SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 09 - [Checking Our Privileges]

Episode Date: November 15, 2014

Welp, here's SleepyCast Episode 9. Uh...this is gonna cost us. http://sleepycabin.com/audio/sleepycast-09/ This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) Niall (www.youtube.com/Cryburgers) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

The following podcast is brought to you by rodeo brand paper towels. Rodeo brand paper towels. Fremes is as big as Texas. There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight,

lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin... There's a bunch of guys. This is a bunch bullshit. Hey, gang. Welcome to Sleepy cast. I'm Stamper TV, and I'm here with Psycho Pebble,

Zach, Nile, Murray, and Jeff, Johnny, Utah. This is episode... Episode... Yeah, it's episode... Episode data left out of... Nine. Well, well, you do...

That's not good. How does... Episode nine. You're already on the Hitler shit again. Nine! No, no, no, no, Zach. Okay. You inspired it, Zang.

Not all... Not all Germans are... Hitler or Nazis. Jeff was speaking polite German. I'm German so I have right to say. Me too. I believe that. Yeah, polite Germans run wrong. Nine! Nine! Zack! Zach Hodden? Is that how it's pronounced like officially? Hodgne? That's what's pronounced. But Zach is not a Jewish name. That's a Catholic name. Really? Jack? Zach? I always thought that's like this. Michael. You're right. You're right. Joseph. They're all, yeah, but that's still Jewish. I thought Zach was always, I always thought Zach was a Jewish thing. You got a shitty-ass Bible name. Hey, Jeff.

Introduce the Sleepy Cast In the style of The Next Generation Captain's Log. Go. Damn, really put me on the spot. Captain's Log. Star date. What is the Star Date?

November 12th. November 12th, 2014. Star date, November 12th, 2014. We are here in the Captain's Ready Room with Stamper. You're not going to say shit, fine. Zach.

No. Nile. How's it going, guys? You recently got the internet cut off. Oh, come on. He downloaded Agent Cody Banks. Look, someone downloaded Agent Cody Banks, but why this... It was you. You're the Cody Bakes boy. Nobody knows what we're talking about.

So summarize from the start, how you fuck the entire house over, Nile. Okay, about two months ago, right? Someone downloaded Workaholics, right? You! Downloaded it was going to get to that. That person was me. I admitted to that. I downloaded an episode of Workaholics to show Zach how bad it was, okay?

Then, suddenly... He's pissed off all the Wicaholics fans. About three weeks ago... Somebody had downloaded it frozen. You downloaded an entire season plus because you wanted to show somebody how bad... No, I did not. I downloaded episode 11, 12, and like the finale or whatever, right?

Of season three, which is a year old. Then someone, like, two weeks ago, downloaded Agent Cody Banks. Saving Mr. Banks. Oh. The Tom... The Tom Hanks movie. Wait, did you really think it was Agent Coney Banks?

I was confused. It's Saving Mr. Bags with Tom Hanks, man. I thought of Agent Cody Banks. No. Well, sorry. They're related. Well, someone downloaded what's called Mr. Banks? Saving Mr. Banks.

And that got us the second strike, right? Then, recently, our internet got cut off because they said that someone who keeps downloading Torrance. I'm so glad. But today... Yeah, well, today, our internet got caught off. So, like... And explain why you feel partially guilty. I feel partially guilty because, first, I committed the first strike.

Third of all, I was seeding some torrent, so I think it might have been me this way. Who cedes torrents? I accidentally forgot to, like a few weeks ago I forgot to, when you put it's down the old man? I know, I ended out a prompt and it's like, oh, that's selfish. That's selfish now. Now when 15,000 people are seating it, you don't have to worry about it. Yeah, but if everyone has that.

Guys, I agree with God, this is a legal activity. I use, I use. Oh, fuck you. This is just a distasteful conversation. What's the last piece of software you bought? Captain Flash, Photoshop. I actually did my Flash. I actually did my Flash.

Bullshit. $700. I bought a Flash. And you know something? It ran way worse to the actual version I downloaded and torrent it illegally. Fuck you, Adobe.

Fuck you, MacMedia. MacMedia is good. Fuck you, Adobe. Good, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you, Adobe. This podcast brought to you by Adobe. Fuck you, Adobe. So, yeah, Nile got our internet

cut off at the house. No, I was a... Thanks to his workaholics addiction. No, this was once. One out of three strikes. But, like, the fact that I had... You should have a show called Tortaholics about you.

You're a torentholic. You're a torentholic. Oh, yeah. Okay. And the fact that I'm the only person on the internet account, and I have to account for seven other people that do illegal shit all day. You guys are just walk and I'm fucked. No, Snap, whoever... Yes, Stamper. I'm fucked at the end of the day. Someone should...

I have to answer for all that shit. Whoever downloaded those torrents should fess up. That's not cool not to fess up because everyone's denying it. So you're going to go fess up for workaholics? I did fess up for workaholics. I did wear some fess up for workaholics. Call Verizon right now and say that you were the one that downloaded workaholics. No. And you apologize.

Why don't we purchase like Detective Batman? Who are all the guilty parties in the house? It's not me. Everyone. But it did say stop. And I stopped. Yeah, and I did it. I stopped. I did it. Yeah, you should stop. I stopped and I deleted. By the way, when I tore on something, when I don't, I don't do that because it's illegal, but what I do, I delete.

You're so full of shit. I delete it. I delete it. I delete it. It's called. You delete the file. See, my, my problem was, if I like it, I keep the file. My problem, I said. I leave the file, but I delete the Torit, it's gone. Out of the bay.

Why everybody does it see? He lets it seem like an old man. Right. That was an accident. He just fucking hates you guys. People hate Comcasts, but they've never bothered me. Yeah, well, Comcast, don't they, like, screw you over and give you, like, shitty internet? No, they're nice. They're nice people. You know, I'm not because Jeff Pace the bills is a dutored

or Hitchy Cody Banks. Well, a lot of people on the internet seem to be... Torrent Disney movies all day long. A buzz-word kind of thing that, like, these days, is to hate Comcast, And I think you're going to be, like, in the bad end of the linelight for kind of... Truthfully, I never had a problem with Comcast. The only problem I have with them is they cost... Yeah.

I feel like I'm paying way too much. Yeah, that's this common problem. When I was with Comcast, I was paying like $120 from my cable TV service, and then I was like, wait a second. And on those last have you actually watched TV? It's been a long time. The last time I actually watched TV was in a bar where they had cable TV. Who watches TV when you can just torn shit?

I haven't turned on my TV in weeks. Why can't you get a cable TV package where you pay for the channels that you're actually want like what if you just wanted the discovery channel food network HBO that's kind of what's happening you know does HBO go yeah I don't watch fucking BET dude nobody needs 500 channels that's not that specifically but you know a golf channel I've read about this but I'm not I forget the yeah I think so you're saying like every every like network should kind of go in the route of Netflix where you can like subscribe to them but guys yes Jeff nobody will subscribe to the

speed channel and yeah the God channel do you ever watch the God channel no they they got mass 24 or 7 What's the Speed Channel? It's, what do you think? It's a lot of fast, a lot of fast things. Wait, really? Oh, it's like Days of Thunder. I'm not kidding, no, it's no movies.

It's usually like car shows. The Speed Channel. It's like, you know, they have like lots of reruns of overhauling. Does that movie? And that, who's the dude that, oh, uh, it's like overhauling, but with the black guy, it's not iced tea. It's, uh. Mr. T. The guy from the movie Friday.

Ice Cube. Ice Cube. Ice Cube. Ice Cube. What's the show he does? Ice Cube's the show. No, it's not ice cubes Ice Cube Trey

It's like overhauling but with Ice Cube That's what he calls family He's by Ice Cube Trey He still he steals a dude's car And then makes it purple and pink And gives it back And then everybody's happy and they end That's what he does every episode

Do they ever play that Canada's movie? Speed Yeah No Have you ever seen Speed? Yeah, I have It's a good movie It is a good movie

What about Speed 3 You ever fuck your little G.I. Joe's? Like the little ones? Yeah, no, the little ones. The little tiny G.I. Joe's. Yeah, they did have little cracks in their butts. I used to take a pet and poke a little hole in the ass and fuck it. I'd destroy, I'd shoot him with my BB gun.

I'd line them up and blow their heads off. Everybody had G.I. Joe's used to strap fireworks to them and blow them. They weren't fun to destroy. I'll give them that. Well, that's kind of like emulating real war, really. Kind of. Yeah. Jeff, have you ever been shopped by a BB gun? No, but I knew kids that I, mine...

It blew my mind at that age that they were, yeah, they would have BB gun fights. And even as a teenager, I'm like, you guys are fucking stupid. Like, they'd come in, they'd hold out their hand, and there'd be a fucking BB under their skin in their hand. And they're like, look, I got hit. Jesus Christ. I'm like, I'm like, a shiver is going up my spine. I'm looking at this. I'm like, you guys are going to fucking lose your eye.

It's like those bugs from the mummy. What you have to do is cover your eyes out like this. It was kind of. He was pushing it back and forth, like. I had this kid called Melbourne Oahuahead, who everyone used to shoot BB Guns. Melvin-Oholah? Yeah. Yeah.

Everybody. Did they shoot him? Did he look like what he said? Hey, Melvin, what is it? We all shoot him. We all gang up on him. Shoot an execution style. But he would just run to his house and see his pants. Is that real?

That's the real happen. That's the greatest name. Melvin. Melvin. Oh, Gahann. Yeah. God. He had no chance.

No. I think he killed himself, actually. So either you're lying or he grew up to be a magician. No, he killed himself. He tried to kill himself in the BB gun. Melvin-O-Hulahan. Really? He tried to kill himself with a BB gun, but he just got a headache when I went his life.

Did that actually happen, like, the BB gun? Yeah, all of that. No, I know that. All of that happened. God bless me all of the rest of peace. Okay, no, none of it happened. Dight of leukemia. None of it happened.

RIP. Legitimate topic, go. Zach want to talk about dogs versus cats, right, Zach? Dogs versus cats. Well, if you put a dog in a cat in a big box, you mean, dogs? Let's hear it. You want to talk about dogs versus cats?

Dogs and cats or dogs versus cats? What? It's like saying a rod, right, right, I'm gonna sit in a little cat. No, no, no, you know, like, which is better. I've always thought cats are pretty fucking worthless myself. They're cute, but they're worthless. Yeah, they are. They are. That's true.

Stimper, you said something that always stuck with me. You said cats are like houseplants. And I never forgot that because it's exactly what they're like. They're like houseplants that are alive. They just walk around. It's true. Houseplants are alive, but they just walk around. The difference between dogs and cats.

I said that? Yeah. I drink a lot. I know. When you, when you have a cat are like houseplants? It doesn't even make sense. It does. Well, you sit there that you look at him.

Like, oh, there's my fucking cat. You can't really pick up a cat and, like... I'm probably going to offend a lot of people here, but, like, cats, they seem to, like, they want what they'll suit themselves. Like, they want food, so they'll come over to you and give you affection just so you'll give them food or pet them or whatever.

It's not... They don't show you, like, love, like, dogs do. They're little manipulators. Yeah, they're like, oh, this human is here to serve me. Well, that's the thing. They're not smart enough to be little manipulators. They got little walnut brains. Yeah.

The thing that bothered me the most about cats is when they come up to people and they say, my cat is really in tune with how I am right now and she always comes up to me when I have a headache and I feel that we have a really good connection your cat is fucking retarded They just sits there this blank dead eyes

Yeah we have this are absolutely worthless Animal we have this cat called sushi and if you look in her eyes at any given time There's nothing you can see there's nothing going on in her brain Like nothing going on in her brain Yeah it's like they're both kind of looking to the side a little bit and they're just like what? They don't have they have they have no clue. They just want to shit and eat and fuck. That's it. I don't mind seeing another person's pet, or petting another person's pet, but

yeah, I don't know. I can't see myself, besides being allergic, I can't see myself owning one. Yeah, Jeff is fucked up. He's allergic to him. Yeah, I mean, if anybody out there wants to murder me, lock me in the room with a cat for 24 hours, I'll be dead the next morning. Dogs, however. Are you allergic to dogs? I think so, yeah, just animal dander in general.

Oh, man, that sucks. Makes my fucking eyeballs swell up and... Did it, like, pop out of your head? It's a weird thing. I have contacts. So, like, something happens or, like, my eye almost swells when my contact starts, like, shifting off my eye because my eyeball changes shape or something. I can't explain it. Really? Yeah.

Even, like, with sushi, like, if she's around, it just happens? Or, like, is it? No, I mean, it takes a while. I have to, like. Yeah, he'll come over for dinner or something, and then he'll leave her. Yeah. Because she's around. If I touch the cat and touch my eye, it's immediate.

But if I, if I breathe in the dander for a few hours, if I go over to somebody's house with a cat, then I start. is that? Is it like bacteria that lives on cats like fur or whatever? Is it like... No, I think it's like the skin cells or something. The bannard. That's really weird. Yeah. I don't know. And a lot of people are allergic to that. It's a fiber they put out. There's a lot of cats

that you could own. There's a couple of breeds of cats that you could own. If you're allergic to cats, you could own a bangle cat. Yeah, the hairless ones, right? You could own a Russian blue. Because their skin doesn't produce the Those cats are good, but they're little

This causes an allergic reaction. Your assholes, they bite you and stuff. Bangal cats are a pain in the ass, and they're expensive as fuck, too. But if you really want a cat, then go for it. I kind of wish I could just... The only thing I'd want to want as a pet is a little robot that's smarter than me. I want to be around something smarter than me. I don't want to be around something that just eats and sleeps all day.

It's a burden. It is kind of like a retarded kid. I would have talk because, Jeff, you're kind of cynical in general. I wouldn't have thought it was an allergic thing. I thought it was just a... It's both. Yeah. It's one, it could have been one or the other, but luckily, I'm both. I'm cynical and allergic. So in that regard, you don't really care about having pets or not?

No. I don't really, I don't really feel lonely not having an animal sleeping on the floor in front of me. And I'm the cynical shit, all right? No, he's just cynical. He's cynical. Oh, he's better. No, I get it. No, I get it. I don't want to say I'm not, I'm not an animal hater. It's like, if I see somebody's dog, like, happily run up to me, I'll pet him and be like, ah, hey boy, and you know, whatever. No, I'm not saying you're like an asshole. All I was saying was like in general... I just don't have any need for... You don't seem like a guy who really like cares about a lot of things like in general?

Yeah. Like, keep going. What's head? Enough with the cynical shit. I'm not taking myself... He's like you don't care about the human beings. No, no, I'm curious. I'm curious how others perceive me.

No, like what I perceive you as is like... You open this can of worms, go all out now. But it's not a bad can of worms. Yeah, no. Like, Jeff... Jeff's like really cool. Like, why would it ever be a bad can of worms? Keep going now. I'm a piece of shit.

Continue. No, you're not. I just think, like, you have the schick that you're a little bit, like, cynical. But, like, I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I'm a real. The one cynical is synonymous with, like, angry guy from the realist. I'm a realist. Yeah, realist.

And, like, the world of shit. Jeff, they say, if you scratch, if you scratch, a disappointed idealist, you'll find a cynic. That's what they say, Joe. Do they say that? That's a real. You're just a disappointed idealist, Jeff. You have to, like, like, it's a lottery card, you scratch off the circus. You spend way too much time on Twitter, Zach.

Listen to Twitter. My point is, it said that, so fuck you. I guarantee that I can find that on Twitter, care of George Carlin, so fuck me. George Carlin was in the way that Jeff is, the same way George Carlin was.

They say things how they actually are. Look, guy, I'm just keeping it real. That's what I'm doing. That's all of the... I'm not... I'm not fucking two-faced. I was trying to find a word for it. I was trying to find a word for it.

What I don't get about these dog guys, or cat guys, they buy an animal, although it's going to die way before they will. Yeah. That's what I don't get. It's like you get, you get temporary happiness and attachment just to be super fucking bummed out and sad later. And then you get it on.

Rats because they're really smart and you grow attached to them. They die in a year. Right around the time that you're best buds, they die. Yeah, they fucking shrug up and die. I don't, people like cats because they, what, what's the life man of a cat? 15, 15 years. Yeah, maybe 20 if you're lucky. I don't, I just, yeah, that, the dying part too.

It's like my parents. My parents had a great cat. He was like a barn cat that lived at this place, like, behind my parents' house. And he came up, and we started feeding him and sort of adopted him. And he lived outside. He just lived outside the whole time. We put a little bed in the garage. We even ran a duct, heating duct, into his bed, so he'd be heated during the winter.

Like, we fucking treated this cat like a king. We'd let him run around the yard. He pretty much had free room. He would run around the yard. He'd play in the yard. He'd play in the dirt. He'd come up. He'd bang on the window.

We had these, like, low windows. He'd bang on the window to come in the house. This is a happy little pet. Did the window, like, smashing his head? No, no, no. He'd just, he'd get up. He'd, he'd learn to train us, or he would just start banging on the window with his paws, telling us that's how he told us he wanted to come inside.

Well, we had him for, like, 15 years, but this is the problem. He started going deaf. Then he started going blind. Then he really couldn't walk anymore. And it's just, like, this decline over, like, four months where every day, you're just like, oh, my fucking God. Yeah, I had my friend's dog with, like, blind and deaf, and we'd, like, scream behind its ear and we'd just sit there mopey and keep walking around. It was so depressing to look at.

Yeah, and my dog's that's happening to it right now. It's like, Cavalier King Charles is 10 years old and it's, like, declining, like, really fast. It's kind of sad. It's going to you, Niall. It's going to be like, yeah, Niall came to the office. He'd be going blind and deaf and wandering around, your bowser and stop working. Yeah, my dad calls me, he's like, listen, we're taking Oreo to the, you know, I'm putting them down. I don't know if you want to see him one last time.

Let me guess. He was black and white. He was. I said, no. I don't want to see him one last time when I hung up. I saw him enough. I saw him plenty of last time when he was walking around. I like seeing him when he was walking. Do you regret that? No. I like the cat. I like the animal, but I didn't want to see him like lying there in pain. It wasn't like a heartless decision. I just didn't want to. I'm just like, I don't get what you can't put people down legally.

Yeah. Who would you put down? No, people who are dying of cancer and are in pain every single day. One out of four of us would be gone down. Out of everybody we know, Zach, who would you put down? Go. Corey. You can just welcome to Corey in Pokemon, and then we'd be like, what are you doing?

They could kill you. Corey is very helpful to me. It's a fun game. Stamper and I play sometimes. What's that? You try to organize everybody we know into who tastes the best. Like if it was the movie alive, if everybody crashed and died, like who would we eat first? Who would you eat first?

Of all of us, Jeff, everybody's a sleepy cabin of it, between Corey, Chris. Corey? Do you think Corey taste the best? Corey might be, I don't know. No, Corey's Harry. Corey is probably a shitty diet. Yeah, fuck you guys. I'm just gonna cut my leg off and eat myself.

Chris would taste like pancakes. That would be nice. Let's go, yeah, what would, what would Nile taste like? Cigarettes and grass or something like that? Yeah, grass would be a main one, actually. What do you think you'd taste like, Zach? I'd be disgusting and fatty. It'd be, it'd be like 90% fat you couldn't even eat me.

If you went to a restaurant, you ordered steak, and they gave you a bunch of fat on the side, you'd feel ripped off. Zach, you're the only guy that I would eat and probably puke right out. All you're an idiot, he was like, oh, oh, there's nothing else to eat, but I'm so hungry. This is too grisly and fatty.

Stamber. What part of Zach's body would you eat first? My ass. It would be the most... It's just all fat. Oh, that's right. Well, you could grill it up and you could saute it. Bacon fat is the nicest part of bacon.

Well, yeah, but it's balanced in a way where... There's meat. It's not just, like, fat. If you've got somebody's butt cheeks open, it's literally, It's just yellow fat, yeah. It's nasty. What about my leg?

I don't run that much, but my leg would be all right. Not my cap. My cap would be nothing. I could try to eat your legs like. When you eat steak, it's essentially muscle, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's cooked muscle. It's cooked muscle. Yeah. Everybody's groaning, listening to this. Because, like, just say you're in the wild

and you have to. We certainly wouldn't eat, what to eat the viewers, you know what I mean? Just say you're in the wild and you want to kill a squirrel, you set a trap in the squirrel, dies, you take out all the internal organs

and you cook the muscle. That's the main part that's the nutrients. That's the quote unquote meat. Yeah, you can also eat the liver. There's like some parts if you know it. You could. You could, but you might get sick with the intestines. I would not eat a fucking squirrel brain. And don't eat the brain. No, the brain's always bad. That's what my cow disease came. Incorrect. That's not true. You're spreading lies again. You don't like, you don't eat the internal organs, but you

could eat the brain. Yeah, yeah. You could eat the brains. You could eat the brain. Oh, sorry. I thought you could eat muscle dial. Oh, Zach's bringing up an all argument here. You don't want to pull up their organs and eat their intestines and stuff. If you go to a butchers, they'll know how to make the brain edible. You can bring a squirrel to the butchers? We're talking about survival. Survival of brain, I would not eat the brain.

Do you want to eat you guys? It gives you diseases. Do you like diseases? No, I don't like diseases. Do you know what I don't like? Do you guys like eating tendon? Tendon. Like when we go to the Thai restaurant, the Thai place.

The Vietnamese place, there's a, like, they mean. They have like really good foe or fah. Yeah. And then they, you can order it with big chunks of fucking. That's a really gamey chunk of, but then I don't like it. It's the shit that like attaches the muscle to the bone.

And it's really hard to chew. Yeah. It's like the, it's like the body's natural gummy bears, but fucking disgusting. The disgusting. Yeah, I agree with you, Jeff.

The body's natural gummy bears. But gummy bears are intrinsically delicious. I don't, I don't know, tendon really bothers me. I don't like it. Yeah, it does. I can't. I used a couple of times, and I always feel like I'm going to like it, because I'm cool with it.

I like their meatballs, but then they fucking stuff the meatballs with little tendon pieces, and I can't stand it. Oh. But anyway, yeah. Mm-mm. Delicious. Yum, yeah. Young tendons, delicious. Jeff, how do you taste?

I don't know, Zach. I've been eating a lot of vegetables lately, so. You'd be tasty. I think I'd be all right. I think Jeff would be pretty tasty. Yeah, you probably be one of the better ones in the group. Well, I'm not living off Wawa-Wahogies every day, so I'd probably. Hey, I had Chinese food today.

and coffee. Fair enough. Yeah, dude, if I took a bite of You, Zach, and it was just like a mouthful of cup noodles, I would puke. What if my severed face was standing at you while you ate me? Why would I cut your face off? Because you don't like to look at it,

but you leave it on the floor and it's looking at you, like, scowling. And my hand is pointing at you. A deep fry your skin, Zach. What? A deep fry, like your skin and ears and eat it. I like how Jeff's scenario, he's got like a kitchen with a deep pat.

You get a nice of skillet you're going to throw me up. I ate some pretty weird shit in South Korea. And, uh, I don't know, it gives me ideas. That's a good topic. What's one of the weirdest things you've eaten and, wait, no. Pussy. Because we've eaten weird things. But what's one of the weirdest things you've eaten that you actually liked and would eat again?

Man, you better come back to me. I need a minute. I need a minute. Yeah, me too, actually. I'm very boring. I don't know what a beef jerky is, but it's delicious. It's not exotic. It's meat, man.

It's not, though. It is. Dude, it's like the shingchering. It's salted. It's salted beef. It's the worst kind of meat. They don't have beef jerky? Do you know what?

No. The fact about beef jerky blew my mind that I didn't really know until recently. I don't think they, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think they actually cook it. No. It's just dried out. It's dried out, yeah, yeah, yeah. I never knew that. Yeah, all it is.

It was like a big part of my childhood is we had a food dehydrator. Yeah. And we used to make all kinds. We used to put bananas and all kinds of stuff. I only had it for the first time recently and it's delicious, but I do. It just yanks all the moisture. You salt it too, right? You can.

You can't. But yeah, beef jerky, like, I know, like, even though I know it's all the worst parts of the animal, like, it's like... It's not! It has to be... It's delicious! I like Scrapple there. What's Scrapple? Scrapple, it's the pig.

Scrabble is every part of the pig. Scrap. That's not pork chops and ham-hops. And it's mixed with corn... Yeah, it's like all these leftovers mixed with cornmeal, and they form it into, like, a block. It's like, it's like... Like the skeleton of the pig, too? No, no, no.

It's just organs, liver. They use all the parts of the pig, and they grind it together, and then they mix it with filler. Like cornmeal or filler, yeah. Put it into a block, and up here in the Northeast, they slice it, and they fry it. It's like this horrendous gray color. But once it's fried, it's not bad.

It looks normal, and it tastes all right. But you just got to get over thinking about what it is. Yeah, never ask me. What's in it. People bitch about it. Not dogs, but then they're scrapples. When people say mystery meat, this is literally the most mystery, mystery meat there is. Like, you know, eyeballs and shit.

It could be, like, it probably could be almost anything in there. Teeth. But it's not bad. I ate it growing up, so. Which is kind of cool, because they're not wasting the pig. Yeah. Full use of his death. And anytime I go to a diner with somebody who's never had it before, I always order it,

I just want to watch them cringe in front of me. But the taste is over there. It's always one to say. Yeah, it tastes good. I think I have no problem with, like, with psychology or fear if somebody says this is like a cow eyeball be like oh I'll try it out but if it tastes gross

it tastes gross a lot of people like like muscles like mussels like clam muscles are delicious but a lot of people don't like them because they sound gross but it's fucking tasty. You have to feed somebody something first and then tell them what it is later. Yeah. I was one of those benalemal believer when you get the muscle left out.

The thing that a lot of people like that I have the hardest time eating though is like blue cheese. I love blue cheese I love blue cheese. I gag. Blue cheese. I fucking gag. I gag. I gag.

Blue cheese, extra shark titter cheese. I love that. Okay, wait. Dark chocolate. Do you not like blue cheese only because you were aware of what it was before you ate? No. I don't know.

See, that's interesting because I think I liked it as a kid, but now, not only just knowing it, but the taste, the taste itself just really triggers something inside of me. Has anybody ever snuck blue cheese into something that you ate that you thought was phenomenal? Maybe as a kid. Maybe as a kid. like as a kid I ate it. But now if I, if I, like, you came over the house and you had a blue cheese burger, would you say, no, I'm not going to eat that?

If I eat something not knowing, there's like another cheese, it's like blue cheese, but it's not called blue cheese. Is it feta cheese? Not feta. It's, uh, or, that cheese is good, too. Wait, I, we were at that, we were at that Italian place the one time, and I ordered a salad, and it came with a cheese, like, in that blue cheese group, and I just, it ruined the whole fucking macumet.

Is it because, you know, it's, like, it's, it's aged cheese? That does not help, but it is the taste, though. But, okay, so have you guys tried feta cheese? Yeah, I stamped out. Yeah. Feta cheese, I can't eat it because it looks like smegma. Oh my God, would you not say that anymore? Did I say that before? Why do you?

Well, you're just staring, you're always staring at smegna. Is your weeder that dirty? No, it's not. I just got to get it looks like, dude. I got tricked into looking at smegma on Wikipedia and ever since then I... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Somebody swiddled you into looking at dick cheese on Wikipedia. Can you elaborate a little bit of this?

Yeah, some guy sent me, I didn't know what Smegma was, and he sent me the Wikipedia of Smegma, and I saw the picture of, like, this, like, dick, and had all this, like, white shit on it, and it looked like feta cheese, and ever since then, I can't eat feta cheese, without thinking that there's smegma sprinkled all over that pizza or whatever the fuck it is. So, like, if you're eating food. Your uncircumcised weed are as far as you. So you're the kind of person, if you're eating pizza, and I look at the pepperoni, I'm like, that's a scabre. You won't eat the pizza.

No, just, just smegma. That's weird. I can eat whatever I don't think about that kind of thing The brain is a powerful place Yeah I can't eat I can't eat it just makes me like vomit I like it's like I'm like you're

You're blaming me as if I have control over it I don't It's you're explaining that makes me feel like You would have a ring a dick out Get all the blue cheese off the dick It looks like it looks like there's just Lime of dicks with smegma Someone just scraped it all off

And just God damn shut off It's not talking guy I'm with him I'm a stamper Stop Please God Nile

It's horrible man Dick cheese. Yeah, that's why they call it. Does anybody else have any other weird, awful foods? Oh, I do. Dick cheese? Yeah, Dick cheese. What's besides blue dick cheese?

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, you're confusing with dick cheese. We're talking about Dick cheese. It's a French type of cheese. I went to a Mexican restaurant in San Diego, and it was one of those places where it's kind of like a poor man's Chipotle, where you go up and you pick the meat you want in and so forth and so on. Yeah.

And then one of them was cow tongue. Oh. And they were really serious about it. So when I got up to the counter, they prepare everything right in front of you. And they pulled this big ass cow tongue out and put it on the table. Like was it a tongue? And they chopped it like this. Oh, my God.

Really? Yeah, and it was still connected to the back of the throat. Oh, shit. And when I got it, I looked inside the taco and I could still see the taste buds in the cow's tongue. Oh, my God, really? It was such an odd pattern in little chunks. They chopped it up. so perfectly where every little cow tongue

part was in a perfect little cube and at the top of every little cube it was just dotted with this geometrical pattern of like Holy fuck! I was, I will say that it was absolutely delicious. Really? Did you taste their taste buds? Well, I tried everything. They had

like some bullshit pork and then they had the cow tongue but they also had this other one called a cow head which I know is... Was this a full head? Just in a little... In a burger? Shut! Shut! But I knew that that was like a delicate like what when you have when you do like cookouts in Mexico and South America like you do the underground roasts where you bury and then like the head is where all the best parts are and

I guess essentially what they do is like after the roasting process they all the skin and the shit on the face they pull it all off and they chop that all up and it was fucking horrible I couldn't stomach it it was just like this mix of shit that I didn't understand but at the same time I've had beef cheek and it was one of the best meals that was that the cheek of a cow look quite Literally, yes. What? And it was like pot roast. Which cheek?

The left one. The left one? I don't fucking know. No, no, I mean like top or bottom. Oh, you mean the butt cheek or the face cheek? Like, I don't know. What is it? That's a good point. I don't know either.

I've seen some cooking shows, so they actually take the cowhead. Yeah. And they like, they slice it, they slice, I don't know what they do, but they slice the meat off it. They, uh... It's a little disturbing. Well, they're still muscle there, so it's going to taste like the rest of the muscle, I assume. Would you eat a cowhead? Is that where the emotion is or something?

Like, I mean, we're just as happy to eat a piece of meat cut out of a cow's rib cage, but then when it comes to their face, we're like, oh, exactly. That's what I'm thinking. It's because, oh, that's what their face. Well, I could eat a human's torso with no problem, but the second I see human head, I get freaked out. Human is supposed to taste like pork. You know, it was the show's what. They actually take the cow head.

They peel all the meat off the face. Yes. And then they roll it like into a thing, and then they slice it down. But it's a muscle, I assume. It's not, it's, yeah, it's like, it's a combination of like skin, muscle, and fat. Wow. But they slice it down like it's like a sandwich meat or something. Yeah, essentially it's like Scrapple.

It's just a mix of shit. Yeah. I didn't like it, though. See a cross-section and it's like the weirdest pattern you've ever seen. Do you guys find it really weird that we still like, we're this far advanced, that we still kill animals like that and you have to eat other animals? No, but they're actually growing. That's like, that's like, I was going to say it's like a vegetarian thing.

I just think it's weird that were these really advanced things that could go to like space. And we still have to like make. make other animals and we still butcher animals and we would think we'd inventive way to not have to eat or eat something like some kind of paste or something I think it's weird No but Zach they're actually This is coming from a guy by the way who fucking loves meat There's a big industry starting right now

I think you're weird if I was like hey Zach you want to go to lunch and you're like no I got my paste tube You squeeze it in your mouth I just had a bunch of fucking paste thank you though No but there's meaning to try that I think you're gonna talk about it Yeah there's like a big industry kind of starting now where they're at growing animal parts in labs where they to eat. That's not what you were talking about, Jeff. No. No, they're actually

growing animals without brains, so they're not actual animals, but they have all the parts of animals and, like, you know, it's supposed to be vegan-friendly and all that shit. It must be expensive. That's cool. I'd be down to... I'd be down... I'd be down... I'd be down... If vegan's weren't fucking yellow. Their skeletons weren't showing.

Yellow. They're fucking gray. Yeah, they're gray and translucent. They look like aliens, dude. They're like these disgusting vating monsters. You're like, I'm so healthy. It's like, Jesus, fuck, get away from me. But here's a leaf. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I just had two crackers.

I'm fine, thank you. You fucking animal killer. I'm totally cool with a vegetarian diet. I would eat a vegetarian diet all day. So the best meals I've ever had are vegetarian meals. But vegans are a whole other level. But Jeff, does you know there's a type of vegan who won't eat anything unless it's fallen to the ground naturally? Like if a banana falls to the ground, they'll only eat that.

Here's the thing of vegans. I don't give a fuck what you do to yourself, but there's these asshole vegan parents who force their growing child to live under that diet and they come out they come up five foot two yeah they're they're short they're malnourished they have no no like their bone structure's

all fucked up they have no muscle on them they look sick they look like they're gonna fucking drop dead and die yeah and the parent the parent is delusional as fuck they're just like oh they're healthy just hippies and they have an insanely like natural diet so they don't even supplement with multivitam yeah they

they won't do that because it has to be something that's found in nature that grew on a tree or some shit. There's those weirdos that, you know, there's these expensive restaurants that serve, I guess what you call like raw food. Like, they'll make spaghetti, but there'll be no noodles, there's like no real sauce, it's all just raw.

It's like Julian squash and... Yeah, like the noodles are made out of squash. Yeah, I don't know. You don't crack on squash, all right? It's delicious. I'm crack at a vegan, give it a little baby squash. Do you know what exactly soy is? Because they seem to be able to make anything out of soy. Like soy spaghetti, soy apples, like what the fuck?

They can make... The fucking fucking Wikipedia? Well, you know about food. I was just wondering. I don't cook with soy. You know why? Because it's not delicious. It's not delicious.

And you're right. You want delicious. Talk to me. If you want soy, talk to the Asian guy up the street. I got to say, Stamper. Mac and cheese, dude. That shit would make you millions. But you somehow don't market it.

That's right. Mac and cheese. Oh, yeah. You want the Mac and Cheese. Go to Stamper's Mac and Cheese. Yesterday, Stamper was making mac and cheese and he goes, uh, do you want mac and cheese or do you want real mac and cheese? And I was like, real mac and cheese.

And then he, like, cooked up some fucking amazing... I don't even know what it was. I don't even want to ask. It was just some sort of cocktail of delicious mac and cheese. It was right. It was delicious. It was. But that fucking fall into the ground fruit stuff, fruit diet, I don't get there.

There's a term for that. I forget what it is. Fucking retards. Yeah, they're... Fucking retards. Ended. I love the people who eat... They won't eat meat, but they'll eat fish.

But then there are people... Opiscopalians? They'll wait for it to fall on the ground. They'll stand by trees. Do you think they cheat? Like, they kind of blow on something, you kind of make it kind of full? Fucking hungry. They push the apple tree.

And then, please. Love a God. They get, like, a natural, like, they get, like, a monkey, and they just kind of hit it off the apple. Throw the fucking monkey to tree. Yeah, that's the one problem with it, because, like, animals fucking knock fruit off trees. So, like, why is that okay? And humans doing it isn't okay. They don't want to hurt.

But the thing about most vegans, I'm saying most vegans, because probably not all them are like this, but they're all so, like, vocal about it. They're like, as a vegan, you shouldn't. cook food like that? Well, you know the saying Nile. You know how to tell who's a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you. Yeah, exactly. Why did the vegan cross the road?

Because he, I don't know. I don't know, because he's a fucking malnourish skeleton and he went to go buy fake food. I thought it was because he was chasing the chicken so he can put it back in the pen because he felt so bad for it. It's because his dick was stuck on chicken. Oh, wait, no, that's because the gay guy crossed the road. Wait, wait, with a gay guy fucking chicken.

I don't know. Because gay guys are in the bestialy, you know? I was a kid. What are the guy? why did the gay guy cross road because his dick was stuck in the chicken ha ha ha it's like has nothing to do with being gay at all

whatsoever why the gay guy died because he had poisonous blood he wasn't healed but oh he really fell yeah AIDS in his blood

and he didn't want to his age blood melted like an alien that's horrible that's horrible and that funny he got AIDS from fucking chickens ah we know everything

there are people that think that AIDS came from a black Like a person in Africa Fucking and a monkey And that's that's That's how you know Really?

Is that what happened? Really? Yeah, Abdul McQ Fuck the monkey That's his actual name Yeah Because it was Abdul Bikou You should stop reading

Those websites Nile Those racist websites There is a racist website That you read No I don't read it He reads It's called Stormfront

And nmania.com No I can't remember What it was called But I saw like A username That really impressed me on that website. What was it? Shilly's class. It was called... Like, this is racist,

but this isn't me. I was just doing out of curiosity, but the username that really impressed me was called Lynch Jamal. But if you say it really fast, it's Lynch-Mal. And I thought that just that was a very clever username. Wow, that's... I think he just applied that and gave him credit for... You just gave an extreme racist credit for being really creatively racist.

No, I'm given... For inventing a new way to hate black people. No, no, no, because there's like three levels to that pun that I thought was pretty clever. But I don't agree with what he's doing. I'm not racist at all. I'm just saying that that was a pretty... Why were you on a website with that guy as a username?

Because it's funny. Like, I just think... It's fascinating to see the, like, insight of what racists think. So is educational. Educational. Completely... You know, I frequent KKK.com and frequent the forums and post. I frequent...

I'm an insider, you know. But, you know, it's just fascinating. I always wonder about the guys that run those, like, hardcore, like, white supremacist sites. Like, they get a lot of traffic. Yeah. And then they have to call their server. companies and be like, yeah, you know, my site

went down for 24 hours and so what's your site? And it's like, well, I hate niggers.org and I need to get it back up and running. There we go. It's out of the others. I wasn't going to say the name because I didn't want to, like, that's not the name, but I wasn't going to say a name because I didn't want to give those pieces of shit credit. Who gives a shit? I don't know. I don't know. I hate niggers.org isn't a real site.

No, I'm not going to you any slag. I'm just, I just don't want to. No. dot niger. Dot gov. Dot gov. Dot com. It's those. I can't just say something about those sites, too.

Like, they need moderators and administrators. It's like a serious business to hate people. But the whole thing isn't actually to hate. It's, they have all these subsections like movies, home cooking, like furnishing. And then it's like the top, the top part is like nigger hating, sci-fi movies. You go into the section, like they're discussing a movie like Inception. And it's like it seems like a normal conversation, a relatively normal conversation. But then you look at the username and it's like Obama banana.

A banana eater and like The icon is Obama Eating a Madonna and it's like all like that He's like I wasn't a fan of exception The director was really poor It's like what the point? Why are you on you dude? But the like our point here is like none

It's the absurdity of these sites Yeah it's yeah it's absurd Yeah It's like a legitimate community under the guise of any It's like essentially It's like any other community Like you have You can kind of tell there are all these white suburban

Idiots that never They never couched a real black guy Yeah yeah completely They don't even sound poor. They sound, they're just kind of like middle class, bored idiots that have nothing better to do and sit on these message boards all day. Like the poor people, they're out

working. Yeah. They don't have time to do that. The poor fields all day. Yeah. Which fields? I don't know. Poor, poor trees of words. The dirt fields, the tomato fields, I don't know. Picky white people. Out of the ground, fresh. Damn white people.

They have fucking cis whites. I will say that I'm getting sick of white people. Let me tell you something, guys. Do you want to kill him? I am so sorry for every minority for being, having to deal with white people. Don't say that, don't say that. Every day I wake up.

Don't say that. Are you serious? I am so fucking sick. Don't apologize for being white. I'm so sorry for being white. I am so sorry. Don't do that. Guys, every day I wake up, I look in the mirror and scream at my shriek.

Ah, white! White! And I punched the mirror. Yeah, but I can't stand it. Look at the facts. White people bits more than anybody you will ever meet. Correct. About the most trivial fucking bullshit. They complain about the most fucking trivial shit.

They're the fucking most... Who's your best friend? That Mexican guy. Yeah. They have the worst priorities ever. The absolute worst priorities. It's so true that black people don't have time to be social justice warriors. It's like... It's rich white kids who are projecting onto others.

Yeah, you know, it's all like white people like this is what black's think of the blacks are... Although similar facts, it's white people. Yeah, it really is. It's a bunch of jizz bags living in Sanford. I've been told wearing played shirts and having two earrings and horned rim glasses I'm a self-loathing white sex I've been told I wish white people are the devil by more white people than I can count it's always like a big it's a fact like white guy with I think glass is like you're a faggotting like what you plan with those fucking plug earrings like you're you know what you white male privilege

you're like what the fuck dude you make like $80,000 a year live in San Francisco you're fucking Apple computer what are you talking about yeah like do you think that like uh It's kind of ironic the way that they think that they're speaking for black people because they can't speak for themselves. Yes, whenever black guys are like, do that's not what I think. That's not what they're like, shut up. You're shut up. You have a totalized. They're the most racist of all.

Like, I think black people can speak for themselves. Yeah. Or women. Women can speak for themselves. They don't need to be protected by some pale San Francisco jiz bag. Exactly. Everybody can speak for themselves. Straight white guys don't need to kick down the doors of gay guys and defend their fucking rights.

Yeah. Like they're fucking weak. That's the irony of it all, though. I'll protect you. You're two weeks to speed up to yourself. I'll protect you. Don't worry about those things or those guys said. If you sit over there and suck a dick,

will I do your rights for you. Don't worry about it. That is the irony of all of it. Honestly, they think that they... Have you ever seen these... That's why I like black girls. I love black girls.

Me and Stavre talked about this. We both like really like black girls. You know why? Because white girls bitch too much. They complain about everything. Black girls, don't get to shit. And they're fucking hilarious. And they're funny.

They're really funny. No, no. I don't know about it's not. I'm just kidding. You're sassy black girls? No, black girls are fucking funny. You like your coffee black, do you? No, I like white girls too.

Like, I think they're all, like, I just like, like, girls, if they're hot, they're hot. I don't care what color skin they have, but if they're black, I think that they have, like, another, like, element of being, like... You're a true illusionary of your talent. How black? Do you like, they're purple black or, like, light brown black? It depends on how funny... Do you like, purple, skinny other eyes? No, no, that's not how it is at all.

No, I just think black girls are cool. It could be just a history of, like, pain or whatever, but, like, it probably isn't. But like, you know, that's what people kind of say. It's like, oh, they see the bright side of things because, like, you know. The only thing I hate, the only thing I hate is when I get a little too chummy. No, no, no, no. I get a little too chummy with one. And then he throws out, like, the fancy black-eye handshake.

And it's like every region has, like, 23 special black-eye handshakes. And then, like, the first move is, like, your signal to, like, what handshake it is. But I don't know. It's, like, the fastest way to make a white guy feel stupid is to throw out these handshakes at him. And I'm, and he's, like, doing. all his moves and I'm like struggling to to keep up. You was like high five and he's like a fucking white cragler? Yeah I'm just like and I apologize

after I'm like I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm white forgive me. I didn't realize I'm so sorry for being a white guy. Your biggest mistake is holding your hand away from your face. You have to hold your hand at a 45 degree angle with all your fingers pointing down. Force him into a white guy handshake. Yeah. Force him into a white guy handshake

I see but if you... Actually if you do it right if you lock the right way your whiteness starts to overwhel him he starts to turn lighter. If you open up a handshake, look like you're going to slap somebody in the face, then bad things are going to happen. You have to cock it. So what if he initiates it? Somebody needs to animate this because it's really difficult. So if a black guy initiates the handshake where he, I don't know,

I don't know, maybe I could. Maybe I could force a white guy handshake on them. What if they just like, go, hello. You can't deviate. You just have to push your hand out really hard. Straight, straight. All your fingers pointed forward from your chest out with a big white guy face. You have to overpower him with your whiteness.

What if like just before they get in there with their handshake, you get in there with your 90-degree straight-ahead fucking robotic handshake? I'm going to have to remember this. This is a good, this is a good lesson. Have you seen? Do you think it's a good idea to overpower a black guy with your whiteness? I think that's been a couple times, you know, been done a couple times before. Have you seen?

Zach, have you seen the video of Obama? He was shaking. He was a hero, Hitler. I think it was every... He did hate the blacks, the aid of the Jews, all right? Have you ever heard of the phenomenon called, uh, cuckolding? Yes. Cuckolding?

Yeah. What do you think the psychology behind that is? How is it a phenomenon? Can someone explain this to me? I don't let this is. Culp holding is when a white guy wants his wife to fuck a huge black dude. That's not...

It has nothing to do with a black guy. You don't think... Your spread lies out of this podcast. That is not... That is not exactly... Can you... Can you light those... Why is it always a big guy?

It doesn't even have to be sexual, really. It's basically a married guy who's sort of letting almost let... His wife is all fucking another guy and he's just letting it happen, basically. Yeah, and he kind of gets off to it, but he...

Why did you have a black guy into that? What the hell? really has nothing to do with a black guy. I thought it was always to do it. I thought I was a black guy. Yeah, because you spent too much time on porno sites. I do spend, well, that may be true. That's not where I got my information. I'm not sure if he wants it to happen, but it's a

spymolid yourself. Well, listen. You call him a cuckold if he's married and his wife saw fucking another guy. Wait, he is the cuckold or is the girl that's the guy? You know, P.O.B. is where someone sucks to dick into your face. And it's a black guy. Yeah, it's a black guy.

Fucking a little petite Asian girl. Dude, like, you're racist. It's like being, uh, Pussie. by another guy. But why is he black? You get... What are you talking about, Nile?

I mean, it's possible. Could the black guy could be... A black guy could be involved. Let me tell you why he's black. Because he's better than you, baby. Do they want to be... His dick is bigger. His pecks are bigger.

His biceps are bigger. His wallet's bigger. Well, that's no... He probably smells better, too. Yeah. There's no dispute... There's no dispute that black people are more like, like, uh, like, uh, endomorphic than white people.

Like, they grow, or mesomorphic, like, they grow, like, they grow up. Do they have acid blood? No, that's why black people are in generally, like, like bigger and stronger than white people and faster than white people. Here we go. Here we go. It's true. I do that.

Well, they're better basketball because they have better snap reflexes. No, because they're just fucking... They have X protected to their legs. A coach just said what you said and he got fired. Wait, why is that racist? You just got fired from this podcast. Why is that racist? Wait, wait, stop.

Wait, can you please explain to me why I'm racist? Wait, no, he's from Ireland. He can't be racist. Let me have a free... I haven't met a black guy until I can't. Here. All right. That explains something. Dude. I don't know if you're being sarcastic here or not.

I'm not being sarcastic. Say whatever you want. So everything you know about black people you read on the internet. But all I know is that black people are stronger and they play better basketballs. I've seen plenty of weak out of shape black people. Yes. Yeah, you do. You see those, but like black people are... Steve Buckel. Case closed.

What's his name? Yeah, but what about Stefan Rakel? Fuck you, Stipp. Yeah, what about... What about Shaquille O'Neill? What about the fucking Stevie from Malcolm in the middle? What about the Rock? What about Bruce Willis?

What about a guy in the wheelchair? What? What? I didn't say shit. What are you talking about? Maybe you could just change the subject. Here's a really good point because I felt, I felt guilty because I under-tipped the delivery guy about two weeks ago. It was like, the total for the bill was, I thought it was $30, so I gave $36.

That's a good tip. But it was $34. Oh, I was there for that. $34. $4, I gave, and I still gave him 36, so you had like a $2 tip, and I felt horrible. Yeah, I remember that. And Stippre, you were saying, like, I shouldn't feel bad because he's just the driver. Well, that's the thing.

Because you were a driver, too, right? Stamper, I think you have a bit of black blood in you. When you, what does it have to, like, when you deliver pizza, it's not like tipping 15% for a waitress or a waiter. Which is why I usually do, like, you 15 or 20. Because she comes back consistently. When I delivered pizza, I got, they would just give me two bucks. Is that fair, do you think? $2, $3, $2,3, and that was completely

acceptable for delivery drivers. See, I do 20% on whenever I go to restaurants or whatever. They're not coming back to your table and refilling your water. You're not coming back and attending to all, they're coming here once. I did something fucking stupid. I undertip that guy, and I felt

so, I was wrecked with guilt. You could ask, I was wrecked with guilt when I was eating, I was eating really sadly. We were sitting down watching and Zach was just kind of looking out the ground for the rest of the night. And then, what did you do? To compensate, it makes no sense. It's completely fucking stupid I felt so horrible, but I were overtipped a different guy. Thanks for

bringing a punchline now! Is that it? I haven't heard the punchline though. That wasn't, yeah. Wait, no, say it again. We cut my bed out. I felt so horrible about under-tipping the one guy that I overtipped a different guy, completely different guy from a different restaurant. And by overtip, you mean... It was a $15 thing and I gave him

$25 because I felt so horrible. I know, I know. I felt that guilt ridden. And it was a Chinese dude, and I'm not joking, he was like, oh, thank you, thank you. And now every... That's my... That was not a race That's exactly how he said it. He literally bowed to me, like, put his hands together. But his triangle hatfall off with him?

Yes. No, seriously. Chichong, jing chong. Seriously, no. It makes no sense because, like, the dude I undertit him is just pissed off of me, and the dude I overtipped. Like, they're never going to talk to each other, but every time I order food from the Chinese place,

that dude always comes. And he's super stoked every time he comes because he thinks I'm going to overtip him again. Zach, uh... Whenever we order food from sleepy cabin. You don't buy vegetables. because they cost more than pizza. Yeah, so you don't buy...

Fuck you, Jeff. The vegetables come on the pizza. And you don't understand the lemon pepper and butter. I understand now. High five. Stamper, I actually... That was for him, not you. Well, I kind of hide Jack.

I can actually make lemon cod. I could do it and I can cook it. Fuck you. Oh, fuck you. You guys are going to burn your new, your house down. Did you ever cook tilapia? I'm looking forward to you. I can cook it.

Yeah, I can cook it. That stuff is the shit. But anyway, on an occasion. and we ordered. Tilapia's really high in protein. Oh, dude. It has more protein than salmon. Really?

Because tilapia is supposed to be the poor man salmon. I fucking hate salmon. I fucking hate salmon. I fucking hate salmon. Fuck you, Jeff. Salmon is delicious. I love it.

The king of fish or the king of the sea? See, actually, I don't like, like, fishy fish. It makes me sick. This would a fucking pew. But when I have salmon, it's so good. Yeah, I can only eat fish when it's deep-friad, but anyway, Jeff. Jetobuio cheese. Have you ever gone fishing, Zach?

I have all the time. I used to go camping, fishing, dirt bike riding, hunting. Dude, my life. I grew up in the Midwest, Jeff. My life is tragic as fuck. You never left your bedroom, liar. Jeff, I was hunting all the time. I shot a fucking, I shot a fucking quail between the eyes when I was 10 years old.

Why don't you tell about the time where you kill the bear with your bare hands? And that's why they call you bear. You spit my ear, dude. I swear to God, I hate arguing with Zach. It's just like lies. You can't argue with Jagger. It makes up the biggest. There's a true story.

A lot of horses shit I've ever heard. I swear to God, I'll know his life when he dies tonight. Tell us one camping story. Immediately go. Go. No, seriously, that quail story is true. Oh, here we go. When I was 10, the first of all came to with my dad.

I felt so honored. I shot a quail between the eyes. My dad said, good job. And I felt great. So, fuck you. This is how tragic my life is. My dad used to take me out fishing. Fuck you.

And we used to go about, like, five times each summer for years. And we never once caught a fish between us. But, like, I was so bad at it that once I pissed my pants. And my dad was so disappointed that we didn't catch fish and that I pissed my pants. Did you piss your pants because you got your fish and you're nervous? What did you piss your pants for?

I just pissed my pants. What is it with like Irishmen? What does these stories Irishmen tell? There's one time I went to the, there's one time I went to the lake and I pissed my pants and somebody threw a rock at me of the end. Well. It's like to see, I don't know. I don't know what it is about these stories you guys. You and Chris are like, there's one time I was running down the road and there was a bug and I stepped on it and then it's somebody spit my eye.

I had the worst day ever. I had the worst day ever because somebody spit in my eye. That's so true. That is so true. Your stories are so all over the place I but if you let me finish my story It would be all over the fucking place It already is all over the place

Stamper You pissing your pants has nothing to do with this William Andrew Snapper will you let me finish I'll let you finish Look I pissed my pants and my dad was already disappointed That I could never catch a fish And then he got even more disappointed that I pissed my pants And we just called it a day

Why did you piss your pants And we never went fishing again That's the end of your story You got you finished it That was your story to begin with My story was that he didn't know You know, you know, Donald Your dad caught disappointment that day

The whole point is you have to summarize Why you pissed your pants Oh like, okay, I'll give you the context It's like he was like this man Could be a doctor someday He's my son And ever since then he just let me do what I want Because he realized that I was just one of the rest

I was just one of the rest If I was born in the medieval times I would have died at the age of four. He knows that now. He knows that I'm not a strong one. I'm one of the weak. Oh my God, dude. Nile, if you were hitman, you would be like,

all right, so I went up to the top of the bell tower, and I had the guy in my sight, and then I put my gun down, and I ate a chocolate bar. And then I went back, and it's like, what does this chocolate bar have to do with you killing somebody? Those are Irish stories. Okay, well, Stamper. Irish stories.

I didn't catch a fish, so you don't have that part of the story, so I just, like, supplemented it with pissing my pants. That's instead of catching a fish. That's Irish honesty. He came out with the honesty. I'm trying to tell you here what happened that day when I went fishing. That day, however, that day I did see an octopus. I tried to catch it, but I didn't catch it.

That's what I'm talking about. What? Where were you fishing at, and now you're talking about an octopus? Like, that wasn't even part of your story. Nobody catches an octopus. I didn't catch it, but... How were you expecting to catch it? Just put somebody over an octopus in a fucking scalyed away.

That's what happened. What else happened on this magical adventure through the Chronicles of Narnia? My dad started just being disappointed in me for the rest of my life. Because you pissed your pants and didn't catch an aquifer of your Irish fishing adventure. Well, like, okay, well, okay. Okay, wait, let me back up a little bit. Oh, yeah, good. Let me back up a little bit.

Right. I'm telling you how boring fishing is. This is the most fucking eventful thing that happened when I went in my fishing experience because I didn't catch a fish. Fishing is great, though. What are you talking about? But I never caught a fish, so it wasn't great for me. There's a great feeling when you see the little, they go down here.

When I was younger, I thought it was the most boring shit in the world. It's relaxing now, dude. You sit there, you sit there with the beer, and you sit. And if something goes under, you reel it in, and you fucking go, look at that. And you don't catch anything? It's great, because you were on the lake. You're relaxed. I get it now.

It's relaxing. I was a little kid. I actually won a fishing competition on a boat. We went out on a charter boat, and I caught the biggest fish. Was it one of those catch-and-release things where you hit? No, I think we kept it. I've never cooked a fish. I left that up to my dog.

I didn't get you on top. You know, when people like catch a fish and then they hit it in the head with like a stone? No? They kill it? Yeah, they kill it. You can just leave it and let it suffocate, dude. It's not in the water.

You can just let it. That's torturing it. I caught this fish and then I hit it in the head with the stone and then there was an airplane and it was a skydiver flying over and then there was an octopus I saw in the water. I used to babysit for my uncle and my friend sent me a meat spin on MSN Messenger and I think my uncle saw it. And then my dad got disappointed me again because I think the baby was that my uncle saw it and then my dad got disappointed me again because I think My uncle told my dad I was watching gay porn. Yeah, you already covered that in the previous podcast.

Did I? Yeah. Did you see the octopus inside the computer? Your whole country should be nuked. That's what I think. I agree. Stipp, I'm curious what kind of grandfather you had. You ever, like, was he like a really stern grandfather?

Should we tell grandfather stories? Or was he a pervert? I need to use the rest really quick before, I do it. They helped shape us in a way. He did. My grandpa was a very kind man. Should we just let Zach go last? Yeah.

I'll tell you something about Zach. He's a liar and a pussy. I know. What, what lie? with lies he's gonna come up with about his grandfather he can't hear he's gonna say like his grandfather was like a black man his dad was his grandfather was part of

the third right got like he here we go look like he got a purple belt in guerrilla fighting looks at the bathroom now but you heard it here you heard it here first folks like with monkeys you heard it here folks okay here we go uh so yeah grandfather's

uh... oh fuck whoa I'll start sure I had three grandf One died before I was born. One was a step-grandfather. He's cool. He's still alive. He'll be dead soon. Oh, is he? Like fucking 900. And then, uh... Because you haven't been older than me, but my grandfather's like 88.

The last time I saw my other grandpa, he was in a wheelchair smoking cigarettes, even though he had cancer. I remember, uh, when I was growing up, my father was always a pretty good artist. Really? And he drew a picture of my grandpa. And half of my grandpa's face in the picture was melted. Why? And I thought my dad was a bad artist. It turns out that my grandpa was in a submarine and a steam pipe blew up in his face

and melted half of his... So my dad's drawing was completely... She's accurate. It looked like... Oh man, that's fucking sad. That's pretty much all I know about my grandpa. What about your... Half melted face. He had a half melted... World War II of us, are we right?

I don't fucking know. What about your other grandpa? CNN.com? Oh, well, World War II is... You like space stuff. I'll hear from you. Hey, uh, Zach, what about your grandpa? Yeah, tell me about your grandpa. Well, listen to me about my grandpa. Before I say anything...

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you fat, greasy, B, itch. That's rodeo brand paper towels for messes as big as Texas. Now, back to the show. Yeah, my grandfather, I have two, but one, passed away, gosh, rust his soul. You know what I mean?

But the other one who's alive. He's 88 now. He's still fucking alive. And he was one of those kind of, like, a really rough military kind of, not not military, but, you know, kind of one of those rough stern, 50s, 60s kind of dads.

But all he does now is, like, because he's 88. He's born in 1926. That's so fucking long ago But I think all he does now is like sit on You know watch Leave it to Beaver and mash And shit his pants He still, he still drinks like scotch

He just sits there and watches it Oh yeah, he's totally done He doesn't give a fuck dude He was how I can't believe he's coherent He's a veteran? Yeah, World War II in Korea What did he do exactly in World War II? He flew, he flew planes and fucking Bomb the Gooks

Which is what he'd say to me Yeah, he's it, you're just You're just paraphrasing here No, paraphrasing what my grandfather would say. He called, this is a true story. I don't if I can tell him, you can delete it, but this show is his age and his time. He looked at him and he said, yes, Martin Luther Nigger Day and laughed really hard. And I was like, damn, dude.

And my grandma was like, don't say that, Ed. And it was like, it's funny. And she was, like, trying to salvage you by, like, oh, you know, he's just joking. Your grandpa was just you in the future. Yeah, to be right now. But she was trying to, like, salvage it and be like, no, he doesn't think that way. I am totally not deleting that. I'm leaving that age.

It's funny. It's funny. You know, he's still, he's such a hero. He doesn't have no filter. He doesn't give a shit. He sits there all day. He doesn't care. I wouldn't either, dude.

Mine were like that. Both of mine were in World War II. One was flying on, like, a cargo plane. And the other one was a Navy doctor. Oh, wow. He was on a battleship. He was a doctor. I think my grandfather traded some of his services to somebody for a samurai sword.

You gave me the samurai swords. Really? Yeah, he brought back a ton of stuff from the war, actually. He brought back that. back some of those, what do you call them? One of those knives Japanese people stabbed himself in the stomach with. Sapucus or something. Yeah, like, he brought back some of them,

hand-carved the knives, those two of those. Oh, the ritual ceremony knives. You know, for being a doctor, I think him and his friends were kind of a little fucked up. I don't know. What do you mean? I keep hearing these stories about, like, my grandfather and his other friend, he'd call, I think, all I

know his first or last name, I just knew him is Morris, and he'd, uh, this guy was like, you know, I think he'd see died when he was 90, but he was the craziest fucking old man I've ever known. He was a surgeon. He used to be a surgeon, and he would, I'd hear all these stories about shit, like my grandfather had a goldfish,

and then his friend Morris came over, and he ate my grandfather's goldfish, for no reason, just because he thought it would be funny. He pulled that... That was pretty funny, though. I don't know. I don't know where this story was going, but yeah, he shouldn't have been a surgeon. There's this story, there's a story that's in my

family, this guy, Morris, he's long dead, but there was a story that he he came back from the war with a skeleton. I thought you're going to say he came back from the dead. No, no. A full human skeleton. And he left it, he kept it in his attic. I don't know how... And it was him. It was him. That's what it was...

I don't know. It was a different time back then. I guess they had fun, had fun doing crazy shit. Don't you better respect old guys, though, who are like in the war? I told me respect. Oh, yeah, no. Like, whenever I see my grandpa, I'm just like, my grandfather, it's like, you know... You remember when you were younger and used to look at people, like, old people in cars and you were like, come on, you old fuck.

Like some dudes taking too long and lying at the gas station or something. Nowadays, I'm just like, dude, take all the time you need. I do, too. I know you fucking hate everything that's happening right now in the world today because I do too. Here's the thing with my grandfather. I have infinite patience for old people. As I get older, I'm starting to understand this more and more. He just wants to be left in peace to do something, not fucking be bothered.

He wants to tell his racist jokes and do his crossword puzzle and just be left alone. In fairness, I think my grandfather's Martin Luther King joke, but isn't really a joke. It was more just like a... Oh, no, my grandfather would drop the N-word jokes all the time. Oh, no, you can't leave me in the cold with the N-word? He was every dinner. I was a little kid, even Christmas dinner, he'd be telling them at the Christmas Day. What's the best one he told you?

So, by best I mean, one that you were like, damn, I can't believe you said that at dinner time. He'd crack himself and he'd always tell these jokes and then let out a huge laugh at the end. Like, he just couldn't wait. I don't think he was an inherent racist. He just liked the jokes. I know he had some black friends. Yeah, I guess he just liked the jokes. He just didn't care.

I grew up in the Midwest. People, like a lot of adults there still say colored, like a lot of adults. Yeah, colored. Like, my uncle, my dad said that. I was like, dad, 20, whatever the year was. What's not saying? It's like he'd 50. No, there's really nothing wrong we're saying.

Hawaii's just weird. It's just weird. It's a novelty. It's like the equivalent of saying, yeah, your oriental friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a real question, though, because, like, is the, Is the offense in saying that they're the ones who's colored and white is also a color? So saying that they're...

Well, the thing is people are people. You shouldn't have to sit and point. Unless you're... It just feels weird. It reminds people of an age. Of segregation? I don't even know. I don't know.

This whole language thing is just weird to me. Everybody keeps... Every generation, they come up with a new euphemism, a new word. Or they, like, they take the good words to make them bad or they take the bad words to make them good. It's always weird. It's always like... I don't know. I think that's weird.

Like, like, previous slurs are now... good to say, but previous words that were okay to say are now slurs. The word faggots is an example that's changing. It was never, like, everyone says the word faggott now. Fagot does not mean gay. Fagg hasn't meant gay, but... Faggant meant gay for like

five months in the 1970s. But my point is, like, people are now trying to take the word fagot back. It's like the word gay. Gay, but, like, happy, and, like, then I've been homosexual. It's going through all these different changes. If I call you a fagg, I'm not calling you a gay guy. Do you think soon, like, another regular word

will turn into like to mean gay like just saying like a fucking even the word queer before the word queer meant bag which meant gay which means homosexual that word used to be like that was a descriptive word like the word gay it used to be like you peculiar I think

that's a queer observation or whatever there's when I'm talking about like words that are acceptable and all of a sudden they slowly become unacceptable and they come up with a new softer word to take its place like the most recent one is calling straight guys cis guys.

Oh yeah, you can't say straight. Yeah, straight is now an offensive word. Oh, he's straight. That implies, you know, it's better than queer. So he's cis. Like, what is cis is just, in another 20 years, cis is going to be offensive. And they're going to come into a fucking word.

No matter what, no matter what title you give the group, somebody's going to hate that group and be like, oh, those fucking blacks. You can say that without, without heavy a word. Do you know what, uh, you know what, uh, to go back to being people?

Yeah. Jesus Christ. But do you know what like cis makes it? Do you know what like cis actually means? Straight guy. No, no, no, no, it means you're the sexual orientation that you were born with. No, no, no, but like in science, like, if there's fats, right, there's trans fats, and then there's cis fats. And cis is the opposite to trans, and that's why they're saying cis.

Is you joking? No, no, I'm dead. You just mean that's the original word. Yeah, no, I'm deadly serious. It's the opposite to trans. So cis is like, they're saying, oh, so there's trans fats, there's trans people. So there's cis fats and cis people, that's how they do it. Straight guys.

But a straight person isn't the opposite of a trans. Exactly, exactly. That's why it makes no sense. But they're trying to make it, they're trying to give logic into it. And it's weird. And they even use cis as an insult. Yeah, you fucking cis. Oh, check your privilege. I know that check your privilege thing has become a meme now, but like people say that unironically.

People say check your privilege before you insults someone. And they're giz bags. Like people will tell us to check our privilege. You got headed everything, you fucking white. Yeah. Oh, as if our life is fucking easy because we're white. No way. The lot of us are fucking miserable.

I star Yeah, we all do. I love these white guys that Hey, other white guys. This is the fun, this is the most recently that bugs me. In their Twitter profile, they list that they're a feminist, right?

These fucking guys, they write, they write that they're a feminist in their Twitter profile, but it's like it should be a fucking foregone conclusion that you're... A humanist, like you want everything to be equal. Yeah, everybody should have equal rights. That should just be obvious. Women, black people...

They're proud of the fact they're like, you're never, no one else is a feminist. I'm unique. I'm a feminist. And it's like you're almost saying other people. It's a new buzzword. Yeah, I'm better. But there's some weird feeling that they have this moral high ground over people.

Like somehow other people aren't for equal rights for everybody, but they are. I don't even like bringing it up fucking because I, you know, there's enough of this bullshit going around on the internet. But it's these people, there's such a fucking lack of common sense going on on the internet. It's mind blowing. Like, Jeff. I don't even know. Jeff, do you think that because the feminites are like, like, the feminites are like, being the ones who are like kind of like trying to be fucking bring us down and we're the fema

jews no i don't i don't want to say i'm a jew i don't want to i'm not a femur jew because i don't i don't feel i don't feel dude people are people and everybody knows that people are people what is with people wanting to feel a weak and oppressed like there's too many people out there that they love they almost get a heart on from feeling weak and helpless you shouldn't want to feel weak and helpless you know you know what happened in iran last month A woman was executed for attacking, I think, killing her rapist. And she got put to death for that. And then there's these white girls who are like, I'm oppressed.

It's like, how are you oppressed? A guy at Wawa looked at my ass. It's like, fuck you. They get off on it. It's almost like a fetish. They don't want to have any inner strength. They don't want to be able to solve problems on their own. They want to blame others.

They want everybody to feel bad for them. Stamper, do you think it's almost like a fetish? or it's something that like they really just want like desire kind of It's like 15 minutes of faith The problem is human beings Human beings have evolved over fucking tens of thousands of years

They need a certain human beings need a certain amount of Shit to do Shit and difficulty and challenges in their life To grow up mentally healthy You have these spoiled fucking brats Who've grown up with no challenge Yeah nothing to do And it fucked them up

And if there's no legitimate problems People create problems for themselves. Yeah, and they start, their mentality starts getting all fucking twisted. They're like, oh my God, I have everything too good. I... That's it. That's what I've been trying to say. It's everything, it's like they don't have any real oppression, so they try to build it for themselves.

What is like that in your head? Why is that like a human thing? It's like people, it's like it's intrinsic in the human brain. Like, people just need to feel oppressed. Like, why, what is that? What were the... Yeah, you know, I don't get it. Human beings are human beings.

They need to feel oppressed or they need to have something. to point the finger at you humans evolve the problem solved when we stopped like having to run from other animals and like weather and stuff and stop having star we just said it or go oh fuck that sucks over there look at our problems and we start to point out other people problems for a time for like a hundred years or so like around the seventeen eighteen hundreds we started actually like you know fix real problems like 1900s we started to get real rights and water we gave the right to vote great

we helped other people we free we stopped slavery we did segregation that That's great. But now we're going to put it was like, everything's too good. And these two fucking people are like, oh, it is too good. That's why I'm saying we need another 9-11. I will say, we need World War III. We need a nuclear strike to happen.

We do. All this shit. Thank you. Stepper. As fucked up as that is to say, it would reset a bunch of people's brains. When 9-11 was going on, everybody was focused on that. On anthrax and shit?

Yeah, everything else. Yeah, exactly. In anthrax. I would, honestly, honestly, I'm gonna take one of these white, these fat little white guys with glasses and take them and put them in Iraq and be like, dude, complain to these fucking people. We would not think about. We need a huge earthquake to put people's morals back into order. Do you think if I put you in Iraq, would you give a shit about GamerGate or would you worry about the guy screaming Alu Ackva in the distance?

Or Angelina Jolese? Fucking kids? Who gives a shit? Did you guys hear Jennifer Lawrence and Tiddy's? Go in the fucking desert. Run from tigers, dude. The weird thing about that is it's just titties. I didn't give a fuck because it was Jennifer.

Like, it's literally just a naked body. You just luck porn. It looks exactly the same. We are scatterbrained as fuck tonight. Jeff, do you think that if we lived in a complete utopia, like a complete, like, beautiful, like, humans would just find a way? Human beings are not meant to, it's like the fucking matrix. When they're talking about, they're like, yeah, we made a perfect world and it fucking fell apart.

We need to give you guys, you need to give humans like a strike. to keep you mentally healthy. That is it. That is the truth. I know. It's like it's humans are inherently greedy like we need to find humans will there will never be world peace ever yeah ever because if every ever because if everyone decides to be peaceful there's one guy who will want to take advantage of that. Yeah there's one ass was like fuck you guys it's like oh he's peaceful I can actually just like you you surf this throne now or whatever People are naturally naturally gonna take sides yeah matter what they're gonna auto balance out each side one way or another Like, if there's some struggle going on, there's a bunch of people that are neutral, and one side is way bigger than the other.

I guarantee a bunch of people will join the smaller side just because instinctually that's what they're going to do. Yep. Yeah. I agree. Completely. It seems to be just an inherent thing that we, like, look for a balance. Like, if we're too happy, we need to balance it down to being, like, unhappy or look for a way to be unhappy. I don't know.

I think it's an equilibrium kind of thing. This century is just fascinating in that you're starting to see what happens when human brains aren't given what they need. they start to go fucking crazy. Yeah, in 100 years they're going to look back at this generation and think we were fucking bar-back. It might be worse, I don't know. If we're around 100 years to think about shit, we're fucking walking around the ruins of humanity.

You don't think we're going to be around 100 years? Do you? Human beings are fucking cockroaches, dude. There's no way. We're going to be around. Are we going to be around enough to think about, like, wow. Human ingenuity, it's the funny thing about human ingenuity is,

once the shit starts to hit the wall, we'll figure it out. No, we will. But I like imagine if all destruction happens Everyone's worried about Fallout? Are you serious? Human beings really? We are so fucking stubborn We are fucking It's like we're a parasite Like we do look for ways to evolve all the time like yeah a lot of us The internet is actually a step in evolution because we can communicate with everyone now

It's honestly it's all just like evolving into the that's it Once the billionaires start have to breathe and smog every day And things will get fixed Yeah yep once they don't have their fucking fucking jets and shit What if there's like a bad thing? Shut up Nile I like rich people. We're just sucking their balls so they give you money. Whatever 1% Nile. I don't know 1% dude. I'm 1% in the forest.

I'm 1% in the other direction. You have like Marty McFly sneakers on. Never mind. Yeah, they do tie themselves. I noticed that earlier. If they were great, they would be Marty McFly sneakers, self-lacing and all that. Well, it is Velcro. Did you notice our intersection talks now? What? Oh, would you cross the crosswalk?

It was, it wouldn't shut the fuck up. I was, I stopped. And it's like, warning, an emergency vehicle is approaching. Warning. What, really? The second it got through the intersection, warning, a train is approaching, warning. Then another ambulance, it just kept talking for five minutes. When you press the body, it says, you can now cross the road. It is all safe.

Cars will not smash into your body. Cars will not smash into you, Zach. Check your privilege, Zach. Some people are deaf, all right? Good. I hope they get hit by cars. Do you think one day it'll be like, hey, Zach, it's time for you to cross the road? Like they scan your eyes like minority

You You You see if you're blind The road, Zach Faggot Fucking weirdo You're a misogynist Zach

I just think women are stupid Unfutty What's wrong? What's wrong with hating a woman Just because she's a fucking asshole? Why can't I just hate a woman For being an asshole?

Do you think people Who misogity It doesn't mean It doesn't mean You hate all women This is the one thing That liberals did I have a liberal

I have a liberal myself No no no I'm serious I'm a liberal I'm a liberal myself So I can say this The one thing liberals that pissed me off a couple years ago was when anybody ever criticized Obama, it was like, you're a racist.

It's like, no, dude, you can hate Obama and not be a racist. Yeah. People hated Clinton. People hated Carter. Are you liberal? I've never considered myself. Libertarian, I'd say you are. Just from what you talk about.

I'm middle left. I'm middle left. I'm like middle left. Yeah, it's like I've never considered myself conservative. I've always kind of, I feel like I've just been on that liberal side. But these people are so fucking, they're like, they're like, they're like, they go into, they're like, so liberal. The furthest left is

they've gone fucking crazy. The furthest left is they give like pigs equal rights to humans that kind of thing. It's like we're not that fucking fire gone but like you want everything to be fair. I've said like the left is the far left is now so far left they're going to the far right now. I want to see. Like there's these feminist guys who are like women can't

wear clothes like dude you saw like a guy in the 50s Yeah exactly. That's you blew my mind with that point because it made me think of asteroids you go left and just come out of the right side of the screen. It made me think of like a globe. You know like the fucking earth. It It's like... What the hell are you guys talking about? Like, these guys who are so far politically left.

Yeah, no, no, Zach, seriously... Sorry. Zach has a point here, because, like, he's saying, like, you're going so far left that you love women so much, you want them to all have equal rights, and then you're like... Yeah, women can't, like, wear this.

Yeah, they're... You're liberal, you're anti-liberal. I'm not anti-liberal. No, I'm not anti-liber. You know what I am? I'm Stamper, and I sit at my computer and I work all day. What difference does it make?

No, but Stamper, you're actually right, but we're saying that if you, People are people. If you sit down, Stamper. I'm a Stamper. No, but we're saying that. I have two. No. Not liberal.

I said, I'm going to less. You're writing Republican. Stamper. I know you don't know about politics at all, but if you sit down and you do a test on what you believe in. Expert here. Oh. Well, I never. Teach us.

Well, I never. You don't talk about CNN.com, Stamper. Look, Zach completely agrees with me, but for some reason he's just deciding. He's one of those guys. who sides with the people who are, there's more people are the stronger people. Yeah, oh, I know. I think it's the one.

I'm the strongest guy. Tell me your damn story, to be honest. I'm saying, stay uproy to see it. Don't have a sidewalk to put some pistols of pants. Fuck you, Nile. Fuck you, Nile is going to become, don't cut this out. Why do you say that now? No, no, no, no, you're cutting this out.

But fuck you, you know, you've said that so many times in this podcast that it will become a mean, so please stop saying that. Say some, no, no, no, no, say some variations. God damn it, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no.

You're a racist Nile. I love you, no. Guys, okay, let's say you're racist, Dale. Okay, three, two, one. You're a racist, Nile. You're a racist, Nile. That sounds like a Charlie Brown special.

But, no, no, Snapur, I'm saying if you sat down and you did a quiz on, like, what kind of section you are in the fucking political spectrum. You'll probably be around the same as us. That's all we're saying. I know you don't care. I'm just, I'm part of the Common Sense Party. That's what I'm part. Oh, okay.

I'm the reasonable common sense party. What, Adam. Do you? It's completely reasonable. Calvin said... I'm not looking to be upset. I'm not looking to be hurt and offended. I don't care. I'm busy.

I'm looking to go and buy products and pay what I owe and... But that's the same with everyone. That's the same with all... Sorry, I did it a bad. Zach did a boo-boo. You're a misogynist, Nile. I'm not just because women... You're a misandrist.

Nile rapeswomen.com. Do you hate men? Don't direct people... You should buy the domain. No, don't buy the... Nileapswomen. No better Go to website

For Nile Rapy Women.com Well, now that we've alienated a few people With our bullshit Jeff, like I have a few people you mean Every fucking person listening Ooh those Subject change Immediately, Zach

No Shave November No Shave November Okay We should not do I don't want to close on New Shave November Zach I noticed you're growing a lot of stubble lately

Is this for no shade November No prostate cancer to raise awareness? No. I should have noticed, Zach does have a beard coming in. Yeah, you does have one coming in. This is disgusting. No, it doesn't. It looks good.

You look rugged. I don't know why. I have the antly ant-de-hair here. I can't grow hair right there yet. Zach is into this thing where he's like, I need to look. I'd love to wear a suit and I'd love to be cleaned-s-shaven and look like I'm from the 50s. Shut up. So you brought this stuff earlier today.

I'm dying to know what no-shaven. All these guys grow up public hair to commemorate 9-11. Okay, so what is it really? You think that's a false? Yes. I think that's not real? No, because you smile when you lies at. No, for 9-11, what you do is you get a boner and you sit down and your friend gets a boner.

Nile! Shut up! You both sit down with your boners. And then people throw paper airplanes into your wieners. I get it. That's it. Okay? Yeah, exactly.

No shape November. How did you know that? Jeff, your stubble looks great today. Thanks. See what? You would Jeff. I'm tired of facial hair. No, no, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you pull it off.

Jeff. You would stamp her. Samper you do it too. You could do the cybers glow in your face. like that. That's because I am. I'm a boy. I'm a big boy.

So what's with no, no mustache? But the hipsters don't shave for the month. Yeah, yeah, but your 19-year-old neckbeard

for a month because they want to help cancer out. But the thing I don't understand. That's what I was waiting for. Yeah. The thing I don't understand is it's for cancer awareness. And everybody knows about cancer,

Stamper. What kind of cancer? Prostate cancer because it's through medicine. It's like breast. It's like the opposite of breast cancer. How does you're growing your beard out do anything? Because you set up a page on Movember.com or whatever,

and you get people to sponsor your fucking, you growing... So you said it's for cancer? Yeah. Is it say you feel connected... So it's like all these people in their cancer beds grow out their beards because they can't. Well, they can't, because they got chemo. They can't grow hair. So you feel like a sense of consolidation with them or something.

Wait, guys grow beards because chemo patients can't grow? I'm just guessing. It's more like taunting. I have no idea. I have no idea what it means. It's like taunting. that don't you think. I don't understand it. It's like when women grow their

tities out. Yeah, for breast cancer, literally. I hate... Or feminists grow their fucking armpit hairs out. The fact that this exists in humanity is... It's a perfect example of where we've... Fuck people, fuck Earth. Thank you. Thank you for listening. Arguably, like, the biggest

charity, like, causes in the world is cancer, but, like, cancer still hasn't been cured yet, so, like, all right, Nile, we have to wrap this up. I'm going to ask you a bunch of rapid-fire questions. You can't think. You just have to answer. Go for it. Favorite color.

Blue. Guys or girls. Girls. Uh-huh. Busted. Busted, my friend. No, if it's not true, it's not true at all. Jack, same thing.

Favorite movie, go. Robocop. The least favorite movie, go. Robocop 2. Guys or girls, go. Robocop 2. Okay, then. Stamper, guys are girls.

Guys, shit. Guys are girls. Guys, shit. That's what? Favorite video game. Devin'emate Cry 3. Least favorite video game. Not Devil May Cry 3.

Dick size. Five. Yes. Wait, true story. They almost saw my dick before Jeff walked in. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, we really tried to haggle loud to pull his dick out because we heard Jeff closing his fingers. Wait, yeah, that's a true story.

That is a true story. From Stryphist, you tell it. No, you tell it. Stamper and I were sitting in our chairs looking now, and I was kind of in front of us. We're like, now, pull your dick out. and he was really subconscious, but for five minutes, we tried to convince him.

And about the fifth minute, he almost did it. And before, we heard, separately heard Jeff's cordial close outside. And I went to time in, so now I'll pull his dick out, and Jeff would walk in,

but it didn't happen. It was so close. Jeff walked in, I didn't hear Jeff dark. I need new friends. I'm tired of talking to you guys. I'm done. I'm thinking of this.

I don't know, guys, it's really cold in here. Listen. He was trying to impress him. Yeah, he's sort of like joking up. He sort of stroking him to get, like, that's bullshit. That's bullshit.

Look, it was nice knowing. I'm here right now. I don't want to see now as weiner. Pulling it out, the chub thing, I have to defend myself with that. I wasn't trying to get a chub. I was like debating whether to pull it out or not, so I need to do friends too. I'm so fucking tired of dick talk. Oh, fuck you.

I want, I want a hat. Zach, if you could name a comet, what would you name it? Jeff's asshole. There you go. There you go, folks. Jeff's asshole is nearly the sun. The trails are burning off. And you write cartoons.

Jeff's asshole. Step, you're going to wake up dead tonight. How was it gonna wake up? Holy shit, I'm dead! Oh no! If I was to name a comment, I would name it Nile. I would name it B5379. They ran out of Greek god names. You have to name them like a numerical...

What if I name it like Aphrodite? Is there one... That's a good one. Let me just name it the Terminator. Just call it the Terminator. The one that's in here. The one coming towards here. An asshole scientists name it the Terminator. And there's nothing you can do about it. It's like who comes up with the name?

names for like hurricanes like hurricane sandy and Katrina terminator why they're all named after women yeah yeah what got they call like hurricane fucking annihilator there's plenty of hurricanes of it's good guys that's not nice Ivan the people gonna die and then news people like yeah 83 people died because of hurricane annihilator they got an annihilator I'm saying anilator because Nile's in the name oh you selfish motherfucker dude everything revolves you know what son all right I'm gonna call you son from now on because we all revolve around you well I'm the fattest here so technically you do yeah it's true son fat ass

No, I'm just kidding Don't call me fat in this podcast We have 30 seconds left I don't know the ladies listening to think I'm fat Because I always say that I'm fat But I'm not that fat But you are fat Thanks for listening to Sleepy Cass

I'm Stamper TV The name is Zach, don't wear it out It's fat, fat boy slim It's Jeff, J-E-FF Not J-E-O-F No, no, G-E-O-Fs Whatever man Good night

Good night Love you We have 10 seconds left Let's start screaming Oh Fuck you. I'm not fat. I'm not fat.

He's a liar. You are fat. You are fat. You are fat.