SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 17 - [Little Skatey]

Episode Date: February 28, 2015

Lyle McDouchebag joins the cabin crew for an enlightening conversation, plus he stuck around afterwards to watch Chris blow Cory while Zach jerked off in the corner also there was chicken wings! This episode starring: Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) Oney (www.youtube.com/OneyNG) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/Spazkidin3d) Lyle McDouchebag (https://www.youtube.com/user/Guitarmasterx7) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

Welcome to the official Your Mama podcast, where your mama's so old. Her first Christmas was the first Christmas. That's an old bitch. Welcome to the official Sleepy Hollow podcast, brought to you by Fox. Did you guys know that there is actually another podcast about Sleepy Hohom? We have a story about that. Do you really? They came on the website, and so what are the guys from Fox?

the website made the calendar was like, can you please change your podcast to a difference? This is what happened. I messaged him and I'm like, we're not going to change it. And he's like, we're prepared to be hacked because I know hackers. And then he sent his drones from the Sleepy Hollow podcast to spam and be like, Sleepy Hollow Podcasts better. You know,

you know where I actually found that out? Like, funny enough, I follow a Twitter that's called For Exposure and it's basically a bunch of like shitheads who try to get like artists who work for free and it's like a bunch of like insult shit that they like unintentionally say.

Really? And one of them was, uh, you can be an official sleepy member of the sleepy cast, like, basically do our whole web design for us. And I was like, what the fuck did they actually do that? And so I put in quotations that exact phrase and then the other sleepy cast came up. And it was like a sleepy hollow fan podcast that had like 35 views. And I was like, oh. There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense.

A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin, it's a bunch of guys, he's a bunch bullshitter. Welcome to the Boring cast, full of fat, ugly pussies. Today, I am joined by... AKA the View. You've already heard Corey, Spaz Kid.

Zach. Christ. And I am Lyle McDushbag. Oh, a guest. Do the guest, Corey. Do the guest jingle. Daddya! Stop ISISing out, you guys. All night last night, these guys were fucking ISISing all over the place. By the way, we padded that term, you bet it up.

Yeah, you can't. Isis out is officially a new dance craze. All right, guys. So let's break the ISIS. Let's. Let's get this punch. Listen. Are you skating on thin ice as Chris? Topic of the day is puns.

I cannot. Pun jokes are just like the bane of things I don't like. Can I say that? Is that makes sense? Is that pertain to actually what it means? Do you realize that because you don't like them, you're like the perfect comedic subject of a pun joke? You do realize that, right?

If somebody tells me pun jokes, then I know they're just tri-hards. Give me an example of a pun joke that would piss you off if you heard it. Um, okay. I don't, I don't know. Like, uh, okay, we give me a subject and you think of a pun about it. Okay, banana. Uh, orange, you glad? I didn't say banana.

That's a, that's a pun. Yeah, nobody. I just said that's a fucking knock-knock joke, Corey. This is the fucking... Listen, I don't give a fucking joke from the fucking Himalayas. That shit. The Himalayas is just that time. It's a place.

Listen, Zach. Listen, Zach. What? There's a time and a place for pun jokes. The Himalayas is not it. They have really thin air in the Himalayas. I bet if you went to the fucking Himalayas, you found Mr. Iceman there,

he went up to him. I bet he had the best pun jokes he ever did. Fucking he did. Putt in your head. He's tearing up your head. Listen, you don't go to any fucking Yetis hanging out outside ice cream. Corey, I don't care how wet and ready for the Yeti you may be. Listen.

In the Himalayas, the air is thinner. That means puns can travel. Through the air, faster! It makes your win even quicker than it already was, Corey! You guys, break it off! Quick man! Quick man, calm down! Quick man, we need to slow down.

We're getting too fast for everyone. Puns? What do the Yeti... I'm done. That's what I gotta say about that. Punts are fun. Punts are dumb. What did the Yeti were to the wedding? A Yeti.

That's horrible. It's terrible. Here's the thing. What I saw you, I thought I was proud of that. Here's the epic gauge of giggles off the giggle meter, okay? Means.

Pints and fucking... I'm just gonna dig you a fucking... I'm gonna diggering you a fucking giggle pit, Corey. Listen, I'm gonna tickle you in the fucking diggle fit. I'm gonna fucking throw a diggle fit in your giggle pit. Listen, I'm gonna roll you over and fuck you in that giggle pit. Guys, you fuck.

You were so hard with your game. I'm so flat. I cannot be rolled. I cannot be rolled, Lori. I'm gonna poke the sides of the fucking... We didn't get back on tractor, Corey. I'm gonna put the sides of the hall and fill it with mud, so it fucking caves in on us in mid-kiss.

Fuck you! Okay. You got me. When I bought up my hilarious yet-tie joke, I thought of something. Bo-ties. Listen. Lyle, what are your thoughts on bow-ties? Okay, you know my thoughts on bo-ties, motherfucker.

I don't. I think you'll put into an interesting discussion. Hold on. No, bo-ties historically are just underneath the powdered wig for the gayest fucking thing that any human being is ever worn. Kirby sex, Mario eats mushrooms to get high.

Fuck you, Chloe, what do you think of bow ties? Yeah, what do you think of bow ties? They're hard to put on. Chloe, would you put on? Oh, yeah? Is it the only reason you don't wear them? Listen, I...

Or do you not wear them because you're not a cunt? I wear bow ties because I support my man, Bill Nye. You're what? Bill Dines-Ly-Ly-Led science guy. I love Bill Nye. Pee-wee-Herman? I love Bill Nye, but he looks like a queer. Historically.

I denied I have 100 molesters wear a bowtop. Yeah, it's true. It's true. You can either find the red dot on the website or a bowtie. Either way I identify as a pedophile. This is what I did. This is what identifies a pedophile. Fucking kids.

Comover haircut and a guy fucking a kid in public. That's how you find a pedophile. Hold on. Hold on, Corey. I think if I saw a guy fucking a kid in public. Sometimes they just wear the bow tie to lure the child in. This is retarded. We have a guest.

His name's Lyle. and he came all the way from Texas, California. Close. Texas California. Texas California. And he's going to tell us

a really interesting thing now. About bow ties? About bow ties? Fuck bow ties. All right. Wow. Do you have any really interesting stories that could portraying for a long time?

I have kind of a weird one that I've been fucking telling everybody to remember because every time I get drunk I remember it because it was so bizarre. I put a, I put like, possible like schizophrenia scare to rest

this year at Magfest actually Dude I thought I saw it No uh what okay So last year at Magfest I was I was with my boy Jules Shout out to my home dog Family Jules X-9 right? Yeah 7X

Oh 7X Yeah anyway um I was with him And I went to a party I was already drunk at this point And I went to another party And all that was at this party was like Huge bottles of whiskey And I started like slamming

one and out of nowhere this like huge bald guy with a beard and he was he's like wearing like a flight attendants hat and like a full suit just comes up to me and goes hey I'm Big Al and he gives me a business card the only thing that's on the business card

is just the words Big Al and then I was like I stared at it just like a white card with black text it was like it almost looked like a bobo from from fucking double dragon and it just

had the text that said Big Al across it and I had, I was like, I looked down at it and I looked back up and he was fucking gone. You know what that was? How did Big Al get away from you? No, that's exactly the thing. It just happened and it was so fucking surreal. And then like, it was

one of those things. Why was your guardian angel? No. I wish. No, but I'm not even joking. You have a bad autistic flight attendant. That bothered me. That bothered me for so long. That bothered me for like half a year. a show called Touched by an angel. It would wake me up in the middle of the fucking night and I

would be like, is Big Al real? Like, it was so weird. Like, I just remember it and I would be like, I have to ask Jules if that happened. And I kept forgetting to ask him if that happened. And then this year, Jules had another party and Big Al was fucking there. And I was like, he does exist.

I'm not crazy. And then I dumped all my pills down the sink and then I fucking had a bunch of uh... I've heard about these cases. That's like Chris, if you Chris, did you see Big Al? No, what do you look like? God damn it! Lyle!

You were there! You were there! It's a car. It's a car. Lyle, listen to me. You're riding in a car. This is probably happening. You're riding in a car.

You have Burger King wherever the heck you eat. And then he's sitting over there. You're a semi's coming. He hands you a... Hey, I'm a big owl. I'm a big fan. And then the fucking car disappears and you're on the road again, normal.

Okay, I was with you until the other car disappeared. What are you talking about, Mori? That was stupid, Cory. Fucking tired. Let me give you a real situation. 90% of the way there, and then at the point where you were supposed to say, and then you went to take the card and accidentally swerved out of the way of the truck. You said, the truck disappeared. I fucking hate you.

Wait a little. Wait a little. Wait a phantom semi-truck to hit you? Give me a second, motionaire. Big Al's real. I saw him. Listen. Big Al and the Illuminati and aliens.

Lyle. Space Jews from the future, Corey. But Lyle, when he handed you a business card, did you stop drinking? No. Did you drink less? Maybe. You're on to something here. He sent you the business card and it derived your attention towards drinking alcohol. He's your guardian angel! My guardian angel is... I'll give you tall, by...

He's real. Fuck you, a bunch of other people saw him. Can I give you sit down here and see, gauge your response? So you're at the Big Doll's plate, you know, throw balls in your screaming. And Bigel sits the ball pit, he goes, hey there, Big God, Hi, hi. I will say, I tried to show a bunch of people that card, and everyone was like, this is just a blank card. They were like, I don't see Big Al written on this at all. You're just handing me a blank business card, and I was like, no.

No. See? That's an episode of Twilight Zone. Zach. Autistic Big El, what is? Who's your guardian angel? Big El? No, no, it's wild.

Big Steve. Okay. My guardian angel? His name is Little Skatey. Little Skatey? What does he do? He's this little midget guy that's skate. Okay.

Big, like, Floreson, skates. He has roller skates from the 50s. And you've seen this. He has roller skates, he can skate on the ceiling and giggle.

Like, he, like, giggles at a laugh. Does he always do that, or does he sometimes get it? Listen, you know, what if he's not happy. Listen, listen.

So he skates around, he skates around, he giggles, and he has, like, these, like, 50s attire, so he has, like, snap bracelets and,

and, like, snap bracelets? Not even close. What? Like, Lance Armstrong, Livstrong, blestrongstrong bracelets? You think there's a madman.

From the 50s, that John of kid, he's an operation. Yeah. He's a little standpoint. Listen, that's not the point. The point is, the point is, he's little skating, he's my guardian angel. In case I do something crazy, like, I don't know, stick my name. What, like, think about a fucking midget in roller skates on the ceiling, giggling. In case you do something crazy.

Good thing he's there to stop you. Corey, don't think of your situation. Tell me how he would react, okay? You have to be done. You have to be giggling, okay? Of course. And beg all is, then. gal is there and he says, I'm gonna fuck you

and no one's gonna tell anybody. Skatey protects me. What does he do? He does this. Bigel can't fuck me. He spreads his arms? He just fucking Jesus. What if Big Al put him on his shoulders? And then slap me around. He adopted Skatey and then slapped you around. He'd become a guardian angel totem pole.

No, he's little Skatee. He's not Skatees, little skatee. Oh, little skatee. What about Big Skate? What about Big Steve? What does Big Steen come in there? Big Steed. He made Big Steed up because he wanted to be cool, like Big Gay Al. No. Swear to God this happened to me. Yeah, and Skatee's real too.

Shut up sitting right here. I have to vouch for Corey here. A lot of you guys probably think Corey's making this. The one time I saw Corey eating a big delicious cheese pizza. Big delicious cheese pizza. A piece of cheese almost fell off the floor. I saw Skatey coming spooker before. Yes, see?

You saw the cheese pizza. Yes. And he's called me crazy. Skatey, we were talking. We were talking about myth hunters, busters. Skiddy could be one of those. Skate, he looks like a fucking idiot, dude. You can't even see him.

He has one of those turned up nose. I can see through him and all I see is a big idiot, so fuck you, Corey. His fetal alcohol is... Oh, I'm sorry. Is that why he manifests with roller skates? That's the common symptom. Chris said my guardian, he just sucks. What is, what do you...

Show me? Mine? Yeah. He's not here. Where do you go? Describe him. He's at home. Describe him. Yeah, well, this is your home.

Chris is secure enough in his own body. You do not need a mission on roller skates or a big owl, Corey. I only need a big owl once a year. Yeah. I'm gonna have to send... Skatey's around you all the time. You got some fucking issues.

Skatee's only around you all the time because he's got nowhere to go. She's retarded. Skatee went into the fucking... That's because you're pissing him off but talking about him. Skatey's left the building. It's not polite to talk about him

behind his back. Zach! You have mad stand-up jokes. What would I stay-up? Heka jokes. About certain individuals going to a certain restaurant. So essentially, now if you like stamp like I do, you'll love this.

This is just for you guys, you know what I mean? So it's like basically like, all right, so why did the guy go into McDonald's? T4. Take it a large hamburger and large french fries. Now they make you laugh. Why did it? Now listen to me. I told that joke, all the ladies squirted it.

Listen, listen, Zach? Well, it didn't. Yeah, dude. It was like this joke. I heard this joke on a fucking storybook for, babies and you know what it's called it's called a plot that's not a joke fuck you you guys are making me sick boy what would you do if little skatey started sucking your dick like you woke up with his deep throat are you looking at you in your eyes

guardian angels don't molest you yeah they don't molest you he's a guardian demon he's not twist that's why he's wrong the time he's wanted gorge he's a guardian angel dude you know I grabbed yours he's got big gay I have skating who do you have big al is not gay you take it back I'll fight you listen he might be gay I don't actually know Listen, you're giant, fucking, like, air flight helmet, idiot, dopey retard, mom boy, clubfoot. This is a real person you're talking shit about. He's gonna hear, he's gonna get mad at you. Puck and Chuck and fart eater, Zach.

I grabbed little Skady and they can't sit like, parts, close his face down, he's screamed. You can't even see him or feel him. Yeah, you can see him. You do not! You can steal. I remember Zach was walking around the house with a vacuum. He's a- trying to suck up Skady. You're not a ghostbust, you idiot?

What are you running? What are you doing? Run around! I suck his ass for. That's where running looks like to you? No one else saw that, but Corey said, what are you doing running around? And then, like, squirmed around like a snake moving through water.

That's what you're... How else are you going to suck a midgette's winner? Wild! I've never thought about it. I really haven't. Zach says, the only way for Zach to actually have my guardian angels, he needs a fraternal twin.

So he has to be my fraternal twin. Oh, Corey. You guys look nothing in life. What? What the fuck are you talking about? Twins share guardian angels. It's been proven. God wrote it in the book.

What book? The cookbook. The Jesus cookbook. Are you talking about the Bibli? Yes. Lyle. If you saw a little skinny, he manifest to you. It's her crying.

Would you let him cry on your shoulder? Would you fucking kick him across the room and kill him? I would fucking take him to cook. Corey and be like, what did you do to me? Fix this! What if the- Why do I see this? What about a little old Skatey? How do you think he feels? Cawarer, would you fuck him if you were horny? Skaney?

If you were fucking, he stood skating circles going around your weed or giggling, what would you do? Dude, he's always giggling. And it's not that giggle you think where it's like, who, ho, ho, ho, that's like, that's the fatighing. That's like, that's a fucking pant, dude. Yeah, it's a... Yeah. It's like a little mischievous elf, giggling.

Yeah. But would you fucking, Corey? Listen. If you could, would you? Honestly, if you can't fuck angels. If you wore a wig, if you could fuck this one. When you die, your ass leaves your body. You don't have an ass to get fucked. Wait. You have to go to hell to get fucked. Do you think ghosts have no buttholes? Yes. Ghosts have buttholes, Corey. Would they have ass cheeks still? Ghosts are ectoplasm that floats around and goes through ceilings. In what ceilings?

Ghost ceilings? I thought he's ruined. Glass ceilings. They get better jobs. Corey. Don't understand. The fuck. Listen, okay, this is what my pastor told me. He told me when you die, you go to heaven and you lose your anus, so you cannot be raped by straight... Is that why he raped through the real life so he gets it all over?

You cannot get raped by stray angels. The only way you can get raped is if you go to H.E. Double Hockey sticks and then you get fuck, because they give you back your anus and give you all your sins. And all the angels can straying rape you? They give you extra sins if you... They give you extra butt holes all of your body. Yeah, sometimes they make mistakes. It's not obvious.

Every one of your pores becomes a butthole. Think about that. Every pore on your face is a potential butthole. Tell you little demons to fucking ring. So Skatee doesn't have a butthole. So I can rub up and down and I don't feel a dangled thing. Why would you rub his assail, Corey? When you first see it, what are you going to do?

Just look at it and knock and take a picture. It's a asshole? It's a little baby. It's a little baby. It's a midget. It's a 35-year-old man. The giggle. Baby's giggled too, Corey. You fucking pedifiers.

I like how Corey said literally the skis. stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my entire life. And we've entertained the notion of it for like 15 fucking minutes. Corey, what? Would you be furious of those skating war-ballat-time? Yeah, how mad would you be, Corey? Oh my God, I would, I'd be like, can you tell you this for me? I'd fucking say, really.

You pulled it so tight, his head came off? You know that storybook of the guy who pulls the rope and the bitch's head fall off? That's what I fucking do to skating in real life. If you took a skate to him, what do you do? He has this little bookie writes all the stuff. They're welded to his feet. Yeah. He's like, oh, stummy.

He has nails. He tampered to his fucking feet to the... Everyone knows that when you die, everything you're wearing gets welded to your body. Yes. Fuses with you. So if you die in a gorilla costume, do you become a gorilla? Little Skatee was running down his hill, with his dog and his leash.

The dog ran too fast. He went too fast into an oncoming other dog. The dog... The fucking sheer impact is exploded at his body. And that's why Lil Skateeady has a dog attached to his body. A dog... Dog traffic is really... Dangerous. He was having fun. He's he he, hey, while the winner was going to give in the face

He died in the poodle pit. They all they all snuggled into death. Yeah, but he still had all his clothes in tax so it doesn't matter. It's like he's giggling so hard he couldn't breathe and he died What he wears? He has a bright cut off pink shirt that says workout guy Workout guy what a catchy phrase That's my favorite brand. Workout guys. Fuck you. I remember Workout guy was one of Hollister's biggest competitors for a while. The workout guy.

He has swimming trucks that are orange with white. It was a nice summer's day, so that makes sense. What about his socks? His socks are bright yellow. I was thinking that. And they're like ripped at the top. Why? And he has these goofy, like fucking, like...

Wanchop goggles. Yeah. Yeah, he has one chop goggles. Like, like, like, like, and he has an upturn nose because he has the whole like fetal thing going on. Okay, and what about his fingerless gloves? His finger, how did you know that? Oh man. Corey, you can see him right now.

Corey's here. Corey, he's become real. Hello, Corey. He's got white with like red stripes on the tip of the gloves. This is the part in the movie where you and Little Skatee bonds so much that he becomes real for a day. Listen, this one time. I tried skating. And I was like, I can't skate.

I ain't got in the boots. He fell down. He caught you, Corey. Corey, can we have an interview with Little Skating? He's here. He's here in the studio with us. Come on in. My man, Little Skatey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, skates. I like to, I like to roll up in there, Uncle. You can't talk to Little Skatee like that. You can't even talk to Little Skatee. I have that Skate. Hey, baby, what's up? Listen, little skating. Little Skate.

Yeah, fucking gay. Listen, listen, listen. Hey, John? Little old skates How's How you go up, baby? Fuck off. Fuck you.

Okay, little skitties. Sounds like, Okay, okay, okay, okay, let's, let's, let's be like, okay, thank you, okay. Little skatees left the building, ladies and gentlemen. Bye, dude.

So, let's get back to you since you're the guest. What's... Yeah, Lyle. Tell us... What's so important about you and your guardian angel? Big gal. He's...

Yeah. That one's over, too. Do you have another story? I have another story? I have another story. about an equally weird experience. Okay. Please go again. This is the story

of another such individual that came into my life. See, his name is actually part of it. His name was like Prince Benjamin or some shit like that. It was so fucking weird. So, my internet was, the number on it

was connected to my old telephone. So apparently, when they tried to call me to like, you know, update my plan or whatever the fuck, I couldn't answer. So they actually, sent somebody out from Verizon but I live in a building

that doesn't have like a door it's got a big gate in front of it so like my landlord just fucking let this guy in so in walks like this big like African guy with a thick accent who is like I am Prince Benjamin and I was like

um okay and he's like I am here to upgrade your internet and I was like what the fuck all right so I'm like at this point I'm questioning like, okay, an African prince literally just fucking came into my

house and asked about like upgrading my internet. Like, is this, this is like definitely obviously like the most scammy scenario in the whole world. I have a question. This is something I've kind of asked, like, interest like, you know when you go to like get a flight or something, you can like make your name like

sir or prince or like doctor? Can you actually go with that? Yeah, you can actually, because I always, I'm not to say my name, but sir, Corey Spass kid. See, I think his first name was literally Prince. Oh, that was his first name. Yeah. Makes sense. Prince. So, like, that was

okay. Yeah, I think his name was literally Prince Benjamin, not his title. He could been a Prince. Not his title. No, he was working for fucking Verizon. Maybe it was Verizon's son. Mr. King Verizon's son, Prince Benjamin. It sounds apt,

no, because then his name would be... I am King Verizon. This is my son Benjamin. This is my King Zon. This is my King I keep to you my one child. To go door to door in the great country of America. The kingdom of the internet, Corey. The Fios kingdom. Yes.

The Fios kingdom. The Fios kingdom. Where high-speed children run free. My son Benji, he must bring the internet. I was not hospitable to my regal guest. It's Princess Benji, let's call it. Is Princess Benji good looking? He's looking.

Literally the exact thing that you think of when I said a huge African man with a thick accent. He's exactly what you would think he would look like. But he's in a, he's in a, like, a variety, he's in a full, like, suit and tie get up. I don't know why all these fucking stories of weird people, they're always in a full suit and tie, but he was. Well, that. So anyway, he comes... He's at my house and he's like... Wait, he was in a suit? Yeah, he was in a suit or a white suit. He was a black suit with a red tie like the Verizon colors.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Anyway, yeah, it was like a fucking, like Agent Smith of Verizon, but he's like... also a prince. Anyway, I was less than hospitable to my regal guest because my house was super fucking messy because all I do is like roll around in my old filth and jack off. So I was like

I didn't want to let him in. My dog was kind of angry at him because he was, you know, blah. So, oh, gross. Anyway, so he was like outside, like, filling out all this fucking paperwork. And for some reason

there was like some bullshit with my plan. Let me just sidetrack and say, isn't it fucking garbage that any place you go if the computer is not working, it is the fucking end of the world? Yeah? It's like, I'm completely useless now. I did a thing and the computer didn't do a thing.

Everything is gone to shit. So anyway, that happened. So Prince Benjamin, to give me my new plan, had to literally call Verizon and sit through their shitty customer service. So he had to go through the thing. So I didn't have King Verizon on Speed Dial.

He should have, right? He's a prince. Yeah. But, I mean, even as just a regular Verizon employee without, like, regal status, he should have been able to do it. But anyway, so he was, it was, like, almost kind of raining. Not quite raining, but, like, shitty weather,

like, it's going to rain. And, uh, so he was just like, oh, you can go inside until I figure this out. So I was like, all right. So I just, like, went inside, and Prince Benjamin just stood outside fucking dealing with Verizon technical support for, like, three and a half hours. Did you get him something to drink? It was like, no.

It was literally, yeah, he had to get rain. It did actually start raining by the end of it. But yeah, it was like to this weird point where like I had to go do stuff and I was like held hostage because there was this African prince outside my door fucking talking to technical service trying to get me like a better internet package. Well, it worked out, I guess. Did you get it? Yeah, I did.

Sweet dude. Did he fade away? Did his eyes about staying? My internet is. real. If my internet is real and this is still happening, we have so much fucking shit to go over. How did we meet, Zach? Tell me

right now. How did we meet? I don't know. Wait, no, it was through Colt. Wait, I think was through Corne. Prince Benji. It was through Corny. I... This is what actually happened. Shut up. You didn't get the joke. Never mind. Never mind. I threw something your way. It dropped it. What was it? What did I miss? Come on. Give me a chance, father.

Give me a little... I said that my internet wasn't real, and then I asked you how we met. Oh, we met because you were fucking man and I said you're gay at the end. And I said that's homosexual. You're gonna go to headache. You know, Zach, you dropped the ball and it fumbled and you were on it.

I picked it up, I picked it but threw it a hundred yards. No, you kind of picked it up and like slipped on yourself and the ball went up your ass. And then everyone else had to pull it out and you ruined everyone's day. At least the ball's coming to pieces. If you threw me the ball, I like, fumble it and drop it as well. Chris,

you're my only friend. Yeah. All right, Lila, let's talk about it. talk about the good, the bad, the ugly. Corey, so to speak. You're ugly. The movie? Lyle's good. Sex bad. Chris is. Let's talk about

what everyone wants to hear. Everyone's been asking me. They've been bothering me. They've been clamoring. I've gotten fucking text after text after text on my phone that doesn't have internet or any way of actually getting a text now. What about sanity? What about Sandy? Season 7.

Six. Well, the thing about that... Anyways, Lyle, remember that time you harassed an old lady for no reason? Bitter, bitter. Okay, first of all, if you want to substitute for no reason with totally because it's your fault. It's not my fault. It is completely your fault. I always be a God's little boy walking around.

It is 100% your fault. That old lady was fucking ruined forever. Listen. She killed herself. All right, I didn't see no, I've never seen an old lady about yea high with this kind of hairstyle. What are you talking about? Okay, all right, what happened was Zach was coming out to L.A.

Yeah. And he gave me... Where you live, by the way? Yeah, I live in L.A. County. Sorry, or whatever, Texas, California. You live in a Twixote. Zach was coming out to Texas, California. And he gave me his phone number.

Yeah. Texas... There's a 9 in it, and he gave me a 7. So it was off by one number. On, Zach. So I... I fumbled. I fumbled. I... So I start fucking, like, sending him text messages.

like, hey, what's up, blackery, and what's cracking Blackman, and just dumb garbage like that. So after... This is like the process of a few days. And so, like, a day or two before Zach leaves, I'm getting kind of pissed off, because at this point I'm like,

ah, motherfucker, that guy's definitely avoiding me. He's just like, oh, fucking do my own thing. He's like, he said he wanted to hang out, but he was obviously just saving phase. And I was like, piece of shit. So I tried, I tried one last thing. try calling him, and I get this fucking voice message, this voicemail, of like the most generic sounding, like, frail old lady you could ever think of.

It's like, This is Mrs. Newman's cell phone. Please leave a message after the beep. And then I was like, oh, fuck. So I sent, I sent Zach, like, a Skype message, and it all got sorted out. We never did end up hanging out, though, because he, like, left the next day. But she called me back. And she was like, she was like,

I don't know who this is, but you've got to stop leaving these text messages. My phone plan doesn't cover text messages and they're quite rude. Yeah. She's wackery.

You're fucking bitch. Darky dark in the monkey bun. Negro Damos. I fucking come up with these. She's fubbleing the phone. She's fubbleing the phone. Blah! Blah!

Black! I come up with these weird, like, racially charged nicknames for my whitest friends. Lyle's adjunctions are impressive, I have to say. I'm just, I'm picturing this old lady dropping her phone, or you're just fucking, like, sending text matches, and she can't bend down and pick it up. She opened it up your faces. They're like, hey, blackerring. She's like, oh my god. She's a big. Her fingers are freaky.

But we got Lylel has an impressive skill when every time he talks to you, he has a new, introduction, a new crazy nickname. My favorite was Carl Darks. That one has a special place in my heart. I have an impressive skill. Corey, this fucking word game better not come up again. Yeah, Corey, how much you do that? All right, on a podcast that translates really well.

All right, let me describe what Corey's doing, okay? He's got both of his hands in karate chop gesture. He's putting one above his head and one below his head. Then he switches where they are. And then it goes to the side of his head. and karate chops. He's making a squid around his head, basically. You know how that sounds totally unimpressive?

Well, I have news for you. It is, it is somewhat unimpressive. Tell you a word. Tell me a word. Glasses. This is a game of Corey plays where he tuck who your word. Chia. And he tells you what he thinks of.

Chia pet. All right. Boobes. Blind people. What? Bowling balls. Bowling pins. You're saying words.

This skill is nothing. I just ran out. This is... He ran out. He ran out. What did he ran out? I thought the bowling pin. Play a team.

My mind is blown by this amazing talent. Listen. I'll play the game. Watch. Okay. That's not what I was talking about. Ears. I was thinking ears.

Wow. Fuck you, Kai. Chris, you're just mad because you can't play it. Fuck you. I can win it. You can't play it. You can't even eat tortilla chips like a man. I can't.

I can eat them. I can chew on them. Dude, you're going to get the glutton free tortillas. chips. Is that still a fad? Gluten free? Is that still going on? I know. I know. Yeah. Every time I go a fast food place, it's like, yeah, gluten free or whatever. My cousins jumped on the bandwagon for that, like, four years ago, right when that started.

Your cousins are joining a goddamn cult. They are. It's true. My uncle, this is Alex Jones. He's hilarious. Really? Yes. Why? I don't know. He used to listen to Glenn Beck, but now he hates Glenn Beck, because Alex Jones hates Glob back, so he switched off the... Why? Did Glenn Beck say something about Christianity? These fucking gluten people are going to come in with their...

flat bread and they're gonna try to take over the world and it's not gonna work because they're gonna be malnourished and they're all gonna flop over dead you ever see that thing with gluten bread they're like what it's gluten they're like yeah it's a same thing just bread with a different word on it sell more you know gluten is nobody else fucking dies but it's not gluten is the same thing only has gluten on it to make it they sell it less it's a giant pyramid scheme just like the thing the water people and the fucking yeah that was another fucking thing Water people.

I have to vouch for Corey on this stupid fucking thing because water people is the thing that people say. Yeah, in the Hick area. Yeah, my girlfriend sent me a clip of a game show after I was telling her about how I felt like I wasn't even awake that one time I streamed with you and you were off about water people and putting things up his butt. You were asking me.

That was important. It was, but I was trying to... Why didn't we learn about what I put in my ass? Too much. Too much. What are you putting your ass, Corey? But anyway, yeah, she sent me a clip of a guy who said, this is for my water people back home.

CD holders. Markers with a lid on. You put a marker in your ass. Frozen bananas. Please stop. Please stop. But you really put a frozen banana in a mess? For real?

A frozen banana? It was wrapped in a bag. Out of those? Did you eat it afterwards? No. Why not? You wasted a banana. Out of those things, what felt the best in your ass?

What's your favorite thing to put in your ass? I should put in your ass nowadays. I should put CDs on it. City Holder, you fucking. You could sit on it. You could sit on it. You could... You could... See what I said too much, it was not exaggerating. I would run out. I would run out. You did the fucking bouncing. That look horrible.

I would run out. Corey, you would resumulated bouncing in the ass of a senior holder. I would run out and just like ram against the wall. You spin a ride like a fucking break dancer. You spin the asser of a scene player. Corey's like got a fucking Ottoman set up with a peg that goes up his ass. What were you gonna say? Because you were talking about... I was right.

You were right. Right about water people. And everything I said was true. No. One thing you said is true. The Campbell thing was fucking true also. What, the soup? Yeah.

But fucking they're taking the salt out of soup. So Obama's gonna put everyone in the plastic coffin? Yeah. Because he's preparing for a mass genocide. Yeah. It was real. Totally. The plastic company is real too.

The plastic coffee. God damn it. It's real. They have thousands of things just in case the catastrophe happens. And guess what's gonna happen? The government's gonna turn off all the chips in people's brains. They're all, they're out like... People, people, people leave the plastic coffee thing.

That's on snopes. People believe it's real. I believe that it, there's like certain truth to it. And they're removing the salt. There's no truth to it. There's no truth but I'm saying people believe it. They're removing the salt from the camel's chicken to a suit and adding truth serum. So that people talk about the government. It's all true. What?

If they're trying to... They're trying to control. They don't know about the government. They tell the truth. It should be bad for them. If they're, yeah... I fucked it up. I'm sorry.

I can't hit a home run every time. I wasn't on the water people podcast because my ass was spright and blood, but wasn't, isn't the theory? You came downstairs. Yeah, I came downstairs. Giggling in spring. I walked on you guys. I looked at a snail show of blood on my ass.

But is it the theory that the fluoride is what's in the water that's what's making people retarded. Is that the theory fluoride? See, I never heard it confirmed by anyone else, but that's what for is said. But it's also two things. It's fluoride and it's a thing called D2, which is a synthetic weed. which is really bad to inhale, and it actually, like, makes you stupider. So basically, you just have a bunch of, like, redneck pseudo-metheads.

Yeah, that aren't actually meth heads. And they're blaming the water. No, it is the water. The water also does it, too. The water did it first, and it kind of did it. And these guys were, these guys were, like, Stephen Hawking geniuses before I had the water. They were, like, people who were, like, go down in the storm, like that. Like that. What would they do?

They're like, go, go. Because they talk like that. They talk with frogs. They have their mouths up like that. They're like... They took the rainwater. So anyway... And that's what they talk about. Speaking...

That made me think of something. A hypothetical scenario. Hypothetical. Or rather just something interesting to think about. Give me a hypothetical. We just did Magfest, right? Give me a hypothetical. Naturally, when you meet fans,

you're gonna have one or two awkward encounters with fans. Oh, I know what you're gonna talk about. Oh, yeah. We just went to fucking MagFest. Why are we talking about that? Yeah. Well, I guess... What am I... Here's a hypothetical scenario that I thought of.

Uh, and I just want to suggest it to all of you and react to it how you will. What'd you do? If you got cornered by like... A giant, like, mentally disabled person, they didn't talk, and all they did was, like, squawk at you. Could you give me, like, a, like, the squawking sample? Yeah, if they just went like... Ah! and then you were like

and then and then okay does he eat so so eventually eventually this interaction ends right what if after this interaction this one I would be like I'd be like no there's you haven't gotten to it you haven't gotten to it how would you worry how would you respond

if after this interaction there was like a 15 paragraph articulately written Tumblr post about how much of a dickhead you are because you were rude to them. That happened to me. Did that actually... I'm not verbat.

But, yeah, one time I was like... I was like talking to a girl at Megfest. I'm still friends with her to this day, but I guess her friend got pissed off with me because at the time I was hitting on her. About three years later, still friends, but she wrote a huge tumbler post about how much of her content I was.

Speaking of actual people who aren't made up... How I'd react to that? I would... What would you do, Corey, if that happened? How would you respond if this person was like... I made this big, long post, I was looking forward... Cori Spaz Kid was rude.

I was looking forward to meeting you all... I would be like, first of all, you don't even know what you're talking about. I'll admit I had a long flight, so I might have been a little bit out of it. I was a little labored. I put my head out and might have squawked a tad and Cori acted repulsed by me.

Wait, that guy? Him? He writes the Tumblr post? Yeah, squawked guy. Listen, this is what I would say, and this is what I would say. First of all, I would be like, I was incredibly humble. I told him there was a sandwich below his feet. There was a sandwich down there for him, and he bent down, and I was gone.

The next moment. You screwed you. You tried to lure out? You tried to put the sandwich there, he left? Yes. Why? Does he eat the sandwich like a bug? Does he peck at it?

Yeah. This actually happened. I was on my way up to Aaron's room. This isn't a squawker story. This actually happened. And these two people had a pur-fight. In front of me. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

What the-all? You say that like any of us know what the fuck that is. They had a purr fight. What is, I know you, what's a purr? They were like, meh-b-b-b-dh-oh. Oh, dude. Gross. They were hitting each other.

This was a 26-year-old guy and a 28-year-old woman. How'd you know their age? Oh, they were taller than me. And they were having, they were having fucking mure fights. They don't age, and you don't get tall as you age? You don't get tall. You get tall. What, you can't be tall?

It's a cat their fucking rings coin. It's not a 13 year old who's fucking had a growth spurt. Are you fucking kidding me? It's not a six foot, it was clearly a fucking adult. You get a bearded with a fucking beard. You can't see a age. That wasn't a beard. Corey, you look at the wrinkles on their face. That's better, okay?

Don't judge people based on height. Okay, go on. They were having a purr fight. Sorry. They had cat masks on. Before I was brutally interrupted, they were having a murphite. That's what it's called. Not a purr fight. It's the same shit. You said they were going, it's a per mur fight. It's the same thing.

Okay. Why are you defending it so hard, Corey? Geez, calm down there. Corey, will you have a per fight with Lyle alive? Listen, okay, this is what really happened. I sat there and they were, I was just like looking at them and they were doing it. I don't know if they actually looked at me and I was just like, and they were just like, huh. He's doing the loud right now, by the way. He's got me a purr fight.

Were they like slapping at you? Dude, I would have hit one. No, no, they were slapping in each other. Oh, if you, Cor, could you do too how what they were doing to each other? I swear to God, Cor, if you fucking touched me. Well, you look so angry. We had, we had it. Cory, what if they start progressively getting more like,

meh? I would have laughed. So fucking, like, tail's scrapped into those eyes out. You just, like, get back. Get, like, very territorial, like, fucking. So, put you the asses in the air, walks or quickly. They like walk like cake. They like spray urine out of their asses.

Their anal glands let loose and they just cake the elevator in it. They smatched the walls and run away. What would you do if they did that? And then they got off the floor before yours. And then the next floor you went up and then the elevator opened up and there was just like a crying custodian staring at you. And he was just like, why would you do this? You were like, there were two cat people having a purr fight. Exactly.

He wouldn't believe you! And then I... And then they go, oh, and you know what? And then they go back home, and they both write their fucking Tumblr post about how I was insensitive, and I didn't join him for the purr fight, okay? What about the custodian, though? What happens to him? He writes a Tumblr post about how I didn't clean up and do his job,

and he calls me a fucking abelist. He doesn't want you to clean up for him. He doesn't want you to shit in his elevator. It's not an unreasonable request. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me.

Speaking of like shit. and ruining something. It was the kids murph fighting, the adults murph fighting. We knew a guy at Macfess who told me he was sitting down somewhere and ten guys in furneousoos came over and started seeing smash mouth around the night. They like in circle and started seeing smash mouth. Dude, how nightmarers. That is like Josh Shark beat.

It was all like, somebody once told me. The world was gone to run me. I would be terrified. No more than shit. He will help you got to tell me. See, I'm like picturing the horrifying scenario right now. That sounds awful.

He fucking rand. Anyone would have. I would have. Speaking of, though, shitting on things and ruining something, a certain one of my friends and I'm not going to name names is Tom.

Anyway, he fucking came to my hotel room and my friend had just gotten out of the bathroom and he had to go to the bathroom. My friend comes out of the bathroom and he goes, he goes, man, you might not want to go in there. It smells terrible. And Tom goes, it's going to be even worse when I'm done with it.

He goes into the fucking bathroom. He's not Tom Fulp. It's not Tom Fulp. Other Tom. No, it's Tom Fulff. Anyway. He goes in the bathroom and comes out. Next time I go to use it, the fucking toilet is horribly clogged.

And now I have yet to. confront him about it, but I'm wondering if he legitimately did that for the sake of the joke, or if it was just like, he was giving us a fair warning. I don't know if it was better or worse that he told us he was going to do it like beforehand. Like, was that

premeditation? Finkle luggett up. Longed I've never clogged like was it like premeditation or was it like heads up guys? Like should I be grateful that he warned us or should I be angry? How did someone... Here's what I don't

understand. This is always interesting to me because maybe it's because I have little quaint dainty shits that I don't have these boys I saw you guys are I don't have no it's like you logs that all you motherfuckers have my fucking sister has fucking rabbit shits okay the girls always have fucking little balls I have these little I have perky shoo I have perky petite shits everyone else I know has fucking industrial logs perky shit's the toilet perky they take like a piece of toilet paper you take a shit and it looks excited to start

the day? What is a perky shit? It's bent up. It's cheery. Like a banana? It's smiling up at you. It's got the crinkles in its mouth. Got to get a kiss on the forehead and push it down for the day. You're like ascribing way too many anatomical qualities. You're personifying your fucking shit, Corey. You're personified by your tongue. You know what? The shit looked a little more glossy in the toilet.

Maybe that's what I'm trying to fucking say. Corey. Maybe the fucking Kurds made a smiley face like you would deal with a fucking snowman on a cold winter's day. Why would that happen ever? Has that happened ever? Corey, answer for yourself. Corey, you dug this hole. Did you put your finger to draw a smile face in a fucking turn?

Did you? I did that one. I put a rape and I got a fucking die. Would you get? Six. Yeah, exactly. I put a little googly eyes on it and made a big googly eye potato. That makes me.

Potato? Teter. Teter. Teter. Teter. Pote. A potato poop. A potato poop.

Yeah. I've ever guys ever shit in your hand and wrote your name in the snow with it? No. I've peed my name in the snow? It's boring. You should shit in the snow and I'm ready to get in with it. Doesn't like, when it like, if you use shit as like, like, grapple snow, like, latch onto the snow because it's not like a... A very funny childhood prank was shitting in your hand and rolling it into a snowball and throwing it at your...

Have you guys ever heard of shit buttering? No. Yes, no. Zach, was that a yes? Listen, just go on. Wait, wait, before you said, like, a prank we used to do is we used to, like, fill the snow with, like, make little iceballs inside of snow and then put snow in it, and then we throw it at each other. That's not a prank that's fucking malicious, dude. It's like, it's off.

Okay, shit buttering is actually, it is also a prank. It's a pretty fucking malicious one. Okay, you get like a tub of, like, I can't believe it's not butter or something from your friend's fridge or whatever. Oh my God. You take a shit and you scoop out a bunch of the butter. Oh, no, dude. shit in the butter, and then you put the butter back over it. Dude, I'd never heard

of that. That's fuck. So, have you done this? So, what's the spreading butter? I've done this? What a matter of whiskey portraying to doing this? I, I plead the fifth. You plead the fifth? I plead the fifth. What does that mean?

What does that mean? Until being proved guilty? I'm not, I refuse to answer whether or not have done this. Have you ever been turd buttered? I've never been turd buttered. Have you turned buttered? Yeah, have you ever turned the butter? I've done some things in my life I'm not proud of, let me just say that What did your friend do when he was going to get his butter toast

And he saw a big turd smiling at him See that's the beauty of turd buttering You very rarely are there for the fallout It's like a time bomb sort of gag I'm sure you got a phone call though When he saw a big fat fucking turd Well the idea is They use the butter

They have to use the butter a little bit Before they get to the turd It's like a surprise Yeah yeah So it's like something that happens a week down the line and by then you're so far gone. You forget about sometimes. Although,

although, let's just say, if hypothetically I did turd butter someone, I really hope that they wouldn't be listening to this podcast. Now I have butter by friend. Now, now, now, I, uh...

Jesus, dude. What is it? What kind of butter is it? The fucking... Is it standard or I can't believe that it isn't? It is, it is the butter. Is it the mandarin butter?

Yeah, it's that big, it's that big fucking, like, The idea of like yellow melting butter around shit is the grossest thing. That's the grossest? The single. I have a real question. Wouldn't you be like, oh hey,

this smells like shit? I'm not going to eat this. No, because it blocks it. It blocks it. And also it's like cold, so you know, you don't smell things unless they're like...

I'm telling you right now. Unless you're a fucking like a clay pot expert, you're not going to be able to hide that turn. Okay, there is a... And you're going to have poop shrills all around the poop. swirls, poop swirls. This is a size, Lyle, poop shrills. Yeah. Bill and I was talking about it. He was like, there's a poop in the butter. There's a technique, there's a technique to turd buttering. The poop is in the butter. I'm just saying. Is that like the poop's in the pudding, the poopies in the butter coring?

Oh my god, poop pudding would be way worse. Oh, dude. Oh, because they would be able to go. That is so much better. Why don't you do that? Because not many people keep like open pudding, open homemade pudding in their fridge. The poop is in the the proof is in the pudding it all makes sense there's actually a service there's like a delivery service where you can just order poop to people order order poop yeah you can just like order poop and shit I think that was a scare though I heard people didn't get like it like they didn't get delivered or whatever oh really what if I wanted an ostrich shit I almost feel like that can't be

get an ostrich they make it shit but um have you guys ever done that prank where you stretch cling film over a toilet yeah and then you shit on it and then you piss on it and you wrap it up into a bag and put it in someone's I thought the point of putting cellophane over a toilet was so that would bounce back in. No, dude, when I was a kid, for April fools, I put syrup on the toilet. Now I don't. Freeper fools, my dad, I put syrup all over the toilet. My dad's ass got stuck and he yelled at me.

That's a true story. True? Yeah, another year of Frayper fools, I took his coffee. This is so mean. I took his coffee and opened the fridge and literally found everything, like put relish and ketchup in there. And then put chocolate syrup back. So it still looked consistently like Hoppy and he spat it out and screamed Obviously my dad was going I was just a little dumbass. I thought it was funny

I used to take my dad's teas and put him back on His golf tees And then I would like meticulously put him back together like a psycho and put him back as a thing And then we open it and pull the fuck it right Wait wait and then we'll ha ha And he couldn't hit you? This is what happened to me, right? You know we watch cartoons when you're younger and you only see that gag where people stick at the legs and trip up a guy. My dad was walking to the room and I fucking did that. He fucking like, like, tripped but he didn't fall. He just like ran really fast forward into the couch and like kick the couch really hard.

He turned around and he was like, what the fuck? And I was like, ah! And I was like really small. He was like, what the fuck are you doing? And he like grabbed me and threw me in my room. It was scary. How small were you? I was like, I was like seven. I tried doing that with the big person once and he stepped on my fucking leg. He killed you. He killed you.

It's a fool, it's a joke on me. He just, like, stepped on my fucking, like, right here. Like, I was like this, and it's right there, and I was just like, ah, fuck. Do you do that prank where you go behind somebody with Pulgiri and pop their head? Okay, I love that one. That was a classic. Like a fucking Zet! You ever go?

Like, if you ever go? What? What do you call those things that, they're like skins born on the outside? Mop, ma'am, ma'am. The Harlequin babies? You ever go to what? a harlequin adult and turn them inside out. There's no such thing as a Harley

adult. You ever make the mobile? What a prank. You don't see a Hullquin fetus guy like in a tie to fucking DMV typing shit on the computer with his fucking no skin the jellybee and eyes calling. They're not jelly peat eyes. You know what kind of eyes they are?

They're the fucking like, they're those like diving goggles that are like red with like the black centers. Yeah, yeah. That's what they are. That's what they are. Harlequin babies are just wearing these things. It's all bullshit. They have these fucking... Are you saying that harlequin babies are conspiracies?

They're not Harlequin people! What if Harlequin babies were just an elaborate rank by someone who has frequent abortions? They just turn their babies inside out, who leave them places for people to discover. We're not talking about Harlequin babies. We're talking about Harlequin people that have survived... They don't live! They survived the... Sometimes they do.

And they grow up to be like these orange weird guys. What? Yeah. You guys are fucking... No! Dude, a Hollywoodin people! US who is a hook of a baby. Yeah, they're all orange.

They look like... They look like glazed donuts. Hara queen Latifah. Halequino matito. After a while... They look like glazed donuts. After a while, their eyes fucking resurface and come back forward.

And then they put these... Look it up. You know those fucking diver glasses. They put those fucking on because they want to remember the good old days. So they put them on with the big black centers because I used to have tons of fun colors. And they screamed...

Yeah. While... That's language they speak. I'm looking this up right now. Well, Google doesn't know anything. They don't know about the serious... You're looking at... You're gonna see a glazed donut walking around.

Okay? Yeah. There you go. It's real. Wait, is it actually real? Yeah, look. Glazed doughnut. They turn back in...

Oh my God. They do. They turn into a glazed donut. I told you. Are they all blind because their eyes pop? Yeah, they're good. They're good. They're fine. They like it. I was like... You guys are all...

They're like... I taste so good. You guys were like, oh, he's talking about babies. I was talking about adults. Can we go back to what Zach said about fucking popping Progerian's heads? You just made me... You just made me realize that people with Progeria, you know, in like Looney Tunes, when someone gets, like, really mad,

and then their head, like, explodes like a volcano? They look like that, like, the frame before their head explodes. Like, as it's inflating? Yeah. Every time I see you go with Progeria, I just want to poke their head and watch, you just kind of deflate a little bit or whatever. Or jiggle and fucking bend in this man. I think that, you know,

you guys made a really good decision by making progerians like the bully target of this podcast because the longest they can be angry at you for is like five or six years I gotta say those Portuguese guys had it coming but then they'll have that Tumblr post ready

and that fucking shine it Tumblr's gonna be on you dude wild they'll have that tumbler post ready but they'll that'll last for fucking ever their accounts are gonna be up those those are gonna be Let them come.

If you're, if you're fucking, if you're seriously going to go on the internet and be like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna argue with this guy called Lyle McDushbag and he's gonna know how bad of a person he is. You're a fucking idiot. Lyle. I know. That's so true. I know. I never thought of it like that.

There's gonna be a pretty appraising. It's like going up to, that's like going up to the people who fucking dobie head. It's like, guys, they're horrible people. Yeah. They be had people. They don't care. They're not going to be like, who I'm old. person a second he's right I didn't mean that they're gonna put that I just wanted that

attached nerve that did to see if it works I don't know it's gonna be a problem I just wanted to take a head off for fun I like I want to see what happened the blood came out it was hell like before no fly that's like well I know those guys of sweaty both times so like 50s June would you fucking progeria with big titties. No. What if they walked up and a push your tities together? It was like, listen. Listen, listen, his question

was stupid. Would you fuck a harlequin adult? With big tities? With big tities. I'd give one a job at Krispy Kreme. It'd be great marketing. Yeah, but would have had nice tithes. It would advertise people. Yeah, it's like, try a progerian. Dude, if you could find, like, if you could find, like, a busty harlequin

human to work at Krispy Kreme, that would be, like, the best, like, sign spinning mascot ever. Good old. Yeah, me too. Bust the Harlequin adult. B. B. Rale. Getting fucked. B. B. After this fucking podcast, all you assholes are going to go to your rooms and masturbate

furiously to play and donut people. I am going to find a Harlequin babe, drunk off her ass, getting railed, and I'm going to be like, Lyle. Harlequin's hot. Hot and harlequin. My favorite porn site. Hot harlequin. I'd run it.

Hot and harlequin. That's a good time. And I'm like, Harlequin's like their skins like fucking flicking off. It's like, really. fucking tinnies are turned inside out of the inverted nipples. Oh my god, like... Wait, see if that's real. This is gone too far.

Wait, this is... No! This is real! This is past the line of no turning back, Corey. Have you ever... I mean, have you ever been... If you were... Was this some fucking Sodom and Gomorrah shit? The second...

The second we talk about masturbating to Harlequins, if we turn back, we'll become pillars of salt. Listen, if you spill Sodom... your right shoulder you throw it over your left shoulder. If you spill salt on a harlequin person, I bet it would do something to their skin. It's a slug, dude. That would have a hard. Cory, holy fuck, you look shocked there. Alright.

Like, I had my harlequin babe pop out of the fucking, like, ice cream, and then I was putting salt on because I usually put salt on my ice cream. She would be handed for the hills. My dad's old place, these Harlequins used to come to eat the vegetable. But then, you said, you said, you salt. He's all the fucking saltwater, dude. He's just going to be salt on the fucking salt on the ice cream. That's not.

This is such like a Corey situation. This is bullshit. I was talking about... Ages ago, ages ago, I was talking about how harlequin people evolved in the lizard... Corey, if you had a baby harlequin, if you had a baby harlequin, you'd feed it salt out of a bottle because you'd think it's the opposite. You'd kill it! No? Yeah, I would nourish it till its titties grow and it can make some fucking life.

You're just like, ew! Why don't you believe it? There was question with babies. Lost it out of eating fucking carrots. That salt comes to death. What are you talking about? I'm just picture these slugs like sliding through the cabin. They stuck with big tinnies.

They had me salted. You're gonna lose your only fan with harlequinism over this. Stop! Or you've ruined it. This podcast is canceled. Dude, I am visualizing some like fucking video game with some guy trying to hit them when they're coming up to get a high score. Harlequin Salter? Harlequin assault

This podcast is brought to you by Krispy Cream When you want that harlequin crisp There's only one place to go Come in right now and get our new Popin Progerian Bites for only 599 plus tax What inspired you? Wow, what inspired you?

Yeah, really Are you being serious right now? Something in that realm, yeah, yeah, I liked it. I'm a really weird relationship with it because I like never wanted to do it until like I got encouraged because I thought it'd be crap at it and I was crap at it and I started out and I made shit that was crap and I was like I know this is crap

and then everyone was like this is really good and I'm like no it's not I'm not even trying and then I was like way your chief series yeah I was like fucking like I like no I just I just did it for fun and I was like that's a good love for you're really weird because I was doing it for fun and I didn't want to like put time or effort into it because I like only wanted to have fun with it like I never did it for fans at the beginning you know and then like I started taking it

seriously later but it was like cinematic art design to it like it should have been more like yeah you think I should have you think I should have fucking hired on a concept artist for my halo machinima's I have a friend that actually like he he's an artist but he was like friends with like one of the guys that did like halo machinemas and these kids kept like commissioning him to do stuff for like they'd be like oh draw a brute infected by the flood for my halo machinima video and so it would be like it would be like the Halo guy would fucking like walk in

somewhere and then his picture would pop up that the kid paid like $120 for Can we talk about that like machinemas that had like these like high class like production values? Oh dude there were Do you remember when there was like whenever digital fear like hit the market there was so many people who tried to imitate that exact

I will say machinima is basically like artistically it's on like the same level as like a puppet show right? Yeah So, like, it can be entertaining, but the second you try to make it, like, super dramatic, it's like, you gotta really question what you're actually doing with your life. There was actually, dude, there was actually, like, a community of, like, machinima elitists. I remember. Yeah, they would, they would make these machinemas that would be, like, they would be, like, text about, like, a guy finding God over, like, sad music and, like, halo footage.

And it's just, like, it's the fucking Spartan soldiers running on, like, Van Hal. There was one I remember where it was like, it was like in Halo 1, like 10 years after Halo 1 came out, and all it was like, it was like the empty first level of Halo 1, and it was just a bunch of shots of like Master Chief like walking through hallways, and it was like supposed to be an homage to 2001 Space Odyssey. These people were like all like super pretentious and like super like shit talky. Like anything that was comedy, they're like, this is such low class art. That's the comic system.

This is my HALO Machinima series. There was a Halo Machinima series, and it tried to take itself so seriously, and I shit you not. It was about, it was like 50,000 years in the future, and an evil regime called Neo-Canada. This is not a joke. This is legitimately what it was called. Neo-Canada tried to, like, yeah, they were trying to, like, enforce, like, a militaristic regime. And every episode was, like, 35 minutes long, and they only made it to, like, episode two, naturally. Me and Zach know this guy who gives his shit, like, all the time.

He makes, like, all this, like, art-y videos that are, like, black and white. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he gives us such shit, but it's the same thing. He's the most, like... Dude, is it that one who did, like, the MSPaint slideshow? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, like, I was working on this forever. Yeah, no, like, he gets, like, he goes out of those... Like, there's so many of these people who go out of their way to say, like, how, like, low-class you are.

And then you check out their shit, and it's always the same. It's always black and white, like, crap. There's a guy in every kind of field where it's, like, animation. It's like, dude, it's animation. But there's just, like, class, people are like, you do comedy. Oh, look at you. And you click their videos, and it's like a blue or black and white thing of an old lady in New York. Where the feed you get it.

She dies. It's like, oh, wow. It's got, like, that scratchy animation style, like, no fucking line. It's the same way where, like, like, comedy is subjected. It's animated, like, on sixes. And it's, like, the last shot is her, like, fucking turning into a blob in the distance. Yeah, the leaves blow. It's like created by.

Shape tweening into the sky. Yeah. That Cal art style, which is fine. I don't give a fuck. But it's like... But it's like... What pisses me off is if you clearly make a video that is something and it's just like, listen, okay, my sense of humor has been

refined over the years. I watch Broadway. I watch, you know, I watch like these arts films. I know about direction. It's like in you. You don't understand directing. I think the difference is like... And then they direct you to like all these resources. I mean, it's one thing if you're doing it in film.

or even even I guess technically animation I guess you could if you go to a video with somebody like could if somebody's the punchline is guess what they fart and then they're like listen okay I feel affected that you haven't like home to your comedy skills I'm just saying specifically I'm talking specifically in the medium of puppet shows in Halo if you want to be a pretentious person in the realm of puppet shows and halo and you think your puppet shows and halo are the deepest finest art that's going to get you into like a Hollywood studio. What if he walks into Hollywood studio headquarters with his fucking laptop in hand,

slams on the desk, spins it around, he's like... It says, Dr. Hollywood, president of Hollywood, I'd like myself a movie. And Dr. Hollywood says, one movie coming right up. Only for the five of the world. And then Roger Ebert rises from the grave to give it his final two thumbs up. Because he made a serious thing about

Halo. It's all coming together. And you see like, you see like previews of it? I don't know if any of them are still around. I'm like morbidly the years now. I think it died off a while ago. I think, I think a lot of them like graduated from college in film and finally got their McDonald's job. Because I can appreciate arts films and I can appreciate that kind of stuff. But I hate when people are like, oh, it's a new style.

So it's pretentious or it's trying something. It's pretentious if the person that made it was like, you know, they wanted it to be pretentious. You could just tell if the director's movie. Yeah, you can tell if it's a pretentious movie. Yeah. Like, um, I don't know if you saw the movie Birdman. Did you see that? Did you not like it?

I loved it. I thought it was really good. I've heard good things about it, but I haven't seen it. Everyone rails on its fucking direction. They're like, oh, it's shot, like one shot. It's so pretentious. It's a fucking art movie because it's a fucking Broadway play. It's like, it wouldn't work any other way.

If you look at the way the style is, it's theater. It's very movie. It's very fucking actiony. And the people have to, like, be moving. and the fucking sound is like drums and shit, but that's the like get you pumped. Like, he's like, man, I wonder what's gonna happen next. And it fucking works.

It's really well-directed. And people are, it's a potential start film. It's like, it's not. It really isn't. It was good. You know what? It's fucking like pretentious. It's when you see like a tear going sound in someone's eyes

and it turns into a fucking black water and then someone falls into the black water and then you find out it was a fucking metaphor for taking a shit. That is pretentious. shits are very pretentious, Corey I oft take a shit and I go I feel like I'm very important Yeah

I want to take a blackaway photo of this Like I know what pretentious is You see someone do a style Yo It's not pretentiousism Serious question Has anyone ever made like an Instagram Where they take pictures of their shit

The same way that white girls Take pictures of their food That's a good idea It's a really good idea Guys make rate my poop Instagram edition No, it's not like rating their poop. It's like, oh my God, look, and you put like...

Yeah. Like the fucking, like... Plate it up next to, like, some, like, fucking arugula and shit. Yeah, yeah, this little fucking video. You, like... You, like, opacify it into, like, pictures of, like, people walking their dog. Get, like, the fucking cups with the French fries, and I'm like, I'm at a diner. How would I have a poop on the plate?

What would you do if somebody... If somebody made a movie with a green screened a turd to be, like us? Like, normal people. Us? Yeah. Us specifically? or us humans? You're saying, this world exists where turds roll and shit people out?

Corey, do you really consider yourself one of us still? No. What? They take the green screen a turd, they enhance the size, and they put it in a movie. They make him a humble family man. What does he do? What's his job? It's shaking back and forth on a stick. Oh.

How does that generate revenue? You just made Zach leave, Corey. Good job. Zach has to go shit. myself. He's spraying turns right now. He's just giving my approval. Okay. A big

shit is on a stick and it's being shook back and forth. He's a family man. He's a family. It's one of those new happy Madison Adam Sandler productions. He's a big shit. I'm just trying to get your fucking line of thinking here. He's a big shit. Big old turd. He's on a stick. On a stick. He's shaking back and forth.

Okay? This is his job according to you. His ears hang low. Who pays him for this? And Why does it make them money? Why is this a viable business model? What in your mind? It's a genius idea. Could you imagine a fucking producer?

And then like the title of the movie is just a bunch of nursery rhymes? I am, you are now, you are now the marketing team for this product for giant man shit being shooking around on a stick every which way. How do you spin it? How do you get customers? What are you selling them, Corey? He's a turid. He's a turd in love. He wants it. It's like a new variant of her.

It's like his girl's sitting in bed. He's like, I love you. She's like, we can't be together and he kisses her. Yes, but how does he make money? How does he buy the bed to kiss her in? He's poop. He's poop. What the fuck? How does he make money?

You said his job! That's the problem. That's where the problem comes in. Is that the conflict of the movie? Yeah. The conflict is he's a stinky old turn that it's going to have petrifying out. He's a stinky old turn that it's going to petrify. soon. He does this thing. He goes

to work. He has to find his love before his turdy body dries out. He does this thing every day as a job. Yes. Already still on the fucking shit stick. Zach, listen, this is what it is. He's a turd. He was God's first turd.

Laid from the heavens. He's like Go, my son. He's trying out something new. But the turd, it's like a frosty snowman scenario. The turd's going to dry out. What's the hat? What's the hat in the situation? The hat is God. Is the hat the stick? Is that why he's on the stick? No, this thing is, so nobody has, nobody wants

to hold the stick in it. God had a big fucking log and he shoved the stick in it, and it came to like, fuck you. No, you didn't even hear me. So there's a big turn. The stick is fucking whole, you're gonna hold shit. If he has shit, he might as well grab it. It's a fucking movie, you nitwit. It's in front of a great screen. You just know

it's out of fucking stick. Okay, Corey. Corey. Put it on a string. Put it on this, you know. All right, that's like the point, Sack. The point is, he just wants to find true love. before he petrify- and does he love's first kiss?

Yeah, true loves for the What happens when somebody kisses the fucking tar? What happens? It's still a shit It turns into a real boy It turns into a real turn It turns to a real boy With a fucking stick in the

He dies, he's a pailed It's a stick and someone can hold in front of the fucking great screen Could you imagine Could you imagine a person You just know there's a fucking stick there No could you imagine a shit That like was kissed

He just wants to be a fucking screen family, man. He goes to the girl's house. He's like... I thought he's a boy. Shut up. He's like, hey, he's like, hey, I love your potato. She's like, like, the dad's like, I don't talk to shit. Get out of my house. The dad's like, the dad's conflicted. No. I thought you're caught in war.

He's upset because she was going to date. The guy next door who was a piano expert because he's a piano teacher. And he's like, you'll never be like him. Does he a cock on a stick? No. Why? Why you keep going back to sticks? You want to show something up your ass? Is that what you're fucking trying to get to?

Corey, I would love to live in your fucking hair. for like a day. But here's a day. And then it would be totally worth the like following 18 years of therapy to get it, you know, out of my palate. But like... Here is the... This is it. Okay.

The turd is on a stick. Alright, ready? Wait, it's fucking jumped on it. Hey, shut up. It's on a stick because it's in front of a green screen. You don't see a fucking stick. It's just opified into it. Oh, it's that part of the story.

Opofied. What's opified? What the hell? Ophified. What are you talking about, Corey? So this... This turd just wants to find...

True love. This turn to specify true love, daddy's approval, and to not be petrified before fucking Winner's moon. Tell us what Opelify mean. I don't know. You used to use a word fucking... Use the SpongeBob Word Enhacer thing. This conversation is making all of us dumber.

Can we please talk about something else? What are we even talking about? The fucking long hair toad. Were we talking about... You were talking about... You were a fan of you guys, is he? Are you right. we're talking about? We were talking about

how Corey likes to... I don't know. Dick? Lyle. Yeah. So let's talk about you since you're a guest. Hell, Al, you were supposed to be... Sometimes I do this, I don't even fucking realize I'm doing it. Like, have this, like, guerrillaisms

where I fucking, like, throw my arm over my head and fucking grab the other side of my face. I did that before. We all have... I do that a lot. Yeah. What's it like, what's it like being here on the East Coast with the fucking stuff everywhere? You do this?

It's fucking cold and for fat people. Yeah. You do this? You're a real. Can I do this? It's interesting. I've never thought of doing that. I always like,

if you know, it's just like really comfortable to have my arm behind my head. I don't know why. Yeah. I don't usually like hook it or, I don't like usually grab myself. Anyway,

East Coast, East Coast is great. I wouldn't live here, though. What are the biggest comparisons? Because we've lived here for a while. Biggest comparisons. What's, okay,

what's better or what's worse compared to where you live? Weather is better where I live. Oh, yeah. That's fair. There is, there's this kind of quality out here where shit's always like kind of far away. Like even in your

cities, shit's always generally like super far away. Well, there's, we don't live directly in Philadelphia City though. Oh, that's a little bit true. But I mean, I don't live directly in L.A. either. And there's three 7-Elevens within walking distance. You don't know, any notice? For example.

What? Is like the huge abundance of fucking like, what's that one like nut that they put in fucking everything? nut? I don't know. It's not a nut. It's like a, it's like, I think it's a fruit or a type of thing, nut.

I can't. Avocados? Yes. We grow them. They're in California. They're in everything. We grow them in California and we're like proud. We're like proud of avocado.

I fucking hate avocados too. They're like tofu to me. They just don't have a flavor. Everybody like, avocados and fucking in and out are two things that Californians always go off about. You don't like in and out. You like in and out? Dude, in and out has a secret menu. I don't give you shit

last time we were at Inanah Dude it was cold Dude I had a dang old monster I was with you I was with you There are slices of roast beef That are thicker than In and Out burgers For our people who are Europe

Or places who are people who in the U.S. Who don't know what it is I like Inan Out For us In and Out is a shitty fucking traffic choke point Of a restaurant It is that

With a cultish following Of idiot hipsters That fucking go there And they're like In In In In Out's so good They pay like $8 for a hamburger that's, okay, you know your McDonald's like standard hamburger? Imagine that, but about like half as thick. And that's an in-and-out hamburger.

They'll put a vertical slice of onion twice the size of your fucking hamburger. The point of an out burger. And then they put like some dressing on it and it's like, ooh, this is fucking hamburger. The point of an in-and-out burger is to not fucking taste the burger? There's a bunch of hidden fucking things on the menu. Oh, yeah, you could get it animal style. You can get fucking... There's like a hundred fucking things.

Yeah, the... Also, the point... Yeah, the point of in and out is to go there and order shit that isn't on the menu because everything on the menu is cracking. Let's do it is. It's a tourist attraction.

Yeah, you're like... It is. It's a tourist attraction. It's a tourist attraction, but Californians don't get over it. It's coming here. I'm so sorry for you. It's awful.

It's shitty. It's good. I have one, like, next to my house. So, on a day-to-day basis, anytime I get in the car, that fucking in a... and out adds like 10 minutes to my trip. Just because any time I have to drive past it to get to the freeway, I think this...

You think I'm jaded? No, no. Is that what you're saying? You think I'm jaded? I feel like this opinion more derives to the fact that in and out causes traffic jams within a block of your house. So exactly what I said. You said your biases. Yeah.

Okay. Well, maybe I... I do get again because... I would be able... There's no in and out mass guy. I have to say... No, little burger john. Little Burger John?

Yeah, they've all recommended A&A. He grew up with a guy who was from California. He said Anna was the best place supper. What I had in... The first time, I was underwhelmed. It wasn't bad. It's not... I wouldn't go so far as to say it's bad.

I wouldn't say it's amazing. But I haven't had... I still think Wendizze is the best best. They're fucking... Their fucking French fries are like cafeteria tater-tot, like, squiggly fries. I thought... I thought A&O was great, but I only eat it like a few times.

I think Sonic has the best fries. I've been there three times. McDonald's has the... McDonald's has the best fries. I don't go fuck what anyone says. I will, I actually will contend that McDonald's has a really good fries. McDonald's fries are fucking... You guys, you guys don't have like Carl's Jr. out here, right?

No. That's Hardy. Is it called Hardys out here? You don't have a Hardee's in here? But is it... I have a big of one here, but I know we don't have a Taco Bell where we live really. You don't have Taco Bell? I went to Taco Bell recently when I went back home. Yeah, it sucked.

Yeah, I mean, this is fucking dog food tacos, but they're okay. I still really... I didn't like it. But anyway, yeah, in and out's fucking... garbage. Anyway, we're comparing East Coast and West Coast. Wait, actually, people. What I did like from Taco Bell, though, was there

like Dorito Taco Things. I thought that was really good and interesting. You are going to die of something eventually, probably nutrition-related. Like a rotten piece of meat? He's like, oh, I love their Dorito tacos. Like, that isn't the most unhealthy thing I've ever heard in my entire life.

I ate, like, one over the course of once. Anyway, people, East Coast versus West Coast. over the course of once that's like a hundred percent of the time that you did that holy shit that's true you really need to stop that this East Coast did you know you die one time in your life holy fuck did you know you officially die a hundred percent of you 100 percent of your death consists of you dying did you know well no realistically

realistically how many times do you think you blink shut the fuck up people East Coast versus West Coast I will say you didn't even give me a East Coast people on the whole are probably Probably Probably nicer Dude, but Yeah, I would use some of the most smugged people

On the fucking plane ride home And getting on the plane California has assholes Dushians But I will say I will say Concentrated assholes and Dushians That's their fucking turn

California There is no like one California stereotype There are stereotypes right But there's so So many different kinds of people Because there's so many people that are there for completely different reasons. That said, on the whole, I feel like Californians are more likely to be assholes. Um, but they never interact with you.

We should also make your California is fucking huge though. Yeah, they're assholes that are like constantly around other assholes. So they try to avoid human interaction. And I like that. California is big. I don't care if they're assholes as long as I don't have to fucking deal with them. As long as they want to be out of my face and away from me. Is California really that big though?

As soon as possible, like, I like that. Is it like half desert? California is, I think, one of the biggest states. It's, like, half desert? Population-wise, it is definitely. Both size and a population, I think it's one of the biggest. Yeah, but it is one of the biggest. Actually, a majority...

Alaska, Texas, and California, I think. A majority of California is unpopulated because it's a huge state. Dude, of course everyone goes to California. Everyone wants to make it big. Everyone wants to live the dream. Like, a big majority of the population is... What's that one beach place? Beach Place.

It's like this famous... Beach in California. There's a lot of Venice? Venice. Yeah, yeah. I always pictured Venice Beach when I went there, it's kind of like that. Do you remember in Pinocchio where all the kids go that place where they smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol? The circus thing?

Yeah, with all the like... It is kind of... Yeah, I see why you would say that. It's a bunch of teenagers who were smoking and drinking and they're all fucking young as shit in California. In Venice Beach. Oh yeah. buy a weed license for like $100. That's the first thing I thought.

I thought of the Pinocchio kids who were smoking it and turning into don't get don't to places to get fucked because that's what they did. I could see how... I don't agree with you, but I could see how you would think that. I think of California. Think of like scary shit.

It's scary homeless people. Like that fucking guy who ran over the Oculus Rift Creator, he was just on the street having a nice walking and then he got fucking ran over. They're not going to stop. The Oculus Rift Rift Creator guy got ran over. He got killed. He got fucking right over in a drive bottle, or like, there was a cop chase in a car, and he just got ran over.

What the fuck? He's dead. There's a bunch of scary homeless people, too. We were visiting California a while ago. That dude, the fucking cop killer was over there was. Yeah, we were watching that live. It was fucking crazy. Oh, yeah, that was weird. I was honestly under the impression that years from now would become its own fucking movie. We're like, phenomenal.

We're eating dinner at a restaurant. It's like, oh yeah, the guy's been burned alive in a cabin like two minutes ago. We're like, what the fuck? We're eating dinner. That doesn't happen every supper in California. Every day I was in California, twice a month. A fucking helicopter would have fallen and looking for someone.

There's a lot of people to get lost sometimes. The weird thing about California to me is like... The scary homeless people. But also, there's a really nice neighborhood within two minutes of a really bad one. Yeah. It goes from good to bad really fast. That's very true.

Especially in L.A. Especially in L.A. You're like in the fucking hills and there's like all these nice pull. palm trees and everything and then you go like two blocks and all of a sudden you're like straight up in the center of the USA yeah it's really weird you see it has the most population because like it's the place everyone knows it's like oh my favorite my favorite uh my favorite actor um haley joe osman lives in why you keep this is like the full time you bought it some two weeks like him because his face is fucking tiny is not it corey

yeah corey before the podcast corin's like let's let's do a let's do a topic of small-based actors The only way, the only guy The only name is fucking Haley Joel Osmond from the 6th. Dude, there's others. All right. Fucking sleepy cabin members. I want you to get a bunch of pictures and post it on a post

in a subreddit of baby face actors. And guess what? Heald Joel Osmond. What do you, would you say? What, Michael Sarah? Michael Sarah. Kind of. Here's a much dash. No.

Let's all think of one. Let's all think of one. Michael Sarah looks more like a bush baby than a human baby. You go. Do you go to the fucking babyface association, started by Haley Joe Osmond so we can finally relate to people. Corey! And get all the other baby faces. Who's your favorite baby face actor?

The only one exists is fucking... Corey, I mean, Zach, think of one right now. Think of a boy. Think of a baby. Who's the guy from home alone? Yeah, uh... He looks like a god fucking ghost, Corey. He looks a gallop dude.

No, no. What's that one from Star Wars? The one from Star Wars. The one from Star Wars. It's only because the one picture was just sprung to his chest. The one from Star Wars, who everybody hates. And he got made fun of in high school, and then beatings his name was Babyface. Yeah!

He has a Babyface. Babyface McGee. What? Babyface McGee. Oh, yeah, that was him. But, um... Babyface McGee. Fuck him.

But he came from Star Wars. He had baby shits, too. I don't care. I don't care. My point was... Listen, he made a baby shit, and then he put the shit on a stick and shook it for a job, and then it tried to find true love. Don't forget the great screen. Baby faces.

Paul Rudd, I'm looking at you, boy. Paul Rod's not a baby face. He's got a baby. He's got a cute little... He's got a cute little dimples. Little baby face, Paul Rudd. He's got... I can see Paul Rudd playing a baby.

You, Paul Rudd play baby, anyway. I'll turn it off. I mean, no question. Not even thinking about it, Corey. That guy, that guy... If he was your baby outfit. Paul Rudd's a baby face. You know the guy from, like, the main...

The main guy from Hot Fuzz. Oh, the... Simon Peg? Or the Frost. Which one? The Simon Peg, the skinnier one. Yeah. He kind of looks like. like a baby. If he shaves his

fucking orange beard. He's slightly balding though so it kind of takes away from though. Babies don't have much hair. Their baldness adds to it I think. Seth. We want to talk about a baby face? Why don't you look at the fucking mirror? Oh, fuck you! Oh! Oh! You know, Biddy. You know,

Harmonize with me, Chris. I saw him from Kekin's their baby shits. Fuck you. I saw a fucking bikin. You're fucking harmonized me to sell because I try. You can't even fucking poop right. You gotta stick a straw on your butt And then suck him before he's sticking in your ass So the fucking turns fly out for the pressure

Because I'm not up fucking big with you Yeah, they're still going Yeah, listen, Zach you and me You never told you one Zach, you would be fucking dork off right now You must such a dork Dude You look like a fucking dork

Your fucking dorkish mom Spit out dwebs And you accidentally turn into a fucking dork Your dad started sucking your dick And look at you with Kilar's face And he was like, you are such a dweep And fucking flip your tie up your face And called you

You were dorkville, USA, fucking starring in Dork Academy, and you fucking use your dork in your science experiment, and guess what it was? A fucking picture of you instead of Ocalfo! You were born in 1990, Dork. You went to Dork High, and you got fucked by Dorks and Dorkettes. You had to you guys stick a Dork singer-bel-Lose. And time!

Time! The Dork-off, ladies and gentlemen, has concluded. We'll have an official Dork-Off next time, okay? I know for the title of Mindy in the dork and Mindy scream down fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, boy, dork and stide Zach, I'm sorry you have to play dork and dork and mendy

Corey, congratulations congratulations Corey, you've won the title of Mindy no no no no no you wanted to be dork? Listen, you wanted to be dork and not mindy? I'm trying to fucking dork up here and this B Dude, if you're dork and dork and Mindy You have a dark future ahead of you

Cory, I hope you know that I just want to stop for a second If you ever calling one a bee again You're out of this podcast Oh seriously, this is a fucking joke That's not funny Look there's a cultural song of my people We're probably gonna have to cut that out now

You realize that There's a cultural song of my people By black eyed peas called I am a B Wait, can I? Hold on My rich culture Can I apologize? Yeah, okay Sorry to the stupid fucking bees out there

Corey! Get out of! Cory! Get out! Podcast is over. Podcast is canceled. This has been the Harlequin Progerian cast. Please tune in next week for extra glazed donut-style people.

Amen. For more busty halloclets. Woof! I've been. Chris? You've been. Lyle. You've been.

You've been. Busty holo-liquid pita. Thank you. Good night.