Single Ladies In Your Area - Single Ladies Go Speed Dating

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Amy and Harriet go speed dating and answer questions like: Can speed dating be easier than using the apps? Is it better to go with a friend, or alone? And is shoving a slice of pizza in your mouth the best way to end a conversation? To find out when the next D4100 singles supper club will be head to www.dinnerforonehundred.com and sign up to their mailing list.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Matt Crockett and Linda Blacker.Design by Welcome Studio. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing.

So we're going to speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on. If we manage to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we manage to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Well, this week we're talking about speed dating.

Or not speed dating, actually, because it was quite slow dating, wasn't it? It was slow dating. But we did it, we went, and we want to tell you all about it. Please help us share the shame. Good morning, Amy. Good morning, Harriet. How are you? I don't know how I am.

I feel very flustered. I feel very flustered. I feel quite flustered after the events of last night. Yeah. It was a big night. Yes. It was a big scary night because we went speed dating. We went speed dating in an unconventional way. Not that I've ever done normal speed dating. Yes.

Well, of course, I'm a pro. I go weekly. It's one of my hobbies, speed dating. Galah Iltika. Yeah, I just love it. It's like bingo to me. Yeah, no, this was it. It was in a really cool place.

It was a really lovely restaurant. Amazing. It's called D4100. It's like a pizza place. It was by candlelight oh lovely it wasn't like tacky like I think when you think of speed dating you think of kind of old-fashioned yeah old-fashioned bar middle-aged people which I guess maybe we are no you just you imagine I don't know like old Yeah, and I imagine sitting at like one of them desks

you do exams at in like a school hall. I imagine like loads of people sat on them tiny desks and then you have to go up and like, you've got a three minute buzzer or something. Yeah. And you, hello, what do you do? Where are you from? Are you nice or not?

Yeah, I think it would be like that. And then at the end you say like, oh, I like this person. And then the end, you say like, oh, I like this person. And then you wait to find out like, oh, did they like me back? And then they're like, oh no,

we like Sally. Everybody likes Sally. Oh, Sally with her tits out. No bra Sally. No wonder she's got all the matches. She had them fully out. She was naked the entire time.

Naked Sally. Naked Sally. But no, this was more like a supper club. So it felt, and it was in like Peckham. So it felt like kind of cool, I guess. It was very cool. I guess it was cool.

And we arrived, I thought we were going to be sort of bang on time slash maybe even a bit early. Yes, well it was funny because we met for a drink before and then I was like, oh, I found this place and let's have a drink there. And then I went in and then there was a big sign up saying that it was an old nunnery. And I was like, you know what? This feels like a bad message. This feels like a bad message for the two single ladies to be having a drink at an old nunnery before we go speed dating. Oh, God. Yes, we picked up maybe some vibes yeah from the old nunnery

yeah and so it was it was so nice to have you to do it together oh my god I don't think I I just couldn't

I can't imagine doing that on my own I can't imagine but we had such a nice time just having a drink yeah it was lovely and then we had to go

speed dating do you know what imagine if like a sliding doors kind of film where it's like two women having a drink

before going speed dating they go speed dating and whatever but imagine if we hadn't gone speed dating and then on the table next to us our two dream men

would have come over and chatted to us oh my god imagine that I think our chances would have been higher if we just hung out in the old nunnery

I think we might have been higher if we hung out in the old nunnery. I think we might have been higher if we hung out in an actual nunnery. Yeah. But so we had a drink. Yeah. We made a voice note of how we were feeling, which could be inserted right here. So here we are outside of a pub.'re um we're having a couple of white claws to get us in the mood is it vodka no it's alcohol that's what it says on the can it's not branded

as anything um how are you feeling hungry which i think is really good because there's going to be pizza and i think if if you're scared of something if you can make yourself feel another emotion more so I'm not nervous because I'm more hungry yes I think that's great and I think whenever I get scared I think oh there's gonna be pizza yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah how are you I was just thinking about it though and I was like pizza is quite a hard thing to eat maybe in front of other people. Seductively, yeah. Yeah, you know when it dribbles down and you're trying to hold it. It's not an easy thing to eat.

It's quite sexy actually when you said it like that. When it's all dripping down your chin. Not the way I do it, Amy. What are your expectations for the evening? Low, really low. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really low expectations. Yeah, yeah.

And I feel really nervous. I feel a bit like that kind of going to school kind of feeling. Oh, I totally know what you mean. Yeah. Or starting a new job. Yeah, and I feel a bit shy. I feel a bit shy.

Yeah, that's not really good, is it? But what we need to remember is everyone's going to feel like that. Yeah. And if they don't, they're psychopaths. Yes, yes, yes. And we don't want to know them.

No. And also, we are performers yes if anyone can do this we can do this yes we know above all else we've got a chat yeah yeah after two to three glasses of wine after nine or ten white clothes i've got a little bit of chat The goal is not to vomit. Yeah. Goals, don't get too pissed. Chat a bit. Yes. Because I do actually think in a group setting I'm very quick to be the quiet one.

Yeah, me too. I just be like, oh, let them have fun. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to get in the way of them. I don't want to get in the way of them. I don't want to get in the way of them. Yes. I haven't decided what to say I do as a professional.

Are you just going to go straight in comedian? I didn't even to get in the way of them. I don't want to get in the way of them. I haven't decided what to say I do as a professional. Are you just going to go straight in comedian? I didn't even think about that. But yeah. Because I hate talking about it. I hate talking about it. But also, when I have pretended to be a nurse, the follow-up questions get more and more tricky.

Okay, well, I might say, I might say, me and Harriet over over there comedians. Yes. And then it's like, because the reason I think I hate it is because I think you sound delusional. Because obviously they're not going to know who I am. So if you go, I'm a comedian, they're like, well I don't know who you are, so obviously you're not. Yeah, or they follow it up with tell me a joke and I have nothing.

No, I've got literally nothing. Yeah. I'll just shove pizza in my mouth. Yeah luck to us in the future. Good luck to future Harriet and Amy. Good luck to future Harriet and Amy and we will update you on how this goes. If you find this message and you haven't heard of us, we've been murdered at this few dating events. Send help. Send help. Thank you. Bye. Oh my God. Listening to that back,

I feel so, I feel sad. Like, because even though we're like, oh, I have low expectations, whatever. I still think we had some hope.

That was, that was less than 24 hours ago. And then now all hope is gone. All hope is lost. We didn't vomit though. That's something. we didn't vomit though that's something we didn't vomit and i'll say it's interesting hearing that back and me saying that one thing i was scared of is that i wouldn't speak at all yeah because as we discussed afterwards i went into a very strange mood it was crazy you became like a still a black host of the evening i was the facilitator of the night

every time the conversation went quiet amy went okay so if we had a podcast i was like an 18 to 30s rep you were you were amazing no you were so you kept it going because it kept with chat and then it would go quiet and then i'd just be like i'm just going to enjoy the quiet for a minute and then Amy would come it no but it's what it needed it needed it and I was just kind of shutting down as as I shut down I was just disassociating in my head and as I disassociated you were kind of doing crowd work you were doing bits she's a professional at all times hi I have your speed dating event I don't know what happened that wasn't a reflection of me

I think that was full panic mode you were so charming though I was a chat show host Harriet and also I feel like playing that role I very much felt like I wasn't part of the speed dating event you were hosting it hey Harriet how do you feel about this?

And where are you from? Hey, that's interesting because Samantha's from there too. And I was like, why am I doing this? I think it must be a defence mechanism. I've like opted out of it

and gone, I'll just facilitate everybody else's night. Yeah, yeah. No, that's really interesting. But also you were at the head of the table, I think.

So you were like, I guess this is my role. It's a match. So we arrived. We thought we were going to be sort of early. Or kind of exactly on time and everyone would just be arriving with us. But we got there. Everybody sat down. They've all had a drink.

And we arrived like, hello. We walked in, I have to say, the staff were fantastic. The staff were amazing. Like, they did so well

because everyone is so anxious there and they just were so sweet. And cool. Yeah. They had a very different vibe to me. They were not like a camp counsellor. They were like,

just really cool. I, yeah, would have gone on a date with any of them to be honest it's kind of annoying because I was like when will you be sitting down that barman my god there was okay so there was one of the most attractive men I've ever seen was a barman who kept coming over and being like so ladies was that were them were them guys better or worse and I was just like, oh, why are you here?

This is unfair. This is an unfair element to throw into a singles night. No one's going to look good next to you. Yeah. And he had, I guess, the Fred from First Dates kind of vibe. They're like, just checking in, seeing how it's going. Yes. Yeah.

Unfair to put that into the mix. Yes. And so, yeah, we missed the free prosecco and so when we sat down immediately we're like excuse me somebody excuse me is there a wait in my police we didn't get our drinks excuse me it's an emergency we haven't had our prosecco yes and we did have prosecco and then people getting all these drinks will come to the table and i remember being like what have they ordered them online pre yeah how is this happening how are the drinks coming yeah turns out there was a qr there was a qr code yes yeah and once we discovered that

i felt like the night changed let the spicy margaritas meet the ladies yeah and they were spicy weren't they were spicy yeah at first your eyes you were like you couldn't hand it but then the more we had the more we just yeah we powered the first sip of it i was like oh this is embarrassing the spice in this margarita is gonna give me an asthma attack and i'm the facilitator of the night how's this this going to work? But don't complain. Sip it down. Sip it right down. We were so brave. We got sat together,

which I didn't think that we were going to. Yes, I didn't think so. And that was so nice and reassuring. It was. But then it's hard for people listening if they're like, well, I'm really scared about going to a singles night on my own. What I will say is it will be scary.

But on our table, so the way this night works is you're sat in it's like one long table comprised of small tables and on each table there was two to three women and then the men would come and join and so me and Harriet were there together but there was also another woman who'd come on her own called Samantha she was great she was brilliant yeah she just came on her own and I think that's the thing I think a lot of people there did come on their own and it actually. She was great. She was brilliant. Yeah, she just came on her own. And I think that's the thing. I think a lot of people there did come on their own and it actually didn't matter at all. I think it was only us two that was together.

Yes, it was only us two. I think that was quite weird. And actually, I think maybe it is a bit harder because you're like, you just want to chat to your friend and then you're like, who's this guy? Like, why is this guy running our chat? Excuse me, sir. Can you move away?

Excuse me, sir. We're having a conversation here about a podcast. So I think if you do want to focus on that, that's not a bad, it's not a bad in any way. Like I think it's actually maybe a positive thing to go on your own and just put yourself out there. Now I've done it. If I were to do it again, I would be, oh my God,

so much less scared. Yeah. The idea of walking in on my own yesterday would have been too much and I think I probably would have bottled it if I'm honest yeah if I was just going on my own I probably would have gone I can't do this yeah if you'd have said I can't go yeah I don't think I would have gone unless I could have found somebody else to go with me I don't yeah and that's kind of sad and there was a bit before we went in and you were like oh it's just like going into a party on your

own and I was like I hate that yeah and I think that's one of the things I really like want to work on at the moment with myself is like you come out of a relationship and you're on your own then you're like wow I have this real opportunity to kind of grow and I had like a support network and I didn't have to work on this stuff I always had someone I could go with you always had that and now it's like actually I want to be a human that can walk into a room on my own yeah or with Amy um not feel really afraid and so I think it's good to do these things that are really scary because we're only going to grow and actually if you're in a relationship you're not doing those things well everyone they're they're just stagnant they're stagnant they're not growing

they're not growing at some, I want to stop growing and I just want to relax. I don't want to be too big. No, no. I don't want to grow to the extent where I've outgrown everyone. Yes, yes.

It is quite exhausting growing, but I think it's good that we're doing it and we're going to come out of this kind of stronger. Yeah. And now I've done it with you, I wouldn't be scared

about going again just seeing that like this other woman on our table Samantha she was on her own and she was just like I've never done this before

she'd just moved to London like six months ago and she was like I'm terrified and it's like of course you are yeah but then

I'd say 15 minutes into the night, all that fear has gone. The fear of being alone and dying alone is very much present. But the fear of, like, walking into a room, like you said in the voice note about it feeling like the first day of school, it's just the getting into the building. Yeah.

I genuinely think that's the hardest bit. Yeah, I agree. And once you're in and you're sat and you're like, okay, I I can do this and everyone there is there for the same thing like you think they're looking at you like what is this fucking lonely loser doing in this speed dating event that's why you're here as well you have to remember that like they're also looking for it and yeah they I think some of them were trying to act like a little bit cool maybe or like they were going on their phones a little bit and it was like and then actually you're like oh god this is so embarrassing like they're not in and then you're like no that's they should be putting themselves out there more actually it's that's not a thing

that's good yeah exactly and I would say that the attitudes of everyone there apart from a couple of the lads everyone was like just really doing it uncynically unironically yeah it felt like maybe this is why i went into facilitator mode i once had a job where i would facilitate volunteers coming to the uk who were like young and i'd facilitate these groups of like young people from around the world and just get everyone chatting and it sort of felt like that it felt like um or it felt like the vibe of like if you've ever stayed in like a youth hostel and you're in the kitchen and everyone's like hey where are you and it was just very like I wouldn't say there was a romantic vibe which I was glad about yeah it was almost like

a friendship like how this is how you make friends of your own age. And that to me, knowing that is a lot less scary than being like, cause we talked in the voice note about like, how do you eat pizza seductively? Oh, there's none of that. It's literally you chatting like in a youth hostel.

Yeah. I was like, Oh, am I going to be able to eat? You know, like, because I might be and absolutely I could I ate all the places that was available I think the pizza really helped it was like um a

discussion point like oh this is nice pizza and it was like comforting you know and it's really like the food there is really good like I do recommend just going there in general definitely there was a point where somebody came to collect Harriet's plate and lifted the plate off the table and Harriet put both her hands on the plate and pulled it back down. I was like, I respect that so much. I needed that pizza so much. They're like, is this finished with? I'll just take that.

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and take the first step towards your new home today. You've got to get in there and sniff them. So we sat down and then we were with samantha and these two guys so they were already there when we got there yes oh yeah and it is weird it's just yeah that's maybe what is tricky maybe this usual speed dating is like you're just like chatting one and one yeah and so there was like a big group thing yeah only because on the night we went a load of the men dropped out last minute. Do you think they heard we were going?

I think word got around and the boys fled. Oh no. Well, the lovely people, and they are lovely, at Dinner for 100 said that they've now put a waiting list system in so next time it would be more one-on-one and if men drop out...

Yeah, so I think we were just a bit unlucky on our night. Yeah. There was three women and they would send two men. Yeah. So then it was a bit like, okay. Well, it was impossible to break off into like a conversation with just like one person. I kind of like that.

Yeah. But if I'd have gone, I really like this guy, and then gone, oh, well, he's sat across a table and I can't really hear him. Yeah. And he's chatting to two other women. It would have been quite tricky. But so with the first two guys,

I don't want to slag anyone off, but I would say one of the first two guys, I took a very strong dislike to yes and we talked about this at the time but uh he made a comment about about Birmingham accents yeah it made me it made me it made me really cross but because it was we literally just arrived I felt like it was it would be very difficult to be like me, I think what you've just said is grotesque. But he was, you know, I feel like he was socially flailing, grasping at anything.

People are trying to be funny. People are trying to be funny. I just didn't laugh when it was said, because I was like, I don't... And then it felt like I was being rude by not laughing, but I was like, I don't want to join in on this. Yes, same. And especially when

it's like a group of people with southern accents and then. And then me with a whole accent again. And then and it's and he seemed quite posh. Yeah. And was just like so two of them were talking about how people with Birmingham accents could say anything and they could be really smart but they sound thick and I was just like oh I hate. Yeah, I hated it. I hate this. Also, that guy, I would say he was the worst of the night. And he wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't look at me. And he would look at you occasionally.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, I was, yeah, I'm back in. Okay. Okay. Oh, I was, yeah, I'm back in. Okay. But he had his whole, he was fully committed to Samantha, which is totally fine. Yes, that's what we're there for.

But also, socially, you can have 100% preference for someone, but socially in a group, it's very awkward to fully blank out one like I was sat next to him he wouldn't look at me I didn't notice that I that makes me hate him even more also he looks like one side of my family I have cousins that looked like him and I was like he really looks like he could be a cousin it was really confusing for me i was like this is my long lost cousin yeah yeah and the other guy was like so sweet he was so sweet so sweet but then no just no vibe there was no vibe there was no sexy vibe he was just like a nice boy who you'd be like oh i'd like to go kayaking with you or something. He had a real kayak vibe. He had a real outdoorsy kayaking, bright eyed, bushy tail,

even though it was a 30s to 40s night. So he must be 30 at least. He seemed like a 25 year old kid. And I was like, who are you here with young boy? Is your daddy here? Do you need looking after? So that was round one. Been up too much this weekend?

Oh! So then we had a lovely time just chatting. And then the men came, the second men. The second men. They have to send, and I honestly quite like this, they got all the men to leave the restaurant and stand in the rain outside while they rearranged like the table settings and stuff and i was like i love this bit this is my

favorite bit get the men out and there was while they were changing things over there was like three to five minutes in the restaurant where it was all women and the vibe was so good yeah yeah it was so good that was my favorite bit then the new men come in so then the women stay in the same place the new men come and sit down and round two round two ding ding ding I think the guy next to you was maybe a little bit into you okay yeah you said this afterwards and I didn't, I was so unaware because the pizza was so good that I, yeah, couldn't, I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to eat that bit? Are you eating that? Excuse me, are you eating that? He's like, so where are you from?

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that, is this meaty or veg? He was really nice. He was really sweet. He was really sweet. He was really sweet. He was a really lovely guy. He was a lovely boy. The guy next to him did not seem like he wanted to be there in any way.

The guy next to him. He looked kind of like, this is beneath me. I would say that was his vibe. He was my favourite character of the night. He was, and obviously this isn't why we went but if i was to write a sitcom character yes he would be the one yeah he was fascinating he was kind of handsome oh he was handsome for sure yeah i think everyone was like there was no real uggos there was no real uggos and equally no real like oh my god you're a model it was all kind

of like a nice yeah just like a good they've lived a life they've found themselves here but there was no real or goes everyone seemed pretty clean but this guy i would say the closest fictional character to him is jeremy from peepshire yes he had a real jazz vibe a mixture of jazz and um hands he was super jazz yeah he was super jazz yeah and the line of the night the thing that i woke up this morning thinking about was when he was talking to Harriet and was sort of saying oh yeah I'm in a band I said what do you play and he said percussion percussion and then in my head I was like what does that mean and so I said what is percussion like what instrument is that and he said he said with no shame in his voice whatsoever and genuinely being like i'm the coolest guy in this

room he said castanets and i nearly dropped my glass i was like that's the funniest thing i've ever seen or heard in the wild and samantha the other woman i saw her clock it and she, to be fair to her, shoved a piece of pizza in her mouth and I was like, this is fantastic stuff. And I was like really trying not to react and I was looking at Harriet being like, how is Harriet dealing with this? Because it was the conversation between you two and you were still kind of like maintaining eye contact and I was like, wow, she's doing good.

Because it turned out I didn't know what castanets were. That's what happened. That's what happened. I thought it was like a string instrument or something. But then, but then I was kind of questioning him a bit more and he kind of did a pincer move. It's like a crab. And I was like,

oh, oh. And that's when it, that's when it kind of dawned. Yeah. So if anyone listening is like, I'm not sure what catanets are. It's the thing, if you're me,

it's the thing your auntie Carol brings back from Spain as a souvenir when you're eight years old. It's a little clickety clackety palm of the hands thing. Clickety clack, click, click, clack. Children often have them. I guess if you're like Spanish and doing like the Paso Doble or something, it's like, that's cool.

It's in, the best thing is from Strictly Ballroom. Have you ever seen that film? Oh, yes. And there's some like, I think maybe Spanish people, and they've got the catanets. They're doing it amazingly. They're dancing as well. I think what was, he was very tall.

So visually it was a fun image of somebody tall with these tiny little hand pincers in a band. And he was being so cool. He was just like, yeah, I live in a squat and a bit like a cool squat and all this. And I was like, oh, you're very funny. Yes. But not bad. Not bad. None of them were bad.

None of them were bad. None of them were bad. It was just like none of this is a connection. Right. Harriet, how's it going? Terrible. It couldn't be a nicer place. The pizza is amazing. I feel like I want to die.

Is that normal? I think it's normal. Yes. I don't know how to speak. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do this. You're doing great. You're just doing so well,

but I just feel like this is so stressful. You're doing great. Genuinely. Okay, okay. And we've met a lovely person called Sam, but the main news we want to tell you is that there's a man here who plays percussion. Harriet asked what percussion.

The man said, and i kid you not castanets and yeah and none of all of us all three of us did so well we did sam sam just ate some pizza i was desperately trying to look at harry i didn't know what castanets were so and it's worse, so... LAUGHTER But, yeah, it's going fine. Thank you. Amy, we've got to get out there. Then the third lot came, and our worst nightmares came true.

Yeah. Because he recognised Amy. As he was walking to the table, he was going, I know you, I've seen you on stage. And I went, oh God. And then he sat down and started doing my material at me. And I was like, well, this is my worst nightmare. You handled it so well, but it's a literal worst nightmare. It this is my worst nightmare you handled it so well but it's a literal worse it's a literal worst nightmare it's a literal worst and then for me it was that he does comedy

and he is Canadian and I thought what have I done in this life to have divorced a Canadian comedian gone through the trauma of that from the last year and then bravely attend a speed dating event and sit down and be faced with a Canadian comedian and I was trying to ask I like mentioned one name because he kept mentioning Canadian comedian and I was like I feel like he's gonna bring him up and I just shut down at that point I was like I can't do this anymore I'm done and I think in my head I was like I can't believe this I'm in my 30s I'm single I'm going to a speed dating event in London and I think in my head I thought I was going to become Carrie Bradshaw yeah I was going to have this thing where I was just like flirty and like chatting to people and actually I just started to shut down and I was

like I don't know how to do this yeah yeah yeah yeah well you did really well genuinely but I could see that at this point but we had been there for three hours yeah i could see at this point the light in your eyes was dimming it was small talk i'm really bad at small talk and it was 45 minutes and then 45 minutes and then an hour and a half at the end talking about stand-up i was like this i. Yeah. And it was nothing against the guys. The guys were all nice, lovely. But very enthusiastic about stand-up, which, as we said in our voice note, we hate talking about.

Yeah. And then it was kind of like, hey, how do you do this? Do you do this? What's it like when you do this? Do you know these people? How do I get onto a sketch writing course? And we were just like, oh, no.

We're trying to find love. Please, sir. Please. Please love please please sir yeah and I think I just it's so dumb like in the scheme of things but I just find it really hard sometimes to be like this is a night out yeah and like I can't go out every night like because usually I'm working and then if I have a night off where I don't have Mabel I was like I've spent this night doing this and it's like you have to do these things but it's really hard to justify it in your head to be like I've wasted this evening like I just feel stupid and then you start to have all these thoughts and so we're sat there and then it's like but I should be joining in the conversation but so much was happening in my head that I just was

like I can't I just I just want to leave but no one one was leaving. It's just hard. It's just so hard. Yeah. That's when my questions really went into the realms of like... Amy was so funny. She was just like, if we were a podcast, what podcast would we be? You were just managing the situation. You just switched and you became this amazing, which is what we needed. But it became like an emergency situation.

It felt like you were all my children and there was like something bad had happened, like the house had set on fire and we were all outside in the car park and I was trying to keep everyone like, hey, it's all right, don't think about it, don't think about the fire. Hey, hey.

I was just watching it, just like, just amazed, just surprised. I was like, it just like just amazed just surprised I was like what is happening I didn't know what was happening we were both

freaking out and disassociating in different ways different ways mine was less helpful yours was yours was really helpful I don't think

it was helpful I think it was mad I think people were like can she just chill out we just want to like chill out it was so good because it was mad i think people was like can she just chill out we just know it was so good because it kept talking then it would go quiet and then you'd come around the table i like brie and there's do a funny action for each word come on two truths and a lie i've gone into like corporate team building mode it was fucking hell no no no god no I could see a lot

of kind of people connecting like it was nice like there's and it was all candlelit and there was like some lovely night where I could just see people having these moments and um when um the first guy left we were like oh I think he liked you Samantha Samantha. And she was like, oh, yeah, maybe. And then the second guy, and I was like, I think he likes you, Amy. And then it was quiet, and I was like, okay, I guess no one's into me then. Yes, that's where we are. The thing that I was scared of is going

in there, and then nobody liking me. And then that did happen, and I'm fine. I was really scared. I was really scared that that would happen. And then you're like, oh, that's fine. You know what I mean? Like, I was really scared. I was really scared that that would happen. And then you're like, oh, that's fine. You don't match with everybody and it doesn't matter. And there's moments when you're like, oh, my God,

like, I need everybody to like me or I need this. And then I was like, it's fine. I just don't think it's my, I think I really have to know somebody. And that's what's so hard with the dating thing. Like, I need to know somebody or I don't know what to do do but maybe it's that it's only specific people I can connect to or I can't do the small talk or I don't know what it is and I think what's interesting is that it felt like oh you swipe so many people on the dating apps like no no no no no no no whatever but then these are just people that yes you might not necessarily have you wouldn't match with them

and so you're just like oh you're giving it a chance whatever but actually maybe you shouldn't but i would say i i think presume this is everyone but might not be you you can only fancy someone if there's that vibe whatever that vibe is if it's there, it's there. And if it's not, it's not. And on apps, I find like, I've never, I've never really like seen someone on an app and gone, oh, I fancy you. Because how can you? Yeah, I agree. Whereas at least with speed dating, it's like,

oh, there's no vibe here. Great. I know this. No one's going to waste anyone's time. It's instant. So I actually feel like it's kind of like, I mean, look, we spend three and a half hours and we only met six men. That's it.

And there were so many other guys in there. Yeah. And as much as last night was not exhausting and not everything that we'd hoped for, I actually think the speed dating and meeting people in person is actually for me i think that's quite good because at least you're like there's no vibe there's no vibe oh there could be a vibe but you just know instantly you know you know in 10 seconds and i think it does having all people in a room that are single it really helps because otherwise

you're out in life and then you're like there's a bit of a vibe and then you're like, oh, but do they, and then they're like, oh, they have a girlfriend. And then you just feel silly. Oh my God. And so it's like, oh,

just stick them all in this room. Yeah. Work it out amongst yourselves. Good luck. But then they did. Stick them in, lock the doors. Come on,

settle. And then I think they would do go onto a bar afterwards. Maybe. But I was like, I just had to get out of there because I just was mentally like done. But actually that, if we could have stayed a bit more, if I hadn't disassociated

and you hadn't gone into whatever state you went into, we could have kept it going. They'd be like, oh, you know, you have a life to live. And I got home to my dog and I was just like, you're all I need. I was just so grateful to be home. And I was like, this dog and I was just like, you're all I need. I was just so grateful to be home. And I was like, this is, I've done that. And I felt like it was really like intense.

And I feel like I'm still recovering from it. But I just feel so, I just feel so, I felt so grateful to have a bit of time on my own. Yes, completely. And how do you kiss someone? Amy, you just got a lunge. What I will say is just a slight twist for the evening, is I got home, was like, OK, well, that was an interesting night.

I'm sort of glad I've done it, because I've never done anything like that before. I'm proud of us for going, because we were both scared. And I was like, OK, that's great. And then I got home, there's a little DMm okay little slide in the dms a little slide in the dms yeah from the guy I would say I was like the most interested in interesting well yeah I mean but not yeah it was difficult where you were sat because you weren't near each other yeah and um his messages were very funny like really funny

which is obviously a big thing for me and he'd made the effort to like find me and dm me yes and I was like okay interesting so look that's all that's happened I'm not saying anything either way but it was nice to to message someone who I've met yeah rather than a photograph really nice guy he seemed like a good guy I feel bad because I was like okay I really have to leave now Amy like we have to get out of here and then we left maybe quite abruptly and like no that was good I'd done all my bits I couldn't compare the table any harder I think if something happens between you guys you might be the only couple that have ever met at a speed dating event. Because never when you've met somebody and they're like,

how did you meet? They're like, speed dating. We just went speed dating. We fell in love. What can I say? Oh my God, you're so right. You would be the only couple that ever became from a speed dating event. I've never heard of anyone be like, oh, speed dating.

Tell us all this time. You could have your wedding catered by D D4100 to get those pizzas in. That would be good. This is great. This is a lovely ending, actually. I actually, I love this so much. No, but just it's nice to have been like, there was a little vibe. You know, like I left being like this was useless and I feel terrible.

And it was for me, but for you. This may be the start of something. Would you go again yes what is wrong with me there's such a great place and they sent an email um afterwards and they were like oh one of the things we'll work on is we will um have like a fourth round or something and make that and like so they say i think they're really i think you have to do things you don't want to do. And yes, do I feel exhausted and a bit like I've been hit by a bus today? Yes. But I think it's a muscle that I have to learn is how to speak to people

and make small talk. Like you going into that hosting mode, yes, it might have been a little bit unhinged. I feel like there was a point where I had a whistle and like hey guys this is the game for the next round I'm gonna do a quiz uh yeah but you have to do that a bit you have to force yourself out of your comfort zone and you have to put your personality out there a little bit and I think that served you and this guy saw that and was like that's what I want an emcee in the restaurant maybe he was just like oh well she clearly like runs the night I'll just send her a message

thanks so much for having me on speed dating I really thought Harriet was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen I wondered if I could get the number of your client, one of your customers. No, I'm proud of us. I'm really proud of us. We did it. It's scary and we're doing it. And I honestly, I would recommend it to people listening.

Yeah. I honestly would. It's not easy. It's not easy easy but just keep your expectations low and just be proud that sounds terrible but generally just yeah maybe the only goal of the night is to just do it yes and i feel like we're owed good karma by the love gods now because we did this we're gonna bump into someone in a coffee shop you know oh yeah and i'm gonna emcee the shit out of it oh did you want a coffee i hope the

croissants are good what do you think about cinnamon buns we've done it we did it i feel so stressed amy did so well how it well I started to shut down um emotionally physically uh verbally mainly it was so much small talk and so many men looking at their phones and talking about James Acosta oh my god and it was like only like six men that we actually got to speak to and it's called speed dating and actually we're chatting to them for a real time. We were slow dating. We were slow dating. But it was such a lovely place.

And it was like, they really like did so well. Like it couldn't have been a nicer venue. And everyone like is just looking for love. But it's so hard. It's horrible out there. Fuck. It's, um, I went into chat share host mode amy did so well she was like hey guys no but that that you know that's when i'm panicking you did you did you know what i was

i was like uh you were charming an american camp counselor yeah be like hey guys hey guys what does everyone think of salt and pepper i was fucking i was drowning you did in small talk you did so well it was so much small talk and you just managed to make it seem so charming and i just shut down i would say there's no love connections there i have love for you i have love for you my love connection you're my love connection and spicy margaritas and wowie they are good good yeah they're good pizza was good yeah great and it was a beautiful place beautiful candles and I reckon there'd have been so many women in there who would have been great people to chat to and that'd be fun and we would have made friends

oh okay but we did it we did it we did. And we don't have to go out again. Ever again. Do we? We don't have to go out ever again. We've done it. Just go home to my cabapoo and my daughter. But do you know what? The good thing about that is I'll never be scared of that again. That's our debrief. Let's go home, Harriet. Please.

Hello, me again, Amy Gledhill. But this time, I'm with... Not Harriet Kemsley. Whoa, WT, fuck! What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Off at Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast that's not about the news.

Don't worry, single ladies. No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single. No. It's about the North, and all of our stories are about couples. That is not the truth, Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff.

It's funny stuff that's going on up North that we're reporting back on. Things like... Pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in bath mat. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Knappett, Ed Gamble and Ross Noble, who joined us in the studio.

Woo-hoo! Yeah! So that's Northern News, starting next Thursday, the 1st of May, and then every Thursday after that. Join us.