Single Ladies In Your Area - ICKS (and what to do about them)

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

This week Amy and Harriet discuss the dreaded dating problem of Getting The Ick. What is the difference between an ick and a red flag? How do you push through after getting the ick? And is a shark-tooth necklace the ick of all icks?Support the podcast and enjoy early and ad-free listening, BTS content and more by subscribing to our Patreon at patreon.com/singleladiesinyourareaWe want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespod and Twitter @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Matt Crockett and Linda Blacker.Design by Welcome Studio. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I learned to harden my heart. Leading me closer to my purpose. Be patient with what's coming. Stories that heal. Share yours. Together, we are unsinkable. Weareunsinkable.com Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill.

And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on.

If we manage to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Hello there. We are back.

And this week we're talking about ics. Not red flags. Different, actually, it turns out, Harriet. It turns out very different. It's just something that absolutely just repulses you about a person. We found a wide range from people of X and I'm worried I might have become a lunge. We're back. We find ourselves back in the studio. We're talking like news readers. We're reporting on something very tragic. Welcome to the terrible news. We're still single. No one wants us.

Oh, God. There's been a tragedy in the London area. Two ladies are alone. Let's have an update. How are things going with you? They're actually good. I've been having a bit of fun, I guess. Yes. I was kind of seeing somebody, I guess, for a bit, but that has guess. Okay. Yes. I was like kind of seeing somebody,

I guess, for a bit, but that has not worked out. Okay. That is very much not worked out. I'm sorry. Thank you. No, I think it's just like, I like clarity, I guess.

I just want to know. And I think sometimes you're trying to second guess somebody and that doesn't work. I just want somebody to be really upfront and clear. God, that would be nice, wouldn't it? It would be so nice.

I like you this much and I can give you this much. I cannot give you that. So what do we do about this then? Yes, this is exactly it. I just want clearness. And I'm not interested in anyone that isn't interested in me. But then sometimes you're like, I guess they like me. And then other people are like, I think they like you.

And then they're acting like they like you. And then you're like, oh, no, they're not. They don't. But, oh, it's so confusing, isn't it? Because sometimes you're like, oh, that person definitely likes that person. But unfortunately, that person is thick and shit at it. And so they do like them, but their actions are making the other person feel like they don't,

which is the equivalent of them not liking them. Because the outcome for the person... It's still the same. It's still the same. You feel unloved and you feel confused and you feel in limbo and that's shy. Yes, I just want to be confused. And so I had a bit of fun.

Oh, my God, Harriet. I was like, I'm just so I had a bit of fun. Oh, my God. I was like, right, I'm just going to have a bit of fun. And so I think because I can't get drunk very often because I have a baby. Yeah. Like once every few months, I can probably like get drunk. And then I'm like, this is it. We've got to go. We've got to go.

Time's ticking. I kissed a boy. And I think I might be lunging. I think I'm lunging slightly because I'm out of practice of knowing. I'm not very patient either. So I'm like, if we're going to do this, let's do it. And then I lunge a little bit. You must be getting a vibe before you lunge.

But then I think you need to just maybe wait to be, I feel like I'm a lunge. Well, it must have worked out well. Yeah, I had a lot of cares. It was all fine. Was it end of the night? End of the night. Like a little kiss goodbye. Yeah,

very sweet. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. I think it's good because, yeah, I'd got caught up with this other person,

but then I'm going on a third date with the internet person. And so, yeah, I'm just like putting myself back out there. I'm delighted for you. Thank you. I had the opposite. I had a boy who I could feel was about to lunge. And I was like, oh, maybe, maybe.

Oh, I don't know. And then spoke to my friend who was there. I was just like, what do I do? Should I kiss him? And she was like, he's seconds away from kissing me. I was like, is he? Is he? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.? And she was like, he's seconds away from kissing me that point. I was like, is he, is he?

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And I went, no, he's not. And then she's like, he won't stop looking at you. And I was like,

really? And we walked somewhere and stood behind a curtain and then she went, when we pull the curtain back, he's going to be looking at you. And I was like, don't be daft.

She pulled the curtain back, he was literally just stood looking at me. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. But then I got in my head. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. But then I got in my head. It's my equivalent in male form. We found him.

Hello. Just find the curtain. All he's doing is a very tall man, actually. And then I was like toon and froan about it. And then I decided, yeah, I'll probably do this. But I'd waited so long that he was kissing someone else. No! I was like, that is totally fair.

And then... No, that's not totally fair. Loyalty is dead. He can't wait 10 minutes for you to just go around the corner. It was about two hours. And it was the very end of the night. And then I think he'd gone... I think he'd taken a leaf out of your book. Maybe he's got kids.

Maybe he's like, right, I've got 16 minutes. Come on. But then I thought about it afterwards and I realised I didn't, I didn't really want to kiss him otherwise I would have kissed him. If you're thinking about it, yeah. So I was like, I'm really glad I didn't do that. His behaviour is unnerving, I would say. I understand what you're on the back foot about it.

Yes. So what are you scared about with lunging or with this third date? I'm scared about ending up on a list. Yes, yes. I think I'm like, rather than putting myself out there, but I'm scared of getting attached, I guess, for people that it's not quite right with.

I'm very scared of being like trapped in something that's not right and then I'm like oh god now we've got to get back there at the moment there's really no risk of being trapped um so it's not it's not quite clear why I'm scared of that and no one is trying to trap me if anything they're trying to escape but you're trapping yourself yes this is what this is what I'm scared of too I'm'm really worried about going, oh, this person's so brilliant. I think I'll just think about them all the time now and then that's done. Yeah.

But we can't do that. No. We must cool our jets. Yes. Rational. Yes. And I'd like to be pursued a little bit rather than just me lunging.

Got a twitch in my eye. You did when you said lunging. When you said lunging, you did a little switch like, must lunge now. Amy, move back. Oh, God. It's lunge time.

Oh, no. Like a werewolf. I think it's good. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. God. But yes, I'm scared. I'm scared of you. Thank you. Thank you. God. But yes, I'm scared.

I'm scared of feelings. Also, I've realised, well, no, I didn't realise. My therapist told me, she was like, the people deal with life in something like seven different ways. It's the different ways that you perceive the world. And it's like emotional. Yes. Problem solving?

No. Yeah. Yes, exactly, exactly. And it was all the ones and she told me all seven of them and she went, I think she's a fantastic therapist, FYI, but she went,

which do you think you are? And I was like, and she was so flabbergasted that I didn't immediately go, emotional. And she was like, she let me think for like five seconds. She was like, emotional.

So you're, yes, you're definitely emotional. Yes. But that's it. Okay. No, but I'm emotional. And so maybe we need to find problem solvers. Yeah. Rather than work on ourselves, let's find somebody that can fill that hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did see a clip on TikTok. I'm not even going to pretend I read it in a book. I saw a clip and it was about, I think it was like married at first sight. She had this, I don't want to say period disease. PNDD. PNDD. I've got that. Yeah, so I literally have heard about it the last few days from people

and like what a big overwhelming thing it is yes oh my god this bride was telling her very recent husband that she had not known before that she had this thing

premenstrual dysphoric disorder yes and he handled it so well and he was like I want to be here for you and he was like just really like calm

and she was like upset and saying like I'm not going to be myself like a lot of the time and he was like well I'm going to be there and it was like just really like calm and she was like upset and saying like I'm not going to be myself like a lot of the time and he was like well I'm going to be there and it was just like oh wow

like you can have emotions and men can listen to them it shouldn't be a shock yes you shouldn't learn from married at first sight it shouldn't be a shock but

it was really good that she shared it because it's hard to sort of it's really hard and I mine is completely controlled now thank the lord but wasn't good that she shared it because it's hard to sort of it's really hard and I mine is completely controlled now thank the lord but wasn't and then for like three to four days a month I'd be

absolutely unhinged but like just so sad and reality would shift quite substantially and even though I have all the tracking apps and I have it in my calendar, and even to the extent where my writing partner, who's a male, and we do not talk about bodily functions or anything like that. No, you mustn't.

You can't. You cannot. We have a shared calendar. Well, we don't need it now. But we had a shared calendar where he'd put in where my pre-period was going to be. So we wouldn't book in gigs. We wouldn't book in writing. we wouldn't book in writing,

and he'd check in. Yeah, he's the best. Oh my God. I know, I know. He's the best guy in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all love him.

Boring! Yes, yes. And that's so lovely. So PMDD is a thing that means you're very reactive to hormonal changes. And I misunderstood and thought it was your body reacting to hormones. So when I got birth control, I opted for the coil with no hormones in it. But then that meant every cycle, my fluctuations were just going up and down.

And so I would be like really struggling. And then only a few years ago, I went and it was the first time I saw like a female sexual health clinic woman and she was like right we're gonna do your I needed to get my coil read on and she was like well do you have any problems with that and I was like oh yeah like I feel absolutely like tank into sadness every month and she was like oh PMDD and I was like yeah and then she was like oh well why aren't you having the hormonal coil and I was like because you PMDD and I was like yeah and then she was like oh well why aren't you having the hormonal coil and I was like because I'm allergic to hormones I can't have hormones and she was like no no no no you're allergic to the fluctuation if we give you the same amount of

every single day via the coil you will be fine and I was like oh I was so scared about getting it I feel absolutely fine and have for years that's amazing but then it was really sad that I was like, oh, I was so scared about getting it. I feel absolutely fine and I have for years. That's amazing. But then it was really sad that I was like, well, I've had like 15 years of like really struggling and then they just popped it up because a woman just listened to me for 30 seconds and now I'm fine. Anyway, that's quite the digression.

No, I think that's really good to talk about it and I think it's really good to kind of understand that yes, we're responsible for quite a lot of our emotions yeah annoyingly I am responsible for all my emotions that is annoying now yeah that is our bodies are the containers I risked being different with nothing but love stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable weareunsinkable.com

and how do you kiss someone? Amy you just got a lunge Harriet we got some big things to talk about this week we only talk about the big topics. Only the big topics. We're talking ics and we're talking red flags. And they're not the same.

No. I thought maybe they were, but they're not. They're not the same because I think ics, just something that makes you feel like a bit sick and a red flag could lead to your death. Yes, okay. Well, there you go. So we reckon an ick is something that's coming from you,

something that's personal. So it's your opinion. Whereas a red flag is something more universal and it's something that could be an indicator of unhealthy behaviour or manipulation or something that's universally a bad thing. Whereas socks and sandals, even though I believe it should be universally a bad thing, it's not.

Some people get off on that, Harriet. Wow. Everyone's different, I guess. Everyone makes the world a beautiful place. Everyone's different. Okay, I want to hear some of your icks. I made a little list. I'm really excited

i think oh i would say i've been out with people who i've so i've overlooked all of these ics at some point and if you can get over do what my top one is it's so weird oh god circus skills Oh, God. Circus skills. But out in the wild. Yes. Yes. Circus skills in a circus. Amazing. Fantastic.

Yes. Circus skills out in the wild. Yes. I see you doing... Diablo. Diablo or poi. Mustn't be doing Diablo. I'm so sorry, but I feel ill. I completely get that.

Because it's like, it's a bit like, especially when they're just doing it, they're like, oh, I'm just doing it like as if like I just love doing this but it's like you want to be looked at yeah you want us to look at you and be like look at that Diablo go you know like that's it's and I just don't think it's impressive no I don't think it's impressive I agree like I just don't and when they're like just like going yeah I'm just doing my Diablo and um yeah if you look that's cool if you don't that's cool and it's just like going yeah i'm just doing my diabolo and um yeah if you look that's cool if you don't that's cool and it's just like this is so as a skill this is wank as fuck you might as well be doing a yo-yo i would be more impressed with a yo-yo yeah because it's less like oh i'm in such

an alt culture like do you know what i mean it's almost like speaks so much about your philosophy yeah and there's a smugness to circus you can't you can't do a circus skill without a little smug look on your face you absolutely can't I hate it and I'm so like I've been out with a boy who worked in the circus I worked at a circus but oh and I used to I used to really really like this guy as well but he used to do slacklining I can just see you sat on a picnic blanket as your boyfriend

ties up his slack wire just in your head you're thinking oh not again but you're you're blocking it out I'm blocking it out oh god

I just it just I think it's I'm so sorry to people that do it I'm sure you're people that do it. I'm sure you're lovely people, but you make me feel physically sick. I don't ever want to touch your naked bodies.

And when they're almost doing it, like, oh, I don't know. I just, I guess I'm doing it for me, but also like for you. It's like a man with a guitar at the end of the night. Everyone's like, oh. No, please. I just want to entertain everybody. I'm mainly doing it for you guys. No, you're not.

This is my gift for everybody at the party. And I understand coming from a comedian saying like, well, I just think it's a bit narcissistic actually. We're walking icks, absolutely. Oh, 100%. We're professional icks. We're professional icks. Yes, yeah, I get it. I get it. 100% we're professional ex we're professional ex yes yeah I get it

I get it so that's one of them yeah I think maybe like this is all kind of a similar vibe and a similar guy shark tooth

necklaces yes Amy yes yes unless you wrestled that shark and you pulled

that tooth with your bare hands out of that shark. What are you doing? Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And also, it's always like a guy who like lives in the city and he's got like a beaded necklace with a shark's fur. What are you doing? Are you an eight-year-old girl who's just come back from Barcelona?

Like, why have you got that on? Why are you wearing that under a shirt? Yeah. Particularly at a certain age. Like, there was a guy I was seeing who was older and one day I just saw something poking out of his shirt. His shirt, he was an actual man. Yeah.

Who wore shirts on a daily basis. And I saw it and I was like, that's it. I'm never, ever going to know you again. See, I don't think it's the shark tooth. I think it and I was like that's it I'm never ever going to know you again I don't think it's the shark tooth I think it's the leather the leather it's what do you call it leather thong like a leather like um the strap it's the leather scrappy bit because you know whatever's on it like it's gonna stink as well it's gonna smell of vinegar do you know like when people keep their festival wristbands on have you ever smeltelt them? Nope. It's vinegar. It's pure human vinegar.

It's a match. This one's far more general and maybe a bit sinister really, if you think about it, but always like fantasizing about or like putting on a pedestal, either very young or very tiny women. Yeah. I'm like, oh, you're creeping me out. Like going,

oh, and she was only 21. Oh, oh my God, and she was so tiny. I'm just like, ah. Oh,

she's just so fun to pick up. Ah. Why are you picking her up? Put her down. Stop picking her up. She's another woman. Why are you picking her up? What are you doing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think as well, if you look back at their dating history and if they're all tiny women or all younger women I get age gaps happen understandable sometimes you fall in love with a tiny woman what can you do sometimes you fall in love with a tiny

woman of course but if you look back and it's like they only go for borrow Borrowers. Borrowers or tall young women. There's like a power dynamic thing there where I'm like, what's wrong with you where you have to exert this... You have to have that power in the relationship or it won't work. Bordering into red flag territory. That's a red flag. Interesting. That is a red flag.

I just love picking her up and then I can because then I can run away with her and put her in my boot that's the oh my god there is yeah yes it has just been

pointed out very correctly that that is a red flag yes the power imbalance and I guess light elements

towards paedophilia would be less of a nick and more of a red flag. Yes, yes. Well, this is the point we're making. They're not the same thing. Well, I've just got a few more. I'll go through quick.

Being a nervous driver. That's a big it for me. I know exactly what you mean. I heard someone once say that the hardest thing a man can do is put their arm around the passenger seat as they reverse really confidently. It doesn't even matter if they go straight into a car. That's hot. Oh, yeah.

What's the opposite of an ick? A turn on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parking a car first time, casually. Yeah. Are you kidding? Yeah. Ooh, shut up.

It's me just bouncing off all the cars. Yeah. I can sometimes do it first time, but I do it so slowly and I'm checking every mirror and it's like, this is the least, but when they're just like, bang, bang, do, do, do, do, and you're done and you're like, I just need a minute before we get out of the car. It's like, I just need a minute. we get out of the car. It's all right. I just need a minute. I'm in there. New shoes?

I know exactly what you mean. Because they're a bit precious about them. And they're like, oh, they've got to be a bit careful on this step. And then they're a little bit squeaky. And when they look just too clean compared to like everything else that they're wearing. Yeah,

you just want them to be like, oh, I don't care if it gets dirty. Yeah. I guess, I get exactly what you mean. And I think that is like a bigger thing with men,

I think sometimes you just want them not to be like too precious about anything. You don't like, about like your bodily fluids or about anything. You just want them to be like, oh,

I don't care. I don't care about that. I don't care about dirty shoes or period blood. Oh, you shut yourself. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. You just want them to be like, oh, I don't care. I don't care about that. I don't care about daddy's shoes or period blood. Oh, you shut yourself. Don't worry about it, babe. Don't worry about it. We all do.

Oh. Yeah. Because you want to be able to be comfortable and relaxed. Yeah. So if they're very precious about like, this is my new bag.

I don't want to put it on the ground. I'll be like, oh, fuck off. Yeah, I completely agree. And not real glasses. Yeah. You know, when they wear glasses that are the fake glasses.

Yeah. Whoa. No way. What are you doing? You're trying to cosplay as Jeffrey Dahmer. What is happening here? Please. Now, that would be a red flag, I would say.

Cosplaying as a murderer? Red flag. ASOS glasses? Ick. Yeah. Yeah. as a murderer? Red flag. ASOS glasses? Ick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I completely get that.

Anyway, it's a lovely list. Thank you. Yeah. I stand by all of them. I agree with that. I think you're right. Oh, thank you so much. And I hope you never meet a man that has any of those.

Well, imagine I bring in a boyfriend and I'm like, this is Trevor. He's got a shark tooth necklace, thick glasses. He's got a shark tooth necklace, fake glasses. He's juggling. In brand new shoes. Amy has given up. Oh no, she's not doing good.

We need an intervention. He's parked outside and it's parked shitly. And you've seen him trying to do it for two and a half hours and he's had to abandon it our bodies are the containers i risked being different with nothing but love stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable. Weareunsinkable.com You've got to get in there and sniff them. Hello, this is Harriet. And Amy. From Single Ladies in Your Area,

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We'll see you there. Roses are red. Violets are blue. We've matched on an app. What you up to? Mine, I guess, is that orange Dorito stuff around the mouth. Oh, no. One of my posters is literally...

No, you can do it because you're beautiful. You can do it, but it's like the idea of a man coming towards you. I think I got scarred by a boyfriend because I don't like that orange stuff. I think it's mainly stuff I don't like. I don't want on them. I also don't like banana peels.

If they put a banana peel in a waste paper basket, I would have to leave immediately. What? Really? It's just not for me. I would have to leave immediately. What? Really? Yeah, it's just not for me. Like, I just don't like that. So where are they meant to be, banana peels? Away from me. But, like, in a...

Don't eat a banana in front of me. I just, if a man was to eat a banana in front of me, I just, I don't know what I'd do. That's fascinating. And that has happened in my own home, and I haven't been happy about it. It's just things I don't like. And I just, I remember this this boyfriend he always used to eat

what's it and he always just used to have them but like not in like yours the way you did it on your lips was like kind of beautiful it was like a kind of yeah thank you very much like a beautiful um lipstick but this was just like a few bits just in the beard and around in the mouth tasted of it yeah I can still taste it now. And it was like 20 years ago. Oh my God. That's how bad it was. Wow. I hate that.

I hate little socks. I totally get that. Oh my God, I totally get that. Why are you hiding your socks? What have you got to hide? That's so funny. Because you have such a strong sock game. I've told you before.

We both do, I think. We're very into socks these days. No, but I've told you before. We both do, I think. We're very into socks these days. No, but I've told you, you are my inspiration. I'm very into socks. Harriet bought me my first cool pair of socks after I was like, can you talk to me about your socks? I just think you do the sock stuff really well and I'd just like to get on board with that cool trainer

if that's okay. And instead of being like, actually I'm a gatekeeper, you were like, you went and you bought me the coolest pair of socks I own which is the nicest thing. So I can totally understand why you'd be like, a trainer sock? A trainer sock, what are you doing? And then, oh, I once went home with a guy and we were about to have sex and then a spider ran across his room and I ordered a cab immediately. It suddenly took me out and I was like, absolutely not.

I'm sorry. Wait, you can't have an ick that a boy might have a spider in his room. I can, and I have,

and I was completely naked and I put all my clothes on and ordered an Uber and I never spoke to him again, which I do that and I do feel bad about that, but I was just so grossed out about the spider

and then it just suddenly made me be like I want to be here where there's spiders this is horrible oh my god but how did he deal with the spider

because that would that would be a game changer for me I don't think he saw it I just saw it and I was like absolutely not wow

get me out of here wow and I got myself out of there yeah you see because I'm I hate spiders so much if a guy can deal with a spider for me that's like when they're like i've got this don't worry about it they keep calm they keep me calm they're like i've got this i'm like oh god oh my god it's

like you've just parked a car for the time but if they're like oh my god there's a spider or if they're if i'm going right there's a spider i can't deal with it. And they're like, it's only a spider. Get over it. Yeah, that's really condescending. Yeah, the hottest is if they get a glass and they get a little piece of paper and then they trap the spider so they don't even kill it. And then they walk towards the window and then they put it out the window. Oh my God, stop.

I'm just like, wow, you saved me from the spider. You care about the spider. You value the spider's life. You value my life. You value saved me from the spider. You care about the spider. You value the spider's life. You value my life. You value my life, the spider. Yeah, I think it just brought me to the room and I was like, oh, God. He's just keeping spiders in here. Like, what is happening?

What is happening? Oh, you just love a roast, do you? I actually found out an ick about myself this guy that I was seeing ages ago he was like oh yeah like I remember like

I had to like learn all about like your allergies and stuff like about your EpiPen and like it was just like a lot and it was like

it was just really weird and I was like wait you're saying my EpiPen was an ick and he was like yeah yeah EpiPen was a bit of an ick and I actually kind of loved that because I think

that's a very harsh ick I guess we're all fallible and mine is just me carrying around my two EpiPens do you know what disgusting my inhaler my asthma inhaler will be an ick oh my god yeah when nobody I don't even think you could be neutral about that i think that's always gonna be like i actually think it's cute i think it's cute no and a little asthma like a little like that's like really cute when someone's stabbing you in the thigh with an epi pen in the middle of an airport but that's dramatic that's like so intense it's almost romantic they're saving your life not the way i do it I've been near a rabbit oh god I'll just walk past

pets at home we're gonna need to stop for a minute if that's alright whereas you're like I could die unless you save me

like wow he's superman and he's like no sorry that's a bit gross it's a no for me yeah thank you get that thing away from me.

I'll never be able to look at her again. Horrible. Harriet, I've put a dog with tits on my profile. Because I did a little shout out for anybody that had any icks. One said, opening crisp packets near me. Yeah, there's no way. I actually know I actually have seen that done. I have. I've. Yeah, there's no way. I actually have seen that done.

I have seen that done in a hot way. It's just like you have to be very like, you have to be really strong with it. They have to open it really strongly because if it's like a, oh, you know, like, I can't quite get fumbling. I guess we don't like fumbling. We don't like fumbling. You need to be certain, I think.

Yeah, well, you see, because I like crisps so much, if a guy walked over to me and confidently opened a packet of crisps and opened them where it's like down the side, put it on the table, I'd be like, oh, my God. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's lovely. Yeah.

What's in those crisps? Literally any crisp. Not beef. Not beef flavour. And if it's ready salted, I'm going to be like, come on. Come on, mate. Please. Try.

Just try a bit. Yeah. But basically anything else. I hate to say it, even like, what's it? It's like, I know you're not, that would give you the ick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would give me the more, please. Ickle bit more, if you don't mind. The ick's in the ick. That would give me the more please. Ickle bit more

if you don't mind. The icks and the ickle bit mores. Ickle bit more of that. We also have long socks, short trousers from Heather.

It depends who it's on. Like if it's on like a skateboarding type then it's like they just gotta let their legs breathe, you know, getting up and down those ramps,

getting a bit of airflow. But yes, on an adult man going into the office, I get that. Yeah. They're swinging ankle swingers. Ankle swingers. Yeah.

Socks are a big thing. You're right. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong. We've got one slow walker. I'm a very slow walker. And I do understand that's unattractive. I think it's how you you're wrong. We've got one slow walker. I'm a very slow walker. And I do understand that's unattractive. I think it's how you're walking slowly. Like if you're like looking around and taking in the...

I'm not. I'm very much looking down at my feet because I'm scared I'm going to topple over. I've usually got a rucksack on that's too big for my body. And I'm just walking very slow. Both hands up on the rucksack. Looking down. That's hot.

I walk like a sort of, like a four, five-year-old when they've like, they can walk, sure, but they're not like super confident. Yeah. Yeah, I've never sort of progressed my walking past that. You think my toddler might be better than you? 100%. I've seen her. She's an absolute legend. 100%.

She's quite a fast walker, actually. I wish I could walk like her. Yeah, well, maybe you come around and she'll show you. I'd love that so much. She'll take you on a walk and she'll show you what to do. I'm doing this for the men. I'm doing this to attract a man. This one from Kate, I think, is beautifully specific.

So Kate says, Watching your boyfriend chase a table tennis ball with his hands out in front trying to catch it like i totally get it because it keeps bouncing and then they go they go to get it and then it goes i think that's really funny i think that's really funny one here that says oh from charlotte Hello, Charlotte. Laughing with their tongue out. Saw one guy do it and I felt ill. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, I get it. Ha, ha, ha. Like a dog? I don't know how they're doing it. I think you just, you have to try and reframe it. Like, I had an ex that when he thought he'd stick his tongue out, like, to think, it was like his, like,

sometimes it would happen, like, during sex as well. No, no, no. Because it's funny because it's his tongue out like to think it was like his like sometimes it would happen like during sex as well no no no Harriet and his tongue would be out but I think you just after a point you just do you just do block them out

we just gotta get fingered by pancake day I think rose tinted glasses really do dampen the icks you know what I mean I think so and I think rose-tinted glasses really do dampen the icks. You know what I mean? I think so, and I think I've really enjoyed watching Nobody Wants This. I don't think you've watched it yet. No. It's on

Netflix, and it's by this writer, Erin Foster, and Adam Brody is in it. Adam Brody is so hot. Oh my god, Adam Brody was a formative crush on me. Oh god, and now he's back, and it it's like it's this really beautiful I really recommend it to everybody

because it's a really lovely kind of like romance about like being in your 30s and finding love like as adults and it's like a very healthy romance

and he's like doing all the right things and he's very communicative and he's very like he's like clearly the character is written by a woman but he's like everything

that you would want you know you're like wow it is possible oh because a woman created it but um it's really lovely and um at one point in one of the episodes she has an ick from something that he's doing like he has this like sports jacket and then he also like yells something

like a bit too enthusiastically kind of with an accent and she's like oh like you see the like the screen kind of go funny she's like no like she's just like that's, like you see the like the screen kind of go funny. She's like, no, like she's just like, that's it, I guess. And the character is like, I guess that's it. You know, like I've got the ick, like that's over. And I think so many people, you just get that feeling and you're like, well, that's it. It's over. But it kind of the story is there's going to be ick. This is more than that.

And it's kind of a really lovely look at like, look, you're going to have little icks. You just got to keep going. You just got to kind of work past it. And to understand as well that everyone's a bit icky everyone's icky except us but other than us and our listeners just get over my nut allergy and if I can fix my little lungs yeah then um that's so interesting well I think watching Married at First Sight, which is becoming my education, I think it's really interesting when couples meet on the wedding day. They are like, oh, my God, we're perfect for each other. Instant connection, instant bond, instant chemistry.

Then you see them on the honeymoon and you see them in real time kind of going, oh, actually, there's a lot of icks here and a lot of things I don't like. And then they pull right back and then you think oh well they're done they're absolutely done and then later on in the series when they've like worked through stuff and they actually become really strong again and it's really interesting because they wouldn't have stayed together if it wasn't for this tv show slash social experiment and i think it's really interesting to go, oh, right, so you might have this initial rush of chemistry and excitement and lust and then when the reality sets in of like,

oh, that's how they do their shoes or that's how they sleep, that's how they cook or whatever, and you go, oh, not for me, and normally you would leave. But if you just stick at it, I think you can work past them. It's just like Stockholm stockholm syndrome that's it yeah you have to develop stockholm syndrome just have to fall in love with the person that's trapped you but we trap ourselves we have to fall in love with ourselves yes give ourselves the ick and then work through it i wonder if that's a thing like are the things that you give yourself

the ick over oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more in reference to, like, other people. Like, oh, God, if someone else saw this, that would be so embarrassing. That's true, yeah. I was about to send a message the other day. I was on a train and the message, thank God, I just thought, I'll just reread this message once.

The message was so bad and icky that I said, I had headphones in and I said out loud, fucking hell. Because I forgot I was on a train and I read the message back and it was an analogy about pebbles on a beach. And I was like, what am I doing? And I like genuinely gave myself the ick. And I was like, I am repulsive. That is repulsive. If somebody had sent me that message

if I had been the recipient I would never speak to them again and it was only like a nice message but I was like oh right interesting how my brain can give me the ick I completely get that and I think also it's that thing where sometimes if I'm a bit too loud or I just blurt something out and then like everyone's a bit jarred oh god that's like so embarrassing yeah yeah gross so there's a lot of it you can have a nick over anything and I think it's good to talk about it and to share it because I think it's otherwise it builds in your head and you're like oh my god he's opening the crisps again um And so it's good to talk about it and share it and be like, everyone gets a little bit weirded out by stuff, but it doesn't mean that this person is not right for you.

But if you're repulsed by everything they're doing, then I think it's time to move to France or something. Yeah, that's the only logical thing to do there. Got to move to France, I'm afraid. Yeah, he got his poi out. I got to go. I'm so sorry. I put the euro to dare, I'm afraid. Yeah, he got his poi out. I gotta go. I'm so sorry. I put the Euros down, I'm sorry.

Good luck with your Diablo career. Gotta go. I've gotta go. It's Calais for me. Yes, and let's remember that the X are different to red flags, which indicate something more serious. Yes. We're not saying overlook them.

No. And there'll be another episode on them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because a lot, I would say the main thing, and it was on my list and a lot of people sent in, the main thing that people said was being rude to service staff, clicking at waiters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would have that as like my top, my top, top ic, but it's not an ick it's a red flag because it indicates you have no respect you have no respect you have no empathy

you're probably deep down quite a shitty person when it comes to it so we're not if you've sent that in and you're like why aren't they saying this this is a huge one

it is a huge one but it's a red flag rather than an ick FYI. Looking for your perfect place to call home? Lethbridge Land is shaping the future of our city with incredible communities like Crossings, Riverstone and Watermark. Each neighbourhood is designed with innovation,

passion and responsibility to enrich your life today and strengthen Lethbridge for tomorrow. From vibrant urban hubs to serene, cooley views, there's a community waiting for you. Discover the lifestyle you've been dreaming of in a Lethbridge Land community. Visit lethbridgeland.ca and take the first step towards your new home today. Sitting on the edge of a bathtub. Carrying both heartbreak and deep gratitude relearning my worth

stories that heal share yours together we are unsinkable we are unsinkable.com hello me again amy gladhill but this time i'm with not Not Harriet Kemsley. Whoa! WT, fuck! What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Off at Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast that's not about the news. Don't worry, single ladies.

No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single. No. It's about the North. And all of our stories are about couples. That is not the truth, Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff. It's funny stuff that's going on up north that we're reporting back on.

Things like? Pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in bath mat. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Knappett, Ed Gamble and Ross Noble, who joined us in the studio.

Woo-hoo! Yeah! So that's Northern News, starting next Thursday, the 1st of May, and then every Thursday after that. Join us.