Single Ladies In Your Area - Serial monogamy, flirting and being more boss with Catherine Bohart

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

This week we welcome comedian and friend Catherine Bohart to the podcast! She helps answer questions like: how do you learn to flirt as a fem lesbian? What motivates serial monogamy? And is King Henry VIII's divorce history actually quite aspirational?Watch the full video episode over on our Patreon at patreon.com/SingleLadiesInYourArea.Catherine is going on tour with her brand new show 'Borrowing Trouble' this autumn, kicking off at Soho Theatre in. London and then around the UK. For tickets and information head to sohotheatre.com. And check out her brand new podcast 'Tonsil Hockey' wherever you listen.And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show 'Floozy' from October 2026. For tickets and dates head over harrietkemsley.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill And I'm Harriet Kemsley We're both single and in our 30s And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene And the landscape has changed Everyone has settled down But we're back out there And we're desperately trying to figure out

What the hell we should be doing So we're going to speak to experts Chat about dates we've been on If we managed to get any And share your tips and horror stories So we all feel less alone We might even get our exes on Yeah, we'll see about that

This is Single Ladies in your area. Oh, hello. Welcome back to single ladies in your area. Today, it is just single lady. God, single lady in your area sounds so, that sounds like such a bleaker podcast and single ladies in your area.

It's just single lady in your area again because Amy is very busy. She doesn't want anyone to find out. But they have found a cute. for climate change and Amy is at the helm. So it's good news all around. She's asked me not to mention it, but I cannot keep things to myself. So just a big congratulations to Amy

on her noble Peace Prize. And we can't wait until she comes back into the studio when she has some time to tell us about her hot sex in the laboratories. So unfortunately, Amy isn't here. We miss her, we love her, but we have a wonderful guest. I'm so excited. We've wanted to have her on the pod for ages. She's a very funny comedian and I've known her for years. And so I'm so happy to be able to chat to her in a professional space. Please welcome to the podcast, the wonderful Catherine Bowhart.

It's a match. Hi, Catherine. Hi, I'm so happy you're here. I feel like this has been such a long time coming. Really? I'm so happy to be here and I've been dying to do it. But I also feel like the least appropriate guest for this. podcast. Yes. I would say I'm the most monogamous woman who's ever lived. I was trying to think the other day, how many days of my adult life have I spent single? And I want to say, 40? 40. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, isn't that a criminal? I would just feel like, I have no ability to be alone. How are you lining them up like this? This is amazing. Well, don't ask too many. I don't get straight. I didn't do it. I need some tips. We both three minutes ago you were saying if you say anything, you don't want to have said on this podcast.

We can cut it out. This is the soon as we've ever had to cut. So what somebody has said, one minute into the podcast. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, it's crazy. That is amazing. So what do you think you're escaping?

No, no, no, no. A long time, I completely agree. It's fully like, oh, I have an itchy nose, which I think means I'm going to get into a row. Oh, is that what that means? Isn't it? Is it stress?

And then if it's itchy ears, it's like you get, someone's talking about you? Oh, yes. Anyway, sorry. I'm fine. I'm focused. Lots happening.

But how do I do it? I guess I, was that the question? That was the first question, yeah. And then what are you escaping? Thank you so much. We've got a backlog of questions that are really possible. Because I was busy doing, I was itching my nose. As you were stressing, I was lining up the questions.

Pop them on the pile, I just have to do it. Yeah. Okay, one copy mechanism down. The answer is, I guess I, if I sleep with you, I am like, well, why does well give this a year or four? Yes, but the thing is that men don't, I guess that. that's the difference maybe is that men aren't so into that. Would you say?

Like, I think... Yes, and some of them were men. Yes. But yeah, you're right. Lesbians are much more likely to be like, well, we've had this coffee, so I guess we should move in together. But I mean, sleeping with somebody is not like,

oh, we're suddenly in this. You know what, like, that's what I mean? Yes, okay. I would... But interestingly, it's not that I sleep with them and I'm like, and then I'm like, this means so much. It's just that I'm like, well, we're already here. Yes.

You know? But the fact they agree with you. I think that's what's so nice. I'm very good at that. So lovely. What a great room to start about yourself. I love that. Thank you.

Thank you. Because I think that's the thing like I might think that way. It doesn't mean they agree. You know what I mean? I could be like, this is the start of something. And then they're like, okay, I am leaving. Here's what I'd say is, I don't think that I, it doesn't start in the bedroom.

I think my energy is bossy. Yes, I don't have a bossy energy at all. I have no authority in any way. Whereas I think I come in hat, like I am employer first flirting second. And so I think that if you have gotten as far as the bedroom with me, you're like, well, she's going to be in charge. She's dictating what is happening here and I'm just along for the ride. Do you think you're picking people that are easily susceptible? Yeah.

Not consciously, but I think if you're enjoying my rotation, then you don't need to be the boss all the time. Yes. So you're kind of like thick-skinned and willing. You take the boss role coming in. I've never taken the boss role in my life. I love this. And that's okay. Yeah, but I want to be more boss maybe.

Well, it depends on what kind of boss do you want to be. I'm quite a bad boss, I'd say. I kind of like mean for no reason. It's like really, it's like when I read about men talking about nagging, I'm like, well, that should be illegal. You should go to prison. But then I examined myself for two seconds in a flirtatious scenario and it is just that. It's me being like.

So you come in. mean and kind of authoritarian and that's your approach at the start of a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. And that's mainly like a test to see if we're going to be compatible

in bed. And then... That's your approach in bed as well. Okay. And then we're... Yeah. And then... And then we do that.

If both of those are fine, then you think, yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, can you give me an example of this? Because it's hard to imagine because I always think you're so lovely

and charming, but it's hard to imagine this. Okay. Well, the best... I guess, like, My current girlfriend, we were flirting in a bar, as I understood it. And that was largely me. It's often me explaining the famine to English women, but let's not get into that. That's your move.

It's just like they say one thing about Irish history. And I'm like, how about you fucking shut up and I started the start? But anyway, that's a separate thing. That's a side quest. The point is that in the context, yeah, we were, I thought, flirting in a bar light at night in Edinburgh, and then who went outside. and my mom surely, even if she was listening, has stopped at some point before this.

Please, mams, this is the point. Please. I went outside for a cigarette. And then her friend was like... It's always the cigarette. I'm exactly the same. I was talking about sex all the time. But I'm a talk, obviously.

But mom, don't listen to the next bit. I had a little cigarette. Yuck. No, but she must never know. And so... And if my insurance provides... asks. No, I wasn't. That's so difficult, isn't it? The insurance, I was uninsurable. I tried to get insurance and they said, it's not available for you. So they asked the weirdest

questions. My guy was like, sorry, so just to check in, like, would your doctor know that you have OCD? And I was like, would she know? She told me. What are you talking about? I was like, of course. It was a diagnosis from a doctor. Yeah. I'm not like, like, vibing that. What are you... Where else did it come from the post office? Yeah, this is madness. Yeah, anyway, infuriating. So, but to circle back, we were outside and...

There'll be a lot of circling back. And her friend was like, what's going on with you too? She's American, so very direct. I love that. It's kind of helpful. It is quite helpful. Oh, wait, okay. I'm often that friend.

I'll often be like, is this happening? And Ellen was like, I don't know. I think we're fighting. And I was like... We're fighting. Yeah. And I was like, we're not fighting. We're flirting.

Ellen just hasn't noticed yet. And then she was like, oh. But it's that kind of thing. I don't know why I didn't expect this. I love this so much. Thank you. I wish some, this is so nice just to take charge and just be like, this is what's happening just so you know.

I don't think I would have, you know what? I think that if I continue to date men, maybe if I continue to date men, I still would have done it because this is how I flirted with men. But I think that there is something about having grown up in the naughties as a femme lesbian. In order for people to know you were flirting with them, you basically had to be like, We're going home for sex now.

And I'm gay. And I agree to that. And let's go. That's hot. You know, like, I'm so good. But there's a lot of, like, shouting at people like you're an English person in a French restaurant. It was like, gay. If I say it louder, you'll get it.

Like, it was a lot. So you had to sort of take charge and it just stuck. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. But you don't, that's not your approach to men. No. To men, you're not so mean.

It's only women you mean to. No, no, no, no. This is going to be the clip. Because it's only me. No. Excuse me, I'd like my lawyer present. No. I think with men, I have more questions before I would even get into flirting

because I'm always like, so with men, I can tell they're flirting with me, I think, question mark. Sometimes I'm not sure. Whereas with women, I kind of do instinctively know. And also with men, I'm like, if you're flirting with me, does that necessarily mean you're single?

And I never have that question with women. I'm like, okay, yeah. And anyway, what's your relationship to do with your mother like? And any girlfriend, for example, do you live with a woman who thinks you're in an exclusive relationship? Like, you have to do a lot more of that before you can get to like, okay. And so I often get bored. Do you know what I mean? I often think, oh, this is, it's a lot. It's a lot to go through. It's a lot. It's like, it's like, yeah, again, like you're trying to employ somebody. It's like a sort of a bonner killer, though. Yeah. Yeah. Because I, I don't want to be in the recruitment phase. I'm happy to do the hiring, but I don't want to be like...

Yeah. I don't want to be sifting through CVs, which is what I feel like... You need to delegate that. Maybe you need like an assistant or something that could delegate through this for you. That would be nice. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess if I'm ever single again for a day or two, I'll look into it. But maybe that's a thing of like a... No, it could never work. It wouldn't be possible. But I was just thinking of like a dating app where like the men had been like vetted in advance. But you just never, you just can never do all the jets.

You cannot be believing men when they fill in forms, Harriet. You can't be... But I'm saying other women are... check it. Like, they're like, no, like, I've done the research. It's all good. Like, everything they're saying is true. But like, you just put him back. Yeah. No. There's no man that could be vetted. Isn't that tragic? Well, they can, but it's like they're married to the one woman they've ever had sex. Like, so like, yeah. Yeah. They're not available. No, they're not available. They're not available.

And in truth, we don't want to be like the second guy. So we've got this. Anyway. Is this flirting? When was your first relationship? When did you stop spending time with yourself. Did you start predominantly only spending time with other people? Okay, thank you for asking. Here's the thing. This probably does have some connection to the fact that I've been constantly in relationships is that I wasn't kissed until I was 19. Okay. And I think that I had this real sense of like, no one will ever find me attractive. I'm hideous. And the longer it went on, the more true that became in my head. The longer it goes on, the harder it gets. And the more grateful I became for to, to,

anyone who showed me any sort of interest. Like you kind of only really had to look in my direction and I would have had sex with you for like 19 to 27. And so I think I have now, very easy to say when in a relationship, we just put a house together. But now I think I could be alone. I think it would be horrible.

She just spent four days away and I basically went insane. But I think I could be, because I think I have managed to distinguish my sense of not being a attractive. away from like my sense of self-worth. I think being with somebody was the only thing that it confirmed that I was like worthy for ages. No, I don't think that's true.

Why do you think it took that long to have a kiss? Because the way you phrased it was interesting was until I was kissed. It wasn't that it was a thing that you couldn't have kissed them. I guess I thought I was gay for most of my teenage years and then only got to university and was like, oh, and also dudes, but I went to an all-girl school. And I'd only been kind of exposed to sort of low.

teenage boys and yeah. But when I was like, when they were like a little bit more grown, I was like, oh, okay. I think I just, there was no way I was taking that risk in school with a girl. Like, my life would have been over. So it kind of had to be that they kissed me

or else it just like didn't happen. So it didn't happen. I was like 100% sure nobody else was gay in my school, by the way. About five years into stand-up, a girl from my school came to a gig And she brought her older sister who'd also been at our school. And her older sister was divorcing a woman.

And I was livid. I was like, what? And she was like, I know it's really bad. And I was like, no, sorry. There was another gay at the school. I was so mad. I was like, obviously this was like a tragedy for her. But I was like, sorry.

Huh? I was one special gay. Anyway. Yeah. And I just didn't know any men. I was like the only person to go to our debbs, which I guess is your prom without a date, which I think was still a cool thing to have done.

Yeah, that's pretty. That was a pretty cool movie. But, yes, I think that's, it just didn't feel like a thing I could. But you think, so it was like, basically like, homophobia was the problem, but you, like, internalized it. Maybe it was a thing about you, but when it was just, like, society was the issue. Yes, and I think it was like a safety thing. Like, there was no, like, maybe there would have been queers around to it, but it was like,

and also, like, I had a very strict mother. I didn't drink till I was 18. I didn't go to parties. I didn't really have that many friends. Like, I was very, like, that's not all because she was strict. I just mean, like, we were, she wasn't so much strict as, like, worry. about everything you're scared

of us getting hurt. It is scary. You have a kid and you're like like oh my God everything is scary I get it now. Yes I would say

it was too much. No no I would say that it's totally understandable and also like didn't help get me laid so thanks mom

I hope you are listening Yeah so she was getting laid don't see why I couldn't yeah sure Hi dad they're not

they're gone they don't know what a podcast is. Thank God, by the way. I've had to ban my parents. They're just banned because wherever my dad sits, the light catches him. No. And he has this, like, fixed grin

because he, like, wants me to know that it's fine, but, like, he's so stressed, and it's all, like, and I pick up on his stress, and there's, like, this, like, stressed grin just, like, shines from wherever he is, it's just too stressful. No. Yeah. I came out of what I, I've often gigged really badly in front of my parents.

I often die in front of them. I get so worried about what they're going to think that I, that I, preempt. Thinking it through their filter. It's imagining how they're going to respond to it. It's like, it doesn't feel natural. Yes, and then I, they came to a show in Dublin that was finally like a big enough room that I couldn't see them

and I had for the first, like, proper good gig in front of them. And I came out afterwards and they were basically stood in the foyer with like 400 Irish people with my dad being like, isn't she awful to her audience? She's so rude. If she's going away with it? And my mom being like, none of that's true, you know, none of that's true. And I was like, for fuck, sorry.

It's so, it's so tricky. It's such a weird, such a weird, such a weird little job. Weird little job. But at the same time, so far today, I've been for a run and done this, so kind of a nice job too. Yeah, we're very lucky.

We bring shame on the family. We're very lucky, but it's worth it. Also, my family are Irish. They were going to have shame somehow. Yeah, exactly. And it's nice to have shame that's real. You know what? They have real cause to be ashamed.

It's not just like a, and imagine being everything forced on them. Like, they really should be ashamed. Wow, that's great. Such a good point, Harry. I'm going to say that next time. Yeah. Shudden to talk about it.

Yeah. Sorry for mentioning your sex life. But also, do you know what's nice? Tangible shame. Okay. Totally. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome.

Thank you. You got to get in there and sniff them. Generally, I've just like had these like long spaces between relations. It's why I just have to kind of like, if it's been, in like a substantial relationship, I'm always like, I'm going to come out of this and I'm going to sweep up and I come out of it. I'm like, God damn it. I just, I feel like the universe is just giving me time where I have to just like be with myself and blah, blah, blah. And it just feels like, I'd be just so much easier if I could just like meet somebody and then just pop.

Just like a couple of things. The universe is not in charge of you. Okay. That's my first. That's the first difference. I think I'm like, the universe doesn't decide I decide. I've never thought I, yeah, I think that's it. I've never been like, I, I've never been like, I've decided, I've also, I don't think I've ever thought someone's flirting with me. I don't think I've ever thought that. I don't think it's ever been a concept in my head of like, oh, this person is flirting with me. Do you go out a lot? Yes, I'm always, I'm always around.

But I feel like people must be flirting with you. Do you think? Yeah, you're gorgeous. People are flirting with you. I think I've, I don't, but like, I imagine there are so many people listening to this being like, I couldn't have made it any more obvious. But what is, I think I don't even know what it is really. Like, it's just like, don't look at me.

I brought you here to explain flirting to me. That's what happened. By the way, what you're describing is actually very healthy. I think most people ordinarily do advocate for taking some time to yourself to assess what happened in a relationship, healing, perhaps. There's too much. I'm bored now. It is boring. How long has it been to your last relationship?

So, since the old divorce, it's been nearly three years since we, like, separated. And then I had a thing. I know, it's flowing by. I said it recently. And I said it on a show. And I was like, oh, you know, like, I've recently had a divorce. And someone was like, it's not that recent. I was like, oh, my God.

But you know, and it's sometimes actually quite helpful? First of all, that's a lot of course it needs to be cut from your life. I wouldn't say that to my worst enemy. Send them to prison. Yikes. You could be for divorce as recently as you like, actually. Thank you. But then I was like, it's kind of true.

You know what I mean? You're just like, oh, yeah, I'm just still banging on about this divorce. And you're like, no, that's not who I am anymore. It's like, yeah, it's not recent. It's like a thing that happened. a divorcee for as long as I would be saying divorcee and smoking indoors all the fucking time. You can be divorced your mom would be so ashamed. She'd be dead.

I'd be dead. You'd be dead. You finally got married. A hundred years old you are. No, it wouldn't happen. And the smoking. And the smoking. Oh yeah, you're right. Jesus. Yeah, too much. It's good to have healed in between. I think it's good to be bored. I think that what I have done is gone, oh, I could deal with that or I could press on. And then what I'd like to do is sort of heal from the last relationship in the one I'm in, which is fun because then you can blame the current partner for the crimes of the last. So you'd have to be like, was that my fault?

You'd be like, wow, okay, yes, you're all like this. No common theme other than that. And it's fun. It's great. And what I'll also say is if you have to run into the other person, it's very useful to immediately be like, well, there's a new one. But I will say that I think probably your way is healthier. though I thought, after my last big relationship ended,

I thought no more comics. Then I dated a non-comic and I was like, it actually has to be a comic. I think it has to be someone maybe in that world. I think it's true. You can't say to a normal person, like, oh, like, yeah, I'd love to go on holiday. Ooh, not this year.

Oh, and maybe not the first half of next year. A wedding, no, no, no, no, you'd have to book me in four years out, I'd say. And, oh, no, like, maybe I could go to one in four years, but I could also cancel on the day slash the night before, depending on the offer. No, I can't come to dinner with your friends because I'm not actually free in the evenings.

And could you meet on Tuesday at noon? I could meet you at Tuesday on noon. This is exactly, and some of these things is like, our lifestyles are so different. And like, I do want somebody that I can just be like, turn up after a gig and be like, hey, you know? And that's not.

People are like, I have work in the morning. What are you talking about? And also understand why, like, chuckle box in, like, eight miles outside Manchester is actually a really good opportunity and that is why you have to miss that thing with their mom because if you don't get that

it's like you need them not just to think like okay that's understandable you need them to be like shut the box I'm so excited for you babe that's it someone excited to be but I think that can exist

that must exist in someone that doesn't have the mental illness that leads them into stand and comedy I don't think it does it doesn't no okay well

you haven't done much research because you're just going from one to another so you haven't done the groundwork so I'm not taking your work for it no offense and to be fair Yeah, so easy for me to say

because there are lots of female comics I would date but like two male comics I would date. But this is it, who am I going to, you know what I mean? Who am I going to date? Like this is, I mean, these, I'm like... I can name the two, but I won't. I need an adult man, you know, like, I can't... Ooh, that...

I can't raise another child. But the other one's so cute. Yeah. But it takes us back to one. Yes, I can't raise another child. It's not going to happen, you know. Yeah, that's tough. It's tricky.

Be not too much this weekend. Ugh. What is flirt? Like, how are you flirting? This is what I want to know. I told you, I just sort of go up and I'm quite rude to the person. You go up and you're rude.

So you just march up. It's like a marching energy or like it's like a, you approach calmly. I say that my girlfriend was with a different woman than I thought I. But I don't know if that was like, I don't know, there wasn't like a date. It was just they were like already hanging out. And I, so I just offered to buy them both a drink.

Oh, that's, that's a really good move. I think men. Maybe you wouldn't like that so much. If I'm Marjop, I'm like having a girlfriend a drink. And I'd say, do you want to hear about the famine? I don't know anything. No, you have to pick something important.

I'm just reading Wikipedia to look. It could be the sufferer jazz. Okay, yeah. It could be 9-11. Okay. I think you're poison. I buy them both a drink and then I start talking about 9-11. Yeah, that's my move.

Okay. But had you already... I, by the way, into that. I'm like, babe, we should take her home. That's crazy. She's fascinating. What's her origin story? Did you, did you and Ellen, like, did you, did you like, like, you'd see an Ellen?

So you were, like, approaching as, like, a kind of... I sort of keep my eye on the... You could have folded your hands and your lap and then just peruse her. I keep my eye out. I keep my eye on the, like, which queers are... Like, you know, you keep your eyes sort of, like, I guess I'm really into, like, Androgynous Butch Women. So I've always been aware of the safe four

moving around the comedy industry. You know, you can just keep an eye where they're at, what their status is. And I was aware of her. I went to her show, her Edinburgh show, and the premise of the show at the time that they were doing was like, which of us do you fancy? And I was like, ooh, the gay one, please.

And afterwards I text and message Charlie, who I knew a bit and was like, great show, can I take you guys for a drink? I'd love to have a third woman there. And she didn't reply for hours And eventually she didn't She was like, sorry, we were playing Monopoly Deal in the Meadows. And I was like, you could just say you don't want to hang out.

You don't have to lie. But it turns out that's the thing they do. They love Monopoly Deal. What is Monopoly deal? Indeed, a card game of Monopoly. Which I know should have put me off. But it was desperate times. I'd been single for two days.

And no, it was 11. But I am... So I was like, I'm intrigued by this. And then a week later. So a week off the end of Edinburgh, I was leaving a bar and then saw her walk in with the other girl and was like, maybe I'll just stay for a little bit longer. Okay. But the reason I asked you if you ever go out is because in my two weeks of singledom, I said I was complaining to shelf another double act of androgy people, Rachel and Ruby, that no one was flirting with me. And they were like, have you been outside after nine?

And I was like, fuck you. I think this is part of it, though. It's difficult for me to like just stay out and like hang. I think things happen like later in the. evening, but it's very hard as you get older than you have kids and you have responsibilities just to be like, I'll just hang out and see if anyone's flirting. And then I'm like oblivious to it anyway, so I might as well go home. I don't have kids or really any responsibilities, but I just love to be in bed at 10. And so I was leaving at 1.30. I tried. And then she came in.

Imagine coming to into a bar at 1.30. I was like, wow. How did it work? And then, yeah, so that's, I guess flirting is like sort of waiting around. Yes. And then being sort of mean to whoever you fancy and hoping for the best question mark. Yes. Okay. Mean? Yeah. Wait.

Pretending to like staying out. Obviously, that's a big part of it. Yes. I think that's what I need to improve this year. I really had to do that for the first three months. So I was like, woo, let's go. Yeah, I'd love to get you another fight. Yeah.

I'll see you there after the gig. Woo. I can't wait. No. Then the rule you gradually comes out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The lines start so much. Okay. So this is, this is very, I don't think we've had like a serial monogamist on the podcast. That makes sense. It's honestly track. It's going to be so crazy to be tuned in every week and it was just a woman being like, so you just bought a house with my girlfriend.

It's going amazing. No, thanks. Me and maybe just crying. Okay, that's great. Cool, thanks. I will say the other thing that obviously your title speaks to, I also don't do single ladies in that like I've never like, it evokes porn to me.

Is it meant to? Well, this is a big question. that I, apparently it was meant to and everyone knew that apart from me and we just, I just discovered about the single ladies in your area pop up a few months ago when Amy Annette came on and was like, oh, because you know like a single ladies

in your area is like the ball and pop up. Wait a second, you said you hadn't had serial monogamous. You had Amy Annette on the year? Yeah, that is a good point. Yeah, that is. That is true. But she said she was single for a lot like Nish is her kind of only long-term relationship.

But they've been together for like 13 years is something insane. That is really true actually. That's like being like, I mean, come on. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I don't know I'm kicking off.

It turns out we've had too many and it's time to leave. I don't think she's up for this, okay? I'm really pleased to be here. I know it's not showing, but I'm thrilled. Sorry. What is it because I don't think I do need to be with anybody to like, I think that I just find it interesting that you really want to be with somebody. Like it's like, but is it, it's like it is to be with the right person or it's just to be with somebody at certain points.

Like you just, what do you mean by not wanting to be alone? I just really didn't like to be alone. I mean, first of all, being single in this economy, are you great? Yes. It's true. It's smarter. It just makes more sense. Yeah.

I like having a partner. I really, I do like having a partner. I like cooking for two. I like, you know, I just find it's so much less waste. I feel that. I think that the environment. I am in a partnership for the environment. I think if like a person like,

to get on my doorstep, I would also just have that be my family unit. Like, I just like to, I'm a real caretaker. I like to provide and I like to take care and like acts of service. I definitely my love language in terms of what I like to offer people. So I think, yeah, I just like to have someone to look after a bit. That's so nice. That's so lame. No, that's so nice because I think so many people just want to be looked after. So I think it's so rare that you hear someone say, I want to be the one looking after someone. Yeah, I like it a lot. I will say that I think that I was happy for it to be anyone for a long time. Yeah, that's the risk with it.

And that was slightly taken advantage of sometimes. I feel like I've sort of landed on my feet and got very lucky with a person who was like, hey, man, I'm going to maybe take care of you a bit as well. And only that she's insistent about it is why it happens, I think. It's quite nice. That's really nice. I think I didn't realize how much I, like, I have always had a thing where I am kind of taking care of adult men and that is just something that I've done.

But I didn't realize how much I loved it and, like, loved taking care of someone until I had my daughter. That was a thing where I was like, oh, this is like, this is, this is, I love this so much. And I think it, it helped me be like, oh, I'm not someone that needs, like, rescuing or anything. Like, I want to be, like, self-sufficient. I want to be, like, look after somebody.

I don't want somebody else to have to do that for me. And I always thought I was kind of somebody that was like, I need to be rescued. I need to be this. And actually, like, I don't need that anymore. So that's a thing. Yeah, that's amazing. But also, it's like a fine balance, isn't it? Well, I mean, I don't know, I feel like women are always being told it's a fine balance.

It's like you want to be self-sufficient, but you also don't want to bake it so that a man doesn't feel relevant. I'm a bit like, oh my gosh, give me a break. I know. That is it. Just be normal. Just be normal. Yeah.

I think you'll find somebody who adds then. This is it. I mean, can you imagine someone that brings something useful? I really can imagine. You can imagine it. Yeah. Okay. I feel like, actually, maybe this is my, um, very easy for me to say from my lesbian,

loose life. but I am trying to. Do you remember Aria Stark used to have that list of enemies? She would say over and over again. Yes. I'm trying to have that but with men I like slash trust. I'll say more. That's really funny.

Because I think I was doing a lot of this talk of like, and to be clear, institutionally and internationally, we have a gender issue that we need to address and feminism remains relevant. However, I think that like interpersonation. I'd gotten to a place where I was like, men. And it was making me actually less happy. Like, it was making me more distrustful and more anxious and less confident that things would be okay.

And actually, like, I've been trying to focus on good men. And actually, I know loads who add stuff. It's really fair. And I think that we... But I don't have to live with one. Well, yeah. So easy for me to say. It's very easy to say from your lovely, lovely house far away from them out the window.

They are walking by outside. Lock those windows, Ellen. They seem fine. They're lovely. Bye boys. Bye boys. No, it is that. And actually, occasionally,

men come to our Polly Pocket House because it's so dinky. And I'm like, well, they don't even really fit. Like, like, banging their heads off things. And I'm like, good. Keep it uncomfortable. I had that because I, like, I, like, designed, like, my home for, like,

me and Mabel. Like, it's, like, so girly into this. Then I got a shower put in. And then this guy was dating, banging his head on the thing. Because I just didn't even think of it. It's not for you. I got to dole.

Then me didn't even occur to me. We bought a bachelor pad, as in we bought a man's house before, and everything has just had to be like, can we lower that? Can we lower that? It's just me and my tippy toes going like, that's unbearable. But yeah, I think there are,

no, I'm sure there are men worthy of that. There are, and that is, and I think having like, not just being, I think not being so hard on men is, in many areas they need to improve, and in other areas, they have their own challenges. But also I feel like if you, I actually think that the end result of being that kind of hard on men in like an interpersonal romantic relationships is actually that you end up in a bad place anyway because you go, okay, they're not capable of anything. They have to be taken care of they couldn't possibly do it. Oh, God, silly men. So you lower your standards such that you're like, this is all that we can reasonably expect of them when actually it's like, no, they're capable of goodness to each other. They're capable of goodness to us. And so it's okay to wait for a good one because they do it. Whereas if you're just like,

Well, the bar is solo. This is just an acceptable behavior. I do the same with couples that I'm like, oh, I think that this, like, repeating the name, I do the same with like couples that I think have a lovely relationship because I think sometimes I look at couples and I'm like, oh, I don't want that. And I don't want that. Like, why would I settle for anything that isn't great? And so if I see a couple that I think are really great together and, like, bring out

the best in each other, I'm like, oh, that's the dynamic I'd like. It's a short list. The list is so short. I can repeat it in, like, second. I feel very spoiled because one of mine is my parents. That's lovely. Like, they're still weirdly obsessed with each other. I love that.

And they're definitely better than some of their parts. Like, they both rock and together they're like, they really help each other have a great life. Yeah, that's really lovely. But I think, yeah, consequently, maybe that has raised my standards a bit. Say I, having dated literally anyone who asked. Also, we must remember that we are living,

going to have to live a lot longer than our predecessors. Yes. We can't be rushing into things. Well, I am doing that, but we must be able to divorce a few. I think that's right. Divorce a few, I think. I think, I think three. I think you still have two left before it gets weird.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think? I do. But then I just like thinking of Henry the 8th and like, just like, I mean, that is obvious. Don't kill them. Oh, Jesus, you can't kill them. I know what I mean?

Like, I never wanted that. So you were thinking about a good goal. Wait, was he the inspiration? Yes, you say three, but I'm thinking seven. I just was like, how many can we do? You know what I mean? That's legal. Yeah, very.

like very regal actually. Like, I don't know. It's nice to think about. Would you also get gout? I would, I don't want the gout. Yeah. I don't want the gout. But...

What about a rough? I would take a ruff. I think you'd rock a ruff. Yeah, I'd like a rough. Amy, we've got to get out there. Is marriage something that you're into or interested in or... Do you know something? I was so into marriage.

Like, obsessed with the idea. Obsessed with the idea of being proposed to... Yeah. Now I'm a... I think at some point I went past an age. where I thought, like, I'd look incredible in a dress. It's really all about the dress at the end of the day. I really would like, oh, well, like, now I'm almost 40.

It kind of feels like, man, I passed it. You would look fantastic in a dress. No, no, no, sure, I'd look great for a woman who's 40, but that's different to, I'd look like a fucking smoke show. And I'm just like, oh, it turns out that's literally all I wanted. Like, I wanted. That's so freeing in a way. The other thing, to be honest about it is like, I'm really into engagement rings.

I love jewelry. I was so sad to have to stop. I wore mine for so much longer. And I even might find a way that I can still wear it because I love it. And I actually just told him which one to get. So I feel like he's not even really involved in it.

Yeah, it's all he's doing with him. Yeah, if I pay him back the money that he spent on it, then I can wear it, surely. I completely agree. Yeah. Yeah, I completely agree. But my thing is, yeah, I love jewelry and that's the same as loving marriage.

I don't like weddings. I like to attend sometimes. I always cry at them. I often have a very good time at them. But I'd have no desire to be the sort of lucked upon one in a wedding context. And I think that's really interesting because it is like our jobs are so, we get so many people looking at us doing our jobs, which is so unusual.

And then you're like, oh, I didn't really think about it until I actually was there. And I was like, oh, I don't actually want people looking at me in this context. That happens enough. I don't, I'm often at weddings thinking, well, yeah, you don't, you're not like always on show. You deserve a special day that is about everyone looking at you. We get loads of people doing that. We get loads of people applauding us. I don't, yeah, it doesn't make me feel relaxed.

And also, I always find it a bit weird to be like, let's talk about how we'd like to define our relationship in the most intimate possible ways with it. Our ants here, I guess, question mark, some guy, everyone. But also, I don't know, it feels kind of queer and punk to not, sorry to say that, but sometimes I'm a bit like, basically, I feel like at the point at which you're portmantewing two men's names. get a grip and go to a sex party.

Do you know what I mean? I'm just like, oh, no, it doesn't feel queer anymore. Maybe you just take the surname, like, Jermaine or something. Not to like Susan or like I don't know you take her. Yeah, I would not take, do you mean not, as in Greer? Yeah, I don't know. I was just trying to think of like women from there, but she's not been so good lately. No.

Yeah, I was like, not Jermaine. I was trying to think of women and I thought of Jermaine Greer. Wow, you're strange. She was good for a minute, though, wasn't she. And then I was like, oh, but not recently you were doing. Yeah. Wow, that would be wild. Wow.

Emmeline. These are the two you've got? Emily and Susan, question mark boils. For instance, Susan Boyle. Because the thing is with Amy, I always think, like, could be queer with you. Wow, that's like a definitive no.

Nail in the coffin. You're going to have to find a man. Trying to think of women. Trying to think of women. No, because who I was thinking of, I was trying to think of a fuck sake. I was trying to think of Gloria Steinem. That's who I was thinking of.

I said Jermaine Greer. Also, a lesbian would go straight to Gloria Steinem. She's so hot. She's so hot. Yeah, she's so beautiful. Don't mind if we do. Anyway, just ignore that. Yeah.

No, it was lovely. Take a woman's name as a... Anyway, don't worry about it. Yeah, I'm coming with ideas, but if you want to veto them, that's up to you, Catherine. I don't know, maybe I, maybe we'll get, maybe I'll ask my girlfriend who she wants to get married and take Jermaine Greer's name in honor of question mark lesbianism. I'm confused. She wrote a book about feminism a while ago and then I forgot the recent. No, no, I know she.

Sometimes you can't remember someone to whole history and one. You're just like, oh, I was a while ago. decades ago. Yeah, no, that's what. Maybe we could do like a ceremonial wedding period of blood tasting, which is what she recommends. Is it?

Yeah. You haven't read the book? Well, you're more... You're the one that needs to really research it is if you're going to take on our names. It's like, this is something you can think about. Remembering stuff is really hard.

I'm so sorry, that's crazy that I came here without knowing more better when I'm taking her name. You're so right. Sorry. Yeah, remembering things is hard. It's really hard to remember. I feel like you just remember things naturally.

Like you're a remember and I'm just not a remember. I'm actually not. What I do is take the very finite amount of information I can keep and then sort of lord it over people because, flirting. But no, I absolutely, I'm actually terrible. Have you ever done by virtue of our jobs like TV quizzes? It's Harry is. It's really bad.

I forget my own name. It's so bad. Facts I knew. I forget things I literally know and I sweat so much. I sweat so much. And Richard Aspen's always there. And it's just, I like that guy. I wanted to like me.

I just think, my brother supports Fulham. We could have things to talk about. But instead, I'm sweating so much. I'm being like, Catherine, smell just heppy. Tea, what? Ah, hell. I think the great thing with me is that no one expects anything. That's what's really lucky is like, it's very much like,

I do something so basic. And people are like, Harry, like, well done. Like, people are like, pleased for me. But if it really is, welled on you. Because I've backed myself into this corner where I'm quite a. know at all. This is the problem. You're coming in with an energy of like, I should, I've got this. Whereas I'm coming in where they're like, oh, she's found the door.

Like, that's so good. This is your receipt, Harriet. Whereas, yeah, you're right. I do get a lot of people being like, oh, you'll be granted that. And I'm like, I won't. Yeah. I won't though. I won't, though. I promise you, I won't. So you factors something to a corner. This is, this is your, this is your, this is on me, yeah. I mean, I can't, I don't even care to go into the examples of questions I've got wrong on televised quizzes, but it's not. But it's things that you'd know because I feel like you're a perfectionist. What gave you that idea? But he is really on the ball.

Somebody does really is good at picking up incredibly high standards for no apparent reason. Yeah. No, House of Games is what I think about when I close my eyes, but that's fine. I'm glad Steve Bactual won. Is that his name? I don't think about it.

See, when me, people win me prizes. Colin Fondu... Colin Fondue. Sorry, Hal. Are you now trying to remember men's names? Gave me a fondue kit because he felt bad for me. So this is the thing you need to do.

If you go in with this kind of energy, then you just get stuff from other people. That's really nice. That's the goal. Men love to rescue, don't they? He's just like, I've got too many things. I can't even carry them. You have the fondue kit.

I'm like, oh, this is great. That's pretty nice. Have you used it? I actually haven't. I made such a big deal about how I was going to make fondue. And I was like, this would be life changing. I'll be a fondue person. I'm going to be a fondue.

I'm vegan. When am I going to make fondue? I'm vegan? Yeah. How am I going to make fondue? Since, like, Like a year in a few months, like November, the year before last. How are you finding it?

It's really hard. I just went to the Alps and I wasn't vegan. But in my head, it's because the animals are all really happy and they're running around with cowbells. And don't tell me anything different. They're on the hills and they're happy. Okay. That's so nice. I actually went to Lijey, which is where you went.

Oh my God, you went on the ski trip of all ski trips. The most incredible. It was incredible. Just for the listener, Maisie Adam books this ski trip that also has a gig at the end of it in the Alps. You ski for six days and then you do one gig the night before you leave, ideal, and then you bounce no matter how it's gone. You've already got your ski trip, it's fine. I'd never ski before.

She sends me this. She was saying you were amazing. Well, no, no, no, but forgetting that, that's very nice. But I'd never ski before. I get this email in and it's like they're paying you. It's a holiday away. You get all the gear and blah, blah, but I was like, I don't ski. So I was basically like halfway through writing back like, thank you so much, but I don't

ski. And Ellen, who loves to ski. I must have, I don't know, sent something, but she was. suddenly, like, at my desk being like, fucking, don't you dare? Don't you go skiing? Mama wants to go skiing. And I was like, okay. So we went skiing.

And I didn't know how I'd feel about it because I don't like anyone I know who skis. And I don't like to be outside that much. And I don't love the cold. So I was like, I'm not sure about any of this. Turns out it's great. And also that's the best trip ever. We actually like competition winners every day. When they would like pay for your dinner, we'd be like, oh my God.

And this as well? It was freaking out. I wasn't even doing the gig. I went as lose plus one. I only went for like four days, but I went as lose plus one. It was crazy. That's heaven.

It was crazy. That's heaven. But you can ski, right? Ice snowboard. But what Macy was saying about you is they were saying it was amazing. And they were like, no offense. They didn't expect this. But they were amazing.

They were like, I didn't expect it. And you just went. And as you were going, you were like, we. I didn't expect it either. If I may, I'm terrified of heights.

So I think part of my relief, basically, you know, you have to get those horrible lifts up. Yeah. So those were my nightmare. Every single time we were sat on a lift, someone would even like, someone would just move on it. I'd be like, we're going to die, we're going to die. So every time we actually hit the snow, I was like,

this is wrong. Going closer to the ground. I was so happy, but I really enjoyed it. And also, I don't know, I thought I'd be terrible at it too, but it turns out I'm quite, I hate being bad at things, and I'm quite competitive. And Pierre Novelli was there and was quite good, which is mad because he's,

He only skied once and wore jeans under his falafers. No, I hate that. I hate that so much. I get so cross when boys do this. I got so mad with Stuart Lewis because he just wore a regular gloves that weren't waterproof. And they made me so cross.

It makes me so cross. Why wouldn't you just buy? They just will not help themselves. Why not buy waterproof gloves? I don't understand. I don't understand. All of which, though, was very fun because at the point in which somebody is wearing jeans

and beating you, you are like, okay, no, I have to up my game. I have to actually try this. And I think that's the thing. I think the reason it would be valid to not expect it is that I don't let myself try at things I'm not naturally good at very often. Yeah. But I just decided to have a good time and I just had a real fun time. They were saying, it was incredible.

They were like, she's just like going for it. She's just like, this is great. They're like, she doesn't have the training. I was surely an insurance risk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I probably shouldn't have been trusted, but I had a lovely time. But I think that's so great. I think that's like, it's clearly now did you have you.

It does like go into things like very confidently. I think that's great. Only flirting in. skiing. Nothing else. Only flirting and skiing. Nothing else. Amazing.

Nothing else should be approached with, wee! Get out of my way. That's the flirting. Which when is she skiing? Which when is she flirting? That's yeah. Ice cold.

Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on, Catherine. My God, a pleasure. Yeah, I feel like I want to be a bit more you maybe in like just bouncing, just like avoiding myself. I mean spending too much time with myself, I think. I don't want that anymore.

Yeah, avoid, you can avoid yourself so many ways. Have you thought about having a incredibly intense to-do list where you never can finish it so you're always busy.

I do have that. I do have that to be fair. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do have that. What about watching approximately eight hours of television and listening to about

20 hours of podcasts a week so that you never have to hear your own thoughts? That's a really nice idea. I need to do that more, I think. Yes, okay. Yeah, I'll send you some. Okay, I'll send you some.

Thank you for coming on. You are on tour. Yes, I'm going on tour. So I'm doing Edinburgh and then I'm doing September October of November is my tour dates and my show is called Borrowing Trouble. And I'd love if people came. Oh, I'd love, I'd love

if single ladies came came. Um, Single Ladies, they're going to come and support. That would be amazing. And if they're single ladies looking for other single ladies, then wouldn't that be nice? What does borrowing trouble mean? It's a phrase my dad uses a lot, which is like, when you're worrying about something that may never happen, hasn't certainly happened and could never happen, and you're spending time borrowing a trouble that is not yours, basically. Um, which is funny because he worries all. the time, but I still think it's, it's a nice phrase. When he says it to me, so he'd be like, Catherine, you're borrowing trouble now because that hasn't even happened and it might never.

Because you're either thinking of it. Yeah, you're living as if a thing might happen when it may not. And there's no point of kind of doing that. So just assume everything's fine. And if it comes, you'll deal with it. But if it doesn't, there's no need to pretend it might. Love that. Yeah. And you're on Instagram. Oh my God. Thanks. I am. Catherine Beaux this is great. Wow. We got to get all the facts. We need all the facts at the end. I also have a podcast. Oh my good. Of course. You have a podcast. If you're into that kind of thing. And I think you might be. because you listen to this podcast.

Have you watched Heard Rivalry? No, but I've heard so much about it. Okay, it's like you're not even trying to escape your own feelings. Okay, so there's, it's two gay hockey players. Yes. And they have the most incredible bombs. Bonds? Bonds. I thought you said Bonds, but Bums, yeah.

Oh, yeah, sure. And the bums, their bums are incredible. Oh my God, they're so good. And so Olga and I talk about that a lot. Yeah, episode by episode, basically, and then we read the books. Oh, it's based on books. It's based on books, which is really crazy because you can't even see the bums in those,

but you can just imagine them. It's meant to be an amazing series. It's kind of like, it could be like world changing. It's queer joy on speed, but also if you don't watch porn, then, and I don't, it's very exciting because it's on now TV. You don't have to put in your passport or anything.

It's just there. And you're allowed to watch it. It's crazy. Yeah. Free porn. What's the book I's called? Oh, it's called tonsile hockey. And we're probably going to keep watching other horny shows at some point.

Oh, a podcast for horny shows. That's what we need. That's a great idea. What other horny shows are there? There are so many. Apparently hunting wives. Oh, is that very horny? Yeah, people are sending us a lot of horny shows.

Like a lot. So I think there's going to be, yeah. Oh, there's that really sexy one where they were a couple and then now they're not a couple. I can't remember. There's a really sexy one. Do you know what it's called when I'll find out? Please. I'm not big on detail, as we know.

So it's... Listen, it probably has a woman's name in the title, does it? It's a woman's name. And I cannot, I cannot keep that in because I'm this voice, voice, boys. It was really nice to meet you. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge.

Well, that was the wonderful Catherine Bohart. Oh my God, I sound like I'm on radio four or something. That was the wonderful Catherine Boehart at 10. It was so lovely to chat to Catherine, as it always is. And Catherine is on tour around the UK, and she's coming to a town near you. I bet. If you want to find out where all the details will be in the show notes. And thank you for listening. And we love Amy and we're so proud of all the work she's doing in the environmental field.

She will be back soon as will I. Lots of love to you all. Bye. Bye. Hello, single ladies. If you're a single lady and you're interested in meeting other single people who are really furious about the direction of the Labour Party and a contemplating voting green for the first time, then you might meet them in the all. audience at one of my tour shows. I'm Nish Kumar and my stand-up comedy show is called Angry Humour from a really nice guy. We're going to the UK and Ireland between September and November of 2006 and the tickets are available right now. I will, if requested, organise a dating service during the show. I would say if you're interested in meeting some very angry people they will be at the show and they will be mad as hell. Tickets are available at nishcoma.coma.com.ukh. None of this is legally binding. You may not meet your life

partner at one of Nishgarva's tour shows.