Single Ladies In Your Area - Worst things you’ve seen on the dating apps, and telling us your icks (Live at the Bill Murray)

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

This week’s episode is a special live recording of the podcast, coming to you from the Bill Murray in London. Harriet and Amy get to meet fellow single ladies in REAL LIFE and hear your dating horror stories, so we all feel less alone! To hear Amy's story that we couldn't possibly keep in the edit, sign up to our Patreon at patreon.com/SingleLadiesInYourArea.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodRecorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Amy Gleddhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our thirties. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down. But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts, chat about dates we've been on. If we manage to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone. We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Hello. Hello there. Well, well, well, we've got a hell of an episode today. This was really

fun. It was our first ever live show. It was so fun. It was a weird thing where before we went on, I was like, I don't feel nervous and I feel like I should. I don't know why I don't feel, because we're not prepared really in any way. We just seem to go places and just talk. And then once you've been doing that on a podcast, you're like, no, you don't know if people are actually laughing or anything. We just have to hope and pray. But then it's like, oh, we're actually going to see in real time whether people are responding or not. And like, oh, we could go on and everyone's just kind of nodding very seriously at us. And then we're like, oh, fuck, we've completely

misjudged everything. Also, it was like, we got to meet you. Like, we got to see what our audience looks like. And they're great. Fucking hot. Yeah. Fucking hot. Smoke shows. Yeah.

Really good. Good sense of humor. Yes. G-S-O-H. So, yeah, this was our live show. It was on Valentine's Day. It was such a great Valentine's Day. Yeah, it really was. It really was a great way to spend show. It was on Valentine's Day. It was such a great Valentine's Day. It really was.

It really was a great way to spend it. It was so nice. And it was at the Bill Murray. Which we love, great comedy club. If you're looking for a comedy club in London, really recommend checking out the Bill Murray. Yeah. Angel comedy. They are an angel.

Angels. Yes, angels to us. Angels to us. So we're going to play you the episode. What I will say is I was giddy. I got a little bit giddy during the live show. I relaxed too much. I had had some rosé. And what transpired because of that is I told a story.

A wild, wild story. As you were telling it, I was like, I can't believe she's telling this story. It was so fun. But I was like, is this, should we have checked this before? Yes, we hadn't planned to say this. I've never told anyone this. And I'm very relaxed telling this story. It's very rude. It's very funny. It's very funny. And what we have decided since is it does need to be chopped out of the episode for a few reasons really, but we are going to put it on Patreon. Yes, for our trusted Patreon.

Because we know, we know you get it. People might be listening here that are looking for information, but not our Patreon. Yeah. And if they want the information enough that they subscribe to our Patreon, they can have the information. Fair enough. They can have it. But yeah, I just didn't want this story falling into the wrong hands. So we've snipped that out. It is on Patreon. There might be some references to it because we call back to it a lot because it was shocking. Yeah, we really, this story really overtook the recording. It was hard not to mention

it repeatedly. So if there are any sort of little references. Just remembering the story. Oh, God. I really recommend you subscribe to Patreon just for this story. Freaking hell. Yeah, if there are any references or things that sound like callbacks and you're like, I don't really understand what that's from.

Oh, it'll be from the story. Trust me. There is one quote in particular that is harrowing and producer Anya messaged me and just said, just checking the story involving this quote and said the quote, is that okay for the app or is it just Patreon? And I read the quote and was like, just Patreon, fuck, fucking hell. I'm going to say the quote now, maybe we beep it out, but just to remind Harriet, it was a... I can't believe I said that to a room of people. So that's snippity snip snip snip, but there's also still loads of-

Let us know what you think the quote is, after you've lived through the episode. I tell you what, we'll keep in. So the start of the quote is, using one man's, you finish off what you think that quote is. Go to Patreon to finish the story. Oh my Lord. But there's still loads of good stuff in the episode. We had such a blast.

Yeah, we really did. It was so fun. And there was only things we planned that we didn't even get to. We were just like, oh, yeah, I really want to do another one. It was great. Yeah, it can't work. So we were like, oh, let's have like these as talking points. I think we got to bullet point one. Then I got... And then we told the story. Nana's had a rose there. Sit down, it's story time. Let me tell you girls. Let me tell you a tale.

That was in my period when I was like completely cyber, just like dealing with stuff. And I was like, oh wow. You'd stop drinking and I was drinking way more. I'd taken on your alcohol intake for that period. So I don't know what happened there. But yeah, wow. It was great. Okay. Well, I really hope you enjoy it. And yeah, get over to Patreon to hear the real story. It's totally fine if you don't and you never hear that story. That's fine by me. I really recommend you do.

And if you do, you still have to look me in the eye. And if we're friends, you still have to be my friend. Yeah. Oh, they'll want to be your friend more. Yeah. She's a good time girl. Local legend. Okay, great. Thank you. Enjoy. No. No. No. God, great. Thank you. Enjoy. No, no, no, god no. Hi everybody.

Thank you so much for coming. Oh, aren't you close? Aren't you close in real life? Wow, hi. So many ladies. And you, and you, and you. This is great, we got three of them. Hi. Give us, and you, and you. This is great, we've got three of them. Hi.

Give us a cheer for single. Woo. Was that a grunt from over here? Oh. Very canny of the single men, by the way, to come here this evening to a room full of single ladies. That actually takes a lot of foresight. I respect it. It's planning, we like a planner. That actually takes a lot of foresight. I respect it.

It's planning. We like a planner. Yes. Yes. Or opportunistic. Yeah, one or the other. Very good. Give us a cheer if you're in a relationship.

Okay. We've got to do it. Is anyone here with their partner? Give us a cheer. Oh, I love that. I think it's brave to cheer in a room full of angry women! We can take you all in! Good for you, thanks for coming!

So, we're here to celebrate how fun it is to be dating. Isn't it hard? Isn't it hard and horrible? I don't know how you're doing it wrong, clearly, because I'm a walking success. Shall we? So we've asked you some questions. You've written some, I'm going to say, incredible answers, actually. Should we dive into some of these?

Yes, it's really nice. I like just hearing, I think everyone has like, it's so hard and horrific, like all this dating stuff, but everyone has fun stories. Like I think every single person has a thing where they're like, this is so painful and horrible, but this is gonna be a fun thing to tell people afterwards. And that's what this is, you know?

Safety in numbers. Okay, so the prompt I've got is, what's the worst thing you've seen on a dating app? Oh, there's some absolute horror shows out there, isn't there? I think one of my worst things is when they're like cuddly with their mom. Have you seen, you know what I mean? Like they're like, this is my mom, she looks pretty good for 50. Have you ever seen that?

I find it so weird. I'm like, why are you boasting about that? Because you're not also going gonna age like your mom. Like if it's like your dad, then it would make sense for being like, this is what I'll look like when I'm 50 or whatever. And then they're like, they're so close. They're like, I like women.

I'm their one. It can't be all bad. She's letting me touch her. Come on, mom. Fit mom. Fit mom is such a weird, their handle is like, fit mom 95. Want to come over and meet my fit mom. Yeah, I would say somebody said their mom was fit. If a guy said his mom was fit, not

be funny, I would say that's one of the biggest red flags I've ever heard of. Do you think? To be fair, his mom was fit. What are you gonna do? I had an ex who, his sister was outrageously fit. Like she was, she was one of the fittest women I've ever seen. But like, if you met her and then I'd have said to him,

oh my God, your sister is so beautiful. And we chatted, that would be fine. But like months before I'd met her, he was just talking about how fit his sister was. And I was like, oh yeah, that's cool. And he was just like, seriously, like, she's so like fit. Everyone thinks so and everyone wants to sleep with her. And I'm like, and you?

Do you what's, what's happening here? I mean, you have to comment on it when you see it because she was that, like she was that fit. It was outrageous. She was so fit. We've got a weird like incest kind of theme that's started from this so far. We need to move away from family members.

Right. Okay. Is it ham? Worse thing you've seen on a dating app, so we've got one here from Anonymous. I'm looking for prompt, we know that prompt, and somebody put answer, a miracle aka a woman that isn't bat shit crazy. Oh my God. A miracle, aka a woman that isn't batshit crazy. Oh my god! Fuck! Imagine his inbox. His inbox just be full of fury.

And one or two pick me girls be like, oh my god, I'm not batshit crazy. And then the batshit crazy ones. If you put this prompt, you're only gonna attract Batshit Crazy ladies. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine responding, I'm not batshit crazy. That's batshit crazy. Nothing to see here, I'm not batshit at all. Do do do.

Oh, just you wait, mate. It's coming. Wessing's here on our Dating App. A man with actual horns. She's coming. What's the thing you're not dating up? A man with actual horns. This is crazy because we were talking about this today and we were saying, would you date someone with horns? It's just, it's like, yeah, real horns. You're thinking like the joke kind of horns.

Is that worse? Would we rather date someone with actual horns or someone that goes around with joke shop horns? I'm going to say real horns. Because they can't help it, they've got horns. Oh, but they just go on to sing. I'm so unpicky. I can't believe I'm still singing. I'm like, I would date a man who had actual horns.

I don't mind. I don't mind. What are you saying? And then I did say, if I had to fuck a mystical creature, it would probably be the devil. You'd have good sex with the devil wouldn't you? Yeah we were saying he'd be a good f**k. He would of all of all the mythical creatures everyone what are you gonna do cupid? I don't think so. Oh no he's a baby famously. I thought he was a little old man. I don't know. The images are so old. Am I thinking of cherubs?

I don't know. I thought cherubs were little old men. I'm not. A man with actual horns, not the horn, good to clarify, a pair of horns and then they've put very sweetly, body modification, not a grove. They've made this choice. This isn't, they weren't born with it. That's fine. They've made this choice. They weren't born with it. That's fine.

They've chosen. Yeah, I think a man who chooses horns. One is unfortunate, but two. How did we get two? What's the worst thing you've seen on a dating app? What hinge considers my perfect match? And then a little sad face. Why is it always so hurtful?

Like you look at it and you think, Inge, what did I ever do to you? Like, I don't understand. This is what you think I deserve? Do you know what I get sort of recommended a lot? I don't know if it's like something I've put or horns. And with horns. I would describe them as the sort of man that you'd see in Las Vegas.

I would say about 60 years old. My age bracket doesn't go up there, so I don't know why. It's like a sort of six-year-old sort of leathery tanned man, sort of gray chest hair, a bright shirt and definitely riddled with sexually transmitted diseases. But from the 70s when it was classic. That's what I get. What do you get? I just get like a lot of people that look like they're kind of tourists. They're always like, looking a bit lost, but like trying to look happy in front of a beautiful location. I don't know, like.

Are you looking at like missing photos? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm missing my love. I'm trying to find them. I'm looking at the posters. Worst thing you've seen on a dating app? My ex. Oh, of course he is. Oh god. That's

hard. I've not seen that yet. I haven't seen that. I've had people message me and say that they've seen mine. Unhelpful. I would say. I don't need to know every time. Would you be interested in seeing what they've put in their bio? Imagine if Hinge says they're my perfect match. I would just divorce. I've made a big financial mistake here. No, I don't want to know what he puts in his bio. I absolutely don't want to know. No. Don't you be interested.

Nope. Nope. Nobody tell me I don't want to know. No. No. No. Would you be? Yeah, don't want to know. No, no, no. No, don't show me. Would you be?

Yeah, I'd love to know. Imagine if you could correct it like Wikipedia. Where you going like, nope, none of that. Not a variable source. Variable, variable. That would be so good if your ex, well, maybe it wouldn't be good for this side of it, but if you could go on and alter all your exes,

all your exes could go on your profiles and change it. No, it's bad actually. No, no, no, I'm saying it out loud, very bad actually, but fun for us to do for them. Yeah, mine would fuck with mine so much. It'd be like every day, it would just be like a, you don't need that. I've got one, it says,

what's the worst thing you've seen on the app? I think this is what somebody's done maybe. They complimented the dog and the dog had died very recently. Oh. Why are you putting the dog, like, you know what I mean? Why is your dead dog on your profile? Fit dead dog.

That's so weird though to be like, that's a cute dog. That's so weird though to be like, that's a cute dog. He's dead actually. Do you mind? Why have you brought that up? Oh my God. Okay. Worst thing we've seen on an app is from Laura. A man with the handle, cheerful cock-giver, but he wasn't even smiling in his photos.

He's just crying one single tear and an erected penis in his hand. Imagine going like, okay, what really describes me? Okay, cock-gver, I suppose. Is that too aggressive? Should I soften it with an adjective? Happy cock giver, no. Kind cock giver, no, no, no. We need alliteration.

Cheerful cock giver, but I've never smiled in a photo. I don't think he's giving his cock as much as he thinks either, do you? No, no. Cheerful, miserable cock holder. Doesn't have the same ring to it. Laura, did you match? You didn't match.

You didn't match with that, but he's cheerful. No. I love that. If he'd been smiling. He's's cheerful. I love that. If he'd been smiling, maybe. Yeah. Harriet, I've put a dog with tits on my profile. Photo of feet and hinge prompt. I'm looking for a foot focused relationship. I think anything you have absolutely fine. I wouldn't say it's focused relationship. I think anything you have absolutely fine.

I wouldn't say it's a relationship. You'd hope for a bit more in a relationship than just feet. The two feet meet up and the body is just like, hello, hello. You'll do them so nice this evening. Where are you going, little piggies? Market. Oh, this is brilliant, just two words, very concise. Where's the thing for you to put that up? Bear arse! Bear arse! I don't think you're allowed to put that up, not that I've tried but I didn't think you were

allowed to put that up. Are you? Yeah it, but I didn't think you were allowed to put that. Are you? Yeah, it gets taken down within 12 hours. Let me tell you. Would you go on Naked Attraction? No. No, obviously not. Why would you? No.

I do think, like, has everyone seen Naked Attraction? Unfortunately. I think it's like, I've been on it. I started watching it in like a sort of sniggering way, like, oh my God. I actually think that it. I started watching it in a sort of sniggering way, like, oh my God. I actually think that it's one of the most progressive shows on TV. There's women on there and men on there who have, I would say, not conventionally attractive bodies that you are used to seeing on TV.

And they're going on there naked because they think that their weird balls or strange knees are so attractive that they will be selected. And I think that's fantastic. But society puts them in their place because they're never picked. That's progression for society. Yeah, you put it like that, it doesn't undermine my argument, but I think it's sort of like almost body positive. You wonder if there might be a certain

freak show element behind it, you know what I mean? Like the producers are like, oh yeah, we've got a weird pussy, let's get her on. You know what I mean? Look how long this vagina is, get her on. This one's square, I've never seen it, get her on. We think you're so brave. Hehehehehe, this going to make good money.

I think the presenter should have to also be naked though, because I think it's weird. You know when there's two naked people and then a presenter fully clothed. Yeah, but they'd have the most perfect body. Yeah. Maybe we should present it. That's rude, Amy. But yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's a good idea. Maybe we should present it. That's rude, Amy. Absolutely. I think we should.

I think we'd get the giggles so too much and I get a bit squeamish. If I see a penis, I'd be like, eee. Like you've seen a mouse. Oh, look, oh, look, oh, look. He's looking at me. You have to be very cool about it. Yeah. Yeah, just another one. Another.

Is that what you say when you see a cock? Just another one, yeah. Oh, just another one. I'm not bothered. Boring. You would get a bit jaded, I guess, by the end. Do you think? Yeah, maybe just that no penis is exciting anymore.

Can I ask you a bit of a personal question? Oh, please. Just thinking about how you said that you'd scream if you saw a willy. Are you about to break one out? Here's one I cut off earlier. Are you excited about the next time you see Willie? Or how do you feel about it?

Or are you like... We did not vet these questions before we started the show. I'm vibing, I'm vibing. How excited am I on a scale of one to 10 for the next penis that I'd see? I think it depends on the penis, Amy. It depends if I've asked it over. Yeah, if it's like, surprise! No, there's... It's safe and consensual and you want to see the willy.

Or, no, imagine you want to see the willy. Or no, imagine you're with, you have to really use your imagination. Imagine you're with a boy that you like and it's going really well. You still with me? You're doing some kissing, yeah. Lovely stuff. And then you go, oh, maybe now I'll look at the willy.

I haven't had sex for so long. I can't remember, is this what you do? Do you say these things out loud? You're using this book as like dirty talk. You're just like, with your sink little stories, Amy. And now I'll look at the willy. Amy, are you trying to say you're very excited? No, I'm saying I don't know how I feel about it.

Like, I feel like, sort of sick. Like, the idea of seeing one, like, right there. Used to be like, oh yeah, now I'm a bit like, oh God, has it been washed? Where's it been? Yes, I think a lot more about what it's been and what it's seen. It's like going organic or whatever.

I wanted to have lived a good free range life. I want an organic penis that has been raised right. Yeah, I feel nervous about it though. Did you think when you were 13 years old that you would be saying things like this as a woman in her mid-30s. No, because when I was 13, I think I was more sexually active than I am now.

I know, we've just completely reversed, it's crazy. Honestly. Does anyone else feel like that? Oh for fuck's sake, everybody, we're the only ones, okay, you did thank me, I appreciate it. Because we were like, with podcasts, we were like, it's always like so many like, really sexually confident women that are hosting the podcast.

They're like, I went on this day and I said, fuck you, see you later, but fucked him in the cupboard. And then I fucked this other one in the cupboard. And like, I love that, but. We are so, fuck off, and then I fucked him in the cupboard. That's powerful to tell him to fuck off first and then fuck him. Wow, mind games. Hey you, I'm not interested in them to fuck off first and then fuck them. Wow mind games

Hey you But at 14.15, look at me go. Busy cupboard. Any day of the week. It was easy back then. You've got to get in there and sniff them. We want to do icks. Icky red flags. Icky little red flags.

We know they're different. We know they're different. A man riding a bike which has handlebars that are too high. The handlebars are too high and the bike is too small. And the knees are probably touching his face. That's great. Yeah, that's good. That's a hell of an ick.

At least he can ride a bike though. At least he's got a bike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Capital letters, men who live on canal boats. Barry that runs this place lives on a canal boat. So maybe Barry hates himself. That's so sad. No, like, yeah, I think he doesn't anymore. Yeah, I think it's a hard life on a canal boat.

Hard life. It's a hard life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like, I life on a canal boat. Hard life, it's a hard life. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like, I don't like the, you know. It's what? Oh, the rocking. The rocking, yeah, yeah. Oh, I wouldn't mind that. Oh.

I don't like the, you're enclosed. You're too tight, it's too tight. You're in a funnel. Yeah. You're like, let me out. So you'd be put off if someone was in a canal boat? No, I wouldn't be put off by anything. I'd give it a go.

A paper diary and not a journal, just a diary with dates in it. Oh, I know someone who does that. What does that mean? Like a diary, like a... Like a diary. Like a diary, have you ever had a diary? Yeah. With like the days of the weekend and you write down, wait, do we think it's to write down what's happened

or what's going to happen? I think it's to write down what's gonna happen. Oh, you hate an organized man planning his life. Ugh, disgusting. Rejected. Can we reject them? Yeah, of course. No, your feelings are valid. Your feelings are valid. It we reject them? Yeah, of course. No, your feelings are valid.

It should be like room 101. We should have things that are going in the Ick Bin. Ick Bin, I'm Berliner. I think that's the smartest thing I've ever said. We should have the Ick Bin. Yeah, we've got the bike and the canal boat. Yeah, they're in the Ick bin. What? Yeah, we've got the bike and the, and the canal boat, yeah. They're in the Ick bin. Using the word boobies. That's really fun.

Do you use the word boobies? You don't? Does he use the word boobies? Does he use the word boobies? No. Get out. Yeah, I think that's bad. But what if it's like in a sexy context?

It's no sexy way. No, it's no. No, sure. But what if it's not in a sexy way? What do you... Like a medical term? If your GP's saying boobies. I'm just going to need to do a little examination on your boobies.

A bit of fun. But yeah, you think an ick? Yeah. Well, let's put it to... Do you think that's an ick? Yes. Right, okay. Fucking hell.

I stunk. I was gonna cheer. It was like so matter of fact. Yes. Yes, absolutely. Obviously it's an ick. I saw a man order an apple juice with dinner at a restaurant. Ick, ick, ick, ick.

How dare he actually? That's an ick. That's an ick, yeah. This one's from Danny. When someone drops something on the floor and has to do a little jog to pick it back up as it blows away. Gross. And it is the jog, isn't it?

Because it's like a performative jog where you go, oh, I just... Yeah, but also sometimes it starts going away in the wind a bit more, so they had to jog a bit more because it's like, and they're trying to act cool, but they're like, no, I do actually have to really get to it now. It's really blowing away. But we've all been there. Yeah, I've been the jogger and the joggy. I've been the Ick.

What, my mamma's been chasing you. To pick you up. I've been trying to blow away. Are we putting that in the Ick bin? Yeah. Oh wait, but not everybody. Who thinks it shouldn't go in the Ick bin? No.

Oh, a lady who likes to chase. That's really interesting. Well, I'm not putting it in the Ick bin. No. Oh, a lady who likes to chase. That would be interesting. Well, I'm not putting an Ick bin in. Denim shorts in December. Think Top Man circa 2005, kind of skinny with a little bit of a roll-up. Yeah, I hate them shorts. I fucking hate them shorts.

Hated, boo. And if they're not wearing, if they imagine them with shoes, I would be sick on myself. Oh, better with bare feet in December. Yeah, it's on a canal boat. What of it? When a man's umbrella blows inside out.

Yeah, it's so upsetting when that happens. It's, why, but why are umbrellas so bad? They're like cock blockers, aren't they? Like you can't, it's so hard to be sort of sexy and elegant with an umbrella. But why aren't they better? Like I need to just change the subject for a minute and just focus.

Umbrellas or men. You need to make better umbrellas. Oh yeah, amen. Amen. My ex has an Instagram for his dog and writes things like, Daddy taking me for walkies. She's written VOM. Daddy taking me for walkies.

Look out boobies. Yeah, that is hard. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, your dog has no choice in this situation. Your poor dog is trapped. Horrible. RSPCA, give him a call. This one feels very specific about a specific person. Holly.

Not being able or willing to snorkel. Oh, enjoy the ocean from within the water. This feels like there's one specific person has done you wrong, Holly. She's got her snorkel, she's ready to go. Is that an ick or is that specific person? Holly's reached her wits end. Well, I'm too scared to snorkel. Oh, you are ick. I am ick. Hello, I'm too scared to snorkel. Oh, you are ick.

I am ick. Hello, I am ick. I can't snorkel because I have a nasal infection if I go underwater. Yeah. Shoelaces pulled too tight, clown shoe. Oh, safe shoes that aren't gonna, you're not gonna trip over your own shoes.

I think actually I have the opposite ick is when shoelaces are undone because it just makes me want to do up their shoelaces. And it's like such a horrible feeling. Yeah, like baggy shoes that slop. Yeah, their laces are going everywhere. It's like, get a fucking grip, man, get a job. Get a job.

Get a job. What are you doing? I would love to see you say that to someone on the street. Oh, get a job. He's like, you're in the bank, I'm working right now. I'm a paramedic, I'm here to help you. Get a fucking grip, man. Get a job.

Clown shoes. I love as well that it was like, like so specific like this is tight too tight. Okay fine and then after that clown shoes like start with clown shoes. If a man was wearing clown shoes that's an it. They can't even win because their shoes are too tight or they're not doing well enough, it's gotta be spot on. They can't win. They can't win, they mustn't actually. Also, but Velcro, bigger ick than all of that, right? Yeah. What about those little wheels?

Ick, are you fucking mad? Yeah, I think I just want some of those. Yeah, it'll be good. Imagine kissing someone and going, I think I just want some of that. Imagine kissing someone and going, God, that was the best day of my life. And then they wheel away. Okay, let's do one final one. Okay. People, men who think it's okay to sleep on a mattress with no bottom sheet.

Yes. Are they still doing this? Yes. People, men, who think it's okay to sleep on a mattress with no bottom sheet. Yes! Are they still doing this? Yes. Everybody has an experience. We need to start a support group for women having to sleep on these mattresses with no sheets. How do they do it? I don't know.

They just associate. And then when they say on their app profile, where wifey at? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! And I imagine that's the same man. Like no sheet on his bed, where wifey at? I need my wifey to do my sheety! Where wifey at? Where wifey?

Need sheet bed, where wifey at? The second boy I ever slept with, he had a bed, not to gloat. He had a bed, but the frame had broken. So it was just a mattress on the floor with like a bed frame around it. Is that four-poster bed? It was like a four-poster bed.

Oh, someone's doing all right, actually. Is he a king? No, he wasn't a king. His toilet didn't work, so you had to wee in the bath. I don't know why I'm saying these things out loud, Harriet. These are things I say to you, and then we cut them out. Beep! Sorry, it's too late. Thank you so much, guys. This has been so fun. It's been so fun. It's our first ever live show and we so appreciate you all coming out on Valentine's Day, even

the couples. Thank you. Are you going to go on somewhere nice after this? Yeah, great. Have a lovely time. Thank you for listening. It's been really nice for you to all come out. I love them. Yeah, great. Uh, have a lovely time. Thank you for listening. It's been really nice for you to come out. I hope you've had a nice time.

Amy doesn't want to leave. I don't want to go. Is it because you feel like you've overshared? You know, that feeling where you just have to explain a bit more. You want to give a bit more context to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish you all the best in your dating endeavours.

Yes. If you want to see Willys, I hope you see them. If you don't, I hope you don't. You're in a relationship. Good for you. Thank you so much, everybody. We love you and we so appreciate you coming. Thank you so much. And thank you to Bill Murray and Deplacive.

Bye. We love you and we so appreciate you coming and thank you to Bill Murray and Deplacive. Hello, me again, Amy Gledhill, but this time I'm with... Not Harriet Kemsley. Woah! WT, fuck! What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Offer to Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast that's not about the news. Don't worry single ladies. No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single. No.

It's about the North and all of our stories are about couples. That is not the truth Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff. It's funny stuff that's going on up north that we're reporting back on. Things like pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire Village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in Bathmat.

And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Knappett, Ed Campbell and Ross Noble who joined us in the studio. Woohoo! So that's Northern News starting next Thursday the 1st of May and then every Thursday after that. Join us.