Single Ladies In Your Area - Non-monogamy, communication and post-vibe checks with Jack Barry

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

This week our Single Ladies are joined by comedian Jack Barry to discuss non-monogamy, open communication and sensing a vibe with someone you fancy. Can an open marriage bring you closer together? How much and when should you communicate with each other? And if you aren’t sure if there’s a vibe with someone is it best to just …text them afterwards to ask? Find Jack on Instagram @iamjackbarryWe want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Matt Crockett and Linda Blacker.Design by Welcome Studio. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. So let me start us out. I love hearing from God. Sean Bowles has been a celebrated and trusted prophet for decades. God said that you are being given to your boyfriend. But did he have everyone fooled? There's pretty much no way to make any other conclusion than he was data mining. Season 6 of Heaven Bent, The Smartphone Prophet.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed.

Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on, if we manage to get any, and share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone.

We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. I'm very excited to have Jack Barry on this episode. Oh my gosh, me too. Jack is an old pal of both of us. Yeah. And he lives a more exciting life than both of us.

Yeah, he's showing off. Yeah, that's what it is actually. Yes. Jack's going to talk to us about non-monogamy and being in an open relationship. And that's where you have a relationship, sure. You've cracked that. Don't worry about that. And you think, do you know what?

I can also get with other people. Sure, Jack. You have the cake and then you think, oh, those cronuts look nice as well. And the cupcakes and the banana bread. And you just take all the cakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're not

bitter about it. Oh, good for them. I'm really excited to find out about this stuff because it's something that I don't really know that much about. But I feel like increasingly more and more of my friends are in open relationships and it seems to be, I think that's growing very quickly. Do you think you could do it? I've been wondering this. I think I could do with the right person, yeah, but with the wrong person I think it would be

absolute hell. I think it would be my worst, worst nightmare. Yeah. That was so visceral, that reaction. But with the right person,

yeah, I really do. I so could have been like talked into it by like toxic people in the past and then you're just like crying at home. You're like, no, I really do. I so could have been talked into it by toxic people in the past. And then you're just like crying at home. You're like, no, it's absolutely fine.

You go, fuck her, absolutely. Have a lovely time. I'm just going to stay home and make a cross stitch of your face. Because I love you so much. And you don't feel the same and I get it. I have been in an open relationship. Kind of. By accident, you didn't know about it? Is it an open relationship, kind of. By accident you didn't know about it? Is it an open relationship when they're just cheating on you all the time but

openly? Yeah, like a long time ago my friends called him, I don't know if I can say this, but my friends called him philosophy cunt. Because he sort of intellectualised everything and was just like hey babe we shouldn't we shouldn't tie ourselves down you know we should be free and all this

but he was coming at it very much from like a toxic because it wasn't like a discussion we had he was just like oh you can't tie me down you know

he also didn't believe in sun cream I was like well you're mad you're absolutely insane just so burnt and peeling okay don't touch my shoulders oh christ i was like okay fine yeah we can be in an open relationship i didn't get with anyone else at all or even think about getting with anyone else

but i liked him so much i was like like, yeah, no, definitely. That's 100% fine. That's cool with me, definitely. And I was like, I just don't really want to see it. And he was like, okay, that's fine. But then it was like, I'd go to his house and then there would be like eyeliner, like on his pillow. And I'd know like someone's been there the night before

and I'd be like, oh, I don't like it. But I didn't say anything. And then once I was meeting him at a club, I was working in a pub and he was messaging me being like come to this club come to this club and I was like all right well I finished at this time and I got to the club and I was like where are you and he's like I'm in the smirking area so he knew I was like there and I went to the smirking area and there was just this like very young for him girl sat on his knee like talking and intermittently kissing and I was just

like I don't know what I don't know what to do like do I approach? Do I not? And it was just like oh I hate this but I think it's because he was doing it wrong it wasn't done with respect He was doing it so wrong he was like this is not

this is exactly what it is not Yes exactly This guy's just an arsehole He's a philosophy cunt They had it in the name. He's a sunburned philosophy cunt. He also once said a mad thing about the moon being a satellite. It's not real, it's man-made and people live in it.

He was a mad guy. He was just a mad guy who was fit and he could paint. So I was all in. Yeah, he's an arsehole, but he could paint. So I was all in. Yeah, he's an asshole, but he can paint. He could paint, Harriet. That's funny. Yeah, I know. Like his views are extremely terribly bad.

He can paint a pretty picture. So is he a bad guy? Really? When I stop crying and can look at the paintings, they're beautiful. Yeah, I think it can get such a bad rap and it's so interesting because Jack is like the opposite of like anyone that you imagine when you think of these things.

Yeah, exactly. I would trust Jack to do it well. I would be so bad at it. I can feel like real jealousy but also, as we know, I'm not very good at getting lucky. So I would just be like fuming I think and like annoyed which is like the opposite of what of what you need yeah to be in a successful open relationship we do need a higher rate of pulling than we have yes this is it yeah and um yeah so that's not happening also I think what puts me off is the communication

like i think there's a lot of talking especially if you're in like a polyamorous relationship there's lots of relationships happening god i just i can barely cope with one i do not i cannot cope with all of the checking in on everybody and making sure they're okay and that like please i thought you meant there's just like a lot of open communication between you and your partner and that would be really hard. But you're just like, the admin of chatting to people is fucking annoying. And are you okay with me doing that? And are you okay with me doing that?

And are you okay with me doing that? Fucking hell, I don't even want to do it by the time I've asked everybody if they're okay with it. I'm tired. I've seated you all into an email. If anyone's got problems, I don't know. I'm tired. I've seated you all into an email. If anyone's got a problem, I don't know. Talk amongst yourselves. I can't be asked.

But yeah, talking of not being able to get lucky with just one person, I went to a party and I was going to be seeing someone that I'd kissed before. And then, you know, when you're like, maybe, I don't know, like it's definitely not like a relationship or anything, but I was like, oh, maybe I'd kiss them again. Yeah. I got there. And Amy, throughout the course of the evening, between the hours of 8.30 and later into the evening, I developed an eye infection.

What? So you went to a party without an eye infection? I went to a party like the whole evening. Like I night I went to a party, like the whole evening, like I had a babysitter. I didn't have a show. There was somebody there that I had kissed. I did not have an eye infection when I went to the party. Throughout the party, I developed an eye infection.

What do you mean? What do you mean developed an eye infection? My eye, like I started, I'd be like talking to him and my eye would like, I'd be like, I can't see out of this eye. It's like crazy. It's so weird that I can't see. And then I'd be like, I guess I'm like really drunk. Like I can't see out of my left eye.

This is crazy. And then I'd go into the toilet and they'd be like, pus coming out of my eye. And then I'd have to like get it out of my eye and be like, well that must have just been a crazy thing happening with my eye and then i'd go out again and then i'd be like trying to cover my eye like i was a pirate or something oh gosh and then i'd go back in i'll be like there's fucking pus like all around my eye again and then i was like going in and out of the toilet. And then people would stand there and be like, Harriet, shut the door of the toilet when you go in.

I'm like, no, I'm just, like, clearing my eye. It was crazy. But my sister said that I think my body was repelling him. Like, it was like my body was trying to protect me. Oh, nice. By producing, like, some kind of, like, viscous fluid in my eye to repel him so much. It's crazy.

I've never even had that before. I think Mabel had an eye infection and I must have got her eye infection. That's absolutely bonkers, Harriet. That's mad. What did I do to deserve this? I don't even understand. What I'm doing so wrong to deserve this?

Rubbing Mabel's eye infection in your eye? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that why you've gone wrong? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just science. But yeah, if a toddler gets something, you can't not get it. Of course. It's just, well, that didn't pan out.

But you couldn't predict how that didn't pan out. And that's why sometimes anxiety is just completely useless. You can worry about everything and you just get a fucking eye infection. Did you talk to him about the eye infection? No, I was trying to hide it. And then I was like, If the eye infection hadn't have arrived, do you think something would have happened? I think I've just been a little bit crazy.

And so I think this was just like the pinnacle of it. But like it wasn't like right in any way. And so my body was just like, nah. Well done, body. Well done, body. Could you do it in a less humiliating way next time, please? I got the memo. I get it.

Could you just do it in like a more classy, elegant way, please, in future? I love that. It's like, you've just got to listen to your instincts. Your body's like, she's not hearing us. We can't make this any clearer. Right. Push some push out of her eye. Just push it out of her eye.

I know it seems insane, but she's not listening. She's still going up to him. Push pus out of her eye. Oh, well, I'm sorry that happened. But oh, maybe I'm delighted that happened, really. Yeah, everything happens for a reason. Yeah. But why does it have to happen like that?

Anyway, let's ask Jack about the puss. Let's ask a more successful kisser how he's getting it so right. Is it ham? Okay, big news. We have allowed into the studio for the first time

what I believe we are calling a male guest. Yeah, brace yourselves, everybody. Yeah. It's different today. There's a toxicity. There's a real toxic vibe in this room, actually. It's been so cosy and peaceful and lovely. And now Jack Perry is here. I'm sorry.

Thank you. First of all, thank you for apologising. We've been waiting a really long time for one of your lot to apologise. Well, thank you for doing this. Thank you for having me. I'm honoured. We do appreciate it. Yeah, Jack didn't realise he was the first man. No.

We made him in't it threw me off and then I said a complete faux pas before we started recording and I said I can't believe I'm the first person you've had on

so I've immediately proved the point of why you don't have men on this Jack doesn't see women as people which is really it's weird

sitting in this empty room doing a podcast on my own that's just called single in your area Weird sitting in this empty room doing a podcast on my own. That's just called single in your area. So, do you know what you've come on to? I have a vague understanding.

Yeah, yeah. So me and Harriet are dating experts. We've decided we're the opposite of experts. Yes. And we're just sort of chatting to people about their dating lives and trying to get tips and tricks and insight. I can't believe you guys need tips. Oh, Jack, he's immediately on the same ground again. That's good.

Thank you. And that shows that Jack hasn't been listening to the series because if he'd heard any of the stories, he'd be like, oh, God. Yeah. We're bad at it, Jack. Oh, really? Yeah, we're really bad.

Why? I don't know. Why do we all... We don't know. Will you tell us about your dating life? My current dating life is I'm married. I'm in a civil partnership with a beautiful woman called Martina. She's so beautiful.

When did you get married? It was in the pandemic. I think it was maybe 2022, 21? 21. Wow. I can't remember actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she wouldn't remember either. She'd know even less than me. It was sort of largely

for Brexit reasons that we did it. We weren't sure if she was going to be able to stay here and then she got her leave to remain immediately after we got the partnership. It was just like us and two witnesses. My parents weren't invited. They got very annoyed and we have like a

non-monogamous relationship is sort of why I'm in the dating sphere I suppose. But actually that has been quite quiet recently as well. I am delighted to hear that. Jack, you belong. Welcome aboard. It is, I'm sort of finding.

I mean, I get it. It's like... Single ladies and Jack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Single ladies and horny men. But it's like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I get it, though.

It's like trying to figure out, like, the nice way of, or just like the not creepy way of telling people about, do you know what I mean? Yeah, there's a certain vibe. You've got a bad rep, I think. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Not you specifically, Jack.

I'll take it. It's hard to ask women out on a date when you're like, so, I'm married. Do you know what I mean? That is hard. Why do you guys not get more sympathy? No one wants to hear it. That is hard, actually.

And we should start a charity for you guys. This is what I'm saying though. I get it. It's like no one's gagging to hear that, are they? So my wife says it's cool. How long have you been in a non-monogamous relationship? From the start? No, not from the start,

but for the majority, for about seven or eight years, I'd say. Wow, that's so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were sort of together for a couple of years in just sort of

monogamous relationship. And then it sort of came by stages. We sort of like... Okay. She's, she won't mind me saying, bisexual. And then it sort of came by stages we sort of like okay she's she won't mind me saying bisexual and um she was sort of telling me that she hadn't really had many sort of dates with women before and i was like well you must it's great women are the best like you're really missing out and if we're together forever which i hope we will be i don't want that to mean that you miss out on that so why don't we try that and then she was like oh why don't we try dating someone together and then we sort of had like a little sort of

thing together with someone and then it was sort of like oh how would you feel if I wasn't there and then we sort of tried that and then it's like you just sort of make up your own rules as you go along I think which is sometimes works and sometimes is full of like traps sometimes it's full of pitfalls and uh it's like you're making up rules sometimes you just don't know how you're gonna feel about a certain thing until it comes up and then um so it has been complicated but i think ultimately it's it's worth it it's been It's been really good. Oh, you just love a roast, do you? Do you find that there's a discrepancy in like,

if you're saying you're having a bit of a dry spell? Yeah. Do you find if the other person isn't, that's hard? A little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It can be, yeah. I think I would find that. Yeah, yeah. Doing really well with the Xbox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It can be, yeah. I think I would find that. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing really well with the Xbox.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. And it sort of affects how your, like the rest of your life is going as well, a little bit. Like after Edinburgh. You know, like after you've done the fridge. Edinburgh's hard enough.

Yeah, and it's horrible. If your wife isn't going on loads of dates. I know. And like that sort of September afterwards and you come back and you're like, what was all that for? And I'm spent and I'm broken and then she's coming back from like,

yeah, I had a great day. And I was like, oh, okay. But yeah, sometimes it's sad. But all relationships are sad. They all have sort of ups and downs, don't they? And it's uh yeah yeah but all relationships they all have sort of ups and downs don't they and it's always like complicated but I think ultimately it's like I don't know I think it's made us both feel a lot closer to each other yeah and I think you just like it sort of gets rid of lots of the tension I think in a way I don't know like I feel like I've seen so many of my friends' relationships that kind of implode because they kind of just want to, like,

scratch this itch sometimes. And it's like, it's such a sort of classic traditional thing of like, oh, you know, this man, he left his wife and kids because he wanted to have sex with his secretary. And you're like, well, if he could just have sex with his secretary, it didn't mean that he had to end the whole relationship. And then he could realise that his wife and kids is actually what he wanted and it's like i don't know but that's like a really seedy example but you know what i mean

that's all i'm saying everyone needs to have sex with a secretary men women we're all... I would love secretaries. There's so many reasons. Because I guess that's how open... I mean, obviously you're open in a relationship, but how open are you talking about it? Because it's very difficult, I guess, if you have to kind of support each other through heartbreak or through things not going well. Yeah.

Honestly, we talk about everything with each other. I'm sort of very... That's amazing. I've got two bigger mouths. She says I'm over-communicating. Sometimes I need to rail it in a little bit. I'm just like, but now I'm feeling this and my stomach is doing this right now.

I'm just like, okay, okay. Shut up. Shut up for a bit. There's no space for anyone else in the relationship because of Jack's feelings. Yeah, yeah. Oh, believe me, that's a conversation we're having at the moment but it's like yeah yeah but I do think you just got to communicate everything really like and then because then that

that avoids the pitfalls and like it's someone feeling hurt or left out or something like you're really like making sure that everybody's like up to date with what's going on because like obviously jealousy is like a thing that you can't just switch off. It's like we're kind of naturally told that you're supposed to. It's kind of bred into us, isn't it? Yeah, and you have it in relationships that are closed. And so it's going to be there

whatever relationship you have. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So you can't just turn, and sometimes it is just like, oh yeah, you know, my partner's been on a hot date and she's come back with this great big grin on her face because she had some hot sex. And you're like, yeah, okay. But my partner's been on a hot date and she's come back with this great big grin on her face because she had some hot sex.

And you're like, yeah, okay. But mostly I'm just sort of jealous because, you know, I like to have hot sex as well. And you're like, if your partner went to Disneyland without you, you'd feel jealous. That's so true. That's so true. Like, yeah, I wish I was at Disneyland

that looks really fun yeah okay so how is it receiving information when they come back from the hot date it depends on your mood really like sometimes you're just like

yeah I mean you don't go into like the full details of like and then I touch this body part and then I licked this and then you're like you don't go into like the full details of like, and then I touched this body part and then I licked this. And then you're like, you don't need all of that. But it's just like, oh, you know. But for the most part, like if I'm, you know, if you're in a good mood and you're in a good place,

you're like, yeah, this is great. And then, you know, like I say, if it's post Edinburgh and you're feeling a bit low and like sort of insecure about your career, you can be like, oh, I feel a bit insecure now. How perfect is that though to have like your best friend to share your worst dates with? And be like, oh God I feel a bit insecure now. How perfect is that though, to have like your best friend to share your worst dates with? And to be like, oh God, I had this terrible date. And like, so fun.

And then you can just go to bed and laugh about it. Yeah, well, exactly. Which has happened. Like, yeah, she's had some real weird dates. But yeah, she had this date with this girl who like basically sort of lied about what she did for a living. Like Martina's very political. She's like a political activist.

She's an activist with like like, lots of different, like, feminist groups. And it was when the police powers were getting extended. And she'd been to, like, one of those, like, stop the extra police powers protests. And then this girl was like, so anyway, I wasn't totally honest with you about what I do for a living. I'm actually a cop. No.

Like an immigration cop. She did something for the home office and she was like, it was essentially like ICE, but like in the UK like our equivalent. And she was like, but you know, like opposites attract, you know. You hate cops, I'm a cop.

It can work out. It's like the fox and the hound. Oh my God. So that one was kind of wild. it's like the fox in the house oh my god yeah yeah yeah so that one was kind of wild yeah wow yeah I do imagine

maybe really hot sex yeah yeah like pure hatred yeah yeah yeah someone from another country fucking an immigration officer is kind of powerful it's kind of hot

yeah it could be. I'm not going anywhere, bitch. This could be a new category on Pornhub. We might discover something here. Wow. Gosh. But then to come home and have someone... And then you can talk about it.

And then it's like, oh, wow, that's kind of wild. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's quite fun. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. How did the internet go from this? You could actually find what you were looking for right away,

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Amy, we've got to get out there. Do you have that many rules? We have a couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which are sort of, like, developing again.

Yeah. Like, in the past, they've been, like... I don't want to go into too specifics, but, like, you know, there's been, like, things that we've, like, spoken about and maybe haven't been quite clear with one another about how strongly we feel about this thing okay so then the other one will go away and like do it and then it's like oh actually that was like a harder rule than we thought it was gonna be yeah do you know what i mean yeah yeah but they're not meant not not many

like like strong strong rules yeah yeah i don't have sex with my ex. That's fair. That's real fair. That's a really good rule, actually. I think that should be like a legal rule. That should be a legal requirement for every relationship. I wasn't looking to do that anyway, so that was fine. That one didn't really need enshrining in the constitution, but it's there anyway, just in case. Yeah, no, that's good.

That's good. That's scrawled on all our walls yeah yeah yeah but yeah you do like yeah you do just sort of like you sort of figure out things about yeah even just like you know how much you communicate beforehand and things like that like you sort of don't really necessarily know you know like oh if i just meet someone in a bar and then it's like, do we just go home that night? There's been situations where that could have been possible and then it's like, oh, well, let's not just follow this straight away. Let's go home and talk about it and see. And then it was like, oh, yeah, I think I would rather not,

like, you just don't come home one night because you've picked up someone in a bar. Like, it might be nice to have a bit of forewarning of like, I've met this person, I'm going to go on a date with them and then I know that that night you might not come home. What if you just pop back and put your head around the door

and say, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's just there like, yeah. Just go to Disneyland for a bit. Yeah, go on Space Mountain,

I'll give you a call in a bit. Yeah, like it's so like, to think about everyone's feelings is like so lovely. There's a lot of different feelings. Because also, even if you hook up with someone, then I think that's important as well.

Some people, I always ask, because some people, you know, they want to cuddle and wake up together and then maybe do something in the morning. And some people are like, actually, I want you to bugger off and I want to sleep in my own bed. And so I'm always like, what would you prefer?

On the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the floor, I'll go on the floor. That's absolutely fine. So that's so true. And that's something that's not spoken about at all. You go into things and then it's that thing that you're kind of scared of afterwards. What happens, sometimes men can turn.

And that's such a nice way of looking at it it's just it's the thing with like um sort of enthusiastic consent now as well and all that kind of thing it's obviously really good like i say i like to talk about everything in detail and i think it just like makes it makes sure everyone knows that we're all on the same page i don't know some people seem to think it takes some of the romance or like the kind of excitement out of it. But I think that is kind of necessary in some situations. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I was with a girl once and I said some cringe thing like, oh, you know, can I kiss you or something like that? And she was like, why are you asking?

And I was like, my god well so I know like yeah like I love that I think knowing what's happening as well as like the consent

and everyone feeling like safe and stuff but just like if someone can walk me through what's gonna happen yeah for the night even I would be so

over the moon that it's like yes should we do this and then this and then I'm gonna go home at this time and I'd be like over the moon. And it's like, yes, should we do this and then this? And then I'm going to go home at this time. And I'd be like, oh, thank you, sir. Yeah, yeah.

There's no great, there's no surprises. Yeah. And there's no like awkward, like, do you want to stay? Or you don't want to like overstep their boundaries and stuff like that. If someone was just like, this is what I'm offering. This is my stall. I've set it out I'd like to kiss you

and then do this and then we'll go back to yours and then I'm going to go home or whatever I'd just be like oh thank you thank you do you know what I mean

yeah because it's like it's sometimes scary to talk about it before but like actually that's like such a good there should be like a form or something that we can all sit around

yeah like a menu yeah yeah yeah delivery menu or something like you can click what add. Like a menu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Deliveroo menu or something. You can click what add-ons you want, like what toppings.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like when you get in an Uber and it's Uber comfort and it says like, do you want to talk or not? And you can press like, no.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah no cuddling. My own music? Yeah, that'd be great. My own bed. Yeah, I want the bed to myself. Yeah. I think that would be genuinely fantastic. Maybe we should, like, go into business to create, like, a hookup app

where when you decide that you're going to hook up, you, like, scan each other's, like, QR code and you just tap in what you actually want and then it goes, this is your plan for the evening. Yes. That's great. I mean mean it is

yeah yeah I think copyright I've copyrighted it or we could just learn how to speak in person oh we could speak in person

that would be so cool too but I feel like there's more chance of me creating a worldwide app than me learning how to communicate effectively

you're a business woman you've got that you've got that business brain you've got to switch up your business brain. It's like a combination, I think, of like English awkwardness. Yeah. And it's like the same old Hollywood thing of like,

obviously like rom-coms have ruined romantic relationships for everybody because it's like you put all these expectations on things and it's like you always watch like films and it's always like two people are just like in a bar and they've always hated each other. And then, you know, they've just always found each other so irritating and suddenly they're just having sex for no reason.

And wow, where did that come from? It was like this explosive sexual energy. And it's like, that's weird. Like, I don't know, like to have that as an expectation of sex is like a bit unhealthy. It's like... 100%.

It does seem healthier just to be like, oh, right, are we going to do this? Are you into this? I'm into this. Okay, what do you like? I like this. You know? Wow.

What's going to get you off to specifically? Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, let's both... I've never been asked that. Have you been asked that? What's going to get you off? Yeah. Or even, what do you want to do?

Are you into this? Have you been asked that? What's going to get you up? Yeah. Or even, what do you want to do? Are you into this? Have you been asked any questions? Yeah, probably not at the beginning. Can you leave? Can you be quiet? Can you leave? Yeah, I've been asked a few questions here, for sure. Can you stop fogging the do then?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When are you going to stop crying? Do you think it's then that Martina's not English? Do you think that's what makes it easier? Maybe, yeah, yeah. And she does also say I'm not a very English English person, but I think I probably have learned a lot of that from her. I didn't grow up in the UK very much either, so I don't know if that's part of it as well.

Yeah, yeah. Where did you grow up? I lived in Shanghai when I was a kid. Yeah, I think her being not English maybe does help. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, all of it is my whole relationship really works because of what an incredible person she is really. She's pretty great, She's pretty great,

She's just, yeah, I don't know. I'm so, so lucky to know her and to like be with her. It's like, she's just, she's amazing. No, no, no. God, no. It's annoying because like the cliche of like, I think open relationships is usually like,

oh, people go into it to try and save a relationship that's dying. Or like, you know, people are lying to themselves and save a relationship that's dying yeah or like you know people are lying to themselves and really like they're not into each other and like they want to just be getting off with other people but for us it just really did feel like oh god this is so strong what we have like this thing it's like we've almost sort of got more to give in a really cheesy way but so I think if you're ever thinking about going into an open relationship, it has to be from a base of like, oh, this is really strong. Like, you know, never like, oh, this might help us. It's this or a puppy.

Yeah, exactly. Like getting a puppy or having a baby. Let's get married and then maybe we'll forget about the problems. Like, no, it's not going to work. That's not going to work. It's got to be like, this is a really strong thing and we're really sure about each other. And then like we can add to it.

But I don't know. I never thought I would be in an open relationship, to be honest. But it has just sort of evolved. Have you ever been in one before? Never. But I'd only had like one serious relationship before her. And it was like, yeah, it was quite jealous. Like we were both quite jealous.

Really? So you've gone from that? Yeah. Like we were both quite jealous and like. Really? So you've gone from that? Yeah. That's incredible. I don't know, and I don't want to blame that on my ex, but it was like a,

I think you kind of sort of, I don't know, I just think we kind of like egged each other on in like the wrong way in that relationship. And sometimes I'm like, you know,

I want equality in a relationship. So if someone's acting really jealous, then I'm like, well, I'm going to be jealous now. So, because then we're both jealous. Just because you love equality. Yeah, yeah.

It's actually very feminist to be jealous. But do you know what I mean? It's like, it's got to be fair. Yeah. But even that, but it's the same with my relationship with Martina and she says the same thing, you know, it's like if I'm acting like a dick in a certain way,

she'll do it too. Because it's like, well, you know, then we both get to act like a dick in the same way. Yeah, why do you just get to act like a dick? I love that. I get to act like a dick. Because it's tit for tat in this situation. Say it with me.

I'm a goddess. So do you have more like in person I guess because you're like a male comic it is easier to like pick up people than most people or is it like

do you do a lot of kind of dating on apps and stuff I've tried the apps but I've not really had any luck at all yeah

I will say as soon as someone has a picture of them with their wife you immediately yeah exactly it is a tricky it's in my description yeah i'm on field yeah which is supposedly like the polyamory app yeah but now it seems to be full of people who are like i want my life partner i'm looking for the

i'm looking for my other half sorry about that. And it is like, yeah. But I have it in my description. Yeah. It is like, how upfront do you be with it? Yeah. And I do think if people are just swiping and they're like, oh, right, he's married, well, he can piss off. I mean, obviously I'm not going to go on a date with someone and then like, I'm not going to waste someone's time

and like, we'll go to a bar and we'll sit down and then I'll be like by the way you're number two my friend was like you've got to take it out of your profile that's mad but just like

once you start chatting yeah it's too annoying I think keep it in you've got to keep it in yeah right that's what I think you have got to be up front

I mean I was like if you've chatted before you know we arranged a date I would say it but even then it's mean I was like if you've chatted before you know we arranged a date I would say it but even then it's like it's annoying

if you've started chatting with someone and then you blindside them with something like that I think yeah gotta keep it in but I don't really date

anyone from like gigs yeah I've never really done that that's cool I don't know that's a rarity I would say

from a male comment I did a gig I did a gig last week, and there was a girl being very flirtatious with me from the audience afterwards. And I sort of can't always tell, which is why I always have to ask. Are you flirting with me? I'm like a robot.

What's happening? Clarify. Clarify your intentions for me. But then afterwards, I was like, I could have asked her out for a drink, but then would I have had to say it in that initial conversation even? Can I have your number? By the way, I'm married.

Yeah. I don't know. It is like, how do you say it and how do you... Because in your set you talk about being married, but I don't think you talk about being open. I do sometimes. I have done. But actually then that night I was just comparing

and I hadn't done any material. So I'd just been chatting to the audience all night. So I was like, oh, right. She maybe thinks I'm completely single. And so then like,

yeah, like when do you, when do you drop it in? Do you ever see someone in the audience that you think is attractive and you're like, I'm going to do

the open stuff tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drop it in. I have done. I have done. Oh, yeah, yeah. Get home safe. I'm Jack Barry. I'm in to do the open stuff tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drop in. I have done. I have done. Yeah, yeah. Get home safe. I'm Jack Barry.

I'm in an open, open, non-monogamous marriage. And this is my number. This is my number. I'll see you at the bar. Specifically, you there. Okay, good night, everybody. There used to be a term for it

when I started doing comedy that was like guys would have lines in their sets that would make them sort of attractive they're called like pulling lines

I can't remember what it was called and it was like I had a friend who like he doesn't do stand up anymore and he was like

he would sort of close his set by going thanks everyone you've been beautiful and he would make eye contact with like the girl

that he fancied at the end of his set oh my god but I mean it's such a we've got to start would make eye contact with the girl that he fancied at the end of his set. Oh my god! But I mean, it's such a... We've got to start doing that. You've been beautiful. Actually, any of you on the second row are absolutely up for that.

Not you, and not you. Other than that, everybody's welcome. You, I could be convinced, actually. Yeah, yeah. Actually, just give me a chance, please. It is a cliche, isn't it, that male comedians find it so much easier to snog? It's a cliche because it's true.

Why is that? I find it so attractive when women do comedy. Do you really? I think you're the only person. Really? Why? I think you're the only person. I think it's really off-putting. The narrative is that it's like really off-putting but I'm trying to change it and be like, yeah, it's actually really hot

because I think we have to start saying it in order to get the catch on. So we have to be like, yeah, it's really, yeah. I cannot, so many numbers after a show. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Manifest. Manifest.

Manifest. Yeah, you have to treat them. Yeah, it is funny, isn't it? tell me about it yeah yeah yeah manifest manifest manifest yeah you have to trick them yeah I think traditionally like a guy being funny is like top three of most anyone that finds

these guys list do you know what I mean it's always like when asked it's always like what do you look for in a guy and it's always like he's gotta be funny

but it's never it's never in the top three with men for men it has to find me funny yeah she has to have a good laugh yeah yeah yeah if she says anything funny i'll tear my eyes out yeah i think it's threatening i think it's threatening because it's even such a positive trait in a man yeah if you're with someone who's funnier than you then maybe it's like sort of emasculating

yeah maybe yeah well it's like being stronger yeah it's like if your girlfriend lifts up the car in front of you and you're like

no yeah I guess so few men would say like funny strong well yeah I've never heard strong

good driver good driver it really is yeah yeah yeah my girlfriend's a worse driver than me yeah

I don't know what I'd do if my girlfriend was a racing driver funny racing driver yeah who's rich do you think

female racing drivers have the same problem I bet they do yes and female weightlifters yeah I bet guys that go to the competition

have been like, she can lift more than me. Yeah, I wonder. I'm going to ask for her number. It's funny that, isn't it? Yeah. But why? But I do find people are just quite weird with comedians in general. Yeah. I feel like a lot of male comedians are put on a pedestal of

being so sexy. And if you met them and they were working in accounts, they wouldn't get any no way no way and i'm guilty of it too there's definitely been comics where i've gone oh my god he is so fit yeah and it's because he's so funny oh 100 yeah the dating life i've had is would never have happened if i had not been a comedian there's's no way. I've got the biggest forehead in England. Like, like,

being funny can really, really distract from the baldness in an amazing way. It's done me some unbelievable favours. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge. Give us some tips on how to pull. How do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge.

Give us some tips on how to pull. How do you pull? Oh, I don't know. I cannot give you tips on that. We should have got Martina on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, pull it. I don't know. Once it gets to the 11th hour of like, does this person fancy me? And it's like, and now like we're the last people at the party and everyone's gone to bed and we're both on the sofa and it's just me and her, but I'm still not sure if she's in,

you know, she's been playing with her hair and staring to my eyes for six hours, but I don't know, maybe. I'd better ask. Oh, okay, now she thinks I'm an idiot for asking. But yeah. And how do you ask do you just sort of say is there a vibe here or yeah yeah so like yeah genuinely I have done but or even like afterwards your friend of mine Ray Badran really took the piss out of me once because I said sometimes I'll do it afterwards like I'm so'm so unsure. In the moment, I'm like, yeah,

this is pretty flirty. Like, we're getting on very well. And then we'll both leave and then on the way home, I'll say, was there a vibe there? And they'll go, yeah. And I'll go, okay, next time, we'll kiss. Yeah,

I've done that several times. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The post-vibe check. Yeah. I've done that several times I love that yeah yeah yeah the post vibe check yeah yeah I know because I am still English at heart I think it was just like

in that moment you are just like it's very hard isn't it to bring it up I don't know why it's so terrifying because also it's like I don't know rejection isn't that bad

it's a bit heartbreaking yeah but you're like I've been rejected plenty of times and it's not really bothered me too much. But even still, the prospect of that in the moment, I don't know why it's so terrifying. You'd think we'd be better with rejection with our careers.

Yeah. You get so used to it. You can be rejected by like 200 people at a time. In one go. In one go. Yeah, unanimously deciding to reject you. Nope, not for me. We don't like you.

Yeah. Fine, okay. We've all decided, we all had a chat. Yeah. We've all decided we don't like you. As a town, sometimes. Middlesbrough. Yeah, like a whole town will all reject me

and I'll leave on the train in shame of this whole town that hates me. Texting Middlesbrough, was there a vibe check? Yeah. Absolutely not. Don't come back. I always get stuck

in friend zoning myself. I've done that. I find that really difficult because I feel like once you've gone, if you don't do a vibe check and you keep meeting up and neither of you you don't do a vibe check and you keep meeting up and neither of you are saying anything about

a vibe, but you suspect there might be, after a few times meeting up, it's too late to ask. I think you just have to accept that you're friends. But then sometimes you can have great sex with friends. Right, and that's the end of the pod.

Yeah, I guess it depends on what you talk about yeah doesn't it like if you start talking about sex with each other or like

oh I think I'd know there was a vibe if we were literally talking about sex yeah I think I'd probably be slightly more convinced

but yeah how do you bring it back yeah I don't know how do you bring it back round I think I'd probably be slightly more confident. But yeah, how do you bring it back? Yeah, I don't know. How do you bring it back round? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I would never want to talk about sex with any of my male friends. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You wouldn't. One that you fancied. Me and Jack were in a WhatsApp group called Brekkie Boys. Can you imagine a Brekkie Boys? And we would start talking like it would just be so upsetting for everybody. I mean, particularly that group of boys. I know who's in that group and I cannot imagine any of them

just actually chatting about sex. No, I really can't either. If they brought it up, I'd be worried. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Be like, are you dying? Yeah. What's happened? You've got some bad news from the doctors.

But yeah, you're asking me how to get out of the friend zone. Is that what you're asking? Yeah, all right. You're so charming and like vibey. How do we get that? How do we do that? You're not so charming and vibey. Are you kidding me?

What are you talking about? I think it's confusing because sometimes I think there might be a vibe, but I think it's just a vibey person. So how do you tell if it's a vibey person or it's a vibe? You text them, I guess. In my case,

you've got to text and ask, what was that? Excuse me, what was that? Check's not the right person to ask. It's not. I know. But then sometimes they're like,

we're just pals and we're having a vibe. And you're like, cool. Great. Just wanted to check. Great. Just checking in. That hurts so much more than all of Middlesbrough. Yeah.

It does. Do you think so? Yeah. You guys are the most vibey people I know. There were two Christmas parties that we went to and I just like literally beelined and just wanted to talk to you guys. And both times we were stood next to each other,

not talking to anybody else. But it was perfect. I looked around the whole party and was like, great, those two. Them two girls in the corner looking at the floor were pretty cool. We were having a fun time, but it's just with each other

that's the problem we're having such a fun time we've got to put the vibes outwards yeah maybe that's it just letting them out a bit more it's funny isn't it

because I think everybody yeah is everybody horny everybody's horny aren't they I think so I forget that everybody's horny we forget we think it's just us

being embarrassing yeah I know but we do sort of feel a deep shame that's it that's how I feel especially being in an open relationship. I'm like, sorry about my dirty shame.

Sorry. That's how I feel about dating people. Sorry. I'm married, but I still got this shameful lust. This might be a weird question, but does Martina ever help you? What, sort of wingman me she has sort of like given me advice before like going on a date or something you know which is quite yeah yeah which actually what like she did get a bit annoyed about once i was away and i was

sort of calling her and i was like yeah i'm going on a date with this girl tonight like i'm kind of nervous like i don't know she was sort of like, be yourself. And like, just remember, be funny. That's usually what she says to me. She's like, remember, you're fit when you're funny. So be fun. Like, make sure you're being funny.

And then I'll be like, okay, okay. Like, yeah, yeah, I've got to do that. But then it was like, I was away. And then it was like a couple more days. And I sort of like,

I felt weird. I didn't want to call her up and be like, I've got to leave. You know. That's really paid off, Ben. Yeah, exactly. That felt weird. She was laughing in bed bed let me tell you i don't know why

yeah i was like i feel like that's the thing i need to tell her in person but then she was like it's been three days and we've chatted about other stuff why haven't you told me anything about this date like why are you not like that it feels weird and you haven't said anything because it feels like and i was like oh okay yeah yeah yeah I get that but yeah I don't know in my stupid brain I was like this is in person news like like a breakup you know what I mean you can't do it over text to be like thanks for your advice and yeah the day was a smash yeah it's so interesting because I think like an open relationship it can be seen as like selfish it's like somebody wants to just like go fuck people but actually it's like so caring it's like you'll want the other person to live their best life yeah well exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah it obviously does

feel selfish and again because I think like in our society is sort of like this thing of like everybody needs someone and like so the people who already have someone and then want more, it's like, you're so greedy. Oh yeah, absolutely. We did call you greedy in the British. Which I get, which I get. And again,

I understand it and yeah. And it's my shame that I carry with me. But it's pure jealousy on our part, Jack. It's pure jealousy. I think it's so impressive.

Yeah, there's plenty to go around. I end up getting even like, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist, anti-capitalist plenty to go around. I end up getting even, like, anti-capitalist. It's like, fuck capitalism, man. Do you know what I mean? It is, like, this scarcity of, like, resources. And we're all like, there's not enough resources. And we need our resources.

And, you know, I need enough for me. And, yeah, well, why do we all have to be so possessive about everything? Yeah, if everyone was in an open relationship, there'd be more'd be loads to go around god there's so much to go around and even in like i don't know there's a book called the ethical slut which is like the sort of bible of polyamory and it's very good and they do sort of talk in that about you know even love like we sort of think of love as being this like finite resource and it's like well if you love your wife but then you go and love someone else then you're taking love away from your wife it's like no love is this like infinite thing like you can you love your friends and your family

that doesn't diminish your love for your partner in any kind of way it's just like there's plenty to go around it's like it's the this infinite energy yeah that is true it's really true and I think like I keep like looking at couples and be like I think it's it is really hard like see couples where you're like that's what I want and I don't think I'd be very good in an open relationship I do think you and Martina when you see you guys together like it is you do have a it's really lovely like you guys do have a really nice bond yeah it's nice to see uh-oh it looks like I've met a turtle again I think being in an open relationship I could definitely deal not definitely I think I am potentially maybe deal with the physical side of it I think I would be more I think I would find it harder to deal with like

if they were seeing the same person like a few times or there was like a connection. That they might love or whatever. Yeah, I think if I was always number one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they physically got with other people, I'd be like, okay. But if they were like,

if they started falling for someone else, I think I would be heartbroken. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how I feel about that, if I'm honest. There's like different types of open relationship, I think. Yeah, there are like people who do just have like a number one and then, you know, some people do. I know people who like have a rule and it's like, you can only sleep with a person once and like don't do it more than once.

Yeah, so some people do that. Martina and I were always like, oh, in theory, it might be nice for us to have, like, other girlfriends or boyfriends. But actually, in practice, that sort of hasn't really just come about. Mainly just because it's like, how do you organise that? Yeah, the admin. The admin. You have to be, like, an expert of diarising to be good at polyamory.

Like I cannot. It would be sad as well if you were always number five. Yeah. They're all the number ones, I'm number five again. I'm trying to get to the top three this year of anyone. Yeah, especially being a comedian. You're just like, you know, we work in the evenings and the evenings is date time. So you're like looking at it and you're like, well, I've got one free evening this week.

I probably want to see Martina. Like, how the hell am I going to squeeze in like a date at any point? Yeah. I need more like lunchtime dates. Yeah. Great. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, we sort of said we'd cross that bridge if we came to it. Like if one of us sort of started falling for someone else and wanted like a serious thing with somebody else. But it hasn't come up yet. Yeah, I don't know. It's just like, I don't know if I'd have the time. I don't know if I'd have the time for something like that. Would you ever close it again? Or like close like like it's like a shop or something

like close it over the Christmas period or like when you're older or yeah I don't know I don't know actually yeah mate I mean I don't think anything's off the table like in terms of ongoing communication yeah yeah yeah I mean yeah but we've gone through like quite long periods yeah it's like a year and a half there was a period where neither of us really saw anybody else, just through sort of circumstance. Yeah, I don't know. I think we could close it off, but I feel like in the future, if anything, it would be sort of easier to keep it open, I think.

The older you get, be some old swingers. That's what I'm looking forward to. I feel like I'm an old swinger in a young man's body. Get some good cruises in Jack's future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, I'm just waiting for my sort of in my 60s sort of swinging era. Silk kimono. Yes, yeah.

Walking around. Lean into the cliche. Exactly, yeah. Then I'll really gross out some people. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Then I'll really gross out some people. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I do.

I know that I gross out people already. What do you mean? I don't know. Just like people do sort of be like, oh, yeah, all right. It's like, oh, Mr. Open Relationship. Do you think? Yeah.

I got a friend who like we met on a dating app and then we sort of just like never really dated. We just sort of became pals. But every now and then she'll sort of drop in like a little bit like, oh, Mr. Slutty, I'm in a relationship. And I'm like, I know it grosses you out. Even though this is the reason that we're friends. Nice.

But yeah, I don't know. I think ultimately you just need to find other people who are in open relationship. Apparently there are loads. Yeah. Whenever I talk about it on stage, I do sort of say who is in an open relationship and never. Occasionally one person will be like, but very rarely.

Yeah. In fact, sometimes the opposite. I quite often get like angry women being like, no, no, I'm not in it. Like, no. When you say that. He wishes. Yeah.

Anyone else here in an open relationship? No. Speaking for everybody in the audience. Yeah. I've had that like a couple of times. Yeah. I get the feeling it's like, OK, someone's probably had someone be unfaithful to them in the past

or something like that. It's a raw subject. And then I'm always like, OK, yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she knows. My partner knows. I've checked. There's a few people that I've hooked up with

and they've like sort of needed to meet her first. There was like a girl that I did get with once and she was like, I don't think I would have got with you if I hadn't met Martina. But I met her and I know that she's cool and I know that she's on board. So this is okay. But if I just met you and you'd be like,

because obviously loads of men fucking lie about that sort of thing. Don't they? I'm sure there are loads of men out there being like, yeah, I have an open relationship with my wife, but like, you know they? Oh my God, yeah. I'm sure there are loads of men out there being like, yeah, I have an open relationship with my wife, but like, you know, never call my house. I'm just going to save your number as Pizza Hut. Let's not walk out together.

But it's a totally open relationship. Like, yeah. So, yeah, yeah. I think a lot of people just don't that's just what it's called yeah yeah they do text a lot to be fair sending heart emojis

and nudes yeah so I get it I think a lot of people just don't believe you when you're like yeah I've got an open relationship and then I'm like

oh yeah sure of course you have yeah yeah alright you dirty old man well I think we've learnt a lot haven't we yeah this has been so fun Jack Yeah, yeah, all right. Dirty old man. Well, I think we've learnt a lot, haven't we? Yeah, this has been so fun, Jack.

Yeah. Do you know what? Men are all right. Yeah. Get them on. I'm calling it. Next week, single men in your area podcast. Thank you so much for doing this. Thanks for having me.

Where can people find you Jack I'm on social media at I am Jack Barry yeah if they want to come find me I've got a website

jackbarry.co.uk I'm on field yeah yeah keep an eye out for me yeah biggest forehead in Britain and yeah

yeah and you can find me there I'm doing some work in progress shows over the next couple of months so come hang out I'm doing something top secret and the Bill Murray in London so come along

and you're getting it ready for Edinburgh? maybe I emailed the monkey barrel in Edinburgh and I was like by the way I'm in an open relationship it's okay she knows but they don't believe me. I need to introduce them to Martina,

otherwise they won't offer me a slot. Yeah, get Martina on the game. They're like, okay, now I've met your partner, I know that you're not just a dirty old slut. I'll let you on. Dirty old slut. And that was Jack Barry, the dirty old slut. Slut and proud.

I want to be in an open relationship now. Yeah, but specifically with Martina or Jack because they're just so good at it. They're just so good at it. Yeah. I love all that stuff about communication. I really like, because in my head, being in an open relationship would be like oh you can get with someone at a bar or whatever but I love the

idea that it's like no no I want to go home and talk to my wife about it I love the just being able to share their like fails yeah like they have like that would be so nice right now yeah have like well we've got that Harriet oh yeah we've yeah, we've got that. You're so right, really. I guess we're in an open relationship. And we're so supportive of each other. Yeah, and I really want you to go out and have sex. Yeah, I want that for you as well. Thank you so much.

Yeah, I love that. Like, I'm a big, I want to talk about everything and know the person, like, that's that I really like that. And that's great. And that's definitely what I want. But I will say I'm not very good at that. Okay. I find it very hard to express how I feel. But if you're in a relationship. Yeah. In a relationship. Yeah. Because I just I'll go, how do you feel? And they'll say and I'll go, yeah, same. In my head I'm going, I don't feel like that at all i find it hard yeah i find it very hard but it's something that i know i find hard and therefore want to improve on and even in my

tiny little whatever this thing was with this boy that i have a crush on i have got better at i'm not good at it but i've got slightly better at going oh I feel like this I wonder as well if it's maybe the people that you were with were not allowing you to be very because I think that my last relationship I was very good at communication because we both would just and maybe we were too but we both were very communicative and maybe that was why maybe you haven't been with anyone you've kind of felt yeah space to do that yeah maybe yeah because maybe it's like you say how you feel and then you're in trouble for it yeah it shouldn't be that it shouldn't be that it should be that they really want to know how you feel yeah you've got the vibe that they didn't really yeah i know maybe it's that so maybe i'm

actually gonna be all right at it when i definitely get with a better person let's not blame ourselves let's not look inwards, please. Who can I point my finger at? Yeah. Okay, well, that would be great to have a communicative relationship. I don't think I'm ready for an open relationship because I haven't got a closed relationship yet. Yeah, we just say we need to lock down one. Let's aim for one.

Before we've even done it yet. Yeah. Let's not run before we can crawl. Yeah. God, and then one day the podcast might not be single ladies in your area. It'll be very busy ladies in your area. Very, very busy ladies. Lots of admin to do in your area.

Yeah. Oh, but I just, I thought that was so great for Jack to be so open with us. So great for Jack. Everyone's so happy for Jack and all the sex he's getting. Good for Jack. Yes, well done, Jack. And our first male guest was a delight.

Yeah, we got a real delight for our first one. And you know what? We might get a few more on because I think it was it was helpful like when he was talking about how he felt a bit insecure

and he didn't know if there was a vibe and it was like, oh wait, that's what we've been saying. We thought we'd be the only ones. But they're thinking that too. This is chaos. Oh, my God. We can't all be thinking it.

Wow. Well, thank you. You can find more of Jack's work at IamJackBarry on Instagram or jackbarry.co.uk. And next week is our last episode of the series wow I can't believe

we've done a whole series but don't panic we're going to have some Patreon episodes so if you join us on Patreon in the interim you can still get

your weekly fix you can get a fix there's sort of behind the scenes stuff stuff from our actual lives we're going to have episodes where we are talking to you. So please send us your stories. I was going to say questions,

but I mean, that's the blind leading the blind. So stories is probably better. I mean, ask us a question for sure, but I mean, do not trust that answer. Do not listen to anything we say, for God's sake. And you can find that at patreon.com slash single ladies in your area or is it ham.org and they can't keep me away i'm back on tour i made it to my manchester show after getting stuck on the train then i had to get down from

the alps and i got there but i've got the last few dates of the tour of my show everything always works out for me. I mean, in Manchester, it didn't the first time. But it's going to from now onwards. I'm going to Bath, Farnham, Chelmsford, Maidstone, Oxford and Curveball, Sydney. So one of those places is not like the others. Come find me on tour. And there's tickets at Harrietrietkemsey.com.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. How did the internet go from this? You could actually find what you were looking for right away, buying to this. I feel like I'm in hell. Spoiler alert, it was not an accident. I'm Cory Doctorow, host of Who Broke the Internet from CBC's Understood. In this four-part series, I'm going to tell you why the internet sucks now, whose fault it is, and my plan to fix it.

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Off at Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast that's not about the news. Don't worry, single ladies. No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single. No. It's about the North, and's not about being single. No. It's about the North. And all of our stories are about couples.

That is not the truth, Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff. It's funny stuff that's going on up North that we're reporting back on. Things like... Pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in bath mat. And we've got special guests.

We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Knappett, Ed Gamble and Ross Noble, who joined us in the studio. Woo-hoo! Yeah! So that's Northern News, starting next Thursday, the 1st of May, and then every Thursday after that. Join us.