SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 07 - [SleepyCast_Halloween-Special.wav]

Episode Date: October 31, 2014

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There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of bleeding bodies, screaming mouths, drowning in pussy flesh, buried deep beneath the bloody corpses of babies tucked away neatly in the folds of running flesh. He's a bunch of guys. He's a bunch bullshitter. Welcome to the Sleepy Cabin podcast. A special spooky Halloween special.

Spectacular. Spooktacular. Boo. Watch out, kids. I'm Stamper TV, and I'm here with Cory Spaskin. Zach Pebbles. Chris O'Ne.

Johnny Yud. And we're going to have a spooktacular evening. If you're ready to shit your pants, well, guess what? That's going to Your buskiss like that. All right, gentlemen.

So Halloween, it's a nice time of year. The leaves are changing colors. It's crisp. It is a nice time of year. I do love autumn. Autumn is a great. I love one of the leaves. It's a bit chilly.

You walk around. Refreshing. You drink your hot cocoa by the fire. Aesthetically. I actually have a hot cocoa right now. The Jews turn brown. Shut up. Aesthetically.

You're on early tonight. Okay. I just wanted to get that on the system. God. The Jews change colors and fall out of trees. Be fall out of trees and trees. triple up and come back with this phrase. You know, you're always

been very festive about Halloween. I'm festive. You're the most festive guy of always. You got really excited last year. I've worn a Christmas sweater. Jeff, last year, you actually dressed him like Superman, and you're like, oh, I'm strong. Technicality.

Yeah, last year you, you actually came to a house and you started getting kids treats and kiss him on the forehead and patty him away. I came over and you guys were so excited. You had like 30 bags of candy. You were ready to hand them out to a bunch of little trick-or-treat. We did Halloween fucking nice last year, except nobody came to the door. No one told me what you did last year? You answered the door and you said we don't have any trees.

But how about a kiss from old Jeff down the street? You kiss them on the other than you said, don't tell your parents. These streets are only from Jeff. And they're all your friends. How about we stop telling lies? But we tell the truth. Fight your finger, the world are the same thing. You know, Zach, the truth is stranger than fiction. That's what I say.

Jeff, what happened on that fateful light one year ago? So the door rang one time, late, late in the door. at night. After everybody kind of gave up and I was the only one kind of near the door and I'm like, all right guys, here we go. Time to get in the spirit of Halloween. You're a fucking liar. You were not that peppy. That's true. I was. You can skip the door. You skipped the hands. So I swung open the door and it was one little black girl. He really wasn't even that little. She was more like a teenager. She was like to say one little girl. Yeah, Jeff. What's the deal? I don't see color, Jeff. I don't know. Well, she wasn't giving me the fuck me eyes. I'll tell.

She was black. It's Philadelphia. There was a black girl. So the girls at the door. She's in the door. Give you the fuck. She wasn't wearing a costume because, I don't know. I guess she had a frown on her face and she's like, hey, give me candy or something like that. These kids that go around on Halloween without a, without a costume and just sort of... One candy anyways without having to put in the effort. It's very cynically, very cynically go door to or begging for candy without any effort involved whatsoever.

Because they don't have money. No, they just don't give a fuck. They just don't give a fuck. Then what you were putting it after not putting it for themselves. And I just kind of frowned at her and gave her three bags and um Three bags of candy? We had like 80 of them. Yeah, we had the shitload. It's usually the only trick-or-treater too.

And I just said, get lost. We got one more trick-or-treater and it was like this little girl in a princess costume and her pops was there. And he was like super psyched that we gave her a bunch of candy and we were really happy. When you were kids, you never had those houses on the street that used to just put out a big bowl of candy and fucking bail for the night. And there was like always one kid on the street. Yeah, yeah. He'd be like, take one piece. And there was one ass,

and was like, fuck, and he just poured the whole thing in his day, and his bag and leave. I went to a neighbor's house, they forgot it was Halloween, and they gave me two sticks of gum. That's the worst. Because they didn't have candy.

Oh, wow. That's the worst. At least they gave you something. When it comes to die? Oh, I guess. Did you guys ever trade candy with your clothes for kisses? Hey, not everyone in my family was molested by me. Listen, calling you would say,

kiss on a peepie gets me two roost pieces. What, you? I bargained with him. Two racist places. Should we talk about the costumes we wore? Jeff Ritchie wears a kid. Well, all I remember, I don't remember much.

I remember I was a smurf. Then I was Dracula. I had the very stereotypical shitty Dracula costume with the pendant, the gold pendant, with the little room in the center. And the fake fucking lids. And the fangs and the cape. And then a few years ago, I went to another Halloween party

I dressed as Judd Nelson from the Breakfast Club. Cool. You ever see the breakfast club? The main dude? The jerk. Oh, he's cool. Not even close. I even, I got the boots, I bought the pants, I bought the flannel.

This was a couple years ago? Yeah. That's weird, dude. You could dress he up for Halloween a couple years ago. I was, I really was against it, but I folded. That's not even really a costume. You just go out looking like an asshole. I was.

Because in the movie, he talks about his father burning with a cigar. I put the cigar burn on my arm. I'm painting the cigar burn. No, that's a clip. Wait, what is this? Was this like a school special? This was a sexy Halloween party. It was a Halloween party.

No, he's talking about the breakfast. I don't know what the breakfasts are. Oh, it's a movie. Oh, well, of course you wouldn't want. It's a good movie, so of course you haven't seen it. I only watch bad movies. It's a good movie. It's a good movie.

The Breakfast Club is like a Disney channel show. It's a breakfast club. Welcome to the Breakfast Club. It's a bunch of kids from all different cliques in the high school, and they all have detention together on like a Saturday. And they all hate each other, and they all end up getting along at the end. It's really funny and heartwarming.

It's really funny and heartworm. Stamberwood is a sexy slut last year and you were the character two fucking days after it's a costume bar You did the voice too. Yeah is that like the famous thing? I was like don't you Yeah, forget about that's it. Yeah, sorry continue exactly what you said I was gonna say last year Stanford got really enthusiastic dressed up like a girl but he did a girl voice like a I just like a witch son yeah but you did a creepy girl voice and you wouldn't stop doing it you're like hey cari what do you think about tannies and he was like uh after you took the costume off you were like a day after you were walking like hey Boys, it doesn't go.

Excuse me. I'll tell you something, if you go to the shoe store and sit and spend an hour in the women's section, trying on women's shoes, you better go all out with everything. You've even tipped your dick up into your belly and pushed your balls together and look like a pussy. Yeah, you push my dick backwards and stuffed it up my own ass. Oh, that's what you do. Do you ever watch this YouTube videos where people will show you how to make a pussy with

like saran, like, tape and shit? What? What the fuck? That's where all our saran wrap went. Asshole! How are you fucking Saran rat? What is Saranerat? A great film. For all our loser-failured listeners that are probably sitting at home on Halloween.

Jeff, get the fuck out. That was mean, apologize. I'm getting to a point here. I'm saying, I'm trying to help them. I'm trying to help them. Go. I'm saying if they're at home listening to this terrible podcast and they're not out having fun like Corey, we should suggest.

I've had my own fun in my head. We should suggest some scary movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I like you all. Thank you. But scary movies. You're like you've already burned every bit. You're going to kill you though. Jeff, let's start with you and go down to Corey. What's your favorite scary Halloween movie? Um,

I like, I like Alien for like a serious horror movie. Yeah. And for a silly horror movie, I like this movie called Basketcase. Oh, Basketcase. I like that movie. It's kind of on and off Netflix at times,

but yeah, it's basically a guy. He has a, what do you call that when you're born with, like, a tats? Siamies twins. Simeys is it? They don't like the... That's not the proper term. Conjoined.

It's a conjoined. Yeah, so, yeah, his mutant brother was conjoined, and they cut him off, and he put him up in a picnic basket, and he's been living with his brother in this picnic basket, and the guy goes around killing people. It's fucking ridiculous. Yeah, we should definitely watch that. I mean, you know, it's probably a popular choice, but the Evil Dead trilogy is a good movie. That's always a good one.

Oh, man, Army of Tartness is... Yeah, you know, people are divided on that, but I like that movie. Yeah, it must have been, yeah. Are you telling me, like, the, like, the, like, the Skellie and, Tides of like fucking like wheelchairs on fire rolling down this is the problem this is the problem people who like the first movie it was kind of You mean the first one or the second one which is the first one again The very very I think the very first or the very first one was not aiming to be like outright comedy It was sort of no

And then it was campy the second one was kind of like a little bit It was still kind of mostly horror but kind of silly and campy but then the third one was more trying to be Outright comedy yeah I think that's where turns people off but I still think it works I like it. It's different. The third movie is so different that it's fun. Yeah. Like if you're told someone it's a sequel to a Cabin of the Woods movie, they'd be like what? No, it's still makes it laugh So different. No, I like it. Although I kind of I like the I like the original ending. There's a director's cut, but yeah, but it's a solid movie What do you Chris? My favorite actual scary movie is the thing. The thing? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I can agree with that that. That might be one. It's a remake? No, no. Oh wait.

Well, the movie that's a remake. The very original one is like the thing for the thing for the thing. from outer space. The thing from the 80s. Yeah, Kurt Russell. The one with, if you have the other movies. I love that movie.

I would see the original because I don't like the original. Dude, yeah, if you haven't seen the thing yet from the 80s with Kurt Russell, it's fucking awesome. It's fucking awesome. I think it has the best scary atmosphere

of any movie ever. It's great, like, effects. Yeah, practical effects. Yeah, the atmosphere is perfect. Like, they can get a lot across about doing too much. The music is like, it's all like 80s synth,

but it's like the most suited soundtrack ever and it's so it's just the atmosphere is so perfect I think If I recall correctly, is it Wilfribrillian that? Yeah, he goes crazy Yeah, oh he smashes the thing with the edge right? Wolframlea. Fucking computer? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my favorite actual scary

movie, my favorite, like, I guess, funny scary movie's return to the Living Dead. I saw it, I saw it recently for the first time. It's really fun, it's a really fun movie. It's really fun movie. It's awesome. It's also, like, fucking fantastically shot. Yeah, it's... How they, like, get like, I love that, like, dirt angles and shit where it shows like going into the coffin.

I feel like people get turned off thinking it's like a spin-off. And the third one is heinous. Also, like, Zobb movies of the last like 20 years, 15 years have all been like a virus of just crazy people. Yeah. I like the, I kind of like the fact that it's just dead guys. Yeah, it was fun. I like the fact that Zubbies talk too, they say brunties. It's so cheesy but they do it well.

They can think in that movie. It's really funny. Yeah, you should watch it. There is a really hot chick in it too. Oh, God, yes. She's so hot. They put a little piece of cellot tape over a pussy. They keep her in.

They keep her in. Okay, Zach, you... Zach, your scary movie. Scare movie 5. That is terrifying. Uh, like, if I generic an asshole for sake, Donna of the Dead, 2005. I love that movie. It's a good movie.

It's not scary, though. It's not really, I would... A lot of people hate on it, but it's alright. Is it one with the ring rames in it? It's a good movie, but I don't know if it would scare me. I would call it, it's a horror. It's a good point. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't get scared that often. I don't know. I can't really say movie that actually scared me. No, no. explain that. Not a fan of movie with cheap jump scares, but that movie was alright. The cadre? Yeah. I think it had two cool points. It had one part where they're playing where the game where they all hide and seek, but they knock and you have to follow that person. They had one part at the beginning that was that, when they did that, but it was like, it was

coming from inside the clothes wreck. That was cool. And they had a second part where one of the girls was, like, pointing behind the door to like the black spot. It didn't show anything. They just described it. Yeah. So it was interesting. It wasn't a cheap jump scare, which that movie had, but I thought they did some things well they did the stupid the reflection in the toy thing the jack in the box yeah that was it wasn't a jump scare

that was the last movie I saw that really scared me I can't really think of a lot of movies though that's scary I think the the original shining was pretty good yeah that was the legitimately really creepy I love the sound direction for that fucking movie what about your comedy favorite comedy

I would say there's a lot of those don't you say I'm in darkness because I can't think of a lot of Sean of the Dead is good Sean of the Dead is a good one too Can't be good to give it. Well, it's hard. Like, you think it'd be easier, but it's weird.

Like, for example, like Jeff said aliens, like, the scariest movies, I think, wouldn't really necessarily be a... They're thriller more than scary. Good, good Halloween movies. Like, Halloween movies are pretty much always going to be, like, corny. Because you watch aliens any time of the year or the thing, any time of the year, or whatever. I'm the same way. I can't really think about that. Always watch the thing at Christmas, actually.

Because it's snowy, like that? Even though they're terrible movies, I think the Hell Raves or movies are always creep me in the fuck out. The first one's cool. Yeah. I feel like I feel like I'm more interested in thriller movies. Like Sides of the Lambs is scarier. It's more, you know what I mean? It's not scary, but it's scarier.

I have two comedic movies that I kind of like. I'm not really going to do it for horror because I can't really think. Because, again, I was scared when I was a kid, so I guess Hellraiser and Candyman and Freddy Cougar were the top three. But for comedy, I would have to say Brain Dead. I really like Brain Dead. I don't know if anyone's ever seen it. It's like, it's this super gory, like, fucking, like, zombie fest and shit. where like people over time becomes zombies.

Was it bad taste? No, it wasn't bad taste. Dead alive. Dead alive. That's it. See, I know what it was like brain dead. I think there was two names. I think there was dead alive and brain dead.

I'm pretty sure. It might have been, yeah. Because they had to do two names because it was too fucked up for one like country so they had to change the name because it was too gory. That's a really funny movie for the wrong reason. Like it's so fucking bizarre. Such a bizarre movie from start to finish,

but it's really good. Yeah, dead alive is also called Brain Dead. I didn't know that. Yeah. Okay, yeah, but dead alive is cool, yeah. It's a good one. So it's, it's dead guys trying to hide the fact that they're dead? Something like that.

It sounds like that Bruce Willis movie with, where he, where his wife dies. Exactly, they get bit by, like, zombie rats, and they fucking blow their heads off. Dude, watch that movie. It's so entertaining. What's something we called? The one with Bruce Willis, where his fucking wife dies, and she tries to hide the fact that she's dead. No. Oh, um.

And the other girl dies, too. Oh, yeah, that becomes her. Yeah, that becomes her. Yeah, that, is that similar to the premise? No, this movie is so. all fucking over the top it's prosthetics and dude there's this part

just going through the house fucking mold people down there's like people's exploding fucking riveting like evil dead shit yeah it's evil dead cheesy but it's really funny for the wrong

and it was directed by Peter Jackson it was good it was really good there's one more movie for my childhood that really creeped me the fuck out and I was a polter guy

holter guys fire in this guy oh my god I just can't I still can't shake that that scene of the dude looking in the mirror in the bathroom

peeling his face off yeah the The clown shit scared the fuck out of me when I was a kid. The clown, like, pulling people on the bed. That, like, literally gave me night vans for ages. What about movies that scared you as a kid? Like, for example, like, killer clowns from outer space terrified.

Oh, that movie's great. If you haven't seen killer clowns from outer space, you guys should watch that. Yeah, it's a good movie. You know, it's a kid, a hard by me, spawn. Let's see where it goes to healthy end. I watched it again recently. I've seen that. That scene is horrible.

It's like these shitty CG bouncing. But I was younger and I was like that is like that is fucking scary. If you want to see a live, he can't be nightmare. I think that is the worst CG of all time. So I know. Sparring? Is Sparring? Like the comic? Yeah, but the movie of it. You went to fucking hell.

Yeah. And it's like terrible. You have to see the TV. I was about to say. It is like, it is like, PlayStation 1 graphics. It's literally. Like, pixelated in shit.

It's just screaming like, ah. It's bang. Alright, moving on. New topic. I know I'm going to think of other, I know I'm going to think of other horror movies later and be like, damn it, I hate it when people, when you put on the spot like that.

scary movie slash funny movie in areas where you can talk in time why so I keep doing that I don't know I was gonna say so about it but I didn't want to fucking interrupt it like you know you really it's pretty evident when it's like flickering do you want this is fucking pissing me off turn it off yeah anyways uh just just cut this out when you edit this is it is it better yeah yeah okay is it a little brighter it's still making a fucking buzzing cell though yeah I can just like what you do about it when it's a little fucking nowhere it seems to be give you the light bulb but not the actual like wiring. It's fine.

No, shut up. Let's just continue with the thingy. All right. What kind of candy would you go super sand for, Corey? Like, tell you. What kind of candy? Corey, if I was... I've been craving...

Oh, God, I've been craving warheads for so long. And then I went online to see how much they are? It's like $24 for like a fucking thing of warheads. Yeah, that's because you're online. You're normally buying shit in bulk, man. That's probably convenience stores. Warheads aren't any tricks. You know what I hate it by Halloween?

What? Peeps. Is that all... I thought that was an Easter candy. It's Easter candy. Oh yeah. Oh, they probably have... They probably have...

They don't... They do have Halloween peeps, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Those don't count. My friends, my friends are like eating stale peeps. Oh, because you could chew them. Yeah, I know people are...

Yeah, they leave them out and make them stash... What the fuck is a peep? I've heard that stale peeps is better. All peeps are... I'm at... Guess what a peep is. Oh, shit. Well, you just said marshmallows.

What are you just said marshmallows? What do you think it's shaped as though? The marshmallow? A peep? Oh, a fucking bird? What kind of bird? A little chicken? Yeah, Chris. Oh, is that that episode of Malcolm in the middle where he's like eating all the chickens? I don't know.

Okay. Anyway. Keeps are just marshmallow sprinkled with sugar and they're fucking gross. Aren't they like super filming? I don't know. I don't eat them because they suck. Okay. Well, that, that...

What about candy corn? Do you have candy? Are you a candy corn guy? I can eat a little candy corn, but it's... Could you suck your face? Candy corn. To be fair. Candy corn's not bad.

I like candy corn, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get it. I don't like normal candy corn because I can only eat like three or four of them then I feel sick. But there's like these like exotic jelly bean candy worms or what the fuck? Candy corn. There's like these exotic jelly bean candy corn that's like strawberry and like watermelon and shit. That seems like to be decent. Those are fucking delicious. Compared the fucking disgusting dirt flavor.

That's the one candy I have always hated and even now I still hate is fucking jelly beans. Really? I agree. I don't know why. They got so fucking... I like jelly beans. It's not even just the black ones. It's the... It's the... every color... You would eat it in green jelly beans. It's this gritty, chewy, gross, gummy texture.

Yeah, this aftertaste is... I don't mind jellybellers. There's some really good, like, fruity, like, jelly beans that aren't like your generic cherry... Jelly bellies are tolerable, but when you just get them in a back home, like... Oh yeah, jelly bellies. Just jelly beans, they're fucking horrible. But I still don't eat jellybellies, because they're still like... Jelly beans suck, dude.

Fuck jelly pecky. Fuck you. Furn. Fuck you. Circus peanuts. Dude, I used to love circus peanuts when I was a little baby boy, my grandpa used to feed him to be left. You were stupid.

Tell the podcast something they don't already know that you already haven't said, that you haven't said already. I like sourc candies. What kind? I like sour patch kids. I like sour. I can't eat sour patch kids. Why not?

It's too sugar. What about? You said that you were looking for warheads earlier. You were just talking about warheads. But it's not chewy. It's not chewy. That would blow your fucking head off, Corey. It's not too.

It's sour, chewy shit. It's like sour skittles. I can't eat sour skittles because it's like chewy, chewy gunny shit. Warheads is just like a containment of hard candy. When I think it's Sarah Skittles, like, I almost pupe because I ate too much when I was younger. It's dude, sour skittles, sourpudge kids, all difficult. I love Sarah shit. Do you always know that kid in school, that cool kid that like put five warheads in his mouth and he's like, look what I can do.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, I can eat like four like... He's like, the worst one of the worst, which is the worst one again. Yeah, there's like, one had challenges. What's the worst flavor get or like the most sour one is a black or yellow or something? I don't eat them I thought it was blackberry. Yeah, yeah, there was always kids like six fuck black was. Yeah, but when you fit like six in your fucking mouth the sour flavor just kind of like desensitize your mouth already. So you just kind of like, well, so you're like, oh, so bad. I'm about what's not going to do. Because I'm thinking about warheads. Yeah, warheads are gil me. My mouth is water because I'm thinking about penis. Painish. Painish. Painish. I like penis.

Had no, we had a penis In a podcast once and it's so funny I forget what it was Where you're like, pedus Petus What was this? I don't know Petus Petus. All right, it'll come to me

Anyways She's like a penis. Petus. Anyway, how do I say penis? Petus. You know, Petus. Do you have to say penis? Just say big dick in my ass. Say penis. Big penis.

Say penis? Yes, big dick in my ass. Say it with, say it with vibrato. Penis. It's not being a penis. That's not a braverag. Y'allus. Yeah, say it like that.

Enoch. Why you're going to steam a penis all day. You know. If we're kidnapped for Halloween, it said that. Chris, if you're fucking dick, whatever. Yeah, Chris, say penis. Penish. Mine's off by like a centimeter, right?

My dick's not that crooked. You don't have a crooked penis. This is a very weird podcast topic. Hey, say penis. You know what I bet you guys could do? Say penis. Welcome to the same time of Halloween after you. Say, hey.

The penis. Let me ask you that this is a good idea. You all take, you all pull down your pants, right? Yeah. You'll get erections. Okay. And then you all align yourselves with your crooked dicks, and you can actually make a dick swastika.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good good good. Yeah. Oh, you think my dick is bent in half like a boomerang? That's how you explained it. Like right in the middle? Yeah, Stamper has a...

My dick curbs like that. Stamper has a pur... I don't want to talk about dicks anymore, man. Get back to Halloween. You dicks? Halloween's gay. That's one. It's not if we're gonna talk about how we might as well talk about dicks right? Yeah, I mean it's the same

It's the only the only thing is a big fluffy dick Yeah, the only thing I think about with Halloween is a big gay man wearing a costume Yeah, you standing on the doorstep That's your fucking that's your fucking that's the big gay man is you call you I'm not paying money for that show you always wear a big gay man costume You're but you're wearing big gay fat diaper for your poop in your pants. Fuck.

You should you literally tell you, buddy. That fucking light. Hold on, hold on. Seriously, stop. Let's just cut this part out. No, have you ever changed the light on? This is ridiculous. God damn it.

It's fucking hot. Can you turn them up first? I don't want to fucking... Do you know what you're gonna... Do you know what you did? You're gonna be able to reach it, dude? You have left you, right? Fuck you eat.

Zach. I'm tired. It's like seven feet tall. You need me to lift you up and make you a giraffe. It's fine. Hold on. You can't even fucking reach it. It's just hot.

It's fine. Is that hot? Look, look, I think I got it. You don't know how to refrigerate applesauce, though. Jeff, if it doesn't... Whoa, you're fucking shooting lowball. Jeff. Shot-fire, Jeff.

If it does it again, we'll just... We'll fucking do us tomorrow, right? All right. We'll just do it tomorrow because we can't afford to do a whole fucking podcast. This whole fucking chunk is garbage, dude. I think, right? Yeah, we'll just cut it out. I got to just go...

And look for that in the audio waveforms. All right. Stamper, we were talking about how Jeff earlier, Jeff kisses little girls in the mouth. You were talking about how you also met a black... With the juicy ass? Yeah, we... Tell us still, Stamper. No!

Yeah, I met a black girl once at the end. What'd you do, then? What? What'd you do? Yeah, talk about her... Talk about her... Talk about her air horn laugh. That was the most...

That was the most... ...the most... ...I had the displeasure of listening to. We went to a Mexican restaurant, and we were trying to figure out that Vigy Small song, and there was five white guys. Like, what's that Vigy Small song? And you stopped a black girl. You're like, what's that big a big small song?

whole song and she was like juicy really yeah it's so fucking love got nothing to do with her being oh god damn it dude are you fucking kidding me what's a good thing fucking christ oh shit no is it still going oh it's uh it's running on batteries he's had half an hour dude no no no no it's it's running on batteries now yeah we got a few hours can we even fucking do this between light bulb and this well it's gonna desert yeah there's no sense it's no like you're no sense right there's no no sense of stopping now we're already so far do you want to let a candle you're not fucking starting all we have to get this up we got hit the shit

go cori would you let you let candles go get candle silverware and in fucking like today cori cori core are you have you ever lived in a fucking cave before do you have mole eyes I can't fucking see what I'm doing you fucking reach around you fucking blinds down there no seriously I can't fucking see what I'm doing look right there's like a fucking tiny that mood light shining through you can't fucking see that like that shit please let's get that what are you don't do you hear it to me here there's just stuff in the way man fuck yeah ooh look that that's spectacular this is pretty nice actually oh nice glow this smells good we have a whole box you bring me one fucking

candle dude oh oh oh hey mold man you don't look like kind of files of the Candal like the faces But uh where were we? Well we got two hours we got two hours left We should stop talking about Why do you think the power's going out? Anyways, it had nothing to do with her being black Because we were in Bunk-Fuck nowhere? It was because windy?

It was not windy though It was a funny situation, I guarantee you show back It's not windy What the fuck is this noise is on the window There's a wind blowing I don't know I got you stuff like I don't know why we decided to set up a location

so fucking fuck it's fine guys just do so shit he's just shut we did it to get away from you and you tagged along seriously guys let's just try to use the fucking best of what we have left and we'll be fine as long as we do it if we do it fast like we have enough batteries we're back to we're talking about what would uh you rather be what would you're talking about Corey what would you rather uh out of every monster in fiction or real life what would you be what would you be monster would you Who would you be, Corey? Would you be a ghoul of specter? The giant squid? Would you be a skeleton? The mummy returns. I don't like my own self if I was a giant squid.

Me neither. Well, yeah, let's- Let's- Just quit. It's not a ghoul. Let's fucking scary, dude. Let's break it down. You're like 10 feet tall. Giant squid.

Let's break it down. What? Okay. Frankenstein. What is Frankenstein? Some big green Hulk with giantism. Everyone's gonna shut you matter where you go. That's not fun. I don't matter if you have Hulk's me.

I think it has worthy of the fact that he's fucking piece together with dead guy parts, but not the fact that he's tall. They just like, oh, he's a burn victim. Don't look- So what would you want to be? This isn't what wouldn't you want to be? What would you be? A werewolf.

Why? Why doesn't be a corny-ass werewolf? Why do you want to be a whirl? I mean a cool werewolf in shades. Fuck you, hell, the mood anyways in a tall cap, son. Jeff, what kind of spooky ghoul would you be? I don't know. Wait for Jeff to return.

No, you just keep going. No. Jesus. That's the ghost of spooky fast. You need a candle, dude? No. You gotta skip going. I'll take a break.

Okay, anyways. He's checking his cell phone for bars. Mm-hmm. Second. I would be a wolf, Wolfman. It sucks, dude. What?

My father, I'll rip your face apart no matter what you want. If I was... Well, you got your shades on and your ball cap? Yeah. No, you know, I'm gonna fuck a wolf, man.

And you could, no matter where you are, you have fucking crazy strength. All I see is you like Teen Wolf would fucking... Yeah, Corey, you... Listen, Corey... Listen, that's what the basketball's your... Listen, gore- Where in my jersey?

Wear in my jersey, wear in my letter T. You wear a jersey, you kiss boys with the mouth. What is it with you and kissing kids? Yeah. You're projecting. What is it with kissing kids? Having your fucking relatives giggle at you after doing something homosexual or weird. Okay, Zach, what's a monster between me?

I don't know, like, what's difference between a ghoul and like a, you know what's a fucking monster that you know? What's a ghoul? That's the best question. Oh, well, think about it. If you're gonna be a mummy, you're gonna be a stinky old fucking stick. Is it's like a weird of the mixture between a like a mixture between a ghost of like a zombie a ghoul a ghoul what's the fuck's a ghoul a feral ghoul is what the fuck is a feral ghoul god why should play games I thought a ghoul was like an all-encompassing term for anything really I don't know it's a good

insult you're fucking ghoul she looks like a ghoul it's a good insult but it's more of a good adjective fucking I know a skeleton's fucking one of those you can just pull its bones upon the river yeah so it's a little stronger they come in they claw your eyeballs out just fucking hit it with a Yeah, their bones break, dude. How about you take a bone? Do you know you can't live with all your bones? Oh, like you pull out his fever and he falls over.

He's like, whoa-a-oh-oh. Chris. Mm-hmm. You started this tangent. You started this fucking, clearly you would be some kind of boss or. Actually, don't know. How about a moth man?

Mothman. Yeah. What does he do? Just be just fly ride, get hit by colors and stuff? What does he do? Yeah, but he had a movie made about them. You're actually attracted to, like, fluorescent lights, and you would die.

I would fly towards the sun, like, Icarus and fall. Fucking burn away the sword. You want that. You want that. You die in the Christmas. I wouldn't want that. It was a joke.

I would rather be, um... Chris is just like flapping around a bug zapper. No. Like, stick your fingers. I would rather, uh... I would probably want to be, uh... Yeah, we've seen the movie Dog soldiers. No.

Dog soldiers. You're like soldiers with like dogs. There's these really big, cool werewolves in that movie. Did you ever watch, um, Sesame Street? No. Did you, oh, well, do you remember, like, when they had, like, these, like, adults with, like, dogs heads over them, they would like do stuff and drink tea and shit?

No? And it would just be like dog faces? No. All my Sesame Street memories went out with my childhood. Yeah, I don't remember any sense. He's flushed out. You still celebrate Halloween. You were probably watching Sesame Street yesterday, though, dude.

It's fresh of your mind. It's a good show. Stamper, what kind of boss would you be? Okay, well, hold on. Discare the boys and girls. Yeah, what would you be? I'd be a vampire, and I bite their living weird. You suck anyway, Stamper?

You suck the dicks. You suck the come out of a dick. Where's Jeff? I don't need to be a vampire to do that What fuck did Jeff go? I think he wanted to set to get CP at bars What's your uh... What do you...

Okay, what do you think are the lamest like Halloween characters? All of them dude. They're all of these. Oh, because they can't like bite you, they're actually doing it against you. What the fuck, I'm not scared of a fucking skeleton. All the mummies, all the mummy of costumes, like, that mummies don't really look like that ever. They never really have the bandages.

They look nothing like that. They usually just look like little skinny jerky people. Yeah, they look like little beef jerky guys. jerky guys probably could eat them what can they do it to catch you then honestly if the mummy walks they would like grab on you try about you but you can just push them try to like try to like judy and if the mummy

actually tries to attack you he's just gonna like fucking crumble and break you can snap them so easily yeah they're like they're like fucking like they're not actually yeah they were dead like 5,000 years and their bones they were all like kings so they're all pampered and weak and boring and they've never been in a fight in their lives I know they try to choke you and they just be really

I saw I forget what movie was I saw it had a really scary mummy and when he came back and what he did when he chased after people He did like mummification things on him so he put like a hook up their nose and like pulled their brains out and stuff So he did the like the same things that was kind of scary That part the moment in the first mummy movie where it shows the guy who had his eyes and Tom rip there It gave me such bad nightmare I love the first mummy. So good you know what the scariest part in the first mommy was was the scarabs or the bugs they're horrible The first time he's like pulling the first time he's like pulling the first time he's like pulling the first pulling it out and it crawls into his fucking, that shit.

That's, that fucking, like, deceive them chasing him as they're trying around out. It's a good one. It's a good movie. Mone's a corny. So are creatures from the Black Lagoon. So are pussy, sparkly vampires. The creature from the Black Lagoon with some, like, I don't know, some evolved corona. That's what he fucking looks like with scales.

What is that? I told you, it was the wind, because it was picking up outside. Look, did actually, I think it's Jeff. The wind doesn't knock. Why would Jeff waste his time? He doesn't have the energy to come up the window. and fucking knock on them. Corey, do you have any really, do you stand for you?

You guys have really really horrible, Halloween stories, have you really horrible Halloween experiences? Since you enjoy Halloween and you're not, like me, who's a Grinch. Actually, no. What's the worst part about Halloween? Stiff, what do you fucking despise about Halloween? Yeah, what the fuck you hate? Because you can't like all of these. It's only one day.

Oh. No, seriously, you can't, that's a top of it. What's not? I hate nothing about Halloween. Bullshit. There's a rotten pumpkins outside your house you have to throw away. Okay, picking up the cleaning, taking down the decoration. What about pranksters?

That sucks because it's labor. People who, you give them candy, they don't want it. I've never experienced a Halloween prankster. You know, you watch too much TV. That's pretty rare, but you don't get a lot. Not where I let, dude. We had people coming and fucking, like, killing animals. You are from Missouri.

Yeah. Misery. That's true. Misery is a good movie to watch the Halloween. Oh yeah, where she, he was writing the book or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, that's a cool movie. So I guess the thing I hate most about Halloween would have to be, it's the fucking materialism.

Like how it's like you buy costumes for one day of the year, buy candy for one day of the year, it's pointless. You don't have to. I mean, you pretty much... You could walk around. Like I said, if you have lights on in your house, you might get a trick-or-treater if you live in an environment where kids fucking come. So you have to turn your lights off so kids don't come bother you all night. That's why old people are all so pissed off because they're fucking... They don't remember...

I was 12 or 13. That was the last time ever trick-or-jutor. I think it was 12 with my friend Jason and we went up to this guy's door and the fucking dude was like standing at the side of his door really He was trying to avoid us but he wasn't like out of seconds. He's still see it Jesus fucking Christ dude. Is that Jeff? Let him miss. That was like a rapid knock. Let him in. I'm not opening the door. Why would he not like that? Wait wait wait wait wait this this is fucking unusable. It's like yeah, why can't Jeff? Why can't Jeff? He's like you guys. Jeff's just fucking with us. What was that?

What was that? I don't know What you mean what was that? No dude this is a tiny cabin. I guarantee you it's just running around Is this Jeff me a cunt? Yeah, he's acting on the fucking with me. I'm fucking with you always fucking with people This is getting stupid But this is stupid F you Jeff he knows we have like fucking two hours of battery left you he's just sabotaging it he could probably use this and make it to like funny I'm just spooky it really uses in the podcast. It all makes sense now we probably use all this in the podcast probably it all makes sense but he just give it a once-over

he fucking hates Halloween that's why he's sabotaging it he's the good you stole holiday we talk about he said he liked it oh yeah is that why he's going around smacking windows and fucking be the gulov eve yeah the gulo eve this is weird you don't spend fucking 40 minutes looking for bars you think you'd come inside I think he would back home whatever he came with us he couldn't go back home

I'll see shit I checked everywhere We just try and pass the time until he gets back. This is... This is... God, this is the most fucking dysfunctional thing we've ever had to do. No, it's not, dude. We have no power. In fucking two hours.

Nobody fucking can see the power. Dude, we're recording it's fine. Yeah. As long as you cut up the fucking stupid blipold noise in a stupid fucking day, it's fine. Yeah. We'll just, we'll try to cut you up and just edit us and say he left. Yeah, okay. Uh, worker...

Was that like the ninth time we fucking did? I know it sucked, look, dude, just- Get back to the fucking... Yeah, we need to hurry up, dude. We got fucking... What did you dress up as? As a kid. Wait, we need to be more like...

Yeah, okay, okay, okay, wait. We already did that, right? No, no, no, we didn't. Alright, so, Stamper was a trainee, Zach was Moses. Corey, what did you dress up as a kid? Oh, as a kid? It's a generic shit, like a vampire.

Oh yeah, we did already talk about it. Power Rangers? Sorry. Just move to the next question has nothing to do dressing up just to make sure. We're gonna have to go for at least two or hours. if we want to do this. I'm just taking the fucking topics, dude. Yeah. I mean, we appreciate them, but it kind of gets grading when you're like,

you feel like it's the same regurgitated stuff. Yeah. And it's fucking starting to get cold now that there's no goddamn power in here. Look, we'll, uh... I need to go get my coat. Wait, it's right here. Hey, no, it's up here. Okay. Well, I don't know what we're going to do.

Can you think of anything? What I mean, Halloween, it's like a one-trick pony. Yeah. What if we, um... Yeah, wait, hold on. I think we all got a little too grumpy there. So let's... Well, it's hard fucking out you, dude. Yeah, this has been a fucking disaster.

All right. Let's inject some fun back into the podcast. Let's get preppy. If Jeff doesn't get back in like five minutes, probably go look for him too. But yeah, let's just... What's up? Want to tell ghost stories and have to, like,

just candles and shit? Past the time with ghost stories. Spooky scary stories? Spooky scary ghost stories. Let's tell spooky scary ghost stories? Yeah. Ooh. All right.

Spooky stories. What kind of spooky stories? Like, real life experience? Like ghost stories. Do you have a question? I'm legitimately curious. Has anyone ever had any ghost experiences? Because I've...

I do. I actually have a good one. You have a good... Are you serious? Ghost stories. Tell me. Okay. So, I'm at this bar in downtown Philly.

I think it was actually called Corys. Cories. Oh! So... It's his little piece of shit bar. It's got like four stools in there, right? Is it really? Is it really cool, Cori's?

It has a E-O-R-E-E. It's a C-O-R-E. Oh yeah it is. Did you been there before? Corrie's. A few times, yeah. Or something like that. Anyways, I'm the only dude in the bar, right?

I get a beer and I'm sitting at the bar and I feel something tap my shoulder and I looked to my left because I thought it was somebody like pranking me like, you know how they tap your shoulder? Yeah, you know, the wrong shoulder, dude. And then I look back over and there's nobody there. So I turned all the way around and I was like, that's fucking weird. So I turned back forward and I'm drinking my beer and I was like, that was fucking strong. Because I'm the only guy in there and the bartender is at the other side reading a fucking newspaper some So I thought that maybe some plaster fell off the ceiling or something and tap my shoulder like that You would see so I turned back around looked at to look around the floor to see if something fell off the

Yeah off the ceiling or whatever and as I was turned around backwards I felt somebody grab my hand on the bar the bar top yeah and it went my head around and it was fucking Corey You and your dad was fucking you moaning like a ghost really yeah fucking you oh oh this is like last week that's bullshit I'm not I'm not allowed in bars anymore for some reason but I don't recall that it's good everybody you fuck play your dad loudly corn you're you're gonna do some Philly I mean I'm not allowed in bars anymore but I don't really court I don't recall actually that's a true story

did you ever hear my story but what I went to like their parents how I said there with there you always still a little bit haunted. Is this legitimate just gonna lead to me like fucking my dad or like me having a pussy? No, no, no. But, but, I'm just both stories.

I really, I really, I really did tell you that, like my grandparents' house was haunted about it. You talked about it. In the podcast before. Yeah,

you talked about it briefly. I stayed there when I was 10. I stayed in the basement. They have this, they have this basement there. It's a nice little basement, but they have, they have these back glass windows

that are like on the ground floor because the back of the hill they live, they look like a hill. So the bottom part of the hill is where the windows come out. And so, anyways, I think I was about 10. By 10 years old,

I was with my cousin, they're one of their friends, and we were watching some kind of movie, and we heard fucking, like, some kind of weird rubbley outside. We saw a dude standing outside of the fucking, this isn't like a ghost story, but we saw a dude standing outside of these huge fucking glass panels

looking into us. We fucking shat our pants because I was 10. I thought, you, you know, we were like a molester, like a serial killer. We fucking close the blades, rampsters, like grandparents they called the cops apparently the dude fucking broke out in some like some mental place and was like watching us you fucking serious? Yes so apparently

yeah they called him the police came back fucking grabbed this asshole took him back to the asylum and we went with we went like because they had we had to identify him you know those police things you had to identify as something? Yeah yeah you know those police things where it's like it's like is this the guy we went there we saw the dude we saw two

the guys and we saw your dad fucking you behind the glass story. I can travel through time and meet all these people and somehow still have time to fuck my dad. I could be using my time travel powers for something useful. I just don't know how your dad's not satiated yet. Probably because I allowed it.

Why do you fuck with your dad so much? I don't know. How of you enjoy the idea of me and my dad fucking behind a window with the other man? Let Chris tell a spooky scary story now. Really a good one. For real this time. Actually, I don't have a scary story, but I did memorize a entire piece by Edgar Allan Poe.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Will I go for it? Yeah, do your best. Okay. Once upon a midnight dreary. Corey's dad fucked him in the ass. Well, you want to hear my spooky story? Yeah, you'll take a lip to your talking.

This is a dark and spooky night. Fuck you. I got to go piss. some second dude get Jeff I oh oh oh oh all right I guess I'll piss outside we don't really on the bathroom but I don't think you should be going outside yeah he goes yeah he's gonna piss outside yeah can't see shit it's black I know and Jeff what his dick is too small it's like it matters yeah he already can't see his wiener yeah I just you have her I get really fucking Tew Jeff is out there and

he's gonna scare the fuck out of glory I just yeah he's probably he's probably gonna fuck corn inside anyways no his dad's got dabs Okay, now what happens? You guys would go for like 15 more and we'll... Okay. When I saw Cory on dressing and I saw his dick, I puked and he was like, don't tell anybody. But now that he's not here I can tell everybody. What it looked like?

I'm not going to that. Like a corkscrew, a pig tail, dragon tongue. Perfect Halloween story. This is gonna be truly spectacular. Corrigan fuck by his dad, I was getting fucking my uncle. You know what that was mean? Now that's Halloween. We should talk a little bit about pumpkins and pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice. You, Chris, you're gonna be a little bit.

little teenage girl, aren't you? Come to America. Pumpkin Spice is awesome. What are you talking about, faggot? Stamper, I had pumpkin spice for the first time of my life this week. They got pumpkin cream cheese for your bagel at Wawa. They got pumpkin spice. Coffee, yeah. Kramer.

They got pumpkin donuts and Dunkin' Donuts, and they're fucking on. It's amazing. We don't have that. Just because you don't like fucking pumpkins. Pumpkin pie is good, too. Now you're on the pumpkin side. I'm just saying Chris has been like his his eyes have spoken with every day for pumpkin

pumpkin blank. I've never had it. I've never had it before. It's amazing. It's amazing when I find something that tastes good because my taste blows are shitty. How long does it take the piss? This is like fucking ridiculous. I'm just... I'm just gonna... We're gonna have to... We're gonna have to do this one, right? Fuck, dude. It's shit. Go on it.

Can't hang it? No, dude. Why? It's fine, dude. I'm gonna look at it to the dark now. Oh, boo, you big boogie bag's gonna poke criss in the eyes, boo. Just fuck it, dude. This is fucking, dude.

This is fucking time. You see him? What you think? Like... Go outside of fucking yowno, dude. This is actually pissing me off. We have no time left. We're gonna have to literally edit this to make it look like they left of their own course. Look, I'll sit here, I'll be Corey.

Uh, hey, I'm Corey. My dad fucks me. I'm just gonna go get her. Dude. What? I'm just gonna go get them. This is honestly the worst thing we've ever done. The podcast? Yeah, honestly, I think so.

It's unsalpable, dude. This couldn't even be a last episode. Whoa! fucking good dude Jesus Christ like let it let the what the fuck am I supposed to go Jesus Christ just light the fucking candle light it like the fucking macs you light it light it light it light it light it