SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 16 - [Batten Down the Hatches]

Episode Date: February 21, 2015

Ricepirate moved to Philly recently, and we thought we'd celebrate by busting his...podcast cherry, in mega hot all-male gangbang fashion! Anticipated guest-episodes...LATER! http://sleepycabin.com/audio/sleepycast-16/ This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/ricepiratenewgrounds) JohnnyUtah (http://johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

I saw a bitch today. We think fat tinnies. And I said gross. That's like the default? We just, the default to that? If you start at the bottom of the bed, there's the next to come up. That's the motto for sleepy cats.

All right, hold on, hold on. No one to go put up. There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint

little cabin, and in that cabin, he's a bunch of guys he's a bunch bullshit. Welcome to Sleepy Cass. Super special episode. I know people were probably waiting for another episode because Rice Pirate

is in Philadelphia. He didn't really the Rice Pirate is. He had his own cable access show about five years ago. He fucked a bunch of kids on it. He got to find him. But now he's off the streets. That's right. Grab your kids. He's free. This is my grand comeback. I figured the internet was the place to come back to after

a fall like that from grace. Absolutely. You know, everyone falls, Mick. Sometimes you fall a dick person neutral, but you know, sometimes you get up afterwards. It happens. Stop, shut off. Asshole. All right, so to welcome the Sleepy cast with not so special guest, Mick, since he's going to be

around all the time. I'm Stamper TV, and I'm here with Psychic Papples and Johnny Utah. Hi there. So, you guys, you know, this is my first podcast here, I've listened. Almost like a crazy person. He does the intro, by the one. Oh, yes. Give us some taste of that.

There's an island in the ocean where there's fucking fucking dog. It's so just like you. Shut up. Hey, were you annoyed when you gave us all those outtakes and you gave us like for the end and I picked the one where you messed up?

Yeah, no, no. What was he? actual intro supposed to sound like you. What's the actual dialogue? It's supposed to be. I just know that I took a lot of takes where I put a lot of care in there. And my assumption is always that you guys are going to make me not sound like an asshole. But the truth is, is I was proud that you did make me sound like that because it lowers the bar for the whole podcast because you all sound like assholes. That's right. If we started off as good as I made it, it would just made the whole thing worse. Because he actually did our intro.

Like a real good job. And he did an old man take, another take, and another take. Oh, that's right. And he actually did our entire intro really well that ended, like, the whole intro. But then we used the one where he was like, is butch guys, his bunch and bunch... I think I like forgot what the fuck I was reading. And it was perfect. Yeah, there you go.

This is, I don't think we never mentioned this on the podcast, but it's a fun fact. Stamper, you want to tell everyone what the intro is kind of based off of because the, I always have this, it's a fact. Tales from the dark side? Tales from the dark side and twilights, though. No, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, we wanted the Tales from the Twilight Zone. Tales from the Dark Side intro is still one of the scariest TV intros I think I've ever made.

It is pretty fucking creepy. I think I actually got watching an episode because you... The show is hit and miss, hit or miss, but overall it's a pretty good show. I'm turning down the light on the fucking monitor because you guys stare at it like it's a fucking fire in your mom. I'm monitoring the clipping asshole because I understand what you're fucking looking at. But clearly, even when I'm... yelling at you and calling you a fucking asshole, it's still not clipping, so we're

good. Well, you have to be like, fucking asshole! Oh, over that. You barely, both of you just barely touch the tip, which is what she said. Oh! You'll fit in good here, mate. Are you done making everybody

XD? That's right. We're done XD. Let's get to the laws and the kecks. So today on Sleepy cast, we're going to discuss the one thing it's true to our heart. Jeff, what is it? Milkchakes. Milkshakes. Jeff, which for a good of milkshake? I like strawberry.

Shit, man. Chocolate. I'm... I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I like. Have you... Wait, have you had a milkshake? Yes, asshole.

Okay. Well, what was a flavor that you... I don't live in Zimbabwe. What are you talking about? Dude, well, then if you had it, what was a flavor that you said, like, oh, I like... I've had vanilla. Why did you say Zimbabwe? I'm sure they do not have milkshakes.

I'm sure they do not have milkshakes in Zimbabwe. That's the last of the fucking problems, though. Like the black of milk chicks. I was trying to think of a hot, poor country. Sucking water droplets out of mud puddles. Did you just want me to say Africa? Do you want me to just say the Congo? You don't brown.

That covers it all. Naked black guy in machete land. I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, not white. I mean yellow. No, what is your favorite milkshake? I like vanilla milkshakes, okay? Okay, that's okay.

I was embarrassed because, like, you know, it's such a bland flavor. Because it's such a like Paul Rudd milkshake. No. No. vanilla bean milkshakes with a little flex of vanilla in it. There you go. Okay, that's fair. Actually, what about you, Zach?

My policy, I believe a policy on chocolate, like ice cream and stuff. Because whenever I see chocolate ice cream, like, it looks so tasty, it tastes so fuck good. But you get it, it's too overwhelmed. You feel sick you have too much chocolate ice cream. It simply goes with chocolate milkshakes, you know what I mean? If you have too much chocolate. That's what I mean, but it looks so good. It's desirable.

The chick-fil-a milkshakes are... You know what, fuck Chick-fil-A. I'm sick of people talking about Chick-fil-A. I hate Chick-fil-A. I can't stand it. I will say that of all the milk shakes. With their dry chicken sandwiches with a little piece of pickle on it.

I would normally go with strawberry, but I did remember back in the day McDonald's made their St. Patty's Day mint shake. The shamrock shake. The shamrock shake. And that easily, I remember it was my favorite fucking milkshake.

I always looked forward to it. Never got it. I was forgot about it. You missed like a one day. Oh, I can't wait to get that shamrock shake. And then you stop in. They're like, yeah, that was last week. No one's got good milkshakes is Sonic

And they got a list of fucking... Yes, dude, they have really good fucking ice cream in general. Can we talk about how much I hate Sonic? What? I remember... No, no, no, no, it's not the food. It's just... The abyss food?

The idea of it? The idea. Do you eat in your car or you sit in that... Who the hell wants to eat? How do... Who the hell wants to eat in their car? Yeah, you get fucking dude... You get french fries and you're eating shit.

I never actually ate there, but they put this... They put the tray on the side of your window, right? Or how do they do it? How do they give you your food? Some faggand roller skates up to your window and trips and gets food off. How do they get you... Do they pass it into your car? Yeah, so you push the button.

All right. Or you do drive-through. Here's every sonic that you poke the sonic. You have to open your fucking car you know because you park too far away. You press the button. You take 10 minutes to respond. You order your food. So if you skate's up and give you your food. That's still awkward.

Yeah, no, it still doesn't matter. I actually, I never thought about it because I never been there. But the idea that you're eating a meal by yourself in a fucking car, park somewhere. No. Just kind of has like a really sad, like, Well, you can see, they have, like, picnic tables outside, so you can eat it outside, but it's like weather permitting, so it's going to as fuck. Yeah.

Because it's really just as a little box that they all cook in all day, so you can't go inside. Right. You can't piss there if you need to or anything. I think what's worse than you mentioned eating alone in your car. I think what's worse is eating with people in your car. I hate this stuff. They're like, oh, fuck. Oh, and then you get to, like, eight bags of food and you're like, who got the chicken sandwich?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a chicken sandwich. And who got fries and who got tater tots. The burgers are messy, too. I love the burgers, but they are fucking messy. It's like eating a taco or the bottle bricks. You have to bring that shit home and put it on a plate. Whenever I eat it, Sonic, I always have to turn my radio on because there's no people in the car.

I hate the sound of raw, like, contrapped, confined eating. Well, you know, fucking assholes always leave trash in my car. I got to sleep out. I have a car. I know it's like for people to leave fucking wet these bags in the back to your car. I know. You leave them in your car all the time. I don't.

I don't. You guys do that to me. Every time my back seat, the floor is covered in water bottles and gum bags there. Because you're the fucking... You're the fucking taxi service for some of these fucking assholes. That's true. I don't retouch them this car ever. Because I hate what happens to me.

That's a fact. You know, I honestly don't know what's worse. I honestly don't know what's worse is that either have someone puke in your fucking backseat or puke all over the side of your car. Like when they roll down the window, they never actually puke off of your car. They somehow manage to get all the puke all along the side of your car.

You're driving along. And it, like, crusts on the side of your car. I hang out with some interesting folk back in the day. You guys are pretty good about that kind of stuff. I mean, Zach, you know, you at least have the decency to go to the bathroom. You puke on the floor. Yeah, or the floor and then lying it for a while. I was trying not to bring up that story because I respect you so much.

Did I tell that story? I did tell that story in the podcast. Yeah. Oh, you did? The one knows what a freak I am. Dude, I was there in the bathroom with you, feeding you water, cradling you in my own. arms breastfeeding you fucking bottled water

to make sure you survive we're talking about the time I got very drunken magvice I think I told it two episodes ago on episode 40 I think yeah where you were skyping me on the toilet yes but yes it was nice enough to bring me bottles of water God bless him

you didn't have to do that I remember the night before though that's where like I kind of wanted to kick your ass was that I had got we had gotten that bottle of Jack Daniels And then you started drinking... Woodford Reserve. Oh, was it Woodford? No, no, no, right.

So we had the Woodford, which cost a lot of fucking money, by the way. And then you poured it into a fucking glass. You had a full fucking glass of Woodford. You were already drunk, and it was like three in the morning already. And then all of a sudden, I remember turning you saying, dude, there's no way you're drinking that. There's no way. And you're like, no, it's okay. I'll get a mixer.

I'll get a mixer. So you called room service, and it was like $5 for a fucking Coca-Cola, and you ordered two of them. and I remember before the fucking Colacola Colas showed up, that glass was empty. Can I say? Can I say? I think drunk me felt challenged by you. You can't drink a girl that. I was like, I'll fucking show that guy. I was, you challenged me.

And you showed him. I showed you. Yeah, you sure showed us. I showed you. Oh, yeah, you did. You know, you didn't show? Up to the panel. Oh! Oh, shit. But to step back, I will leave trash in somebody's car. Your car is already trashed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Philly where you see trash on the ground already in your legs. Should I find a trash can or should I just throw this shit in the street? See that's what starts the one guy that throws one wrapper to bed is the second guy goes out fuck that. There's no trash cans in Philly. San Diego is a beautiful, clean, amazing place. For example, San Diego. And then, but there's a trash can on every corner. So there's no excuse to litter.

Yeah, we finished. We're finishing a gallon of fucking ranger bottle is so big. He's drinking this vodka out of the bottle straight out of the bottle like a fucking cartoon character. I'm sorry. It doesn't have. Like a civilized tube of being. civilized human being. It's like you'll see a trash can, right? And they'll be trash

piled all over it. Nobody actually is throwing trash in it. They're just fucking throwing trash on top of the pile. Yeah, no. And it's just like it's all fucking gathering all around it. Like yeah, nobody fucking cares. The view of trash can is a suggestion rather than... It's like, yeah, that general direction's fine.

I feel like I'm being a good citizen by throwing my trash in the general direction of a fucking trash can. Make you a savage animal. Shut up. You're just farting on people all that. Two. You make sure they hear it too. I make sure they hear it and see it.

Stamper knows this already. I give people like a three or five second prep where I will actually get into a position when you absolutely know it's about to happen. There's no debate. So it's not like it's a surprise. I was making breakfast. He got into horse dance and farted.

For those of you who are familiar with Japanese karate, you got in a horse dance and blasted ass. Near the bacon. So some of the particles could have ended up on the bacon. Would you be traumatized, Jeff? If some guy had some fucking scary buffed to it, like some skin had broken your house

and had a big fucking gun of the knife and he was like walked into your bedroom. You woke up. He's like, yo, piss ass, wake up. Piss ass. Then he did a horse stay at far around you and left and started gagging me. Would that traumatize you? Zach, what the fuck?

Why? I'm curious. I want to get your psychology. I want to see it happen. You're curious of all the things you're doing to ask. You're curious about that. Speaking of you wouldn't believe, I'm going to tell you a story.

something that I did recently. This is the most fucking... I shouldn't even be telling this. Yes, you should. No, for a decade. Let's see how surprised they have by this. I'm gonna get crucified for this one. Hashtag Stamper does something.

All right, uh... All right, so, long story short, not to bore anybody, but I was drunk, much like I am now. I was working well after I should have gone to bed. It's like an hour. And I was pretty fucking toasted. I thought it'd be a good idea. Also because I'm lazy, but I thought it'd be a good idea to not go to the bathroom,

but stand up and piss into a water bottle that was sitting by my desk. Also, did have a little opening at the top. I just pressed my dick hole up against the opening and then sprayed pee into the bottle, filled it up. And it was also kind of a scientific experiment. Yeah, I'm going to say, you left that part out. You initially told me that the initial impetus for it was to test how big is the human bladder. Yeah.

Okay. I can't do a cook-combe. This is a big, this is a big fucking deer park bottle. All right. Here we go. When you fill a deer park bottle with your piss, you're just like, how this was sitting in my body somehow. Like you're too little, right? Yeah, your bladder's only so big, so it's kind of fascinating.

Anyways. So I went back to work for like an hour, and I was so fucking wasted. I was like, oh, dude. Yeah, no, you know exactly. You know exactly where this is going. Oh, dude. Yeah, you do. And I was like, man, if I don't get some water in my system, I'm going to wake up with

the worst fucking hangover. And I drank... A clear bottle. It was clear, but it was a clear bottle, yeah. With yellow-ish fluid. No, but that's the thing. It wasn't... It wasn't... It wasn't like... It must have had a little tinge to it. A little tint, right? But I drank half a bottle of my own piss, and I didn't even fucking realize it. You got like eight bathrooms in your house. Yeah. Well, yeah.

This is the dedication. This is the dedication. Piss of your old piss? I drank a half bottle of my own piss, and I didn't even realize it. I went to bed and I walked up... Wait, you didn't just... Wait, wait, wait. So you didn't immediately know. No, he didn't.

I put... And then, you know what the thing is? I drank, you know, as much as I could. And then it went back for more. To get through half a bottle. I thought it was fucking water. And I didn't even fucking realize. And how it's absolutely...

You're drinking uric acid and you didn't even realize it's... Are my taste buds? Is that gone? No, or is that... Yeah, and the other thing he forgot to mention was that he said to me, I went down to the office, and he was kind of like hesitant to tell me this story.

I drank a bottle of my own piss, man. I remember seeing, no, I saw it on his desk and I looked at it and I was like he may have seen the confusion in my eyes. How far gone are you? You fill up a whole bottle of piss and you forget you even did that

and you're just like, oh, just what? Yeah, I was gone. I put my hand over and pulled around. To be fair, there's like... And I was so happy that there was just water convenient. I can't trust any of you guys. There were three bottles of water.

dude, drink my face. There were three bottles of water on his death. Enjoy your drink, Jeff. And in the back of my mind, I knew that it was like, I was like, okay, there's like three, four bottles of water here. I put a cigarette butt out in one, so I can't drink that one. Oh, so you already kind of clodges anyway. And I was like, so happy that

there was a bottle of water here, and I didn't have to go to the fucking kitchen, and then I drank my own paper. He was like, look at this bottle, there's not an ash or fucking cigarette, but it is. And you would think your gut instinct is to wake up and just puke everywhere when you realize what you can. Everybody in your house is a fucking alcoholic. Except for Or is she?

Or actually, maybe you all are. Yeah, maybe you are too. Drinking my own piss doesn't make me an alcoholic. That kind of does make you a fucking alcoholic. Come on, let's be honest. You were so drunk, you beat into a bottle and then drink half a minute. You're all so fucking good. I'm so fucking sorry.

I never said I haven't, well, I haven't drank my own pee. Look, I drink my own piss. You touch kids to each their own. Stamper, you know, you know when you eat cake and you wake up the next, like, before you go to bed, you wake up the next morning, you had that, like, fucking taste in your mouth? Was that in your mouth? Cake? He did say he had a little... No, no, no, like, you ever eat food and then, like, take a nap and you wake up and you have to like taste? Stamper did mention it.

My dad? I did that. You had the fucking piss with me out. You're like, take piss. But I didn't know what it was. I just thought it was because I didn't brush my teeth before I went to bed. You didn't. Turns out. It was pissed. It was piss. Who does? That's right. I'm just curious. Like, how sick can that make you drinking a body? of your own piss. He cleared half the bottle was over six

Oh, there's only half. Let's be honest. You can drink your own piss. Now, would you judge me more if it was somebody else's piss? That's the question. A little bit. No, I am curious.

Maybe 20% more. Well, say, there you go. Because they always say that piss is sterile, right? They say pee is sterile. Well, no, I mean, piss is just the stuff your body doesn't want. Yeah, so when they say it's sterile.

It's like idiot. It's shit. Yeah, but shit ain't sterile. You piss and shit. The same thing is like getting re-win. When you drink and eat, your body's sucks it up. I'm not disagreeing with you

that they're both disgusting. That's waste. Yes, it's waste. But I've never, I understand it's waste, but I've never heard the phrase that shit is sterile. I have heard the phrase that piss is sterile. You can take a bite of a nugget, be safe. You might get a little bit nauseous.

Yeah, but if you're in the desert... You might fuck open your tooth from a piece of corn. If you're in the desert and you're dying, you could drink your piss to survive a little. You can't eat your shit. You should get that machine that Yes, I do want to bet. At the beginning of Waterworld where he pisses...

That's right. But he takes a dump. All he has to do is piss in a bottle and drink it. In Waterworld, if Kevin Costner took a dump into like some big plastic container and came out as like a fucking vegan burger, it would just be like all the good bits. Here's my question from that burger. So at the beginning of Waterworld, you see Kevin Costner piss into this machine. That's a first scene. Yeah.

Yeah. And then it like cycles it and then he could drink it, right? He's in the fucking ocean. Why didn't he put ocean water in there to... Just boil it? Why do you have to piss To get his water? The process of Removing salt from water

Is a really difficult One. But removing the fucking piss from Piss. I think purifying urine is easier Than purifying salt water. All I remember from Waterworld Was that he made like 80 million dollars from

that movie and the movie made zero dollars. I didn't hate the movie. I didn't hate the movie like people. Yeah, I didn't hate the movie. I didn't hate it at all. I thought it was kind of fun. I mean, yes, yes, the guys riding around on the jet skis with their fucking smoky goggles on, look like it with their assholes. It was mad max on water as far as I was concerned. It was like, that's kind of what it was.

It was like this dystopian future. It was creepy. Like all the dead, they dump all the dead bodies into this vat where they just like decompose into like... Fuel, right? Like applesau, basically. Oh, is applesau? They eat decomposed people apple sauce. Did you see that movie Snowpiercer?

Yeah. So that was kind of like that, right? They were throwing on the rats in the machine. Spoilers! I didn't see it. Oh, who fucking... You know what? Everyone was talking about how good it was. I thought it was all right. I thought it was all right.

I thought it was trash compared to everybody saying it was the best next thing. See, that's the thing. Since fucking... Like with Waterworld, white bread. Like with Waterworld, like, it's not a bad movie, but compared to the budget and everything. Like, that's what people compare it to. What do you think of the... know it's like... If Waterworld just came on TV

one night, you'd watch it and be like, oh, I'll fuck them because the movie itself, the movie itself is the exact same. The contents are no different, you'd watch it differently. It's the same movie. So I always think it's kind of unfair to judge it. Everyone does, and I do it. It's kind of unfair to judge it based on the reputation that has rather than

the contents. Yeah. Like, imagine if you made a film and everybody was like, everyone said it was gonna fucking sucks. It's like, it's not their fault that they made the movie they wanted to make. That just happened to me last night. Mick was like, hey, have you ever seen this movie, the Gray with Liam Neeson. Oh yeah, the whole movie. Yeah, and then I was

like, no, I never watched it because somebody told me it sucked. And then I watched it last night, I was like, you know what, that's not bad. So I was like, you have to make a problem of your mind. But if you were telling me it's the best movie of all time. You watch it, like, fuck that movie. Well, yeah, so bottom line, you should never listen to fucking anybody, and you should make a your own fucking mind. Walk in it so

every movie sucks. Look at it like the trailer for the Grey and be like, do I feel like watching this movie? I will say the most interesting thing about watching the Grey was Stamper pointing out the fact that he thought Liam Neeson's name came from half of the word William. It does come from

half the name William. All right, hold on. And halfway through the movie, you were like, I think people should call me Liam Stamper. A minute later, you're like, fuck that. That's dumb. Don't call me Liam. His name is William Mason. So he cropped her. That's what I thought.

I thought it was just like, oh, that's an Irish name. Instead of going with Will, he went with Liam. He just took the last half Somebody in the comments is going to have to fucking clarify that. You don't have to clarify that. None of us did the research. Did you do the research on that?

Yes. Okay, never mind then. I'm just spilling shit out of my ass? Yeah, you do that. Yeah, that back in your belt. It's like, you're piss. Just spills right out of your butt. Now I'm curious, because what?

Watch, they're going to be like, no, that was a dream that you had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, hold on. What was this Leonie's a movie? It's called, like, non-stop or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all right.

It seemed like it was a... He's like one of those actors. He's like a Bruce Willis. Like, the movie doesn't have to be amazing, but he's just so good. He was playing the scene by he plays in every movie. Lee Lee Mason's wife, she died. You know how she died? No.

She did like four years ago. She died the most fucking boring, stupid way to die. She was skiing and she fucking, like, tapped her head and she was like, I have a headache, and she died. She had a concussion. Yeah. That fucking killed her. Could you imagine? That's the most late way to die.

But that's not the most boring way. Would you stop insulting Leon Nason on our podcast? Yeah. When you said boring. way she like read a bad book and was just like, I don't like this book and then died. I don't know. I don't know. There's a way cool way to die. There are. Like a cancer or something cool?

I don't know how cool cancer is. Yeah, you look really cool on a hospital bed with tubes hanging out of your fucking through. I always feel weird when I buy cigarettes for other people. You know what? Stamper mentioned that. I don't really care that much, but every time I'm like, I get a, because Jeff doesn't smoke. They get a pack of it. Marlboro lights in a lot.

like kind of look at the force at Leo. Exactly the conversation we had before you showed up. The Marlboro lights? The Marl... And they're like, they don't have lights. They're called golds and you're like... Just say...

Give me something that's green. That's all you have to say. All right. Give me something green. What if they give a fucking reed? What's the difference between menthol's... Like, what is it taste like a menthol cigarette over a regular cigarette?

It's minty, my friend. Just minty. It's minty. Yeah, it would be like... It's like... It's like... breathing in the cold air from the top of a mountain

versus... It says it's totally chemical fiberglass, but it feels... You know what faggit? You're smoking the same fucking garbage. I don't know what? I grew up in a cloud of cigarette smokes. I can breathe like... That's right. Tolerance. I grew up in Asia and everybody fucking smoked, so I feel like...

The air is fucking polluted too. It's disgusting. If you go to China in the, in like, the tourist book, they tell you at the back, if you develop a cough, Like, you've got issues with your lungs. It's not that you're sick. You're just breathing the air. That's literally in the tourist books. Oh, good, China.

Bitch. If you have paid of the back of your eyes and you're both dizzy. What is what Chinese... I keep reading about how Chinese people going on vacations, they... They're, like, shitting in the streets, and they're just acting like animals. Okay. You think, I don't know if you were trying to be funny or not, but when I went... No, when I went to Beijing, absolutely, I saw a mother.

holding her child over the sidewalk. So she's on the sidewalk. And it... Yeah, it's William Neeson. Yeah, see? Jesus Christ. Okay, good job.

You proved me wrong. Anyways, in China... So yeah, get back to the shit. No, we were at a bus stop. And I remember seeing a lady hold her child over the sidewalk. He's naked, butt ass. She's just holding him

and his poop coming out of his butt just right over the fucking sidewalk. But this is just what I read today. Thailand... Thailand was mandated, like, this is a mandatory, giving all Chinese people coming into the country pamphlets on how to not group in the streets. Like a fucking animal?

No, it's because in some parts of China, they still fucking poop in the streets and they hold their kids over a fucking gutter or the fucking sidewalk. You also have that weird social fucking etiquette that Americans don't have where if somebody's like dying in the street or pissing in the street or shitting in the street, you just walk by. Yeah. doing versus us where we're like,

why you shit in the street, man? You don't shit in the street. They just turn a blind eye to everything. They're not turning a blind eye. They're all going, oh yeah, I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to hold me over the fucking sidewalk when I had taken dump.

Jet scenario. You're walking on the street. It's a foggy evening. Yeah. You see a crippled guy wrote to you. He's like, please give me one daughter. Please give me what a dog.

Did that cripple guy? Hey. Please give him one dough Do you have my don't know? Do you give him the doro? Do we ever release the story I was talking about the crippled guy in college? Lieutenant Dan?

Wait, Lieutenant Shit? Yeah, no, we're still, but we're gonna release that one. All right, I'll just leave that then. Jeff. Yeah. You need a beautiful woman. She's got the big tits. She's got the big vagina.

All the good packages. You take her back to your place. Yeah. You show her collection of Dragon Bowsey action figures. She knows what's up She knows what's coming You get that hole at bed You know what I'm saying

You get those tinnies out She shows her fucking Fucking flapjack tinnies You're like alright But then she's like Jeff Let me eat your butt hole Yeah She says that to Jeff

What do you do? I don't want to always face In my butt hole She's like Jeff She pulls up her hair It's me of your dad You pass a test I raised a good boy

That's real life Jeff What's gonna happen My dad would hit me If I had made a joke about that. So your dad would do that and then I just lose a faggot? That would be the best

Thanksgiving story when you all fucking all your fucking relatives have to see each other for years. But you're like, hey dad, remember that time you showed up in the wig and y'all were to fucking get. My dad has no stories like that. My dad plans this. Outrunning police. He plans all this.

He's a badass. Your dad plans this for years. Like 10 years and 20 years with your baby. And then he eats your butt hole out and then beat your ass because you're a fagg- You're a little. Because you raise you wrong. I didn't raise no faggots. I don't understand the whole eating butt thing. I don't either. It's strictly a doo-doo. Okay, hold on. Let me ask. Have you ever, have you ever?

I mean, at the height, you know, like sometimes when you're getting really horny and all of a sudden you're thinking outside of your normal box. No. No, we're talking to support. I have a straight-less spot. My capacity, parts of my brain, I don't need therapy when I get super horny. I'd be like, oh, I'd love to lick. She'll look shit off her dick. I don't think... Okay.

He's in the Chris O'Neill zone. I'm not in the Chris O'Neill zone. This is a very human thing. When you get to the craziest peak of your... Come on. What's yours? Horny psychosis. I just want to know.

No? This is a question. You can't deflect it before I fucking ask it. What is... If you... He's cradling that bottle of vodka like a... Shut up. He's the...

Fuck you. Okay. If you had to eat someone... one's ass. No. The answer's no. I don't want the butthole. You have to eat it. That's the there is no have to. I do it because I want to. Okay. So Stambers are in the want to category. You're in the no, whatever, but it doesn't matter the no. There is no no. If you can fathom what someone's asshole tastes like, what would you add to that? You can add any condiment. You can add any fruit or vegetable. Chocolate. And I'll tell you why, because they wouldn't know

the difference. I'd feel better psychologically. Is this shit of chocolate? I don't know it's, you know what I mean? Chocolate ice cream Chocolate ice cream? Chocolate milkshakes Okay Sonic has the best milkshakes Oh man Speaking of which Listen

I put chocolate in there So I'd be like Maybe you could taste Maybe you get a cordon or a pee or something Every once in a while And a doo-doo But it would be chocolate Covers would be all right

I think it's a piece of hard chocolate or something Fucking sexual deviance again Jeff what about you Every fucking episode Jeff what would you put in someone's ass If you had to eat it If you had to eat it You'd put Drano

Anything to cover up the smell and taste of fecal matter. You know, yeah. What about white white draino rather than chocolate? Why do you assume

that a girl's ass has shit and stinks? Because guess what the ass does? Guess what a shower does? I don't care what you people think. It's like there's going to be residual residue

no matter what. Sex is dirty and disgusting and yeah. For a reason. That's what makes it so good. I'm sorry. I'm OCD.

Hold on. Okay. That's why like when Mick farts, I want, want to stab him in his eyeball. That's fine. So listen, what if you had a bag of wet wipes? Let's say you meet a girl and she's like, you know what?

The hottest thing, I'm going to blow you until your fucking brain explodes. But before you do that, you got to fucking lick my ass I'm going to give you a bag of wet wipes. Get out. Get out of you. Really? Get out of you. You wouldn't even give that ass a chance? No. I'd say, listen, lady, put your butt hole in my mouth

and stay. Yeah, he's like I don't know toilet paper. My name Stamper. Fuck you! I don't think I go crazy like you and Chris. Like I don't, my whole brain,

my wiring doesn't change. Yeah, you guys wiring changes. I'm like, well, a lady God created. I'd love to have missionary sex with her

and a condom. Zad. You need to get with the right females because they appreciate that and they want that, my friend. Yeah,

what if a girl begged you to lick her butthole? What if a girl begged you to do that? No. You would say no. I'd say, get your butthole

out of here. You're trying to play this righteous card like the guys that do that are evil people. And you don't even think that, maybe females enjoy that. It's not even a superiority. I just don't like the butthole. Here's a, here's a biology lesson. Here's a biology lesson.

I am sick of your biology lessons. Hold on. Does the butthole A, uh, shoot doo-doo or B, daisies, pick one. That's what I thought. Okay. I want to eat with Jeff. What are you saying? Hold on.

Jeff, what do you say? I think human beings are designed poorly. Yeah. I don't know why you have to put your genitals right next to like this, the, the, the, the garbage talking about God and smart design. And they were like, why would you ever fucking come out of the same hole that you fucking piss out of? I remember that. I actually thought that if this was like the human beings were designed from God, he did everything fairly well.

But then when it came to like our pussies and dicks, they just like threw something on. It's like, okay, so the USB plug goes into the slot. Human beings are terrible. We're secreting shit all over the place all the time. Oil, earwax, not saliva. We also need to fucking eat every day. We have to eat, drink all day, every day. We'll fucking die.

Yeah, I think we're guys making people. We like, you know, he take a glove and he pushed the finger inside the glove. I think you said that. Like those... I'm sorry, you privileged, white, cis, asshole, faggot, male. Do you not have enough food around here? What'd you have for dinner, Zach? Enlightened me.

It was pretty good as a turkey club. There's actually half of it over there. Your sandwich consisted of tomato and lettuce and mayonnaise, bread, and turkey. You could have been eating some dudes. ass all day long. Some dude's ass in Africa for nutrition. I really want to go up to ask the eating ass thing. All right, we're off the eating ass thing next.

I was just starting to... Yeah, and? This is my first podcast. I'm trying to... I'm trying to warm... lube myself into this fucking tight-ass club. You're embarrassed. You know what?

Am I? Am I really? We've been embarrassing ourselves. It's your first appearance. You're wasted. Listen, I've listened to 18 hours of you guys. talking. I don't think there's any embarrassment. Why is that bottle of vodka like eight liters? How big is that? Because it was... And remember you have to drive, asshole. I got it. Oh, that's right.

And you have to edit this podcast. I'm going to do it right after we're done. I hope so. All right. All right. I'll leave it over. Here, I'll leave it with you. And if there's any girls I want their buttholes eating out, you know where to find me. Peel box. Ville your butthole here. We'll look it forward you to the back. Send your butthole here and we'll look the album page your butt hole it's all good and just put it in the mail cow well what's up you feel stuicking one day yeah what what you go to the doctor right yeah

they're like Jeff you have bad news they show you an x-ray your scenarios are getting tired Zach they are right there's a baby inside of you Jeff you can burn that of an any gas or do you have afforded Jeff He said that arms Junior He said, Jeff, it's going to have a lot of problems In life because it's a man baby

What are you gonna do? It's not gonna do so well It's gonna be bound to a bed It's the entire life Wait, you just do you just have to Have to, have to, have to, like, shit it out of my ass? If you get rid of it out of your ass Where you can board it through your dickhole

They put one needle through a dickhole They can't do a C-section There's the only two options Jeff, they already gave it an aid for you They say, Jeffie Jr. Do you let it live? Would you just shut the fuck up? Just shut the fuck up!

Next topic. Jeff, a dragon comes down and... Hey, Jeff! I drink my own pissed, fuck you, you stapper. And then she asks you a fucker and then a egg comes out. If you had to eat shit out of your dick, would... Or piss out of your butt, look you. All right, all right, I do ask you what?

I have a genuine question. So, racial stereotypes exist. Yeah. Now, they exist for a reason. It's Chinese stereotypes. Go. Big teeth. A small.

race. Fucking small dicks. The yellow hat. There's little symbol hats. Little bowl haircuts. Yeah. Little ball haircuts. Eating rice.

And then you view the world and widescreen because your eyes are stinting. They're running around and rickshaws all day. Rickshaws? So I always had this concern that if I was in line, right? If I was in line to go get like a fucking pizza or movie ticket and there was somebody of a different race, whether they were Indian or Chinese or whatever, even though I'm Chinese, no one thinks I am or they were black or whatever.

and they cut in front of me and I was like What the fuck asshole? And then like all these people would turn around and be like What the fuck you call that guy? I just had this fear that I can't even fucking say that to somebody

because I'm gonna get fucking pinned as being a racist even though the truth is that had nothing to do with race It just had to do with something being an asshole You need to look more Chinese because if you were super Chinese you can just get away with saying whatever you want

That's right You can't be quote unquote racist If you're white You've read Tumblr or Or you'd be more conscientious. Yeah, what would I be conscientious of? Your fucking privilege. You fucking privilege.

Yeah, your Chinese white privilege. You called Obama a gorilla. I didn't you did! We look the same. Nobody's going to be able to tell the difference. We're both handsome, well-hung, bald, your Chinese. I am curious about how people pin down, like, your race. I don't know.

What is your race? When you look at Jeff, what is he? What do you say? like he's Italian, Greek. Like, what the fuck? Welcome to America. I don't say, Jeff, Jeff, you're driven. German Irish? Is that it?

When I see Jeff, I see an American mutt, just like me and just like Zach. And just like everybody's like... I mean, yeah, Zach looks like a fucking Jewish Nazi, but most of us look like... Jewish Nazi? Yeah. That's a oxymor. Zach liked to talk about the gift I gave him. Yes, Jeff.

Jeff gave me a gift and he did it once. I have a picture of my computer somewhere of Jeff Holyo fucking Hitler. knife very cruelly in his dark apartment over his keyboard. It's the funniest picture ever. Here's a brief story. My grandfather was in World War II, and he had a Hitler youth knife that he got from the war,

and he used it to open letters. He used it as a letter opener. Which I believe has... It looks like rust, but it could be dry blood. I don't know. Who knows? Yeah, there's some kind of dried substance on the blade of the night. He gave me a number of things from the war. He gave me like a samurai sword and like those cuckoo knives or whatever.

and like a wooden chest and all this other shit but he gave me this fucking dagger how did he give it to you I want to know it was like happy birthday here's a fucking actually actually I recalling knife from the Japanese dude I murdered he passed away my his

my aunt gave it to me because we're like while he opened letters of this and we don't they're like they're uncomfortable having this fucking Nazi dagger so they just give it to the kids there you go happy birthday take this shit yeah yeah we feel guilty having it on us so yeah they know I'm a terrible person that's right we'll give it to you

And then I actually, because it was sitting on my desk in my place, and I was getting uncomfortable with it. I'm just like, I don't need people coming in at my place. I didn't see this little knife with a fucking swastika on the handle. So I'm like, well, Zach hates the Jews. That's right. That's right. I'm kind of stabbing tools. Yeah, that's right.

Stop. Stop. I wouldn't have taken it unless I already had some other history and stuff. Zach, I knew. You could stab Jews with anything. You don't need a Nazi. A fork with time when I got to I got to Alback anymore.

He had it coming. His little hat on. His hateful stabbing weapon. You call this a sirloin? I took his eyes out, man. So, wait, who did you give it to? Zach. Oh, so Zach now has...

I would have taken it unless I already had other history stuff. Because I would have felt burdened with it. You know what I mean? So you're saying that if anybody actually researched you and came and checked out your shit, they'd find, like, East German hats and, like, blood-covered... Dude, if you died, they would look through your shit and see all this Nazi... Nazi goals.

Physical Nazi stuff. And videos of you jerking off into your webcam. Hold on. You would be the biggest fucking psycho. Also, we need to touch on that one. Have you touched on that in a podcast yet? Have you had that argument yet? About fucking filming yourself jerking off?

Yeah, we don't talk about that. But can I say, can I clarify? I have way more soapy... Yeah, it's fucked up. I have web more. We need to talk about that again. We're on the same. We're on the same page for that.

Let me save myself here. I have way more Soviet-U'd stuff that I do Nazi stuff. I love how that was like somehow trying to diffuse the weirdness of it. I'm clicking Nazi stuff. I only have the Nazi dagger that Jeff gave me. I only ever bought one Nazi thing. That was Nazi gold. I have way more.

I have John Kennedy pin, Richard Nixon pin. He's so proud of his Nazi gold. I'm not. I'm not for you. You're proud of Nazi gold. A little pile of Nazi golfing. That is, you know what? You haven't been at the office for a while. You know what's at the office?

I saw a pile. It looks like a bowl of fucking rotting molding salsa next to a bowl of fucking cereal or something you didn't have. Maybe you clean that up. But then there was also a pile of fucking blood-covered gold on your seat. And then there was gizz all over it too. I don't know. Like what porn you watched.

And there was a dead Jew. the sound booth. Yeah. He had it coming too. You were stupid around. Dude, you scream. You don't make people scream. You get sounds. That's his secret for the screams that everyone loves. The Zach Cato... Oh, it's never Zach.

That's right. It's not for me. Just you stabbing fucking Jews. Scream, boss, scream. Now, can we touch on the topics that matter? Yeah. Jerking off to a video of yourself, shrieky off of your dog. Yeah, all right. So, okay, just to clarify, you've covered this in a podcast before. Have you? I thought I was so

born away by it, I think we should just go over it again. But you covered this in a podcast? Yes. Which podcast? I love, but you weren't doing it. Okay, but people can go back to this. I don't know why I wasn't in it in a podcast. Yeah, I don't remember that episode. I remember you and I talking about it on numerous

occasions. I mean, you talk about it all the time. Regardless, we should get your perspective because I need, I need... I think it was. No, no, you know what's the hospital one. I was surrounded by you, Chris. and Nile. Okay. All by myself. Okay, so regardless, you say that when you were

younger, when you were younger, you filmed yourself jerking off on a webcam. And Chris did and Nile. I think they all did. Okay, so video camera is even worse, all right? It takes more effort to transfer the video somebody turned on by their little peepubescent dants. You don't record it.

And then you masturbate to yourself. No, hold it, hold on. Masturbating. You don't record with the attention. What's the master be doing? You record some mastery. You get... What was the intention to record? Yeah, what was everyone the intention?

You're like, oh my god, that's me? Oh, fuck. I'm gonna fucking come. When you watch it, you think that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, but you did it. You're sure with my dad, dude. Oh, no. No, but that's right. Stamper.

What would be the initial impetus to even fucking do it? Stamper. You would have to record it with David's intentions to begin with... You tell me you've never... Stamper, you've never seen yourself with me with a bone or you got turned to all you want. N? Oh. Did you? Did you?

You know what I get turned on? My girl's teeth? What is this? Like a forever looping thing? Where you're like, you're getting turned on, and then it's a feedback. It's a feedback. It's a feedback loop. I don't even understand what you're talking about.

Jeff, I know you do. You sit in the mirror and you're like, black the dickbacker. I've never done this. I've never stood in the mirror like this. So if in the initial video, you're jerking off and you come too fast, do you get mad at yourself later? Yeah. You came faster in the video? Oh, you can't last long.

You're a pussy? I cannot last you. So it's like a little. So it's like a little marathon. It's a competition. You're wrong? And nobody does that. Everybody leave the comments.

If you're 12 years old, please recall yourself masturbate to it and send that it to us and put stampers name on. No, do not. Ever. That's a change. I'm going to keep on the same subject. No. Just to go back to the podcast we recorded last week that hasn't aired yet, I'd like these two, their perspective on what is gay and what isn't gay. Okay.

Zach. They're a little stupid. You're going to feel stupid. Stupid William Stanley. No? No! Wait, so wait, oh, stop.

So you guys recorded this one? Yes. You haven't released it yet? No. Okay, so this is like the trailer. This is like the teaser. Don't give too much away.

Yes. Okay, no. There was a premise. I don't want to rehash the bait though because... You don't have to rehash shit. Shut up. Zach is going to lose this argument and you'll see what.

Every argument so forth so we cast. Let's keep going. I think Zach and I were on the same page. Yep, we were. Wait, which... Wait, stop. Which page? the premise was

was sucking your own dick gay. No, it's not gay to suck your own. I don't think it's gay either. Why? Because if you're willing to touch your own dick... Everyone says that, but here's my argument. Hear me out. If you're watching porn, you can phase the handout.

You're looking at fucking tits or whatever. Look at sex. How can you phase out a dick, a fucking hard dick in your mouth? If you can maintain a direction with a dick in your mouth, you're gay. I don't think so. And by the way, and how can you want? poor with a dick in your belt.

You have to fucking super dead. With your dick, sweaty, bloody, bloody balls in your face. You're gay. You know what? You're gay. You're- You're talking out of inexperience,

because the truth is- Also, you suck you're a dick. No, have you? I used to be able to when I was younger. Have you? Jack, gay isn't a switch that you could turn off and on. Look, if I'm spending private time in my fucking room, I'm not fucking gay.

There's a blow myself jerking on. This was my point. You could be gay, straight or bisexual. You could be a lot of different things, but an act is gay or straight. An act is, not the person, right? I don't think so. Here we out. Here we out.

Something gay is white sex doing something for the same sex. That is a gay act. You can be bisexual or do a gay act. You can maybe even be straight to do a gay act. I'm not saying you're gay if you suck your dick, but it's a gay act. No. You know what? You're splitting it.

You're splitting it into homosexual and heterosexual. I think there's something called solo sexual. No. I don't know, listen Whatever you touch your privacy of your own room Is disgusting and nasty And everyone fucking does it I'm not saying if you're gay

You bet I'm saying The act atop is gay It is literally bogged up and it's gay I'm a man And when I touch my wiener to jerk off that That would be gay That would technically be gay I was thinking

When you're watching When you're watching Oh whoa whoa You're gonna say Hold on hold on You're gonna say that you can just phase out homosexual acts No no the hand

Hold on Are you telling me you get off to grabbing a dick? Dude, my own. Just my own. You're watching a porno with a weaner going in and out. You're staring at this dude's dick. Is that gay? Nick, you tell me, you just said,

you consciously imagine your dick in your head. Like, you focus on grabbing your dick when you estimate. I don't focus on it, but it's there and it's doing it, and I'm doing it. It's a sexual energy, yeah. You can maintain an erection while focusing on grabbing a dick. That's right. I can focus my. energy while grabbing my own dick. That's what's called fucking jacking off, Zach.

You're gonna turn by grabbing a hard dick. No, my dick specifically. You're defeating your own argument. Yeah, that's right. Oh, Zach, we can see you back into a corner right now. Like, it wasn't me, it wasn't me, it was the phantom hand. Hey, when you're wiping your ass, do you think that's gay too? Because a dude is touching your asshole?

No, it's completely different. Look, this was a mistake bringing this up. No, it's not a mistake. You get older. Second question. Blowing yourself is not gay. If you can. If you can.

Oh, wait. Jeff, did you say it wasn't? No, no, no. I said, last week I made the point. I said, it's a matter of perspective. Yeah. If you're... This is your fault.

This whole thing came out. No, I'm like, this. Shut up. This is Corey's fault. This is Corey's fault. This is Corey's fault. No, he's not here so we can blame it all day long.

If you're sucking, if you're sucking your own dick, if you're doing it purely for like the pleasure, like purely for the sensation on your dick, that's maybe not gay. That's the same thing to say with the hand, but if you're just like the idea of a dick in your mouth that is gay.

Yeah, right. So that's the difference. Oh, so that's gay, but it's your own dick. You just appear to hold on. No, I didn't. No. It's your own dick. You're seriously your own dick. Hold on. This is going to tear us apart. If you're sucking your own dick and you and you're getting hold to the fact that there's a dick in your mouth, is that make you gay? It's your own dick.

Is that what you're talking about? Also, Did this all crop up because you have these fucking conflicting things in your head? I go to sleep by and I don't think about suck it in the thing Dude this went on for like 45 over an hour And by the way, so if you let me ask you this Dude you're misguided you're totally wrong on this No, no no we've said it you keep ignoring it No no no we ask you dude you've got like deep-seated issues right now

You know what? I'm like questioning when you're fucking out of you totally Fuck all this Zach if you could suck your own dick you wouldn't be talking right now because you'd have your dick in your mouth right now. No, let me tell you. It's consistent, consistent. You guys are like, well, it's only gay if you can hog the dick in your mouth. But what's your dick, but it's not gay.

No, you guys are inconsistent. I'm consistent. I go to sleep like a baby. And by the way, when I sleep, there's not a dick in my mouth. That's right. So if I go into my bedroom and I put a butt plug up my ass and put high-hilded shirt. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Now, yeah. Hold on, I would say, I would say, I would say if you're fantasizing you put a dick up your I ask that makes you get yes. Yeah. Okay, I see what you're saying now. So your whole argument is fucking bullshit. Why's that? Because you're saying blowing yourself as fucking gay, but now there's like

very stone into it. No, no, no, no, no. I said it's all the mentality. That's my argument consistently. I said when you've asked me. That's never been your fucking consistent argument. It has been. You can listen to it. Listen to the tape. Rewind that, Mick.

I'm not. Stupid now. So then you asked a question. So touching your little dick is a gay. Sucking your dick is a kid. No, no. Unless, unless you're getting off to grab me a dick. No.

So your question is literally, if you blow yourself and you like to taste a dick and you enjoy blowing men, you're gay, then yeah, I agree. If you want to blow you. Because you took a concept and applied it to, I don't understand what you're saying. Zach, I love touching my own weiner. I do not want to touch any other man's weiner. I may like sucking my own weiner if I could, but I can. But I promise you, I do not want to suck. any other man's wiener and it's not because I think I'm better than anybody all you're doing is justifying like the gay mindset like

If I want to blow a guy. Would you 60 like a guy if he blows your dick while you blow his? No What's the difference? The difference is it's not my dick. I see it's no different if you're gonna do the same thing Your no your initial argument. It's just nonsense. It doesn't make it sense It's all the tally if you're getting up to the idea dig you do you do. Zach your argument is seriously Like this. Hey, uh, if a guy if you really want to suck a dude's dick and you blow you him and you enjoyed it? I'm sorry.

You're gay. I'm punched out. It has nothing to do with me blowing my mouth. It's swallowing your own cum gay. I shouldn't have brought up. Bick. Yeah, you brought the... You, Jeff, you're the one

who opened up this Pandora's box of dick sucking. You did this. No, it's almost over. Because Zach is totally fucking wrong. Nick, it's swallel your own jizz gay. It's coming here about gay. You should have been there last time.

Pete, the neighbors are hearing us screaming. Bick! Corey was... It's jizzing your own about gay. No! Why? Because I'm not I'm not a closet You're just a gay

That's the gay that you're fucking cop in your throat That's the gay that you can do, period Full stop! There's a dick coming in your fucking mouth. The gayest thing I can do is be gay in part of like 30 guys in a row. You spit in your mouth all the time. That's not, are you comparing to Have you ever, have you ever eaten the crud out of your

fingernails? No. I don't even not either. You've never. No, absolutely. Absolutely. You're sucked out of your nansal son of a bitch. It's impossible.

You swallow it. You know what? I respected you, but, you know, there's no way. Yeah, so I don't want to swallow my own common. They'll call me so straight. I didn't say. I'm straight. I'm straight.

I'm straight. I'm like girls. I'll give me that dick now. Come to my throat. I'm so straight. Please, Daddy. I'm sorry. Let me debug your entire question right now

before you move on to the next topic, all right? Fucking guys in the ass is true as long as I protect. pretend it's not gay. You're in the closet, you're in the closet, admit it. Zach, if there was a clone of you, a straight-up clone, would you have

your own clone? Is it fucking you, and suck you in a cloned dick gay? Would you suck, would you let your, hold on, would you let a clone of you set your own daze? What if your fascination with being gay?

Like, you have problems, man. Not people. The act. Is the act gay? Not as a person gay. What problems does it solve if you had the answer? It's debatable.

That's why it's interesting we're debating it. He's sucking your own dick Is that a gay act? Hey, listen I'm not gay But I'll suck my own dick I'm not gay

I'm gonna fuck you up the ass And he'll let him kill my head on ass See now you're just stretching fucking Sarah Palin Fuck you This is a very divisive topic We were saying like If you had to

If you made a clone yourself Court man You don't never fucking mind First of all I would totally fuck myself I would totally fuck my clone Because we're on the same page I wouldn't fuck my clone

To be honest You let him suck your dick Dick? I might let a clone suck my dick but I would not fuck my clone. Truthfully, I would try to fuck my clone, but it would get really weird, and we probably would never do it.

Corey was, oh my God, where do I even begin with that? He was saying, like, you could fucking suck your clone. But he's like, what, it's not your clone. It's, it's you from a mirror universe. It's not your clone, it's you. It's you, but it's not you. It's like this deeply philosophical shit going on. Therefore, it's okay.

Was that the justification for being okay? Yeah. Oh, okay. But Chris said if you, if your body split it to you, that sucked your dick and then you went back to one person then it's not gay. I was looking at it like a sci-fi.

Well, yeah, so if that was the case, then it's not gay, then that deep won't you again. I think that is gay. Chris said it wasn't gay. You're both you. You're not. It's not a clown. You were so wrong.

It's like the weirdest porn that you'll see why. You're going to feel stupid. Our loyal followers are going to write out nice little paragraphs as to why you're a fucking dumbass, dude. Your whole theory is so twisted. Yeah, but that are consistent. We're consistent.

He is semi-conciliation. He's not totally consistent with your bullshit. The same page. Cheapleena's a same page. Yeah. Sort of. See? Yeah, semi. Kind of sort of.

You are obsessed to this stuff though. You brought it up. I didn't bring it up. I'm gonna bring it up. I'm gonna throw the next... Yeah, here's exactly what happened. Sabrina... Oh no, Sabrina's like, do you think Zach hates gay people?

Really? She said that to you? A little bit, yeah. And what's your answer? I don't know. I guess that was... Hold on. We're all here. I guess that was the impression to you all.

Let's ask Zach himself. Do you hate gay people? Maybe she said it in a nicer way, but she's like, do you think he... There's no nice way to say. No, let's be honest then. We're all here. I'm just saying, Zach woke up one morning and he had an epiphany and a lot of questions about himself.

That's all I'm saying. And now, you're going to do it. And now he's pinning it on. Yeah, I'm going to say, yo. You lost to the shit argument. You lost to the Halloween. You're going to lose the third time. I did not lose on the Halloween argument.

I won that by a fucking lance leg. Exactly. It's been 25 seconds since. Halloween is a superior holiday and you need to fucking acknowledge that. You love her. You still have an answer. The facts. Sampers right, by the way. You still have an answer. You still have an answer.

I hate gay people. I don't give a fuck. Oh, watch you. I'll fuck another dude. I'll get up to it. I'll get a horny. Oh, come on a dude. I'll fuck him in the ass.

But it's not gay. And I'll like you guys in community too. And I'll like you guys in community. I'm simply, I'm simply all along those faggots to fuck each other. But my point is, is the act gay. Because everyone has a different answer. What? You didn't.

answer the question. Do you hate gay people or not? What do you get from... I don't care of fucking someone's gay or straight. Okay, good. I'm simply debating whether the act is gay in your pants. Because everybody has a different answer. Dude, you can't debate whether the act is gay or not because you... You can literally do that because it's... Something that's gay is something of the same thing. Gay and straight isn't a switch that you can, like, turn off the line.

And the act can't... I don't understand what you're gay. I agree with that. A bisexual could do something gay or straight. I couldn't have a better fucking intro to this podcast. Fuck you, Zach. Your whole line of questioning, all this is... I'm making complete sense.

An act. Something you do does not make you gay or straight. Yeah, you're standing in a corner, cowering, because your initial fucking argument was wrong. If you listen to both these podcasts, my regards been the exact same. You guys been flip-flopping. I've been...

I've been flip-flopping. I have been so consistent. What are you doing is gay? Your argument hasn't been any since from fucking jump street, man. Why is it... I hope I can't... I don't fucking turn that part up when you said that. If I was gay, then it would be gay.

Your dick sucked. Not an hour. Yeah, because I'd be gay if I was doing that. No, what if a dude, what if you blew a dude when he blew you? Is that gay? Guys. Change the subject, Zach, you already lost. Look, we can debate all day.

The truth is, until you all suck your own dicks. The truth is, Zach needs to get out of the fucking closet. The truth is simple. And talk to his mom. All right. So you either got to suck your own digs or fuck each other until we find the answers. That's the rude problem. Stop what you mean that?

I have completely fine by sexuality. You guys are projecting. No, you're not. No, you're not. I am so fine. No, you're not. Because not everyone has your fucking weird view. Of what?

No, you're mad because you don't have my weird view and you're confused. Seekled to be weird. I have totally fine with you with you and totally put with my view. You think how weird because I don't like buttholes. I'm not fine. I'm not fine with your view. I'm not fine with your view.

I'm not fine with your view. Exactly, because you think a little bitch. You think you're extreme. Look, look homophobob. drinker. Let's just wrap this up. Jack, you said you hate you guys. Yeah, that's right. We have both of them.

Listen, man. What? I'm going to get that enough from everybody else. I don't need it from my best friends. I'll let it slide this time. Jesus Christ. No, it's okay. I'm sorry, man. I listen to like 90 minutes of Corey screaming about this on the other podcast. All right, all right, so listen.

It's obviously a hot topic. All right, so let's just agree that Jack is wrong and move on to the next topic. All right. Jeff, where'd you get your hat? Ben, Jeff, where'd you get your hat? Where'd you buy your hat? What happened to everything in here?

He got drug, but... I stopped. I stopped drinking it. Corp. Not Corey. Oh, who are you going to call Corey? It's me. I was going to call it. Welcome to Corey Town. Oh. How much longer do you think we have until World War III, Zach? Yeah.

obsessed with... Seas political politics. I'm interested in a little obsessed. I don't know. Did you hear about the thing? Sorry, I don't want to make this all newsy and seeing it. Do you think it's going to break out? because the Jews and the Germans are we're blowing each other. I think, I think

Viper Prudis is going to be like, you're like happy people going to go, yes, they're still killing each other. It's going to be chaos. Why not? They fucking start wars over dumb or shit. That's true. When is World War III? Just give us a date. Tomorrow. No, give us a real date.

I don't know. I don't know. That could be real. Fucking. That is true. It's hard. Surprise! Whoop. You want a real answer if you wanted you want to continue with the podcast?

I don't know you guys. care. Why is your couch so big? I don't buy his couch. This is Mike's couch. It's huge. You look at the little kids sitting on it because your legs not even touch the ground. You know what's weird about that couch, though, is that it leans so far backwards? It looks like you could just, if you wanted to,

you could just hide yourself in it, like a burrito. Is this for me? Yeah. Oh, Stamper. You want to say something about news. Oh, no, I was going to say. I heard that there were some English fighter jets that ushered off some Russian bomber. There's a video of that. You can just cut this up.

There's a video of that of this fucking the Russian like the biggest Russian baller they have and there's like 10 NATO jets around it and one of the fucking

some guy the guy who's recording inside the Russian cockpit one of the fucking NATO jets like shows its belly and shows his fucking missiles it's like

it does this and just shows missiles that goes back down it's the coolest fucking thing ever it's the biggest fuck you that I got

wow what's funny yeah I know what about that news there but they said the US government ran a study and thought

they yeah they said Putin was had Asperger I know he I left so fucking hard at that That is like, that's a YouTube comment It's like, yeah, poo that has fucking autism

What's next? Put he's like, yeah, you don't have a tautous guy You have a fucking Brony avatar You back in America, whatever You told me to cut this There's no way I'm cutting that part You think he's over there Like getting people to translate

Chris Chan videos? Yeah No, I swear to God, Geopolitics involves more more like the YouTube comment system fucking North Korea Put an official press release like a year ago

called Obama a fucking monkey Yeah That was an official That was like by the fucking these people that's his suits like Oh Bob was a funky That's where I got it from Because it was so bizarre and like Adelette's feel

For somebody with that amount of power To say something so These are guys in suits Like who go to meetings every day and have copy I know They're like They're no more fucking advanced than school children Just going around saying the dumbest fucking shit

Except they got fucking nukes Yeah That is the question Dumb school kids with nukes That's why I think this could be a big war Here's a question for all of you guys Yeah, okay You know, with the whole advent of total recall

And all that Would you take up the opportunity To go to Mars and never return? No, I wouldn't I know Zach would No, I think that's a really romantic idea But after about a week there It's like only vacation, right?

It's like you go to Hawaii After like a week of Hawaii, you're ready to come back I think Mars would be even that tenfold Well, it's not a vacation now what would you miss? That's what I mean though So you could Hawaii's fucking amazing If you go to Hawaii for a week, you're like, I want to go home.

Mars would be, that time's a million. You'd be there for like 30s and be like, I fucked up, dude. Yo, that's actually a cartoon series I wanted to make, which was about a colony that goes from Earth to Mars, and it's like the 30 people that are all trapped together, and like, they all fucking hate each other, because, like, they're just random-ass people that fucking signed up for this shit.

I think it's like, it's like, it's like, I'm going to die of Mars. It's like, yeah, you're going to go. It's consistently romantic, though. you go there and those are, you're on a brand new planet? You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, like, what would you miss from Earth?

You're living in a rocky desert. Yeah, the entire plant. And you're living in, like, a fucking, like, tube compound. The president of the United States, every president of the last, like, whatever many years, always complains that they can't have privacy. Obama, like, pisses off the secret service

because he goes out and walks, because he can't be alone. That's the president, dude, he's the president. He's the highest, he's the, his most powerful guy on earth. That was powerful guy on Earth. That's as a bad thing as it gets. And you can't just go up for a fucking smoke or whatever. So on Mars would be like, yeah, you're on Mars, but you can't just go up for a fucking cup of coffee or whatever.

What's the biggest... What would be the biggest downside? Like, the fact you can't go outside without a fucking helmet on? I think the biggest downside is you're on Mars, dude. Nobody's fucking there. I really don't see what the problem is. What if you didn't like people? I love space. I love Mars, but...

There wouldn't be a lot to do besides work. It's a value. That's all we do here. It depends what's here. You go up for a breath of air, though, if you eat it. You couldn't... Your food would be very limited. Yeah. You can't get a red lobster or whatever. The sky never fucking changes.

Right, but you never get to change who you hang out with, too. Like, you're fucking trapped in this fucking tubular... What the hell are you talking about? I don't change who I hang on with now. I meet psychos. Yeah, that's right, but you got to choose who you got to hang out at this point. It's just people signing up to go to fucking Mars. Most of those people are fucking either homicidal or... They're fucking just the weirdest, awkwardest people who are so distanced from Earth to begin with

that they'd rather live on a different fucking planet than being with all of us like you're on Earth. You think they would put those assholes on a ship. I absolutely. Because those are the only people that would spend the rest of their lives on a planet off of Earth. You're talking about colonizing another planet. They wouldn't do that. How many mentally healthy with like good relationships and all that kind of shit would be like, yeah, I'm totally good to leave. everything off of Earth and just move to fucking Mars with like 300 strangers

and advanced mankind I would say thousands no no seriously dude you have no faith in mankind this is another argument you're gonna fucking lose all of you're saying it's a thousands of people to Mars immediately thousands of people would want to go to Mars no there are thousands of people that want to go yes no thousands of good people would want to go hold on they want to go but that's not the same as being able to go the actual amount of people that be able to go over, I mean, we're talking like 20 people, 30 people a year.

If you look how much... You're talking technical stuff? No, I'm not going to disagree with that. No, no, no, but what Stamper is saying is what I disagree with, which is that... I agree with Stamper, but I disagree, it would take, honestly, a century to get, like, a good couple

of dozen, thousand people there are. I think that, right, so let's just say... Hold on, hold on, hold on, let's just say everyone could go to Mars. Let's just say there was an open pass. There's a button you can press. Anyone can go. I think you're going to get a...

hell of a lot more fucking weirdos going to fucking Mars than straight up fucking good people. This is not my argument. I'm saying there's thousands of good people that could go to Mars and colonizing it be a perfectly habitable place. I don't disagree with that, but I think that there are so many weird ass fucking people who

are distanced from this world and this life that they are not necessarily people that I want to be... It's not a bus. They can't just board it. Yeah, they're not just going to let anybody, they're going to test you family for months. I'm not going to let some cycle was the kind of his family up on the

like you for example you're not going you're never going that's because by the time we showed up there'd be no more booze when we got to Mars and they'd be all fucking pissed on yeah they'd be sitting there sucking my own dick and they'd be like fuck this asshole colonists for the first couple years they're going to be stuck in these tiny little pods that's right

eating like plants let me tell you this they might be able to read books I'd go to Mars they forgot how to read on their way to no no no no I'm saying at most for entertainment they'll be able to download data-wise they could probably send them books

but not movies probably I think they download like the entire internet before they show it up they'd have millions of hours of fucking bullshit and cats playing pianos reading Wikipedia yeah that's right in Wikipedia articles

on Mars they wouldn't have it yeah you'd have nothing you kill yourself yeah well so here's my options I colonize another planet or I'd sit and debate about debate about blowing my with Zach

imagine them to move into the middle of this fucking Sahara Desert and you'd never see another HD video in the rest of your life you'd have shitty food coffee if you're lucky I eat like garbage anyways who cares Stop seeing it's not a big deal it is a big deal I love how you're in the middle of the Sahara and you might

have coffee I like how that's an option though Like maybe Maybe you have coffee Think about how people react. Maybe get another shit in three years of, like, a cured coffee. We'll never have another good coffee. Institutionalized? No, they threw it like in a little fucking tight.

Solitary confinement. Yeah, humans crackers are solitary confinement and get fucked up. Imagine that, but for the rest of your life pretty much. They're not sending you to prison. They're sending you to Mars. No, but like this. The house were in, would probably be smaller than, like, they're bigger than the pod.

You guys sit in your apartments all day in anime, and this is going to have a fucking problem? It's about the ability. You can't. You have the ability to walk us Whatever you want to do you? You can't just do that. How long would each of you think you'd be able to last living in like a solitary environment just by yourself, like never seeing another person?

I actually have more faith than I... How long could you last comfort? I think I would do well. You know what? And you can't go to Mars. I could live the rest of my living. Yo, yeah. No.

Absolutely. I think as animators like we've conditioned ourselves to be isolated. And I do think that like we could be in an isolated space for years. I absolutely. Way back to Jeff.

And we would not go crazy. So with what resources or lack of resources? You mean just by yourself? Yeah. Yeah, just naked. I guess, like, Buck, naked. Imagine if you're like Will Smith in the fucking movie. Butt naked.

What is it? Buck? Nicked. Not after her. Not after her. Not. Let's say you have all the video games and movies and everything you ever want to. Oh, you have like resources.

We'll not see another human being ever again. Well, I can do that forever. That'd be fine, yeah. Okay. If you were just locked in a row. Like fucking... You wouldn't be locked in a room. You can do anything,

but you just wouldn't be able to see another person. I think anybody says they would have a bit of breakdown. Oh, you mean just like devoid of human conduct? Yeah,

like no other person to communicate with. I feel like that's like your dream world, to be honest. I don't even think that's a sentence. Oh, I'd love it.

I think you'd be like, where the fuck is this place? I'm down. I'd say that I can handle that for a really long time, but after a couple years, don't talk to me again if something really

fucking weird is going to happen. You're going to like be, you're going to get so... Like after seven years? I'd get so horny, though. I'd feel like I'd be like Jacker... I'd be sucking my dick all the fucking time at that point. Yeah, but is it gay?

I'd be the gayest motherfucker in my own world because I'd be the only human left and that's all I'd be doing is sucking my own dick. All day long. Zach, if you were the last human on earth, would you... Would you grow a little... Like, you could grow a little Hitler mustache

and drive around screaming, like... screaming. I can't go ahead of a bus. I put it as a boy like I'm missing that You can draw one and nobody would criticize you You could shave it off some Dead body and then super glue to your face

I'm sick at 20 fucking meme. Stop with Hitler It's real funny when I get 30 messages on Twitter hey look Hey Hitler, hey Hitler, you're a real god dear buddy You've started it! I haven't You started it's listening to the podcast I've mentioned this like episode 6 I don't think it's funny anymore

You kicked it off in episode 1 You did I can't do it back I don't like it anymore It's a meme now It's a meme now I agree it is Yeah I'm sorry

You and Corey You're your memes What are some memes for us Zach? You look back So he looks so pissed You're Asian Yeah

I'm gonna I'm never gonna hear At the end of that one I'm Steve John I just remember How you told me that story That you were in your office You were working very hard

And our pipes still weren't working And I was like, yeah, we're talking about heat And I was just about to turn around You're like, hey, you know, not that it really matters But I just want to let you know You see that bottle over there? And I was like, yeah, of course This is the whole story unfolded

And I was like... Yeah, I was debating whether Because I think I'm losing... I felt like you needed... You know what it was? It felt like a cry for help In terms of like, I was working so hard last night that I got so trash

while I was like working on shit. No, it's because... I just feel like we get so far in life, and that we start losing our minds kind of on an individual basis. Yeah. And we don't know what's acceptable to tell people anymore. Oh, it's true. You know the level I was when I waved my shit in front of your face. Yeah. Oh, yeah, when you were slinging your dirty undies up in the air, like a fucking decap getting it.

You would be like to come down to a little someday. That image is burned into my mind. I'm trying not to. I just heard about it. For some reason, I feel that's worse than drinking my own piss. No. Do you ever tell that story? Yeah, I told it on episode 13.

Oh, yeah. No, that's still worse. I unfortunately got to see, yeah, I got to see a cup full of Zach's shit. That was an accident, dude. Oh, shit. So, wait, you shit in a cup? No, the doctor. I went to the doctor.

He was like, can you shit in this cup? And I was like, oh, a doctor and I shoot the cup. He said, why did you shit in this cup? You fucking, I was joking, dude. You fucking did it. You fag. And he walked out. How do you shit on command?

Every time I go to the hospital and they tell me to piss or shit in a cup, I can't do it. I was in the diarrhea. I went in the bathroom, but they put it over the toilet. I guess you're going to be a nurse. I guess you've got to get you into shoveling of you. No, no, I mean, how do you do it as a... As the giver? Like, say, can you go pissing this cup?

And it's like, I don't... Maybe in like three hours. I was going to bring that up. Yeah, like, sometimes... The few times I've had to do that. A, I either couldn't piss. And I had to sit around for an hour, awkwardly apologizing because I couldn't piss. Or they gave me the cup when I over...

You ever overfilled a cup? Yeah. No, I did one time. Did I get it to like this cup? Dude, I'm telling you. But it's like brit to the top of the brim with piss. I had a one liter fucking bottle and I filled it up. It was fucking nuts.

You're, you're pissing in a cup. Do you feel like you can't stop? You're like, oh, I need to stop. You know what I mean? It's hard to stop mid-piss. The first time I did it, I filled it all the, like, I literally only need like three drops. And you fill it. Stay up next to be pissed.

Try to stop mid-piss if you have a big piss. You know what they need to do? They need to put sensors in the fucking toilets in the bathrooms that you stay in. So you go and piss in the toilet and they just test it through the toilet and they just test it through the toilet water that you piss in. The end. That is genius. You want a store sample? That would be an $87,000 dollar toilet. They get paid enough.

I give it to you that'll be in every hole like 100 years. You'll have a big diarrhea. It'll be like, you have cancer. Good day. Zach, what is a piece of technology? Good day. Be well. Be well. Besides the cancer. L-O-L-O-L-L. What is something in the future that, you know, after we're all dead and

there would be some piece of technology, what would something in the future you'd want now that, uh, you know you'll never be able to have, but, uh, they'll have in the future probably. Uh, wait, you gotta try and give me that. Little great, great, grandson, uh, Zach, Zag. He's, he's, he's easy, he's good.

You're still gone? No, I want to know. If you fucking T-Bones, if he fucking T-Bolts are caught his half-en- Answered the fucking question, Jesus. Sorry, Jeff. Just my audio-sync. No, it's all right. What wonderful piece of futures tick technology that might exist 100 years for now would you want

now, or even far in the future? What's something you know you'll never have, but it'll exist one day? It'd be a convenience to your everyday life that doesn't exist. Cancer Machine. I just said that. You can't see someone. Cancer scan. I would choose that though. I would choose... You wouldn't choose a cancer

scan? Most problems are solved with common sense. Like it'd be... That's right. When I got cancer, all I needed is some good common sense. Boom! Like if there's a machine you can put your finger in and it's like, oh, you'd stop eating sugar and stop smoking cigarettes. You're saying the cure to... Right.

Before you get to that point, why don't you fucking stop doing stupid shit? I would love to see the future just for this part. I know this is going to happen eventually. But AI is going to get so good at one point. At some point in the future, be able to program something that can tell the funniest joke. Like, compile every single, the best joke of all time and a robot that you can tell the funniest joke.

Do you feel threatened? No, people would feel threatened. Because what the fuck would happen if robots can, like, broken and pinpoint the funniest fucking joke of all time. Nobody can be like you. Nobody can be like me. Nobody can be like him. Yes, it does matter.

You take every amazing best joke and think of what makes to his lap. That's not an individual. That's like an amalgamation of fucking everybody. But imagine if like scientists programs that and it sells the jokes of comedians. It is not possible to manufacture

a personality. It's not. Hold on. I have somebody to say about that, but Jeff, I want to test something real fast. Hold on. Why did the chicken cross the road?

I have no particular insight into the motivations of chickens. I have no particular. Take of insight into the motivations of chickens, Jeff. All right, never mind. No, no, but I don't even... No, that's a perfect example, actually. Jeff, I don't even like...

I don't even be like... Artificial Intelligence responding, like, being witty. I mean, like, it's completely unintelligent, but they take it... They basically make an algorithm. They put every single, the most funniest groups of all time in his computer program, and then from there, figure out the funniest jokes.

That's not... That's not possible. I would say it absolutely is given 100 years. But hold on. You, when you see what is, quote-unquote popular, in terms of common, right? you immediately... I would say there are some objective

of basic, like, basic, like, timing. Sure, but there are... Now, I'm just saying, of all the things, like flying cars, teleportation... I think flying cars... You want an AI that can tell funny jokes. No, he doesn't want it.

Because I can't... Because I think every asshole his dog is going to say, fly cars, and cancer, you know, robots, and... I've just thought about it before. Sex robots. I think sex robots.

I don't think flying cars are ever going to be compacting on jet packs. They're so weird and stupid. You know, I want... I want that, like, in total, in both total, recall movies. You can

dress up as another person. Ew, you watch the second one? Gross. Why? Isn't it with Colin Farrell or whatever? Yeah. It was just kind of bland, honestly. Wasn't it the same movie just remade? It was different. They apparently went, they apparently tried to

stick more to the book. Don't anybody. Oh. It just didn't have that much personality. It was really kind of... You always do it every time of some of the leaves. I promise. I won't. Like that movie, like many movies see, the art direction was nice.

Wait, why exactly did he have leaky butt again? He has to go blow himself upstairs. He has to go... Convincial. I like Zach a lot. I just wish he didn't have such a pooping problem. Nick, are you all right? Dude, you don't even know.

Does you have any final words? I actually had a good point. What was the last fucking thing that was said? You were saying that Mortal Kombat 2 wasn't as good as one? Wait, wait, no. Mortal Kombat 2 is way better than 1. I loved Moral Kombat. Wait, what?

No, Mortal Kombat 1 was the best. No? Two was way better than one And the three was... How was more combat... No, the movie. Not the game. Oh, why are we talking about the fucking movies? Idiot? Well, obviously the first movie's good.

Nobody liked fucking annihilation. Yeah, the second movie was terrible. That's what I was saying. Why did you say the movie was the movie? Why did you go to the movies first? Because I thought... That's like the street fighter was bad. Because we were talking about movies more than we were talking about video games.

You dumb chink. You know what? Chichon. Oh, chichon. I wanted... I remember hearing your podcast where you're talking about going to Korea. Yeah. And how they had those, like, toilets where you had the squat.

Yeah. And how it was such a fucking burden on you? I never did it. I just saw them. There was a piss trough that did make me uncomfortable in this one bathroom. It was like a round trough. And they all stood around it. But anytime a little kid came in, he would, like, get completely naked and stand there.

I like, I like to get me. And I'm getting so horny by it. I was just like, oh, my God. You get a huge boner while you're pee. You pee You pee like just everywhere I pitched such a big tent I couldn't like undo my pants

I had to run out crying and I was embarrassed Here's a question Can you guys piss when another dude is standing next to you at a urinal? No I cannot Not if they're taller than me If I'm drunk I can If I'm super drunk and I really gotta pee

It doesn't matter who's next to me But if they're taller than me And I know they can see my wiener If they wanted to It has nothing to do a seeing the wheel For me it does Even if they like what they saw It still weirds me out

Are you a motor when you're drunk when you piss? Are you the, oh, are you that guy? You lead your head back in bones? I've done it a couple of times. I don't do it all the time. It's the dudes that are in the stalls. Like when you're pissing at a urinal and the dude's in the stall and they're shitting and they're like, oh! Yeah, that's weird.

I was a rush started a couple days ago and I saw a dude boating. I was going, oh, ah! I fucking got it in a real fast. He just ran out. He just got a birthday there, dude. No, but the worst toilet experience I had in China was when we tried to go horseback riding by the Great Wall and the only place they were doing the horseback riding

was by this farm. But essentially, the bathroom that they had was just this shed. So they were like, oh, I need to go to the bathroom. Outhouse. Yeah, yeah, it's right over there. It wasn't an outhouse. It was like this small shed with a big ditch,

almost like if you were to look at the end of a pool. Like, you're looking into a pool. And it goes to the shallow one. I swear to God. absolutely on my grandfather's grave I saw a horse's head I saw half of a fucking cart like a with the wheels

A decapitated horse's head I don't know if it was just I don't know if it was just the head or the whole horse was in there I couldn't tell it was just this pit of things and it included a whole lot of shit and piss but it had a horse's head

and it had a whole bunch of like weird thing sticking out of it and maybe if anyone's traveled to China who's listening to the podcast who's ever fucking been to China to like a farming community would be like, oh yeah, yeah, that's absolutely... Yeah, of course the piss.

Yeah, of course. But all I remember was I was trying to take fucking piss and all of a sudden I saw like a horse's head in there. I mean, it was big. I would have tried to piss the horse's mouth, you know what I mean? No, right. Because you're gay if you put your wiener in the horse's mouth. Only if you think of a guy fucking up the ass and coming.

That would be weird. Jeff, question. Yeah. Do you subscribe to the belief that Jesus was in fact a gray alien? Maybe. It's fucking mouth open. I'll be honest, I didn't see that coming. I didn't see that coming.

It looks, it's a gray alien. It's really good God, but it has a wiggle. It's a fucking conspiracy. His little mouth is open. It's moaning. I've seen pictures of it. It's terrifying. On like a GeoCities website somewhere.

With like some crazy gift background. Geocities.com slash Tokyo slash conspiracy theories. They was, it was on this one piece of information on some GeoCity's web page. And then all of a sudden, makes it true. Somebody leave me to

I think today called Globalism.com and I was like, what the fuck is this? I don't know if I talk about this podcast, but I think it's really funny when the conspiracy theories get conspiracies made about them

and they get furious. You know what I'm talking about? Like Alex Jones has a conspiracy that he's actually Bill Hicks who lived on and he gets furious when you say that.

There's also conspiracies that Alex Jones is like a CIA agent. Who the fuck is Alex Jones? He's a big fat guy from Texas. It talked like that. Folks, this is not a joke.

There's a globalist. There's a lot of. a big fan guy. He's like 37 but looks 55. Yeah, also Jesse Ventura's one too. He's a huge one. Jesse Ventura. Oh, you know Jesse Ventura's. I remember him when he was an actor. He's the most boring people that are

bunch of slack jobs faggis around here. He talks like this now. 9-11 didn't happen the way you thought it did, folks. It's all an inside job. Alex, Alex, could you please talk about you? You make a better Jesse Ventura than he does. I listen to him, dude. I love him. He's hilarious.

It's the first. folks. Folks, we have big problems in the US government today. You wouldn't believe... Yeah, right? That's good. Why isn't anyone taking me seriously? I was a wrestler

first and a governor second. And then I was in command. Nobody believes me when I said I saw a gray alien run headfirst to the world chain center. You're like when Zach and Jesse would do her with Dragon Ball Z-Campers.

Jeff, if I said he would sound like. Jeff, if I just kidnapped, you, Jeff, what? What if ICE has captured you, fucking knocked your hat off, was like, nice hat baggin, listen to me, bitch. Yeah. Make a slap will kill you.

Maybe I'd start you on, like, I'm dark brown. You're back to the future. Wow, you win. You survived. You definitely survived the future. You definitely survived the future over there. They'd be psyched. They probably just got it.

There'd be one dude, he's like, I like, I like, I'll look at him. You know who I'm worried about is Corey. The movie over there is probably called, like, Libyan Terrace to the future. Like, they're... Libyan's in the van or the star of the movie. And they're, like, Marky and back in the film.

That's right. They have our own whole version of that movie. They re-edited to make a little bit. They... They chase them, they shoot him, and the movie's over. It's a... It's a short film. Because they have the scene where Michael J. Fox is all sad over Dr. Brown's death.

They just... It's the movie. Right there. They're like... Movies are. over, we won. Speaking of third, Travestor abortion, we're going to abort this instead of what I do long. Goodbye. And let me summarize by saying that Zach was wrong on every argument that he made in this entire fucking thing.

If you guys want to embarrass Stamper, again, feel free. Oh, you know what? Oh! If you want to embarrass Stamper, leave your honest opinions below. Give us some last words. Yeah, Jeff. If you'd like to embarrass these guys, send a, dollar to their Patreon.

Oh, wow. Sleepy Gavin. Hey, if you want to tell Jeff to go fuck himself, go tell him to go fuck himself. Let's listen to this. Go to add Johnny underscore Johnny Utah underscore N. It's in the hardest off the press

memes. I'm talking bad luck, Brian. I'm talking awkward penguin. You know what I mean, folks. Go, go, go. Good luck, dolphin. Upset television. Green Wall's staircase. Draw your own picture of Jeff. How will we make a meme called

Bad Decision Stamp. Stamper makes you keep making bad decisions. Here's one. Stamper. He's gay, Andrews so piss, and the podcast! How about closet homo, Zach? What's a meme for closet homo Zach? He's like, is gay, doesn't tell anybody.

It's gay, dude. Secret Zach. Secret, Zach. Secret. That's it. Secret Zach. Hashtag Secret Zach. All right, all right.