Single Ladies In Your Area - Reframing Your Dating Goals And Knowing Anything Could Happen With Rosie Jones

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

We are BACK from our summer holidays and to kick things off, Amy and Harriet are joined by comedian, actor, writer and dear friend Rosie Jones! Rosie shares her infinite wisdom and answers questions like: should marriage ever be your end goal? How do you avoid trauma dumping on your partner? And is monogamy just as simple as one-lady-yes-please-yum-yum-yum?Catch Rosie's sitcom Pushers, available to watch now on Channel 4.See Rosie live on tour around the UK with her brand new stand-up show 'I Can't Tell What She Is Saying'. For tickets and information head to rosiejonescomedy.com.And you can learn more about and support the Rosie Jones Foundation at www.rosiejonesfoundation.com.Single Ladies are recording a special LIVE edition of the podcast on Saturday 13 September as part of the London Podcast Festival! For tickets and information head to plosive.co.uk.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodAnd follow Rosie @josieronesRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, this is Harriet Kemsley, and I'm very excited to be back on tour around the UK with my new show, Flusi. As listeners of the podcast will know, I am really trying my best to be a bit of a flozy, but it's not going particularly well. The dates are on sale now. It's going to be autumn 2026. For tickets and information, head to plosive.com.com. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down.

But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on.

Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Hello, we're back from our holidays. and I am dating. I'm out there and I've got a little story. And we also speak to the wonderfully wise and incredibly horny Rosie Jones. Oh, hello everybody. We're back. We're back from our summer holly bobs. We had our little summer holly bobs and now we're back.

How are you doing? I'm good, thank you. How are you doing? You're glowing. I am, I'm dating. Oh, what? I'm, yeah, I'm just doing it. It's kind of the first time in my life that I've just, that I'm just doing it. That I'm just going on dates with people.

Oh my God, you've done it. You've gone to the other side. You're just doing it. You are, you remember when like, series one, we'd get people on, like, Felicity Ward and they'd be like, yeah, we just go, you know, I just gone to date. It's not at that level. Let's just say, yeah, it's not on Felicity. If I don't remember Felicity's episode, it's not, it's not on that level, yeah. But we'd be like, how, how are you?

doing it and you're doing it. You've done it. You've crossed over. I know. It's interesting. It's taken like two years and then now it's like the pressure's off and it's like it doesn't feel like it just really felt like if I went on a date, stakes were so high. Yeah. And this and everything's just calmed down a bit. And I think, I've taken the pressure off. I've taken the pressure off and I'm looking for my person so it doesn't really matter, you know? And then also I'm just trying to meet with people that I'm like, oh, that's something like interest. There's like something about them that I would like to hear about. Great.

You know, like, you just see a little thing. And it's nice because I can, like, control it. Like, even in my 20s, I wasn't dating a lot. Like, yeah. It would just be like you'd stumble into bed with somebody. Yeah. Like, that's what would happen. You'd get drunk at a nightclub.

Yeah. And wake up together and then go, right, shall I see you again? You did just get next week. Yeah, that was it. Whereas now that's not happening. But, yeah, I want to, yeah, I want to be my person. I'm not in a rush. And I'm trying to new things.

where I'm practical. I'm not a practical person, Amy. I don't know if you know this about me. Yeah, but practicality does not go with it. But I'm trying to be practical with love because I've been in something that was brilliant for some reasons, but practically was not brilliant. And so now I'm like being like,

okay, these are the things I need. And I'm just not going to let myself fall for somebody unless I know that it's like the right match. Oh, I love this. These are all big things that I'm saying. I'm just saying lots of big things. I'm saying lots of big things very confidently. Yeah.

We meet again in a month. Sure. But big things happen when you start thinking and saying them, I think. Yeah, I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I'm saying it in the head. I'm saying it out loud. And I'm just... You're manifesting.

I'm manifesting. Yeah. And so there's like, you know, like there's... I think I'm in Australia who I like, but he lives in Australia. You know, I'm looking at least this side of the world. Sure. And so, yeah.

So I'm just going on dates and we're just seeing what happens, you know, and seeing who we meet. So tell me who you've met. So I went on one day recently and, yeah, everything went wrong. Every single thing went wrong. I mean, this is it. It's not always going to be smooth sailing. Sometimes your personality comes out and there's nothing you can do about it.

So there was a guy and I think it's quite attractive. and he had a very like hot job where he worked in security for this news thing. We like had to like work out like safe routes. Like it was a very like like, like, so I was like that's so interesting. Like I found it very interesting. Yeah. I did like a day's work experience in like news and I'm just very interesting. And I'm just very interesting like foreign correspondence and stuff like that.

I just think it's a very like interesting world. And so we arranged me up for this day. I could only do 10.30 a.m. I'm so busy at the moment that I had to be so specific. 10.30 a.m. Has there ever been a sexier time on a Sunday to meet up with somebody? On a.m. Well, what was quite funny is I did, the day before I had been my birthday. And, you know, like, I did stuff in the morning. I had a show in the evening. But then I did have a gap of like an hour and a half in the middle. And I was like, oh, we could actually meet up there. But I was like, Harriet, can you imagine if he's like, oh, when's your birthday? And I'm like, today is my birthday. Can you imagine? He's like, with you. I would think that was so weird if somebody did that. that to me, but then I was like, oh, but practically.

It's my birthday today. You're taking me out because you're my best friend. But then otherwise, this is the day that worked. We wanted to meet up. But yeah, anyway, I was like, you can't do that. Like, I would find that so weird. You mustn't go on a first day on your birthday. Just, you know, like, we've got the top tips on this podcast and you can learn. So anyway, it was the day after my birthday. I could only do 10 30 a.m. the sexiest time. Yeah. So he drove a motorbike to the day. I was like, we can go wherever. And I was like, oh, my God.

And so he came kind of my way. And so we rained to me at 10.30 a.m. 10 a. I get a message saying, oh, can I order you anything? And I was like, wow, this is a grown-up. He's got a proper job. He gets to the restaurant early. He susses it out.

You know, he does security checks. Of course. Of course. He gets that early. The entrances and exits, the safest is out. Yes. Yes. I was like, oh, yeah, I have like a, uh, an oat latte or whatever.

And I'm just getting ready. I don't send there. And then, you know, I get on my line. bike, I go down there and then I get off and I breeze in, I breeze into the date and he's sat there. And then it quite clearly becomes evident that he's like slightly annoyed. And I can't quite work out why he's, why would he be annoyed? And anyway, it turns out that he thought the date started at 10 a.m. So I breeze in at 10.30.

No apologies. No nothing. Just like, I'm here. Like the worst energy that anyone can ever have. Like, and he's a message at 10 a.m. And I never said, I'm sorry. I'm going to be late or anything because I said it was 10.30 a.m. And so it gets off to the wrong foot because he obviously thinks I'm an entitled

prick that just is like, oh, he's so lucky I'm here, you know, like that is like, and I was like, no, oh my God, I wouldn't just walk in at 10.30 and not even say sorry that I'm half an hour late. That would be mad. And he was like, no, I checked last night and it was 10 a.m. And I was like, no, you don't, this can't be it. This can't be what's happening. This isn't true. And he was like, well, you know, I checked. Anyway, I did check afterwards. And it was 10.30. Oh my God. So I was right.

But it started on this weird footing. And then I was like, I don't know if he likes me. Like he can't go over this first impression. And then we're chatting. And then he said something. And I was like, oh, he does like like. Like he's like kind of compliment me. And I was like, oh, he does like me.

Okay. And then I picked up my glass and I dropped it. And it smashed into, this was the most over-dramatic glass you have ever seen in your whole life. I've never seen a glass smashed literally a thousand pieces, Amy. It makes loud of this noise. 10.45am. This glass everywhere.

And then I was like, excuse me, I'm, could I get a dustpan and brush? And she was like, no, don't worry, I'll do it. And I was like, oh my God. And she's on her hands and knees, like underneath us.

It's a bit just over there. It's really travelled. This glass is really good around the restaurant. And it's just like so stressful. And then I was like, oh my God. Because I did, I did like, I was like, oh, I'm like, attracted to him. Like, I did quite like.

And then I went to the toilet. And then I came back and he'd like move my bag to like keep it safe. Because hard obviously putting an unsafe place. But he's in security and say, you know, he could keep me safe. You know, just one of the things I'm looking for, you know. And then I was like, wow, that's hot. And then I was like, oh, but I don't know if I like me like the glass thing, it was like a bit much.

And then I was like, yeah, you should probably know. Like I'm a bit clumsy. And it was like, good to know. You know, and you just want to. And everyone, all my friend's like, well, you know, like it's good he finds out at some point. But you know, you just like, you could microdose it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I was like, I don't know if he likes me if it's been too much for a roller coaster this date.

But then as we said goodbye, it was like, so like, so like, so like, oh my God. Like I was all like flustered. He like kind of took me by the waist. And it was like, oh my God. Shut up. Yeah. And it was kind of, but it was, you know, it's still like very much daylight. It's morning.

It's still morning. It's morning time. And I was like, wow. This is amazing. What did you kiss? Amy, it's 11.30 a.m. We're not going to like, he didn't kiss. He took me by the way.

He took me by the ways. But I was all flustered because I was like, oh, like, but it would have been such a roller coaster if I couldn't work out if he liked me or not. So yeah, I don't know. But then we did, we did speak a bit afterwards. But wait, what did he do? He took you, how?

He took you by the waist and then that kind of like, I was like, oh, and then he like kind of kissed me on the cheek. And I was like, oh my goodness. But it was like the way he did it. Like I, it was very, um. Oh, I get it. now that's nice. Suddenly I had like you know when you're kind of taken and somebody's like it's very strong. Oh my God. It was really nice but then and then yeah I think it was a bit much too soon. I think

I was a bit too chaotic but who knows. But yeah it was um I'd love for you today someone who can just keep you so sick. I don't know if this is really bad but it is one of the things on my list now where I just want somebody that like and I don't know if that's like I was so worried I was like literally talking to my therapist about it like I don't want to be like toxic but I a lot of the time I don't feel safe, you know, and I do want someone that makes you feel safe. Yeah. And sometimes I know that they can, you can go to them to be safe and then they're the ones that aren't safe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been guilty of that in the past. Statistically, they're the least safe. Yeah, that's it. But I do, I do, that is one of the things on my list. And so he ticked that box and he was very interesting. But also, you know, like, oh, you know, like about meeting up again. And then he was like, oh, well, you know, like, I don't know.

Because it was the morning that everything had been happening in Iran. And he was like, yeah, I might have to go to Iran this afternoon. And really, you're like, Oh my God. Yeah. So, yeah, it was quite dramatic. That's cool, though. I wasn't cool.

That was the problem. I didn't say you were cool. I said that's cool. The situation's cool. You turning up in his eyes half an hour later and immediately smashing a glass into a thousand pieces. I've seen, bear, I've seen worse. Both you.

One of the things is I find it really stressful going to date. Like, I find it really stressful. and I think I need to just do dates that are walking or something. I find sitting in front of them, like, I didn't, I just meant because it was morning like to get a coffee or something. And then he was like wanted, like, when food and I was like, I find eating in front of them, like just even eating. I'm too stressed to even eat.

Like I don't know how to do it. Yeah, I totally get that. I get all flustered. There's nothing like eating with a knife and fork and listening to a conversation and speaking and then having your mouthful is too, it's too many things. I just, if we go to like a mashed potato restaurant or something and I know that's not sexy, but something that you can spoof. Mash and gravy is the only thing, the only sexy foods, I think.

I reckon I could eat like sharing nachos. That's a really good idea, something like that. But a thing where you're like trying to cut, like, I just, I just can't do it. I get all flustered. I was hearing like activity dates is a way to go. Like the thing is, I don't want to do any fucking activities. So you want to go on an activity? where he does an activity and you just watch.

Yeah, I doesn't sit with a cocktail, you know, but that is the way that you bond, I think. Like, that is a good thing to do. What would you do? What activity would you do? I don't know. I was thinking about bowling recently. Like, I never just go bowling.

I really want to go bowling. Yeah. Can we go bowling? Yeah, should we just go bowling? Yeah, let's just go bowling. So yeah, but I feel, I just, you know, I'm dating. I'm trying it. And, you know, we're making mistakes.

We're learning, but I think it's good. Like, I'm learning what I want and what I'm looking for. looking for, you know, and I'm putting myself out there. And taking the pressure off, I think, is a huge thing. Yeah. I'm not quite there yet. I still have only been on one day to off and up. But that's so much more.

That's 100% more than last series. Yeah, exactly. And it's taken, I've been divorced, like, we've been separating now two years. Like, that's a long time. And it has taken me that long to, like, feel like, I suddenly feel like I feel like I feel alive and I feel happy and I feel like in a space where I can have fun. And who knows how long that's going to last. But right now I feel it.

you know, so let's go with it. Well, I'm very proud of you. I think you've come very far from series one. Yeah. You're dating. You're out there. You're smashing glasses. You're doing everything you've always dreamed.

And do you know what? I'm going to follow in your footsteps. Are we? I'm going to try. I think I need like a little bit more advice. And I think I know who we can get it from. We've got somebody who, you can't stop her. You couldn't, if you didn't, if you'd,

tried. No. It's one of our favourite people. Please welcome to the pod. Rosie Jones. It's a much. We're here and we've brought a little lady with us. A little cheeky little lady who's so much trouble.

She's the troubliest little lady that I've ever come across. Hello. Yes, it's a Rosie Jones. I don't think I've ever been called a lady before. Shut up. Sorry, wench, a cheeky little wench. Cheaky little, sexy little ones. You've added sexy yourself.

I like to put out of it. But can I start this by saying, I am such a fan. of single ladies. I'm glad you said single ladies. I wasn't sure where this was going. Wait, do you mean the podcast or just women who are single? As deniably Rosie is a family of ladies.

I would say all ladies. All ladies in any area. That would be running the podcast. No. I have listened. every episode of your pod. I love it. It started when I was filming my sitcom up in Manchester,

and I'd never felt so single and alone in my life. And I thought, oh, wow, Harriet and Amy will help me through this that time and show me how to meet someone. It turns out your shit to the matter. Yeah. Shots fired. People have come along for guidance.

And that's not what they found. But comforting. Yeah, I came for the guidance, but I stayed for the feeling that it can't be worse. Crazy. Wow, it's brutal, but it's true. It is true. And also, I was going to say because I'm like,

oh, Rosie's gearing up to tell us what great advice we've given. I was going to say, and you've given us wonderful advice. but now I don't even want to say it. No, I know. I know. We were just talking before we came in that Rosie has given us both good advice.

Yeah, I feel like I am better at giving advice and I am taking it. Yeah. But jokes aside, you two are both dear, dear friends of mine. And I feel like, we've had separate conversations where I basically grab you by the face and go

you do not realize how fucking amazing you are and I just want to say that you are going to find people because you are two of the best people that now. This is how she gets you. This is this kind of stuff. This is how she lures you in.

She says the nice stuff. And then she gets you. We're not falling for this shit, Rosie. That's very nice. Yeah, thank you. None of that here. Oh, sadly, no. We love you.

It's at the beginning. I can spend the right stuff that I'm ripping into it. Yeah, so I think, I wanted to share what you said to me. So in January, we went for dinner. I was in such a grump. I think people were listening to the podcast. I remember I was in a real grump, and I couldn't stop being grumpy.

And I was, because I was like, I just felt so frustrated. And I didn't know, like, I just didn't know, I just felt like I needed to meet the right person. need to be perfect and I couldn't make another mistake. And you said this thing to me that was really helpful and it just reframed everything. It's not even necessarily like what I, what I want, but it reframed it because you were like, Harriet, you don't need to find the perfect person. You might find somebody that you're with for 10 years and then you break up and then you're with somebody, you're on your

own for a bit and you enjoy that and that could be the best time of your life and then you're with somebody for five years and then you have a 30 year relationship and then they die and then you meet somebody else you're like you you don't need to see it as like you have to find the perfect person and sometimes you could see that as yeah it's a bit bleak rosy I'm looking for my big love but but but it was quite nice because it just took it took the pressure off a bit yeah I can't make a mistake and it made me forgive myself for getting a divorce and you just framed it as like that was a wonderful part of your life and that happened and that brought you to where you are now yeah and um thank you she is wise underneath it

Oh, yeah. Underneath the cuttings. Yes. I try not to give it to everyone, but I am incredibly clever. Yeah, she hides it so well. Yeah. She doesn't want anyone to know.

Good for you. But I fully believe that because a lot of my friends are poorly. and I'm not. I'm very monogamous, one lady. Yes, please. Yum, yum. Yum.

Yum. You've got two types of people, polyamorous people. And people who are like, one lady, yes, please. Yum, yum, yum. Yeah. Yeah, we get this a lot, Rosie.

Yeah. But I agree with whether polywold is as human beings, we are capable of loving so many people in different ways. And I would hate that feeling of falling in love. it's not working out for whatever reason and then believing that I am not worthy of that happening again. Yeah, because this is where I was. I was like, oh, I made a mistake. I had the thing and then I can't make another mistake

because this has to be it forever. And it's like, that's what I want. I am monogamous. That is what I want. But I don't have to be so hard on myself about it. That's it. There's so many reasons why a relationship couldn't. And 99% of those reasons are probably nothing to do with what you did.

It might not be right at that time anymore. and I would hate to love someone so deeply it comes to an end and look back at that time and think of it as a mistake or something I did wrong because when I was in there, when I was fully deeply in love. That was the right thing for me at that time. Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

And then you reframe something else, which is, I kind of want to call my next show you this because it really stuck with me where you said, you're in a period where anything could happen, and it's so exciting. Because you can see that as like a negative thing. Like you can feel like it when you're single,

you're at a period where you're like, oh God, anything could happen. Like, anything could go wrong, but also, like, anything could happen. Like, this is it every day. Anything could happen. Like, you could meet the love of your life or you could suddenly, anything could happen. Yeah. Again, I love you both.

But, here we go. But I think definitely at the beginning of the pod, you were like, we're going to find a soul mate. I was listening as a friend going, both of you are not ready for you so much. Both of you need. Hope of you need to find you cowboys. You need an Australian holiday.

And I think what I am loving, hearing at the moment, is you have embracing those different kinds of loving relationships and thoughts. And if you get to a point where you go, I want marriage, I think, is you. the one I want to be with. Great, but I don't think that should be anyone's angle. I think their goals keep evolving as we as human beings keep evolving.

And I think just coming to it from a place of being like a just want a man that I can have fun with or that I want a man that I can have deep relationships with and deep conversations is much healthier than going. I want that fairy tale ending because I think definitely when you are intelligent, independent, ambitious women,

your goals should be much bigger than I want a husband. You're a bit like yo-dice-a-old. something. Yeah, she's like, she's like listening in from afar. She's like watching us. And then she's like zipping in and giving us advice and then going away. And then she's like, got to come back here.

They need to land the next stage of level of Jedi. Mind tricks. I was listening to Rosie thinking, oh, what a shame Rosie should be hosting this podcast and not me in Harriet. I was like, that's so wise. That's so spot on. And I was like, hmm, okay, well, you've come on our show. May it does look like full.

But that's so true, that's so wise. And really what I'm going to take away from that is we need to do more fucks. You always need to do more fucks. Yes. When we went out for dinner, I was single at the time, but I was in such a place where I was like, If I meet a woman, great. But my friends have amazing,

my career's good, I love my home life. I don't need someone. And I still believe that I will die at a hundred and two. I will check out then. And if I am dying next to a woman that I've been married to for 60 years, great. But if I die surrounded by my gorgeous friends, and I am joking. And looking back about that 10-year relationship with that amazing woman

on the year of fucking I did that 62 for the 15-year marriage that brought me two gorgeous children. If I can go, hello to her, hello to her, hello to, she was hot. I would still die, a happy, happy woman. Yeah. I love that. It's reframing it. It's like you don't have to be perfect.

It doesn't have to stick with something. Life will work out, and however it works out, we're going to make the best of it. Is it ham? Oh, hello. We're just nipping in here in the middle to remind you that we have a pretty bloody good Patreon actually. Yeah, we're really happy with that, actually. We've been building it over the last years. We've got lots of episodes where we read listeners' emails.

We say some very fruity things, some spicy things and some naughty things. You're safe because it's behind a pay wall. We're safe. Our exes aren't paying for this. No, no, no, no. But it's a really lovely community and it's a really great way. If you like the podcast, it's a way of supporting us and meaning that we can keep making more episodes. Yeah, we'd love you to hop on to patreon.com forward slash single ladies in your area.

Or is it ham.org? Yeah, that's not a joke. That's true. It's still going. I resubscribed. I've got another year of it. You've got to get in there and sniff them. What advice does she give you?

It's good. So when we're in Australia, Rosie knew I was meeting a boy off Hinge. And I was having like a pre-match debrief, with Rosie of like, I'm bit nervous, what am I going to do? Oh, I'm so scared and all this. And I might call my next show this

if we're just going to take Rosie Jones quotes, actually. Because I was like nervous because I hadn't had like... Rosie Jones made me do it. Fuck more. By Rosie Jones. Rosie said, because I was like nervous about my body and stuff, and Rosie said, keep the light on. I never keep the light on when I have set.

Like, I'm always like, as little light as possible. No, don't look. And Rosie was like, just keep the light on. And I kept the light on. And it was so brilliant and so freeing. And I felt so confident and good. And I was like, this is a big step for old gladys. Yeah.

I was so proud. I'm sorry. I just keep my teacher. I don't understand how this has happened. Oh, six pest Jones is the one that's giving us advice. It's happening. We got this with a wisdom of someone 300 years old. Girls, I was so proud of you.

I've been listening to the podcast. I've come so far. You've come so far. I've been thinking, I just need to tell you this at this point. I'll be back when you need me. Ladies, I'll be listening. Why did that become less wise? You're normal and you too are a fucking idiot.

There is an argument from both. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit of one, a little bit of the other. Yeah, we're back. How do I do it, Rosé? How do I do it twice? The only thing I would have come through advice to you is about how to do dicks. Yeah, yeah.

Other than that, I would ask you anything. Dicks I do not do. But are you saying, when you're kissing and you know which is going to happen, at what point do you just stop it, get up? and turn the light off. And that was when I was like, wait, what are you turning the light off? And I think you said,

well, I don't want him to see me, which just brought my heart, because you know, how fit I think you are and how so many people know how beautiful know how beautiful you are. And I just think if you're going to be looking enough to have sex with Amy Gladale,

you need to see the much stupid. You need to drink it in. I just said what I want to see him. And you were like, well, yeah, because I did. And I just think sex is great. I love sex. But what is better than sex is just being with someone you really like and really fancy taking in their body, just enjoying touching the moment. And I was just so happy that you went, yeah, fuck it.

This says to me. Enjoy. Drink in the masterpiece. That's why I'm going to start. Yeah, from your mum. Yes, please, yum yum. Yum, yum. You do realise that in that interaction I had

because of what we talked about, I was thinking about you in that moment. That's what she does. That's what she wanted. She wanted to get in your head. She's thinking of her. Yeah, we know now. No, but I really appreciate it.

And I, like, it was such good advice. And I genuinely think it's changed me for the good. Good. And I have... Drink up. Sorry, that way. You see, I've gone too far now. You've given me too much confidence.

There's got to be a ceiling on this confidence. It's so interesting to hear where we've come from, though. You know, like we were just, like, even the thought of, like, kissing someone. Like, it is, like, it is embarrassing. Let's not listen back everybody. But we just were, like, so overwhelmed by it. because we just hadn't done it and it just felt so new. For both of it to come out of long-term relationships,

starting back at what feels not only so scary, but like, we're here again, we're doing this. And I think back at the beginning, you were trying to rush their first few steps because you just wanted to get back to where you ended the last one. But now I think you're enjoying the possibility of something brand-y-old. and enjoying the fact you can sleep with someone and you don't need to marry them or kick someone and have a three-month love of that and I think reframing it too.

Anything can happen. is so much help for you. Yeah, I've got to stop marrying them. That's what we're learning. Please stop marrying them. Please stop marrying them, for God's sake. Been up to much this weekend. Where do you think you got your confidence from?

Perfect body. I mean, yeah, it's very easy for you. She rubbed herself. I would just be confident. I'm trying to. No. You know. I'm very aware this is a comedy podcast,

but I think normally in my stand-up, because I'm disabled and because I'm a woman, I go on to stage with this, high energy, high energy, high confidence, I can fuck anyone deal with it. And I think that real me was always incredibly confident with friends and confident in my work. but sex, dating and relationships terrified me

and I'm 35 now and we'll get into it later but I'm in my first ever relationship because several reasons. I think as a teenager, no one fancied me because of my disability. I don't think teenagers are mature enough to see past it. In my early 20s,

I knew I was a gay, but I didn't know how to come out, because I felt like being disabled and gay would be too much for people. And then when I came out at 27, I started dating, I had a lot of situations, but it would always get to a point where I would realize that I liked them. And I knew that point because I would go, oh my God, they deserve someone non-disabled. and I will push them away because I didn't think I was enough for them. And then I went to therapy at 30. And a lot of what we talked about was the interesting combination between

me thinking and believing that I wasn't worthy of love because I was disabled, paired with. No one ever proving my theory wrong. I could count so many situations where a mental moment. in the bar and then they heard me talking and then they walked away all the amount of times where I would put I was disabled on dating apps. Get no matches. Take it out on my bio and immediately get me.

So it's very hard to get out of that thought process that I was single because I was disabled when all the society wasn't proving me wrong. Therapy did help and I would say to what. end of that year, I felt worthy of a little bit. But in my old age of 34, even then I knew that I wouldn't settle for just anyone because I've tried myself on creating a life that is amazing. So even going back into dating, back into wanting to find someone, I never ever settled for someone that I did.

that I didn't think was good enough for out to the standard that I have set for all of the parts of my life. I think that's so good not to be like, because I think so many of us are like, you have the pressure. Like, I definitely felt this of like in society, like you have to settle down. Like, that's what happens and not to listen to the external noise

and to take things of your own pace. Slowly kind of building yourself and your confidence and your friends and your life. Yeah. And then waiting until you find somebody that adds to it. I think that's great. Yeah. I think actually when we went for dinner in January, I got to the point where I hand on heart was like, if I meet someone great, but if I don't,

My life is so amazing. I'm not waiting for the woman. And actually, it's so cliche, but I think a week later I met my girlfriend. Come on, men. Tell us all about it. So this obviously happened, And then you went to Australia.

And when me and Rosie met up in Australia, I've never seen a human being so smug. So glowing with happiness about this new relationship. And it became quite a running thing of like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Rosie's in love. Yeah, rub it in, rub it in. But it's actually amazing. Thank you.

It's amazing. And I've met your girlfriend. She's amazing. You suit each other. It makes me so. You're both so happy, and you both clearly think so much of each other. It's gorgeous. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. But I do want to say two things. One, even though I was at the place where I felt ready, but it didn't define me. I had still built up the idea of the relationship in my head because it was something that I'd never experienced before. So it would terrified me. And before I say this,

without they've been going out six months, so it's very much the honeymoon phase. But it clicked for me early on that. I was like, a relationship is a best friend that you fancy this shit out of. And when me and my girlfriend hang out, we just laugh, chat, have fun, and shack. And I'm a bit like, I mean, all it is in the best possible way.

Yeah. It doesn't have to be so complicated. Yeah. And the second thing was, I think, I think, I delayed to getting in a relationship for so long because even away from my disability, I thought I needed to be the perfect partner. I thought I needed to cook her eggs every morning.

I thought I needed to do something that was beyond what I was doing already. And it was early on when I realized that I could be quiet with it, or moody with it, or far in front of it, that I'd. that I realized that there was no part of me that was pretending when I was with it and being someone that I wasn't before women. So, yeah, it is annoying how happy. Yeah, yeah.

I love that. I do still want men to pretend a bit, With me, I think that's really nice, but yeah, I don't want that much. Keep up the pretense. Say it with me. I'm a goddess. How did you meet? We met every your life.

We met at a musical theater piano bar, which is actually great. Gayish, yeah. Yeah. But that is one good. good thing about you, I will say... Just the one good thing about... There is one good thing about you that I will admit is that you're very good at...

You're very social and you're very good at going out. Even though you're busy and you're working all the time, like you're out there a lot. And I think that raises your chances of meeting someone in real life. That's it. And I got to the point, I'll carry at this by saying, I am not an arrogant prick.

Well, I know I am not fucking Maga Robbie, but I'd reach the level of fame. I hate that word. Where I wasn't comfortable using dating. I walk down the street with you. It's, that's absolutely fair. People are stopping it constantly. She's a national treasure.

Yeah. For better or worse. She's a national treasure. You get what you get. And England gets Rosie. You are welcome. You get the national treasure you deserve. And in this country, this is the one that we deserve.

I think especially queer women my age. Everyone knew me in a way that never felt comfortable with me. And again, braggled. But when I did gigs, I will get women coming up to me. proposition in me. Ew. Eo.

But that never sat right with me either because I knew that they were more attracted to the job than their person. Are you listening? Are you listening? Male comedians. No, they're not. No, they're not. They're not tuning into this.

I think it's a lovely idea. So actually, I got to the point where I was dating friends of friends or people I met in the workspace, away from. comedy. Yeah. But actually, I'm at the point where I'm okay with it.

But I'm in such a unique status in that my disability in terms of society gives me a low status. but my job, my career, gives me a high status. And my girlfriend's amazing, there's nothing on her at all. But she absolutely came up to me in the back. because she approached me, which I fucking loved. I am daddy in public, but I am not daddy in private. And just her having their confidence to come up to me and go,

Hello, I'm gay, which she did. No way. Because she looks like friends. So some people think she's straight. Right. And from the off, she wanted me to know that interaction was flirty. That's incredible. She's got that out the gate.

But she came up to me because she knew me, she knew me comedy. We are both demisexual, so we don't fully, fully feel sexually. to someone until we know them. So she absolutely approaching me because she knew my comedy she found me funny. I don't know

if she would have approached a woman with terrible palsy in her back. And again, that's no shade on her. But I feel like my job helped us jump through three or four more hurdles quite quickly Because even practically when she said, hello, I'm gay. And I opened her mouth and my distinctly disabled voice came out. She knew what she was getting into.

and she was prepared for it. Whereas if she didn't know that, and again, no shade on her or anyone, that might be a shock and that is such a big barrier to ever. come when you are literally in the first few minutes of flirting and go and do I actually fancy this. Do you have any advice for anyone disabled that is dating? It's so tricky. It's so tricky.

I would definitely do. what I did and go to therapy if you can afford it. If you can't afford it, there's many great charities out there that fund counselling. We know one very good charity and new charity. Including the Rosie Jones Foundation. So there is help out there to get that confidence and self-esteem that even out of sex and dating, you fundamentally need to enter a world every day

that isn't set up for the day. for disabled people. If you want to do dating apps, do it. I was never strong enough for myself to deal with the shit that comes along with being disabled on a dating app. I think disabled or not, it's always better to go out there, get talking, go to pubs, go to work, go to your best friend, and go,

is there anyone you know that you can set me up with? Or best friends listening, think to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not ever going to sit there and go, oh, just because you're disabled, it's easy. It's not. It's a lot harder. And even for me, in my relationship, three weeks.

I had the normal, oh, oh no, I like her. She deserves someone not disabled, but because of my work that I had done in myself, I did a combination of things. I firstly went to her and I said, I am feeling this way, but I don't want to put that on you. And I went to my closest friend. And I said, I am feeling all of these.

things and because I wasn't putting all my trauma, all my internalizabilism, onto my girlfriend, I was able to talk it through with my friend and then go back to the relationship, feeling much healthier. Because that's something I've done in previous dating situations. I think I've put too much of my trauma onto that person. And it's not their job to make sure you're not. not bringing 20 years of trauma. They should know where you're at and how you're feeling,

but I also think you should learn out as a self soon. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge. I have one final question for you. Something we've been struggling with is that the world has just felt quite shit recently. And we've been finding it really hard to function with just terrible things happening in the world and how we just go about and laugh and act like normal when things are happening. How do you cope with this kind of stuff?

It's really hard. It's really hard. And I agree with it what's happening in the world. right now is shit. Closer to home, I've had a lot of import and a lot of discussions with the government's proposability

benefits, which is absolutely fucking disgusting and I feel quite foolish. When Labour got elected, I thought, yay, brilliant! We'll be living in a utopia for disabled and vulnerable people. That's not been the case at all I have. done a lot of political programs where I'm very aware that I'm being booked as a disabled person and not a comedian.

Over the years I've flipped back and forth, I think sometimes I get angry, where I go. I'm a comedian. I don't want to talk about benefits. I want to talk about my teeth. Let me live. And the world deserves that. Yeah.

Yes. But then also being aware that as comedians, we have a platform and especially in the disabled community where a lot of us are overlooked and ignored. I would be doing our entire community a disservice if I didn't use my business. for good. So it's

knowing when you can make a difference and doing it. Like I said, launching my foundation and realizing that every time I go to work and know money,

I can put that money into their foundation, I can do something which is good because they will do shit and they are bad, powerful people doing bad, bad things. But there are good people out there. doing good things and I think if you can funding the good with your time or your money is so needed right now. Finally, when it comes to comedy, I've had periods in my career.

when I go, fucking hell, what am I doing with my life? I'm not saving lives, but people need us. People need that relief. Whatever things happened in their day, that they had chosen to come to a common. club or to see us on tour or to get babysitting for the night. And through what we do for one or two hours, we can help them switch off about the big problems, about their small problems and just have fun,

you shall never underestimate the importance of that. Rosie Jones, the wisest woman to ever grace this earth. Fuck. England's national treasure. Thank you, Rosie. She's whiny. She's wise. She's everything you want. One woman, yes, please.

Yum yum. I love you, both. Oh, we love you. I genuinely, genuinely love you. I believe my closing advice for you both is never settle. You deserve and you will go. somebody who thinks you are fucking amazing because you are, you both really are.

For everyone listening, we think the same about you. Yes. We love you guys and we love you so much, Lizzie. Thank you for coming on. Everybody needs to check out. I mean, there's so many things that they need to check out. You're going on tour. Should we start with that?

Yeah. I'm going on 12 from September and going every fucking way. And you're visiting households. Great. One by one. And where can people get tickets for that? Rosie Jamescomedy.com.

Lovely. I've also got a channel for sitcom out. which I'm really proud of that you can watch on something that is not 4-0-D, but what we still call it? It's 4-0-D. It's 4-0-D.

It's 4-0-D, Channel 4. Winds your neck in. And finally, if you want to do, good. Check out Brody James Foundation.com and we're currently raising money to fund

counselling sections for people with cerebral palsy to be seen by therapists with cerebral all post it. Incredible. Can we get T-shirts yet? No!

We're making T-shirts. I've been waiting for these Rosie Jones Foundation T-shirts to drop for weeks. Autumn. All right. All right, fine. I get it. I'm going to be a hat. Okay, cool.

We love a hat. We're going to be kitted out. Thank you so much, Rosie. Thank you so much, Rosie. Thank you. Is it Ham? Well, she's a bundle of joy. I'm so wise.

I can't believe. She's like an actual philosopher. Yes. She can change the shape of my mind. Yeah, horny philosopher. I think a lot of them were, to be fair. They were. Yes.

It makes sense. She's a modern Aristotle. The Freud of our time. Yeah. Wait, was he a philosopher? Not really, I don't know. Well, yeah, kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. Baithoven, was he one? The Picasso. She really is the Picasso of our time. She's the Leonardo DiCaprio. Of the 21st century. We're in the 21st century. This has gone terribly.

Who knows? Who knows? But we had a great time. We love her. And she's amazing. And you can go check her out. Her new sitcom pushes. On Channel 4.

Her tour. She's getting out there. She's getting out there. I feel like she's going to pop up as well at some point. point and just be like, look, I've been listening to you and you're on the wrong track again. I feel like we'll open the fridge and she'll be there like, no, you're doing it wrong again. Also, the Rosie Jones Foundation. Oh, yeah.

She's doing it all. She's sort of putting us to shame really in a lot of ways. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit embarrassing. Actually, I think she's a bad guy. Yes. Let's bring her down.

Sorry. She's got a sitcom. She's got a foundation. She's got a beautiful girlfriend. Can she just fuck her. off. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, go fuck yourself, Rosie. Go fuck yourself, Rosie. Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont. And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brains is one of the

most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding. That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah. This changes people's lives. If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up? An in-depth look at sumo wrestling and the scandals, because it used to be considered so honorable, like sumos and they all live together sumos. No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just message loads of Derricks? I don't think people know that. I emailed 100 Derricks.

I don't think it was Derricks. I thought it was Bryans. Sorry, Brian. Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook. Our podcast is out every Friday. It's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again. Lucy and Sam's perfect brains.

One of the hottest podcasts, people are going crazy. for this podcast. Yeah, please give it a listen. We're loaded up on buzz balls. We've got a Laboo-Boo in both hands, and we are ready to screech.