Single Ladies In Your Area - Lily Allens Album And Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This week Amy and Harriet discuss Lily Allen’s incredible tell-all album West End Girl, as well as the viral article by Chanté Joseph: Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? (Spoiler: it is)Harriet is going on tour with her brand new show 'Floozy' in autumn 2026. For tickets and information head to plosive.co.uk.Enjoy extra content on Patreon at patreon.com/SingleLadiesInYourAreaAnd do check out one of our favourite dating apps - Feeld.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, this is Harriet Kemsley, and I'm very excited to be back on tour around the UK with my new show, Flusi. As listeners of the podcast will know, I am really trying my best to be a bit of a flusie, but it's not going particularly well. The dates are on sale now. It's going to be autumn 2026. For tickets and information, head to plosive.com.com. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down.

But we're back out there. We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on.

Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Oh, hello. Hello. How are you doing? doing. I'm good, thank you. I'm frazzled, but we're blaming the moon.

We're blaming that bastard moon, because what a week. It's just one of them weeks. I feel like everyone's having one of them weeks. Everyone's having a real week of it, I think. I was in tears this morning. Basically because I couldn't get an Uber, which is maybe the worst sentence I've ever said. Mabel has started to, I get Ubers with her quite a lot

because it's just easier, and then she started to say, are we going to get an Uber? You can't. Mabel, do not say that. Don't say that. Don't say that. You're not like that if you say that. But I'm just like anything that can make my life.

100%. Easier in that moment. 100%. When you have a toddler and everything and there's no one to help you then I'm like. Yeah. And also when you don't have a toddler and you just need help.

And also when you don't have a toddler and you need to get somewhere. Exactly. I completely am on your side. But just just for my own sake to give some context, I had to have two meetings. meetings today and I thought, well, I'll, before you came in here. So I thought, well, if I book an Uber, I know that's a journey and I've got time

where I'm not doing anything so I can make that time productive by doing two meetings. Then I couldn't, I could not for love no money get an Uber or a bolt or even a bloody black cap. Oh, I was running all of them. Oh, I was running all of them. Then be like, who's going to win this? Oh, no one's interested. Fair enough.

Yeah. And then I, then you like cancel on. Then like, try and book again. I'm trying the priority. I'm trying the comfort. I was trying everything. And then it got to the point where it's like, well, I'm going to be late.

So I had to get on the bus. And then I had to do one of the calls on the bus. Oh, it was just a stressful morning. Yeah, it's really stressful. I think trying to do lots of things at the same time, trying to. And when the plan changes, it's, I don't know. Like, I've just been feeling a bit overwhelmed.

And I got a bit cross on Saturday with my ex-husband because he'd said he'd help me with something. And you know what? I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have even let him, though. But this is like, I'm not even like being like, I, I, first of all, I shouldn't have believed it when he said he wanted to do it. Like, I shouldn't have believed it. Why would I believe that?

But, like, he was being nice. And also, it's not his job anymore. Like, it's not his job in any way. To be fair, it's the bed that he sleeps on. And so he may be getting involved. But he's like, he's generally really good. It was just a confusing thing where I was just listening to the words he was saying and not listening to the truth, which was he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to help me. And that's

fine. He doesn't have to. Like, I'm not his responsibility. And it's you get into old habits. And I think he also was like, you can be a bit dismissive, like the way you speak to me. And I can. Like, that's absolutely fair. I can. And like, in the moment, I wouldn't admit it. I just wouldn't take any responsibility for it. And I hope he doesn't listen to this podcast because I will not say it to his face. But I'd literally been saying to Johnny, like, I need to be a bit of more patient with him, like it's not fair. But because you have that, you have that history there. And you have those, like, it's just so, I don't know.

But then anyway, we had this disagreement. And he accused me of having PMDD, which I know that you have. And I was so furious. I was so furious. It was one day before my period started, which is unrelated to anything. I just started messaging, like, every woman I know that. I don't have PMDD. I have post-divourcing you disorder.

I was just so furious. Fair. But fair. Because he was like, you just, like, I don't know why you just seem like more stressed than everyone I know. And I was like, I am going to be just fucking... Well, stress than everyone he knows. Yeah, it's because everyone he knows. It's just like single male comics that are sitting around playing video games.

Obviously, I'm going to be more stressed than then. What are you talking about? My, my, my. Yeah. But he means well and I, yeah, I was so furious. But then anyway, I hired... a task rabbit guy, which I've never done on my own because I was always so worried about murder

and I was so worried about getting murdered by a task rabbit guy. This guy came, he got all the work done in 45 minutes. It was, he built a bed in 45 minutes. It was actually insane. He smiled the whole time. And as a... Wait, the whole time. That is creature.

Not the whole time. Hey, do you have an Alan Key? Do you do. I say this to as well. I was so worried about. about getting murdered by a tariffy guy, Bobby is statistically more likely to murder me. He's going to be the person that kills me

because he has all this anger and resentment towards me, which is fair enough, it's because of my behaviour a lot of the time. But this guy has nothing. He's just coming to do a job and he's doing it so well and so quickly. And now, because I was feeling so helpless, because I was like, I can't do this on my own, so I need you, and I'm asking you to do it.

And you don't seem to want to do it, which is so weird, why wouldn't you want to do, like, menial jobs for your ex-wife? I don't understand what's happening here. And then I was like, oh, I can delegate and I can pay somebody the same way with like an Uber or something where you're like, fuck, somebody else can take this off my hands.

I'm not helpless. Oh, God. You're not helpless. Because we can pay men to do things. Let's see. But yeah, I've used TaskRabbit and I think they're angels from this guy. I think they're incredible. I couldn't believe it.

I was like, I no longer need anyone. I wonder if there's a TaskRabbit printing guy. I bet there is. I bet they do it for you. Do you know, we could be. sponsored by TaskRabbit, but I just feel like it's just slightly too un-feminist for single ladies' podcast to be like, pay men to do all the jobs. No, but there's women on there as well.

Oh, there's female. TaskRabbit people. Okay, perfect. It's just because when I've been on, because it gives you like a list of people who are like available. I've never seen a woman. Well, you're looking at the pictures. You're like, he's hot, he's hot.

He's hot. I want this guy. It's a dating app. And it's great because they're putting shelves up. I'm on Hinge. I'm on TaskRabbit. What are you on? I'm on Uber.

What? Well, you get a picture of them, you get to see their rating. They will not show up, but it's not going well. Is this flirting? Okay, well, it's been one of them weeks. Been one of those weeks. But you know who's had one of them years? A couple of years?

Yeah, a couple of old years. But my God, have they spun it into gold? Absolute gold. We're talking, of course, about Lily Allen. Oh, my God. Listen, I love this album. I love it. I can't stop listening to it.

I can't stop listening to it. Pussy Palace? What, like, just the phrase, pussy palace. I was walking around. Why is everything not called? Well, yeah. That's what my house is called now. Number two, Pussy Palace.

I was listening to it on my huge... Number two. It's not even number one. No, I know. Wow. Come on, I must get some higher self-esteem. It's the second... It's the second Pussy Palace.

I'm not number one. I'm not number one. I'm not number one. Pussy Palace. Obviously, I'm number two, pussy palace. I was listening to it on my headphones, walking around Soho, and there were so many women,

every woman I passed who had headphones on, I was like, I wonder if she's listened to Pussy Palace. And it felt like a real, like, I bet they were. It was the week it had come out, and it felt like everyone was listening to it. So I was like, I wonder if like, and not just women, but I was like, it just felt really like electric.

I was like, I wonder if all these, women are listening to this. It honestly feels like a really, it feels like a big thing. This album feels really big. Yeah. It's female rage. It's female rage.

And it's some of the arguments I was reading were saying that it's somebody, it's a woman, you're meant to be like ashamed and go and hide and when you get cheated on and somebody treats you badly. You're meant to go like, cower into a little hole and just be like, oh, it's fine. Like, don't worry. Like, I'm fine. Don't let anyone know that I'm sad about this. or I'm angry, like you're meant to suppress your feelings.

And she's just put all those feelings out there. And it's like, oh, yeah, fuck, you should be angry. And you do, and like, there's something that's like, by sharing that, like, what's meant to be humiliation. Yeah. And turning it into, like, empowering, like, beautiful, fun, catchy music. It's, oh, I honestly think it's, I don't know what the word seminal means, but I think it's probably seminal. That feels right. Yeah, that feels good.

It's probably semenal. Oh, that pussy palace is full of semen. Let's be clear. Let's not bring a white light into that pussy ballets. Hey, number two, pussy palace. Dry as a bone. Dry as a bone. Number three is a dojo.

Number three is a dojo, annoyingly. So if you've not listened to the album, just in case. Who? Who has it? Who has it? Who is listening that hasn't listened to the album? Yeah. Who is this? Turn off.

I did a gig and I don't know. I was comparing. so I can't remember how we got into it, but I said something about like, oh, like, hopefully it was better than this, but like, oh, you've been to the Pussy Palace. Did you think it was a dojo? And there was just like nothing.

And I was like, oh, fuck. Oh, no. It was Pussy Palace. She's in Pussy Palace. And I'm like, oh my God, ignore me. My only criticism of the album. Well, not even of the album. My only criticism of Lily Allen

is that she genuinely, at some point, believed it was a dood. I don't think I know what a dojo is really. Dojo is somewhere where you go to do martial arts. Oh, so it's like, he's like, this is my flat where I go do martial arts. Yeah. You would. No, come on.

As if you wouldn't believe that. I wouldn't believe that, would I? That they was going to do martial arts. You'd be like, I've made you a lunch for your martial arts. I've washed your clothes. I've got them here for you. You have a lovely time. You have a nice time at your martial arts.

Oh, you've come back very sweaty. Yeah, okay. Do you know what? Yeah, you're absolutely right. Fuck. I would 100% be supportive of your dojo. Yeah, you'd be. When can I come and watch with your dojo?

They'd be like, no, yeah, maybe. I'll clap along. I'll make a little banner. It's just, it's like a private thing where I just, no, I'd love to come to the dojo support, yeah? I've started an Instagram called my boyfriend's dojo. Yeah, no, yeah. To be fair, like that is for me.

But I think, I think more highly. Lily Allen and I'm like, you must have known it wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's not like... You just trust. This is the thing. You just trust. And this is what is the thing when terms are laid out. This is what makes me so furious. I don't like terms being broken. Yeah.

It's they had an agreement. Yeah. The agreement would not be for me. But the agreement was for them. There has to be payment. You can have sex if it's paid for sex. And you can't see them again, I think. It's like one off sexual payments. It's to be blatant. There has to be payment.

It has to be with strangers. But you're not a stranger, Madeline. Fuck. And I know that the woman's name isn't Madeline. I think it's Natalie. It's Natalie. But I think Madeline is an excellent choice of name. It's so good.

It's so good. Branding wise, Madeline, it just really cuts through and you remember it. I think that's excellent. You can see where they got it when she's clearly when she's recording it's saying Natalie. Yeah. She's like, oh, Madeline has the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good.

It's like there's something so fun about things that are meant to be secret as well. You're just meant to like, if you're dating, if you're married to a Hollywood star, you're not meant to be releasing all of this stuff. You mustn't. You mustn't. You mustn't. You're not. You're just the deal.

You're just meant to keep things quiet. Yeah. She's just put it all on the table. She's just like, oh, this. Oh, what are we allowed to say when people are horrible to us? Can I just say, are we allowed to just say it? Yeah. Yeah.

I wouldn't dare. But then it's good because then maybe it starts to have a bit more accountability for your behaviour because you're like, oh, there can be repercussions actually. Yeah. When I was listening to this, I was thinking of all the female comics who I know who have been trep really badly by male comics. And I was like, you thought we wouldn't do a full show about you and be really honest about you. Yeah. Well, maybe we will.

Maybe we fucking will. I mean, I still won't obviously. I'm absolute pussy. And I still believe it's a dojo. I still believe him. But I was like, oh wow, maybe this is like a shift in like female creativity. And maybe we've just like unlocked the next level of like honesty, power, vulnerability, a lack of shame. Like God, and we've talked about it on that episode before, but like when I got cheated on, I kept it a secret because I was so mortified.

This is it. We're tricked into feeling like it's our shame. So you're meant to keep it quiet. You're not going to talk about it. You're going to just like deal with it and then like forgive and like just like keep it your dirty little secret. but it's like it's not your fucking secret. It's their secret. It's nothing to do with you.

It's their stuff. But like they've tricked us that the crazy woman is coming out and she's like angry about the way she's treated. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And also like it felt to me like, oh, I can't talk about being cheated on because then everyone will think that I'm not enough, like, or that I'm too ugly. Or I'm a bad girlfriend. Yeah, if you get cheated on, you're not good enough.

Satisfy someone sexually or, you know, it's like, well, why? Why would they have cheated on me? There must be like some terrible thing about me. So if I say I've been cheated on, then I'm sort of going, I'm shit. Yeah. But it's not that. Yeah.

I can want people off like the best of them, Harriet. Let me tell you that straight away. Thank you for sharing. I mean, we have talked about this and it's hard, isn't it? Sometimes I have two hands. You made it so strong with that. But I feel like I can, I... And you should enter a competition.

And you should find out where you see. I'd like to know where I rank in the handjob Olympics. But I just, I feel like now, I mean, maybe in the future if I got cheated on, maybe I would have done something terrible. No, I don't think like this. I know in the past when I've been cheated on, I haven't done anything wrong. Maybe I've not been perfect, who's perfect, but like I haven't, I don't think I was a bad person and that's why they cheated.

I think they cheated because they were going to cheat. Well, this is it. It's nothing to do with the person they're in a relationship with. It's their own, like David Harbour, clearly, I mean, she mentions about the sex addict. We don't know what's true in the song or what's not true, but she thinks he might be a sex addict at one point. And so it's like it's his own things.

It's nothing to do with her. But it just feels, I think that's, it just feels cruel to marry someone in one term and then let the real you come out. It's like to trap somebody and then say this is, this is who I am and these are actually no terms when the children are introduced, all this stuff, like you finally feel safe. Like, you just know. that feeling so well when you feel safe and you're like, I'm not safe.

Fuck. Can't trust the person. I've built my life around trusting. That's the thing because you trust. Ultimately, when you're in a relationship, you're saying I trust you to be kind with me. Yeah. And I give you this trust and I take my walls down and I'm completely vulnerable. Yeah.

Because I believe I can trust you. And there are so many things that are just hiding in plain sight. Like the card that he sent her with the flouts when she's in her play and he says, these are bad luck flowers because if you do well and you win all these awards, then I will be miserable. And you think that is something that's actively trying to bring you down. Yeah, and he'll be saying it as a kind of like, like, hard joke. But this is a real problem.

And it's probably, I don't think it's even just like the individual men. I think it's like a, not to take blame off the individuals, but I also think it's a very patriarchal thing where if a woman's becoming more successful than their partner. Their partner is like spiky about it. And this is where the album begins is that suddenly she gets some good work. She gets good news.

Yeah. And that's when things change. Because she's no longer just the compliant wife that's moving into the house and doing other things. And so... And he's like, oh, you've got a role in a play

when you didn't have to audition or you should have to audition. Like instantly like cutting her down and I've definitely been there. Several, in several relationships, or with male comics who if you give them anything that's happened in your day that you're like, you're like sharing it with them because you want them to be proud of you and you almost feel like, oh, they'll find me even more attractive if I've got this.

And because we'd be so proud of them. That's what's so sad. We'd be so proud of them. So you're like, oh, it might just be a little thing, but you're like, oh, I'm doing this. I don't know if I said before, but like I wanted a podcast that I really wanted to do that one of my exes hadn't done. and because I did this podcast, he didn't speak to me for two weeks.

And it was like, wow, fuck, that's crazy. And that was purely like his own insecurities or whatever. And I sort of have a little bit of time for that and a little bit of space for that because I understand that's not necessarily about me, it's about them. Then why are you being punished? Yeah, and I know what I was punished. Like the silent treatment for,

for me is what absolutely sends me under. I would rather you shout at me. I would rather anything. If you're silent with me, I go into this like freeze mode where I can't even like get out of it and I just feel so upset and I don't know how to sort of,

I don't know how to get out of someone being, giving you the silent treatment. And I feel like this, where Lily Allen starts the album, it's a very similar thing of like, I had some good news. I told my partner who's in the same, industry or a similar industry

and he wasn't happy for me and immediately tried to cut me down like that is, for me that is just such like a toxic, toxic trait that just tells you so much about them. He should have been so proud of her and like, oh my God, you're going to London, you're going to be a West End girl.

I mean, I did find out that the thing that she was doing in London was 222 a ghost story. And I was like, okay, I've seen the play. And you know, I wouldn't, I think Lily could do better than that. It's fine, but it's like, you know, but whatever. So that really shocked me that that's what sparks the album of.

Because it's not great. For the criticism of the album, I didn't. Yeah. I didn't believe that she really believed it was a dojo and she was doing 22-go-story, which wasn't a good play. That's my only criticisms, everything else. I think is absolutely incredible. I think though, hopefully it's like we're,

we're starting to all like notice these things and talk about it and be like, oh. And so maybe if that was to happen again where you were dating somebody and this happened, then you'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe this is a sign and I should give you the silent treatment. Yeah, I'm going to my own dodger, dickhead. Yeah. Your dick cars. I'm going to my dick digs.

Why, I just think about dick all day long, okay? You don't think about it. Oh, I'm having a dick. Oh, yeah, forgot. There'd be dicks everywhere. The pussy balance is just full of women in the name He's just sat in her dick, tics. Just a nice space to think about them.

Ha! Maybe we put some penis art on the walls. That'd be nice. Maybe some penis straws. Ha! I'm in my dick, nigs. The saddest line for me is when... I think it's in the Madeline song,

or when she finds the text or whatever. And he's playing tennis with her and he doesn't play tennis with Lily. And for some reason I find that like, I just get that feeling where, because that for me is like, oh, he's picked someone else. He's prioritising someone else. He wants to spend time with someone else. And he's doing something with her that Lily wanted to do with him.

And I just find that so naughty and sad. Yeah, when she says, like, he's mine and she's not. And, oh, God. Love is hard. Love is really hard. But I do think the album's a banger. The album is, that's the thing as well. It's like a story.

It's an epic masterpiece. It's a masterpiece. There's been some criticism about the music quality. Oh. So I've seen a lot of people being like, oh, the music's not good. Some of my friends are like, I can't listen to it because the music's so bad. Who are these friends? I think I know.

I know they are. You know exactly who they are. And they can't listen to it because the music. Oh, the music is the music. But it's like, I don't realize you had a. fucking master's degree in contemporary music but I actually love the music I think it's quite

low-fi but it's low-fi on purpose I think like all the auto-tune and stuff is very like Charlie X-EX I think it's really modern and I think it's also got that like kind of 90s like garage like early 2000's garage kind of sampling and stuff that you're like yeah I think it's a real I think it's a really clever

interesting it's like a collage as well because each track has a real different feel and I think that musically it's incredible and I think it's produced amazingly. Yeah, I agree. Like that first track is like it's so hopeful but it's kind of haunting. Yeah. The music is so like it's like a kind of 50s kind of. Yeah, exactly. Like a perfect kind of set up and then it goes eerie and then you go into it. Like it's very haunting. But I guess these, I'm going to say, men that are listening to it don't understand it. So there we go. I almost think the production values of it almost

makes it a bit punk because it's not like it's punk music but in that it's like I'm doing my own style. Yeah. I'm doing exactly, I'm doing exactly what I want. I'm not trying to, I'm making this concept album. It's not for them. It's not for you. Turn it off then.

Go to your fucking dogers. It's not for you. Idiots. So we wanted to talk about Lillianna, but we also wanted to speak about, we're a bit late to this party, but a Vogue piece has been doing the rounds. Oh, yes.

Yeah. About how, actually, it's very cringe-worthy to have a boyfriend. It's not cool. It's not cool to have a boyfriend. The title is, is having a boyfriend. Embarrassing now. It's so good. It is written by Shantay Joseph.

And it's just so good. It's so good. I don't know about you, but I keep coming across a lovely listeners in real life. Me too. And they say, oh, I love the podcast. I have a boyfriend, but I wish I didn't. And they're really, like, they do have that feeling of, like, embarrassment of, like, I got this guy that just follows me around.

but I really want to be with you guys. It looks so fun over there, just with like having a laugh with your friends. The quote I like is, why does having a boyfriend feel Republican? So this is like obviously in an American marketplace. It's like kind of like old fashioned, kind of toxic kind of. It just feels so old fashioned and frumpy and like, oh, sorry, you've got a heteronormative boyfriend of you.

Sorry, who's that, Steve? So you're going out with, you are purposefully hanging out with someone called Steve. that's what you want to do with your life and you're amazing and then you've got this lump next to you and you've chosen that. It's such a lovely shift. Yeah. It's such a lovely shift in thinking because when I grew up and I don't know if I'm like the majority but this was like how I felt that you, that having a boyfriend gave you like

validation. Yeah. Like that was a good, a good thing to have a boyfriend. It made you like whole as a person and respected and that's what you needed as a woman to have a boyfriend and then you needed to get married. and that was what you needed to do. And then for instance, that when we had the generation below us,

she was like, why, like, obviously I don't want a boyfriend. And we were like, huh? Ah? And it's like things have shifted where it's like, yeah, I've fallen, it got me, I've fallen in love. Like, fuck.

Yes, people are, it's like annoying. It's annoying to fall in love. In this article, even partnered women will lament men and heterosexuality, partly in solidarity with other women, but also because it's now fundamentally uncalled to be a boyfriend girl.

Yes. Yeah. And I love a lot of my, no, I love all my friends who have boyfriends, but like, I would say the genre of woman that I'm always so excited to me is an older woman who is single by choice. They are always living the best fucking lives doing whatever they want. Do you want to meet a woman, not like super, or what, like, say like 60? And they're like, yeah, I'm just doing this, I do this, I do this, I go and holiday with my friends, I do this, I do this. And I'm like, oh, fuck that. is a life. It's like getting a boyfriend is now like getting HPV or something. It's like I think you have to try and avoid but like inevitably it's going to happen to a lot of us. And we've all had it at some point basically. Yeah, you just kind of help it like you're just like, well it's like you get the, you get the virus, the heterosexual virus very early on and then it just comes out sporadically in cold souls and boyfriends like every few years like and you

never fully get rid of it which is a real shame. Because it's just such a, I just find it so interesting like when we're dating and we're meeting people and then people are like so excited if you're like have you been on any dates and you say yeah I'm like seeing someone or something people are like oh my god like they're so happy for you and then you're like but wait why are you so happy for this like I that's so true don't get it like this is but I've been doing so well guys like I've been doing so well this is why are you so happy for this but then like being in love is obviously like a lovely feeling. That's a wonderful feeling and having a partner is a lovely thing. But how wonderful that it's, how wonderful that it's like a thing to be embarrassed of. Yeah. I think it just

really, yeah, but I think it is. Roses are red, violets are blue, we've matched on a nap. What you up to. A lot of the article talks about like how women are launching the fact that they've got a boyfriend and it seems to be less. Because I think that was a time maybe, maybe like 10, 10 years ago. The hard launch. The hard launch. There would be a picture of, yeah. Yeah.

And it would be very much like, me and this one, like so happy that me and this one are spending a day in the park. God. And it felt cringy then, but like if somebody did that now, I'd report them to the police. Because I'd be like, I'm sorry something's going on there. Like, she is being held hostage? Like, if somebody did, do you know what I mean? I know. I hate it.

But so the article's talking about how, because like, I don't know. I quite like having partners on my social media. They don't. They don't like being on there. So you won't find any images of there. But like I like sharing stuff. And if I'm spending a lot of time with someone,

they'll inevitably be involved in that. But in future, if I was with someone, I just have to just include them in a post and act like nothing has happened. I couldn't, do you know what I mean? Yeah. It feels too cringe where they're like, and now I'm not just a woman.

I'm a woman with a man. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's interesting. Like my last, yeah, like my last relationship, obviously, it was like we, I mean, we made a fucking sitcom together about us getting married, you know? Like we couldn't have been more like putting everything out there and I don't think I would want that again.

I would be more protective of it maybe and a bit more like, Okay. Yes. You know what I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't rush. to it. But if we were going out, like, if we were living together and I couldn't

post about you, it would be like it's, do you know what it is? It's because I've been in things in the past where I felt like people are trying to hide me. So I think I've got like a specific like, like anxiety. Like, are you trying to hide me? Well, I'll fucking hide you. How about that, mate?

Now we're hiding you, you freaks. Oh God, when I was like very young or like 17 and 18 there was a boy and we were going out with each other and he like wouldn't be seen with me and he'd like

he'd drive us to the cinema and we'd sort of like run in we'd watch a film and then run back to his car and he'd happily like have sex with me but like just couldn't just couldn't acknowledge to anyone that we were together

because maybe because he was a bit older like a few years older whatever but like I remember that just hurting so much because I'm sure this probably wasn't the case But in my head, as a young woman, I was like, oh, I'm not attractive enough, so he's hiding me. And you sort of carry that. So then I think I've carried that into my other relationships where I'm like, because I don't particularly want to be on someone's Instagram or whatever.

But if they're like flat out, like not acknowledging they have a partner or I'm in their lives at all, like even in a group picture or something, I feel very like, oh. I think I go straight back to that where I'm like, I'm a monster. And he's embarrassed. He's embarrassed to be seen with me. But now we're embarrassed of them. This is what's so good. This is what things have changed.

We're embarrassed of them. He's going to be like, Amy, would you want to put me and you'd be like, I don't know. Like, I've got to like a street grill. You know, like I'm a fun single lady. You know what I mean? Steve, like you're really bringing down the value over here. Oh my God. You're so right.

Yeah, it would be. Do you know what? It would be embarrassing. I would feel and bit embarrassed. It's a bit embarrassing. Like it's like, yeah, yeah, I guess I love Steve. What can I say? I just, I caught the virus and I love Steve.

Oh, God. But I see this so much. And you see like brilliant women who are like, just so smart and fun and together or not together, but just like, just incredible, like, incredible women who are like hot and like amazing. And then you meet their partners and they're literally like a fucking,

fucking big egg. And you're like, are you kidding me? Do what I mean? No one, no woman in my life has ever met a man where I thought, like, you're lucky to have him. Yes, ever. Yeah, isn't that mad? Yeah.

And there are like great guys. I'm not saying there's no great guys, but like, oh my God, the most wonderful women, they'll introduce me. me to their partners and I cannot fathom it. I cannot see it. Also, a guy, one of the people I've probably spoken about on the podcast, he's got a girlfriend now and he was very sweet. So it's a guy that I've hooked up with her bit and we was messaging and he was like, I'm absolute fair play to

him. He was brilliant about it, but he was just like, oh, just to let you know, I have to admit I have a girlfriend now and I was like, oh, that's brilliant and good for you. Like it was nothing serious, it was never going to work. So that was like, that's all good. And I was like, That's so good. And out of curiosity, when he put her on his Instagram, I clicked through to her profile. Harriet, she's the most stunning, fun, incredible, talented, amazing woman I've ever seen.

And I cannot, even though I've been with him and I like him, I cannot work out why she's with him. because she's incredible. And you know when you're like, oh no, no, but I know him and he's not, you should know. Do you what I mean? Is that mad?

No, it's like, I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it. I think this is it. It's like, it's just trying to protect yourself from that old thinking of, oh, I need somebody to feel safe or I need somebody to build the bed. Task rabbit, ladies.

You got Task Rabbit. Yeah, if they do, if Task Rabbit, did cuddles. Oh, there's definitely a website for that. You can pay for that for sure. You really mean it? I could pay for that. Message Lily.

Yeah. Yeah, I think maybe that's the way forward. Outsourcing our needs. I need you to build a bed. Cool. I need you to cuddle me for half an hour. Cool. We've got to get out there.

Oh, well done Lily for opening this. Yeah, well done Lily. I really, I'm so glad that she's done it. And obviously I know that there's other things creatively that women have written or starred in or made that that's also about female age. I know Lily Allen's not the very first woman to have done it. But I just feel like she's done it in a very modern new way. And her honesty. And there's a line in it where she says when she's.

talking to Madeleine where she's like asking does he tell you that he loves you does he say that he doesn't love me and then she in the line is something like I know I'm I know I've got an old I've got an ugly no does he say that I've got an old that I've got an ugly that like he's saying that about her yeah it's just like so crazy to think that Lily Allen is thinking that about herself stunning woman impeccable an angel make me think like oh I should worry more about being old I never worry about it. No, I never worry about it. I never worry about it ever.

Maybe we will. Maybe it's like a privilege. Yeah, but we're not far off. We're not far off. We're not far off. Probably is behind Lily. Well, Lily's 40. Or was 40 when she wrote it maybe?

I don't see as old. I think she would have been 39 or whatever when she was living it. Wow. Well, I guess maybe if you're a pop star, it's a different thing. Maybe it's like a, yeah. But yeah, it's just like all this old thinking. But it does, I love it when things just feel like a step four. It's like, oh, we've all noticed this and we've all felt this.

And actually, we're all going to keep our eyes out for this actually in the future. Yes. Yes. I think this is a really positive thing. And she talks about how she's like meant to be showing her children like a good, to be a good role model for love. And she's like, and I keep kind of fucking it up. But it's like, but what you're doing is actually really helpful and really helpful for not just your children, but for like, you know, women who, I don't know, maybe are kind of similar age to you.

who maybe do a podcast or whatever, like, oh, can you probably helping them out quite a bit? I just think it's so good. But did you see, because I was a bit like, I don't know, I don't know if this is a positive or a negative, but when the album came out, I was a bit like, oh God, poor David Harbour, in a way. I know, I can't help feelings.

I can't help. Because you go, oh, shit. Well, he's clearly very troubled. Like, undoubtedly, like his behaviour was bad, but. But this is the thing. So I was like, oh, shit, what if he, like, spirals into a depression? Yeah, but this is our old thinking of worrying about like this is it and this is what you're conditioned into. Like to actually have a woman not take responsibility for a man's feelings.

Like I'm always trying to make sure they're okay because I'm worried about something happening to them. So I'm trying to protect that. But he wasn't worried about her mental well-being. And then the Stranger Things. Hard for him doing that Stranger Things tour. Oh, the tension in those photos is... Oh, all I've seen is him absolutely laugh at with Millie Bob Brown. Yeah, but don't you see?

the eyes. If you zoom in on the eyes, it's like, I know that everybody is thinking this is, actually, I'm fine, everything's fine. Did you just sing Pussy Palace? I'm fine. Yeah, I don't, I don't know that tune. I've never, what are you talking about? I don't, Madeline, who's, I don't know anyone called Madeline. Oh, I'm having a lovely time. Yeah. Oh, I feel like there's a real, like, awareness. Oh, you see, so the only thing I've seen is that, because you know, there was a bit where it was like Millie Bobby Brown is filing a harassment thing. See that, but then they looked awkward as well, probably because of that dynamic. I just felt like the whole thing felt awkward.

Well, I thought maybe it was a bit like a PR thing, but like when they were together and they're laughing together and they're very like tactile, him and Millie Bobby Brown, I was like, oh, well, clearly I feel like Millie has been coached to be like, you've got to make David look like a human being. You must enjoy this man's company. Well, because he's like such a, in stranger thing. things. He's such like a caretaker figure.

Easy. He's like such a warm. Like he's like the hero. He's the, he's like sexy and like handsome and like he's the the one that is trying to protect. So yeah, interesting times. Interesting times for women, single women and women who have partners. Yeah.

Who have male, straight male partners. Sorry, you have to hide them these days. Yeah, but it is embarrassing. It just is. It does. It's feeling more and more cringy. Having a boyfriend feels like being on Facebook. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've still got Facebook.

I don't really go any of it. It's like my parents have it and a few old friends have it. But like, if someone's like, oh, I'll add you on Facebook, you'd be like, oh, I'm so what? I'm going out with Steve. You'd be like, okay, what? It's just not a thing to be proud of it. It's just a thing that's there.

And maybe it's gone swung too much the other way and it would just be like a normal thing. But, like, yeah, it's, I just love it. I always love chatting to you. I love chatting too. Nice. Thank you, single ladies, join us on Patreon. If you want to hear some of the secrets that we revealed on the live show last week, find us there. If not, we'll talk to you again.

Probably, I mean, next week. Literally, next week. Yeah, see you next week, yeah. Thank you so much for listening. Goodbye. Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont. And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brands is one of the most.

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