Single Ladies In Your Area - Young love, insecurity and strong male friendships with Jordan Brookes

Episode Date: June 26, 2026

It’s a podcast first this week as we welcome our first Single-Ladies-housemate, comedian and Amy’s resident spider catcher, Jordan Brookes! He shares his perspective on some of Amy’s loves lost, and helps answer questions like: How do you build strong male friendships? Are video games actually good for mental health? And does a primary school crush count as your first serious relationship? (It’s a big NO from Harriet)You can now watch the full video episode over on our Patreon, head to isitham.org.Jordan is taking his brand new show The Part of You That's Always Screaming to Edinburgh Fringe from 5-30 Aug. For tickets head to edfringe.com.Amy's taking her brand new show Thanks For Having Me on tour around the UK from Feb 2027. Tickets are on sale now, just head to plosive.co.uk.And Harriet is going on tour with her brand new stand-up show Floozy this autumn. For tickets and dates head over harrietkemsley.com.We want to hear your dating stories! Email in at [e-mail] Single Ladies In Your Area on Instagram @singleladiespodProduced, recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Assistant Producer is Amy Townsend-Lowcock for Plosive.Artwork by Welcome Studio. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hello, it's Harriet, and I've just come on to let you know that I'm on tour. Later in the year, I'm bringing my show Flusie to you. I'm flusying about the UK. Lots of new shows have been added. Edinburgh, Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham, London, New Date there, and we've added Winchester, Frum, got in trouble for pronouncing that wrong. Frum, Taunton, Leeds, Milton, Keanes, Leicester, Margate, Farnham. And let's not forget, Colchester.

You can get tickets at Harrietkembley.com And I'd love to see you there. Hello, I'm Amy Gledhill. And I'm Harriet Kemsley. We're both single and in our 30s. And we've found ourselves back on the dating scene. And the landscape has changed. Everyone has settled down.

But we're back out there. And we're desperately trying to figure out what the hell we should be doing. So we're going to speak to experts. Chat about dates we've been on. If we managed to get any. And share your tips and horror stories. So we all feel less alone.

We might even get our exes on. Yeah, we'll see about that. This is Single Ladies in Your Area. Yeah, I'm excited for this episode. Hello. Hello. I feel like I just work you up. Fancy to see you here.

You know where you are? No, I'm back in the room. I did that thing where I just thought, I'll just look at my phone very quickly and then do you know when something catches your eye that you don't quite understand? Yes. And then, you know, you know the thing.

Yeah, we know the thing. Yeah, we know the bloody thing. We're business ladies. We're business ladies. Can't stop. Can't stop, won't stop. Won't stop. Need to stop.

Need to stop. Must. Must stop. I'm excited for this episode because it is an insight into your home life. Oh my God, it is. Yeah, we're going to have my wonderful housemate, Jordan Brooks, on. And hopefully it doesn't spill too much information. I'd actually hate to know what he thought of living with me.

Do you know what I mean? He loves it so much. Do you think? Yeah, I really think he would love it so much. But, I mean, we can ask him and I will. Let's get to the bottom of that, shall we? No. He's very patient with me.

I do a lot of like, so currently I put all the clothes in my wardrobe. Not all, 60% of my clothes. Into black bin liners to give to charity. and I booked a charity collection when there's so much they can just come and pick it up and I put it all outside and then the message saying

oh we're not coming until May so currently there's like seven or eight black bin liners of clothes just in the kitchen which I think is a good environment it's like a beanbag it's like a beanbag party

that's fun it's really fun Jordan actually put a video on Instagram the other day which I was going to share and then I saw all the bin bags in the background and I thought I can't share that. But it was so funny.

It was his birthday so it'd gone midnight, it'd become his birthday and I got a video of him you know when you can search by talking into your remote for what you want. It never understands me. It never understands and there's him it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen

for two minutes with no like joy he's just doing it very earnestly going fart on dog prank fart on dog prank fart on dog prank fart on dog prank I really want to show this video fart on dog prank

and eventually we find it and he shows me this video of a guy who goes around the park with a fart machine in his pocket and pretends to fart on other people's dogs and it doesn't sound like it would be funny it's actually the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life

We were dying with laughter. Because he does it so nicely. He goes, hey, can I, can I stroke your dog? And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's friendly. And he gives him a nice stroke. And then he just, like, sort of presents his bum near them. And he goes, brop. And he goes, sometimes they like that.

And the owners are always like, because he's been so nice. They're sort of like baffled. Like, okay. I'm going to send you it. It's so funny. Well, you, head me stoned, would you say when you would. No comment. Yeah.

It was a great night. I'm glad. I'm glad. So we've got our wonderful housemate. Not mine. We've got your wonderful, your wonderful housemate on. Yes. And he's here. He's here.

Please welcome the Jordan Brooks. The Jordan Brooks. It's a match. This is very exciting because we have a podcast first. Go on. A housemate is on the podcast. And it's not mine. It's for.

It's yours. It's my housemate. And fantastic comedian, Jordan Brooks. Woo! Welcome to the studio. You weren't sure if you're going to clap. I wasn't sure. You started and then I can clap yourself on your own.

So then I had to clap. Let's give this going for 45 minutes, guys. Clap himself on. It's so weird because we lived together. Yeah. But this is. our home, the studio. So it's like welcoming my housemate into a

different home. It's your second home. Yeah. This is your studio second home. Thank you for calling this your second home. That makes me feel so happy. And which is your favourite home. Oh. You just need to go to the toilet for a minute. She always says that.

That's her thing. That's actually her favourite home. This is the toilet. So I know that about her. So there we go, Jordan. Jordan is so nice to have you here. Thanks for having me. It's a tree.

You don't have many boys on. So I'm told. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that? You mean so you love. Why do you think it is? You scared of them?

Yeah, we only get the really scary ones on Jordan. Yeah. God, Stephen Bailey, a menace. George Brooks, a monster. Haddie young. Yeah. Is that the kind of thing that gets cut or, yeah, she's writing it down. I want that in.

She's writing that down. I want that in. I want that in. We were saying that, so Jordan, from living with me, you get the other side to a lot of the stories that I've told on the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, for example, on the podcast, on the live podcast, specifically, we told a story of what I did behind a bin, and you have met the man.

You've met the bin. And you've met the bin. And you've seen that bin. I brought that bin. You use that bin every day. Yeah, it's actually a tiny waste basket in my, um, corner of my bedroom. Don't you talk about him like that. Oh, Amy's dead in another waste basket.

It's not going to last. Absolute waste basket of a man. Absolute waste basket of a bin. But she loved him. They're happy. Love is love. If you're happy, you're happy. And to be fair, he's better than some of the ones before.

To be fair. Oh, it's bad, isn't it, when a bin's an upgrade. It's not ideal. But so Jordan's met like, I think just one guy, have you? You say one bin? I've met one bin, yeah. I think so. Yeah.

Yeah. He was very sweet. He was very sweet. He was a sweet boy. He's a sweet boy. But that's not what we want. No. No, we mustn't.

We mustn't. I think it was just where you said we as well. Like it was like the household decision of what we. Our ongoing dialogue, and basically her therapist going, that's not what we want, is it? Do we want that energy in their house? No, I don't think so.

No, I don't want a sweet risk bin. A bin full of rose petals. No. We want it full of knives and use needles, please. I will say as well, it's good to have you both here because you both give different advice. So it would be good to, like, finally clear.

No way, really? Interesting. So, for an example, okay, talking about text messages. So I told Jordan I wanted to send a text message to a man I have a crush on who I was going to see that night saying

should I shave my legs for the night and Jordan was like, yeah dude So one of us gives bad advice and that person is Jordan I just want to clarify the tone yeah it was more like yeah dude yeah dude whatever

it's more like I'm in the middle of something I'm so sick of him about your various questions is that you're going to be a crush in is for Jordan trade his tag yeah yeah Yeah, dude, that's good. Yeah, dude, sounds amazing. And I was like, okay.

But I didn't do it. Then I told Harriet I was going to do it. And Harriet said, no, that's bad. That's bad. So I feel like, what do I know, really, yeah. No, that's not what I was going to. Oh, I thought that. It was just bringing myself down before you did children.

Who am I anyway? Do we even comment on anything? I don't even know. What's the point? Oh, gosh, she's spirally. I can't remember why. No, I said I think it's quite hot. It's quite cool to say that.

Yeah. And if a guy says, oh, that's a hot message, then you're like, well, I want to do you guys. But the argument against it, which I think we did talk ourselves out of it, which I did, I think, at the time, we settled on not doing it ultimately because if he doesn't reply, that is such, that is so, that is going to feel so vulnerable. You're right. So you didn't do it. That is good advice. But we went right. We explored it.

Yeah. Yeah. Jordan's very good. He listens and lets me talk myself out of this terrible idea. And I don't say a word. She just goes. I just stare her until she comes to the right conclusion. I go, yeah, dude.

Yeah, dude. And I just go, no. So if you were to get that message, so say tonight you were going somewhere and you would to get that message and you, it wasn't like, a thing that was definite. Yeah. Would you be happy to get that message?

Well, it depends. I mean, if I was interested in the purse. It just literally depends. And I guess, like, part of this particular situation is, like, you're, like, kind of, kind of sure there's something, but you're not certain enough to take, to pull the trigger on that. That's it. It's a great message if they're definitely into you. It's a awful message if they're not, because then that's, you're just like, oh, God, God.

If a man who I was, like, friends with, or, like, a, like, like, We're not even friend. Like this guy, we're not even friends. If a man who I'd, like, done gigs with, say, who I liked, but genuinely had no feelings for, said, should I wash my balls for tonight? Should I shave my legs before tonight? I would be like, I never want to see him again. Like, that's awful.

Should I shave my dick tonight? So, shave those weird hairs that go like and sprout out the middle. Should I bet my initial? I could do yours. It's hard, though, isn't it? It's hard to know what to do. I think it doesn't have to be that extreme. Yeah, I'm learning this. That's my thinking is it doesn't have to be that.

So your advice was just don't send anything? I think the best thing, when you suggested that do you want to hang out? That was the, bring it down and not. Bring it down the stakes a little bit. Oh. I guess you can't say no to that is the only thing. If you're not into it, you can't say, no, I don't want to hang out. I think it's more vulnerable to say, do you want to hang out?

Really? Because that's more conclusive. Whereas with the leg thing. You can be like, joke. With the leg thing. I've had laser hair removal. Shave them, don't shave them. Whatever, dude.

But if it's like, do you want to hang out, it's like, well, there's an ulterior. Okay, so what do you, what do? What do we do, George? What do? How do we get boyfriends? How do we get rid of this part? Yes. Of the title and it's just ladies in your area.

Or we get rid of the elli. it just says sing, ladies in your area. Yes. Ladies in the area. Start a singing group. I don't know. It's all part of the dancer, isn't it? There's no definitive answer.

Amy doesn't want to dance. Amy wants, she doesn't want to. She's a very good dancer. She's not in the mood for dancing. Not bad. She's all right. She's a really good. She knows how she's a really good dancer. Gone to the head, I will.

Go on to the head. I can do a little shimmy. Gun to the head. Hoster situation. I will do a Jew. I'm like, I'm done with that now. I just, I'm done with that now. I just want to like. Get straight to the.

It's just so much admin. Do you know, to like cook someone in? But isn't, isn't the admin part of the thrill of the, of the, of the day? And I think men do like that as well. Like, I think you like the frisson which you do like. You just want to, do know what it is? I'm finding men where there's no real frisson and trying to generate. a frisson. If the frisson's coming back, that's the dance, that's what I enjoy.

You're going for men that are not available. But isn't the argument also that those types of men are not, like, the thrill of the thing is all it is, rather than it being a means to a more stable outcome. So like, with the guy that I met, that was lovely, there was no, like, he was just very much straight up. It was transactional, wasn't it? It's transactional. Yeah.

But he would have loved you to the end. No, do you think? Oh, no. Do you really think so? Yeah. I think he had love to give, yeah. Oh, that makes me want to. And you discarded him.

Amy dragged him to the bin. You just made me take him out to the bin. Come on, mate. I'm so sorry about this. Look, it's not you. It's her. Jordan, I'm done. Can you come and get him?

Be coming. out and dealing with him like I deal with spiders. Where is he? Where is he? Jordan is so good if there's a spider. He will come out with his fist. Just for the audio listening. But it's also like the tone of voice.

Amy never has to say spider anymore. She just goes, Jordan. Yeah. I don't know. I'll march out like that. Where is he? Where is he? Is he the man or spider? Come on, get your clothes on.

Get out. Time's up, mate. Come on, Spide. Time's time. Get your clothes on. Come on, Spider. Get your four coats. Can work out how many coats a spider would wear.

Is it four? Is it one with eight? One with eight. Well, just one with eight. Eight arms. Yeah, that makes sense. Because why would they be wearing? They're living.

They're laid-lipped cuts. Yes. Yeah, we're thinking of human. They don't think like us. Yeah. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. I thank our lucky stars every day that spiders don't think like us.

You've got to get in there and sniff them. I love that you two are living together. I think it's so nice. Yeah, it's fun. It's really cute. And I think it's a really nice dynamic. And it's just, it feels very calming having Jordan around. Yeah, it's nice.

I think it's a good. I'm okay. Yeah. He's a good boy. I hate to say it. I hate to say it. I've had my mind changed. I've had to do a 180 on this man.

Can I say one of the sweetest things that I overheard was when you were, you called your male friend, one of your... Don't get shy. He doesn't look good when he gets shy. He's gone all shy. Don't melt in the chair. You're okay. You're safe here, Jordan.

This is our second home, okay? But you can't leave. Their doors are locked, Jordan. You're going to have to listen to this. But he was like, oh, I'm just going to call my friend. And was like, literally walking out of the living room. and I heard him say on the phone, hello, sweet prince.

And I was like, oh, sweet prince. Yeah. That is the opposite of course. Gorgeous friendship, yeah. Yeah, what is that? I don't know. Well, I said hello, my sweet prince. And then when I got in the room, I was like, right,

I was fucking this baby. No, Jordan. No. Hello, sweet prince. Let's talk. Let's talk boobies. You have such a great group of male friends. Yeah, I do, yeah.

It's so nice and the way you are with each other and the care. And like, you're not like soft boys, do you mean? Like, you're like funny. And these are like big Welsh lads, do you know what I mean? But the care that goes on and the communication between you all is like, oh, it's breathtaking. Oh, that's so nice. It's so good.

It's really good. That's really sweet. Yeah. Well, because they came up last. weekend for my birthday time boy um and uh it was i think i think at one point like i said like because you went to bed yeah and i was like the conversation wasn't even different when it was just us in the room do you know what i mean there was no there's no sudden gear shift where we're going right boys let's get into it right now now the birds are to bed now the fanny's

fuck let's chat you know you know our men talk now the fan he's fine Now the fan is fucked off my sweet princes. Yeah, we love each other. We hate women. That's what you bond over. But how do you think you've managed to cultivate this like, untoxic, but not like, perform-like, it's genuinely not performative or like, let's try and be good guys. It's just like a group of good guys. How do you be a good guy?

Please. Listen up, boys. You've got to be in the arts. Well, I think part of that, I think it partly is because we're in the arts. It's just like, you know, it does attract, you know, more sort of emotionally literate people or more self-aware people.

So I think quite lucky, you know, I think sometimes I think, oh, actually, men must be having these friendships all over the place. But I don't think they are necessarily. I think we're quite lucky. But I've noticed a big job. change in us over the last like 10, 15 years. Like it's been, you know, I've known some of these for 15 years plus. And the journey that we've all gone on has been so beautiful to watch us all.

You know, all of them are or have at some point been in therapy and sort of worked. And it's not come from a place of like, all right, we, you know, not feeling obliged to do that stuff. I think it's just like from within going, I've got to sort this out. I've got to, I've got to, I've got to, I've to deal with this. But there's been moments of like, you know, I've always felt close to them. But then the last few years, in particular as we've got older, our weaknesses have become less disguisable. And our vulnerabilities are more apparent as we settle into who we are as people. And so we've just been more honest with each other. And like, there's one friend in particular who, yeah, the sweet prince, the aforementioned sweet prince who, who.

You can say his name if he's happy to be known as a sweet prince. He doesn't want to be associated with this. With a chicks podcast. This misandrist dross. His name's Phil, Phil Cooper. He's also a comedian. But we've been close for like, he was actually at my first ever gig.

And I didn't know him. Oh my God. And he came up to me after the gig. And he went, don't see that as your first gig. That was incredible. That was completely lost on the audience. You have to keep going. And it really stayed with me.

I didn't know. Men supporting men. Men supporting men. Yeah. So, and then we got really close. We lived together briefly in London for a bit. Oh yeah? Who do you prefer living with?

Ah? Ah. Amy. Can you nip him from you? Yeah. And then over the last few years, we just got close. And I think there was like genuine moments where we'd like go into a new place in terms of how honest we were willing to be with each other about what we were feeling. And it's such a great to feel like to feel like.

to feel like there's a safety in that, you know, to be able to, I don't know, just to feel safe in being honest about what's going through your head is so, yeah, so important. But we've had to do it whilst playing violent video games. Oh yes, I do know this.

So at one point, so we'll play, we'll play we'll be like, oh. You have to be shooting someone in the head. Dude, we have to play like, Grandfrey's online and we're literally, we've literally had like heart to heart, like really getting into it, talking about our floors, or we, the things we want to work on, whilst also trying to sniper each other from the top of a mountain.

Being like, yeah, no, I probably should just get in touch with my dad and work things out. Have that. Have that. Yeah. You found a way. Like, I think maybe more guys would open up and chat via the medium of... Why do you think they're having so many wars? You know, it's the very bad.

Yeah, they're working through some shit. They want a chat. Donald Trump's going to come out of this Iran war. Very refreshed. Wow. I think it's so nice. It is really lovely. I feel very lucky.

Yeah, I feel very lucky. I feel very, like, safe. Because I'm not like a bit, I don't love male company. I've never, like, loved the company of a lot of men. But this is, you know, there's a, it's, but yeah, as I say, like, they're just so emotionally literate and thoughtful and kind and funny and generous, you know, it's not, there's no sense of competitiveness.

You know, sometimes you can be in a room, particularly with a bunch of dudes. And it's just like, it's not like yes and. It's like no bar. It's like, okay, you're saying that, but I'm going to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's this. No one's doing that. We're all going, yeah, that's amazing. Plus, here's this.

You know, I think it just makes the world a difference. And even, like, when they came over for your birthday, like, it's a room full of comics, which sometimes can be, depending on the comics, but particularly because I was the, for some of it, like the only chick, I was the only bird, You know what I mean? Hell yeah.

As we insisted on you referring to yourself there. Room for a bird. She was walking in more masculine than we were. Shogging, like, shotgun in. I outdrank all of you. I don't know why I had to wear the hooters top. But, bye, five, five, five, whatever. It's his birthday, whatever.

But, like, yeah, it was, like, a really generous, like, funny. There was no, like, I don't know. It was just lovely. Yeah, it was just lovely. It's lovely, lovely boys. Lovely boys. Lovely boys. Lovely boys. I mean, boys with stuff to work on.

I mean, not saying that they're... Oh, 100%. Everyone in that room's broken. But I think it's like, I think it's just about letting go of like trying to be good for someone else, trying to be good for an external validation of what they think is good or what's seen to be good. And just doing what is right for you and, yeah. But like we just, yeah, we help each other. Really, it's nice.

Do you help each other with relationships? Do you talk about? Yeah, we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we, I mean, the way we talk about relationships and the way that we've learned how to approach a relationship and how to conduct ourselves in it, it's just, yeah, it's really, yeah, it's really nice. I think it's definitely helped us stay in relationships or work through difficulties in relationships. Because the stereotype is that, like, a man comes back from hanging out with his friends and they're like, oh, how's his girlfriend Susan or whatever? And they're like, oh, I don't know, you know. You find out they broke up like a year. and they didn't even know because they didn't even broke to the subject. Susan died actually. Susan, Susan.

Susan. Susan. She's the one that was in the car crash five years ago. She's the one at the wedding. Did we go to her wedding? With my friend? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, no.

Yeah, no, we're pretty good with each other in that way. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was Jamila Jamil that said. Clang. Clang on the pod. That was like, she found her relationship

was enriched by having like really, good friendships because then you're not like you're not putting all that pressure on your partner to be like you have to be my best friend someone I play grand theft daughter with and have sex with and this and that and that you're like oh I've got such a rich life yeah that you know you don't have to put all your expectations onto a romantic partner for sure I think I think yeah I think men definitely gravitate more so and certainly I've done this where I just I put everything on that one partner and you you are my best friend you are my you know my world my everything and it's way too much.

It's way too much. So I think it's important to have that outlet with the right kind of guy. Say it with me. I'm a goddess. How was your dating life like when you were younger, like at school? Harriet, I was a heartthrob. If we're including partners I had up until the age of 12,

yeah. We're not. Which we're not, Jordan. Forget it then. Yeah, move on. How much younger? How young are we talking? I don't know.

It's just funny to think of you. I don't know. It's a teenager. They love me at primary school. We've got to move on from primary school. No, but I'm telling you, I was at the peak. I was at the peak. I was at the peak.

It was in year four. I remember in year six over hearing some girls talking about me and one of them said, there's just something different about him. Yeah. Do you think it's because you listen? I think it is.

Yeah. Yeah. The bar was even low then. In 1997. When did you have your first, like, what you'd class as a proper relationship? And it could be in school.

Like, I would say my first relationship was in school. Yeah, I had one. I was dating. Dating. Dating. So when I was about, This must be like year three, year four.

Oh my God. Yeah. We're still in primary school? Yeah, yeah. We're still in primary school. Yeah, yeah. Don't worry. I know you're thinking,

how have we got time to go through this inside day if we're starting there? There's a 12 year gap, Harriet, where we just, we jump into mid-20s real soon, so don't worry about that. I don't know if I can talk about this.

Because that's too young. Like, I can't imagine my, like, how old is that? Yeah, but I was that age. There's nothing inappropriate going on. No, with the thought of it, how old is. do you then? Seven or eight? Yeah.

The thought, that's my daughter in three years. I cannot have this conversation. I just, it feels... She's gonna have a little boyfriend. She's gonna have a boyfriend. No. So I remember, so this, this girl's... Well, this is coming. I went to a girl school. Oh, did you?

Ah. Ah. Right, right, right. Oh, I had bare boy friends in primary school. Fucking hell, I've got to move her out the country. This is crazy. Me and Craig Smith used to play marbles together. And then he'd come and try and me a kiss and I'd tap him on the head. Yeah.

And I think I'd say not till we're married. And I was like, six. Oh, God. Yeah. No, so my first serious relationship was with, this was her name. When I was to say, yeah. Are you seven years ago?

Hmm? You cannot say your first serious relationship when you're seven. It was my first. Jordan, you can't say that. I loved her. She didn't love me, it turns out. Jordan. That cannot be a serious relationship.

You're seven. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We cannot count that. That's his only relationship. Let him have it. Let the man have it.

Jordan suddenly becomes toxic. It doesn't count. Yeah, she joined late. She joined school like year three, year four. Her name was genuinely Melanie Brown. And I... And I really... took a shine to her, like, straight away.

And even, like, within half an hour of her joining the class, I was, I offered her a locket, like, you know, like, there's little things. And I was like, do you want to lock it? She was like, no, thank you. And I was like, oh. Like a necklace? Like a, like, off suite.

No, like, hoffsweet. No, they're like hoffsweet. A lozinger. A lozange. How many-year-old, this is crazy. Oh, perfect. I've got a locket with your face in it already. That's great.

That's great. And then she was like, no, thank you. And then I was like, oh, I've put them in your drawer. Because you know, you get your own little assigned drawing. I was like, I've put them in your drawer just in case you need them. Oh, shorter. I know. It still works.

The old locket routine. Yeah. I haven't seen her you locket in years. Jordan's got all these old lockets. And then she just like, yeah, fell head over heels. And so then she came round once with her steps. She probably did fall. She only yolled.

Sorry, she fell roly-poly into my arms. And she came round with her sister Lindsay, a step-sister, Lindsay, and they brought me sweets and stuff, and we were like hanging out. And then I had to say goodbye to them. And I got off with them both. I hate this story. Shut up.

I hate this story so much. Shut up. Yeah. Where are you? Where are you from? Merseyside. Okay. What?

I can't live there with Maple. I can't live anywhere. Kissing at 7 or 8. That's like a gang. Behind a van. Basically, that's crazy. And imagine how fresh their breath would be from the lozenges, from the locket. Yeah, that's a hot.

That's like a hot kiss. It's like a menfully kiss. That's going to make your eyes water. I hate this story. This is the worst story I've ever heard on this podcast. I hate it. It's a beautiful story. So then we were dating.

She was, we were totally in love. And then... Sorry, sorry, but you kissed her step-sister? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like a thing. Why are you acting like, this is normal? Because we've got to keep living together. She's trying to find the way to be like,

I don't live with a mad pervert. No, it's absolutely fine that. She's kissing really seven, everybody. That's fine, Harriet. Don't dig into it. I went to their house and they... turned on me.

Started kind of bullying me. And they were like throwing toys at me and stuff in the corner. They really like something just flipped. Yeah.

And my mom came to pick me up and I was like sobbing. Oh. And what they'd done is just before my mom came they tied my shoelaces together until I walked. I fell over.

Harriet, you can't laugh at that. Right. I still try and do that sometimes. The men like it's such a fun move to it was. Such a fun move.

The Dennis the Menace maneuver. Make it when they're adults. No, you wouldn't. You really wouldn't. And they're your GP. I'm sorry, that's a bad, yeah, that was it. But I think that was the first time I fell in love. But I'd have these like, yeah, whirlwind.

You do when you're at primary school. I remember our classes got put together once, and I fell in love with this girl called Samantha, who was with Aiden from another class. Jordan had a girlfriend. Yes, in years three. Jordan is an adult. I've had a good friend.

Yeah? I've had four. But no, the first time I like properly was like this as a relationship was at 16. That makes sense. Yeah. So, but yeah, it was a bit of a fallow period after that. Yeah. Do you want to know when I lost my virginity?

I don't think so after those stories. Maybe we need to actually after those stories. Yeah, maybe. It's doubled. Well, Mel Brown and Lindsay took things a little too far. I was 24. 24. So there was a big period where I just didn't take.

How did that affect you? Because I mean, would you say that was older? But did you... Did your friends and your friends? Don't look at me like because you're making me stressed. I'm trying to be at like, ask journalistic questions. And would you say that's a little old? And did you experience that as an elder virginity?

Or do you think that's normal? Do you think that's like fucking mental? And are you okay with that about yourself? Some people might say. Oh, I've broken Harriet. Yeah, how did that feel for you? Yeah, I mean, the sex was great. No, I just wanted to wait, genuinely.

I just wanted to wait. So it was your choice? It was my choice. I was just waiting until I... It's not an in-sell. I don't know for an in-cell. I know. But I would say I was insecure about being a virgin when I was 15.

Yeah. That is mad. No, I just wanted to wait until I found someone who wanted to have sex with me. That's lovely. That's for sure the right approach. I'm not saying that's not the right approach. But I would say you definitely hear of people that if they're in their 20s

they'd maybe become it could become a thing Oh dude no I'm totally joking it was definitely a thing it definitely was Yeah Jordan you just made me feel so stressed

This is why you don't have dudes on it Yeah we can only do it now and again Because it's too stressful Yeah no it really It really like yeah It did a number on me Yeah that was what I was trying to say Like that wasn't a mad thing for me to say

Thank you No no But when I was like, yeah, so I like, when I was about 16, 17, yeah, I just like, I just was very, how do I say this? Like, not attractive to others. Only to yourself. Well, you know the YouTube videos that we've been watching? When was that age?

That was about 19, 20. Because you're so cool. Yeah, but, you know, at that age, it's very much not. would have been a heartthrob, for sure. I've watched some very funny, very sweet, very clever videos that Jordan was doing when he was a teenager and I was just like, oh my God, I would have killed to have been your friend. You'd have been the coolest. Yeah. That's very sweet. That's very nice. I think it's partly like, yeah, my insecurities, I got like really obsessed with the way I looked and like was super like just, you know, constantly in the mirror, counting my spots and looking at myself.

And yeah, I really like went into a dark place. And, but like, you know, it's just, at that age, it's just people are cruel. And it's, and it's difficult. You go to a party and someone's fucking rejecting you or, you know, there's these things. There's just like a one of those, those things would just happen one too many times as you're growing up. Yeah. You go, okay, I'm just different. I'm just not, I'm just not allowed in, I've not allowed a seat at this particular table.

And so I retreated a lot and, yeah, spent a bit of sort of time kind of with, like, maybe a handful of friends, didn't really go out, didn't socialise. I didn't go to uni until I was like 23. And so there was a period where I just wasn't, to be fair, I wasn't putting myself in a position where I could meet people. So it's partly self-inflicted, but yeah. I think it's a really helpful thing for you to talk about that, because I'm sure there'll be people that are listening that feel exactly the same.

Why do I feel like you're joking? Boring. It's made a bit of comedy book. That's Jordan. No, I'm saying, Jamie. That's such a nice thing. Some people might say that that's a boring story. What say ye to that statement?

I'm saying that is really nice. And I think that especially, like, you don't hear that as a woman. Like, you don't hear the male insight. Like, you never ever think that men are thinking about their appearance. It's that. Oh, they 100% are. 100%. I think I was, like, a bit of a sort of extreme case, I guess.

No, I think a lot of men, yeah, they just don't... Particularly young men. Particularly young men. There's just no space in your head for it. So a lot of men will feel it but not express it and not say it. But obviously, you know, like very broadly, men's value is not in their looks as much as women. But that doesn't mean that we don't also feel the same thing. Oh, do you just love a roast, do you?

Thinking of, like, teenage boys. compared to someone who's like very, I mean, not all teenage girls or whatever, but like, I know if I felt insecure, I'm like, I'm going to dye my hair or I'm going to take my nails. There's things you can do as a woman. A man, it's just kind of like, this is it.

This is what I'm working with. These young guys now are doing that thing with a hammer on the face. Looks maxi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can hear that in my room, can you? Yeah. Just screaming.

Just putting a painting up. Sorry, Amy, the walls are screaming. I don't know what. I don't know what. Very sensitive plasterboard there. Obviously, things are changing a bit now and stuff like that. But got back when we were teenagers, like, boys sort of couldn't express their personalities in their looks

other than like what team football shirt they're wearing. Yeah, yeah. There was no, like, oh, I'd feel more confident if I wore a bit of makeup or I'd feel more confident with this haircut or like, it was like, this is me and this is it. This is it. And if you don't like it, I've really got fuck all else I can do. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I remember trying to talk to a friend. Because it was a real, you know, it was a real thing in my head. I was like, I'm ugly and, you know, and all this stuff. And I remember sitting a friend down, the more sensitive male member of my friendship group, sat him down in the park. And I went, I said to him, I'm like, man, I think I'm ugly. And he said, I'm not drunk. enough to have this conversation.

And I never mentioned it again. Oh, fucking hell. Yeah, yeah. But it became like, you know, you just hear one too many comments, you know, just people will just say stuff. I mean, I had so many things. Well, men, it's fine to, like, make fun of each other. Dude, 100%.

And we would never, we would never, like, make fun of each other's appearance. No, no, but you would, at that age, you would, men, maybe, like, I would get it from women as well. Like, you know, I'd get sort of people. It would be less, it feel like it wouldn't affect you. Exactly, yeah. I don't know how to say this because we live together, but you're like, you're hot. Yeah, yeah.

Like, if you were some sort of like quasi-moder, you'd be like, oh, God, he's had a real talk to. We will have to cut this out. To us, please. But you know, like, it's baffling me. You're asking for a curtain between us. We can't look at him. But yeah, I would get a lot of comments like that.

But, you know, I mean... That's mental. Yeah, but it's also like, you know, I don't probably... It's kids. It's kids. Their brains are forming. Like, do you conform to what we've been told is attractive and all this stuff? But also I will say that, like, you know, I had...

Girls definitely fancied me. I had a girlfriend and stuff. But, yeah, I just... Those kinds of comments just really put me into myself. And I just really absorbed them. And, you know, partly that's just my business. brain as well. I could easily maybe another kind of brain would have just dismissed

to them and not taking them on. And it's something like something that could trigger like an eating disorder or something to one person could not to somebody else. Oh yeah yeah. It's just a thing that is in your head. Do you think that you have processed that or that's something that's still like stop looking at me like that because I'm trying to ask

serious questions and every time you make me feel so stressed. I take it back. Living with Jordan would not be relaxing in anywhere. I would find it very stressful. But do you feel like that's still something that's like in your head? Or that you've, yeah. Yeah, I still look for evidence of it.

I'm an outlier. I think amongst a lot of, you know, most women get, most female comments. I know, you guys get comments. A lot of men don't, really. But I think if a man comes along who's like doesn't immediately conform to what, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. You know.

Yeah. It's probably threatening. Yeah. Yeah. To the sort of guy that is a commenter. Yeah. An internet comment. And they just want to say something.

They just want to say something about anyone who isn't like exactly like them. Yeah. They will like some comedy, but it will be, you know, they'll like one guy. It will be a guy who says offensive things. Yeah. And anyone who's doing anything other than that, whether it be creatively or they're a woman or, you know, heaven forbid they might be brown or something like that. They'll instantly be like, I need to comment.

on this, this different to me. Hate this. Why different me? Hate this. It's me but different. It's me but different. I hate this. Disgusting.

Okay. All right, he didn't say disgusting. No, that sounds one of my hobbies. Disgusting man who doesn't take the bins out. He leaves his teaspoons in the sink. Disgusting man, just don't turn the dishwasher on when it's fun. We're on. Do you do that?

I do, I actually do it. He's actually very good. He's actually very good. He's an end job. Pretty good at that. Yeah. But yeah, no, I, yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah, definitely still sort of carry that a little bit. Like, telling me the other day, I went to, um, I got really, you know, I get really obsessed

with like, okay, what can I do to my face sometimes? And I'm like, what can I have that work done or whatever? And I went to a maxillow facial clinic. What is? I, I don't. I don't know. I don't know. But it was on Harley Street. It was like, you know, it's like a private clinic. It's, it's a department of a hospital. You know, you might like have gastroentrology or, like, an osteo kind of thing or maxillofacial is like facial stuff. Yeah. But it's like a hospital,

like it's a hospital level department. And I went and he said, the guy said, never have I had an appointment with someone who hasn't been referred. I literally just made an appointment. I guess there's something up. I don't know what it is. You don't want to look at me and went, you've got a very busy brain, haven't you? And I was like, yeah.

I think that's it though. I really appreciate you talking about it. Because I think so many people are just going around their lives and there's some stuff happened. But you have no idea what's happening in their head. Like it's so helpful to know what's actually happening in someone's head because I never would have thought that about you at all. But I think it's probably true of any men, I mean,

certainly my male friends, I know they have hang-ups and insecurities and, you know. Wow, we need to remember this more. We need to remember this. We're vulnerable little guys deep down. We've got to stop slagging them off so much. We're the problem. We're the toxic ones. Yeah, you said you've been going on for 10 years.

Men need to go to therapy. We went to therapy. What are you doing? Yeah, therapy as well as soon. I just had loads of therapy. I just had loads of therapy. Gosh. It's good to have a male perspective now and again.

Yeah, it is. It is good. What have I offered? What perspective is this? Just that men have feelings to. It's literally, we need to be reminded once a month. We've got to have a male guest every month just to remind us. They get feelings.

On our periods. It's a specific one though. It has to be the right one. Otherwise, we can go the other. A lot of them are awful. Yeah. Are you like, how do you feel about this is such a big question? And I know we're nearly finished recording time of the podcast.

You'd better react to Amy with this question the way you did to me. Yeah, he's too. I'm getting the love. How do you feel currently about being a man? I love it. Well, thanks so much, Jordan. It's been love it. Have you on?

Hate that. Absolutely. You hate that. God. It's complicated. It's really complicated. I think... Get paid more.

You get paid more, which is great. I don't know if it's hard... I don't think it's hard to be a man in the way that people think it is now these days. I think... But I do think that a lot of... certainly men my age and men in my sort of circle have had to...

do a lot of assessment, a lot of thinking about things that were just built into us from day one and unpick it. And so, but I don't think it's any more or less than what other people have had to go through in their own life. So it's almost like it's kind of just equaled the playing field. Yeah. I think a lot of men have struggled with masculinity and what it means to be a man. And I think, but I also do think that that is something that everyone is struggling with since the dawn of time, since the beginning of consciousness. You know, this idea of sort of men being in crisis, I mean, haven't we all been in crisis since day one?

Since day one. Since day one. It just takes on different shapes. There's never like a period in history where you're like, oh, they had it sorted. Exactly. Being alive is a crisis. Being alive is a crisis.

Yeah. I think it's just taken on, you know, Yeah, it's just taken on a particularly insidious form at the moment. But then when is it not? When is it not? Yeah. Yeah, we feel like it's maybe, you know, like the manosphere and stuff like that. It feels like, oh, God, it's escalating and it's getting worse than ever.

But I actually think we're hearing about more stuff, but it's probably the best it's been. Yeah, and this thing is just, it's, we just know about it. We just know about it. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. You know, I do worry. Like, you know, young men being fed this stuff, it scares me.

You know, I think if I was that age, 100% I'd be vulnerable to it. 100% I would have ended up, like, in-cell or in-cell-adjacent with some, like, toxic views of, you know. Because they target you when you're... They do. They do. You know, and if you've got things in your head about, like, oh, I don't know if, like, women find me attractive. And they're like, yeah, they weren't find attractive because women only, like, men who have got a millionaires. Yeah.

That's why they're all bitches. Yeah. And you need to hammer your face. And then maybe they're like, of course, you're like, right. Of course, if you're lying in bed, you're vulnerable. Yeah. Falling asleep. This stuff just being, you know.

Yeah. But I feel quite lucky to have had, like, my mom and my sister have been such strong presence in my life. And so I do feel quite lucky to have been, like, able to be vulnerable quite early in my life and be emotionally, you know, like, thoughtful. And like I remember, like, you know, when I think about the way that my mom and my sister have kept me propped up and helped me, even through, you know, we were like kids and having a great time. And then suddenly adolescence just hits you. And I turned into a nightmare. And they, their love for me never wavered.

You know, they were still there the whole time. I always remember this one, this one time. I was so worried about the way I looked. I was like constantly going on about it. I'm ugly and disgusting. All this stuff. And I was working quite long days. And I rented the Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the First one on DVD.

And I kept falling asleep. And I was getting so frustrated because I was like, I can't believe I'm missing all of this. I mean, I'm fuming. And then I came home once. And they bought me the DVD. And a little note. And it was just like, you're a beautiful person. and you never need to worry about all this stuff.

Oh, my. Yeah, it was like so, I was so sweet. I think about it all the time because it's just such a, like, so symbolic of the way that they were just like, constantly looking out for me and constantly keeping me sort of propped up. So, yeah.

Behind every good man is at least two good women. At least two good women. But behind them is like, just a real fucking dude. Real big lad. Real big lad. Just a real big lad. We're all big lad. Just staying like that.

Saying, can you chicks get out of the word? Jordan, thank you so much. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me. It's over. Thank you.

Yeah, it's over. It over. We've had enough. Thank you. We've had enough of that. Thank you. I was going to ask what your Instagram is. I think people are going to be so surprised

when they follow on Instagram and they're expecting like some beast. And they're like, that was an Instagram. It's lovely looking. And what is your Instagram? And can you tell us about your new show, please? It's Jordan Brooks Comedy. The new show is, it's called The Part of You That's Always Screaming.

And it's on, I'm doing the show at the Edinburgh Fringe in August this year. And then I'm taking it on tour. Sort of tour. I mean, I wouldn't call it a tour. It's a handful of dates in major cities. That's a tour. That's what a tour is. It's not nothing.

It's definitely summer. It is. Jordan is very funny. People need to go, yeah. No, no, I don't know. Yeah.

Only if you want, obviously. Yeah, you don't have to do it yet. Obviously. Just trying to say it's very funny. But, yeah, just like,

if you don't want to, you don't have to. I don't know. The sort goes without so. Yeah. You do have options. Yeah. You could not go,

but, you know, it is nice time. But you should go. Yeah, you should go. Yeah, you should go. Yeah, but don't rush. But you have a great time. Don't move anything in his schedule.

When I saw Jordan show, his previous show, in Edinburgh, I think maybe you were there. Yes, I think so. Yeah, and we watched your show and it was so good. And then I, and this is before we lived together. Like, we were, like, friends, like, not super close. And I came out and I burst into tears because I was so proud of you. Yes.

And everyone was like, I was there. It's just so amazing that I know people that can make stuff this good. Yeah. Oh no. She was tired. I was also very tired. I just arrived to Edinburgh that day and I think I'd been up for like 24 hours, but I was in bits. Because it was so funny.

It was so funny. It was incredible. That's someone that I know is done that. Yeah. Oh, that's really sweet. That's really sweet. You guys got anything that you need to plug or? Oh, no.

We find that quite gauche. Yeah, we would never do that. I didn't realize you're supposed to say no. Thank you, George. Thank you. Is it ham? Well, that was Jordan Brooks. The goodest egg.

Yeah. And a good, good bloody bloke, actually. Good bloke. Good guy. Stressful to interview. I will say that was on both of you. I had a lovely time. It was just, it was just, yeah, it was very stressful to ask questions.

But in a. fun way. It was so funny when you were like, 24. And do you, is that? And for you, do you feel? Just say it's a bit older.

It was where he was looking at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. That's why I kept going. Then I was like, oh, I'm getting got. You got got got by the Brooks. Yeah. You got got. He got me. He's very funny and his shows are so good.

His shows are so good. Again, you don't have to go. You do not have to go watch them, but if you do want to, Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Anon Tour. And on tour. Or Amy's House. Or come round, come round. And of course you can follow him at Jordan Brooks Comedy on Instagram. You'll see some content of him. You'll see me in the background a lot of the time.

Or you'll see our flat in the background. The other day he did a post where he, I gave him a wig. I was throwing stuff out and I gave him a wig. Next day there's a, there's an Instagram reel. He's in the wig. He's just walking around the flat. I'm like, okay. There he is.

Why is my algorithm not feeding me this shit? I follow, Jordan. What's happening? blocking it. I want to see this. We have such a laugh. Yes. Fart dog prank.

Yeah. And do search, if you take anything away from this, please do search Fart on Dog Prank. Thank you. You can have a great day. Thank you, Jordan. Thank you, Jordan.

Hello, me again, Amy Gledhill, but this time I'm with... Not Harriet Kemsley. Whoa! WT, fuck! What's going on? I'm with bloody Ian Smith. Off a Northern News podcast. Yes, a podcast. That's not about the news.

Don't worry, single ladies. No, it's not about the news. It's not about being single. No. It's about the North. And all of our stories are about... couples. That is not the truth, Ian. No, not technically true. It's weird stuff. It's funny stuff that's going on up north that we're reporting back on.

Things like pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire Village and attacking children. Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in Bathmat. And we've got special guests. We're talking about people like Phil Wang, Jessica Nappit, Ed Gamble and Ross Noble. Who joined us in the studio? Yeah. That's Northern News, wherever you get your podcasts.