Single Ladies In Your Area - The Love Languages Test

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

This week Amy and Harriet take the official Love Languages test to find out what they need to feel loved and appreciated. Is assembling flat pack furniture the greatest show of affection? Can anything beat a big hug? Is the answer just to hire someone on Taskrabbit and buy a dog? Take the test alongside Harriet and Amy here. Support the podcast and enjoy early and ad-free listening, BTS content and more by subscribing to our Patreon at patreon.com/singleladiesinyourareaTell us your Love Language! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespod and Twitter @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Matt Crockett and Linda Blacker.Design by Welcome Studio. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing.

So we're going to speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on. If we manage to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone we might even get our exes on yeah we'll see about that this is single ladies in your area so this episode we're going to talk about love languages which is finding what you need in a relationship to feel loved and appreciated which i'd not really heard of and i have um researched extensively and i'm really hoping for a different outcome that doesn't make me seem like a terrible and appreciated. Which I'd not really heard of. And I have researched extensively

and I'm really hoping for a different outcome that doesn't make me seem like a terrible person. Okay. Well, we'll find out, shall we? Let's find out. I'm excited to do this

about love languages because I actually think it's very helpful. Really? See, I've never really looked into it. We've got a test here. So everybody can do this at home

and work out what your love language is. So we're on five, the number five, fivelovelanguages.com. Oh, this is exciting. Oh, so you know a lot about them? Yeah. I, a few years ago,

I guess in a bid to save my marriage, got into love languages. I actually found it really helpful. I would say for me, it's been a humbling, humiliating experience learning what my love languages are. And we'll see if this one comes up with the same results. Maybe I've changed. Maybe I've changed.

Maybe how I express love is different now. Okay. But it was really helpful to understand that my ex wasn't doing things to be malicious he just that's not how he expressed love wow god that's huge i mean we still broke up yeah but it's good to know it's just good to know it's good to know i can't believe there's only five so there's five people listening there's five love languages, which are acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation and receiving gifts. I feel like, I don't know why I was shocked that there was only five. I feel like there should be loads more, but actually I couldn't think of another thing.

Looking at it now, what do you think your thing is? Maybe quality time? I am gift. I am gift I am active service or gift it's disgusting it's genuinely disgusting it's how I feel loved

everybody stop judging me it's how I feel loved that's fine if you buy me something I like I like it when it's just me and them

and they just and we just sit an inch away from each other and that's it for the whole day. Is that fine? Is that normal and fine? I think all of them can be gross. I think we've managed to make the love languages weird.

Yeah. Okay. Instantly. Quality time I think is a lovely one, but I do agree. I guess it can border into obsessive. Yeah. I just want to hold on to them. Yeah.

Quality time can become all the time. I just want all the time. I just want all the time. I just want all their time. Is that all right? My love language is all of their time, energy and attention. And I want to be touching them. Or maybe physical touches in there as well then. Because I just want to be near them and touching them.

I don't want to be near them. I just want them to send me something. Is this flirting? First question is, are you in a relationship or are you single? Which, thanks, love languages. Thanks for that. Thank you so much. But we're at question one, so let's go through them.

So it's more meaningful to me when, and then you've got two options. Someone I love sends me a loving note, text, email for no special reason. I hug someone I love. For me, that's really obvious. I love a hug. Yeah. I was thinking about this the other night. I wouldn't get the bus to have sex with someone.

I would walk. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I would walk through a desert of glass to have a good hug. Wow. Yeah. Interesting how you see sex is so different from hugs. Yeah, I really do.

I really do. Not just like a hug, but like a big cuddle. There is nothing better than hugging someone you love oh my god it's so good maybe a hug and a kiss but like sex no no penetration thank you I'm getting off that bus the next stop put your willy away please yeah it's and I've definitely I don't know if this is relatable or harrowing, I've definitely had sex with people for the hugs after. Is that the worst thing I've ever said? No, I think that's really honest and true.

Oh God, but saying it out loud is mortifying. I've banged for hugs. But I think the thing is you can't predict the hugs. No, that's true. That's it. It's kind of better to just hug someone yeah a bit longer that um no there's nothing worse i am i only i'm very anti hugs if it's someone i don't know and like and yes oh my god 100 like most people i wish we'd get rid of handshaking i don't want you to

touch my hand while you're touching my hand yeah what is i don't know your hands don't touch my hand i just want to kind of nod at you politely hello and get on with my way but if I like someone I want to just hug yeah yeah yeah 100% 100% but hugging someone that you want to have sex with I think is sometimes better than having sex yeah a really good hug with someone you fancy oh god so I think we might both be hugs here because um it's like blah blah blah yeah thanks for the email you know what I mean like I'll be like it's it's like nice if it's like blah blah blah yeah thanks for the email you know what I mean like I'll be like it's it's like nice if it's like but I've only ever got these kind of things when someone's done something wrong like then they've sent me an email and been like I'm really sorry

about that thing I do love you because you know and so you're like well I guess what if it was just a positive thing so someone that you really fancy can't imagine it right hug it is then question two it's more meaningful to me when I can spend alone time with someone I love just us

yes please someone I love does something practical to help me out oh you see I love that too I love both of them loads what if you're alone and somebody is helping you

oh my god what I would love is someone to be like putting together some like flat pack DIY sat on the floor but I'm sat behind them just hugging them.

That's my dream scenario. I'm just going, oh, you're so great for doing this. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Support Ask Rabbit, guys. You have to pay attention for this. I know, I know, I know.

Just keep doing the screws. That's it. You're doing so good. Like, I just always need help with stuff. Like, I guess it's just like part of my personality. I don't like it about myself. It's too late. There's nothing I can do.

Help me. Make it a bit easier. If somebody like offers to do something kind for you, it instantly makes me feel like i'm gonna cry yeah do you mean they're like yeah just you don't have to ask a whole battle about it they just do it i've actually updated my hinge and recently and i've put ideally looking for someone with a working printer it's what i want i want somebody that can just do these things it's not some people

it's not a big deal for them they can just print stuff in like a few seconds that's not a big deal they can just do that and I need somebody that can do that because for me

it's hours it's hours and it never results in something printed I don't understand it's a whole it's a whole thing I want somebody

that is just like I will print this I can do that for you I'll just yeah yeah of course I can do that for you I'll print it for you oh my god or I've just printed that for you what like that's amazing oh you just love a roast do you it's more meaningful to me when someone I love gives me a little gift as a token of our love or concern for each other or I get to

spend uninterrupted leisure time with those I love let's pretend to think about this okay interesting yeah yeah yeah so you want a little gift there that's cute it's cute I just think like that's how I do things for for other people like I just like if I see something someone will like then I'm like oh like I should get that for them and like I really like if someone goes away and then they come back and they're like oh I saw this it just made me think like it's just I do find love in that and I guess my mum is very like that and um my dad was like very good at gift and so I think it literally is like how I was raised okay like yeah that is a way that they showed love that's really nice yeah that's really nice. Yeah. That's really nice. Not for me. I want to, the key word in this for me is uninterrupted.

I get to spend uninterrupted leisure time. Nobody's there. It's me. And it's them. We're so close. We're watching a film, but we're not. I'm literally just looking at the side of their head. I love you so much.

Have you considered getting a dog? I really want a dog. I think a lot of this is genuinely me wanting a dog. I think you just need a dog because this is like, this is what I do with my dog all the time. It's just me and my dog

and I think you need a dog to take some of the heat off. Oh God. Oh God. Oh, God. Yeah. Okay. Great. Next one.

It's more meaningful to me when someone I love does something unexpected for me to help me with a project or I can share an innocent touch with someone I love. Again, it's back to touching. Yeah, just pretending to think. Oh, so which one? Which one is it that I like? Oh, you like the help. The that i like oh you you like the help with the project yes yeah i find projects very overwhelming life is overwhelming help me yeah i think i'm going to agree with that unexpected help with the project is so thoughtful it's so thoughtful it's just sweeping oh i picked this up for you because i know you needed it yeah you'd be really

tired and you wouldn't have food and so i've got you there. And that's what I'd do for somebody else, just like making your life just like, it's like you have like a teammate that's like, oh I'll do this thing because I'm good at this thing and you're good at this thing and I'll do that for you. Rather than just like they suddenly touched you and you're like, ugh. Like, you know what I mean? Okay.

It's more meaningful to me when someone I love puts their arm around me in public. Someone I love surprises me with a gift. Okay. More meaningful to me when... Do you think public rather than private is more important? It's interesting that you say public because it's like I acknowledge you in public. Yeah, I really appreciate that.

That is quite nice. I do think that's quite nice. It's no gift. I do think that's nice. Yeah. I think just when, because I've had partners that are really good at this and partners that are really bad at this, when you're out in public in like a group setting and you've kind of split off, I think some guys just completely forget that you're there. And you just feel really like, oh. And then there's some guys who are really good socially and they can go and like mingle, but you just see them just checking on you or they'll walk past and just be like,

little tap on the arm or something, just be like, I'm here, you're there, everything's fine, you all right? Yes. And then, and that is to me like incredible. So if there was just like a little, I'm round, like I'm not, God, this is an awful thing to say,

but like, I'm not embarrassed to be with you. Yes, bad, bad boyfriends, real bad boyfriends real bad i can be you you we can be together and i'm proud of you i'm proud to be with you in public because i think if someone's trying to keep it quiet or like not showing you off like it feels really bad you're like i want someone to be like oh my god this is my person i put my arm around you because i want everyone to know that i'm with you like i completely get that yeah yeah i get that um but um i i do really i'm gonna have a gift um but but i actually do really like that and i'm really i really am like a hand holder and i always want to be like touching but um it's no gift it's no gift okay next one is more meaningful to me when i'm around someone i love even if we're not really

doing anything I can be comfortable holding hands high-fiving or putting my arm around someone I love yeah I think I think mine is the second one because I think I think being physically comfortable with somebody is important yeah and why are we not doing anything see that one's really appealing to me again it's so I can just look at the side of their head and whisper, I love you so much. Oh my God, I love you so much. I need a dog. Can we buy Amy a dog from the podcast for Christmas? You're so good.

Oh, you're such a good boy. You're such a good boy. You're like, oh, I didn't want a boyfriend. I just needed a dog. I needed a dog. I want a puppy so bad. You need a puppy,, I didn't want a boyfriend. I just needed a dog. I needed a dog. I want a puppy so bad. You need a puppy, Amy. This is all you need. It's a match. It's more meaningful to me when I sit close to someone I love or I am complimented by someone I love for no apparent reason. Sit close for me. Yeah, I think me as well

because it's just like, oh, so I never feel like it's a compliment they'll be like oh I like your hair today well what was wrong with it yesterday you know what I mean like it's always like I think I've been scarred from past relationships yeah wait why are you why why I think it's so interesting how much of our personal baggage is coming through these questions like it's so revealing about us, what we've been through. This is amazing. It's more meaningful to me when I get the chance to just hang out

with someone I love. I unexpectedly get small gifts from someone I love. Yeah, I think we both know what we're putting there. Okay. Yeah, I think we both know what we're putting there. Okay. Yeah, next. It's more meaningful to me when I get to do things with someone I love. I hear supportive words from someone I love. Do things for me.

Yeah, I think it's do things. I think supportive words can be good. That is something that my ex was really good at, at being very supportive and those pep talks and stuff like this. And now I'm trying to do those things myself and learn how to do them myself. So I don't need them from anybody, actually. Good!

So don't even worry. Well, I had a situation with an ex where I was moving house and I really could have done with some physical help moving house, but he didn't want to do that. But he gave me a 20 minute pep talk in the morning. Oh my God.

Oh my God. About how I could do it all myself. And then when I was upset, like six hours later, my back was fucked. And I was like, really upset. And I was in a bit of a mood with him. I think quite rightly. And he's just like, well, what's up? And I was just like, I just need your help.

And he's like, I gave you a pep talk. I'm sorry I'm sitting down. I'm exhausted from the pep talk. Is he pepping someone up? Yeah. I've just carried the wardrobe. Well, I've just carried you emotionally through carrying that wardrobe.

So tell me who's more tired. That's awful. Yeah, so that's why I'm like... Did they have something they couldn't move? Like they had something they had to do like... Oh no, he was just in his flat.

The bar is so low. Yeah. It would be so easy to impress me right now. Yeah. With anything. Yeah. Ideally a gift.

Ideally just sitting really close to me for a few hours and let me just look at you, tell you how great you are. Okay, moving on. It's more meaningful to me when someone I love does things for me instead of just talking about doing nice things. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

Yes. I feel connected to someone I love through a hug. Sorry, hug. It's because just talking about it, about like that's it's just the way that that is phrased it's the talking about it and the oh I don't know

I love a hug yeah I do love a hug but um I feel like hugs are also like bare minimum you know what I mean like we should be hugging all the time

but that's sorry this has got me riled this has got me so riled up when they're just talking to you about doing things you're like that would be nice wouldn't it if we did that

that would be so nice and then they just don't do it and so you're like I why are we living like I would rather not talk about it if we did that that would be so nice and then they just don't do it and so you're like why are we living like I would rather not talk about it than what's the point

that's true I can always imagine I can do nice things yeah so you're going top one I'm gonna I'm going hog I like

yeah you just yeah you like I need a dog more meaningful to me when I'm able to just be around someone I love I get a back rub from someone I me when I'm able to just be around someone I love. I get a back rub from someone I love. Why would you want to be around them when they could be giving you a back rub?

Sorry. Are we just saying it together? Yeah, you could be rubbing my back while we're just saying it together. Why don't we just do that? Obviously. You see, in my head, I was like, get off my back. How can I be looking at your face if you're behind me? I need to be looking at your cheeks.

I just need a masseuse, I think, basically. Right. When I get a puppy, I'll get you a masseuse. So wait, you're going for the one you're just around them? Yeah. They're not doing anything for you? Yeah. But they could be doing something for you?

Yeah, but I want to see them. Get a mirror? Could get a mirror. But they're behind, I want them in front of me. But they're needing those knots, Amy. I mean, that is good. Oh, that's crazy. Everyone's love languages are right for them,

but I will say some are a little bit less thought through than others. Roses are red, violets are blue. We've matched on and up. What you up to? It's more meaningful to me when someone I love reacts positively to something I've accomplished or negatively. No, that's not it. Someone I love does something for me that I know they don't particularly enjoy.

They're birth good. Do you have a really obvious answer? Well, I once forced an ex after he did something bad. He hates roller coasters and I made him go to Thought Park. Okay, that's a punishment. I don't know if that's him. It really, it didn't even fit the crime. The crime was really bad.

But yeah, it turned out he really did hate roller coasters. And so that wasn't actually very enjoyable for me afterwards because he was like quite upset. Fucking hell. Wow. I cannot underestimate how bad what he did was um so someone I love reacts positively to something I've accomplished I'm just gonna have to say that because of um yeah I think that's a really big thing as well because I think some people hate

when their partners do well they find it really difficult and I think that people hate it when their partners do well. They find it really difficult. And I think that just makes everything really sad and hard. Yeah, I think especially in our industry, I think that's a problem that's there. And I don't think I've really had that in my marriage. We just were very... I always wanted him to be doing really well. And if one of us was doing well, it would cover the mortgage.

So I really don't understand why somebody isn't positive for the other person or like excited by their success like yeah it's so weird how someone can see someone like taking that away from them but yeah it is a really big thing I love being really like proud of the person yeah me too oh my god you're so brilliant I know I can't believe you did that that's amazing it's so attractive yeah even if it's not even that bit you're just like you did like oh my god yeah you're excited or you're proud of something like I love to be proud for them and also I don't want someone to do something for me that they don't enjoy like I don't actually enjoy forcing them to do anything like I know I want gifts but only if they want to get me gifts you know what I mean I don't want them being like oh god I'm at the airport what do you want you know

I want them to be like oh like excited about that like yeah so I think we both react positively to something but then I don't know if I need it about what I've accomplished I don't think either of these I particularly need actually but we have to pick one okay it's more meaningful to me when I'm able to be in close physical proximity yeah yeah close physical proximity to someone I love I send someone I love showing interest in the things I care about oh they're both good they're both good I do like I think it's for me it's um showing interest in the things I care about yeah I think especially now thinking that like I have a daughter or whatever like I would obviously want them to be um yeah very interested in her and also if someone's like interested in like coming to I wouldn't want someone to come to my shows all the time but it's like interested in it I can't it's

like very difficult now to think of because my ex was a comedian to think of having a relationship where they're not interested in it I guess because it's so much of our lives maybe that is healthier but you'd want them to be like a bit of interest just interested in what you're up to so it's like oh come to this but not be like oh can I come meet this person backstage no or not be interested at all you just want want them to be like, well, even if you were a swimmer or a gardener, I'd want to come and cheer you on. Yeah, I'd love to cheer on a gardener. I'd love to cheer on a gardener. Go on, get that boat planted.

Trim that bush. Trim that bush. Yeah, I like that. Is it ham? It's more meaningful to me when I'm complimented by someone I love on my appearance Someone I love

takes the time to listen to me and really understand my feelings It has to be the second feeling It's gotta be the feelings You have to assume that they like your appearance

Yeah Or at least don't mind it Yeah Because by this way it's someone I love. Like, oh yeah. If you love them,

then suddenly they're like, no, actually quite like, actually quite like your face. You're quite fit actually. Yeah. Then you're like, well,

I mean, yeah, I want to be understood. Please somebody, please someone just listen to me. Just for a minute, why are you giving me a gift? Just listen.

Okay. It's more meaningful to me when someone I love does something special to help me out. giving me a gift just listen okay it's more meaningful to me when someone I love does something special to help me out I get a gift that someone I love put thought into choosing

does something to help me out I think really yeah even though you love thoughtful gifts I do

but I think life is hard and anything they can do to make it easier is um but remember this is a love language it's not just a butler a butler a butler

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um no but I think that's it like I do see the relationship as like a team thing and I like doing things to that for them to help them and like they do things for me and sometimes that team is like not quite even you know like I have this with friends as well like if we go traveling like I'll organize one thing they'll organize the other thing and like you kind of like oh like they can't do one thing so I'll like pick up that thing and like I really like that dynamic where you're both kind of helping each other and like making it fun and you're both part of it and I think very often it becomes like one person is just doing more and more and more and the other person is doing less and less yeah and I don't find that very attractive

yeah I think that's really fair I think I'm gonna go on this occasion for the gift one you know put thought into choosing like that is lovely it's such a lovely idea I think that's really fair. I think I'm going to go on this occasion for the gift one, you know? Put thought into choosing, like... That is lovely. It's such a lovely idea. I think that's really nice. What a lovely idea. What a lovely idea. What a lovely imagined idea that someone has put thought into something.

Yes, yes. This is actually quite painful, isn't it? Because it's like, God, imagine if there was a guy out there who was just wanting to do all these things. And that's something my dad is so good with my mum. Oh, really? He's really good. And actually, my ex got like much better at it and he'd like it was good at like listening to me with that because um I don't know if you've had any birthdays or Christmas

and if something doesn't get you something or doesn't put any thought into it it can feel very humiliating or it's like it can feel like they really don't care yeah and I think it's it's often like what they're going through a reflection of them but I definitely in past relationships have had like a birthday where they didn't get you a through or a reflection of them. But I definitely in past relationships have had like a birthday where they didn't get you a card or anything. And like it just feels, I guess it's like past like trauma of that where it just feels like, oh, but I thought you love me. And why wouldn't you buy a card, make a card,

do something to make me feel that you love me? Yeah, definitely. And when you know that you would go like above and beyond. Yes. Yeah. The balloons are coming you're getting ready for your birthday like your birthday's

I'm really gonna like put thought into it and do it but you can't put any thought just anything and I think sometimes they get a bit overwhelmed

with it and they're like oh I don't know what to do and they're thinking about stuff like I've definitely had exes like tell me things

they thought about getting me I did go I did have a look at this thing. I did think I might get that. But you didn't. No, I didn't. But I did think about it. I did have a little think about it. And you just, I don't know, it can just feel a bit deflating. I think it's not actually about the gift. It's that somebody is like, oh, you're worth a few minutes of my time to think about what you like and what would make you happy yeah and you want to feel

special yeah it's not about money I don't need anything fancy it's not about that it's just about somebody thinking about you and caring about you and just like being like oh you're on my mind oh my god exactly one of the best gifts I ever got was a stern I'm just gonna leave it there actually Exactly. One of the best gifts I ever got was a stone. I'm just going to leave it there, actually. Oh, my God. I've still got it as well. That's the harrowing thing.

Moved it yourself. He's given me the best talk. It's a big stone as well, let me tell you. Yeah, I hope you put that stone on your back don't worry we just gotta get fingered by pancake day it's more meaningful to me when someone I love

doesn't check their phone while we're talking to each other someone I love goes out of their way to do something that relieves pressure on me oh pressure yeah mine is pressure oh what look at your phone not bothered yeah I don't care I'm looking at my phone I'm looking at my phone I won't see you looking at your phone because I'm looking at my phone don't worry about that it's more meaningful to me when I can look forward to a holiday because

I'll probably get a gift from someone I love. Or I hear the words, I appreciate you from someone I love. Fuck off. I don't need I appreciate you. I don't need it. I guess this is an American site. So holiday, I guess it's saying like Christmas or Thanksgiving. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's like, plan me a holiday. I mean, if you want to get me a gift, that's the ultimate. Oh my God, that would be the one. But if it's like, I look forward to Christmas so I can get a gift off you, or you say I appreciate you. Neither of them are like... Neither of them are super exciting. But I think at Christmas,

if someone gets you something that you like, even like if you kind of have to tell somebody kind of what you like, but then they go out and they buy, I don't know if it's like... Yeah, sweet. It's just like, it's just sweet. Yeah.

It's more meaningful to me when someone I love doesn't interrupt me while I'm talking. Gift giving is an important part of the relationship with someone I love. Gift giving is an important part of the relationship with someone I love. Dick. Talk over me. I don't care. Give me that ring.

Oh, I mean, again, neither are sort of like hmm doesn't interrupt while I'm talking I mean that is that is rude because I guess I have I can be a bit interrupt-y

like not on purpose but I do understand the interruption like if it's from a point of like enthusiasm yeah that's it I'm really bad for like

jumping in to be like oh I get that yeah I want to validate your point yeah so it's more meaningful to me. Yeah.

I don't mind if they interrupt so much. So I guess the gifting. Harriet, I've put a dog with tits on my profile. It's more meaningful to me when someone I love helps me out when they know I'm already tired. Yep. I get to go somewhere while spending time with someone I love. Oh, I love both of them.

Both of these are lovely. They're lovely. Yeah. Oh, I was just while spending time with someone I love. Oh, I love both of them. Both of these are lovely. They're lovely. Yeah. Oh, I was just imagining going somewhere with someone at Christmas. Oh, darn, I'm going to cry. Amy, let's go somewhere. We've got to go somewhere. I love you. Let's go somewhere together. Let's go to a Christmas market.

Oh, let's go ice skating at a Christmas market. Okay, great. Okay, great. Okay, great. Someone I love helps me out when they know I'm really tired. Like that is just like, the thing is, it feels like that's like something

that is just like a helpful, like fundamental relationship thing. And the other one is like an icing on the cake. Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's more special. They're both kind of crucial in a relationship, I think.

Yeah. That you get to go somewhere and have an adventure with someone you love, but also that they're going to help you when they're tired. So I don't want to pick, I want both of these, but I'm going to go with the go somewhere and have an adventure with someone you love but also that they're going to help you when they're tired so i don't want to pick i want both of these but i'm going to go with the go somewhere while spending time with someone i think i think me too because i think you need

that otherwise the other one sounds a bit like um drudgery a bit drudgery yeah it's so nice and if i was really tired and they did something really thoughtful i would cry my eyes out yeah and be like oh my god that would make me more tired But yeah, I'd be crying because I was tired. So, yeah. It's more meaningful to me when someone I love says something encouraging to me. I get to spend time in a shared activity or hobby with someone I love.

I like that activity or hobby. I think me too. Yeah, the encouraging is a bit like, go on, go. Go on, go. You can move all that stuff yourself. Go on, go. Be stronger than you think. Go on, go. Go on, girl. You can move all that stuff yourself. Go on, girl. Be stronger than you think. Go on, girl.

Get out of there. You can do anything you put your mind to. Get that big stone. Get it on your back. Go on. You got this. Anyway, I'm just going to have a little sit down. Yeah, I can see out the window.

You got this. Just be watching YouTube videos, if that's all right. Yeah, don't worry about me. So, can you be a bit quieter? I'm just encouraging you to be a little bit quieter while you live that stunk. Because I am trying to enjoy these YouTube videos, actually. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Fucking hell.

Let's just click on the activity and move on quickly. It's more meaningful to me when I get a hug from someone whom i haven't seen in a while or i hear someone i love tell me how much i mean to him her why haven't you seen them in a while what are they doing yeah why why have they stayed away they've been dating other people it's going to be b yep 100 another one with a fish the results are in your primary love language for me is

it's quality time that's lovely what a good person you are that reflects really well on you Amy and we now have to end the podcast

we've run out of time unfortunately before we find out what mine is what's your one? acts of service acts of service. Acts of service. Well, that's number two for me. What's number two for you?

Gifts. Gifts, yes. We were both right. Then mine's physical touch. Then gifts. And words of affirmation is right at the bottom. Yeah, you've had that. I don't need to hear your bullshit. I don't want your pep talks. I want your actions.

Fuck your pep talks. I want your actions. Fuck your pep talks. It's said about receiving gifts. Don't mistake this love language for materialism, guys. Everybody listening, let's not think that. They thrive on love, thoughtfulness and the effort behind the gift. That's lovely. It makes you feel cared for. And yeah, this is exactly it.

A missed birthday, anniversary or a hasty,less gift and makes the person seem feel like they're not loved basically and that is that is how i feel and actions for you this is an acts of service speak louder than words and that is true there you go so it's about action and it communicates that you are their top priority yeah i am oh that's lovely yeah quality time mine just says you are creepy you need a dog you lonely old pervert get a dog leave them alone

no it says your love tank overflows with quality time you prize undivided attention from others spending meaningful

and I can't say meaningful spending meaningful and uninterrupted time together profoundly impacts your emotional world. I just love to take them away from their friends and family. I just keep them to myself, they're mine. I just want a man who I keep in a cellar, who I just, I know where he is,

I can be close to him whenever I want, and he's always there that's beautiful man is that so rough yeah that's lovely and he doesn't speak obviously I don't need any words of affirmation

he's a silent man who I cuddle yeah and just close it is a dog it is a dog it does sound like you're describing a dog

it's a non-talking cuddle machine yeah that's all I want, guys. Whether it's in deep conversations or sharing experiences together with a loved one who is fully present and engaged, quality time conveys that you are a top priority and deeply loved. We both just want to be top priority. Yeah, that's it.

There you go. Well. Well. I don't know if we've come across as likeable. You've responded honestly. Yeah. Well, mine says quality time 30%. Mine, acts of service is 33%.

Okay. So, I mean, yeah, a third. But I think it's a helpful thing because then it's like, oh, like if I'm dating you, then I know that now and again I need to just turn my phone off and tell my friends and family I'm going to be out of town for a while and that's going to make you happy and feel loved, you know. I don't feel loved until a missing persons report has been filed on the person I'm dating.

Exactly. But I think these things are helpful because otherwise you're like, you feel like you're going crazy. Like before we had these, like me and my exes, like you felt like you were going crazy. Because you're like, I'm saying I need this. And they're saying, I'm saying I need this. But no one's actually like really can explain it properly. I think it's helpful. Whereas now you feel like a bit of a cunt

but you have to be like, you know, my love language is acts of service. So if you're not going to do it, then it makes me feel like you don't love me. Do you know what his love language was? His was physical touch and quality time. So yeah, actually really nice ones, you know. Well, we've really learned a lot yes yes and encourage everyone

who's listening to it yeah to do it fill it in and let us know what your love languages are yeah it's made me think differently about because again I think we've said this before I assume that everyone else feels the same yeah so like for you with with your ex-partner if he wasn't fulfilling stuff I'd be like well that's because you don't like me but you're right it's just because it's that's not how he expressed it and it's also how you express yourself to other people so you're like hanging around with people and you're around them and you're like isn't this enough I'm here all the time like don't you feel love like I'm here what do you mean you feel suffocated how can you feel what just because I'm here all the time, very close to you?

I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying anything. How can that be suffocating? Whereas I'm like, I got your flapjack. And they're like, what? Oh. Yeah, we're learning. We're growing.

It's all going to work out in the end, I think. Well, if anyone is listening who is single and also a task rabbit person who likes to spend a lot of time in basements. In basements. I'm very close to me doing DIY. Send us a message. Amy's available.

Yeah. Well, you like acts of service and gifts. So if you're a delivery driver in the area who doesn't mind bending the rules and just giving the parcels immediately to Harriet, get in touch. Give me a call. Hello, me again, Amy Gledhill, but this time I'm with... Not Harriet Kemsley. Whoa, WT, fuck!

What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Off at Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast that's not about the news. Don't worry, single ladies. No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single. No.

It's about the North, and's not about being single it's about the North and all of our stories are about couples That is not the truth Ian No, not technically true. It's weird stuff, it's funny stuff that's going on up North that we're reporting back on. Things like

pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in bath mat. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Knappett, Ed Gamble and Ross Noble, who joined us in the studio. Woo-hoo! Yeah.

So that's Northern News, starting next Thursday, the 1st of May, and then every Thursday after that. Join us.