Single Ladies In Your Area - Open marriage, unicorns, and having rizz with Jordan Gray

Episode Date: June 20, 2025

Amy and Harriet are joined this week by comedian, singer, actor and writer Jordan Gray! She helps answer questions like what are the pros and cons of opening up a marriage? What is a “unicorn"? And is the best type of community the sex-having-community?Catch Jordan in her brand new sitcom Transaction, out 24th June on ITV and ITV X.And go see her live at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival with her brand new show 'Is That a C*ck in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Here to Kill Me?'. For tickets and information head to edfringe.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodAnd follow Jordan @talldarkfriendRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, me again, Amy Gledhill, but this time I'm with... Not Harriet Kemsley. Whoa! WT, fuck! What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Offer to Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast that's not about the news. Don't worry, single ladies. No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single.

It's about the North. And all of our stories are about couples. That is not the truth Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff, it's funny stuff that's going on up North that we're reporting back on. Things like pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire Village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in Bathmat. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Nappit, Ed Gamble

and Ross Noble who joined us in the studio. Woohoo! Yeah! That's Northern News out every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts. Some things just take too long. A meeting that could have been an email, someone explaining crypto, or switching mobile providers. Except with Fizz. Switching to Fizz is quick and easy. Mobile plans start at $17 a month. Certain conditions apply. details at fizz.ca

Hello, I'm Amy Glettill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our thirties. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on.

If we manage to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on yeah we'll see about that this is single ladies in your area so in this episode we talk about a success I had thank God finally and also we have an incredible guest Jordan Joanne Grey, who talks about not only being married but seeing other people too. Oh, what a pro.

What a pro. Oh hello. Oh hello, hello. Amy, I have been wanting to hear this story so much. I know that we probably shouldn't go straight into it, but something big has happened. Something really, really big, really big has happened. And I've been holding off telling Harriet and producer Anya, because I wanted to say it on the pod, but it's so big. It's

so big and huge. No, it's not a relationship. No, it's not, but it's better. Winter is over. Winter is over. The drought has ended. Water hath cometh upon me. Oh no, that's bad. But the point is the curse is lifted. Oh God, I'm hysterical. It's so absurd. I know. How happy I am. It was wonderful. It's such, it's, okay, okay, let's start from the beginning. Okay. I'm just going to preface this with me and this boy, our friends on Instagram, and there is a chance he will come across this. Even just to say, if you're listening to this,

it's all positive. So we're fine. We're absolutely fine. Also, he is a songwriter, said he might write a song about it. This is the same. This is our song. This is our song and this one's about sex. I went to Texas. In the United States of America. God bless that country.

How long was I there? 42 hours. I moved quick. The first day I was working, didn't really do anything. A professional woman. A professional woman. Yes, thank you. I was finished at 2 p.m.

By 4 p.m. I'd seen him. I'd set my eyes on him. I was in like a kind of cowboy bar. It kind of, you know, it was like middle of the day. It was really busy on the night, turns out, but during the day, there was not like loads of people there. It was like, but it was really nice. It was like one of the coolest places I've ever been. And I was with my agent, shout out to Steph. Yeah, Steph. Shout out Steph. Also heard cause Steph is also my agent and Steph has also been like, Amy has a really exciting story to tell you.

So we was there, it was in the bar, there's a band on, I'm watching the band and I say to Steph, I was like, oh my God, that singer is so handsome. And he was very good at singing and playing guitar. And I was like, oh God, he's so fit. And it was kind of weird. Well, no, it's not actually, it should be weird saying this to my agent, but actually we've sort of crossed a barrier now where God, she's fantastic at a job, so professional. But also I really could say to her like, I'm horny. She covers all the bases. She covers all the bases.

Great at work. Great wing woman. Yeah, she really is. So I said to her like, Oh my God, I fancy him so much. She covers all the bases. Great wing woman. She really is. So I said to her like, oh my God, I fancy him so much. But in the meantime, two actual cowboys, well one actual cowboy and his brother are on a table next to us and they're like... Sorry, how do you know if they're a cowboy? Because they run a horse.

That's it, yeah. I had loads of cows around him. And there's a boy. So I was like, put all that together, cowboy. The bar's just full of cows. That's it, I was in a field. I'm in a field, one of the cows is playing guitar and I'm like, hot, hot, hot. No, he was an actual cowboy that we started chatting to him and that was his job.

And I was like, no. And he was like, yeah, ma'am. I can't do it perfectly, obviously. But I was like, no, you're not. And he was showing me videos on his phone of like him wrangling cattle and on horses and stuff. And I was like, oh shit, you're out of a cowboy. And his brother was like, would you like to dance? And no, dancer was no.

But I wanted to be a bit, this is so pathetic. So there was like the band, then the dance floor and then like seating and I wanted to get closer. So I was like, yes, I'll dance so I can get closer to the singer to have a look. Yes, a bridge. Yeah. Cause from a distance I was like, wow, he's absolutely gorgeous. But maybe closer P you would smell that fish. You got to find out. Get in and sniff them. Get in and sniff them. So I start dancing. I've got a video actually. I will put it on our picture. A little sway?

Of me dancing. It's called Two Step. So I'm two stepping with this cowboy. Good job, you did those burlesque classes. Good job. Yeah, she's been practicing. Oh my God. So I'm dancing, he's spinning me.

I'm looking at this thing and I'm like, oh God, he's even more beautiful. Closer up, fuck. Is he looking back? You're just observing. You're an observer. He must have looked back because there was only two couples on the dance floor. There was nowhere else to look. There was literally.

And he said his eyes had to rest on something. Why was he was absolutely pathetic. And I was dancing with this guy because his brother liked me, but his brother was too, the cowboy was too shy. His brother was like trying to get me to be with him. And I was like, you, neither of you boys know I'm no interest in you. I like the boy with the guitar. Of course, always the boy with the guitar. Then the boy with the guitar says it's his birthday. And I was like, okay. And in, I could get him like a birthday drink. But then Steph

was like, we've said that we'd go for a dinner. I mean, it was a great dinner. The people that flew over there were paying for our dinner. We have to set off right now. And I was like, haven't split to the boy I want to kiss. But free meal. Free meal, free meal. Free meal. And also the cowboys were like, do you want to do some shots? And we were like, yeah. And shots in America, not like shots in the UK. No, it's crazy. It was half, I had half a pint of tequila.

We downed half a pint. I was already a little bit tipsy. I had half a pint of tequila and was like, oh shit, my cheeks are hot. We go to this dinner. A lovely dinner, great. Then the brilliant lady who's looking after us, she was like, okay, we've got something planned for after this meal, you might not be into it,

but we're gonna go to the White Horse, which is the bar I was just in. And she was like, it's kind of like a bit more like of a local, like I'll give you a bit of a Texas experience. And I was like, yes, I was also very drunk. And I was like, I'm so excited to go back there. So there's a guy there, fancy. And I shouldn't say these things.

You know, you always say to me, like, keep some things for yourself. I immediately just told everyone, I was like, I fancy a boy. Shouldn't have done it. It makes the night exciting for everyone. It really does bring excitement. Also, I didn't know him at all. I'd just seen a man play guitar and gone, well, I want to meet the entire night about that.

Anyway, we go to this bar. He's still there. I see him. I'm like, oh fuck, he's still here. All the women I'm with are like, okay, amazing. What's the plan? And I'm like, oh, we can't make the whole night about this. Like, this is so silly. But we decide that we're going to get a picture taken in a photo booth, right?

The curtain of the photo booth is pulled to the side. It's him! Whoa! It's him and his friends! And he comes out and I go, I saw you play, I thought you was really good. I thought you was really good. We all chat for ages and ages and ages. I am like, oh, he's so nice and he's funny. And we're really getting along and all his bandmates are really sweet and nice and they're like nice boys because they could be awful boys, lovely boys.

And then my agent was asking, I didn't realise this at the time, was asking his bandmate if like he was single. Good agenting. Good agenting creating opportunities. Or it's making moves. Yes. So is he single? Like what's his deal?

He's a nice guy. And his bandmate was like, yeah, he's like the best guy. And so Steph was like giving me the thumbs up and I was like, oh fuck. And then I think maybe his friend did the same to him. I'm not really sure, but then the mood shifted. We'd gone from chatting to being like, oh, cause he was going to go. And I was like, no, I don't think you should go. I was like, I don't think you should go. I think that's stupid.

So why would you go? Don't go. It's like, I don't think you should go. I think that's stupid. So why would you go? Don't go. And then he was like, or I was like, I can't remember, but let's say he, because it's more romantic. He was like, do you want to come and help me get my equipment from behind the stage? It was him. It must have been him. Yes. You didn't have any equipment. Yes. Yes. And then his bandmate trying to be good was like, oh no, no, you stay here. I'll go get it.

And it's like, no, dickhead, we want it to be alone. So then I was like, oh, why don't we get your equipment from outside? There was no equipment outside. And he's like, oh yeah, okay. So then we go outside and we go behind this like outdoor stage and the second we get around the corner, we kiss. We kiss like the fucking world is ending.

It was hot and it was like urgent. And it was like, oh my God. And then we stopped and I was like laughing because I was like, fuck, that was so intense. And it's been such a build up. This is so, I mean, like you saw a guy with a good tubby, like he's hot and then now he's kissing you. Yeah. And it was great. And then we were both kind of like, what do we do? Why do we go?

What do we do? I couldn't go back to his, he was standing in Airbnb and he was just like, and you're on your, with your agent. And I was like, yeah, we've got different rooms. We're not in bunk beds. You're a step top and table. Yeah. I'm not a little spoon. Don't worry about that. I was like, well, why don't you come to my hotel later? Because he had to go take his equipment back, blah, blah, blah.

So we walk back round from this stage holding hands. I have the biggest grin on my face. He has lipstick round him. And we walk into one step of my kitchen. And she's like, yes. And then he goes and Steph's going to me, where is he going? Why are you letting him go?

And I'm like, it's okay. He's gonna come to the hotel later. We all have a celebratory drink. That's how good these women were at Wing Woman in May. And then Steph did, I would say like the best thing a woman could do for another woman. So she was like, let's get back to the hotel. And she's like, do you have condoms?

And I was like, no, I have never thought to buy condoms for years and years and years. I've never, no, I don't need these things. She's like, okay, we need to get your condoms. We go to a vending machine. My card's not working. She tries her card. That's not working. We can't get out.

I've got a picture of Steph on her knees at a vending machine, shaking the vending machine to try and get condoms out. And then she's like, have you shaved? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. I was like, do I need to shave my legs? She touches my legs. She's like, you do need to shave your legs. And I was like, oh fuck, okay. And then she's like, come and borrow my razor. Fuck, what a woman. So we go to her room, she gives me her razor. We go to my room, which is next door,

and she says to me, she's my agent. And she says to me, look, I'm gonna put my headphones in, I won't hear a thing, and I'll be instantly asleep. You need to have a good time. I was like, fuck me. That is the nicest thing that she could have. Like it was perfect. Because otherwise you would have been a bit like, oh, you know, this is yeah.

Like what my agent is next door. Oh yeah, come on Steph. So clean, lovely, smooth legs. So smooth. I didn't have time for the rest of it. Don't worry about any of that. But at least the bottom half of my legs was silky smooth. I meet him in the lobby. I told him to wear his cowboy hat.

He did. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen. He was so fit. We got in the lift. We kissed again. I was like, oh my God. We just had the best time ever. And then he stayed the night. We did a lot of talking. He was really nice. He smelled so good and then he left and we're still in contact. I have no words. It perfect. It perfect. It was just what I fucking needed. It was just what I needed. It's like 10 out of 10. No notes. What a lovely experience. And if I never see him again, still fine. If I see him again, he's a really nice guy. Amy, it's, it's one of the best stories I've ever heard. It's so, it's so good. It's everything I wanted it to be. I'm so happy this happened to you. Steph deserves deserves some kind of award.

Yeah, it's just, it's so good. I didn't think I'd be so invested, but I was like in. I mean, you're in. Cause you've been on the journey with me. Yeah. And it's been a journey. We're in series two. Finally though. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. No, but you deserve it. Let me have a bit of it. Now and again. But now do you think you're unleashed? I would say, yeah, the seal has been broken. Wow, I'm so happy for you. This is just, I just, I don't really know what to say. I hope people feel proud of me.

Oh, they're going to feel so proud and happy for you, I think. Because I want our listeners to know that I was thinking about them during. This is for you, single ladies in your area. It can happen. It's possible. And that's, it's just so fun. All you need to do is leave the continent. Yeah. You don't get stories like that from Rochester. You know what I mean?

You're not gonna get that in bloody Walthamstow. You need to leave the country with someone who I'm classing as a professional wing woman. That's all you need. You just need to be out of the country with someone who is highly skilled and highly trained and has so much empathy and compassion that they can just make this happen. But we have the same agent. Me, you and Steph go to Rochester.

Rochester! No, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Let's get booked. Anyone want to book us for a Paul Klaus festival somewhere exciting? Yes, LA. LA, baby. Yeah, we do want to go. We do want to go to LA. Okay, we have a wonderful guest today and we're very happy to have her on. Please everybody enjoy listening to the wonderful Jordan Gray. Say it with me. I'm a goddess.

We are very lucky today. Yes, we are. We're lucky little ladies. Yeah, we're not just on our own again. No, no, no, no, no. We convinced someone to come into the studio. We dragged them here. I guess they will, some would say. We're joined by actor, comedian, singer, writer, triple threat, quadruple threat. What else can you do, Jordan? I can consume a cream egg in 15 seconds for that. There you go.

The one and only, only, the one and only, Jordan Greer. Thanks so much for having me as well, Nice. I like watching you two when you're on your own. Not in a weird way, like in the podcast. I enjoy watching the podcast. Okay, he's just gone off to a window. Through the windows at home. Okay.

Is it less creepy to say I enjoy watching the two of you at the same time instead of literally on your individual owns? It is a bit less creepy. It's what we're doing, Jordan, at the time. We have to clarify that. I enjoy this podcast very much. It really, really gives me a giggle. That's so nice. Well, thanks, Jordan.

You give us a giggle. Thanks so much. This has been great. Thank you so much for having me. That's so nice. Wait, wait, wait. I don't want to start the podcast on a bad note, but I must address that Jordan here is come on to the single ladies podcast as a married woman. Properly married. Well married. Properly married. Happily married. Now. Boo you.

It's so nice. We brought you here just so we could boo you. Is that okay? I'll take it. I deserve it. It's been an excellent 10 years of married bliss. 10 years? 10 years this year, yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I'm enjoying it. It's really lovely being married.

Oh, fuck off. Oh, come on. But she's all proper nice and lovely. She's from Czech. I do know where she's from. She's from Czechia. Formally Czechia. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. She's from Czech. I do know where she's from. She's from Czechia, formerly Czech Republic, formerly Czechoslovakia. Yeah, I'm happily married. The reason I very much enjoy this podcast with you two newly single ladies is that we opened the marriage about this time last year. So I'm dating again. I don't know how to do

that. For the first time in how long? Ten years, yes, since we've been married. So you fucked right up until... Until the morning of the wedding. Late going down the aisle. Because you just needed to finish. We married quite quickly, yeah.

She saw me hosting a music festival and then she proposed the year later at the same music festival. Oh my god! We met in between. We were together for a whole five years. So wait, no, you have to describe that, because even though, you know, we're bitter, we're whatever, we're romantic at heart, and we want to hear the story of how you met. And we want to live vicariously, so please take us through it. Nice story for the ladies. For the lonely ladies, warm up at night, thank you.

We met, so it's called Sparkle Festival. I know, right? It's like a make-me-up. She was on a little unicorn. Sparkle Festival is the national transgender music festival. It makes it sound like my whole life is just about being transgender. That's where she met. And I was hosting, and then she is in Manchester,

in like a little square in the middle of Manchester. I can't remember what it's called, but it's off Canal Street. She came in looking for some alcohol, I think, with a friend. Never seen a transgender person before, but she's like a Bohemian. Like I don't think she even knows what it is now. But she doesn't care. It doesn't mean anything to her. She's just such a little sweetheart.

And then she saw me and then she stalked me online because I played music shows. She said, can you send me your... I went to the accent. She was like, can you send me your lyrics, please, of your songs? Because she couldn't hear them all. Oh my God. And then that was very sweet.

And then we just got to talking. And then a year later, she... So I was hosting again and she came up on stage to propose. I didn't know that's what she was doing. And I'm like, I'm working. So everyone got up to sing. Oh, there's a song. What the fuck are you doing?

It was like a group number and she's not media savvy person. So I thought she just wandered on with everyone and then everyone left and she stayed. And I was like, that's your cue to leave. Yeah. Security. So she went to propose. Security. But by now. And then she told me in the mud, in the tent backstage that she had been

planning to propose, so she proposed in some mud and I got all like, I got all girly belly and I pushed, I was like, oh no. I pushed her in the mud and then she followed me to the other side of the tent and proposed. It was lovely. I got out of that mud free, but she got all muddy. So she didn't propose on stage, she was going to, but she bottled it. Because you were going to fuck off. Security dragged her on the road. It was like, I said, I'm still working.

It would have been beautiful as well. Imagine the moment I deprived all those people of in the audience. Seeing like, love finding love. That would have gone viral as well. Yeah. Ugh, what an idiot. Oh man. I'll do it again.

Well, it's a good thing I've got an open marriage now. So we can just do it. Yeah. Let's do it again. If you're out there and you fancy a viral moment. If you get double married before we get a date. Oh, that's so rude. I'm going to walk into the same. If I get double married at this point in history, human rights have gone all over the place. I can't pee in the toilet, but I can get three

times married. Yeah, I think you should be deserve some extra things. Yeah, to be fair, yeah. Yeah, these days you deserve some extra things, I think for sure. Bless her little cotton. Gosh, that's lovely. Now I'm dating and it's the most wonderful, amazing thing ever, seeing all sorts of people. But what I've learned, I transitioned 14 years ago, married for 10. 14 years I still haven't learned, I don't know when women are flirting with me.

I think that's maybe true of a lot of women who say the same. Because we're just so nice to each other all the time. Yeah. How could you look so fit? You look amazing. You're beautiful. Yeah. Like, they don't know if that's... Oh, mucking you out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you flirting or not? Does she like me? I don't know. I can't tell if she likes me.

I don't know what that was. I don't know what that movie was. So I've been on dates. I went on a date recently with a mutual friend of ours, whose name I won't say. She's from the world of comedy. And when I got all dressed up, I had this beautiful red velvet dress.

And when you're transgender, you really go like, getting all dressed up all nice is like really special and real nice. And took her to this lovely restaurant. But I was like, just in case we're transgender, you really go like, getting all dressed up all nice is like really special and real nice. And took her to this lovely restaurant. But I was like, just in case we're not, this isn't a date. I'm going to be like, everything's going to be ironic. I'm going to be like, I was friends. Imagine if this was a date, am I right? I got dressed like it was fully a date. I'd like a little red beret and I'd done all like, I was really, really, really wanted to nice and took her somewhere nice. But wait, so what was the confusion before?

So you'd been messaging and being like, Oh, do you want to go for it? Do you want to like hang out? Go hang out. But nothing has happened before that. Nothing has happened at all. Still hasn't happened. Okay. Let's just say we know.

We've been there. We've been here. Time and time and time again. I need to know this stuff. You've never worn a beret. No. A beret is the thing. No.

That's so classy. Carry on. And then I had like this big fluffy Russian coat and I was all like proper dressed up. And then I remember I was like, it was being all casual and I thought I'm going to reveal this. The roof here. Yeah. And I just see in her eyes, she was all like, she's so sweet this person. She's like, oh, you look so nice.

The whole thing was tucked into my underwear. I'd gone to Pia at Soho Theatre and the whole thing was in. And she's gone, nice. Such a bold choice. Because we're just too nice to each other. She was just like, that's so, what a lovely, bold outfit. What a lovely bold outfit. Oh my god.

And it didn't lead to anything. We went on a couple of, again, I don't know if there were dates, we've been out again a few times. It's dates. What I've learned is it's always dates. It's dates. Can you tell her that? Tell her it was a date and then things can move forward. But how do you know?

It's so hard. I hate it. Also, can I ask, so had you known this person before your marriage was open? Yeah. So do you think they are like... I think they're open as well. I think maybe they are. Have you had this conversation?

Because I guess it must be so hard to date as a married person people that know you as a married person. Yeah. Unless you're very clear like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, very clear like, oh, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, excuse me, I'm open now, ding ding ding. Do you know what I mean? We'll just put this video out on Insta. Yes!

What this is for. This is the PSA. What a long game to play. But I think there's something about some people, it's like, a lot of my friends are like sex workers, and they will always say that you don't want to meet somebody who's not into it at all. Yeah. And you also don't want to meet somebody It's like a lot of my friends are like sex workers and they will always say that you don't want to meet somebody who's not into it at all.

And you also don't want to meet somebody that's too into it. You want someone for whom it's just fine. I do meet some people sometimes where they're really excited that someone else is like married and that's like cool and oh like that's naughty, shouldn't be doing that. But I also wouldn't want to meet somebody who's like I don't care at all. Because my work is really important to me and you have to be nice to her as well. It's all like a conversation. So there is something weird about dating as a married person.

But I think nowadays, things are sort of getting a bit mad out there. And it's nice to just create these little communities. And if those communities are also having sex, that's great. Oh, why not? Yeah. Saying that we're not having sex. So the idea of communities having sex is pissing me off as well. I'm sure a lot of people are. I'm so happy for you. Saying that we're not having sex, so the idea of communities having sex is pissing me off as well.

I'm so happy for you. And you're jealous. The sex-having community, thank you. Our flag comes out next week. It's a colour that you would never think of. The flag's just wet. It's just wet. It's just a wet flag. The flag's just wet. It's just wet. It's just a wet flag.

Some things just take too long. A meeting that could have been an email, someone explaining crypto, or switching mobile providers. Except with Fizz. Switching to Fizz is quick and easy. Mobile plans start at $17 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Oh, you just love a roast, do you? How did you come to the decision?

Because in my head, you both at the same time, kind of you sat down, you looked at each other and you said, we want it to be open. What? This is, I was it to be open. It's open for all intents and purposes. It's just open, but my wife doesn't really have any interest in anybody else. So I'm really getting the best part of this deal to account for that. Always like make a trillion percent sure that she's like extra celebrated and loves because she's not also enjoying the free. She could if she wants to. I just don't think she really cares tired we just got a playstation 5 she's fine she's like can you leave the house from it

yeah I think there's something about this job we're just surrounded by people that I don't know we're a few degrees removed from a standard way of living and then it just opens up other things also tend to find people that are open I reckon there's a higher percentage of people with open marriages that are also sexually sort of ambiguous. I don't know. I think once you've opened one door, just open them all. Yeah. It was in here. Let's have a look. All these wet flags. This is where those door, the wet flags. I think you're absolutely right. I think you're absolutely right. But I also think open marriages

and open relationships, I don't know, in 10 years will be the majority. Yeah, I agree. When I first heard of them years ago, I instantly was just like, well, obviously not. That would never work. Everyone's going to be crying all the time. And now you realize, oh, you can just cry all the time in a close relationship. If you're opening it up, there seems to be like more communication, more respect. We had Jack Barry on and he spoke so brilliantly about it. And it was like, oh yeah, fuck. It's exactly the same as a close relationship

except there's probably, it's probably healthier. If you're doing it correctly, obviously there's people that maybe don't. Yeah, that was a great episode. And I loved what he said about jealousy doesn't go away. Yes. There's just the same, but we've started treating it like a cold. You just say And I loved what he said about jealousy doesn't go away. Yes. This is just the same, but we've started treating it like a cold. You just say, I've caught a bit of jealousy and go away. And it's like, oh yeah, it's just gone now.

It's like you should say, um, I've, there's something you should say a phrasing about anxiety. Like you should say, I have anxiety right now, rather than I've, I am anxious. Yeah, you're experiencing that thing in that moment, but it will pass. It's not you, you are not it. Like you are not jealous. It just comes to you and then you have to have the tools to deal with it. Oh yeah. That's it. Just let it be nebulous. Let it sort of float around. Some anxiety is here. It will be gone soon. Yeah. So do you talk about jealousy with your partner?

Yeah. It's gone so fast. It's like, what's really funny in an open marriage is like the little hurdles is like at the beginning, this is going to fast. It's like, what's really funny in an open marriage is like, the little hurdles is like, at the beginning, this is gonna sound awful, but please understand that we were still figuring it out. Like the early days, it'd be like, okay, you can sleep with somebody, but I don't want them to be very attractive. Yeah, that is so what I did.

I was like, okay. Yeah, you can have those, I'll go. Absolutely, yeah. Then try to explain, you know, it's not just about having sex, it's about meeting somebody and you like what they look like. She's like, okay, you can have sex with somebody, but they can't look like me because then what's the point?

Like, because you've got me. And I was like, again, it's not, I get what you mean. It's like, you're a different person than that person. It's a different, I've got a lot of love to give. That's all it is. I've got a lot of love to share. So then it's like the steps and we've just stepped over into the, like, we just did sleepovers, because normally I'd go see someone but then I'd go and stay somewhere else or travel.

Now we're like, now we're sleeping over, which is really nice because you get like a lovely hit of, what's the word, oxytocin every night that we took the oxytocin drip. And now she's like, I think, I keep going to do the accent, she's like, I think we can, I think I can definitely see us in the future having just somebody just there living with us, right, in the deep, deep future. She's really nice, right? That's like a full on other wife or husband or non-binary person. Wow.

Sweet, very, very sweet. A throuple. Yeah. Yeah. A throupling up. And that's so impressive of her, of how every move she's just kind of assessing and reassessing it. And I think this is what- And also of you listening to that.

Yes, yeah. But I think this is what I've realized as I've got older is when you're younger, what you're fed is this certain thing. And I was very like close minded. And then the older I get, the more you kind of firstly, you give up. But also you just, you have, you can be more practical about it. Like you can be like, oh, this person isn't my forever person. Like what I want from somebody is this, but this can be somebody for this. And I'm really learning how you can be a bit more logic. Like I'm not logical and I'm learning logic.

Wow. Crap. That's a big thing to learn. I'm not logical. I have logic right now. Is that same thing? Logic has entered the room. Logic has entered me.

And soon it will be gone. Phases of logic. Yes. Yeah, she is an absolute sweetheart. And also, like in the beginning, it's kind of me gently nudging and saying like, can we talk about this? Can we talk about this? For the last five or six hurdles, she just comes into the room one day, she'll be cooking. She's like, I just thought maybe it is okay for you to see like four people at the same time.

Whatever it is, I just made that one up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. But I said it for a reason on the podcast. There's a lot of couples as well, seeing lots of couples. Really? I think that's another thing. Oh, that's another thing being transgender.

It's like sometimes you have to be careful meeting couples. I always want to make sure it's not just because you get like a male female couple, a heterosexual couple, and then the guy's just interested in experiencing something a little bit different, but he's not into guys, they just want to experience like what's going on. So, and that's not on its own. That's like, well, who cares? Like, that's not what I'm doing.

So if it's the lady comes forward first to make that first bit of contact, then it's fine. Then it's usually really nice. Oh really? But so long as he's not sending her out as like an emissary to like bridge the gap. It's difficult that you have to think about these extra levels. Yeah. I guess you have to get quite a good intuition.

Yeah. And I have none. I have no... Fades into intuition come, but then they pass, they leave. I have no Riz, as the kids say. I have zero Riz. I don't believe that. I promise you so much. I can't tell if you're flirting with me right now. I am! See, I wouldn't know. I can't tell because married for 10 years, but then also every partner I've ever had saw me performing. So I never had to like walk up to someone and say, I think you're a nice thing going on. I have to say that. Is

that from when you were performing when you were singing or when you were doing comedy? It's bit both. Yeah. I've never basically I've never asked somebody out. But people have come up to you after comedy and asked you out. Yeah, and they know loads about you, didn't they? Because you've told them. We've never had this experience, Jordan. I wonder what we're doing differently. Maybe it's the hat. I don't know. What is it? Because we're basically the same. You're right. I have a really big head.

Get your backpack. You need your backpack back again. Where's your little backpack? You just need an icebreaker. You need a little accessory. Oh that's cute. That's what I've learned after 14 years. And famously men love accessories. Yeah that's where we've been making mistakes. But also I've appeared naked on the television on Channel 4.

Well that'll do it. So what that means is that if somebody's asking you out in a way, I'm like, well, they know I look like as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gold. It doesn't matter what I look like. They have decided that's fine. What's left to do?

Oh, God. I've had a really easy life. I mean, apart from all the human rights. Well, yeah. Everything else is great. The first is lovely. Apart from basic human rights. Yeah, yeah.

Easy. I wonder if that's just all it is. I've got a good hat. Got a good hat. Yeah. Can get basic human rights. Yeah, yeah, anything that's easy. I wonder if that's just all it is. Pretty good hat. Got a good hat. Yeah.

Can get any one on one in the audience. There's something also about, do you find this, say with auditions as well, it's the same thing as an audition. It's like if you go in and you don't really care if you get it, you probably get it because they're like, to the energy. Because I don't know what I'm doing and I'm not flirting back. I think people maybe think I'm playing like some amazing game. Oh shit. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not flirting back. I think people maybe think I'm playing like some amazing game. I don't know. But it's we're too desperate. I think we should make a podcast about being single.

That's the thing. Definitely get that out there. Get that message out there. OK, we can get the message more out there. Hello, what are you going to do? I'm going to send you more out there, to be fair. Hello, what are you going to do? I'm going to talk about this on podcast. It's great. It's nice to be able to get to know you because I'm sure there's people out there that will be listening and then just know little bits more about you. And then when the time comes, they're preloaded with information. We have said this, it's kind of like making like a rule book for us,

for our hearts. Yeah. But yeah, nobody wants to let us, it's listening. That's so interesting. Your demographic is maybe not the demographic of the people that you date. Is that what you're saying? I think we're being off putting. But I wouldn't be interested in anyone that wouldn't. Like, we're having so much fun, and if someone doesn't find that attractive, then I don't want to be with them because then they're going to ruin my fun. You know what I mean?

So I just want someone to be like, oh yeah, like it is a bit much sometimes. If someone's not listening to the episode of Glowy Pets, where I'm talking about the way I shaved my pubes, like an inverted mohawk, like a fry vagina. Someone's like, listen to that message in me. Be like, hey, I'm digging the vibe you're putting down. I don't want to know. Yeah. Okay. Interesting. But yeah, I think maybe we are slightly too desperate.

I don't know. I don't know how, why, what you would need to change. I think this is great. Can't you just... Are you flirting with us? No. Wait, are we all flirting? Are we in a joining a community? This was so easy. Again, I don't even know how it happened. Is it ham? Are you on the apps? No, but there are, I did want to say about this, there's some good ones that are for, that niche audience of people, there are ones where couples or single people are looking for couples. It's like things like field, which is a good one, right? And that's filled with a lot of people that are just looking for that third person, fourth, fifth or sixth. I don't know, how do you want, not your mum.

I think I'd quite like to be just an extra one in someone's relationship. You'd be a unicorn, It's called a unicorn. Is it? Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. You kind of look like a unicorn. It's a big horn in my head. Elegant, sleek and elegant.

And minus the horn. I'll be honest with you. I'll check my notes. I think that's just a horse. I think that's just a horse, which is not the image that I think you're putting out there. You look like a Shaftland pony. The most beautiful Shetland pony in the land. Thanks Amy. The white and the pink and the glittery. What's this called? Gingham? Gingham! Famous unicorn.

Very picnic. Halfway through. Very picnic. You don't want to have a picnic on my shoulders. But imagine if you were the third and you can kind of, I guess it's like being an auntie to a kid. An auntie to a kid. I thought you said auntie to a kid as well, just hovering it all out. No, I mean an auntie, like an uncle and an aunt, like an aunt.

Not sexy Amy, once again. No, we're even better actually. Auntie and aunt to a kid. It's not the vibe you want to bring. No, you've got me wrong. To a crazy Amy. No, I don't want to be a mom. I don't want to be a mom. I don't want to be a mom. I don't want to be a mom. I don't want to be a mom. I don't and uncle to a kid.

It's not the vibe you want to bring. Do a Bracermame me. We're repeating the words that you said. I don't mean that. I mean you're the auntie. Not better! It is better! You know when you're an auntie so you look after the kid and then you pass it back to the parents and they have to do all the shit? Yes! You go into the couple like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

The sex is the baby. The sex is the baby, OK. Oh, no, that's the worst thing I've ever said. It's a metaphor. We're all good. It's a metaphor. Which one's your brother? Yeah. What?

You're the auntie. You're the auntie. It's like, which one's your brother? I've fucked this up so hard. Right. The couple is the parents. You can just stop. You don't have to.

Do you get my point? The parents of the child. The parents of the sex. So your sibling, because you're auntie. Yeah. Yeah, there's no way around it. I guess I'm fucking either my brother or a baby, or I'm an auntie and uncle.

Oh, so it's like the caring element of it. We don't want to be bringing this in. You know what I mean? Like the child care element. Like there's so, Amy, there's multiple things wrong with this analogy. I think back to the anteater. Yeah, it's better.

You said anteater. It's very much like an anteater. Yeah, just better. You go in. We can do that again. You go in, take that again. You snuffle up all the ants. That's good actually. And then you go, I've had enough ants. Full of ants.

I'm full of ants. I couldn't get any more ants. Can't move for ants. Can't move for ants. Just cut that as a sound bite. I'm full of ants. Full to the brim of ants. I couldn't get another ant in me.

So then you leave. My point is it's good to leave a relationship to deal with all the shit. Yes. Yes. So you go in. You pay the bills. You have the argument. You've hyped it all up, made them excited, get out of there before the argument starts. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Very non-committal sort of thing. Yeah. Right. like an auntie. I don't think I'd be good with a couple. Do you not? No, I don't think so. I think I'd, I don't know how I'd, because like they've got a thing and then you just feel like you're intruding

on the thing and... Yeah, 100%. Yes. Is there elements of that? So there's, so I have a couple of couple of couples. I've squared my sexual output. And it is, yeah, if they've been together for a long time, you're like, okay, this is their house, their things, their, their bed, their bodies. That's their anhyl out there. And they, yes, there's an established thing. So you are a guest and a well respected and well loved guest. And that, yeah, so there's an established thing. So you are a guest and a well-respected and well-loved guest. And that's really, really nice. But then there's a weird thing of like, you want to go and kiss one of them and then another one. And one's cooking in the kitchen. Am I? I mean, they know what's going on here, but is that like, is that a strange sort of dynamic? But then likewise for us, I'm married. So people, they will be especially and extremely respectful of my wife whenever we're together.

They always want to keep bringing her up and saying like, is she okay? How's she doing? Because it's like bridging that gap a little bit. So they're more established people. Oh, great. I'm not messing about. These are like love interests. These are partners. Wow.

One time partners, yeah. Not all of them, that'd be mad. You're so busy. These are long-term love interests of yours? Yes, if things work out. So yeah, this is nice, especially if somebody's kind of already got a partner, then there's a responsibility. If I'm a bit sad, a bit sad this week, it's really a difficult week. So I didn't talk to some of the partners, but I'm like, well, they've all got boyfriends

and girlfriends. It's okay. They can, I'll come back around. It'll like come back around. Yeah, yeah. You don't feel responsible for somebody because you're like, everybody's got somebody. You can care and you can love, but you're not shouldering the entire emotional stability of another human being. This is the most basic question to ask, but like, I find it... What is love? How do you kiss? I'm sorry. I don't know how basic we want to get. No, thanks for asking the first two.

It was just on my mind. It's just a time thing. Like I don't even to go on dates, like I find it so hard to find the time and then like the thing that reminded me that It is possible to find love is that Taylor Swift found it on? World tour. Yeah, she found love accessories She's got doors Like she's she's doing it but like how do you because I think some people kind of get overwhelmed either from dating, they're like, oh, I can't date, I don't have the time to date.

But you're very busy career-wise, you're very successful career-wise, you have a very successful marriage. And then how do you find the time to fit in all these other people as well? I think there is something about folding it all in on itself and it all, like it all feeds the other thing. So like I only really meet people that I'm so I'll be performing somewhere and I meet them there already. Not like come to my gig. I need to see practice your balance while you're brushing your teeth. Habit stacking.

Yep. That's a really specific combination. Is that like we just learned something very specific about you, Harriet. There's something very specific about you, Harriet. Whoa! One on note as well. And then swapping hands like a total. But then also, yeah, time management is a thing. So, for example, like this SASS Friday, I'll be meeting a nice lady, a police one.

I know, I'm defecting to the other side. But to be like really delicate and lovely about it, we've never met in person before. I think it's going to go well. If I didn't think it was going to like turn into something after, we might talk for a little bit longer and find out more. But that's like, I don't want to, this isn't a fact finding mission of a date. It's more of a meeting for the first time and then we'll stay in London and have a nice time. Oh, that's so nice.

And if it doesn't work out, then I've miscalculated. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? I sound like a serial killer. No, no, you have a good awareness and an intuition of what's happening. You're right. Hopefully. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, hopefully that's what's happening.

So yeah, like I hate wasting energy. Really hate wasting energy. And that going out on a date isn't wasted energy. You meet people and find out, but I haven't got any time for it to not go well. But that's a good way of thinking of it, that it's not wasted energy because I think to me it's wasted energy. It's like, it's very hard not to frame it as, oh, if I don't meet the love of my life tonight, it's been an absolute disaster. Yeah. And so to reframe it. And I think I'm trying to reframe it that I can get energy and to prioritize doing these

things and that it can bring energy rather than be like, Oh God, this would be like so tiring or this would deplete me of something that actually it could make you a like a, not a better person, but a more kind of a person that's more satisfied or more like got all the, all the things going. The confidence you have to have to there's something about, I guess I've found the love of my life. I've got that. So that's in the bank. Yeah. This is all Yeah, that's like I don't need to use any my lifelines. I've reached the bracket of A million and you're like, do you know what? So, yeah, there is just meeting interesting people. That's the great thing. Say if this date that

went on with that comedian friend of ours, let's say it wasn't a date, it was nice. It doesn't matter. Is it as well interesting because, so your marriage was 10 years, so my relationship was like, I think 11, 12 years. I'm a different person now dating than I was then. And so it's quite nice to be kind of a more like, like I know who I am much better. Like have you found that going out and dating again? Yeah. That's so interesting.

I was gonna ask you similarly, it's like, so I'll see one partner and they'll be maybe quite an anxious reserved person, which is a lot like me. And then I'm like, oh, my wife's not like that, but I should take these lessons that I've learned and be a bit more caring in that relationship. And then I take that one to the next one and the next one. When you became single again,

the last person you dated, it was long term relationships. You project so much about that person onto everyone you meet. And then it's just slowly as you meet more people, there's a million types of personalities and different types of people. So you need different tools to communicate and to enjoy each other's company. And then also sometimes something that you and your partner

100% agreed on forever for the entirety of the relationship and you just disagree with the next person you meet. That's not a deal breaker. It's just that you were so sure about that thing being true. I don't know what it is. Yeah. That ants. Maybe that's the thing that you agreed on.

And someone says, don't do that. That's mad. But yeah, but I was with somebody for 10 years that we ate ants every Sunday night. They say a thing as well that after a long term relationship, you look for, it's called like the 90% rule or something like in 1910, you look for the 10% that was missing from your relationship. That's what you look for in the next partner and you forget the other 90% that made it good.

And that's what you're looking for. So I guess you'd, if I was to date after that in that way, you'd be looking for the opposite maybe or something that your partner wasn't. I definitely did that. Everything that I was attracted to after my last long-term relationship was just the opposite of him. Wow. And I was like, oh, look, that person has empathy. Which is a lot of these things are like good qualities to look for, but I realized I'd fully pivoted and then for a time found any traits that my ex had in abundance, I'd find that like, well, I don't want to be with that, but you've got to remember that not everyone is the same. Yeah.

Wisdom. Eat ants. Remember that. Empathy is good. The two most important lessons alive, I reckon. Keep on top of your aesthetic acid intake and be nice to each other. But have you found that you've been kind of looking back like, oh, this is something that I can find something that's different or it's just whatever finds you kind of...

I think, I don't know if this is true of all comics, I think it's probably true for quite a few. Like, newness and novelty to me is like gold dust. It's so amazing and rare. And if someone says something different on you, that's incredible. Cause we spend our entire lives drilling down into the lowest common denominator and then work our way up with nuance, like to tell jokes and tell stories in special ways. So everything's been done a million times and someone to make you laugh in a different way. Even if it's like the

most basic way. I was like, I want to think of that. So that's really nice. So novelty is really important. Also, I'm a child of divorce. I don't know if either of you are a child of divorce, but there's something definitely about... I've created one. So there's something, I'll tread lightly on this. No, no, no. It's great. I've turned out great. Very happy. I love a little Jordan.

My therapist says like, there's always something about like, it can create patterns of like... Separation anxiety. Separation anxiety. There's something about that. I've noticed that like all the important people in my life, all my partners, every single one of my agents, every producer and every department director and everything is a woman. And it's this, it's a great thing. And there's definitely, I can't pretend, I'm not naive to the fact that I definitely look

at them and they're like 1% of me is like, that's my mum. That's my mummy. My mummy. My mummy. My mummy passes me to my other mummy who gives me this and then that mummy tells me this. It's very much like what you were saying, the aunt, the uncle, the kid. They're my mum. They're all my mummy.

They're all your mum. And a lot of the relationships are a switch, I think, and what they call a switch. So I'll be like the one in charge or the one not in charge. It's 100% switch. But I do like, I am the little spring. So I'll be like the one in charge or the one not in charge. And it's a hundred percent switch. But I do like, I am the little spoon. That's something about being a transgender woman as well. I think most of us are little spoons. Well, physically we are the ladle.

Big spoon, but we are the little spoons. With a shovel in the middle. The tiny shovel. The tiny baby shovel. Some things just take too long. A meeting that could have been an email. It's a interesting. I've never thought about how in an open relationship you get to play different roles in that relationship because you only ever play one role in a relationship because it'd be kind of mad to, you know like how some people sleep on different sides

of the bed every night and that freaks me out. Yeah, it's crazy. Are you serious? You sleep on different sides of the bed? No, I don't. I don't. I don't hurt people. Oh, that I... Nothing to do with me. Because who the fuck am I doing this for? That's why I've been an African.

But if you're dating several people, you get to be like, I'm the submissive one here. I'm the one in charge here. You know, and that must be incredible. You react to people's energies and what it is. It's the best. But from the comfort of a relationship, that's what's going on. Yeah, that's it. I can't go wrong.

You're just like, well, if this doesn't work out, I should go home to my wife. Thank you very much. So this person I'm seeing on Friday, our banter that we have with each other is really sarcastic and I'm not used to it. It's everything she says is an insult and I'm insulting back and it's fun. But if somebody else, if I got on that WhatsApp from a different partner that said that, I'd be like, what? I'd be really, I'm not offended, but shocked.

It is odd. You just do kind of flit around. Feel like, yeah, maybe that's a bad thing. No, no. maybe the house of cards is going to come tumbling. No, this is like having a fancy dress box and like putting on this. I'm this person today and I deal with this like this today. I think that's incredible. It's a thing of believing that you, you deserve all the things. Like I think so often people are like, oh, well, I just have to be grateful that I have this big lump next to me.

You know, it's like I heard you, not a partner. Old lumpy. Old lumpy. So lucky to have lumpy, you know, and then they'd be like, oh, I don't deserve anything else because of lumpy. But it's like you can have lots of lumps. You know what I mean? We go with analogies. We want lumps. We want lamps. You know what I mean? We go with an allergist. We want lamps. We want ants. You're really doing a lamp for an ant. I think that's the personality quiz. You look good on that girl. I took an online quiz recently. I took one on the Harry Potter quiz to find out which

house I should be in. Turns out I should be in jail. You deserve all the things. Thank you. That is a revolutionary kind of thought. And I think it's a great thing for young kids to grow up to see. Like, specifically, some of it should be like, they shouldn't see all of it. But like to grow up and see that you like life has so many possibilities and there's not just like, oh, you know, you can keep trying to find joy in different areas. Like I think that's amazing and to have a 10 year marriage and

then be like, yeah, and I'm going to add more to it. Like people don't think, at least I think a lot of British people don't think they deserve more sometimes. Like 100% less freedom. We just don't think we deserve it. There's also people's assumptions straight away. Like, oh, well then, well then I assume you're just not that into each other anymore, I guess. It's like, no, more than ever. This is great. It's great. Or, I don't know, just, you know, decided that your sexuality has gone in a different

direction. I think at the beginning, my wife was like, like, I don't really that like guys that much. They're alright. Especially if they come as part of a couple. Because then they've got a minder. So there's someone to look after them. But at the beginning, she was like, oh, I don't mind if it's guys. Because she was like, well, I can't give you that. as part of a couple that's nice because then they've got a minder. So there's someone to look after them. But at the beginning she was like, oh, don't mind if it's guys. Cause she was like,

well, I can't give you that. I was like, that's thank you. That's already a big step, but that's not really, it's not really. Yeah. Okay. You've told us some brilliant stuff. What there's got to be a hard part to it. Is there like a, like a difficult bit? No. be a hard part to it. Is there like a difficult bit? No. Yeah, there is a, I think, oh god, there is something odd about a friend of mine, I had a massive friend breakup this year, which is harder than a relationship breakup. But she used to say this great thing of like, maybe more prescient type of thing. I think she's in an open relationship as well. And she said that there is a chance that it like dilutes each of the relationships you're in.

There is a chance that you just can't be that loving with a lot of people. And I don't know if it's true, but the worry that it might be true is kind of big anxiety all the time. I don't know. Yeah. There's the one side of it is you're a fully, you're such a realized person that you've put all the puzzle pieces together and you've got a box of puzzle pieces to spare. The other side is that you never fully a whole thing. But I think that's stinking thinking.

I think so because I think if you think about it like with friends, like the more friends I have kind of the better because there's less pressure being put on all the friends that they have to be everything to you and they have to do this. Like I think I do disagree. I think the more friends you have, the better I think. Yeah. Keep it going. Yeah. Yeah. I think the only downside is like spreading yourself too thin, like time wise, because we've got limited amount of time doing our jobs. I guess the only sticking point is like, okay, well I've got 10 love interests. I can't see you all every day. Valentine's day gets expensive. Yeah.

Yes, it takes a toll. I can't see you all. I see you all every day. Six of you a day. Seven on Saturdays. Fight amongst yourself. Nine on Sundays. Have Mondays off. Yeah. I think it would just be. It takes, I suppose it takes its toll, but then that's everything at the moment. It's stress. I've got, this is subtle, listeners won't know you're in the room with me now. You see, this is very, I don't even notice it really, this tiny, massive piece of plastic. Oh yeah. It's a heart rate monitor, because I'm, my heart's, I don't know what it's doing,

but we're not communicating properly, me and my heart. Really? It's like really freaking me out. It's so, it's stress. It's probably just psychosomatic. I'm sure it will come back and everything will be fine. But I thought it was quite apt because it's a show about dating, right? And romance and love. And I thought what I'm going to do is they'll send me the data of this, like second for second data. I will look at that while watching the podcast back and then I'll know like where my heart spiked, like which one of you I'm more into. Or like that moment when I said I was flirting with Amy,

if my heart spikes, then you know there's... Oh my God! I want to see the data! I'll share the data with you. We can decide scientifically, we can categorically, we can striate the data, we can look at it together and find out if this is going to be a match. This is fantastic. And if it is, I can print that out and I can take that around me

and be like, someone did flirt with me, like, medically. That's what't happened. There's a graph. That brings us to the end. Which is sad, but not a necessary part of life. Jordan, you've got other people to see. Yeah, Jordan's used to this. She's got more days to go.

We're really sad. We've got to die. And you've got that date at seven. Why are we still here? We've got more days to go, we're really sad, we've got a day. And you've got that day at seven? Why are we still here? I really don't want to misrepresent myself. It's not like I'm just anxious and shy person. I just happen to have loads of different random partners.

I'm not like a letharia. I don't even really know what that means. I think that's what's so interesting though, because I think I'm quite anxious, and so it would bring me a lot of stress to have a lot of partners, but to you it's not bringing you stress to have partners. Yeah, we can split the difference. I've got a few that I don't need. You can share those. Oh, could you pass them on? They're well-worn, tried-out people. Tired people.

Oh, that's what I want. I want a tired person who's been vouched for. I was having a nice heart. I think that's the clearest message you could put out in this podcast. I think things are going to change now. Okay. Things are going to change now. Yes. Thank you so much, Jordan. Thanks for having me. You're well-nice.

Thank you. This is a great podcast. Everybody should watch your new show. You should watch my new show and it's called Transaction. It'll be on ITVX and ITV2 and I play a supermarket person, an affirmative action hire who's a nightmare, but I can't be fired. And that's the show. Oh, it's fantastic. Thank you. I'm proud of it. It's beautiful and funny and colorful and everyone in it is amazing. Yes. Yes. It's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,

very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very 10 times better. Fran Mills, incredible. Thomas Grey, no relation. Amazing. Kayla McHale.

You'll have a great time. Guest stars. And just this beautiful piece of comedy. I'm really proud of it. Bit of community, little bit 30 Rock. And I'm in it. And I'm just this, but with a slightly different haircut. That's cool.

Do you have good headwear though? I have a Evil Queen style, two buns, two giant buns. Yeah. But I'm a good character. I just look like a nightmare. I look mad. Okay. And you're obviously very funny live. Where can people come and see you live? You're doing any live things? People can always come and see me at live should they wish. Go to JordanGrayComedy.com, but I'll be taking my new show, Is That a Cock in Your Pocket or Are You Just Here to Kill Me? To the edge of the fringe this year for the whole month. Amazing. And don't forget, after the show, if you want to have sex with Jordan, just

approach. Thank you for saying that. Uh oh, it looks like I've met a turtle again. Well thank you so much to Jordan. I really enjoy speaking to Jordan. Oh, absolute pleasure wasn't it? Yeah very, oh god I think we just get so inspired I guess. I know.

Inspired, yes. Jealous. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we're starting to implement things. Yeah. We're learning. Yes. And learning some more. We're learning. We're learning fast. We've been Little Bookworms. Yeah. The first series we studied so hard. Yeah. And now the worms are worming. Is that a metaphor for me having sex? The worms, they be worming. So glad you had sex. Me too. What a story as well. It's fucking cool. God, what a nice story. What a nice story to tell your grandkids one day. It's not really a story for grandkids. As wishy as it wouldn't be,

might not be with a grandfather. No, I can almost guarantee it wouldn't be. But I will tell them. Thank you so much to Jordan. You can watch Transaction on ITV and ITVX. Yes. And also she's doing her show at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. Heard of it? Yes. Pretty cool.

Yeah. And the show is called, is that a cock in your pocket or are you just trying to kill me? Fucking incredible title. Do go see that. It's going to be brilliant. She's such a good performer

and person and lover probably. I feel like you might find out. Oh, I'm blushing. I'm blushing. I'm red raw. That's all I can say. Just pink. Some things just take too long. A meeting that could have been an email, someone explaining crypto, or switching mobile providers.

Except with Fizz. Switching to Fizz is quick and easy. Mobile plans start at $17 a month. Certain conditions apply. details at fizz.ca