SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 21 - [Potato Chips]

Episode Date: April 3, 2015

The SleepyCast gang discusses everyone's favorite snack food, POTATO CHIPS! AKA, CRISPS! What's your favorite flavor? This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/ricepiratenewgrounds) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/Spazkidin3d) Niall (www.youtube.com/Cryburgers) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Paul Raymond, John Erlinger, Creeps McPasta, John Toomey, k0xfilter, skooks, Sonny Canchola, Dim, Hayward Cole, Denis DeLong, Jace Baker, Duncan Neilson, Jacob Miller, Shane Danells, Ryan Pagonis, Trevor Wood, Brian Adam +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

God sleep on your pillow. May he hold you in the hollow of his hand. May the roads ride with you fair weather to your heels. May the wind be ever at your back. And may you be a long time in heaven before the devil knows your car. There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forest. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin, it's a bunch of guys. He's a bunch bullshit or... Welcome, boys and girls, to the latest sleepy cast. Hey!

Hey! Here we've got your host, Stamper TV. Hey! There it is. Corey Spaz Kid. Oh! And Nile. Hey!

I'm Nile. Do you have another name? Hey. Is it like Cryburger? Yeah, I gotta change that though. I don't want to promote any Cryburger's ship because that is terrible. It always makes you choose that name, yeah. I don't have a terrible.

How do you choose it? It's the same way you, well, you kind of choose your own ones. Because when I was younger, I just made like a trolling account. Oh, yeah, like a French... Oh, like a... Hey, have a cryburger and some French fries. No, there was no... There was no...

There was no like, like, Like, um, my bitching and moaning I just, it's just something that popped into my head in like a second I didn't even think about it. I just wrote it down. I don't think it's the word. I don't think it's a bad I don't like it. I cringe. Do you know what my trolling name was? It was Shane reaction. Oh, I remember that, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good.

You guys may have not known this, but Mick is half Chinese, half Irish, right? Yeah. Rice? Yeah. Pirate. Yeah. Right, so rice Chinese, pirate steal software. Nick! Well, no, not a Somaliian pirate. Why didn't you say Irish though? What did that have to be pirates? with the pirate accident.

It's kind of the same as the Irish. I suppose, yeah. I don't know. Was that not intentional? What was your trolling account name? My trolling account? Yeah. I never made a troll account.

You fucking... Are trolling a thing? Yeah, I made one when I was young. Like, this was about 10 years ago. That's what you signed up for an extra account to fuck with people? Yeah, I was 14. Be a man. If you were...

Nobody... I was 14. I was 14. Is that. Anyone born after... Anyone born in 1990 or later? It's a 2000 thing. You wouldn't get it.

Exactly. If you were born in this. the 80s, you don't even know what the fucking shit you wouldn't do it because guess what? When you have a problem with someone you fucking walk right up to him, you look him dead in the eye and you fucking say your problem. You don't create some alternate account using some fake-ass information so you can

sit behind your little shield and throw potatoes of people. Here's my Nile account on the side. You're a faggot. I got you. And then I pay my power bill. Yeah, and then you go home and you think about how awesome you burn somebody with a name they never even heard of her. That's quite accurate, except my mom

paid my power bill for me. That's... While people are slamming on your fucking door to steal your couch and fucking repo your shit. No. Because you're a horrible person. Corey has a French background. And you know, some French people are actually quite religious. Did you know that, sniper? I did, but I thought the Irish...

The world was religious. The world is, you know... The Irish? You know what, what is the percentage of people that are religious? Because I grew up thinking that a lot more people were atheists than... I always felt like there was kind of... I would say most people are religious. That's weird to me.

Everyone's born into religion. And then you kind of like... your choices as you grow up deciding if you want to stick with it or move on. We're fake... Except if you're from the Middle East where if you try to decide to move on, you get your head... Yeah, let's not talk about that. Irish people are primarily Catholic, right? Primarily Catholic.

Yeah, well, they all pretend they're Catholic, but no one's really religious. They all just say they are because they like go to Mass and they all meet each other. Go into that. Hold on. You said they pretend they are. So explain that more. They don't really believe in God. Like you don't have the Bible beaters like you have here. You have the guys who just kind of go to church on Sundays. Sundays, just so the rest of the neighborhood will see them at church and be like, okay.

Bible thumpers. Is that what it is called? Yeah, not Bible beaters. We don't beat Bibles. They're not like quite trash wives. The alliteration. The alliteration kind of came out with Bible beater. I think I said, I mean, realistically. I think you should get rid of Thumper and change it. Actually, yeah, that's a good now because it's like

you beat off to the Bible. Yeah, yeah. There's multiple meanings. Your buttons. Right. You can't say that. It's like a cake. Bible beating on your movies. Okay, first of all, if you were beating off to the Bible. Bible, God would welcome that. Everything else is off limits. He's like, hey, you're beating off to the passage I wrote.

Two thumbs up. But in that same passage, God didn't write the Bible. He screamed over a crowd of people. He's like, hey, write that shit in it. Okay, put this down now. In that same bucket, it says, thou shall not spill thy seed upon thine ground. It also says, thou shalt not. It doesn't say thine Bible, though. It also says, in the Bible, That's a good point. Thou shalt feed the babies to the crocodiles to appease the garden of youth. What? What?

Is this something your mom told you? That's the first Bible. That's the first Bible. The first Bible. There is like 16 renditions of the Bible. Yeah. And the one that you're talking about has the fucking crocodiles and the pitfall man.

How can you believe in a faith that has been altered throughout time? In the Bible, there was a passage where it said. Changes. 40 kids made fun of a bald man a bald man guys making stamper

and the god came down from the heavens and he said he was pretty kind of ticked off at that so he sent a big... He was a little riled up

and he sent a big bear out and he slaughtered all the fours no you're a fucking liar that's a passage in the Bible that's a holy Bible a big bear or a big bear no big gay bear bear

and just slaughtered all the kids. Now, was the bear successful? That's the question. Yeah, no, all 40 of those kids got fucked. You know what I find fascinating? I love fiction. It's great. Do you know what I find fascinating

with the whole Bible thing and people who like follow it? It's like, the Bible is true. It's fact. It was written by the higher-ups. I don't think you'll ever meet somebody that says the Bible is true. No, that's not true.

That's not true. There are some people. My mom has actually converted and she's like, I believe everything in the Bible is true. And I'm like, I've never met anybody in my life that took the Bible as well.

word. If anything, they push it to the back of their head and they believe in God. Yeah, but the Bible... No, the Bible. I feel like most people are like... No, no, I think most people do... They take it with a grain assault. However, they... Most people see it as a handbook on how to be a good person, but other people... Basically, yeah. Yeah, but other people look at it as

being like the truth. It's like, Adam and Eve really did talk to a spooky snake who ate the golden apple and brought... You ever read those stories? Wait, wait, Golden apple, a spooky snake? The same fucking thing. It's the same story. Okay, so the new Pope, um, I actually came out and said that

the Bible is not supposed to be taken literally. Refresh my memory. The new Pope. Pope. How many popes have we had? Pope number four. Pope Paul. I think we have as many popes as we have like Super Bowls. So it's like Pope 40 or 50 right now. Super Popes.

Yeah. Joe, you tuning into the Super Pope? Super Pope podcast with the Pope in the Vatican City. Let's fade up their names too. It's like, I'm Pope double X. Yeah. That's Pope 20. Double X V. I. Yeah.

No, so, yeah, so this new Pope. They have a pop center in their fucking 20s or 30s. What's the... No, they have to be old men. Yeah, you have to be like... No-uh. That can't be a prerequisite.

What's the actual... No, you have to meet a certain quota of kids. You have to be born with a timeline. That's kind of physically impossible. Is it like Shaolin where you have to learn for a long time? And the only way you could be a pope is if you're naturally like a million fucking years old because you went through it all? So basically what happens is the popes, like all the potential popes, they all get into a

house. When one pope fucking croaks and dies What if I love God and Jesus so much but I'm like 30 I can't be a poor No you gotta be a bishop and working away on The Game of Thrones All of the potential Popes gather together

They all go into a house and I have to be so old That nobody would ever question me Bingo! No I get it because you never fuck with old people It's like oh he's an adorable old grandpa Even though the last one was like I am poverty

You look fucking kind of like Yeah he's like I was like I would thought that popes were kind of like It's like a big con, what do you call? Congregation. Yeah. Big congregation, like a big frat house.

So wait. All there's like lots of fat house. They were backwards caps that they bought it. No, no, no, no, no. They do gospel things. Like Beta Sigma Popo? No, like Bob for Apples and Wine and fucking, like, I don't know.

What other crazy like Christian parties? Like you see all these like, that's another thing too. Like in general, like you see Christians how wacky Christians are. And anytime you see a Christian who's crazy. It's like this like really like socially awkward person who's trying to be hip. You know what I'm talking about? No, I do. What do you think of Christian like frat?

I'm gonna stop you right there. This podcast is sponsored by Christianmingle.com. We're not. Is Christianmingle.com actually cool? Oh, that's a real thing. Yeah. There's also black people meet.com. Okay, well, that has nothing to do with religion.

Yeah, that's cool. I know, but it's a group of people. It's like a single way. I don't know. It's kind of racist. But yeah, but there's a lot of like black sites that you can hook up with black, like the black community. You have to be black those timbers, sorry.

No, you don't. Because black girls love white guys, so I'm in there. Do they have like a black and... Oh, come on, poor black guys. Do they have like a black and white.com, like black girls looking... Black guys got white girls. Whatever, black guys like white girls too? That's black's on blue.

I'm not welcome here? No, yeah. That's fucking racist. Black guys like white girls. Black girls like white guys. Who likes black guys? Black girls and white girls. White girls like black guys.

What I was saying was, I'm pretty sure that nobody. in my direct life, you guys included, you're not religious anymore, but did you grow up religious? Yes. I grew up as a Catholic, but I didn't really care. Me being raised, basically came down

to me going to church, and I went to church, and my idea of church was, yes, I am going to have Oreo cookies and chocolate chip, what do you call those, like, those like, Keebler elf cookies. Chocolate chip, Keebler elf cookies.

Fudge Stripe? Yeah, yeah. All sorts of chocolate chip cookies while I watched Veggie Tales. That was my idea of going to church. And I'm like, fuck, yeah, I want to go to church. But I wasn't like that. I was like, freak, yeah, I want to go to church. You got you with the cookies.

Yeah, they did. And then, like, you want to go experience real church? Like a priest comes down and you're like, yeah, they go upstairs. And they're like reading from fucking passages and stuff. I'm like, I don't want to read a book. I want the cookies. I want the cookies. Exactly.

And then you like throw a hissy thing. You can't throw a hissie thing. fit in like God's house. But after a while, like, I started upgrading and the older you got, you couldn't keep eating the cookies. They were changing them to crackers, you're like, but where's my cookies? So it was slowly changing

over time to a point where it just changed where I wasn't getting cookies anymore. Instead I was getting pamphlets from like a book and stuff. And I'm like, this is school. I don't want to go anymore. They were giving you like Jesus Scantrons and shit. Yeah, yeah. We had to do coloring books instead of eat cookies about Jesus.

We had this priest called Father Hugh who kissed everyone's mom on the mouth. Nile, did you have... Yeah. I'm sure he was doing it for God. I'm sure. I don't know. When you did Catholic Communion, did you ever do

like Ash Wednesday? Yeah. When you did communion, did they give you wine or grape juice? No, they didn't give us shit. They just gave us the bread. Did you do communion? Yeah, but when you do your communion... You went up and bowed down and they put a cracker on your tongue. You're eight years old. You go out and everyone's like,

Pia yes And they're all holding candles And we're walking toward Jesus, this sounds kind of creepy When you think back But we all sat around the altar And then the priest is like And the power of Christ compels you

And then you're like amen Oh wait no, that's the fucking That's the exorcists No way You would have to be The best at that point You're mixing your child With the exorcist

He says No he says the body of Christ He goes We held down Like a cross over your head It was the body of Christ And some people choose to be To put their hands out

Like one hand under the other To get it And some people would... I noticed a correlation between the people who stuck their tongues out, and the people end up being sluts later on. But some people stuck their tongue out, and they accepted the bread in their mouth, like straight in their mouth.

Some people just took it on their hands. And those who have sinned, the fucking cracker, burn their tongue? Yeah, yeah, their head just fucking melts off people. No, their fucking tongues burned. They took it in their hand versus taking... This is actually kind of fascinating, you know. So you can pick which one you want to do. And when all the kids...

If you wanted to sin, you put it in your hand... Do you think the priest is up there like he's doing a panel at a convention? He's like, oh, God, I hope I don't get a whole lot of tongue people. That priest is a rock star on Sundays. But we all stood around the altar, and we had sponsors, like our aunties, our uncles, our parents, or whatever, brother, sisters. And if they're of age, they get to, I think they get to sip the wine. But we don't. We just got the fucking cardboard. You get some salty-ass cardboard cracker.

They don't give you anything to wash it down? Yeah, no, they just gave us that. And we're like, yeah. No, were you a tongue person or a hand person? What do you think? He's an ass person. He's turned around and spread his cheeks. like you grabbed it and you fucking put in your hand and you're like no I do that was

a little tongue out and got the cracker on and then he used to wink it girl but he's like what do you mean is not true it's just for it's just for impressions but what you do you leave it leave it on your tongue if you chew you're going to hell if you open your mouth you're going to hell if you yeah that's what yeah if you chew or open your mouth or talk or whatever when it's still in your mouth you go to hell you go to hell you go to hell you can't cough that is no you're going to hell straight to hell no so you better to have a cold god dude dude you fucking after church you went home jerked off to beastiality porn.

You're going to hell. Exactly. Make how you ate the fucking cracker. Wasn't quite as beatstiology porn, but yeah, pretty much. Like, I didn't care. That's what I don't understand. It's like, well, let's be strict about things you can't do. Yeah, everyone's so fucking good on Sunday.

And then they go home and do that most heinous shit. It's like, you know, I actually think that the danger in this whole, like, in the confession and whatnot, it almost seemed like the whole idea was that you could do anything that God could forgive you. So essentially, it was like all these people, you know, they do these terrible things. But at the end of the day, they knew that they could just go to confession and then say Hail Mary. Did you guys go to confession? Yeah.

So, wait. So, Mick, you grew up in... I grew up in a Buddhist household, but my grandmother... You're so Chinese? No, but my grandmother was Christian, but I never knew. Because she would, every single day, like... Yeah, but they don't have confessionals, though. No, no, no.

But Nile, you had confession booths. So when you're 8 years old, you go and get your first communion, and that's what I was talking about. And then when you're about 12, you have your first confession. and then you're like, everyone just goes That's mandatory? Yes, yeah Wow, so you go I thought you did it when you were feeling bad

So no I know So you go, I'm sorry for punching my sister in the face I'm sorry, like that's the one that everyone had to say hitting my brothers and sisters Oh my God, it's like Netflix for priests They're just waiting for it They're like oh yeah

I'm gonna hear some juicy fucking gossip here Could you imagine like a little kid coming in? Yeah yeah no imagine having 30 kids going I'm sorry for punching my sister I'm sorry for it's like I'm sorry for I'm sorry for raping my grandma or something. Yeah, or something.

It's like, I'm sorry for sneaking looks at my mom's girl coming. Like a little girl comes in what she wasn't looking. The priest is just like, he doesn't know what to think. And he's like, oh, and there was that one time. Oh, he knows what to think. Yeah. He's fucking, like, he's, like, whatever.

He's sighing of breath of fresh hair. That was such as, you're on your fucking period. They're not allowed to masturbate. They're not allowed to masturbate. They're not allowed to masturbate. You don't fucking know that. It's a confession. No.

He could be like this, peer it over with this fucking big shawl of me. No, dude. Father, what's going on over there? It doesn't matter. It's like, I'm beating my Bible. Father's breathing. Father's breathing over your fucking, like, confessional.

He's stumping his Bible. No, so basically, like, you know what told me I'm not allowed to masturbate, my friend? There's also... Role broken. There's also a hypothesis. What happens if a priest has a wet dream? I'm sure that's fine.

I'm sure that's fine. He wakes up, and he's like, oh, God, I'm so sorry. Yeah, well, actually, no, that wouldn't be fine because that's lust in their head. That means lust exists in their head. Yeah, no, but your body is a sin. It's not lust is, no, it's not lust either. It's, dude, your balls get so full of fucking juice. You're thinking too scientifically, though.

They don't think like that. They think that, like, there's lust in your brain. That, that you're trying to get it out. You know, if you don't jack off long enough, you can even start to, like, smell it coming out of your ball sack when you're, like, fucking sweaty. It smells like cum coming out of your nuts sack. It just, like, seeps through.

Yeah, dude. They don't count that. It needs to come out. There's, like, variables. Like, I have king-sized pillows on my bed, and they're, like, the size of human bodies. So, like, you naturally curl up with those. I try to fuck those. I don't know what I'm doing.

I was not saying cuddling, but... But you fuck them, then you cuddle them. Fuckling. Basically. All right, now. So two things. Now, the real question is, what was the... What was the sin you had to appease for?

In the pillowcase, like, a built-in condom. I said, I was a little, like, delinthlingling... I used to do that. I thought I was. So, I apologize for bringing a lighter into school. Because there was this little... I brought a lighter into school when I was, like, eight or nine, because I thought it was cool.

And he's like, fucking boring! I showed the God? I showed the class nerd. Fucking confession. God's always like, fucking boy, bring out the real freaks. I showed the token class nerd called Darrell who talked like this. And I was like... The priest is like...

I was like, Darrell. Get the fuck out of here. I was like, Darrell, look at this. Look what I got here. A fucking lighter, you fucking nerd. It's a fucking lighter, Darrell. And he was like, holy shit. I was like, yeah, look like I can do.

And I was like, like, turn out the lighter. And he went straight to the teacher, goes, now you brought a fire lighter into school. And then I was like, it's not even a fucking firelighter. It's a goddamn lighter. And then, like, call my parents in... What's a firelighter? Firelighter's like the fucking brick that you put in the fireplace where you fire...

I don't know. Then you... A log? Yeah. Then I went... No, no. It's like... You had trouble for bringing a log into school?

No, it was a lighter, but he said it was a firelighter. And I was like, it's not a fucking firelighter. Are you talking about those big long sticks that you light... No, they're like... They're kind of like brick-shaped coal, but they're like made a peat. I don't know if I'm being Irish here, because this is a big Irish thing, probably. You would get into more trouble than... You just said a brick...

You just said a brick made of peat. That's pretty fucking Irish. We don't have a lot of those around here. They come from Boggs. Even more Irish. So you get into more trouble for bringing in a brick made of Pete than... No, no, no. I brought the lighter in, but he said it was a firelighter.

It's not a goddamn fucking fire. Oh, I thought... I was eight. So I thought I was a fucking, like, the baddest kid on Earth. So I went in the end, my confession. I was like, I'm sorry for... I remember saying, damn, when I was in the third grade, I was a god. True story.

Oh, yeah. One time I was at my uncle's house and I was sleeping on the couch and then I pissed the cushion and then I was so embarrassed but I just flipped the cushion and then I passed back out and lo and behold I pissed it again Oh man that happened to me Shut up So I went to the confession. I was like yeah, I brought a lighter in the school expecting him to be called the place But no, he's just he's just like yeah, that's all right say four hill mary Yeah, but again when you're in school I was like four hill mary's man. I thought it was fucking bad boy I thought that was really legal earned at least 15 hell marries, but he's

So wait a minute Even when I used like a swear word in school, I was just like, oh God, they're going to fucking call the cops on me. Oh my God, that was the same thing. Everything is the biggest deal. It's like, it's like when I first watched, okay, when I watched. Now I will put my finger in somebody's face and say, fuck you and go home and sleep like a baby. What is the, what's the chart? Like, how does it? Fuck you. How does it? The Paris pulled it out of his ass.

No, how does it ramp as far as the Hail Marys go? You shoot somebody, 25 Hill Marys. But you. If you kill somebody. Yeah. That's like 40, how to? I can hold my ass out. Yeah, that's like 10 Hail Marys.

Ten? Yeah. What if you gang bang a bunch of popes? Gang bang a bunch of popes. Well, it's considering that a pope has to, like, die before a new Pope gets pointed. A bunch of potential popes. You gang bang a bunch of nuns. So you go into the house that I was talking about earlier.

What's the max? Where's the cutoff as far as Hail Marys? Is there a point where Hal Marys won't save you? Right. Well, if he says Infinite Hail Marys, you'll never reach it. But would they have it? He would actually say infinite Hail Marys? No, but probably.

I don't know. If he was drunk. Maybe. But anyway, Can a priest ever tell you in confession that there is not enough Hail Marys for you to save your soul? And if they're not allowed to say that,

what do you think the max is on Hail Marys? I'd be like, yo, speak for yourself. Like, you're so fucking good. What did you do this morning? I know you did something, priest. That is your real name. I know you're on fucking priesthub.com. You went out nuds are hot.

So basically, he's looking up none. He's like, he's like a really soft thing. So he like types in naked nuns and like none vaginas. Yeah, like literally he's like vaginal sex. Close up, close up vagina. Close vagina. What is Mary's thing? And he's like all bashful and he blushes.

He has like a doctor. He has like a doctor like a pointed like picture and he's just like, so. No, she's doing stuff. Wait, what is, what's Mary's name, full name, Mary Joseph? Virgin Virgin Virgin Mary. Virgin Mary? Mary. Mary.

Mary. Do you think anyone's... If that was after she got married to Joseph? There's definitely Rule 34 of Mary. Do you think anyone's jerked off to Mary? Oh yeah. Oh, sure. People love Virgin.

Of course they would. In fact, you know, you guys were joking around about priests like Googling pictures of vaginas. I guarantee there's some horny priests looking at pictures of Adam and Eve sitting there fucking covering up Adam's face. Mary was not... Mary was not a room. I saw a picture. I saw a picture of Mary and she had a...

bulge and she was sporting like a Bedia somewhere and she had a bunch of demon nuns around it was really hot. How do you see a picture of Mary? They're all like artists representation. No, it's Rule 34. It's like artists that'll give a fuck. Oh, okay. Yeah, but like how do you know what's representation? Forgive me. I thought you were doing pearl

necklace or something. I don't know what this was. Corey's like doing the fucking prey thing wrong. You have just brain putting your head to it. No, not. You look like you're trying to shave your neck right now. You look like you're trying to slit your throat. You look at you're threatening to slit off the sun. There you go. You're doing it right now.

All right. But yeah, so basically priests are potential popes all go into a house, fight to the death, and whoever wins, like, smoke comes out of the chimney. That's not what happens. What happens is a priest dies and one of the priests, one of the priests comes out of the ground. No! No! Yes! So, okay, so the pope dies. There's no pope for a few days. They all go into a house, right? Every night, black smoke comes out of the chimney. That's not what happened. They pull the priest out of the ground from the fucking... He's trying to tell us what really happened. This is not what happens. There's not a black smoke. A priest rides out of it.

I want to hear Niles Pope Club story. Mine's way better. I had a frat house re-advisioning. You were pulling up potato popes. No, I wasn't. You said that they were pulling up out of the ground by their ears. Metaphorically. You didn't even get a...

Pope's what the fuck I was saying. I didn't get a finish what I was saying. Like the fucking popes just buried in the dirt. That was a metaphor. You pull him out of the death of potential victimized people. And you save him. That's what I would say. You didn't let me finish.

I didn't create my landscape of sinners. I actually like your potato story better With your Garden of Sinners Now let Nile finish guys Niles stories It's like a kiss concert Fuck that Wait so the things that relate my story is to kiss

Is just fuck them both Fuck them Fuck them Fuck Niles And fuck your stories And fuck your stories Black Smoke rising out Playing his car with his tongue

Sticker out So priest's tongue hanging out Like Gene Simmons go Asshole No priest They sit in the fucking house Right every single night They have to

They have to decide who wants to be the next pope. You know how will they all want to be the fucking Pope. Everyone wants to be the Pope. Why would you want to be the Pope? It's not like you're going to get pussy and... They get kicked out of the house like Big Brother. It's like they vote each other. It's not what happens.

They sit on the chair and they're like, this Pope is really bothering me today because they like used all the ketchup and like left none for left for anyone else. So like they fucking, they kick a guy out. This is the real world Pope. Yeah, they kick a guy out. They kick a guy out.

That night, black smoke comes out of the chimney all until they... The Pope is in a 17-year-old girl. who's fucking upset about a yellow Ferrari, okay? It's not how popes are. So, wait, is the long story short that they keep whittling down until there's one left? And then when there's one left, it's white smoke. And they're like, ah, new pope has been appointed. Hold on.

What's that show with, like, a girl who has to find her date? It's like a popular show. The Bachelor. Yeah, this is... The Bachelorette. Starring Popes. Boy, who's the Bachelor in this scenario? A Pope.

No, but then who are the girls in this scenario? The Pope's. You just fucking said, he gives us all the catch-up. So that Pope's gone. That Pope is fucking metaphor. So on a more... What is the ketchup?

That's punk. On a more serious note, the way... Seems Jesus. I was talking with Stamper before in the car about this, and it's something that's always kind of confused me a little bit. Now, I have very religious friends, and I have no qualms with religious people until their beliefs start, you know, imposing on my face.

You know, until somebody puts a fucking finger in my face and tells me I'm wrong. I don't give a fuck what you're doing. Exactly. Yeah. But the one thing that always kind of got, like I loved having religious debates with my friends, but there was one debate that I never got a straight answer about, and I was never satisfied with any of the answers they gave me,

and I'm very open-minded if there was an answer that logically made sense, and maybe there's a listener out there who can explain it in a logical way that doesn't end in because the Bible said so. No one's arc. Fuck you. Am I right? No. I was close.

No. Oh, I see what you're saying. No, no. That means that you're still concerned and you're still worried that there might be a god. I'm, well, maybe, look, I'm not saying there isn't one. I just, I have no reason to believe there is one. But continue. Anyway, so this is it.

It's really simple. The idea that Jesus was sacrificed for mankind, that idea bothers me a lot. Because technically, they skim over. Well, no, it's not a sacrifice. A sacrifice is when you give something up. They say that God sacrificed his son, right? And also, not to mention that he is also God at the same time, but you don't get to give something to people,

kill it off, and then get it right back. And expect it in return. No, no, no, but that's not a sacrifice. Look, if Jesus came down, died and went to hell or disappeared out of existence, that's a sacrifice. You lost something. He got him right back. Yeah, but God brought him down for, what, 30-some-odd years?

He dies and goes right back up for eternity. Yeah. It's like, and he's fucking Jesus in heaven. And he's fucking Jesus in heaven. He's got the palace up at the top of the hill in heaven. So here we are.

We're supposed to feel really terrible about this guy. You know, meanwhile, not mentioning all the other people who were crucified and also tortured and also worse ways. There's a lot of fucking people

that were crucified. Absolutely worse ways. Oh, there were a ton of people crucified. So not only that, but the idea that they're like, look, he would sacrifice his son for mankind. If you extrapolate back a little bit,

God knows all, right? So he knew he was going to make Jesus. He knew he was going to sacrifice his son. Like, he made him for the purpose, by the way, that's a loan. Yeah, he made him for the purpose of doing it. It's like, he, like, he loaned him to us for a little bit. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's fucking ruined him. I'm going to get this guy.

You can do some pretty sweet magic trick for you cavemen because you don't really see much these days. So, like, basically, like, he's going to come in. He's going to make bread and wine and shit. And like, then he's, then I'm going to kill him off. Like, why is that a sacrifice? Why did he die for my sins? He didn't do anything for me.

I just feel like Jesus was like the first YouTube star. Like he just knew how to like touch people. No, no, he was the first scam artist. Because like, he was the first snake oil salesman. What the fuck do you think I mean? So you're saying if YouTube existed back then, he was like, YouTube is the first. He's the first. He was the first.

He was like water. He was like water. He was like watch when it turned into wine. Yeah, but if he went, if YouTube existed. Then like years later, like four or five years. He just fucking died There would be all these people All these girls coming out Talking about how Jesus fiddled them

And shit like that Or you know He did some sermon while he was en route to Jimmy Savile Yeah No, that's the British What's his name? You guys talked about this before

I always thought And then it's like that cyclical thing Where it's like if Nile It's like that What's it called? Like purple monkey refrigerator thing Where like you tell me something

Then I just keep building it up And then like I've never met Jesus before And then you're like, yeah, he did this. And I'm like, oh, shit. And then I tell Corey. And I'm like, yeah. And then there's this blind guy. And then he put his hand on his face.

He's pretty much like, he just went around going like, look at his fucking shit. Yeah, he's pretty much like, he's like getting girls' numbers with my fucking, you know, he's like, he's just going around like doing shit. And then it was like word of mouth kind of thing. Oh, he's saying pepper and people. He was pinching bottoms. He got crucified and he paid for it.

Pretty much. Yeah, he fucking died. That's kind of funny because Sam Pepper got crucified too as well he should have been he was godson he died for our sins Sam Pepper died for us like you guys said listen I want to pinch asses too all right yeah but don't go around pinching strangers asses Jesus did allegedly that's alleged in quotes he may have all right so Nile you're Catholic Corey you are a blank mm-hmm you were a I was just raised in a Christian household as far as I knew I was atheist because I

I didn't really, my grandma never talked about God, and she was Christian, but she never talked about God ever to me. Not until I was like 18, did I ever realize that the book that she had that was completely in Chinese was actually a Holy Bible. And that she was translated and that she was praying every fucking meal and every night. I had no idea. She never talked to me about Jesus ever. People like that comfort at the end of the night. How was the Bible? Was it more in turn of things you actually need?

Did they have what stir fire recipes and shit? No, fuck. Did Chinese Jesus bring more rice when you needed it? Yeah. I knew it. See? Like, there's different excerpts for all. He took a grain of rice.

He took a grain of rice and he made it a whole lot of it. And then he took a rat and he was able to serve all the parts of the rat. And that's how we learned. Like, everyone was eaten with rat livers and rat toes. Yeah, little bit of the black death. Good job, Jesus. Yeah, good job, Chinese Jesus. I mean, yeah.

Not to be confused with the real Jesus. Here's my religion story. I grew up Christian Hardcore Christian It took me many years to shake it Actually I had a really long Shake it is like fucking heroin addiction Truthfully it is

You know what you know what fuck you man You know the first the first like casualty Is on tucking your shirt And like fucking like wearing your shirt Like a Deanderthal Listen I was cool all right So I had to tuck my shirt in and wear like fucking I had a really good

I had a really good and a really long conversation with El Cid, Rodrigo, because we grew up in very similar ways where we were very religious and then it took us a long time to kind of get it out of our heads because we were like, it was like 15 years. Somebody battering something into your head. That is literally brainwashing, by the way. That is exactly how you actually brainwishing. Exactly. But, you know, like my parents weren't religious. They just knew that church was good for me. So every Sunday I'd go to Sunday school and whatever.

and I remember there was this one I was sitting like every I would always go to sermon after Sunday school and I'd sit and listen to my priest who he was a fucking great guy he was a really nice guy and they were always so fucking boring and I was a kid I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about so

it's like anything else you turn on the TV and mash or something comes on you don't get what the fuck you're looking at so you change the fucking channel you can't change the fucking channel in church no and then at the end of every sermon, he says... He can improvise and plug your ears. But did you get that thing where

it was like, he'd tell the same story again? I'd go, I've heard this one before. Yeah! No, because I never got old enough to do that, but at the end of every sermon... Section B, 3, I heard this one. Oh, for fuck's sake. Like, this is a rerun. But he would say, like, if anybody wants to devote their life to God, come up here. And one day, I was so fucking

bored in church. I ran up there. And I was like, here I am. And everyone was like, yeah, he's going to devote his life to God and it was almost like everybody else was waiting for somebody to walk up to do it so like we were all fucking excited because something was finally happening yeah for me sorry I don't know

if I like kind of your story no that's fine for me I have to finish it though because it's ridiculous okay well I guess for me my church stories were more like the stuff I remember growing up as being Christian always felt goofy to me like Adam and Eve and Noah's Ark

and Moses always felt like these like fucking Disney fairy tales which like it's like the guy who parted by like a four-year-old woman yeah this guy who parted the sea I'm like when did this come out of fucking Disney like a part of the sea this dude had a fucking ship with every animal in the world sailed over a flood

a talking snake and the first ever man and woman it's just like I'm like man now I'm just thinking back and it was like shit are my Sunday school teacher's okay now do they understand but that's the thing the only thing I remember are those three stories

I know there's tons of passages, but to me, I always thought Christianity had a bunch of stories as guidelines. Even as a kid, I thought it was like, oh, this is like sharing and be nice to your neighbors. I didn't know these people out there that are like... Well, you know, I'm still cool. I understand, like, the guidelines are definitely like genuine in a lot of ways, but at the same time it's common sense. You know what? Don't rape and murder people. Yeah, I said...

The end. It's pretty fucking simple. I see it. I want you to get back in your sense. story. I just want to throw in there really quickly. You said that you ran up there and you said that you were going to devote your life to God. Because you were bored. Well, no, but for some reason

I had this weird moment in my head where I was thinking almost like in a from dusk till dawn moment. Like if there was ever like a vampire apocalypse or something. We would need you. You'd like Stamper, you'd be drinking a beer and we'd be so royally fucked

and it was like Stamper. Wait, you devoted yourself to God. There's only few. You need to bless the blood. You gotta fucking do this shit. You're like, oh, man, I don't know how to do it. Flash it in Vampires. Oh, shit. Yeah, you're like, I don't know.

Does that work? Did I get the power? Yeah, I think so. Dude, you have, I think that's how it works. Yeah, you went up there. The priest gave it to you. Whether you used it or not. But he gave me a secret code to use it, though.

You have to say the secret prayer. Were you guys baptized? Yeah, I wasn't. I was. I had my, no. Let me tell you something. I had my little. No, let me tell you something.

You know why? I was, I was baptized. Because I heard the priest takes you out for ice cream if you do all that. Wait, does he hold your hand? No. Does he brush your hair like slightly with his hand? We went to Dairy Queen and I'm sitting there eating my Sunday and he's like, so how do you feel about God?

And I was like, oh, I'm fucking love him. It's great. He's yummy. Like you were, you were, you were, you were, dude, I'm like, very chocolateing. Dude, I don't know what the fuck. It's just like they wanted fucking ice cream and I went up there because I was born. I was baptized and devoted my life to God because I was bored and wanted ice cream. So then what happened?

Do you know? The end. Wait, do I still have my powers? I think so. You know, like when a black dude gives you like a nigapapaz? That's right. You got the... Wait, Stamper got the Niga pass.

Dude, I got the Niga pass like 20 years. I know, but today I saw it in action. When we were walking into the office, you go, hey, brother. And then out of absolutely nowhere, a black guy just comes out of the corner and just goes, hey, Stampa! And you're like, hey, man. He popped out of a dumpster like Oscar. Didn't he, though?

Where did he come from? He handed car. Does that happen if you say that anywhere? He's going, hey, brother. Dude, you can try it, man. Just go to friends. I don't have the idea. No, we had Greg come over.

Greg works on our house. He's this older black gentleman, but he comes in and every single time, he's like, every time he sees Stamber, he's like, hey, baby. And then they're both like get on like that. Stamber. He's my baby. Do you know how you said you were baptized because you wanted ice cream? Yeah. I got fucking water in my nose and everything. No, no, no. There's a fucking reason. There's a fucking swimming. Wait, boy. I know. I know. I know. Did you have like stuff? Hold on, hold on. I know it's fucking taxing. But the reason why I went to it is because like, you know, like wet t-shirts and stuff? Yeah. Oh, wait. No, you. didn't get. No, I thought I would see like milk duds. No, they saw yours though. No. They gave you a wett t-shirt. I went to, I went to a baptist thing because we thought we would

see girls' titties. Yeah, instead of just a bunch of boydied. That is a sin! And you're going to hell, Colin? God would high-fied me. He'd be like, dude, I would have done the same thing if I was building God's image and he better fucking like tities and butts. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, what's up with that? Yeah, if God built

us in his image, then he must be a fucking freak. dude. You're just fucking filthy pervert, dude. Yes. Trap. He was like traps. Yeah, dude.

He's totally like cross-dressing and fucking like... I'm so fucking sorry. He's got a great big ass. He's got some sumptuous boobies. No, no. It's like that's... He's got a big old weiner. He writes to his juicy vagina.

You talked about this. I didn't ask him to put juicy delicious butts on girls. That wasn't my idea. I was thrown into this world. Whatever. You got the past. Like a Christopher Nolan movie. I just planted here, like, and I just see, like, fucking, like, our asses all around me.

Like, and you're just like, oh, God. Like, God has to be like that. Or is that a challenge that he's giving to you? He's giving you temptation. Is he giving you temptation? He's like, look at this, look at this butt. Look at this bartender that just served you tonight. Oh, don't, oh.

Don't get too. Don't get too. You know what? That always bothered me, too. This whole, like, free will. What if that was God? It's like, he gave, the whole point is that we have free will so we make the right choices. So then we get to go to heaven, right?

But if you make the wrong choices, you don't get to go to heaven. But if he knows everything, he already knows all the choices that you would have made before you even fucking made. So why did you ever fucking make you? So you could have the free will.

What to fuck up and go to hell? Thanks for creating me so I can go to hell, asshole. Me and Zach, we're talking about this the other day and we're like, the only person that, like, if heaven exists, the only person in there is like Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers was awesome. He was the only, like, guy who, like, who didn't sin.

God has a sense of humor. I hope he's up there. God has a sense of humor because he created humans. And also, God has a sense of humor because he created humans. humor because he created humans and monkeys. So the atheists could argue that we came from monkeys and that we weren't born at the same

time. What? Yeah. Wait, no, you get that argument where it's like, if monkeys still around and why we still have monkeys? God created monkeys and people. Because we're not monkeys. We're like fucking, we have this common ancestor that goes back like tens of thousands of years. I'm joking.

No, I know. I know. I'm just saying like what they think. It's a rich raffle. Here's another one. So you have God whatever Jesus Christ You have heaven and hell Right

Yeah So you be a good boy And you go to heaven Wait and purgatory Who is purgatory Is purgatory in all Or is that just in like Catholicism or just in

Pergatory is right now Yeah What It's purgatory is sleepy cast We're halfway there We just got to make The better decisions That is the name of this episode

Pergatory is sleepy cast Or just purgatory's What it is So you have good boy town And bad boy town Right? Yeah, and you're a good boy, you go up north and you're a bad boy, you go down south.

Why are they working together? You know, if I hated somebody, why don't I be like, listen, this guy's a piece of shit. Can you punish him for eternity? Like, can you set him on fire for the rest of his fucking... I didn't sign up for this fucking game of life. I don't understand how it's like, yeah. You know...

He has to be bored. So what's... He has to be bored, God. Mom. Give me back my choice. So what's the story? Like, Lucifer's kicked out of heaven, right? Because he's like a fallen angel.

He was jealous. He was jealous that God loved the humans or something. Right, okay. So he's in hell, right? Yeah. This is propaganda from God. You know what I think? Yeah, he's probably the nice guy. I think God wants to fuck him. So if he doesn't like fucking God, then why is he doing God favors and punishing people? He's employed by God still?

Yeah. I have a question. And he's like still mad. I have a pyramid scheme. He's making like minimum Lucifer wage. Do you think either God or Jesus, do you think they might be closet homosexuals? Why do you say that? Because they have such an avid hatred for gays. Yeah, most people who hate gays a lot, they are gay.

Yeah, the people who are like really against it. You know? I want to know where that whole stigma came from. Like, some guy saw another guy with another guy, and they had such a problem with it that they had to write it into the Bible. Or was there a prophet? He wrote it in an ancient tone. They did.

They were like, em. Fucking facts. No, but it's like, seriously, what, what, what could have possibly, who thought to put that in there? And, you know what I mean? Like, who was like, yeah, totally fuck those guys. God hates, God hates rapists? And it's like, are you sure? Yes, God told me.

God told me he hates gay people. It's like, what? John came down from the heavens and told me he hates gays. It's like, and then someone's like, yeah, let's put that in the book. Yeah, but it just seems so bizarre to me. It was effective. It's still going on. I know.

If it fucking matters what your fucking neighbors doing, who gets a shit? You got murder, you've got plagues, you've got starvation, you've got all the wars, you've got all this fucking shit, but then you got two guys kissing and someone's like, oh, it's the worst, it's the worst of them. I don't get two fucks if the guy at Wawa is fucking another guy. What differences it make? It has no draw on my life. I certainly understand why it is a crime. That's what's so bizarre to me. It fascinates me when that goes.

The one thing that I've noticed, my own fucking business is what I said. The one thing I've not, like they, they, they're own business. They give the argument... My own business, Mick. I am. Not my drone business. About what? They give the argument of the...

Fucking guys? It ruins the sanctity of marriage. I know. It is. They give the argument that it runs the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is a holy sacrament. Just like communion, just like confirmation. So worry about your own fucking marriage.

However... Do you know what the number one cause of divorces? Marriage. Yeah. Right. Hey! Yeah, dude. I think the first every stand of comedian said that joke.

But no, but, uh... Yeah. back in Jesus time. But the thing is, the difference... It's in the Bible. The difference between Ireland and here is that no one is divorced, really, in Ireland. Like a couple... Like, rarely, rarely anyone is divorced in Ireland.

You guys meet when you're like 23 and just put up with it. No, but yeah, no, I think it's... They might be scared. I don't know. Or they... But here I've noticed. Oh. Everybody's divorced.

It's hardcore Catholic over there, though. Over here, it's hardcore Christian. They all pretend they are. That's the thing. They all, like, they... Like, I don't know anyone, like, in Ireland who would, like, rub fucking the Bible. Brownie points since they're always looking down upon the main driving point for every human being ever

regardless of anything they do any walk of life they have is fear that's it everyone I've met in America why do you wake up in the morning why do you get your work done I'm afraid I'm afraid this is gonna happen you're saying marriages and you're afraid you're gonna be alone oh well and then religion ties in I'm pretty it's pretty safe to say that why do you support God I don't want to go to hell and me burn for it's pretty fear it's pretty safe to say that all my friends parents

are divorced like are your parents are divorced Yeah. Your parents are divorced. My parents were divorced and remarried. Your parents were divorced. That is crazy. Like that never happens in Ireland. That is so rare.

And here it's just like, I'm a long-bursed place. Like, you, like, you should get, you should get divorced. Like, I think because, like, it's also a strange era like where, like, for example, my parents were married when they're in 19. Bad idea. I'm a fuck up now. There's no way I'm going to get married now. Yeah. No, Stamber, you're doing it right.

Like, you, you're what I want to be in, like, where. a few years. If this was the generation back then, we would all have children right now. My parents are... Oh my God. When my dad and mom were my age, they were already like dating. They're already like... Dude, it's pretty common to have kids when you're

a fucking teenager. Yeah. But you know what's interesting is anytime I've spoken with someone and they mentioned that they've gotten a divorce, if you ever say, oh, I'm sorry, the response, 100% of the time that I've experienced is, I'm not. I know you're going to fucking see that. That's exact. They got a divorce because they weren't happy.

Divorces don't just happen accidentally. I mean, yeah, there might be some cases where, you know, it wasn't necessarily mutual. But for the most part, if people are willing to get a divorce, it's probably been building up for a while and that they are not happy. So what they do do the split, they are happy. I don't know. I don't know the statistic here, but is it safe to say that most marriages end in divorce in America? I don't know if it's most enough. Statistic-wise, I don't know. But everyone with my friends' parents are divorced.

I will say that it's rare to see a very happy marriage. Yeah. Sometimes it works well. Sometimes it works very well. Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, but you know what? Sometimes you do fucking let's plays and you get 8 billion fucking subscribers. Guess what?

You're part of this 0.000, 0.001%. At the same time, I'll say this for the record. Fuck marriage. If you find somebody that you really like, just spend time with them forever. Why get married? That's what I always say when I like get a girlfriend or whatever. I was like, I'm family pressure. since I was a kid. I'm always going to get.

There's a lot of residual shit. Family pressure. Taxes. Grandparents. I said this every since I'm a kid. It is interesting that the government promotes it in terms of how the system is built to give certain benefits to married couples. It's just interesting that the system actually

is built around. There's a lot of factors. They're like ladies, they grow up and they think about their ideal marriage and stuff like that. But they don't I wouldn't say this is another form of brainwashing but at the same time it's like it's just something that's kind of in your bones from a very early...

I don't think humans are made to be monogamous because, like, they most certainly aren't. No. When you just spend your life with one person. Why can't we just jump in a big old pile of humans and just be happy? That's how you're just happy and horny. That's how it's supposed to be, but...

Why do you surround yourself with people and spend time with people you care about? What you really meant to say was, why can't you surround yourself with people you want to fucking fuck them? Yes. Well, I mean, that's part of it. But no, but ever since I was a kid, I always said, like, I said this. So any, like, girlfriend I ever have, I'll always be like, it's not just you.

I've always said that I'm always going to get pre-in-up, and I'm always going to get married. But if you, if I find someone I love who really, really wants to get married, and that's what they really want. All right, fair enough. Like, I'll probably just fucking bite the bullet and do it. But if you married them, you would be monogamous. Yeah. Well, no, I would be monogical. Like, if any relationship I ever have a monogamous, like, I don't.

He's not a special case. Yeah. Yeah, just a very special case. but yeah versus uh what's it called um versus obligation obligation to do so yeah yeah yeah but that's the thing but that but that is part of marriage the part of it and it's not even supposed to be a shameful word when you say it in the context of marriage is obligation is a part of the job description you should through better or worse right for better or for worse so i mean obligation beforehand the obligation to get married

well yeah before any of the obligation even kicks in that is and socially though that is an obligation. You stick around with a partner long enough. People start asking questions if you don't get married or they all start pressuring you to do so. I think, though, that the end result is because they want you to have kids is really what it is. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. You can't have kids. To advance the human race.

Like, I don't know. I actually just don't know, but is a monogamous, like, is a mom and dad and a kid situation? Is that better for the kid than a divorced situation? Is it? Well, look at it this way. Like, I guess it's different because for me, I didn't, my dad, my parents were divorced when I was one. So my dad was my stepdad. We were divorced when I was two. Yeah.

My mom got divorced when I was like, like six, seven months old. But my dad was my stepdad. And I always considered him more of like my father figure. Right. So it never, I guess it really just depends on how you're raised on how you. Absolutely. A hundred percent. I do not think you need to have one male, one female.

You do not need to have two parents. I think if you have one strong parental figure, you're set. I mean, look, I was raised by my grandma primarily because my mom was working and she was in college and I never met my dad and my mom didn't get remarried. Isn't that common in Asia though? What? To have a grandma raised you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they have the whole family unit.

My grandfather was still in Asia at the time and he would come to visit occasionally. But yeah, my grandma pretty much raised me. And I think I turned out okay, honestly. You know what I mean? So I don't think it's a matter of... You're an outstanding citizen. Well, I don't think it's a matter of, you know, oh, you need to have a mom and a dad in order for you to, you know,

whatever the case is. I think that's a very bizarre and close-minded view of it. I know plenty of people with a mom and a dad, you know, straight out of a picture book, and they were the biggest fucking assholes I know. I have no problem believing that you could be raised by fucking wolves. And if they were good wolves, that you would come out as a decent person.

You'd be fine. Yeah, yeah. I want to talk about how in general how sinning is looked down upon. And it's like there's so many things that are considered sinning. Like the seven deadly sins like gluttony, sloth, get them all. Lest, greed. Yeah.

Rath. Wrath. Is theft? Wrath isn't a sin. It is. Yeah, wrath is one of them. Is it really? Yeah.

How do you define wrath? Anger. It's rage. Like coming down on somebody? And murder. Envy. Envy. So the seven deadly sins are less gluttony,

greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. Right. And what's funny is, like, half of those things you fucking do on a regular basis. Half of those things you can't, like, live, you can't actually function. Yeah. Well, I was proud of myself. Yeah. I'm so fucking sorry that the last three months of my life are horrible, and then I was finally

proud of something at a fucking dead. You made a fucking macaroni makes your thing for your mom, and she's so proud of it. And you have pride because of that. Is that a fucking sin? And then now both of you are fucked. I study. I studied for 12 years to become a fucking surgeon, and I can't be proud of myself. You know what I mean?

I don't want to sit. But you could also spin so many things, like even if doing good, right? Even if doing good, you're someone who it likes to give, right? Because it makes you feel good. Yeah. So you give a lot. Yeah. Well, now you're being greedy.

You are, because you're doing something for yourself. Where's the seven? Where's the seven lovely sins? Yeah. Not to be confused. The seven lovely sins are. chastity, temperance, charity,

diligence, patient, kindness, and humility. Oh, wow. I didn't even fucking know. Those are just the opposite. So one of them are chastity, which means you're not allowed to have sex. Right. So in fairness to,

okay, so it's basically just don't have fun. Right. Yeah, just don't have sex. Don't be proud of yourself. No, I think, you know, if the seven deadly sins... Wait, sex is supposed to be fun?

Uh, well, it's not... I guess. It's like, it's the opposite to the vice of lust. Right. So it's the virtue in comparison. So the opposite of gluttony will be temperance. The opposite of greed is charity, sloth, diligence, wrath, patience, envy, kindness, and pride and humility. I'm just, you know...

Pretty much it's just the opposite of seven-duty sins. I think all of those sins, and actually, all of those sins and all of their opposites, I think it's if you take any of them to the extreme, that's when it's a problem. But if any of them are technically a sin, it's like, Jesus. Yeah, I guess what I'm saying is, Like, I, like, we were talking about us. It's like, I don't want to go up to heaven with a bunch of fucking, like, old people in a waiting room and eat crackers and wine all day. I want to go fucking party with Satan and the demon girls and fucking do drugs off their tings.

Yo, those demon girls spread their butt? Do you want to know? Do you want to know something? They love it. They do. And they envy that. Yeah, yeah. Here's that way.

They envy that. So did you know that the demons? Like, yo, there's a room over there. You need to check that shit out, dude. Let me tell you. There's some shit going out of there. So, listen. You know.

you know that in heaven. And then I'll buy them all drinks and stuff. Everything will be copious. It'll be great. You know. You know. Wait, no, copacetic. That's the word.

You know that in heaven, none of the sins are allowed. I have to move their little fork tail over. None of the sins are allowed in heaven, right? The angels that show up and the show you get is a fucking chastity belt. So it's not like you get to go, yeah, you don't get to go up to heaven and drink and fucking party. Let me tell you what fucking heaven is. It's playing ping pong and being a faggit.

So be it. So the fucking asses, play a ping pong. Booth, beard, bishops. That's hell. That means that literally... That's fun times. No, that literally means that this, if hell is burning for eternity

and heaven is sitting around singing O'm, Om, Om, all the way, all day long. Heaven's washing old people. That means this is it. This is it. This is the only time that you're going to be able to drink and fuck and swear

and do all the city things that are so fun. Let me tell you something, Corey. You're going to go to heaven and God's going to come up and you're going to come up to be like, hey, what's up, Corey? You did a good job on Earth. Welcome to Heaven. You don't play badminton?

And you're going to be like, no? That's gay. Exactly. And he's going to be like, gay, and then ban you. You know, guys, he's going to put his hand on your fore. His big giant fingertip on your forehead and be like, you're banished from heaven forever. And you're going to be like, and, and, and say, fall and plummet. And then, like, Satan's like, dude, you don't know how many people flip fly.

He's like, dude, we got bad if you want it, you fucking queer. But we also got the room full of the demon girls spreading their butts. It's great. Go over there, look. That is actually... Should I turn into a demon for a second? She sounded like a fucking demon. Did you know that there are different demons associated with each deadly sin?

Yeah. The ones, if you... It was in Dante's Inferno, I think. So, like, when he went to the level with the gluttons... It was great. It was like people that would, like, force feed you food and then, like, tear out your innards and shit. And then there was, like, the lust ones where they would, like, fuck your dick off. The lust ones called Asmodius.

Is the lusts? sin, but you know, like, Bielzebub? Yeah, that's Envy. Fuck your dick off. Bielzab is Enzy. Lucifer is the demon of pride. Dude, she fucked my dick off. I don't know any of the other ones, though. You go to heaven, and when you sign over your life to heaven,

the first thing that happens is your dick falls off. Yeah. So your angel can be endogenous. Yeah. You'd like that, Corey. You know, that's actually what angel wings are made out of, dick skin? You just, just fall to the chipper and angel skin and vagina flap skin. It just, it falls right on.

and then they peel it as wide as they can. Oh man, could you imagine being the guy who has to clean up all the dick skin and fucking vagina stand and stick it into the man-made machinery in heaven? Patriarchy in heaven? I guarantee you they clip coupons in heaven. Yeah.

They have wet dreams. Senior discounts. Have wet dreams in their... They watch a lot of Wheel of Fortune. They have wet dreams and hide it from God. God walks by to inspect all the wetlands. He comes in, he peeks in the window. He comes in, he peeks in the window. He's like,

do you have a wet dream? You're like, no, God. I just pissed myself a little bit. He's like, you don't have a dick, your wings are made of your dick. It's like, I was drinking the holy water. You gotta make up stomach schemes. What do you think is the biggest sin you could commit if you got into heaven? Taking dick pictures of God.

Fucking a baby angel. You don't have a cheek. Baby angels are cute though. Come on, let's be honest. It's like, you know, there's big chummy cheeks. Is I do, this baby angels like 8,000 years old. I just got here. Come on, man. I'm like younger than this fucking baby cheeks.

this fucking baby angel dude I would be so good of bullshit and gotta be like bro I just got here I'm sorry I'm not used to this whole fucking heavy I'll be God in the scenario okay go for I brown knows the fuck out of God I gotta get his good side so I get some brownie if you were to be God though you have to accuse him of something when he changes the rules when everyone has to come down for the Y2K or whatever I'm good listen guys I do all that you know what Y2K is Corey listen why I would it's a millennium bug sorry the rapture is where I would kiss God's that's what I'm saying I'm like you know are I'll be doing

Yeah, exactly. You got him in this scenario. And then he comes, when you're coming down on the, on the fucking like, boogie plane to Earth again to like go on the big projector and look at all the sins you guys did, you like, come on, knock with you. Man, I was drunk. Snapper. I'd be real with God.

I'd be like, oh, that's a fucking nice toga. How do you keep it so white? Chlorox bleach? And he's like, no. And he's like, no. But where'd you buy that at? He's like, I used vanish. Vanish oxyclean.

Vanish oxy clean. Pure than you. All right. So, however, I'll be God in this scenario. Stamper Stop This podcast brought to you By Vanish OxyClean for God

Buy some Vanish OxyClean Be whiter than God Because black is for hell Okay but so basically Black is Stamper My baby's anuses are larger than usual today Do you have anything to do with this? Yeah baby I fucked him

Down to hell with you Bye Let's get to that That's it, done I get to hell It's over Satan's like check it out lot of baby hands.

No, you show about you like, how does this? There's too many. Baby! There's so many. There's so many. I heard about

and keep the bodies together. So they just have to make them separate, make the baby asses float in. Just a big wall of baby asses. Yeah, we had overtime. Dude, jokes aside,

if anything, I would get to hell and I would have to like, I'd have to pull Satan aside and be like, listen, dude, I know you like to party is fucking awesome t-shirt,

by the way. But listen, I just got three worlds on it, man. I need to fucking relax. For a second. And I bet he'd be cool. He'd be like, all right.

He would listen. Hey, you know what? You take your time because guess what? We got eternity. Yeah, we got a lot. We got a lot of shit to do. I'll be like, all right, I just need a nap. He's like, God tells everybody I'm supposed to send you on fun.

If anything, he'd be fucking annoying. Like, he'd like bang on your door and be like, dude, we need to fucking party. And you're just like, no, man. That's where hell it is. Please give me a break. You bring them in, you try to cook them eggs and be like, calm down. You're like, I like my eggs pickled. Come on, man.

Give me two fucking seconds Just fucking get my brain together Now do you Does the devil like split Every single time there's a new person Because my I'm imagining that if The more people that were there Like let's say back in the beginning

There's only like what like a few billion people down in hell But now there's like there's like you know Billions and billions of people in hell at this point So it's like they either had to hire more people Yeah so Mick Or how do they manage that? So Mick isn't the whole There's no way they hired enough demons to fucking punish that many people

Right isn't the Especially at the rate that was from a wallets that coming out out of... Isn't the whole point? Below minimum wage is bullshit. Unless they're converting the people that go down as like new recruits. Isn't the whole point of Christian,

or the Christian view of religion, I think it's just the Christian view of religion, is that there's going to be a holy war between the angels and the demons eventually. But wouldn't there be way more people that go to hell than heaven? Oh my God, hell would totally win.

Hell would totally dominate. Yeah. Totally dominate. Heaven would go on Twitter and say mean things. No, they wouldn't even, they'd be like, oh God, I don't want to hurt you. Heaven would be like, oh, geez, is this going to hurt?

And the hell would be like, fuck you. They're like ISIS. Heaven would be starting fundraisers. Like, oh, an angel died. We need to fix this. Yeah, yeah. They're going to raise $3,000. Yeah, on their Kickstarter.

Satan would be like, hey, we're making a new beer. Yeah, and you're like, shit, dude. Their Kickstarter video is just trees. It's like, demon semen beer. Demon semen beer. And then you're like, that is suffering. You're like, shit, dude. But then you see all these girls coming in a shit.

He's like, I'm fucking. Kistartin' butt and pussy for every butt. The butts and pussy for everyone foundation Hey I'm like it back to VCR Dude fucking Satan would If there was a Kickstarter Satan would pay the entirety of it You know how out of touch heaven is

Yeah they're like they don't even double click a mouse and Satan's got a fucking iPad He really lost touch with how life is right now He really lost touch We got it That's God's favorite thing. He's just the BCR. He has all his favorite prize things. The VCR and the cassette player. That's the things he listens to. Yeah, he's got like his bookshelf of tapes. He's listening to it.

He's got like the top and like the top four rows of like his normal VHS tapes. And then like the bottom one is the taller one that's got all this big white ones that don't fit on any other fucking shell. I have no problem with people who are rocking and ro. My best man was is very, is very, very, very, Christian and I love his family dearly. And listen, if there is God, that's awesome. Look, they always say that like, you know, you have to be open to God. I am open to the idea of it.

I am as well. And you know what? Honestly, God never thought in somebody's face though. Right. But if God knows everything and God wants my attention, he knows how to fucking get it. Exactly. He knows how to fucking get it. No debate. I'm open. I'm open to God, but I need evidence. And they say, but that's not faith.

That's always the discussion. But like, if he just comes time just goes peek-a-boo and just leaves like for like one second then you'd be like I won't think that's God. Let me tell you so. I'll think I just had a quick hallucination. I could never believe in a God or trust a God or respect a God even that wanted blind faith

out of his creations. I would believe that if I created something I would have to earn that respect and they're like, well they made you. Well I don't know that but I'm saying that if you can earn my respect and then or if you can try to do something to earn someone's respect

and they still turn you down and they still, you know, put their nose up at you, fuck them. But how about this, Mick? You're only allowed to go to heaven if you praise me. If you go down on your knees every day and go, you're great, I'm great. Like, why would you want to worship a God

that wants you to, like, actually, like, go down in your knees and be like, God, I love you. Like, what, like, seriously, like, that is. That's pride. That is pride. Oh, my God. That's fucking vanity. You just debunked religion right there.

That's a fucking deadly sin. Nick just debunked religion. Let me tell you something. Live here, folks. do that? Because they want their fucking pretty house on the side of the ocean. Like, they're fucking, like, their nice two-story house with their fucking perfect wife and all this shit. They want this perfect... Because, you know, when you go to heaven, you get everything you want. You get the one thing you always wanted. Which...

What if you want, is greed. Which is greed. Corey, it's so beautiful how you were just like, your ideal life is a two-story house with, like, a nice-stoy... No, no, no, no, it's so humble and perfect. No, no, it's just like that's what people want. They want their perfect ideal world. living in the... That's what I want to live in the Bahamas. That'd be fucking amazing. But, like, that's what they want.

But you know what that is? That's greed. Because you want that. Yeah. You don't want to get it. You're doing all this good stuff so you can have material or you can have the things

that make you feel so good. It's all worked. It's a fucking fascinating. But you can spin it. I remember talking to people about friendship, too. The most generous, amazing people I've ever met in my life

aren't religious. I'll say that much. Don't give a shit. They're human beings. Tell you guys what we're doing. Don't kill your neighbor. Yeah. There you go.

Surprise. Yeah, it's pretty fucking simple. Do you want to talk about when we stopped like being religious, all of us? No, are you okay? No, I was burping while talking, so I looked like I was. All right, I guess for me. A drunk hobo.

You're like, you want to talk. Don't bring the whole thing back. Come on, I'm working hard not to look like a homo. You don't look like a fucking samurai. I stopped looking like a hobo. He's like a samurai in the making. You have beautiful lives. You look like a Kurt Cobain fan.

Fan. She's a knock off. What the fuck was that? You have a beautiful lover, and you're a handsome guy. Thanks, thanks, tantrum. Ow, my heart! I think you're a very handsome guy. All right, I think you'd be a catch for a lady, truthfully.

Yeah, tank stamper, but can I just tell one story relating to that? You absolutely can't. So, uh, this is a... Can I hold your stick? Oh, my. Well, that's creepy. Put back in your pants, dude. This is off topic, but, um...

Me, Zach, um, Chris and Corey went to John's house, um, John Tron, and we went to the Nintendo store one day and Rockabeller Center. The Nintendo store. Yeah, but it was closed, but... Elaborate. But a fan came up to John Tron. And it was like, are you John Tron?

And John was like, yeah, you know, he was doing the whole thing. It was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They got a picture and all that stuff. And then John goes... This guy here is Brad Pitt. Just to me, you pointed at me. And then the guy just goes, well, you're not looking very good.

And just walks away. I know I'm not Brad fucking Pitt. But come on. Let's be honest. Don't, don't hurt my feelings like that. I was hoping one day maybe. You get plenty of fucking attention from people. That hurt my feelings just a little bit. Like, I know I'm not Brad Pitt, but at the same time,

the fact that... Dude, I had a whole group of people say that I looked like I was a product of radioactive exposure, right? How do you feel about that? Niall, that was your story, really? Don't do it. I got made fun of them. It's almost like that story came right out of Ireland.

Wait, what was that? What was that, Nick? What are you guys trying to say right? That was an Irish story You need an intentional thing to put on yourself You need a joke You should have been like What you expected him to be

Is like when you said to Brad Pitt Then you could have been like Well you're like a fucking Nope You would say if he was like yeah Well you're not looking really good And he's like yeah I miss Jennifer No next time that happens

But that's not actually what happened though You say I'm not that sharp You say nah I look like Brad's shit And then you grab him and kiss him on the mouth and then you send him away. But this guy...

What's a handsome black guy? Denzel Washington. This guy was no Denzel Washington himself. You know? So why is he coming up to me and say... I don't know. You have to be self-deprecating. Well, that may be true.

We were talking about that before, dude. Life is always going to be weird. If you put everything out there, all your flaws out into the world, there's nothing anyone can say that can hurt you. Because you've already put it all out there. If they call you out on something, if they make fun of you, guess what?

You've already said it 100 times. and everybody already knows. But I thought about this. If Brad Pitt... Bulletproof. Bulletproof. If Brad Pitt is a 10, he's the standard of male good-lucking...

Let me tell you something. Brad Pitt is like a fucking six now. He's like 90 years old. Dude, he's 50 and he's still a fucking 9.85. Well, I'm not jerking off to Brad Pitt every night, all right? But you're not gay. But like, the thing is, Brad Pitt... Whoa.

If he's the standard who is... As far as he knows. Okay, so he's known as like the male adonis of this year. Like, he's like the male... More like Hugh Jackman. High-five. anyone? I'm not good.

Let's not get into semantics here. What fucking cares about you Jackman? So basically, be... Bees the male in Matt. Matthew McComney. Being good-looking these days is how close you resent by Brad Pitt. No, you just asked me, when did you guys stop doing religion? And then you were like...

You were like, oh, I got made fun of a Nintendo store. I'll get back to that. And now we're talking about fucking dudes. I'll get back to that. But if Brad Pitt is the like... Yeah, Flabby Pitt, go on. Is the standard that you have to live off? Yeah.

Yeah, Brad shit. Yeah. All right, let me just finish my talk about a good bag, right? Bad shit. So if he's a standard that you have to live up to these days, like, so you're obviously never going to look exactly like Brad Pitt. You're not going to look as much as he, like him. As he does?

Okay. So you're not going to look, so if he's like 10, you're obviously going to be under that. If he's, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm kind of drunk, guys. I look like John Oliver. Yeah, you do. You do. But you're, you're cute on the side.

Yeah, you're cuter. But anyway, so when do we start losing our religion? I was, when I, let me tell you something. You're the one who told him to go back to it. I know, but I guarantee that Brad Pitt has never made a lady laugh before. Yeah, Brad Pitt is... What? That's not true. That's a terrible thing.

Dude, he's the kind of guy who's, like, hilarious and has a huge dick, and there's just nothing you can do about it. He's serious? He actually, there's a quote from that. I don't think he's hilarious, but I think he's definitely made a girl laugh. I'm pretty sure he's got a few... Name one comedy movie that Brad Pitt has ever been in. There's three guys sitting here. Name one.

I don't even know of Brad Pitt. Burned after reading. Oh. What's the one where he was a stoner? Uh, uh, that's not a comedy movie. True Ormats? Yeah, that's not a comedy. He was a, he was a... Name one that's not like an obscure fucking black comedy.

Name one where he's been funny. Now you're lowering, you're lowering the categories. You're like, fucking changing the variables. No, but however, like... You know what? That motherfucker is old and useless. I agree. He's Blabby Pitt.

That was my retort. Flavby Pitt. Yeah, I'm sure that would hurt his feelings and you go home and be like, Oh God, that guy called... David Bickham has like the personality of a fucking cardboard. I'm so sorry if Brad Pitt is a fan. But that guy has plenty of fucking... Mick, it's not mutually exclusive though.

It's not mutually exclusive. I think Brad Pitt could be funny. But like he actually is quoted on saying, I'm the kind of guy that everybody else hates because my genetics are so good. Or something like that. He's like, I was just born with like the best genetics possible. Sorry.

Sorry. That's fucking hilarious. Move on. Back to religion. So when I lost my religion is when I was like six, 16 or 17, I started watching YouTube videos because I actually, I wanted to believe in God. I was, because I didn't

know what Pascal's... Then you read a comment section and then that was it. I didn't know what Pascal's Wager was when I was that age. And Pascal's Wager is basically like, all right, so there's two scenarios. God exists and God doesn't exist. If you believe that God exists, you're going to heaven. If you believe that God doesn't exist,

you're not going to heaven. If heaven doesn't exist, that's fine. If you believe God's exists, you're happy. You'll just rot for eternity, but like basically it's like a two out of three. Most scenarios it wins because you might, if you just believe in God, you'll go to heaven. If it doesn't exist, then you won't notice because you'd be dead. So that's Pascal's wageries. So I kind of fell for that and I was looking at religious videos to believe in it. But the more religious videos I watched to make sure you were right? Yeah, so the more religious videos to watch the more holes I found in and the more like I found out how stupid it was and that's just how I stopped believing in it. I never gave it much thought until then. So it was trying to start thinking about for me. I like how like technology was introduced into your world and you're sitting here like looking at like it's like I need to pull up religious

videos to reinforce your beliefs but I didn't know much yeah but for me like you asked me but for me it was back when I was questioning like the Disney fucking fantasy stories I heard like I yeah I told you like fucking how is some dude gonna get to Egypt how is no he means the Disney fantasy store yeah like Moses splitting the fucking sea and some dude making a boat for a flood that fucking put every one animal on the fucking boat or every kind of animal? Not to mention that the only human survivors of that would have been some old man in his three daughters.

Exactly. Oh shit. No one already talks about that. To me, that just needs... We don't bring that up. Listen, you don't have to be like a fucking genius to know that if you put a lion with a chicken in the same room or on the same boat or even a lion

and some other small animal, the lion is going to fucking kill the animal. Completely pointless. I mean, like, They try to like, throw this into that story. No, it's just like common sense. Here's what I want to know with Noah's Ark. What were they feeding the lions? Exactly.

No, they said they had food. Wheat. Lions don't eat wheat? They had to kill off. That's the name of the podcast. Lions don't eat wheat. That's why they brought fucking like eight fucking things to chickens because they were going to have to feed them to the other animals.

Yeah, they doubled up on the chickens. And the lambs because they were going to have to feed those. God gave the chickens passaways and said, if they have babies, feed them to the lions and other smaller animals. Because it's a doggy, dog world. Got it. And God understands it was. It was its own ecosystem.

Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like, people are looking at this now, and they're saying, you know what? I know those are ridiculous, but they are guidelines. They just feel their guidelines. But it's like also, like, those creationists who... But it's nonsense. It's completely nonsense. It's clearly obviously nonsense.

But it's like the people who believe that the Grand Canyon was created from Noah's Ark. And it's like... The Grand Canyon. The canyon was when I walked to my grandma's house and drag my pee-pee on the ground. Where's the canyon there? But in contrast to where, like, Moses was, it's not even in the same fucking area. Yeah. So it's like, how the fuck did he make this boat and then pick it up and lift it?

A few million yards. Yeah, it was supposed to be the whole planet, I think. Yeah, it wasn't like Evan Almighty where they flooded downtown New York and the rest of the world that was cool. Yeah. that was fucking terrible it was totally fucking terrible came and it was just like a giant tidal wave all these panda bears came from fucking china

jumped on a boat traveled a block got off and then went home Evan Almighty was actually the first movie I've ever walked out of before it finished like in theaters I never even thought I like Steve Carollo he's cool yeah yeah he got a big fat man

never mind what he does for money you got a big fat paycheck I mean I never like I said I never had religion like really in my life at least not that I about it was never imposed in my life. This is the religious podcast. I remember not long ago we were at a bar thinking, okay, we'll touch on religion and then we'll talk about potato chips.

Oh yeah, no, we'll get to the potato chips. We still got some time. And then Nail was like, oh, you meant potato chips. I thought you're talking about chips, because in Ireland they called fries chips. Also made of potatoes. Also made of potatoes. Which is an Irish emblem. That's fair. Is it the potato?

It's not the embellum. You guys are fucking pathetic, man. That's all you have. What are you talking about? They make whiskey. They got Guinness. That was unfair. Cut all that. I'm so fucking sorry.

Your blood is made of that shit. I'm sorry. Even if you had no Irish heritage, now your blood is Irish. Ireland, please forgive me. I love you, so much. I was going to say that, but as I got older, I mean, I was always kind of like looking for God a little bit, not looking,

but I was always very open to it. I ended up in like weird Christian youth groups, even though I wasn't Christian, all sorts of weird ass shit. Human beings searched. for purpose and reasons. That's natural. When you're younger, you look for whatever you. So now, I've just kind of like,

I've settled into the idea that I don't believe in God. I'm not saying there is no God. There's just nothing that's made me believe that. And that's a stance that a lot of people take. I take that exact same. And that I would just rather lay back on my Buddhist roots.

And that's pretty much what I... Buddhists are hard. It's what... Right. And it's not even a religion more than it. It's just a set of values. And they're good values, too. It's what... Hold on.

It's what Stamper said. Stamper said people just want to find, like, value, or, like, they want to find purpose. So they want to find the reasons for things that happen. Like, you see these stories that people like, oh, I had a near-death experience where I saw a white light and all this stuff. But it's been proven that the same experience can be held in, like, those things where people go in space shuttles who go around really fast. And they have the same experience. Can I expand on that? Hold on.

And they both see, like, the same thing. And it's like you put two and two together. And you start questioning all these other things. Like, you start questioning, like, spirits and stuff. and you're like, so you wonder why these people who go around with these little electric boxes to, like, outlets that get, like, huge, like, lighting things, or they see, like, lightings

and stuff, it's like, it could be so much other things because... I would love, I would love to see a ghost. Honestly, people say, like, would you be scared, no, because then I would know that there was more than this. I would never say it. I have never seen it. I would be am. I would be am. It seems like, it seems like everybody growing up

in my life has seen and felt... No, they say they do. No, but they say they do. But, me the fucking experience I've had with voices and seeing shadows but I have never seen I'm going to say one thing and then I'm going to let Nile talk when I was again

back to what Mick was saying about fucking brainwashing when I was in the second or third grade a teacher from a neighboring classroom she like borderline died right so she came in to talk to all of us she stood up in front of the class and told everybody about how she she was about

to die and she saw She went to heaven and she saw all these pink clouds and life was great. And then she sat and talked to us about the afterlife and how heaven is waiting for us and it's great. This is in public school. Yeah, see, that's not fact. She sat there and she fucking told us that. And I think back to that, and I'm like, are you... Because when you die, Stamper, what do you call it?

Like, granted, I understand that I'm not going to write off anything that she saw. No, but at the same time... You should. You come to fucking a class and say that they haven't exist and that we- That always- You shouldn't. I'll tell you why. It always made me that because it's like a teacher coming, but oh, you get all the fucking ice cream you want. It's the best.

You got all to think about hanging yourself. But we all respected her because she was like 96 years old and we all sat and looked up at her. Because she was a wise sensation. Like yeah, this is a fucking she, this is it. It's not a fact. This is proof. You can't take that. This is proof.

You can't take that. This is shit that drags behind you for the, next fucking 10 years of your life before you write it off you can't take that as proof though because when you die it's a like it's been proven that like your your brain and your penile gland in your brain which also is known as your third eye releases this chemical penial called third eye called dimethylophenyne which is a chemical that is the same chemical that releases when you dream so dimethyl so dimming and do drugs yeah there's a drug called dmt psychedelics yeah there's a psychedelic called DMT which you

can smoke or you can do this other version of it called iowaashka which lasts longer i don't know something about that But dimethyl trymethyptamine releases from your peanut gland and pretty much it has the same effect in dreams and it stops the trauma of death. So like, so you're pretty much dreaming as you die. And like when you're dying, you think of heaven because that's what else are you thinking of you're like, I hope it'll go to heaven. So like you're going to dream of heaven. Like that's what happens. That's what people think.

Listen, make sense. Life is. Wrong, maybe. Makes sense. It's probably more right than the alternative. Life is like. I'm just, I'm so used to getting corrected by people in YouTube. Canber. Let them, let them.

Life is like a hurricane. Here in Duckburg. Oh, God. You're going to start singing the Duck Tales team now? We're waiting for it. Wait, stop. That was the Ducktail thing, wasn't it? Well, it was like a hurricane.

Here in Duckberg. Sing with authority, asshole. Something. Come on. Ddub, Duh, Dukberg. Come on. We're in Duckberg. What's the...

You don't know the words. All you know is Doc Burke. Duckberg. Woo. Might solve a mystery. Or rewrite history. Duck tales. Woo.

Bumpba-da-da. Exactly. Now do the Darkwing Duck theme song. Darkwing duck. Let's get... dangerous. When the trouble you call D-W? Dark, clean duck.

All right, tailspin. Wait, hold on. It's like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah. I like tails spin, the cartoon, dude. What was her name? Kit? Was that her name?

The girl? No, Kit was, Cloud Kicker was the kid. Oh, whoops, never mind. I think you're thinking about, uh, rescue rangers. No. What gadget? No. No, but Tailspin had a girl, too.

Gadgett's fucking hot. Yeah, she was. You want to get that little... You want to do Inspector Gadget? I'm going to wrap that bitch in duct tape and fucking shit out of her so she doesn't pop, you know what I'm saying? She had some fine little mice titties in a butt. I know. And then she's like working on her little tiny little fucking race car.

She definitely had a butt. The fucking chipmonged. And she was psyched just to do her own work. You know she wanted to fuck on the side, too. Yeah. But she was... She was. She was kind of like, guys, get off me. I got work to do. Whatever. She was a strong independent

woman. No, she was. And then at the end of the day, she wants to go home and just let a man take control. Peel over her. She just wants to let loose because she had such a stressful day. She wants somebody else to give her orders. I could

see that. I could see that now. That's what she did wrong. It was great. It was a great night of jerking off. Stamper, can you paint my nails? You want Stamper to paint your nails? Look at the hack job he did on himself.

That was a horrible job. That's pretty good. From here, though. Yeah, from there. Yeah, take a look over here. You painted his fucking ear. You're fucking, you and your eyes. You're like a Highlander.

You're beautiful. It's great. No, I think I do have decent eyes, but right under my eyes are big dirty eyebags that ruin him. No. He's going to bang his contacts out one day and we're going to know his secret.

Yeah, dude, nobody ever said that about Benicio del Toro. Oh, yeah. All the girls are all. up in his shit and they weren't like, look at those big saggy bagger. He's Benicio del Toro though. I'm Nile for sure. Yeah, he looks like fucking Shepard's pie. If you look

in his face, he's a fucking mess dude. They don't see that. I always thought he looked like a human version of like Frankenstein or something shit. Did we get off? That ghoulish look in his eyes. Religion? Was that over? When did you lose religion? Remember when Duck Jesus

came to the bird? I casually lost it. That's what I'm saying. You got a hold in your pocket and just a little grains of Oh, you're one of those guys who was so cynical that you're like, uh, yeah. Over time. I'm sick and fucking tired of people calling me cynical.

I'm the most positive guy ever. No, you're not cynical, but you're one of those guys who was like, this shit happened to you that you were like, God could not possibly exist. You didn't, you didn't think of it, like, you didn't like do the research. Not that it's a bad thing. Here's how I lost religion. One day I was like, oh, you know what?

You thank God for everything that you did. I went through the hardest shit ever, and I did it by myself. He didn't do fucking shit. Exactly. I didn't even mean you're a cynical In a Jeff's sense of cynical I meant you're cynical in the fact that like

You can't say that on this podcast Because he's part of the podcast He knows he cynical though Yeah he is a cynical piece of shit He knows he cynical That does his schick though You can't like deny your stick Yeah

My stick is being a dumb Irish guy My stick is eight inches long But You sit and you eat Oh thank you God for all this food It's like I worked so fucking hard For this food Fuck you, God.

You gotta pay your Jesus tax. Fuck you. You gotta pay your Jesus tax. Yeah. On the bread rolls and the ham that you fucking planned for for two weeks. That's what it is. When you go to church and appease your sins, you're paying all your taxes back for all the bad you've done.

You're like, oh, God. Holy fuck, I haven't paid my Jesus tax in like 14 years. All right. So, hold on. Let me say it. Whoops, sorry. Jacked off in a sock. Hold on.

Sorry, God. So, Snap her. Like, he doesn't jack off in giant God sock. Sava. He doesn't. If, this goes for everyone, but if, if God, if come goes, dude, if God did exist, no, he did exist, and he fucking came down and he showed his face

and it looked like Mufasa's head in the fucking clouds and it was very, we all saw it and he was like, guys, listen, I just wanted to clear some shit up. I do exist. All right, I'll see you later. Actually, does this part of Ireland? No, no, no, no. If he said,

if he said this, jerk off in a stock. No, more specific, If he came down and he said, guys, I did this. Not only did he come down from the sky or in the clouds, he formed his big face in the clouds like Mufasa and he said, Humans of Earth, I am God. Listen, I'm sorry I was away. I was a little busy.

I wasn't checking my messages. Apparently a lot's been happening while I was gone. Listen, the Bible is all true. No matter how weird it sounds, I was involved. Yes. Just facing the. clouds this is clearly impossible well guess what noah's ark Moses it's all true that's a good God voice and then he said if you all want to get into heaven

just follow the book he's like and listen to the church I'll see you guys but he's something like you're a little late dude no no wait now he said that right would you would you then go to church only only if he said like I know I know it sounds fucked up in the Bible but listen I have my reason it it sounds fucked up but seriously just come on man just believe right and you'll know what I mean I can't even pass my fucking driving test I think I'm gonna read your fucking Bible to get all

the shit right you would say that to God yeah if God really appeared and was actually real and then Satan's fucking strings that were controlling me in my mouth exactly jokes aside I'd be like listen dude maybe after I pay my rent yeah I would be like

listen I cannot I cannot fucking read this book it's like it's like it's you know Like, you know, maybe I'll take Zach's advice and read a book 30 minutes before I go to bed. But you're going to have to understand this needs to expand a little bit. I can't tell time. I've got to set mini goals. It's like, okay, so. You know what, truthfully, I'd be like, you know what, faggot?

I would love to sit on high and judge people all day. It would be so much fun. Maybe you should stop eating so much fucking cheese. Maybe you should fucking do this. It's great. I would love to do that. No, what if he goes, what if he said? What if he said, although.

I'm so fucking. fucking sorry you're sitting on clouds and life is perfect for you right now. What if he goes, yo, yo, you're like all those fucking African children, we kind of need them. That's why you're making them starve and we need like as many African children as possible. I won't. He's like, we fucking need these African children, man. You'll know when you, you'll know when you get there, okay? Just trust me.

What would you say? I don't know that. I like how God's having a heart with heart with only you. Yeah, he's trying to like really trying to justify himself. He's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm going to get out of clouds. I'm going to come into human form. I'm going to make you fucking back. Stap, bro.

I'm giving y'all, I got, Stamper. What if he didn't come out of the clouds, though, and he was, like, he was like, four-foot-three, and he was, like, kind of a midget, and he was like, hey, guys, I'm God. I'm God. I just really want to tell you. Look, I'm doing magicry. I'm putting fire in my hand. And he just put fire in his hand. He's like, yeah, okay, so anyway. And he's looking up at you, and he was like, so fucking. Jesus is, like, way bigger, and he's like, dad, oh, my God.

He's embarrassing me. And he's like, dad, you get me back my roller skates. What is Jesus comes down? This is roller skates. There's one beer left. You know, I would just... Anytime I hear about, like, Jesus coming down, I'd only want him to come down, like, Thor comes down.

Like, you'd come down, like, a comet, hit the pavement, and there's, like, a fucking crater left by him. But he's just wearing his, like, nice little robes, but he clearly has, like, the density of, like, fucking star. So after God does the speech, Jesus comes, and he's, like, carrying a bunch of papers from heaven, and he's, like, you know, running down. And he's giving out people, and they're like, what is this?

He's like, oh, my son, he wrote a new book. I need you guys also to read this. And tell me what you think because he's kind of little nervous about writing again. You know, most people just want him to sign it. Yeah, like a convention. But the Bible was actually... I'd be like, yo, where were you during 9-11? You remember that?

That was pretty fucking bad. December. Like, the Bible had actually been written. I was writing my book. I was actually more concerned where Spider-Man was when that shit happened. Actually, that's true. I would be too. I'd be like, come save me.

I'd be like, fucking Spider-Man, please. Yeah, when an electric... What happened? You know, there... All he had to do was throw webs up between the Twin Towers and the Tachs the planes. You guys are talking about how you think most of the population is religious.

Most of the population... Okay, but we've seen plenty of... I've seen plenty of videos where, like, people don't even know... Like, if they show a picture of Jesus next to a picture of, like, fucking Spider-Man, they'll point out Spider-Man 100% of the time, and like 70% or 60% of the time, they can figure out who Jesus is.

Yeah, that's a... That's confirmation bias, though. That's more like people watching those. That's world bias. It's like, what was there? I'm just saying kids today, kids today, 10 years old and younger, do you think they believe that Spider-Man is more real than Jesus? Yes.

Okay. They relate more. And also, it's relatability. This is where the world is going. What was that recent thing that they just released where it was like the McDonald's logo is more recognizable than the cross? Yeah, and Stamper. This actually, this comes up to a topical event because recently,

Zane left one direction. And a lot of his fucking fans... Cut for Zane! Cut for Zane! Cut for Zane! They all cut for Zane. They cut their wrists because this dude left one direction. A fucking band that's not going to exist in six months.

It's been done and overweight. It's a blood sacrifice is what they're doing. That's because Zane is more recognizable to the fucking young population. Yeah, Jesus' band is Christmas. He's more valid. And I'm not saying that that's a bad thing. No, you know Jesus is looking down, just like shaking his head, like, he's just so jealous that so many people are willing to cut themselves for some fucking kid that nobody fucking cares about five years.

He shouldn't be, because it's all in his image. It's one direction to God. Yeah. But I thought that was very interesting when I saw it. Like, I know it was very sad that these fucking kids are cutting themselves, but like it is actually the same thing as like people sacrifice themselves for Jesus. He's fucking stupid. It's fine. I know.

But, no, but no, but it's like, human mentality is what it like the hoard mentality of like just trusting in someone so much or believing in someone so much that like who the fuck came up with the idea to cut themselves because of it and started this shit train but that's my whole bunch of fucking little girls jumped on to fucking get attention on Twitter who the fuck started that's my point that is they should have really cut for Zane and just fucking cut their own head off but Mick that is fucking stupid but Mick that's my point though this shit has been going on for eternity it's part of it's in the human psyche to do that

shit. You know what I mean? Like people fucking kill sheep for fucking God. Why would God want a fucking sheep? What would you do? If you got like so popular, you were like the sleepy cast Zane. Oh, God. And then you were like, you know what? I'm gonna fucking move to New York. I'm done with this shit. And everyone

was like, cut for an eye. I would make a video. I would absolutely make a video, make a public appearance and I'd be like, you know what? Any of you, if any of you cut yourself because of this, you were never a true fan. Yeah, no, I'd do that. I'd make a video and be like, dude, I'd fucking stop. I do not respect any of you who do this. You know what, truthfully, that

motherfucker should do that. He should. He spent two seconds on Vine and be like, stop. Yeah, that's it. Stop. That's it. That's all you had to say. Half a second is like, stop. One word. One word on Twitter. Stop. Just stop. And just put the hashtag comfort in. Just stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Yeah.

Baby, you'd light up my world like nobody else. You ain't in a few dangerous. Oh, oh, oh. You don't know you did a fool. I'm skipping that shit. No, you're not, that should be in the closing right there. That's a hot song, though.

I'm not gonna lie. It is. It's always the go-toe song. It's like that song. No matter if a song, it's caught in my head. If I'm just doing something, it doesn't even matter if I'm jerking off. That was on purpose, though. If I'm changing, it's just like suddenly I hear like.

Yeah, but Corey. Corey, they got the fuck up. They got the formula for catching is down. Like, they knew that was catchy. That song is going one direction. To my playlist. Oh, shit. I don't even know that song.

And I'm happy. I don't. I bet he does. I bet he does. You don't know you're beautiful. Nope, I don't. You're insecure. You're beautiful.

I know obscure sound cloud. It doesn't even matter. You're so fucking beat. French artists. That's all I know. And fucking video game music. And video game music. We talked about religion for an hour and 42 minutes.

And one direction for about one and a half minutes. So wait. We can't stop. I actually don't think there's a whole lot to cut out, which is kind of good. Yeah, but I still want to keep gone, though. No, so we don't want to. No, we're good.

So, we, unless you don't want to. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, guys, guys, there's no rule that it has to be like an hour and 20 minutes. Don't think about it. That was just the standard. So, listen, we cover. So, guys. So going directly from just, this is also,

this is a little off topic, but it's related. Potato chips. Yeah. What about them? Where do they come from? What do they taste like? They come from potatoes, they're cut really, really firmly,

and they're fried. Shit. That's a short conversation. They're fried, Mick. What's your favorite potato chip? And season. Did you ever get a potato chip right, and you'd be eating it,

and it's fucking, like, green? And you just don't know what to do with it. Yeah, but that's when you were, yo? I have never gotten to green. No, no, no. What do you do with green potato chips? You're terrified of it. Like, you think your whole batch of potato chips is fucking ruined.

The first time I got a green potato chip, I fucking boss is. You're a kid and you think it's the poison. Yeah, exactly. I told my mom, because I was, like, spitting it out in my hand and crying, and I'm like, Poison! And she told me, it's just like, it's just, it wasn't, you know, like, the light didn't hit it in the house. Listen, what's your favorite potato chip?

That was my question. My favorite? Here's something that I don't get. I like sour cream cheddar. Yeah. Oh, sour cream, that's number one for me. Sour cream cheddar rips up my tongue. And you know what?

I really like salt and vinegar chips and everyone else is. a fucking pitch about it. I think it's okay, but I can't eat a lot because then it starts to like take some like it can't actually eat a hole in your mouth. Yeah no it burned it does burn the sides of your mouth. Let me tell you something that's a man chip all right you know what you can struggle You guys are a kettle. No beer and pussy chips is a man chip. Dude, I love beer and pussy chips. Have you guys ever had? Fuck yeah.

I didn't I didn't. I don't know. Kettle chips, their jalapeno flavor kettle chips because those are the hard ones. They're like really super crispy. They're fucking great. And the jalapeno ones they have are super softened. Cettle chips are fucking amazing. I love kettle chips. It's salt and vinegar chips.

A lot of people don't like them because they hate vinegar. And it's like, uh, we'll fucking get over it. You're a grown man. You know what? Vinegar is in like so many fucking things we eat. Vinegar is in everything we eat. I'm not a big fan of it. Guys, this made me actually think of something.

I'm not a fan of dill chips. Look, look, put salt and vinegar chips on a sandwich, mash it down. Put any chips on a sandwich This made me think of a really... Go to Jimmy Johns mash a fucking bag of chips in your shit and eat it It'd be the best day of your life

This made me think of a really good potential sponsor Does this... Jimmy Johns? No, does this service called... Salt and vinegar and potato chips by lays Wait, can I say this really quick though? Beer and pussy chips Does this service...

There's this service called Goopuff And what they do is they deliver like vape stuff They deliver like pringles They deliver like snacks and shit To like all hours of the morning I think that would be a really good sponsor Like, it's mainly a vague place.

They're not gonna have fucking spolts. No, they might. They're a Philly corporate company. They might. We just bash God for 40 minutes. Dude, our fans are all in, like, Netherlands and Australia and Great Britain. Also, how many fans are got in Philly? Anyways, anyways.

We almost have more international fans than national fans. It's a good idea. No, but go puff. Still, though. Can I... You know what I never understood with chips? You get, like, these, like, mystery flavor chips. Like, you get...

Like, you remember when Mountain Dew tried all these different flavors for about a year. You had like the blue, the white, all these like random colors. And it was all bullshit, like, Mountain Dew Garage Wall. Yeah. It's just like, wait, what? Mountain Dew Frost. And you're like... They were all... They were like, uh, wait what? It was like

fan voted flavors. Yeah. They ran unlimited. Why don't they have like these extravagant flavors that you know you could like show your friend like, you're like, do you guys remember? I'm eating curry chips. I've had curry chips. Oh my God. They've had curry. They're huge in our Before we wrap it up, we did have some questions from fans that we wanted to answer.

Just a couple before we wrap it up. Nile, could you please? And here's a good one. Yeah. Anything you guys are looking forward to this year. I'm looking forward to the rapture and hanging with my boy, G-boy. My boy, G-boy. I'm excited for all the awesome stuff Sleepy Cabin is going to do this year.

And a lot of shit coming up in the next couple months. That's not to hype shit, that isn't. That's literally what I am very fucking excited for. That's why I'm here. Nick Dinah Day's tattoo for some reason. Yeah, I tattooed myself. I am here in Philly. Shit is happening with Sleepy Cabin and that's exciting.

Niall, who asked that question? Those asked by Weebel the Waubel. Weble to learn how to field questions, man. Weigel the Wooble. Weble the Wooble. Also, I'm on board with Mick. I'm looking forward to some exciting, sleepy cabin stuff. Eventually we'll start doing cool show stuff.

Yeah, that's part of... Green screen. Yeah, green room. You guys need to sing more when you... Do you explain it? Yeah. Yeah, there's some tentative stuff for the future. It's not set in stone, but regardless, there is going to be more filming of projects.

Animation takes a lot of time, and that will still happen, but we're also trying to find other ways of, you know, puppet shows. I like how all these guys are calling bullshit right now, because it's been so long, but they don't know that it's... They don't know. It's all actually happening right now. So fucking sorry, I have a full-time job. They took you seven months to put something out. Now we've got some support. My full-time job.

Now there's some legitimate support. Yeah, thanks for all. It's working on a game. They don't know what's actually happening. People support us? It's already in the works. You know what? The people that support us, they know what's going on.

They get it. They understand. They're in the now. What about you? What do you got on the plate? What am I looking forward to? Yeah, what are you going forward? Releasing my first cartoon.

Ever? Yeah. I was reborn recently, so it's kind of a big deal for me. You're going to start making Christian cartoons? With lots of sex. Yeah. Christian sex. The real deal.

Are you going to reboot religion? Oh, fuck yeah. He's going to make it fun and sexy. Yes. Religion's too fucking old and fucking gray. Yeah. Where's the hot pink? Yeah.

And the wet girls. You're here to give it a nice injection of hot pink. I'm down with the hot pink. Yeah. But you're still nice to people and you still get it on a human level. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody does.

Awesome. Yeah, that's what I'm looking forward to. Rebooting religion? Yeah. Rebooting religion. And a good old sleepy cabin schniz coming up, the pipeline. Is that shit and jizz? How about we reboot religion into the trash,

and we suggest that everyone's be their own God. Or join the sleeping cabin. How about that? Be your own God. Join the sleepy cabin. Be accountable to yourself? I don't want... What?

Nile? What were you saying? the Sleepy Cabin Colt. Sleepy Cabin Colt. Just do whatever the fuck you want. Say whatever the fuck you want. Oh, okay. Don't encourage.

You do care. You do want to care. Don't encourage that behavior. I don't care, though. Because then you get people who tip cars. Yeah, we don't want that. How can you tip a car? You can tip a car.

Oh, I've seen it before, dude. You get enough people. It's easy tip a car. Yeah, he's just throw it over. You can get two guys in tip of cards. Depends on the car, yeah. Um, excellent. And what else do we have lined up in our

Q and A? Sleepy Cabin crew are enlisted. Hey, word Cole Fuck my A. Asks, hey guys. What's something you're passionate about besides animation? For example, I love martial arts. How about you guys?

Do you really, though? I actually did, like, karate one time when I was like, like... I did Taekwondo. I do Taekwondo, too. I was a yellow belt. Dude, I was a fucking green belt. Mick, you were a second degree yellow belt. I was a second degree.

I was a second degree. I was a second degree. You know what they do? They just give me. Like, they give you a piece of electrical tape. Wait, you were a yellow belt? You just drive a round of them? Yeah, you were yellow.

That's exactly what happened. I had two. Or they take a magic marker and drop it on it. I was a red tag, which means it was a red belt, which is next to it was last. Yeah, red electrical tape. It was insane. I didn't have an electrical tape on my boat. When I signed up for Taekwondo originally, I had, it was like an after school experience where it was just fun.

But then they started putting in grades. And at one point, they actually just took out Taekwendo altogether. And since it was only 45 minutes long. I know your story is really good. right now, but we were all in rec center martial arts. We have to stop that. He's not asking if we took martial arts. He's asking what your other passions are

besides animation and stuff. I had a story to tie it on with it. Okay, go ahead. It was quick. It's almost over. He moved in desks and our new teacher was like all about fucking report cards and stuff. And since all I got was bad grades, I didn't want to show him so I quit in an early grade because I didn't want to show

him my seat or I'd have to do like 50 pushups and get kicked in the face by people who... My martial art, my Ticwondo Instructed man, my parents called him Sir and they didn't like that. Yeah, he made me do the same thing. Or I'd have to be like 15 push-ups. I know, he was a huge faggot. He always.

Yeah, anyways. So, something else I do other than drawing is, um, like animation. Is that what he asked? Yes. It's art. What are your hobbies beyond art? Other than like sitting at your tablet? Look, oh, hey.

I think the answer is clear. I like cooking, okay? It's great. I love to cook. I love to cook, but I'm not doing what I'm doing normally. I like to play the trombone occasionally. I go for lots of walks. That's not a hobby

Yeah, dude No Why isn't it? Because you do that now No no I like go for I guess you could make Walking a hobby

You can't segment time For walking And call a hobby You have another existence Is it something You can be good at Is it a skill that you can No but I get lost

And can you perfect your walking It's kind of fucked up You know what it's valid for him He gets to line together I'm not saying it's wrong I was just trying to piece together It's not a hobby It sounded like you were saying

Walking is a hobby Fine I'm a professional blinker I fucking find my arts. I wasn't talking about your son about Nile. No, but I go, I like walk to place I've had been. I just keep walking under... You know what, Nile? I'll walk with you, man. I don't give a shit that he walks. I'm saying you do other stuff

Nile than walking. Don't lie. Are there hobbies? Um, I don't know, just exploring a place. You're insane, you have an amazing voice. Yeah, it's not really a hobby though. Sinking is a hobby. Well, I guess, okay, let me go over that. I sing occasionally too. Harmonize with me. Ha!

Quite beautiful. All right. No one knows this, but I actually wrote a lot of poetry, like a lot of poetry. In fact, I created... I bet you like to walk too, faggot. Faggot! You're a dick. Oh, well, I write a lot.

No, that was it. No, that was it. I got into poetry while I was in... I mean, I'd always kind of been into poetry, like, in New York. And then my taste kind of changed. I went from, like, Carrawak to Rambo and then finally to Lorca. And that's where I ended up with Lorca, because I, like, that was kind of like... Yeah, I actually write...

a lot of, like, I try to write comedy. I used to write music and sing. I actually have one of, uh, I actually have one of mix, uh, poems here now. Let me read it. Yeah, here we go. The night is dark. I'm horny. Oh, no.

It's a high color. Listen, listen, I was, I didn't, listen. That's great, man. It was an experimental face in my poetry. I believe in your creative vision. You didn't finish it. Okay. The night is dark.

Oh, no. The night is dark. Please blow. The night is dark. No, let's go. You sound like a psycho. The night is dark. The point of it was he to rhyme.

Then my boy came in. You're such a charlatan. Listen. What a new. Riming poems? Come on, dude. I used to like, get with the times. You don't rhyme poems.

You say things. Randomly. Rhyming's nursery rhyme. This is from Mother Goose. When I'm alone at the office, I sing up a storm. As loud as I can to get my vocals going. Yeah. Because I'm self-conscious about how I sing.

Black couch. I saw a black mouse. I sing all the time. ground walking around. I sing when I rhyme. Ground, beef. Drink lemon and lime. Look for it.

Beef grounds. I love how you throw your whole body into it. Like you're like beef brown. What is it the fucking the cafe house fucking screaming? What is it? What the fuck is that shit? Nile. Somebody challenged me to that recently.

It was like cafe house fucking rap-offs. What are they? That fucking. Bullshit. Oh, slam poetry. Thank you. Slame poetry. Nonsense poetry. I feel chains. Nonsense. I got brains.

You don't know. It's me. The people stand. I am the segment. You don't know. It's me. It hurts when I pee. I'm confused. About what I'm saying. Time to get some coffee. I'm done.

Peace. Well, drop the mic. You think about life. You drop the mic. Drop the mic. life. No, most of those slam poetry is always going to end with like half of a sentence. It's like

you come around into my face, you better get ready to. Oh yeah. And then they walk away. Most of them, they're just like, taste. No, no. It's, they don't. That's you wonder. That's what it's happening. Whoa. They're like, and you're going to come around again

and then. And then you walk on. And they walk away and everyone, and then like 10 seconds later they're like, and then 10 second I wouldn't never fuck the green Eminem

we're not Yes you would because her pussy's under her Scam Scam Alright Nile Last question What do we got?

What do we got last question? Last question Oh it's like Stamper's racing you Stamper got it No you know what Let's answer a couple of questions Rapid Fire And go without being stupid

Alright Nile My shit is fucking up. Get a question. Hurry. Hurry. You've all been tasked

with leading an expedition into space to find a new planet for humans to colonize. There is a space on the ship for all of you. Yeah, fuck that. The Sleeping Gabba Quo I like dick.

True or call. You know what? Go back and answer the first movie. Now I feel guilty. There is a space on the ship for all of you and an additional five people to make up the crew.

Assuming there are robots to build the infrastructure on the new civilization and there are settlers and cryogenic pods to populate the world. Who are the five people? You're boring with you for the trip. This is like a fucking quiz.

They ask you on a fucking algebra test. Are you kidding me? Yeah, dude. You know, wait. So it's all of us, and then we add five more people? I get it. It's cute.

You pick five people to bring way you on a squeeze. He could have summarized that way faster. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Alex Houston. Split it down. What was the summary? Give me the summary.

Give me the cliff notes. Man, you're getting fucking, you're getting blast in the space, right? And you need five dudes to come with you. else you're fucked. Oh, guess what? The sleepy cabin crew. Next question. Oh, God, you're dead in the day. Listen, I would say if we... No, they're dead to day. If we were already on there and we had five pods for additional people,

they'd all be girls, because... Yeah, we need to repopulate the... not the earth, but the other... Oh, no, but they said that they would actually be able to repopulate without girls. But they'd still be girls, just because... Why not? I need some pods. Can we bring the green M&M? Does that count or no? I don't think she's fertile. I don't think she can...

Oh, you know, we bring... You know, we bring the green Eminem and... We bring Smurfette, Gaggett, Bugs Bunny, and fucking... Fuck you. Ask the next question. What does it smell like in the sleepy cabin offices? Trash.

It smells like... It smells like... It smells like... Yeah, mixed between stale beer, um... Trash. Smoke, uh, B-O... Trash.

Uh, toilets, uh, coffee grounds. And dreams that are on the verge of budding. Trash? And trash. Or, all falling apart. You know, usually it smells like concrete and coffee. Yeah, you know, actually, it doesn't smell anything like garbage in here, to be honest. It smells like chalk.

Yeah. Kind of, yeah, that's the concrete, though. It's like chalk and cinnamon. What is that cinnamon? Oh, that's a Stamper got these things down here. Yeah, I got incense. There you go. It smells like fucking chalk.

Those are the oil sticks. Those are in incense. This are like the oil rods. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nope, Mobile Spider says, does Corey have any stories about his bed? Yo, fuck Mobile Spider. He got what's coming to him. Yeah, he's got a poster coming to him.

Yeah, he's got a poster coming to. to him. A story. Okay, so this is like the only time because I'm never going to talk about it. It's going to have any stories about his band. It's something I'm kind of like embarrassed about because it was like very mediocre

band playing. We just covered like it did. We just covered yeah, we just did covers of like punk and but it's like I had all these visions. I had wrote all the songs and I've always wanted to be a ska band but I kind of gave up on that dream just because like I wasn't able to really reach it

and my friends gone off and done like islandy, like, rock music, something you smoke weed to. And I just, I still like writing music occasionally, but I don't do it as much as I used to. So, in general, though, there's really nothing about my band. It's pretty much gone. I would like to do another band, but... Did you guys ever release any songs? I think we might have.

Like a demo or... How does everyone come up with their online personas, such as why does Mick call himself rice pirate? Okay. Can you ask that again? And like, it's a question. All right, so what's next? Zombie fly says... Cory.

Zombiefly says how does everyone come up with their online names and persona such as why does Mick call himself Rice Pirate? I'll start. Oh. Uh, I'm Stamper. Stamper TV. My last name is honestly Stamper. Yeah. See, you got it easy.

I think, yeah, I think either you go with your name like Krista's Oni for O'Neill and then Stamper. Again, Chris does only for O'Neill. Yeah. Let it sink in. People still don't get it. Oh.

People still walk up to him and call him wanting. shit. His last name is O'Neill. Surprise, surprise. O'Ne. It's very simple. And then Nile's Nile's Nile's, but I guess like with you with like Cryberger or whatever, it's like this, you know, it's just your kid. He's Nilely

the Defiley. Yeah, that's what I'd rather be called. Nilely the Defile. Or just Nile, yeah, I don't like me. Which is very similar to Zach. He made his name, Psychic Pettles, and he was a kid. Yeah. And he just strung two words together. Yeah. Exactly. I, it just stopped. I actually, because I had an older name, but it was from a game I played puzzle pirates,

and I played it for years, and it was King Priam. It was based, because I was reading the Iliad and some other fucking shit. But anyways, but I got into pirates, but then when I kind of stopped playing puzzle pirates and I moved to Newgrounds, when I set up my account, I didn't want to use that name and the two things. I mean, I'm Chinese, and my first name in Chinese is Mi Khe, and Mi means rice. So it was just rice, and then I liked Pires. So I just did rice.

I thought it was because you were half Irish too and you're like, ya, are. You're not Chinese dude. How do you say nail polish in Chinese? I don't know. Chin saw nail polish. I don't know. Cory, I didn't know you know how to speak Chinese. Dude, dude.

He is, dude. Anyways, yeah, so that's where it came. That was it. Nothing special. Just one thing I like, two, one part of my name and one thing I liked. For me, it was kind of like I had a character whose name, this is really stupid. His name was Spaz-Spazzy. Believe it or not, I was also really young.

I was also really young, so don't make fun of me. And so I drew him as a kid, spaz kid. I'm going there. Yeah. And I think we're on the same page with our audience. I don't think anyone can make one of us for anything. And I was a kid at the time. I was like 15, so I was like, I liked how this name Spass Kid sounds.

It has kind of like a cool like Spass Kid. So I was like Spass Kid. I like that. Where did the N3D come from? That, oh, the N3D came from being suspended. a bunch of times because I had Spaskett 12 then I had Spaskett 28 then I had Spasket XD

then I had Leastisket It just gets gayer from there Spasket on VHS Spasket on Blu-raying I had Spasket on DVD and Blu-ray but that got suspended within the first week so I was just like okay fuck it's spaskin in 3D and nothing happened like it stayed What was the relevance of 28 Corey? 28

That was just Google algorithm said like Do you want to be default? It's exactly what it was I went to spasket Spaskin. I'm like, I can't think of a fucking number. It was just like 28. I'm like 28. And then did that X-D because... Just so you can like troll even harder. You were just like, oh, God. I remember there was actually like a username generator

and basically it took like an adjective and a noun and just smashed them together. So like Ego, Raptor or psychic pebbles or Spacket. Yeah, it was called Xbox 360 Lawnmower gerbil. Yeah. Yeah, you just like My new ground's name was chainsaw dentist.

Yeah, there you go. That's not so bad. Which was, which I thought was actually good It was too fucking long. Yeah, it is long. And it doesn't really stick with spas kids. Yeah. Yeah, but if I met you, I could just call you chain. Hey, what's up, chain?

Chain's hot tennis. It works well. But you can call me Spaz. Yeah, Spaz I like better, too. It's applicable to you. Yeah, am I a spas? Yeah. Do I freak out?

A little bit. A little bit. I call you Ottsbone. Because you're really good at the trombone, and you're kind of autistic. Do you like Ottsbone? Can you laugh without smiling? Ha, ha. That was disturbing, Nile.

He's gonna look sad. Thanks for joining us. This is by the sleeping gas. That was really upsetting.