SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 10 - [The Pornography Hour]

Episode Date: November 25, 2014

Hey gang, sorry this is so late - our home was recently sold, so we've all been moving to new houses. This episode should tide you over until the smoke clears, and we can finally sit down and do our much-anticipated (kinda) Q&A episode! http://sleepycabin.com/audio/sleepycast-10/ This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) Oney (www.youtube.com/OneyNG) Niall (www.youtube.com/Cryburgers) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

Questions and answers is postponed until later. Sorry about that. Here's a regular episode for the time being. If you don't like it, you can take it out on my little butt with your winger or fingers. I shouldn't have said that. Why do you like do that? Because it's fun? You guys are honestly... The Billy Danish.

I am a one I am the one I am the way I am the way Okay Okay Okay One two

I am the one One two three Ah You're faggot, Chris. One, two, three. You barely change. My lover. What does he even say at that part?

Is it says that or claims that? Claims that. Claims that. Ha! Except he doesn't do it farcepheta, right? I can do vibrato with the less kids old. Never heard that one before. So, I'm Mr. Christopher.

I play Dark Soles. No, he got you there, man. Fuck you, Sandra. Really? Fuck you. With the Michael Jackson molester joke? He died five years ago. I am fresh to the game, my friend.

It's untrampled snow here. Very james. Well, it's recording. Oh, shit. There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest.

away neatly within a blanket of twilight lies a quaint little cabin and in that cabin. He's a bunch of guys he's a bunch bullshit. Welcome to Slavycast! I'm Nile and I'm here with Stamper TV. Hi. Zach Hadel

also known as psychic pebbles. Well, hello there. Ha ha ha, hey. I can see you there. And Chris O'Neill. That's a good one. Hi! That's a little joke for you video gamers. It's a little thing called Mario Bros. Wait, what? You were doing the Mario Brothers thing. Oh, I was. I was doing. in the Navi. I don't think so. Anyways,

Grit Start to Horrible Podcast. Let's still be all right. Yeah. I don't like being the introductory, introductory. Just delete everything with Nile. Keep the rest. Now, did you make coffee? I sure did, my friend. How many scoops did you use in the coffee? A good amount. How many? No, I use about the... Stamper uses way too much. How much? You use a bit more than I usually use, but you don't use near as much as Stamper uses. But Stamper likes strong coffee. You know, I just... I also like... You know, is this hot water now?

Have you guys talked about coffee on the podcast? I don't think hot water is... I took the pre-existing coffee and poured new coffee into it now. I don't use too much coffee. He uses that. Stopper. Your copy is strong. I don't know if it was just the one time...

My coffee might be a little bit strong, but I follow the direction. Stamper. When it's 10 cups coffee, I use 10 tablespoons. Yeah, there might be heaping tablespoons, but I still follow the rules. No, Stamper, you don't understand. You know, it's not the amount of 10. spoons of coffee you put in that makes the more coffee. It's the amount of water that's put in that dictates the amount of coffee being made.

Let me show you how you make coffee. You said, yeah, you see what I do? I just put grounds in the filter and I make it a little mountain. And that has nothing to do with the amount of water you put in there. No, the amount of coffee you put in how strong it is. Yeah, exactly. You put it in. You put little baby sprinkles in.

No, I do not. Stamper takes a big, mighty fist, and grabs the coffee and puts it in. No, no. It cooks it, and I take it something like, God. Your coffee, I pour it into my coffee. looks like my pee in the morning yeah it's like week I will look in clear it's transparent okay I could see the bottom of the cup that is that coffee I've seen the remaining of the filters of your coffee and Stamper's coffee yours is

much much much much much less than Stamper's I'm not cut stampers stays tastes really good I like Stamper's but I'm just thinking it's a little bit unnecessary to have that much coffee in it I would rather drink really good coffee for a month than average coffee for two months I know but then you know yeah but last you wake up in the morning I don't have to wake up in the morning I don't want to drink hot water. I took a sip and I said wow I liked to look in I said did I put hot water in here? No it's just Niles coffee no look copyright 2014 coffee right? I'm leaving no I but okay once I was emptying the filter of the coffee right

I saw I saw the I saw the like wet filter and it was like imagine this was it heavy yeah it was actually heavy that's good coffee no no no you know you see those it's close you was over it's good did you ever see those you know fucking standard you No standard coffee filters, right? Yes. Stamper's coffee was like higher than the top of the coffee filter. Bullshit. You're exaggerating.

I swear to God, one time it was. The one time I saw it, it was. All right, first of all, coffee filters are fairly big. Why would they make them that big if you can't put that much coffee grounds inside of it? If they would also, I make... It's like a reservoir for the water. I make pots of coffee for 10 cups, man. Yeah, but...

He doesn't... The amount of coffee... The amount of coffee you put in the filter does not dictate the amount of cups made. It's the amount of water. It's a standard amount. It's a set amount of water you put in. How many people think that me and Zach's coffee is good? Raise your hand. You think never tasted any of many people think now's coffee, shitty, raise your hands. They never tasted it. Alright, this is just ganging up.

That's right. This is just ganging up, but... Oh, fuck you, Chris. When you guys drink coffee, do you actually feel the difference? Yes, I wake up, I say, I'm a coffee and I go drink my coffee. It's more like... Dysentatize to coffee, it doesn't even really work. No, stamper, listen to this.

It's more like... If you never not had coffee... Yeah, that's what's gonna say. It brings you normal now. It makes you normal now. Like heroin, you know, it's... At first you're like, whoa, it's great. And then again, then you need it to stay normal.

It's kind of like that. How often do you shoot up heroin? It's not just guys add on this book. No, but I don't drink coffee often, but I never feel any different when I drink it. That's the thing. See, like, I need it. I don't need it, but I like it in the morning. And then when I get it, I'm good to go.

But then at the same time, I can drink like 15 cups and not have a problem. I don't mean to sound like... I think it's kind of a placebo in this sense where it's like it's hot. It's like, when I get my coffee, I'm going to wake up. It's kind of like a thing. Yeah, a ritual. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ritual, exactly. I'm gonna wake up, we're gonna...

So it's like a little shower. Exactly, I was gonna say it's like a hot shower for your mouth. I don't mean to sound like one of those like coffee twats. Yeah, but I don't want to sound like a coffee twat, but I kind of need it to like function normally instead of like being a zombie for the rest of the day. That's fine. I feel like a zombie all day every day. Good coffee.

Good coffee, my friend. I do, but it doesn't do anything. That's what I'm saying. That's because you don't have it that often. Plus you drink that pussy shit with ice coffee. What's the difference? That's just sugar. Then you break down.

Nothing. That's just sugar? Yeah. Drink a hot coffee. Drink a hot coffee with... Well, not. There is coffee. It's coffee with ice and sugar. It's so little coffee, though.

It's something girls drink to think they're actually drinking coffee. I love ice coffee, dude. It's something girls drink. It is. It is. It is. Well, yeah, well, like, I do feel gay going into Starbucks and asking for an ice car. I take ice coffee out of coffee.

Do you ever go out? Ice coffee is fine, but it's not good enough to wake up. It's not coffee. There's more cream and, like, fucking ice and water there than there's coffee. Okay. What you want to taste coffee? You know what I mean? Come on.

Turbo ice coffee. Stamper. Turbo and Don't get dronuts. Corey gets the turbo all the time. Do you ever kind of feel a little bit gay going into Starbucks and asking for a turbo? No, not turbo, sorry.

Ice caramel, macchiato or something like that. Does that kind of make it a little bit like... Me, I used to get that every day. Yeah, we used to get... You ever feel gay with you? No, because it's delicious. It's so delicious. You know what Starbucks has?

They got that vanilla latte, and the vanilla latte is very delicious. I have one... You say, if the normal coffee is garbage. I have one more thing to run out of now. You ever feel gay when you deeper a dick and look some guy in the eyes when it comes down your throat? You know what I mean? This ended fast.

You killed it. That's good from sleeping cats. I did not think that would end that that fast. Damn. It's relatable though. Everyone deep throats cocks. Do we talk about Chris doing his fake blowjob in the air? Chris does this thing to piss us off where he looks, he right in the eyes and does a fake, violent deep throat gagging.

Chris, do it to stompers. Oh, I don't want to do it. My hair's really long and it'll actually look like a girl. I know. I know. It does it. Like, his hair, like, flows back and forth when he does it.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. But it's the way he does it. I don't know. He's way too into it. It's like, you know when people kind of like put their thing and they do a fake blow job like that?

The way Chris does it, it's like there's an actual solid dick there, so he stops at a certain point and he keeps going back and forth. And he looks you, he looks right the eyes. He looks you right in the eyes. And it makes you want to hit him in the jaw more than anything else he does. Yeah.

And he gags at the right time too. Like when he goes out, that's when he says, okay, stop, stop. Yeah. The only reason I do that is because. Delulated you second. It's just like... No, look stippering on the eyes while you do it.

I'd be like... What is your fascination with Chris? Look! The only reason I do it. Look! I woke up and Chris was holding me down, doing that to my face and I sling to push them off of me. I was doing it to your face. I was traumatized.

It was your wiener. At PTSD. But no, the only reason I do that is because once I was dating a girl and she got really pissed off because I asked her to do it for me and it made her so angry. Look you in the eyes? Yeah. Is that trouble for girls to look you the eyes? She was just like, I'm not a porn star. Oh man, that happened to me.

I actually, like, I don't want to sound like a fucking, like, asshole, but like I slapped her in the face with my dick. And she got so mad. Okay, that, that, I slept with my, she got so mad. I fucking hit her in the face with my fist and she kind of upset. It was just like. I socked her in the eye and she went to the floor, just good. It's not, it is. You can't, it's, yeah, it's just annoying.

It's funny, though. I don't understand anything to get upset, though. blowing somebody so if you take it once it's annoying it's it's like it's like when you're a little candy your sister you know touches your face so when you touch her face with your dick it's what those annoying things kids do wait wait but it's like one of those poros where girls eating a dude's butt hole out and he farts and he laughs oh you see that too I'm quitting this industry is the most disgusting oh man I saw that deep-hook everyone everyone can relate to that though because like one like I could

firt okay I've actually never farted during sex right but if a girl queef during sex, I would get mad. Even though, if I've heard it during sex, I would probably laugh. Most girls do queffered all the time, though. I know, there's always quiff during sex. I don't get mad unless they laugh. Yeah, me and Chris talked about this before. What, yeah, you mentioned that before. What is that? It's, it's cute.

If they laugh, it's like, oh, you think something's funny? It's like a guy farting, though. It's the weirdest. It's like, if they quife and they get really embarrassed, then you laugh, but if they quiff and they laugh, then you get really mad. Yeah, no, because you're like, oh, God. You fucking dick. Yeah, it's funny. You just quefed on my dick. You're like, why? That is so

weird you guys had a discussion about it's cute though if she's like oh she blushes like uh yeah she's like she's like her pussy and she's like oh god it's like the funniest shit ever but the second she's like ha ha ha then you're like stop yeah the second she's uh you know shooting out queef pellets is a problem quiff pellets yeah you ever see a quiff pellet wait what it's like it's like a little it's like a clam when you come inside a girl so she's actually like a heart it's after a hundred years or some shit yes it coughs out how much is it worth little pearls well probably not very much but you can you can collect them if you'd like to Got to catch them all.

Man, Zach, you were killing this pie. Wait, Zach, you're wearing a pearl necklace right now. It's a sperm necklace. It is a sperm necklace. Hardin cleave pellets necklace. Stamper of, if there was such a thing as cleave pellets, would you, would you grab one? Would you touch one? Oh, yeah.

You would have you? Just touch one? It would feel like a fish egg. It would feel like a fish egg. No, it's not like a little ride. It's like a little ride. It's like a pebble like your shoe. You know what I mean?

It's one of those things where you fucks. That's like a kidney stone. Chris would it be like a bubble. Yeah, exactly. It's a kidney stone when they quief them out. I thought, I would imagine it would be kind of like a bubble. Now, you think of a girl saved up enough though she could just shoot them at you will, like a BB gun, they get stuck on your skin. Or like, you know when you're kid and you have those like bubble things you blow?

She puts one of those up there and then like a big bubble comes out. It's nasty. I know for a fact you all remember this. What was it like the first time you fired it in water and you saw bubbles come up? I don't remember that for all. I don't remember the first time. I do it in the bathtub still as an adult. If I do everything bad as I do a big fart and I laugh every time.

Yeah, once I walked in, I was like, I didn't know we had a hot tub and Zach's like we don't. And I was farting in the... I hate you. A joke is so overdone. Yeah, Niall. That wasn't the Lion King 2. Was it really? Yeah.

Was it tomorrow, Bumba? Yeah, when Pumba left the hot tub. Not only do you know that was already a joke, but you know was a joke from Lion King 2. I don't remember Lion King 2 at all. Simba's cry, dude. Yeah, but that song is good There was a wooden good song in it Yeah, that's the only reason that movie was anywhere to be seen

There was a good song in it What about two and a half where it was just to mold and poop But they were in the movie Was that three? Huh? Was that three? No, it was called two and a half That's stupid.

Yeah, they just didn't want to make three Because they wanted to save it like, I think For a trilogy Sampere looks like Tony Soprano Hmm? Yeah You're doing a weird thing Are you like meditating?

I'm fucking drunk right now I am so fucking wasted. You had like a zillion lines in your head. I'm wasted and tired, but I'm going to stick it through this podcast and try to make poignant responses. Okay, here's a good thing we could talk about because we're all going through right now. Moving house. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Moving. We're all going our separate ways. To step back, we all live together in a big house, me, Zach, Chris, Chad, Corey, a bunch of people. Nile. Nile. in one house and they are now selling that house which if you're renting a place you're going to have to understand that that's a potential consequence she's like get out so everyone

has to leave now so we all had to leave and we kind of split ways there and we're still in the process we're still in the process of doing that right now and this will be history soon but that's what we're doing right now at this second So if you're listening and you're moving, we understand your pain. Do you remember that time we went to set up the electricity for the house? And we were standing, oh no, it was the office. And we were standing in the queue. And it was cramful of people.

And I was standing in front of a lady. And she was like, excuse me, sir. Can you get your butt out of my faith? Excuse me, sir? Sir. And you turn around and you were like, yeah? And she's like, could you get your butt out of my face? Wait, what?

Was she really short? She was sitting down. She was sitting down. And my ass was like five feet away from her. She was like, get out of my face. And I was just like, okay, sorry. You had no choice. We were standing in a line.

We were crammed in a room that was full of people. Yeah, why did she fucking move? Because she was sitting down on a bump. That room was a fucking disaster. We had to go down to the city to get the power turned on at the office here. Yeah. This is this crammed, fucking disgusting fucking lobby. Do you remember, there was like a million angry people sitting there all at once.

It was super hot. And then when the person was like, okay, all you normal people stay here. And anyone who's setting up a business, like, just you come with me. And they all. looked at us and everyone looked so angry. She was like, so who's setting up an office, who's setting up an office account right now? And then we were the only

people that raised our hands. She was like, okay, you come with me. And then she brought us to like fucking Willy Wonka's chocolate land where everything was perfect and beautiful and nice. Those people looked so mad, dude. There was like, there was nobody in the other room that we went to. It's like, they brought

us down to this men and black place where they set up our business account. It was great. And then they flashed us in the eyes with that little clicker thing and they were like How do you remember? How do you remember? Because I get bills every month Nile. Loopholes, bitch. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Wait. Wait,

are we going to have to do that when we move house? Yeah. That's the thing. When you move like, all right, so when you move into a new place you have to pay more often than not, first, last, and security deposit. Let's say you move into a humble place that costs like $1,000. That's not really humble, but we live on the East Coast, not the Midwest, where

everything costs $500. $300 a month. than one apple. But so over here, like more often than that you're gonna pay around two grand if you're fucking lucky and live in squalor

or three to five grand if you're gonna live in someplace. And the biggest problem is too even if you live alone it's still what a thousand bucks a month for some shitty crammed apartment? Yeah,

so I lived alone and I paid a thousand dollars a month almost a thousand dollars a month but then I had to triple that up and then I still have to worry about fucking utilities. Yeah. I still have to worry about

fucking utilities. I'm slurring my words. What are the worst parts of movie is you have to get your fucking address changed on everything. Oh, my Amazon account. Your bill, everything has to be changed. It's such a hassle.

I wanted to change my address in the bank, and they said I need proof of address. I'm like, this is my proof of address. I need to get bank statements to get a proof of address. For your mailing address, though, just go online and change it. Say, here's my name. I used to live here, and now I live here. You can do it online? Why didn't

let me do it in the bank? Yeah, but, you know, you still have to go online. Or it'd still be wise to go online and change your address. It's all boring shit anyway. It's very boring. Yeah. Moving sucks. Yeah, it does. This is my first actual real taste of being an adult.

We have to move. We have to kill ourselves. There's tons of flies in this office. It's dragged me fucking nuts. And there was a cloud of flies just following me all the way home. And I thought they were landing my ear and laying eggs and shit. It was really bothering me. Do I tell you what happened to a lady? My mom knew? No.

She went to the doctor. She was like, my ear's itchy. And then they stuck in tweezers and pulled it a big long spider. That's disgusting. Oh my god. A little baby spider crawl into her ear and ate her earwax and it got too big to crawl out so they had to pull it out. You can't get nutrients from ear wax? I tried. Spide is canes. How did she feel like there's a spider there's She was like, oh my ear itches. My ear is my god that's terrible. You see one of those videos where they pull out like a big like a long like grasshopper length thing out of somebody's ear like a big cicator or something? No. Like how do you not notice that's in your ear? Your ear drum is

only like half an inch in. Yeah, if you scratch the inner ear, you're gonna feel a huge fucking, like, antler or something. Like, do you never touch your face? Like, do earwaves actually go inside your ears? I clean my ears every day. Me too. Every time I get out of the shower, I put a little cutip in there. That's one thing I barely ever do. That's one thing I rarely do is clean my ears.

You never clean your ass either. Gross. Yeah, I clean it like maybe once a month. You can clean your ears, Nile. Pupports are gross. You ever see the fucking Ailey before? What? What did you come from? Did you? What's that?

Do you see an alien? Yeah, I saw one yesterday. Oh, an alien? An alien? An alien, which is much scarier than alien, by the way. You don't want to fucking... Way scarier. I saw an alien, I laughed and smacked into the face.

You do not want to see an alien. Aliens are in movies, constantly. Alioms. Alioms? Stamper, you want to talk about your alien experience? No, not yet. Not yet. I don't trust you guys enough.

Okay. Stippper, I trust you with my alien story. All right. Wait, wait, what is an alien? Well, Chris, an alien, you know, it's got those big black eyes, those big, big cute lips that you kiss every night. It's got those big, skinny... Wait, they don't got big lips, they got literally no lips. Yeah, I said cute lips.

They have some of those they stick their tongues out and giggle, but that's an alien. Alioms. Alioms. Instead of them actually abducting you, they walk in your room and go... And then leave up, and you could swear to God there was an open window, but it's just an alien. You're bothering you. It's horrifying. Does he crawl out the window instead of like going into... He basically, basically the alien is just like trying...

It's a sound defect comedian. Like he just tries to impersonate sounds. Like he's like, he's like, oh, doors open. No, it's just an alien. It's just a door opening though. They flew to our planet from the hands of light ears. To do the, yeah, we're their test audience to see if we're good enough for stage and if their act is good enough. So they just walk around places. For real aliens. Yeah, yeah, for the real aliens.

But the aliens, they think, oh, aliens are scumb. Get the fuck out of here with your door noises. They come down here. They test shit out. of shit that goes on at nighttime. Yeah? You know, put steps? It's just an alien stopping his feet. Yeah, you go downstairs,

your Xbox games, your discs are sitting out of the cases and they got fingerprints on them? Alioms. They have fingers? Huh? Yeah. Why wouldn't they? Well, they're their fingerprints? Yeah. I wish they could grab people. Well, humans have fingerprints, but I look like little crop circles.

It'll be funny. If an alien had pubes, instead of getting like a Brazilian, he shaved it in like a little crop circle. He was like, do-do-do-do-d-d-d-d- him naked but he has pubs still. And he has like no shame.

You just did alien smile before? That's the easiest way to make scary aliens funny. Just give him pubes. You get an alien smile before? So at first you're afraid and then you look down and it's just the most hilarious thing. He's pubes. What can't you make funny with pubs?

And then you wonder why he's like trimming them and making shapes if he has like alien barbers and stuff. Like he's bald. He has no hair on the top. Aliens are stupid that they look lanky and like disinterested. And then they add pups and that's the funniest image. Dude, the funniest picture ever is that picture of the fucking stupid, broken-looking alien shaking hands with Hitler. And Hitler looks disgusted.

He's like, he's recoiling backwards. The alien's eyes are like, I'm watching you. Yeah, they're like squinting. He has a stupid broken arm and it's so stupid looking. Oh, God, aliens are great. I'm feeling they're becoming the new skeletons though. Oh, they are. They're totally because of these skeletons.

Let's step back for a second. Of course, Zach would have to bring up Hitler again. Look it up. It's funny. It's funny. Do you know what Zach said completely unironically earlier today? He said, you know what? We should bring the goose step back.

What I said was I miss goose stepping. Yeah, but you never do that's a thing. You miss goose stepping implied that you goose stepped before. What is goose stepping? It's the way that... Could show up a goose step? There's a podcast so people can't see goose stepper. basically it's thinking

No, don't do the Oh, it's like the ministry of silly walks It's a cool walk Imagine a million guys walking, goose stepping But it's like what Zach is doing Is he slowly adding more like Nazi ideal I'm not putting a frog in a turn to him slowly

You're testing the waters a little bit You're dipping your toes Look, some countries still do it today I'm just saying the Nazis really A lot of stuff that was cool Like what? Like killing Jews They kind of ruined that whole phase

Goose stepping looks like a pain in the ass. Why would you want to walk like that? It's scary. My commanding officer told me to goose step. I really, like, really. It makes a cool noise. Exactly. A million guys' goose stepping can use to them.

Even the name, though, it's like it sounds kind of like a ballet dance or something kind of fruity. A million guys going, whoo-uh. In unison would sound amazing. Let's all do it. No, no, god damn it. On three or? Yeah, three, two. Okay, three, two.

Uh, a false one. Three, two. Three, two, one. three to one uh what three to one go what's the noise again okay three two one one do it again three two one see that's nice now imagine a million people doing that okay let's do it's here a three to one talk like Zach three two one I never say my name I love hip lord oh you're fucking dad you know that you know that you know what what What does everybody do, and everybody say, let me do the impression.

They always say, they always say the name of what you're doing. My name is so-and-so. I know. I'm Bill Clinton. It's like, yeah, he says that all the time, you fucking fraud. You're fraudulent is what you are. I'm Bill Clinton. That's not true.

Christopher Walker. I'm Arnold. I used to see you. Stamper, you love Arnold Schwarzener impressions, don't you? Oh, they're my favorite thing. What's your favorite thing they say? It's the apex of comedy. Do you think Christopher walking is just below, I?

Walking Matt Arnold, that would be hilarious. What are you guys saying Christopher Walking? Walking. Chris got really mad at me one time. Because he did like an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. I was like, don't do that. But everybody does it unironically now. So they do it like ironically, which is now becoming the new...

No, it wasn't. Me anyway, it was Hans. Oh, it was Hans? Yeah. I was in the room going, ha ha. It's the most fucking obnoxious thing when people do Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. Only because they always do the... I'm not Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.

No, they always do the room. Oh, no. Oh, with Zach, you kind of did it more realistic, like Arnold, but like, he's a guy. He made movies. When he first came around, do you think people were doing impressions of him when he first came? No, you wouldn't date. Let me tell you, the lowest form of comedy is impressionist comedy. No.

It's easy. Listen, I don't agree. I think Christopher Walking is very funny. Arnold Schwarzenegger is very funny. George Bush. Sylvester, the cat is very funny. You can't do George. You can't forget George Bush.

Lowest form of comedy is... Every stand-up comedian that does Impressionist Comedy does. Christopher Walken, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Bush, Bill Clinton. Like Ray Romano? There's like five they always do with. And they're never jokes. Just like, hey, I'm talking like this guy.

Now I'm talking like this guy. Now I'm talking like this guy. Have good night, everybody. One person kind of goes like, oh yeah, it does sound like him. Yeah, that does sound like here. Yeah, they never make jokes while they're doing it. It's always like.

Yeah, the best reaction I'll ever get is, huh. Yeah, that's it. I think, I don't think it's the lowest formic. I think as song parodies, but like really badly don't want. No, because you just go like fucking, like pick any song

there, pick a song. Who let the cat? How is that? Yeah, Weird Al, like, okay, I don't like Weird Al, that's a real fucking song. Is that really? That's really weird Al actually has that. Released. It's fucking gags. But at least he can play instruments and sing it. No, you wrote a fucking parody song with me. Yeah, but that was ironic.

It was ironic. Oh, it's ironic. It was ironic. It was ironic. Maybe Weirdell thought who let the cats was a riled. Yeah, and ours was actually funny kind of... No, no, no, no. I would give it zero out of ten. No, about a three out of ten. Zach's gone, let's make fun of Zach.

Oh yeah. And I like... World War II. And I like two. And I like two. I like two. Hey guys, if you see that do, uh... That dude with YouTube channel...

Stamper. It's got the Civil War and... Stamper! I like World War. Stamper! No! Ah! For those who couldn't see that, which is everybody,

Zach was actually behind Stamper. That's double whammy. Did you take your belt off in order to choke me? No, I got a floor over there. I took it up really because I'm fat. Let's talk about something crazy. All right, stop. And wacky.

Nile, I'm gonna count down for five. And then you say the first noun that comes off the top of your head. Okay. And then we'll have a topic on that. Yeah, but if you count of five, I'm already thinking of nouns. You have to do it. I know, that's the whole point.

So it's like a random, it's like a random. Just pick one. Stop by the one. Okay, go, go. So I go, five, three, two, one, and then noun. Okay. Okay, so five, four, three, two, one. Down.

Down. Did you just ride down with noun? Also. It was mine, dude. Also, down is not a noun. I was actually going to say noun, but- Five, four, three, two, one. Town.

Zach, five, four, three, two, one. Brown. Chris, five, four, three, two, four. Round? Stamper, stop frowning. Stamper, I want to give you, you pick a bird, okay? Cooking. Because you said herb.

That's what herb came into your head, and then he said cooking. What? Yeah, you know what fucking happens, Stamper. What the hell are you talking about? Okay, pick an adjective that... Soccer. Soccer's shit. I hate soccer as a baby by dad.

I used to take me everything. I hate soccer, dude. I don't like it. Do you mean like... Giant would be an adjective. Soccer is the main reason I hate going to... to bars because every time I go to a bar it's fucking atrocity. Try going to one in Ireland.

It's fucking atrocious. I don't doubt it. I honestly don't get the appeal of it. You ever played soccer before? Yeah. It's the least phone of any sport. I was on the orange team. Really? Did you play a lot of sports when you were a kid's damper? Were you like a football, baseball? You know what's weird? I played football

recreationally with my friends and we always had a good time but every time it came to playing football in class I would bomb hard and I'd be the biggest douchebag on the team and everyone would hate me. That's what anything. It's like you like something the second you have to do it seriously, you start to hate it. I try it as a game.

Exactly. That's what it is. But then inside of school, I saw it as like a fucking competition. When you start fucking up, everyone's like, come on! And you're like, this is a fucking game. I know, I was playing goalie in a hockey game once, and I kept missing. Like, people kept scoring on me, and this kid came up to me, and he

called me worthless and said that I was the most he just like really laid into me. And I said to this day, to this day, I haven't forgot that. He was really disappointed. Fucking 12-ish. How old was he? But then like after that I'd go out and play hockey

with my friends and we'd be okay. It was fun. Because we didn't give a shit. Yeah, no, yeah, exactly. It wasn't a fucking social experiment. School is a social experiment. That's all it is. Yeah, all it is. You're like forced to interact with people that you maybe would want to be your friend, but...

The people in school at your friends with are just people that you hate the least. Like, did you have like slight stuff in common with? Yeah. It's like, oh, I kind of... Everybody else, you have nothing in common with me. Well, occasionally you'll find a few kind of good ones. I disagree.

Occasionally you'll find some one. One of my very best friends, I have almost nothing in common with Jack. Jack? The only thing I haven't common with him is like movies, and he's like the coolest guy ever. But if you met Jack and you didn't go to school with him? I didn't go to school with him. How did you think that maybe Jack has a million best friends? I know how they meant.

Probably. A swimming club in there. Yeah, we were swimming. And they both, and Chris needed to swim in shorts. I said something about a candy bar and he thought it was funny. Then he was like, I like you. And he became friends. What if you met him today?

Completely didn't know him. No, he's still, everyone who meets Jack, who likes Jack. I love Jack. Actually, when I first met Jack, I was really tired, and Jack is so, like, energetic and loud that I was like, oh, God, come on, man.

And then, like, literally, like, the day later, I fucking love Jack. He's an energetic spastic. He's so fucking energetic. He's the co-creating of a random day. We could call out. Oh, yeah, fun fact. He also, um, he did some puppet shit for sleep

you can remember? Oh, did he? Was he in the cool show? Yeah, really? Mm-hmm. Cool. Yeah, I tried bandwagoning with that shit when I was a kid, but... I played pretty much every sport when I was a young sport.

I realized pretty quickly I'm not a fucking athlete. Oh, I played every sport. Name a sport. But not a fucking insanely obscure sport. What do you think of? Boxing? I did boxing. I did soccer.

I did an Irish sport, hurling, gaelic, rugby. I tried everything. I was like, maybe I'm a rugby player. And then I was like, no. Then I was like, soccer player. No. Boxer. No.

Like everything. Yeah. Just not. Do you ever do spring flipping? Yeah, yeah, not for me. Really? What the hell of spring flipping? It's when you take a spray and throw it.

Do you guys ever see cheese rolling? She's rolling? That's the funniest shit. And people are like, walk, come on. All you do is you go to the top of a big slippery hill on his right. You throw cheese, then you fucking run down the hill after the cheese.

You fucking roll down the hill. Yeah, you roll down the hill. It is the funniest shit. After the cheese and I ever. Look up the video. That is so fucking creepy about there. It's like, Who thought of that?

It's like, I laughed so hard when I saw it. No, it is, no, like, I laughed so, I saw it when I saw it, but, um,

you gotta watch that. Is it, like, roll, like, big barrels of cheese? You roll a big, fucking... Cheese wheel.

Yeah, Yeah, down the hill, and you roll down after it. You can't run after it as fast as you can. What happens when you grab all to it? You know, you know what the funniest part is,

I think the video on YouTube is called Dangerous Sports Cheese wheel like, like, do people die when they do that or something? No,

if you look at the video, There's people like landing on their necks and shit. Yeah, because you're running down fast down a hill and your father over. A little worthless fucking dead. If you want to die, you'd least want to go cool. It'd be so horrible to break your neck cheese wheeling or something. I always do wonder, like, what I have to explain that to people later. Like, that's how my grandfather died.

Yeah, yeah. How'd you go to die? He died in 1945. Oh, like, like, World War II? No, like cheese wheel. He fucking fell out and broke his neck when he was chasing. It must honestly seriously suck to dice to something like incredibly stupid. Yeah.

Because then, like, your whole family will just feel like so cheated. I was thinking about that. You know, like, um, like battles. battles in Japan. Yeah. How many people died by ninja stars? It's just, yeah, it's so... I'm not even talking like that.

That's cool, Kberta what I'm talking to? Not really. Like, what if, like... The blades on a star are like this big, and you died. It's killed you, but this is just fuck with you. No, like... They just do that. Imagine, imagine if you, like, you were walking down one stair and your leg

slipped and you broke your neck, it's like, oh, he fell up one... Dude, whatever. If I met... If I met a guy and he told me that his grandpa died and by Ninja Star, I'd be like, really? Like, the weakest weapon in video games? Really? That's how your grandpa died? Somebody threw a nixir-dhams?

If you hit somebody, I would say, well, I would did it or like the neck or something. But if they hit, like, his hand, like, his thumb came off. There has to be someone out there who died from, like, an infected asshole, like, swamp ass. There has to be. Like, someone who got a little cut in their asshole from, like, shooting too hard. You've obviously thought about this before. No, I'm like, they're, like, imagine if you died to something like that, you're, like, someone would have to explain to your mom. Like, your son died from an infected asshole.

And your mom would be... I've always worried that. They would just say that he had an infection that they didn't understand. I'm always worried that I would have an erection when I died. Yeah, a lot of people do have erections. I know, because other people have erects when they die. I wake up with the wreck kids every day. Why do you worry about your state after you're dead?

Because people would be like, oh, you're dead. You know, I want three medics like, God. You're dead. So they're going to go on Twitter and be like, yeah, we found Zach and he had a bone or thought. Not even because of who I am. What is your ghost going to be sad? Like, shit. I don't want you to walk into the dimension.

I'm never going to be able to live this down. There's no ghost. I'm just gonna be a dead guy with the erection. Dude, if I walked in on your dead body, the last thing I'd be worried about is your boner. Your eyes would be drawn.

You'd go, dude, if you walked in, I'd be dead hanging myself, you saw my erection, you'd be like, guys, Zach had a big dead boner in there. Big dead body. I'd be like, dude,

Zach's dead, plus he had a bonner. I fucking hit it and fell down. You're about the guy who fucked the swimming pool and his dick came out. What aspect of it? What part of it?

It was a jet stream. He fucked the swimming pool. There was a hole in the pool. There was a hole in the pool. You can, what do he, the swimming pool is a body of water? What do you mean he fucked this? Yeah, he fucked this. He's sticking dick in the swimming pool and he fucked it.

No, you're being silly. You went to the edge of the pool where there was a hole in the wall with water getting sucked in. How could his dick fit inside of it? That's like, that's like a baby hole. And he told the jet stream shoot out. They don't suck in. He told the paramedics that he was like, minding his own business in the pool. And the jet stream was like really strong for one moment and sucked him in by the dick.

And he was like, whoa! And his pants came down. Is that what he told the guy to me? I swear to God, that's what he told him. You know, there is like 7 billion people in the world. Maybe that did happen to one. Well, no. Maybe.

If you fucking think, it'd just be pushing water that you did call. Just be shoving water. That was actually the first time I came. It was when I was in a swimming pool. My dad brought me to a-oh-God. You came in the swimming pool? No, no. This is the first time I felt the sensation of, like, coming,

was when my dad brought me to a public swimming pool. This is why I hate public swimming pools, dude. No, I didn't come in the swimming pools. Listen to me. Alioms were there. What aliens were not there? What did happen was, I got into the face. What did happen was, I got into the pool of the fish.

pool and I was swimming around and I saw a lady who was resting her arms on the edge of the pool and she was just sitting there and I was like what the fuck when she left I went over to inspect the area there was a little jet of water coming from the wall and I was like whoa what was she doing and I was like did the same thing she was doing start blowing on my dick oh was like I was like literally probably eight and then my dad walked over in the pool he was like what are you doing it was just like I'm just swimming against the water and he's like we're not be doing it's like we're not be doing it but I was like we're not be doing it's like we're not be doing it what I think you're doing. What? He said that? Yeah, he walked away. And then right after he walked away, I looked up and there was a fucking camera looking at him. I mean, I was like, ah, shit. Did you take, like, without your day? Chris, it was just blowing against my little. Why would your dad say that?

How would he even assume that you were doing? How about you were fucking eight? No. He was probably smiling and looking around. I was fucking coming. I had to cum face up. And it's the first ever cum face, which is the most intense. Everyone knows that that's the most intense cum face. No, no, this is what happened, right?

That happened. I thought I was... How many eight-year-old's coming? Do you see, Lyle? Everyone knows? It's a common knowledge. This is what I thought I was like punched. It felt like I'd been punched in right above my dick. That's what it initially felt like, right? So I was like, that felt interesting.

Next time I watched swimming, I did the same thing. I did it like every single time, like, until eventually I was like, maybe I can just do this at home. So when I was in the bathtub, and I started like flapping my dick around between my fingers instead of like grabbing up my dick and jerk it off. Like you were twirling your pencil? I was like pushing water towards my dick as fast as it would go. And I somehow managed to come like a million times doing that.

And then eventually I was like, maybe it's better if I just jerk it off. And then I used to lie face down in the bathtub. Wait, so you like discovered it like a fucking ape discovered fire or whatever? I swear to God, right? Seriously? And our bathroom, you know my bathroom in Bali Kelly? Yeah. There's a fucking little window at the top of the door for some reason.

Yeah. But it's like you'd have to be eight foot to look in. But I was so paranoid that if my mom and dad stuck her head over the window and looked in, I saw me like playing with my dick, I would like get sent to counseling. Because when I was younger, I thought it was like the most evil. No, I was in my bathtub. Yeah. But when I was younger, we were Christian.

family I thought that was the most evil thing I was doing I honestly felt so guilty I actually felt guilty when I was doing so I used to like face down and hold my breath under the water and like flap my dick around you risked dying every time you masturbating I'm just like a kind of I know to breathe but that is a form of auto erotic excruciation well that's not what got me up I was just afraid my mom and dad would see me jerking off and that's what got you yeah that's he got you up your head through the window and watching you know I don't have you ever I actually that's another story I remember the day that I have I have My mom actually like said, Chris, I think it's time we talk about sex.

And I was like, what? And she was like, you know, it's normal to masturbate and stuff. I was like, oh, thank God. Thank you, Mom. You just went off and jacked off that day. My mom. Did you get the talk? Yeah, my mom left the book.

No, I didn't get the talk because my parents are too embarrassed about it. My mom, yeah, my parents gave me a book. Mike, but yeah, they left a book on my bed called Boy Talk. And it was just these kids, right? And they were hanging on trees. There was a girl magazine called Girl Talk. It was boys fucking boys. And that's where you want or how you want.

So it was just like, hey, Ben, do you want to go hang out later? And it's like, okay, Paul, I'll meet you after school. And then they're hanging out at a tree, and they're hanging on a tree. And it's like, do you ever masturbate? And then, like, he's like, yeah. And it's like, what do you like rubbing your dick? Do you rub your penis? And it's like, all boys talk like this.

It's like, dude, no, I don't like fucking talk my friends about like, you know, fondling my pee hole and stuff. But what's your pee hole and you jack off? Dude, I saw poor. Dude, this is a new way. Wait, this is a new way to jack off, okay? lick your hand and rub the bell end and that's it just just rub it just like I figure you that out when I was 12

everyone knows that shit wine glass I didn't lick my hand though I spit in it then why are we telling me that this was some sort of weird fucking phenomenon Jesus my parents didn't give me a masturbation book they gave me a book they masturbated me on yeah they jacked me off well the book was about all of that stuff no my parents gave me a book I forget what it was called but it was essentially

like this is what mommies and daddy's do. Oh. So they hug each other. Yeah, special hug. And men have penises and women have vaginas. And all the book did was make me horny and more confused. It didn't help. But it's also a similar story. One time when I was very, very fucking young, a guy came to my mom and dad's door with a ton of bucks. He was like, this is the whatever encyclopedia. If you buy these books, you will never need any other books in your life. My mom and dad got scammed and they paid like 200 pounds at the time. Oh, they did the, that's a common scam. Encyclopedia Britannico. Yeah, I think that... That's a common scam, like an encyclopedia sales. I was very young at the time, but mom and dad were like, Chris, these books, they will make you the smartest kid ever. Did the internet exist at the time?

It did not. But I found one book that had titties in it, and I literally stole it from the collection, and kept it under my mattress. Once when I was eight, I printed off naked pictures of Buffy that were fake, that were obviously fake, and I brought them into school, and I gave one to my friend. And you were God. Yeah, oh, yeah, I was the fucking king. Until I got caught and everyone pointed their finger and they're like it was him. But yeah

What you call it? I used to be the kind of dealer because I was the first one who kind of discovered the internet or whatever So I was like dealing out all these like fake porn pictures. I did the same thing but with Mortal Kombat fatalities Why really nobody understood what the internet was and I was like this is a place where you can get things and they're like like what and I was like How about this print out baby? Yeah, yeah. I like oh my god. I didn't even know you could do that I remember this was like the year 2001 or something like that and I just like literally and then I was doing the same thing with like fucking deep prior to DVDs I was a little fucking asshole back in the day I was the first one to discover like torrenting or whatever and I used to like sell like fucking fake torrent of DVDs in school yeah I

remember I was a god as well I was one of the first people that figured out how to download music illegally burn it to a CD and one of my first customers was my manager at Walmart and I overcharged him because he was an asshole I was like but he was still kind of cool I used to do that too except like my friend they start giving me like all everyone in the school started giving me lists of like 50 songs to put on one CD and I was like holy shit and I still took all the money and I was like oh god what do I give them like a CD you got paid and then I give them I did it for street credit and then I give them songs with like five songs on it I'd be like sorry I couldn't get the rest and they'd be like

but they still be happy well then they were still like yeah they get to listen to the fucking gangsters paradise or whatever the fuck they wanted yeah exactly yeah so yeah I don't know what the moral of that story was I don't know either yeah Irish story I guess stories. Anyways, when I was like eight, I didn't understand sex. I'm glad you did. I used to walk around and I remember when I was eight years old, I had a bathrobe and I used to get boners all the time and I used to just walk around with my bathroom and my little boner under the bathrobe and I'd open the bathrobe up and just point my boner in things and hope that things happened. I would surprise the world like a fire or something. Like you pointed out of fire or something?

Like you pointed at a candle and just blow up. It was like testing the waters like maybe if I pointed at that and then That was a key. You thought you were trying to figure it out what it did. Yeah, and I was so frustrated. I used to just rub my boner on things and that's what I do that too. I used to like... I was a little pervert before I knew what sex was. I was a pervert but I still didn't know what sex was. Yeah, me too.

Yeah, yeah, we were just about a little fucking... And then when I found out what sex was, oh my God. I never got me more of a pervert. Things got really really bad, really quick. Really quick. Yeah, I used to fantasize... Like, I had had a really weird ones. Like, I had fantasized about like having an x-ray glass that I could see through only girls' clothes

and going to school and be like, he-he-ha, no one knows. I'd take it a little boner in school. Yeah. I used to get boners all the time in school, dude. Yeah. Before I figured out about the waistband trick, I used to fucking pull my pockets up really high,

but it just looked like I had a bone in my, I was holding my pockets when it looked horrible. Or I used to put books in front of my dick. That worked all right. Wastband trick only works when you're wearing sweatpants, and then kids make fun of you because you're poor and can't afford jeans. You can do the sweat.

You can do the voiceband when you have you have jeans. Yeah, but you have to tuck it up under your jeans and your belt. Yeah, it's kind of painful. When it starts to dissent. Not if you have four skin, baby. What a five? That's bullshit. It still hurts when you mess.

No, it does not. No, it doesn't hurt when you mash it under a belt buckle and the belt. No metal is... Four skin dappens the world. You guys are actually talking bullshit now unless the head of your dick is rubbing the waistline. How short is your dick then? It's not extra skin, dude. It's not a layer of...

It's a padding of protection. It is a layer of extra skin. It's armor for the dick, dude. Dude, my belt buckle's not rubbing up against my dickhead. It's rubbing up against the middle of the shaft of my dick. Yeah, that wouldn't really help. It helps me. You don't have an extra literal layer over the actual skin.

You have extra skin at the top where the helmet it is. Not one of the shat, that where the balls touch. That means you've got a small dick because when your dick points up, it means it only goes as far as the belt, which means your dick is small. Did you scientifically discover I have a small dick? Yeah. No, I don't. We just crack the puzzle.

Good job, team. Good job, Scooby-Doo crew. I talk my boner. Behind my bell buckle, the head of my dick stops at my tithies. When I used to go... Sometimes it comes through my shirt, I have to like push it down. Can you titty wank yourself, Stamper? Huh? Can you titty wank yourself?

Yeah, I could blow myself. Whoa, without bending over. Well, sitting upright in a computer chair, I could blow it. Standing up. It's like playing the trombone when he's standing up. When I used to go to St. Peter's College at Wexford, our school uniforms, pants was like literally paper thin. It's like this gray, itchy, fucking paper.

All schools in Ireland have that for some reason. You see dudes running around with pee spots in their pants, They didn't shake their dicks off hard enough. Yeah, you do. Once I got... I like how quick you answer to this. Once you, uh, once I was at a urinal and a guy like, did I tell this before? No.

I was at a urinal in school and a guy pushed me while I was taking a piss. I got pissed all over my pants. And then he goes, ha ha! And then he goes, and then he goes, oh wait. And then he didn't tell anyone. I was like, oh God, I'm done. Wait, what? And he didn't tell anyone.

He was like, nice. He was like, oh shit, sorry. He goes, ha, ha, you peed your pants and just didn't... Like, I thought he was going to tell everyone I peed my people. In my school, we used to do this thing when they used to kick people while they were taking a piss. Yeah, yeah, at the urinal?

Yeah, one of my friends, said to me, so I got really mad and I took a bunch of paper towels and covered in soap and he was taking his shit. Like, he walked in, kicked my ass. Oh, we'd always do that.

And your dick touches the urinal, right? No, no, no, I'm peeing. When he walks, he kicks you in the ass, he slam against the wall in the stall. I'm sorry, like the urinal. And then he walked and took his shit. He sat in the stall and started feeling so I took a bunch of paper towels,

it's covered in soap. It started a fucking pelting over the top of the stall. It's what it's screaming. Do you ever get a wet, like, a bit of tissue or toilet paper? And just throw it on the ceiling and it just goes, we do that in school all the time. That's what babies do. But I was going to say, you know, the paper-thin pants?

Yes. They are really bad. You know, Jenner doesn't have to clean that off. Yeah, you're like... Oh, yeah, but this is when I was a kid, I didn't even think about that. Those paper-thin pants were the worst at hiding boners. Like, really bad. Because what's the worst-poens of your bone?

They are bad, they are bad. You can see your big balls. Also, do you guys, like, hate urin, I really hate urinals. I love urinol. I wish there was one in the fucking... I'm not afraid of showing my dick to people at urinals, but, like, I just don't like... I think they're grosser than toilets.

Nah, urinals are convenient for me. I think they're way more convenient. More often than not, I piss in the sink. I never get stage fright. They look disgusting, though. I'm actually not joking. More often than not, I piss in the sink. I wish I had a urinal.

In the house we live in? What? Yeah. Do you wash your face in that sink? Yes. Welcome to Pea Town, Nile. Oh, man. Splash, Splash, Flah.

That's why you say smells like piss. Don't do that. My pee. Urinals are completely convenient. I don't like the- it's like it's like it dropped to the floor though. You're pissing at the wall. Who's the who's that fucking guy who goes around spitting chewing gum in every single urinal in the country? Huh?

That one fucking dude. Oh yeah, Chewy mcum. Yeah, he goes around spitting chewing them in the urinals. It's a fucking... Is there really a guy that's doing that? It's a catastrophe. Do you not see it? No.

You want a urinal. There's always a bit of gun. He's always, he's always on CNN like with their Sasquatch photos when he's leaving the... Yeah, when he's leaving the stall. You know, they conduct a... conducted tests saying that if a guy has something to aim at, he'll always shoot his pee at that thing.

Cigarette butts, chewing gum. Stamper, how much, what's the least amount you would want to chew some gum that's been in a urinal for a day? What's the least amount of money you would want? To choose some gum that's been in a urine. Oh, dude, I do that free. Really? Yeah. And Stamper, I was next to Stamper one time. He said, free gum

and he picked it up and stood chewing it. I gag. I said pee gums. Chris, you know what you were talking about your dad walking up to you earlier in the pool and saying hey stop that. That was my dad, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is it like, if you ever, how often does that happen to you were? As you're coming, somebody like is like, hey, they talk to you. Have you ever been? It's such a fucking good world breaking experience. I've been very, very lucky to, that's never happened to me. Oh God, I got so lucky. My very first and lovely time I was, when I was about 14, I was masturbating in the second I was coming. Oh yeah, I was like, Zach and I was like, oh no, it was so uncomfortable. Oh, God. I was like, because I was in that state of like, yeah, but he just called your name. He didn't walk in. Yeah, but I don't want his fucking name him. I don't want his voice somebody to while I'm coming. I don't even need somebody to do that.

Every now and again, I'm in the wrong mindset and I'm jerking off. And right as I'm coming, something comes into my head that I don't want to see. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's been, sorry, there's been a few times where I've been jerking off. And my mom will, like, open the door to be like, dinner's ready. And she'll be looking at me and I'll have my big heart dick in my head. I'll be like, okay. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I close the door. Oh, man. If your dad would walk with this big heart dick in his head and be like, Chris, my mom said, my mom walked him with her big heart dick and her. dick, yeah. Oh, she comes in and she says, dinner's ready, and then she comes up her. Stop fucking around. She's a huge cock.

My cat walks by with his huge dick and it's in. Like, once my parents left the house, and I was like, oh, man, I'm going to have a big fucking butt-naked wank today. You know, when you just get me. Oh, you get totally naked? It's an event. And then, uh, so I turned on the porno. I fucking lay down in bed like this. I lay down on my bed.

Who says, so, no. It's not 1980, though. I write that a part out today, honey. No, no, there's porn. What's the alternative? Porn, porn is... Porn. Why don't you up the old...

Why, why? Why even add the... I'll tell you why. Okay. You know who says the old guys with mustache... Porn is the collection. Porno is a porno. One porn.

One porno. It's like cactus and cacti. I'm sorry. Nile said porno as in he's... He's got a very specific porno in mind. And who the fuck you, Zach? Oh, fuck you. I meant you called pizza Zah and... Pepperone and...

You say, hey guys, we'll go up some... Go up some girls? I said, what's a good. You say handbook you call strawberry, strobs, and blueberries blobs. You told me that. Exactly. Stamper, are you a bloop? And I thought it was hilarious that you called blueberries blobs. Are you a bloop guy?

What? Are you a bloop guy? I'm a blot guy. What? But anyway, blood naked wank. Oh, yeah. So, like, I laid down and got ready for a big pair. A blood naked wank, for those of you who don't know, is where you eat a hot pocket first

to get your energy up, and then all the grease that's on your fingers, you don't even give a shit. You just rub it on your body because you're going to go into your room. You're just a mess. mess at this stage. You don't care how... You're like, I'm the biggest perv in the world right now. Yeah. Like, I love being a fucking dirty perv. And every porno you look up... Yeah, they're just more perverted than the house. Yeah, find another one.

Like, it has to be something... Actually, that's something that happened to me. Every porno I watch now has to be... Or porn, has to be slightly weird in a way. Like, it has to be something weird going on in it. Like, I don't know. We're so spoiled nowadays. I know. I remember when pornos first, I was like, wow, there's porno on the internet. I used to jerk off to ads. Because it took so long to download stuff,

there would just be a girl in a... ad with a kiddie's out. I was fine. I would jerk off to the advertisement. The banner, literally the banner ad. I would jerk off to it. I saw one porn video a couple days ago that I actually was just disgusted by.

At first I was like interested by it. It was this girl sucking a dick. And I was like, yeah, I can dig this. But then she took her nipple and put it in his dickhole. And I got so opposed to that. That is completely true. I'll show you the fucking video. Is that even possible?

Yes, big dick hole, small nipple. I don't know. They figured it out. She's, she's cheap. She started bringing her teddy up to the dick, and I was like, yeah, then she went, ah, I clicked it in. And I recoiled back and closed it out. That's not something you randomly stumble on.

It was called blowjob video. I said, wow. Yeah, bullshit. You're looking at you. I'll show you the video. Whatever, Mr. Goldfish pitcher? Oh, I hit. You're into the blobs, right?

I never stumble on shit like that when I'm looking for porn. You were looking for something really sadistic. I've been watching porn for, like, the last 10 years, completely innocently. What did you search for? baby boy. To find Get it's off You got nipples

Go inside dickles That's bullshit Bullshit I call it bullshit However my story Instead she stuck the whole Titty of the dick on Go now

Lying in bed Bought naked wank Okay Okay Alright I go like I just go on for fucking an hour

I'm like yeah And then I Just calm everywhere And then What you call it Literally just as I Turned it off Like I

Keep in mind I was lying in my bed Facing the door Then I just got Dressed Really fast And the second I had my pants like zipped up my dad just opened my door really fast I was like holy what they say to you

no I spell cub yeah oh god that was oh my god I just remember I thought I never got caught jerking off before I got caught in the aftermath jerking off once I was watching scrambled porno on TV you know how you have scrambled porno channels and you get that gross like green thing I don't even know if that's a thing anymore green thing what like we have like like because you didn't pay for the channel it's like scrambled porno on TV so if you pit you could hear sound kind of oh shit but I was jerking off the scrambled porno you guys don't even know what I'm talking about no but I'm intrigued damn it but I fell asleep on the lazy boy in my living room and my dick was hanging out of my zipper

and my dad came home while I was sleeping and he came up and he put his hand on my shoulder and he was like son you fell asleep on the couch I was like what are you doing here dad and I took my dick back into my pants there is no hiding that he just wanted me to get up and to sleep. That was embarrassing. Have you ever um, have you ever had one of those wanks that like literally lasts like three hours? Yeah, just, oh, and you're so, you're, like, so horny and you're like dick is like, literally like just pissing lube and you're just like, oh, this is the best and then the second you come you're like, that was the biggest waste of my life. Yeah. I was stupid,

you know, you just feel like an idiot. I'm not a Christian Bella. Finish come and I feel like an idiot. Yeah. Only, always watching the most depraved shit and then when I'm done doing it, I'm looking at what the girls actually doing, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And her intestines are hanging out, and I'm like, ah. And as I'm coming, I'm like blocking the vision of the screen with my hand. Yes, no, sometimes, like, I've been a little bit more into the facials.

Here's an update for you folks. I've been listening, I'm a little bit more into the facials now. I fucking told you. You fucking gave me shit for that. I did. I'm 2% more to it. But every time... Yeah, he loves that.

No, no, no, I said I hated it before. I'm 2% more to. Oh, I won't turn off. You can't be just 2%. No, he's bullshit. You're 25 at least. He told me like a year ago that he loves blowjobs. I do love blow jobs.

I don't like facials, though. I love facials. Well, my point is before, before I would close the video out, if I should facial. But now, anyway, but I still- How people jerk off the blowjob videos. I'll never understand that. You fucking, you lick on asshole, stamper. It needs to.

You look at big, brown, puppy assholes. You don't get to ask that question. It needs to have. That's where your wiener goes. It needs to have an asshole before I come, I think. Like, I can't really come. No, whenever I see a girl's hassle, like, go put some pants on. You guys are literally like, it has to be the dirtiest, dirtiest whole.

Shit must come from it for me to come. What? Nobody said that. That's what an asshole is. No. It's the most forbidden part of a girl's body. Because shit comes there. And when she grants you access to that, I derive a lot of pleasure. Yeah, but that's...

That's how I feel. That's why I feel with facials, because it's like, if a girl lets you facial on her, and she'll pretty much do anything. Every girl will let you facial on her. No, they will not. But they will win. My problem is the facial still look at the pleasant. I'm still crudgy, like, wincy, like, oh, yeah, you know.

That's not the same thing as permission. Stay tuned, feminists. There will be more talk. I know if this is borderline misogyny. This is the patriarchy at work. Is it misogynistic to talk about sex in general? Yeah, it's misogynistic to wear men's clothes. No, listen, Zach had the most, like, point that blew my mind the other day.

He's like, feminists are so far left that they're gone right again. Like, feminists, like, they were... I don't even know left-and-right means. Somebody posted, I got this couple of them, somebody posted something called the horseshoe theory, which is the far left and the far right are actually closer than the moderate. It's so true because, like, some feminists will be like, don't degrade girls by letting us bend over and do us doggy stall,

because doggy stalls is for animals. But then, like, when I don't get it is, like, the whole 70s, like, the whole 70s thing was like, fuck you, don't tell us what to wear. They're naked with their titties out. But now it's the exact opposite. Now it's like, you can't show a fictional character with boobs. They have to have small breast in a chubby body.

That's like what the 50s patriarch you were saying. Yeah, that's what like 50s actual massages asses were saying. Don't show your ankles, slut, you devil, don't show your ankles, bitch. I'll tell you one thing. Every weird, depraved thing I've ever done to another female was done because she asked me to do it. Or you ask you always really bashful. I don't want to do things. I'm just kind of afraid to ask for like really, really, like, well, it's not really, I never really do really bad shit, but I'm afraid to kind of ask for like.

I'm afraid to kind of ask for like. I don't even want to ask for like. I don't even want to ask about things. Yeah, I don't ask. I don't ask. Women pulled me into the void of despair a long time. I just do. I don't ask.

Here's what I do. Don't fire to me again. Can I come on you? Thanks. Oh, man. You vent over right on Chris's face. Squirt. Squirt.

Squirt. Squirt. Ah, thank you. Here, let me pull up this porno I saw the other day. Wait, one second. Kid, look. My pussy is all away. I'm here to fix your sink.

Oh, fix my pussy with your dick. Okay. Got me spread my legs for you. What appears to be the problem, ma'am? My pussy does it, has a severe lack of dick. Can you fix that, sir? Yeah. Okay, I'm fucking you now.

Uh-huh. Don't want to help, rape. Rape! No, that was stupid. No, I don't know why. That was the point of being pulling it up. I thought it was pretty odd. That's just disrespectful to the audience.

audience though, you know something? Oh, says the guy, he says he wants to shower a girl's face with his semen. Okay. And? Yeah. How's that not disrespectful? You said you want to make a Gandalf beard with your semen on a girl. I didn't say I wanted to.

I said I did. Oh, well, then your dreams accomplished. That's why I call my balls, Bilbo Baggins. Why? Because it's a hobbit size? You son of a bitch. Just like a little bag. Two little Bilbo.

Paggins. Baggins. They live in Baghand Gulls my dick Yeah You're a joke Nothing Bill ball baggans

Have you ever fuck Stamper Who's two question Have you ever fucked Have you ever fucked this swamp ass? No What do you think it would be like Do you think it would hurt

Or do you think it would be warmer Do you be glad Playing a banjo on the little boat side You don't come around here often Never seen you here before So we can pull up in my house with some gumbo I didn't even get the swamp joke until just now It was just funny just thinking of a little guys

Swamping around the swamp He's playing the fucking banjo Watch out for gators There was why funnier There's the actual swamp There's a sinkhole here Watch a What you forgeters

I bet you can fuck your own ass I bet you've got one of those gross fucking Bandy dick? I do have a bendy dick. Well, did you fuck your ass? Bumering dick? No. You have a boomer You have a coat hanger, wreck. What it's like is it a slight like a banana curb or it's like a degree angle? Mine slightly curves upwards. Okay, but what I mean is it has? Is it like a banana weiner? Okay, okay. Mine kind of swings the left a little bit. Mine swings the left too. Yeah, but not that much. Like mine is resting my right here. 10%. Mine points where the pussy's at, baby. Like fucking mecca.

Beep, there's a pussy right behind you though. This is a close. It didn't it going. Oh, they get ridden roll into itself. Yeah. You're like bent back behind your legs and poaks it underneath your ass. And you're like, oh god! Get out of here! It points to the closest girl. What's it pointing at me?

It points to the closest butt, sorry. You ever seen those pornoes where there's a girl standing on a landmine? She can't move. The guy just walks over and comes on her and walks away. The landmine, the trigger clicked, but she can't lift her leg up or she'll explode. So the guy comes up and comes on her. Is that a real point? And he walks, but comes to her leg, he just leaves.

And she can't move. She just stands there and she's mad. Like, don't come on me! That guy likes the fucking danger, because... Never mind, her life is in danger, but she's just mad. Yeah, but that guy's life is also in danger. Dude, it's so awesome. She could kill both of them.

Dude, it is... It's so hot, dude. It is so fucking hot. And the bonus is... That is a form of rape. If they do blow their legs off, you get a puttee port. It's a double. It's a win. I know.

He blows her legs off. He blows his leg. He blows his dick. He blows his dick off. I once saw this midget porn where they were all bouncing on the bed having a pillow fight and it was so fucking funny. And then they all started like getting doodles and fucking each other. Yeah. I don't know why it was so funny. But like they're all like having such a great time.

It was just a bunch of midgets. Isn't a bitch you a slur? Or sorry, little people. And they're all just jumping on the bed like laughing and having the most like best time ever. And then they all just started fucking on. I was like, I wonder what I was doing at that exact moment. when this was happening. Like, was I, I don't know,

at work or it's walking around? Walking around. Like, could that be going on right now? Of course. There's horrible things going on right the second. Somebody's getting their head sawed off in the basement. Right now. Stamper, have you ever heard of the site Chatterbate?

Yeah? I love Chatterbate. I know, you told me about it. Yeah. You look at that cosplay Carrie on that. Yeah, but that's only because it's funny. There's a girl on Chatterbatecair called Cosplay Carrie where she dresses up as Harley Quinn

and fucks her boyfriend just as the Joker, and she gets so into character. She's like, Oh, Mr. Jay, put your dick in my pussy! She's actually hilarious. And then she's like the funniest woman in the world. And the guy dresses up as the Ronald McDonald's sometimes and fucks her. Well, she's like, well, she's dressed

as someone from Resident Eagle and they're just having such a good time. They like, they're seriously just, they're just having a funny time. They're like, they're not taking it. Dude, she's going to be in Disney World and I'm a Disney World. No, I'm not going to fuck her, obviously. But I don't definitely get, like, her autograph or a picture with her or something. Oh, Mr. Jay, spit in my cunt.

He's like, okay. And he's like, Trussesonson McDonald. Sweet, dude. With them, Niles sent me that, and we were boatwatched that, we were like, yay. Oh, so fucking funny. Then we got a dick-up. I saw, like, really bothered me. Only kids was incorrect, I was like, that would never...

Do you guys ever seen that E.T. porn? Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. If someone dressed up, a girl as E.T. Like, a big... She has the texture of, like, feasts. She looks like big shit.

Yeah, big... The guy's just, like, fucking her. It's the grossest thing. Oh, I saw another one where a girl was blown E.T. You ever seen? You ever seen a girl. the American Dad one where Roger looks so creepy. He's like those disgusting

those ping pong ball eyes. He's horrible looking. You ever see the fucking Simpsons porn where Homer's impression is pretty spot on? It's pretty good. It's the same cast in all of those porn parodies. Really? Yeah, James Dean, that fucking chick or all those chicks. They're all the same. The Scrubs porno is actually funnier than the fucking

thing. I tweeted that like a couple weeks ago but I was watching it and it's actually funnier than the show. Yeah, none of those are really badly written for the most part which is surprising. You'd expect them with you a horrible. You kind of get a chuckle out of them. It's one of the only ways porn history can make money these days now. Is porn parodies? Yeah, selling parodies because it's so easily accessible.

I saw it back to the future porn once and Marty was like an Indian dude. Oh yeah! I forgot about that. He's like, Marty, you can't come back to me. You gotta fuck your mother. He's like, weird. He's like, I don't want to. I don't want to have the past.

I want to just stay in my... I did not want to. I want to work at Saburn a Lambert. I will save this pack of gum. This ain't right. racist at all, right? But it is... No, it's extremely true

that every single time I go to a 7-Eleven, it's an Indian guy. What's with that? And Duncan Donus as well. I don't understand it either, yeah. That's not racist, it's true. Literally you there, walk into a 7-Even right now. It's an Indian guy.

Any convenience store that isn't a chain, really. Oh. Except for 7-Eleven. I just figured, like, one dude came over from India, and he looked up a 7-Eleven, and then he started getting all his friends over, and they never broke the chain. Probably.

Probably. Probably. I have a story. Well, it's not a great one, but... Okay, you know the gas station beside our house? The one that's kind of convenient to go get, like, a drink or cigarette or something. Like, you can just go in and get stuff? Yeah. The one's near our house.

You know the guy who works there? Yeah. He's a cranky cun. He's a dickhead. He's a crazy. He's a dickhead. He always has his face on. And I was like... There's two guys in work there.

Is it a chubby Indian guy? No, no. He always looks like his son died dead. He loves a... Oh, he looks like an Easter Island. Yeah, he's a fucking... He's a fucking... Once he was like, once he was like to me, he was like, he was just standing, cleaning the floors,

and there was no other cashier, and I was standing at the thing, and he was just looking at me. But anyway, I was like, it's my goal to make this guy laugh. Like, before I move out, I just want to make this guy laugh, because, like, it's a challenge. And I couldn't do it. Every time I went in, I'd always try to make him laugh. And he would never... Why don't you just buy things from him and leave? Like, normal people, are you trying to...

Because he's such a fucking... It's not a fucking Robin Leavis movie, dude. You're not going to, like, engage this guy and be... You're going to break through to him. But listen. It was just a challenge. That's all it was. Give me, give me an example.

Give me an example. All be the indie guy. You told me, you told me, welcome. No, no, he wouldn't even say that. He doesn't say a word, dude. Okay, let's let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's why it was even more of a challenge. Let's support, okay, okay, I think that you walk in. Would you walk up to him like, can I have some cigarettes?

No, yeah, I do, I do an Arnold impression or something, try to make him laugh. Yeah, that's funny. What did you actually, would be actually done so for? I'm curious. No, because I'm not, I didn't finish my story yet. All right, so, okay. Okay, I went in, I tried to just make small talk and stuff, and I was like, damn, I'm getting nowhere here. And then one day, me and Shad walked down there, right?

And Shad was looking like the fucking Unibomber. He was wearing sunglasses, a scarf covering his mouth and stuff. And Shad, we both walk in, and Shad goes, I'm not armed, I swear! And then the guy just goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I was like, dude, that's the fucking last thing I think of to try to make this guy laugh. And Shad did it in one goddamn cold. All it took was fucking horribly offensive racism. Yeah.

That's beautiful. Well, that's human right there. Yeah, but I was still happy that the guy laughed, but... Shad walked in that place for time, and he looked at the guy, he's like, does this place get robbed off in? And the guy was like, excuse me? Yeah, then he... Didn't Shad reach in his fucking big leather jacket and pulled out his car really fast?

I was like, Shad, you're a fool. Jesus Christ. That is mysterious, man. That's scary. What if the guy fucking blew his head off? I know, because he was... Shad was like, that's exactly the event of, like, events in order. What happened?

Oh, but the time me and Shad went there. There was this old man sitting on a chair, this old white guy, right? And this is just when Stamper said white people complain all the time It was kind of in my head, right? So we walked to that shop and this Indian guy, Shad made the Indian guy laugh. I was like, okay. And then this fat white old guy was sitting on a chair and he was going, It takes a long time to clean this place.

And there was this tiny little four by four fucking shop and he was like, yeah, we have to replace the refrigerators. And Shad was kind of like looking at him really weird. He was like, yeah, it's cold outside now. And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, white people do complain all the time. That story was going nowhere. I just wanted to kind of clarify your room. They do.

Every white people bitch about everything all day for no reason And every other Every other person on the face of planet Keeps her mouth shut and dies silently Regardless of how pissed off they are Yeah, so You ever get into an Irish taxi? Yeah, that's the small talk capital of the world

Like how was the, oh, it's raining outside Yeah, like wow, that's so awful You and I took a taxi down to that shop Yeah What exactly? You and I took a taxi down to that little, like down It was to some place without it was But yeah, he would not stop

He was like, it's raining today, you're like, yeah. He's like, oh, you're from around here? You're like, yeah. He's like, oh, what do you do? You're like, oh, like, Disney. You're like, yeah. It's with all like that. It was like, dude, nobody wants to...

I used to always fabricate stories of those. In America, you get into a taxi, everyone shuts up, but in Ireland, you cannot... You have to talk to the driver, or else you're weird. Or else you're weird. Yeah, yeah, well, he's bored. But they always kind of do seem like they're interested, but in a weird way. It's like... No, but it's always like, oh, it's right in again.

It's like, yeah, that's great. Just the 50 millionth time I've heard that Yeah, yeah, yeah And then they're like, so, so what do you do? And you're just like, yeah, whatever, I do this But like, I used to kind of fabricate stories to them Because I was just bored of saying the same shit all the time And I remember, I can't remember what I said

I remember saying I was a doctor at one stage And then getting caught out by the same guy By saying something else I didn't realize it was the same guy He was bringing me home and he remembered me So you were a liar and then you got busted for line Yeah, pretty much You know that whole weather spiel

Yeah, so you know, I've heard that so many times I almost feel like it's an insult to this stage Yeah, yeah How's the weather? Have you seen the weather? If someone says that to me. It's like, it's almost like, yeah, I'm not interested. I just need to get your talk out of the way before I leave. Yeah, yeah.

Bring up the weather is the death sentence for a, a conversation. Unless there's a fucking tornado. If you're in the same area with somebody, it doesn't make any sense. It's like, did you look up today? Did you stare at your fucking hands all time? They're not asking house water. They're saying, oh. No, but bringing up the weather period.

It's like, yeah, we'll get the weather today. Yeah, I walk outside. That's the last thing I care about. I honestly couldn't give it. It's really cold outside. But it's not just that. Yeah, it's fucking snow. It's why everyone's willing coats.

Yeah, that's what they do. They do variations like, oh, it's cold or like... It's November. Yeah, yeah, no shit. This happens every year. You're 50. You should have seen this at least 50 times by now. You remember that guy used to deliver us pizzas.

It was fucking clockwork. Oh, God. This guy, right? This guy, he has no excuse because he was in his early 20s, right? He was our age. He was our age, and he come to the door and he called, and he just, like, lovely weather, isn't it? It was the same sentence.

The same sentence. Lovely weather is it? Yeah, no, the weather, or the weather's shit. And we ordered your pizza mad we ordered a shit ton of pieces You eat his pizza man ordered a fucking pizza every week and it was always like I was always lovely weather isn't this it's like fuck you I hate that and then there's this really idiot old guy I would always fuck up but he was so nice thing to bond with you No he's not that's my point they're not trying to bond you're trying to get out of there and they're trying to say something just to make them seem nice

But it just makes him seem fucking rude almost yeah, what else are they gonna say? Here's your pizza enjoy it by Bye enjoy easy Oh snap bro was a pizza man. He probably asked people what the about the weather. Oh, no. Oh, Stamper. The poor baby. I'm sorry, Stamper. I never asked anybody about the weather. Oh, good.

But I'm awkward when I try to meet regular customers and stuff. I never know what to say. That's what I mean. To Stamper, I have another tip story, right? You know the way... What was the first story? The A-Rab story with the white guy. You said... Oh, yeah, there was no ending to that story. That was... You said white guys complained a lot.

Yeah, oh, yeah, but... And then you said, that's a small thing, and then you... On the previous podcast, Stamper was talking about white people... No, I know that. Oh, is that the end of the story? There was one time I was... to that gas station and I left my keys there and I left town for like three weeks and then I went back and he was like here's your keys my friend so I love that guy you know you know that you know the way

you were saying tipping people like I always tip people really well now right there's this one guy who came here once and I tipped him like way over tipped him I tipped him like 10 bucks or something for a pizza and he was so grateful and the other day at the house this wasn't even at the office I ordered a pizza and I tipped him nicely too uh online yeah and he forgot my drink actually my drink wasn't billed or whatever. And then he goes, you always tip me really well. I'm going to go back and give you a free drink. And I was like, you're surprised what tipping well does. There was that one time we were all at the house and we

tip the guy like 10 bucks. And then I called him back because it wasn't enough pizza. And then he brought the order back over to the house. And he was like, oh, it's on the house. Yeah, this guy gave me, yeah, he gave me like an on the house thing too. I was like, dude, like tipping people well, always pays up. Sure. Even when I'm poor as fuck, which I am. You simply tip a bitch at eye hop. Oh yeah. Well, that I hop is a different story. That I hop is a different story. Let me tell you about IHop.

Fuck IHop. The end. Explain why. If you want bad service. Sapper left his coat at IHop like a jackass, and they stole it. They stole his money on the inside, the end. I was fucking robbed at IHop. Fuck that.

And then didn't you complain? They were like, sorry, we can't find your money. They have fucking cameras everywhere at IHop. Can I just say one thing about that, IHop? They segregate blacks from white. This is true. There's an IHop in Abington, Pennsylvania, where every time we go there. Where I was fucking robbed.

The same, the very same, the very same eye from. hop that Stapble was robbed at, they have a left aisle, a middle aisle, or right aisle. This happened at least ten times when we've gone there. The left aisle has been completely filled with blacks. Black people. Black people. Black people. What? Blacks. Blacks. Blacks.

And the middle was filled with whites. White people. Now, there have been a couple of times with the left. White. White. Bling. But there have been a couple of times where the left aisle has not been. Yes, there have been a couple of times where the left aisle has not been filled at all with blacks Where it's like half full or a third full or like one tenth full

But it's still like one black person in the left aisle One white person in the middle aisle. It's baffling it's happened so many times I don't get it like it's so obvious it's so obvious it's just weird it's not even offensive It's just like what it's bizarre and they afraid we're gonna catch on white diseases we're gonna plague them I'll be damned if I eat breakfast next to a nigg this has been sleepy cast you've been listening to Stamper Nile, Zach, and crafts. If you'd like to send this stuff, send it to our PO box listed in the description.

You can also donate to our Patreon at www.com. Patreon.com forward slash sleepy cabin. Yeah. Well, that's enough gay shit for me. Tune in next week. Stamper licks on a sticky, asshole. Holy fuck.