Sins & Survivors: A Las Vegas True Crime Podcast - Teen Dating Violence Awareness

Starting point is 00:00:00 To listen ad-free, visit Zinspod.co slash subscribe. Starting at $2.99 a month, you'll also get access to our exclusive bonus content episodes when you join through Patreon or Apple subscriptions. Thanks for supporting the show. We talk a lot in the podcast about domestic violence in married couples, and we've shared cases of domestic violence among couples who were dating. But today we're focusing on domestic violence in a group we don't often cover, teenagers. Growing up is hard, dating is hard, and learning what is acceptable and what isn't in a first relationship is something that people have to fumble their way through if the

Starting point is 00:00:35 behavior isn't modeled correctly by a trusted adult. Teenagers need their parents, guardians, or other adults to teach them right from wrong as they grow up, and how to act when dating isn't an exception. So today we'll talk about that, and offer a recent example of young love gone horribly wrong. Hi, and welcome to Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas true crime podcast where we focus on cases that deal with domestic violence as well as missing persons and unsolved cases. I'm your host, Sean. And I'm your co-host, John. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and we wanted to dedicate this episode to talking about teen dating violence and providing resources for young people that you can share with the tweens and teens in your life. John and I are

Starting point is 00:01:25 very aware of the sensitive nature of teens in the justice system and being able to consent to their stories being told. For this episode, we chose this case as an illustration of what dating violence or an abusive relationship between teens can look like. I did try to find more examples, but it's likely that when dating violence involves two minors, that it will be handled by the juvenile court and the records may never become public. We are going to share a story of a crime that occurred in Las Vegas, but out of respect for the youth involved, we decided that even though the story was covered in the news, we are going to change the names of everyone involved and alter some of the details, the exact dates and locations, to protect their privacy.

Starting point is 00:02:05 Normally, when we share the story of a crime with you, we want to center the victims and survivors and share as much information about them as we can. But to be honest, this week, given their ages, I didn't really try too hard to find out more about them. According to loveisrespect.org, one in three teenagers will experience some form of dating violence before they become adults. The types of abuse experienced by teens are the same as adults, controlling behavior, physical and sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. We talked last month about how relationships play out in the media, and as we're growing up, it can be difficult to tell when a relationship crosses

Starting point is 00:02:41 from the healthy into the unhealthy, and that's true especially when you're a teen and have limited life and relationship experience. Things that are just part of being a teenager, like learning how to communicate, deal with conflict, being vulnerable to peer pressure, put people at risk for both perpetrating and experiencing dating violence. We have created a short link to Love Is Respect's quiz to take to determine whether or not your relationship is healthy at sinspod.co slash warning signs. So you can take that test yourself or pass it along to a friend. One aspect of abusive relationships that comes up again and again for teens is jealousy and controlling behavior. It's hard to know what is normal or expected in relationship when you're just starting dating. Issues like your boyfriend or girlfriend telling you,

Starting point is 00:03:31 I need to know where you are always. If you love me, you won't spend time with other people. I need you to stop talking to other guys or girls because you might cheat and I get jealous. When you're just learning about setting boundaries, you can see how wanting to see your partner all the time or feelings of insecurity can move a relationship from healthy and safe to unhealthy and toxic. Here are some warning signs that your child's relationship has become abusive. Extreme jealousy or possessiveness from their partner, constant emails, texts, and calls from their partner. if they're experiencing depression or anxiety or a decreased interest in things that they used to enjoy doing, isolation from other

Starting point is 00:04:11 friends and family members, and maybe even changes in their appearance and unexplained marks and injuries. Teens get mixed messages about love, respect, and dating, and many wind up thinking that jealousy means true love. This may lead to their privacy being violated, or their boyfriend or girlfriend pressuring them into sharing their location always, not to mention the pressure to engage in sex and other physical signs of affection, which some may believe is a sign of commitment, or expected or required, of being in a relationship. Even adults struggle with boundaries, so of course these issues are even more challenging for teens to navigate. Many are able to recognize when things are escalating and break off an abusive or toxic relationship, but as we've talked about too many times before on

Starting point is 00:04:55 this podcast, leaving isn't always easy and isn't always a guarantee of safety. We should teach teens about healthy boundaries, consent, and respect starting at an early age, and there are resources in the show notes for that. And for parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and mentors, there is a wealth of guidance and support out there, and we invite you to check out lovesrespect.org for information on how to support and guide the teens in your life. One of our favorite resources is the Pixel Project, which offers 16 tips on how men can teach and model respect to the boys and young men in their lives. You can find that at the short link sinspod.co slash teaching. I recommend reading through these or passing them along to a man in

Starting point is 00:05:39 your life to read through. So many of them are really easy to implement, and they can really help in formative years. The easiest one might be number nine, do the dishes. That's a simple thing, and it's something that really should be shared by everyone in a healthy household. This really goes for all household chores, though, including things like cooking dinner. If your young son sees that these chores are shared among everyone in the house, regardless of gender, they'll be much less likely to think of things as women's work as they grow up. A secondary benefit to this one is you'll end up with a teenager who knows how to fend for himself when he goes to college or out into the world, cooking his own food and doing his own laundry.

Starting point is 00:06:19 I don't know how many times I've read Reddit posts where women complain that the men they're with expect them to do all the household chores, and it puts a strain on the relationship. Another great one is number 10, cultivate EQ or emotional intelligence. Personally, I didn't really formally understand the concept of EQ until I was well into adulthood, but understanding this when you're growing up will really pay dividends in your life and relationships. EQ, of course, is about self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills. I know that our listeners are wondering how social media and technology can play a role in teen dating violence. Can we take a minute and talk about that? Sure. About 25% of teens have reported that their partners have abused them through the

Starting point is 00:07:04 use of technology. This digital abuse is part of a larger pattern of abuse and controlling behavior that can include things like forcing you to share your passwords, forcing you to put a tracker on or share your location, sending you multiple messages a day, especially while you're at work or school or spending time with friends, sending you harassing messages or even insulting messages, pressuring you to send nude pics or sending you unwanted nude pics, monitoring your social media activity, or catfishing you or hacking into your accounts and impersonating you. Also, we talked about how jealousy is a major issue for teens. A recent

Starting point is 00:07:43 study from Arizona State University showed how social media a major issue for teens. A recent study from Arizona State University showed how social media interactions can fuel that jealousy. The study found that adolescents often feel upset and jealous when their partner likes someone else's post, especially if that person is the same gender as themselves. These feelings can lead to behaviors like confronting their partner or monitoring their social media activity. The study emphasizes that such social media interactions are not trivial to teens. They can be deeply distressing and may contribute to unhealthy relationship dynamics. One thing I want to mention is that social media can actually be a helpful tool for teens experiencing dating violence. While it's true that social media can be used for stalking,

Starting point is 00:08:24 harassment, or spreading harmful messages, but it can also be a lifeline for victims trying to reach out for help. Social media can provide anonymous online communities. Places like Reddit and support groups on Facebook allow teens to seek advice from others who have been through similar situations, sometimes even connecting them with professionals who can guide them towards safety. There are also built-in tools that can protect privacy. Apps like Snapchat and Instagram's Vanish Mode allow messages to disappear after being read, making it safer to reach out for help without leaving a trace that an abuser could find. There are also groups and creators that work to keep people safe by spreading awareness. In Australia, there's an entire Facebook community

Starting point is 00:09:04 where women can warn each other about abusive partners, which helps to protect others from falling into dangerous situations. And some content creators and survivors share their stories and discuss red flags and relationships on their platforms. Some of us know better simply because we live through it, but teens can learn from positive examples and cautionary tales. These stories can help guide young people when they are navigating their relationships. Of course, social media should always be used cautiously, especially when someone is in an abusive relationship. But for teens who might feel trapped or isolated, it can provide an important way to seek help without their abuser knowing. On to this week's case. Just a reminder that, as I said, while the facts of this case are

Starting point is 00:09:46 true, we decided not to use the real names or exact dates to protect the young people involved. Caleb and Isabel started dating when they were both 14 years old. According to Isabel, after about a year of dating, Caleb started showing some possessive and jealous behavior. He became obsessed with the idea of her talking to and seeing other guys, and he would take her phone to look through it. He started threatening her and saying things like, you aren't going to play me, you can't be with other guys, and if you leave me, I will fucking kill you. From there, his abuse escalated from emotional to physical. At one point when they were in school together, Caleb punched Isabel in the face and even started making threats against her family.

Starting point is 00:10:28 Court documents stated that Caleb had choked Isabel, meaning he strangled her, which is a tremendous red flag for a relationship becoming fatal. Women who are strangled are at an extremely elevated risk of being murdered by their partner. Their relationship lasted three years, throughout nearly the entire time in high school together. With the support of her family, Isabel was able to end things with Caleb during their senior year, and she obtained a restraining order against him. Even though they had broken up, Caleb did not stop his possessive, controlling behavior. He continued to threaten her, repeatedly saying that he was going to kill her if she played him, which it's not really clear what that means. The threats became more frequent over the winter and spring of their senior year,

Starting point is 00:11:09 as he continued acting jealously and being obsessed that she might be dating someone else. One day in early April, Caleb was texting Isabel over and over, blowing up her phone, demanding to know where she was. It turned out that she was hanging out with her friend Dylan. They were sitting in Dylan's car, parked in front of Isabel's family home. Isabel told investigators that she suddenly saw Caleb standing outside the driver's side window and that she saw fire. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening, but both she and Dylan had been shot multiple times through the window and Dylan had been seriously injured. Caleb opened the door, lifted her out of the car, and carried her to his truck. As she was starting to lose consciousness, she noticed that Caleb had a friend with him who was holding a gun.

Starting point is 00:11:54 She heard Caleb tell him to clean the gun and get rid of it. The two then drove away with her in the truck, and as they drove, Caleb continued threatening her, telling her that if she told anyone what happened, he would kill her. And if Dylan was someone that she was messing with, meaning hooking up with, he would kill her. She then lost consciousness, but Caleb and his friend had driven her to the hospital. Caleb's friend dropped the two of them off and then left in the truck. Caleb and his friend had left Dylan shot and bleeding in the car in front of the house, but thankfully a family member drove Dylan and his car to the hospital. When they arrived, hospital staff noticed a cell phone on the hood of the car,

Starting point is 00:12:35 which was determined to be Caleb's. Dylan had been shot six times, including in his head, face, and chest, but somehow, miraculously, he survived the attack. Isabel had been shot twice, but neither injury was life-threatening. Once she was out of surgery, she told the police that Caleb was the one who had shot them, but when the police questioned Caleb, he denied he was involved and gave them a fake name. During the investigation, the police located additional witnesses who said they saw Caleb approach the car and start shooting. While the gun was never recovered, the police did recover five shell casings from the scene. Caleb was placed under arrest and charged with two counts each of attempted murder and battery

Starting point is 00:13:14 and with discharging a weapon into an occupied vehicle. His bail was set at $100,000, which he posted. He was ordered to have no contact with the victims and was placed under electronic monitoring pending the trial. The trial started more than a year later, and Caleb was tried as an adult. The prosecution had a very strong case since Isabel was able to testify against him. Unfortunately, though, many of the incidents of prior abuse were not allowed to come into the trial. This was partly because Caleb was a minor when he committed those acts of assault, battery, and stalking against Isabel, but also because those acts were considered too prejudicial and not close enough in time to the shooting. The prosecution was able to bring in evidence of his behavior and the escalating threats that had occurred within the last six months leading up to the shooting. During her testimony, Isabel stated that she never actually saw Caleb shoot,

Starting point is 00:14:07 nor did she see him holding the gun. She assumed he was the person who shot her because he was the only one she saw outside of the car immediately before she and Dylan were shot. The prosecution also argued that Caleb's cell phone was found on the hood of Dylan's car, making it much more likely that Isabel's assumptions were correct. She also testified that after the shooting, Caleb told her in not-so-coded language that the flowers were only intended for Dylan. Isabel knew that Caleb wasn't talking about

Starting point is 00:14:36 flowers, of course. He was talking about the shooting, and she understood this to mean that Caleb only intended to shoot Dylan, not her. The defense argued that since Caleb was the one who brought Isabel to the hospital and remained there, he was clearly not guilty of shooting her. The police were already present at the hospital, so since he hadn't fled, he couldn't have been the one who had shot them. Also, no gunshot residue was detected on his hands, and the weapon was never recovered. With Isabel's testimony, it wasn't a surprise that the jury returned a verdict of guilty, but the verdict was confusing and that would become a key point of contention on appeal.

Starting point is 00:15:10 For count one, the charge was attempted murder with use of a deadly weapon. The jury was given three choices for a verdict, guilty of attempted murder with the use of a deadly weapon, guilty of attempted murder, or not guilty. For count two, the count was battery with the use of a deadly weapon, guilty of attempted murder, or not guilty. For count two, the count was battery with the use of a deadly weapon, resulting in substantial bodily harm, constituting domestic violence. The choices for the verdict range in severity from guilty of battery with use of a deadly weapon, resulting in substantial bodily harm, constituting domestic violence, to simply guilty of battery, and of course, not guilty. We've spoken before on the podcast about the deadly weapon enhancement and how they serve to

Starting point is 00:15:51 add additional years to a sentence. In Nevada, when constituting domestic violence is added to a charge, it becomes a sentencing enhancement that makes the crime a non-probational offense. The jury found him guilty of attempted murder and of battery with substantial bodily harm. Note that they did not find him guilty of using a deadly weapon or that the acts constituted domestic violence. And for the third charge of discharging a firearm in a structure or vehicle, they found him not guilty. Given the facts and testimony in the case, you might think it's confusing how the jury could have come to these conclusions. How could Caleb be guilty of attempted murder for shooting Dylan and Isabel, but not guilty

Starting point is 00:16:34 of firing a gun into the car? The defense immediately argued that the verdict needed to be thrown out because it was inconsistent, but the judge denied that request. We'll discuss that more in a moment. Caleb was sentenced to a minimum of seven years with a maximum of 25 years. The district court explicitly recognized that Caleb was a juvenile with limited life experience at the time of the offense. The judge agreed with the defense's argument during sentencing that minors process information and regulate their behavior differently than adults and noted that Caleb is still in the process of maturing. While the court identified

Starting point is 00:17:11 several aggravating factors, it decided against imposing the maximum sentence, citing Caleb's youth as a significant consideration. About two years after the sentencing, Caleb appealed, arguing that there was insufficient evidence to support his conviction. The court reviewed Isabel's testimony that we mentioned above. He was the only person she had seen outside of the car before the shooting. He had been threatening to harm her, his phone was found on the car, and he had made that flowers comment to her after the shooting. The court determined that all of that was enough to convict Caleb beyond a reasonable doubt, so the appeal failed on that argument. They also argued that the verdict was inconsistent. Since the jury acquitted him of discharging a firearm at or into an occupied

Starting point is 00:17:56 vehicle and did not convict him of using a deadly weapon to commit the crimes, the jury could not have found that he shot the victims. As we said, those verdicts are inconsistent. His defense attorney stated that this verdict hinted that it was likely that they believed Caleb was involved in the shooting in some way, maybe as a co-conspirator with his friend, but they must not have believed he was the one who had ultimately fired the gun that night. However, based on case law, the court ruled that a verdict being inconsistent is not reason enough to toss it out. They explained that while an inconsistent verdict could be the result of juror error, it's also likely that the jury reached their conclusions as a form of compromise or

Starting point is 00:18:37 clemency. I could see that being true. And as we noted, he was young at the time of the crime, and this may have been a way for the jury to reach a verdict they all agreed on, or that they felt would result in an appropriate punishment. As of today, Caleb is serving his sentence in Nevada State Prison, where he will be eligible for parole in two years. We don't know where Isabel or Dylan are now, but we hope that they're doing well, and we're grateful that they survived this horrific crime. A 2019 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association on Adolescent Homicide found that of the 2,000 youths between 11 and 18 years old that were murdered between 2003 and 2016, 150 of them were killed by their current or former partners, and 90% of those victims were girls. The study also revealed that just like intimate partner violence between adults,

Starting point is 00:19:33 the presence of a gun and when the girl tries to leave the relationship were the biggest factors in whether or not teen dating violence becomes lethal. We want to encourage parents or guardians to have these conversations with teens. Futures Without Violence has some great resources for starting the conversation. For example, they mentioned asking your teen or tween, how would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend was constantly checking your Instagram page or sneaking a peek at your phone to see who you talk to? Why might that make you feel uncomfortable? And just let your teen answer the question and go from there. During the conversation, Futures Without Violence suggests a few key points you might want to bring up with your kid, like you have the right to be friends with people outside your

Starting point is 00:20:11 dating relationship. It's not okay for someone you're seeing to control who your friends are or who you hang out with. A respectful relationship is built on mutual trust. It's not okay for someone to constantly monitor where you are, what you're doing, or who you're talking with. And also, keep your passwords safe and a secret to help protect yourself. John and I are parents of a teenager, and we know how tough or awkward it can be to talk about these things. I know that things that John and I have done in the past are to look at examples we can

Starting point is 00:20:42 find in real life or in TV or movies. We once used a scene from the TV show Ozark to drive home a point that I wanted to make about teens drinking and gun safety. I've also been known to read an am I the asshole post from Reddit that sounds like a relationship full of red flags to me just to see what our teen thinks about it and get that conversation started. It's important to let them answer and reason these things out for themselves and provide guidance. Nobody knows these things automatically, but this is a great way for them to learn. We want to remind you that you can find resources in our show notes for how to talk to young people about domestic violence.

Starting point is 00:21:21 Loveisrespect.org also operates a 24-7 hotline, text, and online chat for teen dating abuse. Their number is 866-331-9474, and you can also text LOVEIS, all one word, to 22522. Their hotline is for teens, but also for parents, teachers, siblings, and friends, anyone who has questions or needs support. access to our swing shift bonus episodes and ad-free versions of every episode. You can also take a moment and leave us a positive review on whatever platform you're listening on, which helps the show reach more listeners so we can get these important cases and information out more widely. If you have cases you'd like us to cover, please email us at podcast at sinsandsurvivors.com with your suggestions and also any feedback. Thank you as always for listening, and we remind you that what happens here happens everywhere. Thanks for listening. Visit sinspod.co slash subscribe for exclusive bonus content and to listen ad-free. Remember to like and follow us on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and Threads

Starting point is 00:23:00 at Sins and Survivors. If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave us a review on your podcast platform of choice. You can contact us at questions at sinsandsurvivors.com. If you or someone you know is affected by domestic violence or needs support, please reach out to local resources or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. A list of resources is available on our website, sinsandsurvivors.com. Sins and Survivors, a Las Vegas true crime podcast, is research written and produced by your hosts, Sean and John. The information shared in this podcast is accurate at the time of recording. If you have questions,

Starting point is 00:23:34 concerns, or corrections, please email us. Links to source material for this episode can be found on our website, sinsandsurvivors.com.

Your Ad Here

Sins & Survivors: A Las Vegas True Crime Podcast - Teen Dating Violence Awareness

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.