Single Ladies In Your Area - Saying No To Your Type Man Whispering And Leaning Into The Unhinged With Urooj Ashfaq

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Single Ladies are joined this week by wonderful comedian Urooj Ashfaq! She asks questions like: How do you avoid going for your usual type? Is it helpful to get in the middle of your friends’ relationships? And how can you tell if a man is flirting …or he’s just trying to rob you? Urooj is in the UK for the rest of November with her brilliant show 'How To Be A Baddie', kicking off at Soho Theatre until 15 Nov and then around the UK. For tickets and information head to sohotheatre.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, this is Harriet Kemsley, and I'm very excited to be back on tour around the UK with my new show, Flusi. As listeners of the podcast will know, I am really trying my best to be a bit of a flusie, but it's not going particularly well. The dates are on sale now. It's going to be autumn 2026. For tickets and information, head to plosive.com.com. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there.

We're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that.

This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Coming up in this week's episode, I tell Amy all about a very brave thing that I did. And we speak to our guest, Arooge Ashvac, about being a therapist for a couple, speaking to people on the street, and being newly single and unhinged. Hey, baby.

Hey, baby. I love our cozy studio. I've always went home with you. I know. You've got to be relaxed. Although speaking of relaxing. Oh, yeah. I did have a moment of relax.

I did something that was like inspired by you, and I've talked about it. I went on a social. holiday. Woo! You're on a solo holiday. I love this. Yeah, I just went away for three nights.

And I actually think that I could just go away for two nights. I could just, I flew somewhere hot, and I love the sunshine, and I was really sad about the sun leaving, and everything has just been so busy. And I just felt like I hadn't said goodbye to summer. So I was like the thought of, and then when you were in Cyprus, I was like, oh, God, I would love that so much. It just felt so exciting. I was like, obviously, I can't go for too long, but my mom was having Mabel anyways. I've had this big writing project and I wanted to really be able to focus on it.

So it was like, okay, well, I need to do this. Yeah. And then also I was like, I have this goal of going away on my own. Like you do. And like you always talk about like it's the most natural, normal thing in the world. Yeah. I think that that is unusual. Like, I don't know how you feel like, do you think that's normal?

Do you think you're normal? All right. Do you say you're normal? Okay. It's quite loaded there. Because the way you speak about it is so natural. But I actually think it's very brave and amazing. and it seems to come to you very naturally

to just go away on your own and do these things. Yeah. But I think it's unusual. Do you know what? It's probably not common. I really don't know. All I know is you've been away on your own, very relaxed. I went away on my own very relaxed.

I went away for a weekend with friends. Very, very stressful. And I know which I prefer, and I know which I'll be doing again. And I know which I won't be doing again. Yeah. So for me, I think it's very, Very brave going away with people.

It's incredibly brave going away. Like when I said I was going away, like a few people were like, oh, won't you be lonely? And then someone was like, oh, maybe I could come. And then I was like, no, I have to write and I have to do this for myself. I think also I just was feeling so like I didn't have a single moment for myself. It felt for so long. And then I just needed some time just to sit quietly.

Yeah. And it was so good. Did you love it? I loved it. It was so, I felt so guilty. I felt so guilty. And also it was so dumb. I had these points so I could like get this flight.

And they said I could get this business flight for free. I've never flown business. Oh my God. I will fly business for free. I booked the flight. They called me back and they said, this flight we have to cancel your flight because your household member is blocked. Guess why I made a household with two years ago?

Louise Sanders. Oh, no. We created a household two years ago. Combined our points for a trip. she since got blocked by Amex and I said because Lou is blocked you can't have this flight

and then I called Lou and she was so sweet and she really like tried to like stop it but she was the head of our household and so because she's the head of my household I couldn't, I was just in a household and I was like on the phone to me I was like this is so stupid like we just formed a household

and now you're treating our household so badly and I can't do anything because my head of household she's not like my husband or my father or anything like this old-fashioned kind of views where I'm not allowed to fly business cars because of the head of my household. So then I had to pay for a flight in economy. But then I randomly got upgraded on the way back.

It's basically the same because it was just a short haul trip. So basically it's in the same seat. It's basically the same. But yeah, it was really cool. And so yeah, I went away and it was brilliant. I loved it. And there were a couple of things. that kind of like, I think one thing is I was just like, I felt like I was going through a lot of emotions.

It was so weird. I was like, they're on my own and I was doing a lot of writing on this project that's like very personal. And so I was like writing stuff like kind of furiously and then going away and being like sitting with my feelings, I guess. And I think that was really good because it would have been hard to do that and then suddenly be a parent or go to work. I was just sitting with those feelings. And I was kind of looking at other people on the trip. Like there was a couple of people that were there on like a baby moon. So like these, the women were like very pregnant.

They were their partners and it just really like made me a bit nostalgic for my marriage in a way that I haven't kind of let myself be maybe. I've been very much like, no, no, no, keep it moving. And then we went on amazing trips and traveled loads and I really got to see a lot of the world with Bobby and seeing like the couples on their like baby moons at the start of their journey like with their children.

It felt a bit sad, I think. But also it was maybe a thing that I needed to feel. I think I've had to push down like so much. Some people would say I should try and push harder. You have pushed down a lot of feelings in order to just like keep it moving and like stay like staring ahead. But just to be able to have like a bit of reflection about what's not there, you know. Yeah. And I think it's important to allow yourself to feel stuff.

And I think it's really hard to feel stuff in company. So like if you were there with friends, I would feel responsible for them or. Yeah. So you'd maybe see these baby mooners and you'd want to just like. have a moment and feel how that feels. But you'd have to be like, oh, hi, so then let's do this and let's go. I'm absolutely fine. And I think it's being on your own is almost like, you know how you go to sleep

and your subconscious is meant to like sort stuff out? Yeah. I feel like being on your own, having experiences is like you have these feelings and you just feel them. You don't have to hide them or suppress them or pretend that they're not happening or you can just be like, Oh, like there was definitely moments when I've been a woman where I feel like melancholy rather than like sadness. I will feel like a wistfulness.

Yes, that's so that's exactly what it was. Yeah. That's exactly, because it wasn't sadness. It's not sadness. Yeah. I wasn't like grieving or like desperately sad, but like I was kind of embracing the melancholy. Yes. And I actually think melancholy is like, like it's a positive thing.

It's like it's something that we sort of bat away or I say we. I mean, I certainly, if any like, if there's any like, if there's any, sadness or anything. I'm always like, no, it's fine, everything's fine, everything's fine. But sometimes it's nice to just be like, huh, okay, how do I feel about this? I guess, I guess looking at them couples makes me wonder if I would be happier with someone, you know,

a significant other who I'm really in love with and, oh, look at that family, I don't have a family. And, but I let myself feel it and then, but it's not sad. It's like checking in. And loads of life is like, huh. Yeah. Ah, what's that? What's that feeling?

Okay, maybe there is a bit of a hole there or maybe that is a bit sore to think about or whatever. But it's really good to know that rather than just constantly going, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. So much of it is just getting through. Don't think, don't stop, don't listen, just keep going. And actually to notice what your body is telling you and what your brain is thinking.

Yeah. I think it's really, I'm so glad that you did this. It was so good. And like I didn't care at all about not being with anybody. Like I think in the past, like when I was younger, I just felt so self-conscious in my body. Like, yeah. And it brought back these weird feelings I noticed as well. And also I was writing a bit about this about how like when I was at university and I didn't make a single friend.

I talked about this before. But I would just go every day and just be around people that were all together. And it was horrific. It was so bad. And it felt like everywhere I was going, everyone was like laughing amongst themselves. And then I was just like this invisible thing that like existed amongst people. And it was like, I was that there, but I was there by choice. And I knew that I have this life and these things.

And I think I've been afraid of feeling that because of how bad I let it get. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. So there was a weird thing there as well. And also just being able to be around people and not be so self-conscious and so, like, gross in my body of like, I can't, don't know how to know how to move and exist. And where do I put my hands? And where do I look? And I've knocked this thing over. And I don't know how to be around all these people.

they must be looking at me. I didn't feel that at all. I was just existing. I'd bring my laptop when I was eating and that ride to and read. But then one night I was like, I am going to go out for dinner. One night outside of the town. That's so good. But it felt so scary because I was like in a country where they don't speak my language

and it was dark and I had to get a taxi there to go somewhere. I didn't know. But someone had recommended this restaurant to me that was like 15 minutes away. And it feels so pathetic as a woman that's like, I'm coming up to my 40s. It's like, this is nuts. But I've never gone away on my own and then thought, I would always just be like, oh, I'll just stay here. It's easy.

Like, I'm safe. It's all fine. I would never be like, I'm going to take myself somewhere for an adventure because it's dangerous and scary. Yeah. And I did it and it was great. It's so good. I'm so proud of you.

It's so pathetic, but it was so good. Yeah. It's not pathetic. And I know, yeah, maybe I've sort of gone like, oh, I do it. But like, it's a big thing and you've done it. And I think if you can do that, you can sort of do anything. This is it. And so I really recommend it.

Like the way you've spoken about before, I'd be like, oh, I'd love to be like that, like, Amy. And then I did it and I feel like so pleased about it. And I then got back and had like a really, really objectively very, very bad time. And like I had a great 24 hours when I felt so at peace. And then things really went very badly and had a terrible time. But I was like, oh my God. Like I shouldn't have gone away. I shouldn't have done this.

Then I was like, no. Like imagine if I, this week had happened. And I hadn't gone and had a bit of space for myself. Yeah. If you were already burnt out, you wouldn't be able to. And that's the thing. It's like, it's hard, isn't it? Because it's like a privileged thing to say like, you just need to, everyone just need to get away.

Exactly. I know. And I know not everyone has the time or the finances or, you know, whatever. But even if it's like, maybe this sounds wanky, but even if it's like finding time for like five minutes, three minutes meditation or something, I mean, I can't meditate for shit. But like the idea. of just taking some time for yourself so that you can just recharge your battery just slightly so that when the next wave of inevitable shit hits you,

you've just got a bit of energy to deal with it. Because if you're just running on empty, you're just, you're just fucked. And I was starting to get to that point where I was like, and then now I'm back at that point two weeks later. Yeah, sure. But imagine where you'd be. Where I would be if I hadn't have done that, would have been very bad.

So, yeah. So yeah, it was just, it feels unusual to me that you'd, doing this and speaking about it and like speaking about it so confidently and I think um yeah you just really inspired me so oh my god oh well I'm very pleased and I'm very proud and now you've done it once you'll just do it whenever you need to whenever you want to and then you'll inspire another woman to go off yeah well I went for three nights and I was like actually I could have just I could just go because that yeah maybe that's not going to be possible too much like you have a child you can't do that but I was like I could maybe go for two nights you know and like I still felt

relaxed after two nights yeah that could be enough and yeah just go on a little adventure go on a little bloody adventure will you yeah if you're listening at home go on an adventure it could just be even in your same city or like or the city next door go to the city next door and go for dinner or like yeah it just i don't know i just felt i just felt exciting i'm so pleased thank you and my therapist is really good she's always like like you should follow the fun like do things for fun like and you forget that i think yeah sometimes you're like I have to be serious. I have to do this. And I managed to hide it, like, trick myself that I was doing it for work.

Sure. Because, you know, that's why I could really justify it to myself. But eventually it will get to a point where I don't need to do that maybe. But also I have a child. So it's like, you know, you have to weigh it up. But again, it's like it's putting your oxygen mask on before. Like you, everyone, particularly parents have to look after themselves before they can look after someone else. Yeah.

But I think especially like moms, it feels like, you know, something like this. There's a real part of you that feels like. so much shame and so much like you feel like you're going to be judged so much for doing something like this and I feel that like so much but I also think that to do it is really important so that other mum's do it and Mabel grows up seeing it's normal and then we'll go and do these things on her own if she has kids and I could watch her kids or yeah who knows her partner could watch her kids and she can go and still have adventures like I think it's a good thing to push through things that feel

shameful and wrong and judgmental. To an extent, like a month away would be... Yes, let's not push it too far. See you, Mabel, I'm finding myself, actually. Mommy needs to me die. Mummy's going to Thailand now. You work it out for yourself. But it's like Mabel's obviously very well looked after

when you go away. And if you're going away for work, you wouldn't bat an eyelid. Because you're going away for something that's important for your mental and physical well-being. There's like a guilt there. Yeah.

And there shouldn't be. You really aren't meant to look after your mental and physical well-being as a mother. If you're a mum, you're really not meant to. It's really frowned upon. Maybe that should be the next thing. You know, everyone's talking about men's mental health. Maybe it should be mum's mental health. Yeah, I really think so.

Let's get that trend in. Mum's Mental Health. It's Mum's Mental Health Week. Welcome to Mum's Mental Health Week. Mums, have you had a single second to yourself for the last decade? A-a-ah! Treat your mum this mum's mental health week. Get her a pink laundry basket.

We've put them on sale. She'll love it. Little Diamante's you can stick on as well. For Mum's Mental Health Week, why don't you go visit your mum and take a bag of washing? Take a little bag of washing for her to do. Your mum will be so happy if you go visit her. That would be so nice. Yes.

Okay, well, I'm really glad you did that. Yeah, thank you. Talking of travel. I tell you who's been travelling around. Who's been around about? I'll tell you who's been around about. Only our bloody, brilliant guest. A Rouge Ashfack.

She lives in Mumbai. I met her in Melbourne. And now she's here in the UK. Let's get her on. Let's get her on the pod. It's a match. Oh, hello. Hi. We're very excited that you're here.

Thank you for coming. Thank you so much for having me. And I'm so glad to finally have reached the podcast studio. You did it, Arush. You did it. I reached on Indian standard time. But I was here nonetheless. Thank you for.

accommodating for my tiredness. On my way here, the Big Ben was mocking me. I was like, this is the most British thing to happen to an Indian person. For sure. And like, the Big Ben is like, if you're late. You could just see Big Ben out the winter. Yeah. And my cab.

Which is so funny, because I'm sure from where you came from, you wouldn't pass Big Ben. Yeah, that's absolutely out of the way for you. Is it not? I think you go Big Ben. I would say, yeah, you wouldn't go Big Penn. So that might be part of the reason of what happened. It was probably that circling Big Ben that did it. Oh my God.

I went past the King's House. I ran fast. Oh, I think you were on a tour bus. You got a tour bus. Was there no roof on the bus? Yes, it was red. Yeah, the Big Red Bus. I'm so sorry, they got you.

Is that not a regular gap? You know, you were on a tour bus of London. That seems to be what happened. I thought it was a gap. No, sorry. I would love that. describe things. Yeah.

I guess this is all the cabs you were over doing. British people are so talkative. Oh my God. I've always wanted to get the rickshaws

that play the music, the bicycles. You've never done that? No. Oh my God, I'm taking you on one of those. Really? I've done it so many times.

Have you really? I can't stop. It's actually my main mode of transport actually. How do you think I got here today? But I think we'd have a great time on one of those. I'd love to do that.

Yeah, I think we should do that. I do worry that you might get some kind of kind of like lice from they often have like kind of like fur on the back. Yeah, I don't know, it just feels, you know, when fur goes a bit matted. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In general, it's like gross to go somewhere everybody's been, you know?

But if you have like something furry there, you're like, why would you use floor for this? Why not something you can wipe down, you know? That's it. Yeah, what are people doing in those seats? I always think about it with train seats. You know, when you put your head back on the seat and then I'm like, no. Yeah. No.

Oh, gosh. And I used to, I don't want to brag. I used to work on the trains. I'd do first class. Don't worry about it. But this is in the old days when we'd have little teacups. And these teacups must have been used by thousands and thousands of people over the years. And they don't really get washed properly.

No. What? Are you serious? That's sick. That is disgusting. That's just, I for a long time, worried that people were spitting. and things after. Do you remember when that Eminem song came out

about spitting in your onion rings and I was like, what? And it was really hard for me to like enjoy any fast food after that. There was an Eminem song about spitting in your onion rings? Yeah. Eminem? Yeah.

I love Eminem. When you said Eminem, I was like, yeah. Amy, I really thought when she began the sentence, I was like, oh, this is like an Eminem and the chocolate. And I was like, no, it's the rap for Eminem. It's the rap for Eminem.

Oh, yes. I know one song by Eminem. Spacebound. I'm a spacebound rocket chip in your heart's the moon. And I'm aiming right at you. It's the least Eminem's life. Yeah. So it's like, I don't know if you know.

You do know who Eminem is. That was beautiful, though. Can I just say? That was lovely. And we've never had a guess. Just breaking the song all the way through. And we'd miss that actually. Yeah.

I'm glad that's finally happened. It was a romantic song. Hey, I know you're a single lady's. I just thought I'd woo you with my presents. Are you a single lady? Yes, yes, I am recently single. Recently single. Oh, congratulations.

Well done. I was single for two years and I was not single for a few months and now I'm single again. Okay, so you got in, you got out. I got in and I got out. Okay. Was it your decision? Yes. It had to be.

Okay. There was. It was forced upon you. Yes. I'm really scarred by it. It's too recent. But I just, I mean, that was the only decision to make. Okay. It sounds so traumatic.

It sounds like I had a divorce. No, but I think that is it. You just know when it's right or wrong. And it wasn't right. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it was just what it was. And so, I mean, it's done now. Here I am.

All banged up for this podcast. Yeah. All traumatized. Really dig into it. Is that what you want? No, no, I don't think it's too soon to get into it. But I'm down to talk shit. Like, you see, what do you want to see?

You know, I'm so raw right now. This is the most vulnerable I've ever been. Brilliant, Harriet. We've nailed this. This is what we like. We get them in there. We go, they're raw and emotional. This is what we want.

So you were single for two years? Yes. Were you on the apps and stuff? I went on one date when I was on the apps. And it was horrifying. Okay. So I left the apps. Yes.

And then I was just by myself. Yes. And then I met this person and now I'm by myself again. Okay. I don't know why I keep breaking into song. I love this. Yeah. I think it's a strange vibe.

I don't know who I am in this podcast. So when was your first relationship? My first relationship was when I was 16 years old. Legal. Legal. That's right. Legal. Is it legal in India also at 16?

No, it's 18. Oh, illegal. Yeah, that's pretty cool for you. Wow. That's right. I was holding hands with a boy when it was illegal. How old was the boy? He was also 16.

Perfect. So we were both illegal. Two illegals. Two illegals holding hands. Two criminals in love. Get an ice cream. Oh. Walking around.

Yeah. Yeah, it was sweet. But it was what it was. I was 16. So that was my first relationship. I think my first real relationship was when I was 23 years old and that was like four years. Yeah. And then, yeah.

And then off of the back of that, I've had like my two years of being single and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do when you're single? How do you live? I think I live my best life. Yes. Yes. That's what we think too.

I think so. And then you just get dragged into something and then you're like, wait, I'm trapped. How did this happen? Yeah. Yes. Yes, I just, do you feel like any sort of thing that you would feel conscious about or anything that would weigh on you is just suddenly lifted when you're single again? Yeah. Like, I don't know how to explain it, but I feel less stressed, less conscious, less, I don't know, like looked at, observed.

Yeah. I feel more like myself, you know? Yeah. You know what I really hate about being in a relationship is when they ask me what I'm doing every day. because I'm not doing much every day. Yeah, it's hard. Sometimes you have to be like, oh, I've got to do something

because I've got to have a story to say. I can't just be like, oh, I'm just staring at a wall again. I'm just hanging out, looking at reels. Like, leave me alone. I'm scrolling on Instagram in bed. You know this about me. Stop asking me what I'm doing.

What did you achieve today? Nothing. And I'm fine. Yeah. But you're asking me that is throwing me off, man. I don't want to achieve something every day. Are you both really productive? No.

No. No. But things have to happen and then they happen. It's not just like things are happening because I'm planning ahead. Yeah. Things are happening because it has to happen in this moment. Yeah. And recently, they also haven't been happening. If they're meant to be happening, they haven't been happening. Which I also need to say a big thank you to everyone at Plosive, this production company where we are who have really been covering my tracks lately. Do you feel that you're productive? I feel like I am the same. Where if like, I have stuff that I have to show up for.

That is lined up. Yeah. And I show up for it. You're accountable to other people. See, this is what I, if I have to do it for other people, but it's very hard to do it for myself. Yes. This is so true. If I have to, I have to show up to your podcast.

Yes, I showed up 40 minutes late. Yes, I will admit to that on camera. But I showed up. Bus tour. You got God. You got God. You got a bus tour. But if I had to show up for myself, I'd have moved it around.

I would have cancelled it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's just me. Yeah. I'll just tell myself that I don't need to do it and then I wouldn't do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what I hate most about being in a relationship where I end up with these men who are really productive and I'm not doing what I'm saying. Like it's a bad thing. No, God, sorry, no, I can't imagine that. Can you imagine? No, no, no, no.

They're like, achieve stuff and they're, like, doing things without being asked. So much stuff. And they're always like, they're like high overachieving boys. And, I mean, I have a type of God. Is that who you go for? What's your time? I think my diaper is definitely like someone who gets really good at their job. Yes, that's really attractive.

And someone who's like passionate about something. Yeah. Like just wants to put effort in even if it's like not necessarily like their dream job. They're just like trying hard. Yes. Yeah, that's hot. There's one thing though. I mean, my friends always make fun of me for it.

They're like, oh, you know, you always go for these boys or like, you know, they're doing really well. And I'm like, I know how you're saying this. Okay. I know what you're trying to imply her. You're like, oh, you only like boys. First of all, I have my own things going on and I take care of myself. But secondly, I have noticed that when I do go for boys,

whether it's a date or just for a little bit who don't have so much of their own thing going on, they can be really mean and insecure about him. Yes. Yes, because they're challenged by what you're achieving. I can see in their eyes that they're not always happy for me if I'm doing something. Oh, yes.

A lot of them to that. That's bloody hell. So then I have this type as an offshoot of that problem. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Like, that's the solve for it. I'm sorry.

What is wrong for going with somebody that's high achieving? I don't know. I guess sometimes... They're implying you're like a gold digger? I'm not. I have my own goal. I'm not saying you are. I'm not saying you are.

But it's like a productivity digger. Yeah. I'm trying to work out. You're a productivity digger. Yeah. You want to be around the stuff, the productivity. I just want boys or not. And I don't think I'm really that high achieving.

But I don't want boys to be intimidated by anything that's good that's going on for me. And so the boys I go for have so much of their own things going on that they're like, good on you, good on you. She just passed on you. Good job. Good job. Good job. Go play. But if I'm like with boys who don't have their own thing going on, they're like, oh yeah, well, good for you. That sounds nice.

Oh, you got that, did you? How did you get that? I should have done that. Yeah, I would have done that. But no, I didn't have time. It's horrible, isn't it? And it is, I think the balance in a relationship, You think you want a relationship that's 50-50 and you both respect each other. That doesn't work. You have to be beneath them looking up at them. Otherwise, everyone's unhappy.

Yeah. That's so sad. It's so sad. I wish it was like, I know couples where I feel like the woman is more overachieving. Yeah. And they seem really happy and fine. I mean, they have their own set of problems. But I don't know.

Maybe those boys don't really seem as jealous as. Maybe the ones I have. I think, yeah, I think it's, I think men are in a, they're in a time, you know, they're like going through some things and they're working it out. That's so diplomatic. Men are just at the minute, they're just having a bit of a moment. They're just having a bit of a moment. By the past 1000 and, yeah.

They're just having a bit of a group. They began and they create a society. They've been having a bit of a moment. They're just working it out. We've got to give men time. It's got to let them in time. Yeah. They've had, look, they've only had whoever money years to build society alone because they didn't want any help. But I think that some of them, it's the rules have changed and they're a bit confused by that.

And so, but there are lots who have adapted quick. And they're like, oh, I love this and this is fine. They're not like stuck in that old mindset where their masculinity is threatened. Yes. But I think that's so good that you've worked that out and that you're not just accepting these loose. You're like, no, I know what I need in order to, that I can be encouraged and that I can achieve what I want. So this is the kind of person that I want. I think that's great. I think that's great. Be not too much this weekend.

I'm sure you must have discussed this, but I don't know. What is your doubts? Things have changed. Okay. But it's through sheer force that I cannot accept my natural type. It's your natural type. What is your natural type? I guess it's like it's injured itself as a broken wing and I'm trying to care for it. But it keeps hitting itself in the face. That is your natural type. Yeah.

So but we can't we can't date that anymore. Do you like to save a person? Yes, this is it. I think. Yeah. I understand. Yeah. Sometimes you see someone and you're like with a little bit of DLC.

I can make you the man. you would want to be. This is it, but it's such an arrogant thing, isn't it, of me, just to be like, oh, what they need is me, because they don't. Actually, often they're doing better when I'm not there. It's what it turns out. You can fight against what you think of your type is. My natural type is like a cult leader. You know, like a narcissist, like someone who's like really projects like, I'm absolutely brilliant.

And I'll be like, oh my God, you are. Wow. Yeah, yeah, it's like you're in a one-person. person cult. You're following them around. Yeah. And I'm an absolute, yeah,

I'm an absolute cult follower. I love to worship at their feet at their stinking, unhygienic, hairy toes. I'm like, oh my God, you're so brilliant.

You're lovely. I've never met a lovely person. You're so smart and brilliant and great. And I like everything you do. Please may I kiss your knees? Oh, thank you so much. I don't even deserve to kiss your knees.

I mustn't kiss your knees. And they're, always turn out to be just kind of like bang average. Yeah, anyone else is looking at that cult, like, they don't even think it's a cult. They're just like, there's some guy with some girl on a niece. They're not even stabbed what's happening here. And your friends are like, why does Amy like him so much? What's going on?

Every time I honestly... It's baffling. Absolutely baffling. I'm always like, guys, you'll never believe who I kissed. He is the most beautiful, must sit. He was talented man in the world and then I'll introduce him and they'll be like,

huh? You mean this guy? The homeless man from the street and I'm like, yeah. Do you think I'm good enough? I don't know. He just kicked a dog outside. Is this definitely who you want?

If he'll go with me, I would be honest. I would be honored to be a cult follower for this man. That's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. But that's my natural time.

But I'm not going for that anymore. No, that's true. Yeah. What I want is someone with... Have you heard of empathy? In men? I don't know. It's a new thing that I think some of them are trying out.

No, Amy, I don't know if they're trying it out any. No. No, really, you think? I think it's... I'd love... I mean, I've not met one. Have you seen anyone with that type of... With that type of disposition in a man?

Amy hasn't. No, I have. Yeah. Not yet, but I've been reading books about them. They sound like these magical creatures. Yeah, I've seen some films with them in and stuff and I'm like, God, can you imagine? I can't. No. I honestly can't. It's so strange to me because my guy friends have so much empathy. Yeah. And then I speak to their girlfriends and I'm like, who are you dating? Because this guy is like different as a friend. Yes. And why does he suck so much as your boyfriend? But then like, I can bridge that gap sometimes with like the friends. where I'm like, okay, cool, I'll call my friend up and be like, I spoke to your girlfriend, you're an idiot. And so here's what you're supposed to do. But of course, they have to be receptive to it. So some of them are receptive to it, but not everyone. And sometimes it's a lot for the same woman to do the same labor.

So if it so works out that I am friends with the person she's dating, then I can just convey it and be like, you idiot. This is great. But it's not the case every time. But I just have that POV from one relationship, like two of my friends are dating. I don't like to be in the middle of things and they don't want to pull me into the middle of things but sometimes when things are really bad and they've been dating for a while now

they'll both call me up to tell me their own thing and I'm like oh okay I see it and so I get in the middle of it I love it yeah the way you said I don't like to do it I don't like to do it at all and then you went and then I get in the middle of it okay I'll do it

I'll do it and they're like no no please don't I'll do it okay I guess they both really love each other but here's what's going wrong let me tell you Where you're going wrong.

Okay, you're thick. And you, madam, are perfect. That's basically it. You could do this as like a side hustle. I think you could get money as like the relationship fixer. You know, oh, like a whisper. You could be like a male whisperer, you know, like there's like a horse whisper and a dog whisper.

And it's people that really just understand the dogs. And they're like, look, this dog's biting, but it's not because it's an aggressive dog. It's just one of its legs is itchy. and I've heard it say that. And you could go and you could go, what's that man? And you could go,

oh, he's feeling insecure because you've got a better job than him. Yeah. That's so good. The male whisperer. The male whisperer. I would love that. I would love to be like in between

like thought person in a relationship where I'm like fixing. I feel like my parents' marriage really prepared me for it. Okay. So I would be, if I could just be professionally doing this also, like I would be really good at,

Like, I'm good at conflict resolution. Are you? Yeah. That's good. Yeah. What kind of things are you noticing that, like, the men are doing that is causing the problems in their relationship? Well, my friends in particular are really thoughtless. Like, they just think, oh, I didn't think she'd feel so bad.

And you're like, that's because you don't feel shit, man. It's because you're stupid. And you assumed, she's as stupid. and thoughtless as you, but she's not. You're just a freak who doesn't take a shower till 6pm and plays video games. And she is an angel who has a job

and she smells nice all day. And she manages her work and her family and herself. And you're just a thing. So you've got to be grateful that she has blessed you with her presence and have three more thoughts than you would than usual. That's a really good way of thinking about it.

That's really helpful actually. Yeah. Just have some more thoughts. Just have six more parts, study. I'm not asking for much. I love this. Just they're not getting more thoughts, maybe. They're just not having enough thoughts. I'm having so many thoughts.

I have thoughts constantly. Not all helpful, mostly unhelpful. It's wrong and... Yeah, a lot of madness happening in those thoughts. A lot of madness, but they're going constantly. You're constantly thinking. I think that's right. They are just going around.

Just do do-do. Just blank space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just don't think that much. Did you know that? Wow. It's wild. It's interesting.

It's crazy because sometimes me and my friends will sit down and it and be like, and then maybe he thought this. I have to still learn it. I keep telling my friends, I'm like, no, you guys, he didn't think. He didn't, they didn't. It's not personal, but then it is personal because they're not thinking. The not thinking is still an action. I definitely in relationships, I get into a mess because I'll try and predict what their thought process was

and I'll get pissed off because of that. And I'd be like, well, you must have thought that doing this, this and this, meant that, you know, and they haven't thought that. But I've got annoyed with them because I've put my thought process on that. And I sometimes, yeah, and then when you realize that they're genuinely, sometimes I found in relationships, they're genuinely completely shocked that you're upset. Do you know what I mean? And you're like, well, you forgot my birthday or whatever.

And you're like, well, of course I'm upset. And they're like, yeah, but you didn't put it in the calendar. I didn't know. I didn't know. And they genuinely can't believe that you'd be upset about something. Do you know what you mean? I know. Yeah, I've had that where someone forgot my birthday.

And it's just, or it's like, I think they knew, but they just got so overwhelmed by it that they just froze. I think you're giving that person too much credit. I think that's a crazy excuse. I was so overwhelmed by your birthday that I just pretended it wasn't happening. Boys are such liars. Sorry, I'm not in a good place. Like I said early on, I'm not in a good place.

And I feel like, I don't know how they can say, I love you so much that I made a mistake. You know, like, oh, I was so overwhelmed by your birthday. And then it's like, okay, then why didn't you sort of like organize and plan it? If I'm overwhelmed by somebody's birthday, I'm like, okay, I've known them for like a week, but it's their birthday.

So what can I do? Then I'll make a list. Okay, I can get the cake. Maybe I can do some decor. I can do that as a new girlfriend. That's fine. So I'm just going to back off. I'm going to take care of these two things.

This is enough. And their friends can handle the rest. Yeah. But it's like, boys are always just like, I felt so much for you that I did. I just didn't do nothing at all. You're like, oh, okay. I love you so much.

Okay. That I had to play PlayStation for nine hours. I did just, just to get back into my own head and body. Because I was just loving you. you so much. It was like unproductive how much I love you. Yeah. Yeah. Like it was physically painful how much I love you. So that's why I ignored you for a bit and just liked other girls' Instagram posts. And that's because I love you too much. Yes. That's why. That's basically it. And you're upset for me liking her Instagram post, but I liked it because I love you too much.

So you're crazy. You're actually crazy. This is so true. Yeah. This is basically. I've had two parties, like birthday parties, planned for me by boyfriends. And, no, I've had three. I've had three. Yeah. That's sweet. It's really, really sweet. And it's been like a really good thing. But because their brains, I mean, we are generalising here.

I understand that. But in my opinion and in my personal experience, their brains just work differently. And the way they've planned stuff just, Just a woman wouldn't have done that. Do you what I mean? So I used to have a bit in my show actually about one of them where he planned my birthday day. And this guy was so sweet. Like he was so nice.

But I got up in the morning and he was like the whole day sorted. And I was like, this is so exciting. And he was like, put on your shittiest clothes. And I was like, whoa. What? And he's like, you've got to wear like clothes that you don't mind. I was like, okay. And I'm not like a sporty or an outdoorsy person at all.

Like at all. I like to be indoors sat comfortably. I get that. Yeah. And what he'd done was he took me horse riding. No. I've never mentioned horse riding in my entire life. I'd never been horse riding in my entire life.

And actually I'm very, very, very allergic to horses. So we turn up and I'm just on this fucking massive horse having an asthma attack. I've been like, fuck. hell and he's having a great time galloping off and I'm like happy birthday and I was like this is like he's who is this street for? Who is this for?

I don't know who he thinks I am and then afterwards he took me for a massage which I was like okay this and I do love a massage so I was like this is great but he booked me for an Indian head massage and the woman and I'd just been horse riding and I had no change of clothes so I had all this stinky horse clothes on and they had to go into this like beautifully clean clinical massage place where the woman was like repulsed by me and didn't want to touch me

and then she said I'm going to use oil is that okay on your hair and I was like I don't know and she was like well I wouldn't use it if you were going out but you clearly do you dress like a fucking scarecrow so she just put loads of oil in my hair and she's just like rubbing my hair and it's really nice but she's like rubbing my hair for ages. So then I come out of that

and I've got the thickest, oiliest hair, like flat to my fur. And then massive at the back. And I'm in these stained t-shirt and trousers. And then he's planned me a surprise party. No. In that. In that.

With these clothes. In that order. In that order. And it was at a cocktail bar. And my friends, he'd invited like about six, eight of my closest female friends. they were all dressed up in cocktail dresses, heels. They looked incredible, and I turned up in, like, muddy boots.

And because of the horses, I had all these, like, hives and rashes. I get that from horses. Oh, my God. And he's like, here you go. And I stank. I had oily hair. My eyes were so red and itchy. I just was taken my inhaler the whole time,

and my friends thought I'd been in, like, a car accident when I around. Like, that is a punishment. That's not a birthday gift. That is a torture day. That is a day where you're just... It's a torture day. It's like you're dragged through a bush. And then you're like, happy birthday.

I don't know what you don't love it. But in this occasion, he had tried so hard. Like, there was no malice. And he'd really, really tried. But it's like they're just missing a few thoughts there. Like, how is she going to feel in this situation? Yes. But he has tried.

I feel like, and again, let's remember that I am a woman unleashed at the moment. I'm going through a lot. Personally, if you'd caught me on some other day, I would have different things to say. But isn't this the bare minimum to plan something? Like, that's the bare minimum. Now to have the thoughts about would Amy need a change of clothes?

Would Amy prefer that she had the massage, then she had some time to go home and get dressed and then go to the cocktail bar? Yeah. Like, just to accommodate the thoughts about the other person's comfort is so much, like, it's just, it's important. Like, you should do that.

My question is, what is up with them? You know? Yeah. My question is, if I can do everything you're doing and have 900 thoughts about your comfort as well,

then why can't you? And then my thing is, is that if I was by myself this whole time and you pursued me and you came after me, then why did you do that? You know? This is fully based on Amy's story

and that's nothing to do with me. Yeah. My thing is... Quite food in your seat. There's a lot of passion behind this, but this is for Amy. Let me tell you guys. Let me tell you guys. Let me tell Amy and he had it something based off of what they've said. I was in my house doing my work.

Why did you pursue me? Yeah. Yes. That's exactly it. Why do you leave me alone? Why do you destabilize my nice life? I made my life so nice. Why have you come in and set fire to it?

Yes. Yes. Yes. I was hanging out. being a literal angel like I always am and you thought oh let me just let me just go and mess her up why why why why why why why why that is but why why why why I just want to know why why why if anyone could tell us why you can I'm so helpful because they see something and they're like oh that looks nice yes and then they like destroy it and they're like oh now it's destroyed these boys are like

oh, I love how you are. I love how nice and kind you are. And I love how you make me feel. And I'm like, well, what about what you do to me? Yes. Because you're just like, you're always looking at me as like what I can add to your life. And how like I would make you feel and how I would be. And then I'm like, what about what you are?

Where's the introspection? Where's the work with that, you know? And so I swore off men. I did. But one of them will find you. they always worm their way in when you least expect it. That's right. Never let your guard down, ladies.

Never be relaxed. I realize what it's like. It's like women are flowers and they're growing and they're thriving and they're beautiful and they're enjoying the sun and men go, I love that flower. I want that flower and they pick it up and kill it and take it home and look at it for a bit while it's wilting. And then they go, that's a rubbish flower. Wow. That was a beautiful.

And I was doing. Thank you so much. Thank you. So are your parents still together? Where do you think, Ariel? Um, no. No. No. No. God no. How do you find dating when you're traveling so much and you're going to so many different festivals and you're based in so many different countries? Yeah. So this is something I want to start, especially now. I think. I'm not sure. but I usually just go home and then I date someone over there or I just, I don't really date when I'm travelling. I don't have any apps and stuff

but I think I should start doing that. I haven't. Considering everything you've said, I think you should stay away from that. I don't want to encourage you to do that. I'm always really concerned that I'll meet a man in a foreign city and he robbed me.

Yes. Like the other day I was standing on the street and this man came up and he's like, can I bum a cigarette? And he was kind of cute. I gave him the cigarette. Then he started talking to me. And he was like, oh, you know, I'm from around here.

What do you do and everything? And I was like, does he want to rob me? Like, why is he talking to me? Yes. You know? And so, then... That could be the only logical explanation I can think of here. Yeah.

Yeah. And so he was like, can I have a number? And I was like, no. I think you'll rob me. And he's like, no. I said, why do you want my number? And he said... God, you're flirting is very...

Why? Why? Why? Why? I was like, I'm just on the street. Why do you want my number? I honestly said this, okay? I think he was like, she's not from you. She, I think. So he was like, I think is open in India. I like people cool with dating and stuff. And I was like, yes. But I'm still on the street. And it was such a like, it was such a cultural, like, gap. Because back home in India, if somebody approached me on the street and was like, ask me for a cigarette, I would fully give it to them. There's no issues with that. But I would have the exact same reaction. to that man back home that I was having to this man in the UK. And I just, that's how I'm wired. But I was like, why are you speaking with me? You wanted a cigarette. I gave you a cigarette.

Now go. Like, why are you asking me follow up questions? And are you going to rob me? But later, I was like, he's not going to rob me. But what if he would? Like, am I, am I being racist by thinking this white man won't rob me? But the brown man back home will, you know? Wow.

I thought a lot happened in your brain there. What's a long journey you went on. A lot of thoughts. A lot of thoughts. You guys, I have grown up in a country where we're supposed to be very wary of strangers, okay? And so now I come to the UK and I understand things are different here. But I can't suddenly change my nervous system. Of course.

Yeah. So I think that's really healthy though that you should be wary of strange men. Okay. I think that is good maybe. I think so. It's a tricky one because it's a tricky one because it's, If you did think he was cute. Yeah, that's it.

You did say he was cute. He was cute. And robbers are all types of people. That is true. That is true. That is true. What if he's one of those... See, I'm usually expecting someone to like snatch my bag and like run.

What if he's one of those charming robbers? I don't think they do that anymore. I think they just grab now. I think all the back and forth... There's no niceties with robbery these days. They don't put the time into it. They don't put the... effort into wooing you.

The small talk's gone. Yeah. I sound like, I really sound like, I'm fresh off the board, but I really am. So, okay, you tell me, if a man just talks to me on the street or at a bar or like anywhere. Or at a speed dating event. Yeah. You should be aware. Or on my wedding day, do you take him, I don't know, is he going to rob me?

I don't trust him. Do you trust him? Yeah. I don't trust him. Yeah. I am very, I'm very. very wary of people speaking to me on the street. Yeah, I'm just like, why would you be talking to me? And that sounds like a vibe I like to give off. It's just like a cool, a cool, chill kind of vibe where I just, I would panic. Yeah, because I don't

know what the rules are here. Yeah. Yeah, I'm too far the opposite. Oh, yeah. There was once a guy in Soho, who I thought was an actor, I thought he was doing a character. And I, on the street. On the street. Street character. He was like, dressed as this, like, fancy old man. And he was like, hello! And I was like, Hello! And then he was like, we added a bit of a chat.

And I thought we were doing a bit. I thought it's clearly come out of a place in character and I was like, this is hilarious. And he's like, oh, would you like to come for a drink with me? And I was like, oh, absolutely. And he said, I own this bar. And I went, oh, fantastic. And we went in.

And he... You went in. Yes. He was doing a character. I thought he was a great, funny improv comedian. Anyway, it buys me a drink with pennies out of a little bag And I was a bit like, oh, that's a bit weird And then we sat and we have this drink

And then it's lonely dawns and we're like, oh, he's just like an eccentric It's just a crazy man on the street. Yeah, but what did you think? I don't, I'm still commuted to what you, you thought it was like an experience? Or like, I thought it was an actor having a laugh. I thought he's really committed to this bit, which I, love. She loves commitment to a bit. And I love like nonsense and playfulness.

And I thought, this is a guy doing a character for a laugh. Yes. That's very interesting because I guess you could find somebody that is like always committed to a bit but then they are insane. But yes, that's what insanity is. They've committed too hard to a bit. Yes. But I gave him my number and then we had a couple of calls and stuff and I was like, and he got really scary.

Really? How old is? Like, oh, 50. Oh, my God. And I was like, 25. That's because she was 25. I was 25. I was 25.

I was not giving my number to a lunatic on the street. Do you know what it is? It's because I didn't live in London and I was visiting. You're like, this is what London is. So I was like, that's what the actors are. Bright eyes of London. Everyone, he's a celebrity. Like I was very confident.

Because it was in Soho, I presumed everyone was a celebrity. That's for all the normal people. are for sure. But this is like two types of of people, right? Like so when you're that open, you run the risk of giving a number to a crazy person. And when you're this closed off, you run the risk of really asking normal people

if they would rob you. Yes. Yes. It's both like I don't... Or we just need to stop talking to men. Yeah. That is tell me one thing. What is common here? Yeah. It's the men. It's the men. Yes. I'm sorry. It's a hard time for me.

What do you do for yourself when you're going through a hard time? I let myself be a little bit unhinged. Yeah. We've noticed. I've known the best way. We're unhinged. I'm like, you know what? This is my villain era.

Every time I tell myself, it's my villain era. But I think that's healthier than you work through it. It's not once you suppress it, then it comes out in like the worst ways where you're just like, ah, I didn't even know that was there. I tried to push it down. So I think this is the healthy way. Do you suppress it? Because what I'm doing now is I'm being as unhinged as I feel that,

is acceptable on a podcast. Yes. And I'm leaning into whatever I'm feeling. So I do that. Do you suppress it or do you have a specific coping mechanism for when you're going through a hard time? Mine was drinking and then I stopped that. And then all the unhinged kind of came out.

And then now I feel like I'm less unhinged. But we're just in between unhinged periods. Yeah. No, that's good. I think I try and change things up. I think I like move house or go away or I'll, change something very drastic. You like to reset.

A reset. It's like making a chapter. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah. So I have to be like, I'm going away or I'm, I've moved house, I've burnt everything. I'm starting again. Lovely.

Yeah. Thank you. I like that. I like it because it makes me feel like what you're doing is you're just, you're making it a chapter. I understand what you're doing. It's like a end and it's a new beginning and that thing is in the past. Yeah.

And it's growing from it as well. It's like the unhinged periods where. everything feels like it's going wrong and you feel like there's like a feeling of fury and confusion, it often leads to the best stuff. Yeah. I do sometimes find myself going backwards to safety, but I've noticed that now. I had an awful, terrible, terrible date. And then I realized that I had contacted a guy who's not right for me, but he's very nice and very safe.

And I was like, oh, I can see what's happening here in my subconscious. I've gone like, oh, I'm frightened. I didn't like that. And then I've gone back. I want to be like, I want to be with like my save person. Even though my, I know that person's not my person. But there is a tendency to like want to do things that feel comfortable when you're feeling distressed. But it's not always the right thing to do.

Sometimes you do just have to sit in that nastiness. It's quite brave to keep being unhinged, I think. Thank you, friends. And not try and just like comfort the unhinged. Yeah. It's very brave. I'm glad you're not. guys have taken this away from my performance today.

So brave. She was so brave. She was crazy, but that was so brave of her. So brave, I feel like to be that crazy on the pod. I really respect that. She looked like she was going through something, but she let us see it. You don't even seem unhinged. Really?

Honestly, yeah. Oh, yeah. Thanks. Yeah. You're doing great. I'm very impressed, actually. Thank you. I'm very impressed.

Thank you. You smell great. You look great. Yeah. That's great. That's right. I hope he's watching this. I'm fine.

And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge. Are you guys dating? What are your relationships? Statuses. We're dating. We're dating. We're doing it.

Oh my God. Oh, my God. Please tell me about it so I can be really cynical. For you. I feel like all we do is talk about it. But for me, I had like a period of like a year when I was like processing a divorce and I just couldn't let, like, anybody near me. I was just like, and then we had a year of, like, literally being, like, teenage girls, I would say.

And just being really, like, intimidated. And I didn't know how to kiss anybody or, like, I was, like, kissing too much or not enough. It was like, I didn't know how to function. And now I think I've reached a place of normalcy where I'm going on dates. And it's, like, an actual, like, kind of thing where I feel, like, calmer about it. I've really been unhinged for a while. And now I'm feeling a little bit hinged. That's lovely.

That's beautiful. You're rehinged. I'm rehinged. That's great. Yeah. That's really nice. Yeah. My journey was the same.

I did a year as well, been too scared. Oh, kind of not wanting to be with anyone because it's too stressful. Because you have to regrow yourself from the seed. I can't let anyone put you. Our bodies are protecting ourselves, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. being like, you don't know how to kiss, was like actually a protective thing. It was actually a very smart, protective defense mechanism. Yeah, and then once I'd kissed after a year, I was like, oh, that was great.

And then I think I'm still in this period of just slagging it about, I suppose, is the technical term. Ah, yes. Yes. That is the signific word for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you know what? I think I'm having a really nice time doing that. Yeah.

That's beautiful. And that's what's really interesting is like, obviously I never thought I'd get divorced. And like it was really like a big shock. And I was like, oh, this is terrible. You know, all this stuff.

But like, I've had so much fun since. And like, had great sex and like had a really good time and gone on all these dates with like, it's been really good. And so like good things come out of the bad things, you know? Yeah.

I'm so happy for you. Yes. You're going to have such a good time. This is what's coming. And we couldn't. have believed it. We would never have believed it. In a wild dream, we wouldn't have believed it.

No. It's going to thrive. Yeah, I am. You're going to thrive. It's going to be so good. It's going to be so good. I think my main concern, and I want to ask you both, is I'm not really fond of men. Okay. I had that as well. It's really difficult to like them sometimes because of the things they do, their behavior

and their personalities. It makes it hard sometimes. Just who they are, how they're biologically wild. You know how they're raised, how they are. as everything you said. But so now my thing is, I like to think I'm a good person. So while I don't like men as a whole,

individually I'm very nice and treat them like a human being. Okay? So that's like the social aspect of it. But if I don't like them, then it's really hard to like them, like them. I know. And then be like, I'll kiss you.

But it comes, I think. It's because you've been burnt by one and then you write them all off and actually there are a few nice ones in there but you've got to really, really search for them. It's like, I guess, like truffles or something. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, it's quite rare.

I think I totally get it. I think men, the concept of men isn't great for women. You know, like so often they just do such bad things. Yeah. To friends and to ourselves and to the world. But there are some fantastic. fantastic men out there. And do you know what?

I think there's, actually, we've met loads of great men, but they're not necessarily like the perfect partner for you. Yes, my dad's a good guy. There you go, but he's not the right partner for you. No, no. If you don't mind me saying, I don't know the guy. No, no, I can't date my dad. We've been over this.

Okay, you mustn't date your dad, okay? Yeah, yeah. I mustn't. Please. Please don't. I was doing like a hypothetical. thing with my friends and you know I was like they were asking me like if there was a disease that like only killed men would I be okay with it and I was like yeah like I'd have to sacrifice my dad

who was lovely but I think I would speak with him before and I would be like you are you okay with this I think you might have to like take one for the team and it's such a nasty thing to say because everyone in the comment section would be like oh you know what if a man said this about a woman and yeah it's like they've done much worse get over it so What do you mean? I'm just seeing things. They've actually done a lot worse. I'm just seeing things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Interesting. I don't know why I brought that up. Well, no, I think it's interesting that your dad's a nice guy. You know, we're single ladies. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah? You want to meet my dad. I need books of light immediately. My dad would love to do your taxes. Whoa, that would actually be so useful.

Honestly, if you. went on a date with my dad, the first thing he would ask to look at is your accounts and your balance sheet. That's hot. That's so hot. He wouldn't find my account's hot. Hey, I'm sending you a pick in a minute. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can really like it. He would be like, this is off. You should have been investing for the past seven years. You are seven years behind on your investment portfolio. And he'd be like, I'm so sorry. I want to see your portfolio. And I'd be like, What's that? Okay, cool.

Okay, well, thank you for that. We look forward to meeting your dad. Yes. And we look forward to seeing you thrive in the future. Maybe in the next episode, I'll be normal and we can really have a bother to chat. That's not what we want here. No, no, this is exactly what we want.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone can go see you at Soho Theatre. This week? Yes. This week? This week. This week. performing at Soho Theatre from, well, today to the 15th of November, and then I'm on my UK

tour for the rest of the month. So you can check me on on Instagram and get the link in my bio and buy tickets on Soho Theatre's website. And if you come to my show, I'll be a little unhinged over there as well, so you should come. Yay. I want to see that. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming and bringing your perfect energy. We loved it. Amy, we've got to get out there. Wow, I loved meeting, Gingaridge. I hadn't met her before. You met her in Melbourne? Yeah, and she's so nice and so funny. Yeah, I like an unhinged energy. I feel safe around an unhinged energy. Yes, yes. You're like, okay, this is authentic. Yeah.

Anyone hinged, you're lying. Yes, what you were so hinged about. Stop pretending you're hinged. Yeah, yeah. Breathe out and just be unhinged for a bit, will you? It's nice when a woman can embrace her unhingedness as well. It feels like it. It feels like. like you're going to hide it, you know. Yeah. I will also say, I don't think Arooge was unhinged. Like, she's so much more calm and collected than I am when I'm unhinged. This is really true. Like her unhinged was like

fun and nice. Coherent, wise. But she still has like very sensible taste in men, it seems, in that they are like, they get up, they do things. They get up! You know, they're men that just get up. Wow. Gosh, we need to really raise our standards. But Arooge is on for the rest of the week at Soho Theatre and then on tour.

So go see ya. Go see you're going to have a great time. Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont. And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact. Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding. That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah.

This changes people's lives. If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up? An in-depth look at summo wrestling and the scandals. because it used to be considered so honorable, like sumos, and they all live together, Sumos. No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just message loads of Derricks? I don't think people know that.

I emailed 100 Derricks. I don't think it was Derricks. I thought it was Brian. Sorry, Brian. Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook. Our podcast is out every Friday. It's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again.

Lucy and Sam's Perfect Brains, one of the hottest podcasts. People are going crazy for this podcast. Yeah, please give it a listen. We're loaded up on buzz balls. We've got a Laboo-Boo in both hands, and we are ready to screech.