like a dating sense, like if someone was like, oh, you want, yeah, we'll go on a day. It's like, I don't know, just like, everyone be a little bit more, have a bit more autonomy over, like, what you want out of,

um, out of these experiences. Like, don't be afraid to go, oh, I don't really want to go straight to your house. I'd like to go for a drink first. Which also, I'm saying this and I'm going, I should do this. Because there's times when I don't. There's times when I don't. And I'm like, oh, this guy just wants to come over and they're so, he doesn't even want to ask me out on a date.

And it's kind of like, well, I could be like, oh, well, let's go for a drink first or like, whatever. Yeah. And then, I don't know, like, there's something so fun about being single. And I think you need to, like, I hate when people are like, you come with your least, I'm like, shut the fuck up. I also think that won't come when you're listening, but I think you have to, like, put yourself out there.

And I think I don't do it enough because I've been a bit busy girl and, like, being a bit, like, oh, God, I've got to work, you know. But also just being open, like, if you talk to something, just kind of being open to it and not being so, like, oh, I wouldn't really, you know, someone like that or, you know, just sort of letting, letting things happen. and not being afraid to, yeah, like enjoy being single, but then also enjoy sort of, like, talking to people. Talk to strangers.

I love talking to strangers. I love it. I love it. Like, even I had to get off the lift to, like, get my, like, I don't know, get my stuff to come here. And I was in the lift and, like, as I left the lift, I went, and have a great day. There was like a one man in the lift.

Have a great day. You too. I was like, what is that? Like, people don't do that anymore. I love that. And I'm, like, floating to rest. Pressing the lift buttons with his penis. Close the doors by accident.

Oh, I'm going back on again. Everywhere she goes around London. And then he's just like, I just love talking to strangers and there's like car accidents. It's that scene in Desperado with Salma Hayek and the car's going, cool. I'm going, we should re-film that.

What a great job, London. Okay, my thing you're talking with strangers, this is actually some actual real advice. Flooding is everywhere. We need to bring flirting back. Yes. Flirting is everywhere in this life. Everything is flirting and we need to look for it.

Like someone reading a book in public, flirting. Why are you reading a book in public? I'm not, do you know what is that? People owning pets, walking a dog, flirting. Why do you own a dog unless you want someone to talk to you? Wow, yeah. Floating's literally everywhere. When you're like, someone's like, do you want the receipt?

You're like, yeah, that's celebrity. Okay. I get it. I get it. And this isn't just me as Australia's first attractive comedian experience in this. This is everyone experiences this. Ready? So when you go off the bus, you say thank you to the bus driver. Thank you so much.

That's flirting, but you're actually flirting and not just with the bus driver. You're floating with the whole bus. That's so true. Because I'm going, use that girl saying thank you to the bus driver. Who is she? And I'm going, thank you so much. This is how we're so different because I say thank you to the bus driver,

but I do it to sort of like passive-aggressively remind everyone to be polite. Yeah, you're good, though, babe. That's good. Thank you, bus driver. And there's a guy at the back of the bus guy who the hell is that? Yeah. They're going to go out there's going, who is that strong woman? Oh, that's what they're saying.

That was great. Should I do Scalcer? No, you don't. I like, yeah, from all you people. Good. Thank you so much for coming on. Love you just so much. I can't believe you're even on the, I can't believe I'm here.

You know, when you're like, it's like you go to a film set and you're like, I'm going to come up here, like, on the set of like, pretty well. woman. Pretty women. Pretty women. Single age in your area of the film. I love you girls. Thank you so much for having me. Let's be single and hang out and be silly. Oh my gosh. People are being silly enough.

Be silly as another advice. We should go out and go like this. I feel like you're dancing through like a water fountain when that's happening. Yeah. That's exactly what's happening and we're all doing that. Oh my God. Let's do that through London. Let's do that through like, um, okay. Okay. In heels.

In heels. It'd be weird if we did it. I'm falling in that water fountain. I love that. I've got like a jet of water going on my nose. No, but I'll teach you guys. It's just like, hey, everyone. We're using main directions to stand up.

I just don't hold on too. Amy saw me being very silly one night. I saw Eloise in action. I was erect. I remember what I was. You were being so. silly and funny but also like incredibly

hot with it and I was just watching a friend of ours Lose his fucking mind he looked like he was kind of like weirdly in shock I don't know what

I've never and he's a confident boy and I've never seen him look like that in my life and I was just stood just on the periphery basically like popcorn like wow look at this

I'll never forget the way Avey was talking to us. It was the funniest. I actually think, where do you live? So you're there and you, so you'll be walking past it. So you should walk her home. Okay. Just trying to work this out logistically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for safety. It was so, but I do have this little thing that I do, anyone can try it. I'm like, can I have a kiss and I make them kiss me on the cheek? And then I go, and again. And I go, and again. And again, and again. And I make them like keep.

doing it. He was like, okay, you're chewing off now. And I was like, I thought you liked it. And then sometimes I go, and on the lips,

and they go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, come. Oh, my respect's gone. I've got to go home.

Goodbye. I'm going to go. I hate you now. Right, fuck you. Fuck you. I'm getting the boss. Hey,

stupid. But yeah, that's one of my favorites going, and again, and again, we're going to try this. Come on,

everyone try it. It's so silly. And I'll like, kiss on the cheek, and they'll go, No. No. And again?

And again? And again? And I'll come in and I'll go, you better fucking kiss around the cheek or I'll fucking have something to say. And then they're immediately aroused. I'll come around and sort out these. No. Anyway, stupid, stupid, silly.

I love you. Oh, we love you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Round of applause. How we started. Wow. It looks like I've met a turtle again.

What a woman. What a whirlwind. What a woman. What a woman. I want to be. Yeah. Yeah. We could all be a bit more,

Eloise, couldn't we? Yeah. I think she's doing great things. And if you're about when her shows on, you should go and see it. I thought it was one of the best shows I've seen in a long time. Harriet, it was so good.

It was so well written, so well performed. It was really positive, really feminist. And she's like so powerful. in it because she's being hot and like pointing out how it's ridiculous

to judge her for, oh, I can't even explain it. It's so, I think it's a masterclass in stand-up and performing. I think it's fantastic. So you should go see her. Go see her. And in the meantime, you can follow her on Instagram.

She puts up lots of little cute clippies. Yeah. Funny clipies. Yeah. And her at, her handle is at Weezer Squeezer. You heard me. It's true.

It's true. I'm not fibbing. It's wheezer, squeaser. We love you. We love you all. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.

Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont. And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding. That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah. This changes people's lives. If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up?

An in-depth look at summo wrestling and the scandals. because it used to be considered so honorable, like sumos, and they all live together, Sumos. No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just message loads of Derricks? I don't think people know that. I emailed 100 Derricks. I don't think it was Derricks.

I thought it was Brian. Sorry, Brian. Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook. Our podcast is out every Friday. It's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again. Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains, one of the hottest podcasts. People are going crazy for this podcast.

Yeah, please give it a listen. We're loaded up on buzz balls. We've got a Luboo in both hands, and we are ready to screech.