Sins & Survivors: A Las Vegas True Crime Podcast - Over the Line - Domestic Violence in Sports - Part 1

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

When the game is over, what happens behind closed doors? Domestic violence in professional sports is often a headline for a day before the world moves on. But the victims don’t get to move on so easily.Last season, we shared stories of domestic violence victims from all walks of life. For the next two weeks, we’re turning our attention to a space where these stories make headlines—but are quickly forgotten once the stadium lights turn on.We’re talking about professional sports. The big names, the scandals that briefly make the news, and then… we move on. But for the victims, these stories don’t disappear so easily.From the NFL to the WNBA and beyond, domestic violence in sports is a topic that rarely gets the attention it deserves. We’re diving into those stories over the next two episodes.Because while the world might move on, we think it’s time to take a closer look at what happens when the game is over.https://sinspod.co/episode46sourcesDomestic Violence Resourceshttp://sinspod.co/resourcesClick here to become a member of our Patreon!https://sinspod.co/patreonVisit and join our Patreon now and access our ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content & schwag! Get ad-free access for only $1 a month or ad-free and bonus episodes for $3 a monthApple Podcast Subscriptionshttps://sinspod.co/appleWe're now offering premium membership benefits on Apple Podcast Subscriptions! On your mobile deviceLet us know what you think about the episodehttps://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2248640/open_sms Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/sins-survivors-a-las-vegas-true-crime-podcast--6173686/support.

To listen ad-free, visit Zinspod.co slash subscribe. Starting at $2.99 a month, you'll also get access to our exclusive bonus content episodes when you join through Patreon or Apple subscriptions. Thanks for supporting the show! Every year, countless people worldwide vanish without a trace, leaving behind loved ones desperate for answers. I'm Jason Usry, the host of Missing in a Moment, a true crime podcast. In each episode, we'll explore the crucial moments when someone goes missing, shed light on the stories of those left searching, and amplify the voices of their families, advocates, and heroes who refuse to give up hope.

Missing in a Moment, a true crime podcast, out now wherever you listen. Remember, just because someone goes missing in a moment doesn't mean their memory can't live forever. Last season, we shared stories of domestic violence victims from all walks of life. For the next two weeks, we're turning our attention to a space where these stories make headlines, but are quickly forgotten once the stadium lights turn on. We're talking about professional sports, the big names, the scandals that briefly make the news, and then we move on. But for the victims, these stories don't disappear so easily. From the NFL to the WNBA and beyond,

domestic violence in sports is a topic that rarely gets the attention it deserves. We're diving into those stories over the next two episodes. Because while the world might move on, we think it's time to take a closer look at what happens when the game is over. Hi, and welcome to Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas true crime podcast where we focus on cases that deal with domestic violence, as well as missing persons and unsolved cases. I'm your host, Sean, and with me, as always, is the one and only John. I am the only John in the room. So hello, everyone, and welcome to our first episode of season two of Sins and Survivors. In our first year with the podcast, we covered quite a few cases, some of which were fairly

high profile. One topic we haven't touched yet, though, is domestic violence in professional sports. We did cover a little bit is domestic violence in professional sports we did cover a little bit about stalking in the sports world and the case of sportscaster aaron andrews so today we'd like to shine a light on this the scary thing that happened when we decided to highlight this as a part of 2024 domestic violence awareness month is that we quickly realized we could have just created a whole season just talking about these cases, so this might be one that we revisit in the future. Instead of dedicating a whole season to this topic for now, for the next two episodes, we will focus on cases from the National Football League, the WNBA, track and field,

mixed martial arts, Major League Baseball, and of course, boxing. When we started researching this topic and these cases, it really felt like we had both taken the red pill. It was shocking to really take a look at the whole idea of domestic violence in sports, and that's going to include NCAA, college sports, and also professional sports, by the way. And you start to notice a couple things. Firstly, there have been relatively few recent studies specifically geared towards sports and domestic violence rates that we can find, so there isn't a lot of compelling evidence that the rates of domestic violence among professional athletes exceed the rates for non-athletes. The fact that there aren't many

professional athletes compared to the other 300 million people in the United States means you also have a relatively small sample to analyze. One thing we did come across, though, is that even if the rates in which these crimes are committed are similar, the arrest rates are not, which could be linked to the privilege of having a high prestige job like being a baseball player or a football player, potentially earning millions of dollars a year, which could lead to much more lenient treatment. The problem of victims being taken seriously and even believed is a constant problem, but it gets worse when the offender is a pitcher for the local MLB team. In one case, the police not only didn't help the victim of a horrific and violent

crime, but they actually accused the victim of seeming like a vindictive girlfriend, effectively engaging in victim blaming and implying that she somehow brought it on herself. Not great and not what we want for victims of domestic violence. In our first two episodes, we'll be talking about some high profile domestic violence cases that have taken place since 2014 in Major League Baseball, the WNBA, maybe surprisingly, and of course the case everyone seems to be familiar with from the National Football League. Do you want to get us started talking about MLB pitcher Sam Dyson's case? Sure. Sam Dyson was born on May 7th, 1988 in Tampa, Florida. He played high school baseball at the Tampa Jesuit High School and was actually such a standout that he was drafted out of high school by the Washington

Nationals when he graduated in 2006. But he decided to go to college instead of just going straight into the major leagues. That had to have been tempting, though, given that the minimum starting salary in Major League Baseball in 2006 was about $327,000, which is equivalent to about $578,000 in 2024. And remember that that would have been the minimum he would have made. That's a lot more than most high school seniors were looking at earning their first year out of high school. He ended up going to school in South Carolina and becoming a Gamecock, where he had an outstanding four years of baseball. He was then drafted by the Toronto Blue Jays in the fourth round of the 2010 MLB draft, but quickly got injured. He did play for them in 2012 after playing for their affiliated

PCL minor league team and getting healthy. Over the next seven years, he bounced around a lot, playing for the Miami Marlins from 2013 to 2015, then the Texas Rangers from 2015 to 2017, the San Francisco Giants from 2017 to 2019, and then finally ending up with the Minnesota Twins in 2019. After that, he entered free agency, and the Twins were the last MLB team he'd play for. During his career, he had a pattern of getting into altercations pretty much wherever he went. In May of 2014, he was playing for the New Orleans Zephyrs, who were later renamed the New Orleans Babycakes because AAA teams have weird names, and the Zephyrs were a minor league team

affiliated with the Marlins at that time for about six years. Anyway, he got into a fight with a teammate named Chris Hatcher in a bar after a game that neither of them had even played in. It wasn't really much of a fight, though. Hatcher punched Dyson in the face for some unknown reason Divisional Series, basically the quarterfinals. The two winners of the Divisional Series play in the American League Championship Series to determine who goes to the World Series to face the National League champion. During Game 5 of the ALDS, Dyson managed to provoke a bench-clearing near-brawl on the field that started with an argument with Jose Bautista, whose actions he didn't approve of after the batter hit a three-run home run off of him to take the lead in the game. The batter flipped his bat, which apparently offended Dyson's sense of sportsmanship. Unclear if this is worse than initiating an argument that cleared the bench, but whatever. All of this isn't great, but

unfortunately, Dyson has been accused of far, far worse by his now ex-girlfriend Alexis Blackburn on multiple occasions in 2019 and then again in 2021. The incidents in 2019 and 2021 and the following lawsuit are culminations of what is, according to Alexis, as reported in The Athletic, a long series of abusive patterns and behaviors from Dyson with alleged psychological, emotional abuse, and sexual violence that spanned their six-year-long relationship. We're not going to go into a lot of the details here, but the experience was extremely traumatizing for Alexis. We should also note that investigators with The Athletic named Katie Strang and Ken Rosenthal were able

to validate many of the accusations from Alexis. Of course, we should always believe victims when these things happen, but we wanted to mention this independent investigation too. As we've talked about before, when it comes to abusive behaviors, they can often start out small and escalate often into violence. A friend and coworker of Alexis's who wanted to remain anonymous said that she found certain behaviors exhibited by Sam Dyson pretty odd and concerning. At first, Alexis would make offhand comments to her about how he didn't like her wearing white shirts at work, or didn't want her wearing makeup or her hair a certain way, which are all indications of controlling and manipulative actions and behavior. She also said that Dyson would surprise her at work. She worked in retail in

a mall in Dallas at this time, but to her friend, it seemed like Dyson was checking up on her. She brought this up to Alexis several times, and as a result, Alexis quit her job and blocked her on all social media. You might be able to guess what happened there, but Alexis told Dyson about it, and he said that her friend was a bad influence. And in the process, he exhibited another classic indication of abusive behavior, isolating her from her friends. Other friends of the couple noticed things that seemed pretty off as well. After Alexis quit her job, another friend said that she seemed a bit more withdrawn and had less of her characteristic spark. She also made it a point to take note of the frequent demeaning and denigrating comments that Dyson said to her all the time. She tried to help Alexis get a job in the service

industry. She worked at a bar. But of course, Dyson wasn't going to let that happen. Shortly after that, they were no longer hanging out anymore. We, of course, can't say why for sure, but it seems more than likely that it was Dyson that might have made that happen. A lot of his behavior seems to have come from low self-esteem, of course. Alexis later said that Dyson was afraid that patrons would hit on her and that she would leave him. At one point, he even texted her a lengthy list of things that he didn't like about her, which we're not going to read here, but it was honestly just awful and nothing any person should have to endure. Dyson then got traded to San Francisco in 2019, and it's at the end of 2019 when things really came to a head. On October 6th, 2019, there was a violent incident between the two that involved her black kitty, Snuckles. During a fight, Tyson had kicked Snuckles' Halloween-themed kitty house with Snuckles

inside, hurting him very badly. But we do want to say up front that happily, Snuckles did eventually recover and he is okay. After this incident, the two of them filed a police report with the Jupiter, Florida police and sat for a recorded interview, which from the account we read was very disturbing. It had the feel there's never a reason to kick a cat's house in a maniacal rage whether or not you think the cat is inside. Also in that interview, Alexis can be heard saying, I'm absolutely terrified of what he's capable of doing. Later explaining that he had firearms and she was genuinely fearful for her life. In the end though, as so often happens, the police offered no solutions, no help, and no hope for someone in a desperate situation where her life might very well be in danger. They treated the situation flippantly and treated Dyson like he was a

celebrity, and one of them ended the interview by saying, okay, get back to your workout, bud. So that brings us to the night of November 19th, 2019. The couple had been living together in Jupiter, Florida, which I admittedly find confusing because he was playing for the Giants at that point. But on that night, they ended things and Dyson essentially threw her out on the street without letting her get her belongings. Alexis called the Jupiter, Florida police and calmly tried to explain this, all the while knowing that her ex-boyfriend was a well-known professional baseball player, and she even attempted to keep the whole thing quiet and out of the news. She just wanted her belongings and to move on with her life. The police, as before, were absolutely

no help to her, ostensibly because her name wasn't on the deed of the home, but something that stuck out to Alexis was that one of the police officers she spoke to said that she sounded like, as Sean said before, a vindictive girlfriend. I'm not really aware of what training had been given up to that point to the Jupiter Police Department about the proper protocol when dealing with a victim of domestic violence, but I feel pretty safe in saying that this wouldn't meet the minimum professional standards anyone would expect. It was a day later, November 20th, that she learned Snuckles was going to need emergency surgery. And that seemed like it was the thing that snapped her into anger. Anger that this had happened, and anger that she had endured it for so long, and of course

anger on behalf of her beloved pet. Thankfully, she was able to reach out to the wife of one of Dyson's teammates, whom she was friendly with, to start the ball rolling to find resources within the MLB. On the 26th, she posted about the incident with Snuckles on Instagram, which was a brilliant way to highlight what was happening with something we can all agree on, that violence against animals is as abhorrent as violence against a domestic partner. Her post showed Snuckles on a Halloween-themed kitty house, and there, in the next photo, the house was completely smashed. She posted in Snuckles' voice explaining that her mom had ended a toxic relationship with a toxic person. Very shortly after that, to their great credit, Major League Baseball opened an investigation

into Dyson. Ten months later, Dyson was suspended for the entire 2021 season for violating their domestic violence policy, which had been introduced in 2015. The MLB and the MLB Players Association came out with an official policy on domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual abuse following a series of high-profile domestic violence cases in the NFL, one of which we'll talk about in a little bit. You can read the policy in its entirety, which we've made a short link for at sinspod.co.mlb. We'll also include that in the show notes. The policy is seemingly pretty comprehensive and doesn't specify a minimum or maximum penalty for these crimes. While it's great that Dyson was

essentially driven out of Major League Baseball due to all of this, there was never any legal consequence. He never spent a moment in jail, nor was he formally charged or tried in a court of law, which is outrageous. In fact, in 2022, he signed with the Toros de Tijuana, the Tijuana Bulls, in the Mexican Baseball League, and played over 40 games with them. He sort of fell off the radar after that, but his baseball career didn't seemingly suffer directly other than not being able to play baseball in the MLB anymore. In 2021, Alexis initiated a civil lawsuit in which she outlined the full details of all the horrors that she endured with Tyson over their six-year relationship, and it's so much worse than people knew. She included allegations of rape, battery,

and of course, infliction of emotional distress. She even described how he forced her to get an abortion at one point after sexually assaulting her when she told him that she was pregnant with their child. Not directly related, but the lawsuit also details Dyson's overt and ongoing racism, using the n-word referring to African-American baseball players, and using racial slurs when talking about players of Hispanic descent. Since this is a civil suit and litigation is ongoing, we obviously don't know what the result will be, but we do just want to say how thankful we are that Alexis was able to escape this nightmare situation with this man, and we wish

her nothing but the best in her journey to get justice and heal and continue with her life. Her life and her Instagram are private now, but she does have the hashtag BelieveVictims in her bio, and a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website, which is thehotline.org. We have actually added that to our website in our list of DV resources, and you can always find that at sinspod.co. As always, if you or someone you know is in a domestic violence situation, please avail yourself of these resources and do what you can to assure your safety, your children's safety, and your pets' safety. Possessions can be replaced, but people, children, and pets cannot.

The next sport we'll talk about might surprise some people, but of course, domestic violence is not limited to being a problem in heterosexual couples or only among cisgender people. Violence is violence and it needs to be called out and prosecuted. The WNBA has a well-developed code of conduct for its players. They agreed to in the 2020 collective bargaining agreement that is valid through 2027. You can see that one at sinspod.co slash WNBA. It covers a lot of things in addition to having a fully separate addendum for domestic violence. So things like gun violence and gambling are also covered. There have been a few cases of domestic violence in the WNBA,

but we're going to focus on Raquanna Williams, who most recently played with the Las Vegas Aces during their back-to-back championship seasons in 2022 and 2023. Ruquanna was born in Pahokee, Florida on May 28, 1990, and attended the University of Florida. She was drafted by the Tulsa Shock, where she played from 2012 to 2015. She had an outstanding first few years in the league, making the All-Rookie Team in 2013, winning the Six-Player Award in 2013, and making the W-rookie team in 2013, winning the six-player award in 2013, and making the WNBA All-Star team in 2015. She also held several records in the league for a while, including the most three-pointers made in a game, eight, and the most points scored,

an impressive 51, a record that stood until 2018. She played for the LA Sparks from 2017 to 2020, but she was plagued by serious injuries, including a back injury after the 2022 finals with the Aces that kept her out for the entire 2023 season, a ruptured Achilles tendon when she was playing for the Sparks in 2016, and some shoulder injuries as well. In December of 2019, she was arrested in her hometown in Florida for assault and burglary. She was accused of assaulting her ex-girlfriend after breaking into her house and then punching her in the face and pulling out her hair. There was a man present at the time when Raquanna forced her way into the apartment, who was there with his 10-year-old son. These two tried to help the

victim, and it took them nearly 10 minutes to break the two women up, and Williams actually threatened the father with a firearm. It is extremely lucky for everyone involved that she chose to drive away that night, and that something much worse didn't end up happening. She was suspended by the league for seven games after the incident, and interestingly, her ex-girlfriend said that she had never been violent before. She was charged with burglary with assault or battery battery and one count of aggravated assault with a firearm. These are two very serious felony charges that could result in life in prison under Florida law. In 2023, about midway through a season in which she had missed every game due to a back injury, she was arrested again in Las Vegas

for domestic battery by strangulation, assault constituting domestic violence with use of a deadly weapon, coercion constituting domestic violence with threat of use of physical force, and domestic battery. This time, though, the violence was directed at her wife, who she married in September of 2022. Her wife almost immediately relocated to Florida, presumably to put some space between the two. Her pattern of behavior seemed to be similar. She stole her partner's phone and got into it, and claimed to have found evidence that she was being unfaithful, leading to the assault and strangulation. We talk about this a lot, but strangulation is absolutely a red line and very often a precursor to murder. Women who are strangled are 600% more likely to be murdered subsequently.

The league suspended Raquanna for 10 games this time, and the Aces precluded her from attending all and any team events. The charges were dropped against her on September 7, 2023. Essentially, the court realized that with a victim who was not willing to cooperate, the grand jury was unlikely to return an indictment, so the charges were dropped for that reason. Raquanna wanted very much to return to the Aces, who were just gearing up for the playoffs, but it never happened. The Aces went on to win the WNBA championship again in 2023, but weirdly, there was never much mention of Raquanna except to mention that she was on the injured list. She never played in the finals that year, though she was technically a member of the team for the second championship. In 2024, she's gone from the roster, and I don't actually recall there being a formal

announcement that she was being released by the Aces. We hope she's getting the help she needs to break this pattern, and we wish her wife well in her recovery. It's October. The WNBA playoffs are happening, the World Series will start later this month, and football season is in full swing. For decades, advocates and fans of the game have been critical of how the NFL handles domestic violence allegations made against its players. One of the most well-known and highly publicized cases of domestic violence in the NFL is Ray Rice's assault of his then-fiancee, Janae. Ray Rice was a running back for the Baltimore Ravens, and anyone who saw that shocking video understands and respects what motivated that decision. But before we get into the video and

the aftermath, do you want to share some background on Janae and Ray? Yes. And this is a really interesting case, and I'm really glad we're sharing it, and it will not end up the way you think it's going to end up, if you haven't heard the case before. Janae Palmer was born in upstate New York on January 14th, 1988. Her mom goes by Candy and her dad's name is Joseph. Janae said that her life growing up was very different from Ray's. Ray Rice is almost exactly a year older than Janae, born on January 22nd, 1987. He grew up in New Rochelle, New York with his mom, Janet Rice. His dad, Calvin Reed, was shot and killed as an innocent bystander in a drive-by shooting

when Ray was only one year old. He then suffered a second loss at 10 years old when his father figure and cousin, Sean Rice Nichols, died in a car accident. He has said that at that point he needed to become the man of the house and look out for his three younger siblings at 10 years old. Janae and Ray's high schools were sports rivals. They met at a movie theater when Janae was 14 and Ray was 15. According to Janae, the two hung out as friends for more than five years before they started dating in 2007. Ray was a tremendously talented and accomplished athlete. When he was

a junior in high school, his school won state. He holds the state record for yards in a single game. He gained 462 yards on 42 carries on October 24th, 2004. He went to college at Rutgers, and while Ray was on the team, Rutgers had its first winning season in 13 years. During his college career, he went on to set and break multiple records. He decided to leave college early and entered the draft in 2008, after his junior year. Janae has said that this is when she knew their relationship had become serious.

Ray confided in her about his decision to leave school. Ray was drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in the second round and signed a $2.8 million four-year contract with a $1.1 million signing bonus. According to Janae, after Ray was drafted, he broke down in tears and asked her to move to Maryland with him, and she agreed. She herself had just finished her first two years of community college and was looking to enroll in a four-year university. Janae enrolled in Towson University and was living in her own apartment. She has said that she was sold on her future with Ray. Janae would later tell ESPN that this first year in Baltimore was hard on the couple. They were

young, rich, and famous. She was working and going to school, and the two were both new to Baltimore and only had each other. Ray was very successful with the Ravens, and any articles you can find about Ray from before the assault are extremely favorable. He was well-liked with a good sense of humor, and the press liked writing stories about him, his relationship with his mom, and the story of how he came from a rough and disadvantaged upbringing, in particular the details of the deaths of his father and his cousin. Reporters wrote about his generosity and his work with the Make-A-Wish Foundation and other organizations. In 2012, he was voted the city of Baltimore's most charitable person,

and he was also named to the Pro Bowl for the third time. Also in 2012, Janae and Ray got engaged, and a few weeks later, Janae found out she was expecting the couple's first child. The 2012 football season ended with the Baltimore Ravens winning the Super Bowl in February of 2013. During that game, Ray had 20 carries for 59 yards and four receptions for 19 yards. All of his successes, his fame, his relationship with Janae, his involvement with his community, all of those factors made the assault so shocking when it occurred. We want to acknowledge that what we share here is largely taken from Janae's own accounts of what happened. She gave extensive interviews to Jemele Hill at ESPN, Gail King on

CBS, and even Matt Lauer. As we mentioned before, Janae had said that things were rough for her and Ray when they first moved to Baltimore. But she thought her relationship with Ray was mostly typical boyfriend-girlfriend. They would argue at times when their daughter Raven was born in 2013, they had some issues adjusting to being parents, they would argue about who was going out too much, that Ray wasn't changing enough diapers, and they weren't spending enough time together. Janae told ESPN that they started going to counseling together in October of 2013, and here is a direct quote from Janae on that. Even though counseling has a certain stigma among both men and women, especially in the African-American community, Ray and I wanted to work toward building better communication between us. I know he wanted to face a lot of things that he went

through in his childhood, like not having a father around. Because he didn't have that, for example, a lot of times we would bicker over little things, and I would tell him, this isn't how a man is supposed to act. At the time, he wasn't mature enough to know that, and I wanted to be able to voice my feelings better. Janae graduated from college with her bachelor's in communications in December of 2013. She said at that point, things were moving in the right direction and felt her relationship with Ray was in a good place. That brings us to Valentine's Day 2014. Janae and Ray had put off their wedding due to the birth of their daughter, but they had plans to marry later that year, and Janae said she was looking forward to a romantic Valentine's Day celebration with just the two of them. However, Ray had planned a group trip to Atlantic City with two

other couples, his brother and his girlfriend, and another couple Ray and Janae were friends with. Janae later admitted she was pretty annoyed that weekend. She tried to plan a surprise couples massage for her and Ray, but the hotel manager accidentally spoiled that surprise. She said that she was irritated because nothing seemed to be going right. And I think I can, and probably a lot of listeners can, relate to what Janae was going through. The two of them had been having a rough time, but things were getting better, and she had one idea in her mind of what she thought the holiday would look like, and this wasn't it for her. On the night of the 14th, the group went out to restaurants and clubs, drinking and having a good time, sharing several bottles of liquor

between them and with fans. At some point, Ray and Janae began bickering. Janae told ESPN that no one in the group can remember what started the argument and that it was something pretty insignificant. She admitted they were both drunk and tired. The group had partied all night until the very early hours of the morning on the 15th. As we mentioned before, there is a recording of this incident. Janae has said that what happened was very foggy. After the altercation, both Ray and Janae were arrested and charged with simple assault. The charges against Janae were dropped, but Ray would later be charged with third-degree aggravated assault. Janae told ESPN that while they were in the police station, Ray kept saying things would be okay and that he was sorry. Ray's attorney, Michael Diamondstein,

said it was a minor altercation and told USA Today, We think the matter of the charges involved will not be substantiated. Ray and Janae Palmer are together. They're in counseling and happy. Neither wish to see the other prosecuted. For some reason, the state of New Jersey prosecuted. As always, we only hope the public reserves judgment until the facts are brought to light. The Ravens said,

This is part of the due process for Ray. We know there is more to Ray Rice than this one incident. Ray and Janae returned home from Atlantic City and braced themselves for the media exposure. Just a few days later, on February 19th, the first video of the incident was made public. The world was stunned to see Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiance out of an elevator. He stood over her for a short time and then walked away as security and police showed up. When Janae's mom saw the tape, she said she confronted him about what he did. Candy told him that she never should have left her like that.

Janae said that she was sick to her stomach and she cried over the video. She said she wanted more of an explanation from him. Ray told both Candy and Janae that he was in shock and terrified after what happened. Ray also told Candy that this was the first and only time anything like this had ever happened in their relationship. On March 27th, Ray was indicted on third-degree assault charges. The following day, Janae and Ray got married. Janae told ESPN that the timing was a coincidence, they already had planned the wedding date far in advance, and family and friends were already expected to attend.

She said that they had been together seven years and engaged for two years, and what happened that night wasn't going to change the fact that they were going to get married on March 28th. In May 2014, Janae agreed to do a press conference at the behest of the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens thought it would be a good thing for Ray to take ownership of what happened, and Janae was willing to do everything in her power to help at that point. Janae has said that her statements made during the press conference were not word-by-word scripted by the NFL or the Ravens, but that she had been asked to make several points. During that press conference, Janae apologized for her role in the incident

that night. She told Matt Lauer later that she wasn't trying to make an excuse for Ray, she was doing what the Ravens had asked her to do. In that interview with Matt Lauer, she also said that she had been arrested, so obviously she had something to apologize for, but she said she would never have made the apology if the Ravens hadn't asked her to. Lauer pointed out that the Ravens tweeted out Janae's apology, but quickly took it down. I want to read another direct quote from Janae here. When it was my turn to speak, I said I regretted my role in the incident.

I know some people disagreed with me publicly apologizing. I'm not saying that what Ray did wasn't wrong. He and I both know it was wrong. It's been made clear to him that it was wrong. But at the same time, who am I to put my hands on somebody? I had already apologized to Ray, and I felt that I should take responsibility for what I did. Even though this followed the Ravens' suggested script, I owned my words. I also wanted to show people that I was supportive of Ray just like I'd always been. At that point, I felt very optimistic that this

would soon be over. The video was already out there. At this point, for Janae and Ray, things were getting back to normal. Ray had been accepted into a diversion program. All criminal charges against him would be dropped so long as he participated in the court-mandated counseling. During that summer, Janae and Ray met with Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL, and shared Murphy of Connecticut sent a letter to Goodell stating, the decision to suspend Mr. Rice for a mere two games sends the inescapable message that the NFL does not take domestic or intimate partner violence with the seriousness they deserve. Players who had used drugs had gotten substantially longer suspensions than Ray did. For example, that August, Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon was suspended for the entire season for using marijuana.

Nevertheless, Ray went to training camp and Janae was hopeful it was all behind them. Everything changed on the morning of September 8th, 2014. TMZ released the video captured inside the elevator and the public was horrified and outraged by what they saw. The recording had no sound, but the couple was obviously arguing. Janae had stated that she was frustrated with Ray. They were arguing, and he was looking at his phone. She grabbed at his phone, and he spit in her face. She slapped him, and he punched her in the jaw. He punched her hard as to what had happened. Janae said that she hasn't watched the second video and will not watch it.

Candy said she was sick when she saw it. She also said that the video made Janae look like a victim of domestic violence to everyone, and Candy says she's not. Janae denies any violence before or since, and told Matt Lauer that she would never allow that to happen to her in front of her kids. Here's another quote from Janae's statement to ESPN. seen abuse, nor have I seen any woman in my family physically abused. I have always been taught to respect myself and never allow myself to be disrespected, especially by a man. Growing up, my father always used to tell my sister and I, we don't need a man to make us. If anything, it's the man who needs us. That same day, Roger Goodell stated he didn't get it right when he only suspended Ray for two games. He announced that Ray would be suspended indefinitely,

and the Baltimore Ravens dropped him from the team. There has been some controversy over whether or not the NFL or Goodell had seen the tape before September 8th. Goodell claimed he hadn't seen it, but a few days later, on September 11th, the AP published evidence from an anonymous source in law enforcement that showed that the tape had been delivered to the NFL security chief in April. Ray appealed the indefinite suspension and won. An arbitrator overturned the NFL, stating that Ray never lied or misled the NFL at all about the incident. Effectively, he was being punished twice for the same incident, just because the tape had come out. Ray would also later sue the league for funds due on his contract, claiming wrongful termination. The case was settled, and it was determined that Ray had been upfront from the start,

but it was the NFL who attempted to cover up or minimize the event. In 2016, Ray tried to persuade a team to sign him to play in the NFL by stating his entire salary would be donated to a domestic violence agency, but no one offered him a contract. Ray's career in the NFL was over. But this is not where the story ends. We thought it was important to talk about this case because it highlights how lenient the NFL has been when it comes to domestic violence. What Ray did to Janae and how the public and the NFL reacted was one of the key incidents that helped push the NFL into stricter and consistent policies. Another reason why we wanted to talk about this case was because of the extraordinary work Ray has done over the past decade to address the root

causes of violence in himself. He has demonstrated a clear dedication to working on himself and his relationship with Janae, and he continues to share his experience to help educate the public about domestic violence. Josh Dean, a journalist with Men's Journal, spent time with Ray for an article published in May of 2022. This article goes into significant detail of what Ray did and continues to do after the assault. Josh wrote, after he set his life on fire, Ray Rice actually had two options. He could hold up, hide out, and vanish, a tarnished figure who would eventually fade away, or he could step right out into the maelstrom and begin to rehabilitate himself. Ray chose the latter. He was determined to make things right and improve himself for his wife and

his daughter. Ray completed his court-mandated counseling, but he didn't stop once he finished the year that was required. He continued to participate in therapy. In an interview with Gayle King, Ray discussed what he had been able to learn about himself through the counseling he had received. He said that before the incident, he never wanted to ask for help, and he didn't recognize that there were different kinds of abuse, not just physical abuse, but emotional and financial abuse as well. His assault forced him to examine his childhood and his upbringing, and he said that he was

told to be the man of the house and not to cry. He said that he was told to be the man of the house and not to cry. He said that he was a man at age 11, but a boy at age 21. He had normalized things that should not have been normalized. He has adamantly stated that he hates the person he saw in the videos of the assault. He also stated that nothing like that had ever happened before in his relationship, but if it's one time, it's still too many. What I found interesting is that Ray does not miss football. He sees football as being one of the factors that led to the assault. He has stated that football was giving him cover to ignore his issues. And when he was under the pressure of playing football,

that was the version of him that he hated the most. He said he didn't deserve a second chance at football after what he did. The second chance he wanted was the second chance he got with his wife and his family, and that was all that mattered to him. In the interview with CBS News, Ray said, there's a difference between being a man and the man. I believe there are two types of people, right, as a man. You get to be the man, and you get to be a man and the man. I believe there are two types of people, right? As a man, you get to be the man and you get to be a man. You can only be the man for a moment. Over my career through high school, I was the man, but you get to make a conscious choice to be a man for a lifetime. Ray has spoken at dozens of colleges and high schools. He never minimizes or excuses what he did.

His goal is always to educate other young men and prevent them from becoming abusers. Ravens president Sashi Brown said, He was also consistently in the community, giving back. Importantly, after Ray's incident, he owned it. On his own accord, Ray undertook critical work within himself and to bring awareness to and to educate others on domestic violence. Nothing will change his past or make it right. But Ray's work has allowed him to atone for his actions and rebuild relationships personally and professionally, including with the Ravens.

Janae has said she gave him a second chance because she had known him since he was 15 years old, and she knew in that moment it wasn't him. It wasn't who he was. Both Ray and Janae have said that they've talked about this incident as a family, and their daughter, who's now 12, because it will come to light one day. As we said, Ray never tried to hide from what he did. He not only talked with mental health professionals, he also talked with advocates and listened to survivors of domestic violence. He has donated time and money to domestic violence agencies. According to Ray, he did a bad thing. He was punished for that bad thing, and that's the way it's supposed to work. I think that what's key here is that Ray never lied. He never made excuses.

He admitted what he did and said it was wrong. He never blamed Janae or anyone other than himself. He worked and continued to work on himself right from the start. He didn't make any false promises to his wife. He didn't just give lip service to getting help. He sought help and stuck with it. Janae and Ray are still married and they have a 7-year-old son in addition to their daughter. On Sunday, December 31, 2023, Ray was honored by the Ravens as a legend of the game.

The Ravens' statement said, Rice is being recognized for the player he was and for the redemption he has worked toward. This episode, we also wanted to draw attention to the policies of sports and discuss what leagues can do to prevent violence and support survivors. It's important to note here that forcing someone into counseling won't magically fix the problem. Ray was committed to the process and to his family, and he knew real change wasn't going to happen overnight. While Ray says that getting away from football helped him be a better person, it would be short-sighted to assume that suspending a player or kicking them out of the league would solve the issues with using control or violence against their partners.

Since 2014, the NFL has worked on revising their policies in regards to domestic violence. Roger Goodell has rightfully faced a lot of criticism during his time as commissioner. We mentioned earlier how a player was suspended for an entire season for using weed. Here's another example. In 2018, Michael Kendricks was suspended for eight games for insider trading, while Tampa Bay Bucs quarterback Jameis Winston was suspended for three games after he was accused of groping a female Uber driver. And Ravens cornerback Jimmy Smith was suspended for four games for domestic violence, all in that same year. NFL policy as of 2022 is a minimum suspension of six games without pay, and that certain factors such as using a gun, children being present, choking and strangulation can enhance that punishment, but complying with counseling and with the investigation can lessen the punishment.

A second violation is banishment from the NFL. The policies also include providing support for victims, such as therapy, social services, and even security. We are grateful to the advocates who continue to raise these issues. When more than half of the arrests of NFL players are for domestic violence crimes, it seems that punishment won't always be the answer, and more needs to be done to prevent these crimes. When aggression is seen as a virtue in sports, we can understand how players like Ray Rice observed that the sport itself was providing cover for his unresolved issues. I don't think any sport wants to have a reputation for being lenient with abusers, and many want to do the right thing. Over the last 10 years, Ray Rice has changed, and the NFL and MLB seem willing to listen and adapt

policies. Some of that is influenced by public pressure, and we should all continue to press the leagues when their policies fall short or don't serve victims and families. But not all sports treat domestic violence with the seriousness it requires. Next week, we have three more cases related to domestic violence in sports, covering stories from MMA and boxing, but we will also be covering one of the most prominent cases in sports and true crime involving a former Olympian. Also, we have a very special announcement. We now have a Patreon tier that is only $1 a month, which gives you ad-free access to all of our regular episode releases. We will also offer the $3 a month tier that includes our weekly bonus episodes as well.

Just go to sinspod.co slash Patreon to subscribe. As we mentioned, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and all month long, we will be bringing you some special collaborations and episodes from our colleagues in true crime so we can highlight important stories from outside of Las Vegas.

Thank you as always for listening. If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a review or share our episode with a friend. Until next week, remember what happens here, happens everywhere. To be continued... Facebook, TikTok, and threads at Sins and Survivors. If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a review on your podcast platform of choice. You can contact us at questions at sinsandsurvivors.com. If you or someone you know is affected by domestic violence or needs support, please reach out to local resources or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. A list of resources is available on our website, sinsandsurvivors.com.

Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas true crime podcast, is research written and produced by your hosts, Sean and John. The information shared in this podcast is accurate at the time of recording. If you have questions, concerns, or corrections, please email us. Links to source material for this episode can be found on our website, sinsandsurvivors.com.