SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 26 - [Horny Goblin Fartscapades]

Episode Date: May 23, 2015

Jaxxy and Tomar join the SleepyGang to spit the shit about shit and spit! This episode starring: Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) Oney (www.youtube.com/OneyNG) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/ricepiratenewgrounds) Tomar (www.twitter.com/tomamoto) Jaxxy (www.twitter.com/jaxamoto) http://www.youtube.com/jaxamoto +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Paul Raymond, John Erlinger, Creeps McPasta, Hector I. Murillo, Dave Cummings, Timothy Smith, John Toomey, k0xfilter, skooks, Sonny Canchola, Liam Staley, Hayward Cole, Denis DeLong, Jace Baker, Duncan Neilson, Jacob Miller, Shane Danells, Trevor Wood, Brian Adam, Joseph McCarty, Samuel Matchain, Lukas Jones, Matt, ubernoobinator, Wrinklywiener Kenneth, Michael Westermeyer, Riley Paul, Drake, Marco Dimitrovski, Jacob Cronin Scott, Joshua Tully, Trevor Herrian, Lucas, Jack Prowler, and Heather Ann +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

On this crazy episode, we're going to discuss what you guys have all been asking for. Mick, what is it? What's the crazy? What's the crazy? Okay, what about it? Slippy. Thanks for listening. This has been good.

Thanks for joining us. Don't forget to donate to the Patreon. It's $100 for this great episode. Thank you. Fuck you. Slippy shirt's coming soon. There is a world as tangible as our own. Impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense.

A world enveloped by a sense. seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin, it's a bunch of guys. He's a bunch bullshit. Welcome to Sleepy Cast. I'm Tomar.

I'm here with... Jacksy. Ah, Zachariah, Zach Boy. Krista. Boo. And Mick, actually, there are a few questions if you want to start with a few questions from the patrons. These questions, if I'm correct me, and feel free to correct me. I will.

These people, these fine folks, these freaks, donate money to us to our Patreon. They fund us. They fund us our work and so forth. And they get to ask these special questions. They do. They get to ask questions like, why does Zach's voice sound all fucked up? Stop it! I'm not kidding.

There's a joke. There's a fucking real line. There it is. All right? From pale hound. Payle hound. take your money. I don't fucking want it. All right? This isn't a joke

even. I don't even want to do it even. No, no, no. Shut up. Here's a real one. And I'm actually curious, too, what the answer to this is. For all of us here. Nathan Brown asks, when was the last time any of you sexy, sexy men, women went on a vacation? And where did you go? When was the last fucking vacation? Vacation?

Ooh, like, like you, like you, okay, let me, let me asterisk this with. Let's clarify a vacation as someplace you go and do zero work and you go there just to relax, right? I'm on vacation right now. That's true. I guess this is it. We're Jackson and I are here on vacation in Philly because we just wanted to see our buddies so much. For those who don't know, these two, Tobler is a voice actor, Jaxi's an animator. They're married. Sorry boys.

And they visited us for anything called Picodei, which is Toppoop, a very scary man who runs Newgrounds. He hosts an event yearly. He goes on web cam. He lays back. It lays back. It's just moody and Jackie off. It's very creepy. Oh, yeah. But you guys might know them as Jack Somoto,

which is kind of like the Bradgelina. Brandjilina. Oh, yeah. They morph their names together. Yeah. That's the thing we did. Because, yeah, I used to be Tomomoto. Nobody calls me that anymore.

I do. I just go by Tomar. I always thought it was like a weird spelling of tomato. I just called you Tomato Man for a long time. The story behind my online name is stupid, it and I'm not going to tell it. Does it have to do with tomatoes? It has nothing to do with tomatoes.

It's some anime character, right? You can't just leave it now. All right. No, okay, there was a Sega GT ad. This was in Dreamcast magazine just to date it. That magazine, I think, ran for less than two years. So sometime in like 2000,

I thought this was a really funny ad, and it featured a character named Benimoto, who was just this really stereotypical Japanese man who was like, oh, Benny Moto, go Kiki Fast. I thought Bini Moto was a chef.

I thought there was a restaurant. There might actually also be another Benny Moto, but this was for a Sega GT ad. Right. And I just thought that was a funny ad. And so I went by Benny Moto for a year, and I was like, everyone's gonna think my name's Benny. So somehow, I'll be Tomar Moto, Toma Moto.

It's stupid. I told you it's a stupid story, but that's how I came up with my name. That's a better story than some of us. Yeah. You're a root full of stupid us names. So yeah, that's Jacksonie. That's Toma Moto. I like my...

Yeah, where did Jackson come from? Yeah, where did Jackson come from? Nowhere. It's just... It was the name of the character that you designed, right? No. It wasn't. Okay.

It was, it was, uh, it was Ajax that my friend gave it to me, my best friend from middle school, and then it just kind of graduated. I was kidding. I didn't think it was a bad user name. Well... I thought it was one of the better ones. It's easy.

It's psychic problem. Yeah. No, when I have to side by using it, I usually just, like, I fuck, because it's 14 characters. His name is his fault. yours is like five or six. Nick, you're in the same kind of bonus me

because you're usually Yeah, dude, mine is so stupid. I had no idea when I signed up to my account that that was going to be the name.

You know what I mean? That kind of associated with everything. Well, where did rice pirate come from? Oh, it was because I'm half Chinese, half my name means rice. Me is rice.

And Mick, Mika is my name and then I was into pirates at the time. Well, that makes sense. I know, but I still, I don't know. I'm not. Rice Pirates is a pretty cool name.

That's fine. I don't know. Okay, okay. So enough about the names. Back to the vacation But Zach, what's interesting is you said you had to specify Where a vacation is where you do no work Another thing that I think is important to specify

Is like I feel like a lot of times when we go on vacation Especially with family There is nothing relaxing about it Because you're thinking about work the whole time No not work because it's family Yeah it's family stress You're like the obligation of like going It's like okay it's dinner time or get up

It's already noon It's like oh my god It's very probably the books kind of It's very clinical It's like, okay, now we have to get up and have fun. Four o'clock is fun time. Right. Yeah.

It's almost like every time there's a quote-unquote vacation, I need like three days to like relax to like, you know, work that out of my system just because of the stress of my quote-unquote vacation. Vacations to be honestly, as gay as it sounds. I like the little moments where you're driving and you have like an hour to yourself or something. You just put the radio on. Like that's what vacation. Zach, are you saying that every time you get in your car and go for a long ride,

you call that a little mini vacation for Zach? I would say that, I guess. Gay. Yeah, last time I went on vacation was to New York with my parents, and that was like years and years ago. How relaxing was it? Not. Yeah.

Because they're like, let's go see the Statue of Liberty's like, cool. No one else does that. Let's go see the Empire State Building. It's like, oh, yeah, I don't blame. Look, they're big things. No, I know. But that's not your vacation. I just played GT4.

I already saw it all. Chris. Chris Neal. I swear. The last vacation, I quote unquote, went on. I guess Magfest was kind of a vacation. I mean, it's a little stressful, but at the same time, again, it's like friends, you know what I mean? Like, it's like you guys coming out for Pico Day, essentially, you know what I mean?

It's, you spend time. And this one especially, I feel like the more times we go to these cons, like, the less, we just end up spending more time with each other, I feel, rather than like, rather than, I think, I think that's more fun of time with each other, I feel, rather than, I think that is kind of what the point of vacation is, kind of beer of people that you like, rather than say a beach or whatever, the stereotypical, let's go to the beach. I think we're more fun with people that I know Like in a shitty apartment that I have Like a beach or something You know in the last beach I went to It was the same thing You'd imagine it'd be really relaxing

Go out on a sunny beach Just live So get the sun but it's not It's like all right We're gonna go store playing We're gonna go do this thing And it's like I just want to fucking lay For eight hours

I don't love the beach I know the beach I know this thing It's always like Oh let's go sunbathing You sit in the sand And little bugs jump all over you And then wind blows your shit in your face Then your sandwich gets covered in sand

And you have to chew through the sand You're saying It was not a fun thing inherently. It's like Appadipedee. You guys went to Thailand, right? Yeah, and we're going back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there, were there a lot of beaches you guys went to?

You stayed mainly in the city? We stayed in Bangkok most of the time. There was just, honestly, that was just an eating trip, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Are you guys going to try to get Pouquet? Lots of really good, really cheap food. Pouquet is really, really cool. Like, it's a very nice place. It's very beautiful.

beautiful beaches everywhere. The only problem was the last time I went to Bucquet, it was like 2005, and they had the tsunami that it hit, not so long before that. So you could see the water damage line on all the buildings, and a lot of them were still, like, a lot of the buildings were still kind of abandoned, and they got

hit really hard. You can see the silhouettes of kids, the drafts? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're like burned into the walls. And then, the one thing that bummed me out, I think, the most was, not that I'm trying to be a downer. It's a beautiful place, but the one thing that bummed me was like you see all these really

overweight, really grotesque, like from like a Sin City movie. Like just very grotesque figures that are like very pale and then they have like these 13 year old girls like rubbing oil all over their back. What are you talking about?

What are you talking about all the perves that go to Bangkok for like sex tours? But this is in Buket though. So this is all the... Or to Thailand in general I guess. Yeah. So it's like here are these people who just got all their shit. swept off into the ocean, then their children

are fucking, you know, getting like these pedophiles of fucking rub lotion all over their bodies. That was like the most... In notice, Mick. Have you ever had a 13-a-rup lotion on you? Don't knock it until you try it. When you do it, I close my eyes and imagine it. It works pretty well. That's a different subject.

I know. That is. It doesn't count. Rick, someone said about something like burned children into the walls. There was a joke, but did you know, if you ever see those like Hiroshima and Nagasaki, like, Shadows? Yeah, yeah. That's better. That was That was the Chris set it up. That was the reference.

Yeah. That's what was he's referencing. Oh, I see. But I was joking because it's water. Oh, I see. And they all drowned. They didn't get burned. Shadows burned into the ground by the non-saki guys,

and they're doing like shapes with their hands and make animals and stuff. Yeah. They're going to like thumbs up. Do you think there were any shadows that were like totally an accident? Like, there was a perfect silhouette. Yeah. It looks like, yeah. It looks like someone's sucking somebody off,

but it was just because of the distance. Like one was closer and one was further. They were facing each other or something like that. A guy was scratchy his assholes. like a punk bench and now it's stuck in this It would be really hard to get a perfect silhouette I'd be scratching your assholes Just like this, your leg up like

Oh, it would look like you were finger Like shoving your thumb up your ass or something It would have to be right on your fisting your butt Nick I've always said this is like a joke he thought I seriously thought about this Statistically Okay At least one person farted like one second before the bomb went off

Could you imagine a horror of like farting and having a bomb Could you imagine the horror that you would experience If that happened Imagine you're home looking you farting you hear a big fucking bobgob you would freak out dude that would terrify you you'd be traumatized

it would almost be as traumatizing you had PTSD to be farted it almost be as traumatizing is when Nikki was lying on the couch at the office and she was sleeping and you bent over and literally farted into her mouth and she got she woke up immediately let me give some context

because I like a lot of it's no I don't mean context you weren't that was the fucking sociopathic Were you drunk? No! He was horny, dude. He had a boner. He walked over with my desk and he looked at him over and he spread his ass.

He was like, p. Here's what he happened. There's what he happened. It was 11.30 a.m. and she was wasted. Okay. She was wasted. And then she passed out of the couch. And Mick and I, Mick was like, oh, it was screaming in her face.

She was a, she was a rock. She was dead. She was passed out, blacked out. And I was like, oh, she looks cold. Nick, she was. So this was an act of supathy on your fire. No, no, wait, wait. I did not fuck too.

her up, that is false. But I did get her blanket. Nick saw it. It was a good act. Yes. And I thought, wow, she's really dead asleep. And I looked at me and I was like, check this out. And I followed it, I got to let you, wait, if I put my ass right about closer her face, it wasn't even a big explosion. It was a little cute too. Yeah, but it was one year from her mouth.

And then she rose like a fucking, like, those ferratu. She rose like a vampire. We said it with True Love's fart. And it was fucking like woke her up. She seriously, her eyes, her eyes shot up in and she crossed her arms like a vampire sat up and I was crying laughing she kept hitting me and the harder she hit me the hard right left and the hard did she hit me the harder she hit you the harder she hit you the harder

you farted yes I was yes exactly I was gonna say that's so let me so don't make accusations like poor farting oh my god I'm a good Christian boy Jaxie that's terrible you are a renowned farter tell us about you passed I've been parted to the top time actually tell us what the journey to the sift that's what we're asking about dude Is it just a constant ripple? The legend, tell us, the legend. The legend of Jaxis' fault in 2012. I don't know.

What do you think? I'm deprived this whole time. You guys don't even know it. Tell us what the time that you were in the dark dungeon late at night all these years ago. Did you put your head up, the legs behind your back, and you farted. And it said a big ripple through the dungeon, and all the goblins and trolls died. They felt like flies in the winter. And you said, victory!

No, but then she needed to escape, so she found a torch. And then she lit the torch with her ass with her ass. Oh, Nick. Stop. Tomar was there. His old fact, yeah. He was the goblin. He was the goblin.

No, it's true. I used to be a goblin. That's how we met. I farmed on him. Another example. It cured me of my goblinism. That's a good religion. Goblinism.

This is the origin story of goblin? Yeah, Jaxie was the Big Bang with the fucking origin story of goblinsism. You started goblinsism. is Jesus, the goblin version. Don't like I cured goblin. Biggest religion in the world. Third, Scientology.

Do you think... Do you think people would still be Christians if Jesus was a goblin? Like, that was the only thing different to the whole Christianity, just that Jesus was a goblin? You can't prove he wasn't a goblin. He could have been a god.

That's an new theory. Take this to the sciences. The science... Goblin Jesus? Was Jesus a goblin? Question mark. Look it up. I hope spirit science proves it.

Some say when he got poked on the cross. goblin tongue stuck out like a snake and he hissed. And he turned in the ashes of fruit in the wind. Why do all restores? Like a spiral? Like, whew. Dude, if they ended in the Bible, they had like, at the front page, like,

Jesus is a goblin. I would totally be a Christian that Jesus was a goblin now. There could be, like, a hidden passage somewhere in the Bible no one pays attention to. Yeah, like on page 40, because everyone gets tired of like a few seats. And then on lower the goblin was for one. His forkin tongue.

Yeah, Jesus laid back and scratched his goblin tating. It's like, what, what is that mean? All of our loyal listeners, look through the Bible. Find goblin clues. Control F, the PDF of the Bible, and type of a goblin. You'll find some shit. We'll take any evidence. All the words that are in the Bible, do you think one of them is the word goblin?

No. You don't think the word goblin shows up once in the whole Bible. There might be a gremlin or two. I'd be surprised if there was a goblin. There's definitely witches in the Bible, but I don't know about goblins. Witches. Yeah, witches. With, like, I think David went to see a witch at some point to,

to, like, talk to one of the old dead kings, because he's like, I don't know what to do being the king of Israel. And he went and talked to a witch, and she revived, like, the ghost of Saul, the original king of Israel. And he's like, what the fuck are you doing? You're supposed to talk to witches? Why? The Jewish, dude.

Knock it off. He got no help from that. Did we all answer a vacation question? Oh, yeah. No, Zach's gay answer doesn't count. Where did you, when did you go somewhere? The answer is never. I think the last one was yours to vacation was when I went to Florida when I was like 13, 14.

I think. Yeah. Did you see the crocodiles? I saw the crocodile hunter. That's how he became an orphan. Chris, I was. I killed the crocodile hunter. It was being an outfit, swoon around.

You were the sting right? Yeah, it was me. I did it, guys. Sorry. It's been long enough. I have to tell. That's my big convention. If we go back and watch that video when we pause just right, if they look at the stingray,

well, we see your face in the mouth of it. It's me with the cardboard. Zach's has sticking down the water and go, oh, oh, go, oh, go, oh, go, oh, go. Get him away. He just wriggle off into the water. Yeah. He had it coming. He was fucking with me. Where'd you get the poison? He just licked him.

Oh. I just poked him with my tongue. That's all natural, baby. You do look kind of cold-blooded. Speaking of poison. We have another question. Are you guys ready? You guys ready for this one?

It's poison related? No, no. So X64 asks, if you could invent a new flavor of pop-tart-slash-toaster-strudle, what flavor would that be? Pop-Tor flavor. Pop-Tor Strudle? Yeah. Or, Pocter Flavor Flavor-Inception. Inception.

It's like fucking Pop-Tart Inception. I just make a Pop-Turt that tastes like the burnt inside of its own steers. You know what? I make a meat one. meat pie popcorn. What? I don't like that. I don't like meat and pastries. You're fucking Irish.

Isn't it that all your pastries have meat? Maybe I'm just, I ate too much when I was little. What? I would do like a human flesh one. It's not human flesh. Just throw it out there. Yeah, it's like bacon. Yeah, it's like bag on the meat. It's human flesh flavor.

There's got to be at least a couple psychos who would buy that. Be like, oh, okay. And then you feed it. I always wondered if someone put like human flesh down in front of you and you ate it, would you taste, like, would you be like, hmm? It would be, unless it was like, unless it was like, unless it was like how Hannibal did it where he was just like he didn't tell you and they're like oh this is tough

to rule yeah yeah I just feel like if you ate it the first time I ate human flesh I would not want to add like any kind of sauce or anything because I don't know what it tastes like on its own yeah dude the way they're getting mad if you were fucking dumping a one all over you know what I'm I can piss off if I got killed somebody ate me and they put A1 all over me

taste me for what I was like who would you eat first Jacksonie or Tomar same time Tomar both oh like a little doubles that's like a club sandwich yeah turkey and ham Exactly, yeah. I'll have some mix sauce and Chris pickles. I'll have some mix

I'll be a little more marbled. Like I'll, like I'll, you'd have a better, you'd have a better breast to eat. Really? No, because he's got more... I'm insulted. No, listen. Go on, Chris.

He's got more of, uh, he's got more of a chew. You say he's chewy? Why he's chewing be good? Chewy-goo-y. You know what I'm saying? Chris, you got stringy. I've said it a bunch of times. bunch of times and I'll stick to it that when I die I wanted my friends to consume my flesh. I call you titty.

Yeah, not like whole, not like whole steaks. And I don't think I taste that. It would be a tiny little bit. You work out too much. Yeah, you were. Just do some like pulled neck. You'd be like steak. And just kind of put it on a sandwich.

What's that? Some pulled mick. I'd be a, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you could do a whole bunch of different stuff, right? You could do like nice slices. You could do pulled meat. You could do a whole bunch of bacon slices.

Yeah. You can do anything with it. I just figured if I'm going to go into the ground and I'm going to fucking die, I don't know, maybe it's a romanticism of cannibalism. Do you really? Is that real? Not a lot, not while I'm alive, but after I'm dead. Really? What are you gonna do?

Burn me or bury me? It's just, it's just, it's a little waste. I don't leave in waste, okay? That's what it is. Very true. We saw how you finished that, uh, that, what was that? It was the yellow tail collar, yeah. Damn. Oh, yeah, your fish at the karaoke place.

Oh, yeah, he fucking put down like Vian the Rees food a couple weeks ago. No, no, no, but she's talking about the fishbowls. Like, literally, he like, he ate every last edible good of the fish. You know what the cartoons? You know what the cartoons? in the cartoons when the cat takes a fish and it sticks in its mouth and it holds out just a skeleton that's how I eat. That's you in real life. That's a documentary on you. What do you think is the grossest taste in the body? What do I? I would say maybe the eyes. I think the eyes would probably taste really gross because the eyes of most animals tastes pretty gross. What about the webbing of your fingers? I think that would be fine. I don't think it would be much flavor there.

Stop it. You cook it. What about? Toes, do you big fucking finger lips? What about the lower intestine? Oh god, that would be so good. That'd be probably good dude. Really, dude. I love how you were not into this at all, but now you're like, oh no, that would be awesome dude. Because it's like full kind of like shitty bits.

You'd clean it? You'd clean it. I don't want anyone eat my shit. That's what dude is. I thought intestines do kind of tastes earthy. Yeah? Yeah. Well, I mean, when you eat a sausage, that's wrapped in intestines,

people like seafood and that tastes like seapoo, so. Yeah. You like seafood? You like seafood? You don't like seafood? Yeah, I'm saying, everyone likes it. And it's just full of poo. I like your logic though, explain your logic why you don't like seafood.

You're talking about it? Because it's full of poo. Well, most, yeah, most crustaceans are bottom feeders. They eat a lot of poo. Yeah. I was eating crab legs and he was like, that was all over the ocean. That was like, he thinks it's, you know, you actually repuls by it. A shark rub that crab up its butt hole, you know?

I just think it's funny that when you eat like a crab, when you look somebody eating a crab, you think of a crab, like a nasty crab. Yeah, we know. I think the ocean's full of gross. Yeah. A crab? No, yeah, a little bit. Look it for you though. You like how much.

You like, like... I like calumari. You like cool? I like sushi. You like... I don't like fish by itself. Chris, if you were stranded on a raft in the middle of the ocean,

you had one bullet in a gun, would you just blow your brains out? Or would you sit it out for, like, the possible chance of being rescued? Um, hmm. I'd probably just wait it out. I'd like shoot an over-flying airplane

and crash into the ocean and eat their food. Just eat all the passengers. There's the last a lot. I love that with, like, one bullet on your raft, you're like, there's a plane! You're like, shoot him on the airplane.

He hits a pilot. the brain. No, you see him through the window. You don't have to the pilot and the pole pilot.

If it was a commercial airline. Yeah. I just imagine it just getting hit and then going completely vertical down.

90 degrees. Chris, he literally had to turn this airplane like a fucking jet fighter for you to hit with a head like that.

Okay, so first you wave and he's like, what is that? He turns his plane and he turns his way and he start waving at you and he shoot him.

He flies like one foot from the rapes what is that guy? What is you doing? What is you doing? You shoot with a face. One foot. Yeah,

It was like immediately... Don't kill you just from the wind. Chloe 20 miles away. So you guys don't have any toaster struel flavors? I was going to say, I wanted to get... I wanted to get your reaction. How would you feel about a Dorian-flavored pop-tart? Okay, here's the thing.

Here's the thing. There's no way it would actually taste like durian. It would have to be like what they do with, like, green apple candy, you know? Like, that doesn't taste like green apple. No, it's... Or grape candy. It doesn't mean... It has a really harsh...

It has, like, grape candy has... Because there is durian. Yeah, there is durian flavored stuff. But if it tastes anything like an actual, like a durian fig Newton, I would barf. I would barf. Those are two gross things. You know, I just, yeah, it is kind of like. I have.

They say the description of it, if you look it up, of a durian, and it's very accurate, is that it tastes like a sweaty sock filled with old yogurt. Smells like, ew. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds right. And in Malaysia, there were signs. There were like big exes at the movie theater.

Oh, yeah, the Nodorians. Yeah, no Doreans. It's illegal in a lot of places. Yeah. Yeah, because it's so stinking. What would you do again? Meat. Yeah, I would do a meat pop tart for sure.

What would you do? I said, I said human flavor. Okay. I said it would be human. It would be like bacon or something. What would you do? Finger webbing. What?

Finger webbing pop-tart? Yeah. So specific. Yeah. Can you elaborate? Yeah. You ever lick between your fingers? Ew, come on.

I'm kidding. You wouldn't actually eat, though. No. I still have my finger webbing, see? What would you actually eat in a cart? Apple pie. Oh, do they have one, Apple Pie? So that's a very legitimate response.

You know what would be cool is if they did some Asian ones, like a green tea and or like a red bean? I think Red Bean would actually make a lot of signs. There's surely an Apple Pop-Tart, no? Yeah, there is an Apple Pop-Tart. Okay, but Apple pie is just Apple, right? Duh. Well, then I'm wrong.

If it had the little, like, actual bits of apple and have no sediment over the top. Yeah, it's a little bit more specific. And what about you, Tamara? I don't know. The Dorian thing was just like... Oh, yeah, you're right, sorry. No, but I wouldn't really want that. I don't like Dorian.

I was thinking, like, something outrageous, like a Starburst-flavored pop-tart. Whoa. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. You're crazy. Get out of here.

Like, you just got a rainbow of all the main starburst flavors. And it's just starbursts in there. Mix them all together. There's a lot of flavors in Starbursts. It's like, yeah, it's a starburst. Can I read the next question? Yeah, actually, yeah, yeah, absolutely. But, you know, it's interesting because of that drink, the skittal, is that what it's called?

The skittal drink? Oh, yeah, I love that drink. Yeah, but what skittal is the flavor? Because there's lots of skittles. All skills kind of taste the same. There's a shot that people make that you add these ingredients and it's called the skittl. Yeah. And it tastes like a skittl, and it does taste like a skittl, but I can't remember which flavored skittl.

All skills doesn't just taste like when you have them all mixed together in your mouth? I guess that's kind of what it is. When I was a kid I used to do that I'd mash them into a big ball Oh yeah and then take it out and look at it And it's just this big white galang I used to do say I used to fix I used to take like three or four and smash

Yeah yeah yeah Why? Did you ever do you ever do Decapitate gummy bears and then add them to different bodies? Yeah All the time absolutely I did that I think all boys squeeze candy together when they're younger

I did that what you was I had a friend who we saw Squeezing murders together I saw the ex-restered sister family Roads in theaters, but I was like, I was a teenager,

so I was a little bit, my buddy was scared by it, and he bought Skittles. And by the end of the movie, there was a fucking bar of Skittles because he squeezed us hard because he was so scared.

Oh, there's a whole solid bar of Skittles. That movie's not even scary. But he was like, you know, he was younger. I don't care. It's not scary. It's not scary at all.

Well, you should have kicked his butt. I kissed him. That would have been scared. What? Yeah. That's right. No, but I made him feel stupid

of himself. I said, yeah, What do you think about that? You could kiss her. Okay. That's one word of these. That's great. Whoa.

Okay, wait. Okay, this is a good one. All right. You oaf. We got another question. From Dave Cummings. If you could live in any TV slash movie universe, what would it be and why? Ooh.

Ooh. I'm Dave. Ew. I'm just smart-ass. Dave. Dave. You want to live in Dave's world? Dave.

I want to go to Dave's world and kill him. Become the Dave. That's not a movie. Dave's world. Dave's world. I don't know. I'd like the Twilight Zone universe. You would try.

There's so many different universes. Only if I was Rod Serving, though. Oh, yeah. I can bounce around. Oh, okay. That's a good. All right. You don't worry.

You would make you have a shot of a rod sterling off. Do your best rod. I don't think I can do a good rod in the first place. Hans can do a really good. He's good at a lot of words. He's a good look thing. Rod does. What's the phrase he says?

It's like, you know, and you're no enduring dimension not only of sight wheel. A sound of mind. A portrait of a man. Welcome to the... That's not that man. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. This is the Twilight Zone. Oh, you're awesome.

You like that? Yeah. He kind of does that weird, like, thing, and he's got a cigarette inside of him. We're talking about how he's got the hair lip from his, like, military. He, like, got hit by, like, a grenade or something. What's the last one of the war? This is a real thing. He got hit in the face with a grenade, and he just got that hair.

It's amazing. That's the worst of a twilight zone. Is that a... Imagine you would... Or did someone make that out? That's told me that. Okay. Once was telling us how he lost his upper lip in the war.

I don't know if that's true or not. I know. I do know that he fought. A lot of those guys did. It's interesting. Rod Serling, J.R. Token, didn't want Disney. I think... Jimmy Stewart did.

Jimmy Stewart? I was so fucking used to... I was a Jew U-Tron. That was an almost real answer for a second. See, you're actually rotting your brain away. This is killing me. Every thing. Every right.

Jimmy Neutron. Elkid fiction. Pushed out. Oh, man. Imagine Jimmy Neutral of that. Fucking Sonic was in World War II. Of course.

Imagine Jimmy Neutral. Give me that's the failbuster at the end of Mr. Smith goes to Washington. This is a free country, y'all. So what TV movie universe?

Yeah. I'd go to family guys world and kiss. I'd kiss Meg. I'd love her to be her real husband. No, you know. I want to live in.

I go to Homer Giffin's world and kiss Lisa. You know what? You would actually probably be an amazing, an amazing family guy character. Hey guys, what the heck is this? I'll be Peter's friend.

Hey, Peter, let's go. You'd be Steve from an American dad. Yeah, a little fucking heard. Oh, you'd look a little bit like him. You have the voice. Ah! I go to like the hedgehogs, well. Eat chili dogs with him.

Salute the American flag Hang out with Obama Dude I would go I would go You ought to really go For real you guys Yes for real it

Rocket power I was literally about to say that I would I would be Why I'd say I'd be Tito's best friend He'd give you all kinds of crazy advice Yo

Hey Tito You'd be the new squid Zack You know that right Dude squid style Squid discovered squid style In that episode You're pissing me off

Do you ever see that episode Where they're like Come on squid, you're not a retard, do it. He's like, I can't do the skateboard. And they're like, do it. And he gets on it and he like goes down this leg. He fucking does a flip by accident. They're like, what do you call it? He's like squid style. It came up on screen. Thank you. Thank you for the history lesson, Chris. That's all I remember. I remember Tony Hogg looking like a yellow leukemia patient. Yeah, he had like corpse skating. He was like, hey guys, they all scream run away. I don't like this sport. What are you, Chris? Okay, so he stole rocket power for me.

I would live in the world of that Tubby Wobby, Pony Wifu video. Oh my God, stop it. No one knows what I'm talking about. I don't. I don't know what you're talking about. I would live in the world of Chris Chan. He's a little clue to. That's the real world. Wait, did it say?

TV show. Because you said Twilight's all I guess. No, I don't want to live with Christian. Okay, one more. I get one more. TV or movie. Okay. What movie?

Could Lord of the Rings would be couple of movies. No. Be gallop, dude. I was thinking Lord of Rings and Love, but no. Harry Potter, obviously. Okay. I would say, Lumos, and I'd find my keys.

Would you... Yeah, what if you weren't a magician? Yeah, what if you weren't magical? Because you'd be like a gym. I would be like... I'd be a squib. What if you were a dirty muggle? Yeah.

No, muggles don't even know about... I wouldn't care. What if you were dirty mougal? He could be. He could be all he is. If I was a... You wouldn't be any worse off, I guess. If I was a muggle, I wouldn't know about the magic world anyway.

It would be the exact same world. But if I was a squib, I'd know about the magic, and I would be able to perform magic. Chris, you should be shaved yourself for the other words. I'm gonna go home to drink a butter beer. I want to know this. I think you would know. Is it possible for someone who doesn't inherently have magic skills to learn magic?

In the Harry Potter world? Yes. I don't think so. No way. Wait, what about Hermione? They saw her midaclorians and they're like, we'll bring you in. Shut off. I was going to say Star Wars.

Well, yeah. The like the original, the Star Wars universe is very cool. Yeah. You'd get killed by Jar Jar Jar Jar. There's so many of... There's more... You make you laugh at it. I'd want to be like...

I always wanted to be a smuggler in, like, the Star Wars world. Like, doing spice runs, having adventures. It's just like a pirate. But spice runs... But Dune... Would you make the Castle Run in less than one million... That's what they call, like, drugs in the Star Wars University. Oh, are they? Oh, okay.

Spices? Yeah, that's what Hans Solo used to do. He does the Castle Run. Yeah, well, yeah, but he's smuggling weapons and... spices, right? That's what he does. So who are you? Hans or Chewy? Chewy? Obviously. Do it, do it. Do the thing.

Yeah, there you go. Chris, Chris could do a really good hot solo. He does a face and everything. Hello? Oh, shit. Star War! Star Wars! Hello, Chewy. Hello, Chewy. Chris, do the Hans Solo smile. What about you, Jaxie? What about you, Jaxie? What TV movie fiction?

the world would you like to live in? I don't know. I was thinking Dragon Ball Z because you can't die. Why didn't I think of that? Because he just can't die. If you were in the Dragon Ball universe, you'd be a human. You'd be a human.

You'd be a Humon. Yeah, the saints would come to your planet and blow it up. Great. But I wouldn't die. I'd just come back. Oh, yeah. I'd just get wished back. But they'd be stuck in that creepy office with the big guy.

Or the home for infinite loser. Yeah. And you could. can fly. You just have to learn how. Yeah, anyone can. You don't have to have the metaclorians or any part of them. They use chi. You just try it really, really hard. You just have to use your cheat. Tien is the ultimate

tryhard. He even grew a third eye. If I was a go-cruz-rule, they could fall in love with me to break his heart. He could never recover from that. That'd be the one that he kills him. He'd gather up all the dragon balls just to wish you back to loving him. And the dragons, you can't do that, man. It gets the rules. Right, if Goku got an erection and you slapped it, would you break your hand or what? Absolutely.

But no, but what it's like... You have a chance. It would you? No, but it's still a cock. So would it like flop or would it just literally... It would just... Only Goku can suck is cock. What is our...

What is the general consensus about Goku's Superman or any other superpowered character that comes? Does that shit blow a hole out the other side of somebody? No, she's cute. It's come. I'd like to think Goku... I'd like to think Goku, we never see him training his, like, Kegels or anything. Yeah. He might just have normal, normal genital abilities.

What it sucks for him? That's what I always would be, you know. Yeah, what would be just this tiny little, like, tiny little, fucking nutpecker. He's a good god. Why would it be tiny? No, what if? That would be the butt plug up his ass and clenched his ass, would it just come out as powder or what? Yeah, it would shatter it.

No, he would destroy it. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. He would absolutely just go out. He would have to try. He could smash that in dust if you would have to do. wanted to. His brain.

He could just use his brain and smash it into dust. See, we're asking 180 questions while your users are talking about Iran in the Middle East. We want to know

what happens with Goku shoves a book plug up his ass. These are the real questions America. Wise up. Wake up, sheeple. All right.

This is an interesting one. This one isn't quite as funny, but I am curious. There are some answers here. Is it thought-provoking?

It is thought-provoking, and I'm curious what your answers are. John Toomey asks, as technology progresses, the near future, what improvements do you hope come to the process of animation? In other words, what do you hope becomes more simple in the future of animation? I'll tell you what, look, I think in the future, if there could be a program for, like, basically, like, essentially a program where you could do, like, backgrounds, like, Photoshop, basically Photoshop or Tube? Sorry, excuse me, Photoshop slash Naked Studio, like a background program,

like the linework of Toon Boom the simple layout of Flash like if you could basically combine every great feature into one program so basically if I could switch to a different layer and paint the background and do a different layer and do animation that'd be great I'd love that and the linework would be good and consistent

If Magus Studio... Flash I had to zoom in really far to get good flashlights and if manga studio had a timeline it would be the best one Yeah but I think a good The biggest issue with Toon Boom besides like that it's convoluting is that it's kind of unappealing to look at the interface is kind of Walky to me.

Yeah. It's not that fun to use. Toomb Boom. Flash has a really good interface. Like layout and stuff, but it has a lot of issues. Yeah. I don't even if you have very few issues with bugs and stuff, but it has a disgusting layout. Yeah.

So if you can combine all the great features of the one program, it'd be great. I would love that. Well, there was that program that came out. What's it called? TV paint? The one that does the in-betweens? I don't know what that's called. Oh, I don't know.

All right. I don't trust it. I don't know. Well, I've seen some of the results, and I think Harry was testing it out. Oh, I saw that. Harry was posting it, yeah. Yeah, he was testing some of the tests of it. And it seemed fairly accurate for simple things.

Like, if you're going to do a very subtle, like a head turn or... Oh, yeah, that would be good. But, like, yeah. I mean, nothing's going to replace, like, oh, my hand turns in from a hand to a shock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Have you guys seen that stuff Pixar was putting out with the 3D, 2D? Oh, the paper, what's it called?

There was a specific short film they did it with, right? Paperboard. Paperman or whatever? Yeah, paper paste. Well, I did, like, a demo where, yeah, it was showing all the different styles you can do. I feel like that's the future. So it's basically you create a 3D rig but it prints out.

But then it makes everything 2D. I just want to see 2D come back in general because what was the last 2D Disney? Well, Disney online actually continued well I don't know if they continue but they've been posting shortly after they made the announcement that they weren't going to make any more 2D features they started posting these

kind of Mickey Mouse. I saw those. Those are very well done. They're very well done. Yeah, yeah. We have a friend that works on those. I love those. And like the style is like a really nice mix of modern and old. Yeah, I like it a lot. Yeah, no, it's very well done. I mean, like, in a sense, we're like a theatrical...

Yeah. I thought they pretty much said they were never going to... They did. Well, it might come back. I hope, man, because... But what's the future of 2D then? 3D... TV shows. 3D, 2D, yeah.

Yeah, that too eventually. Because with 3D, you can make it, like, mechanical, and you can have a robot do it, like, in the future. Let a robot, you know, like a program. It's all easier to do with that. But with 2D, there's pretty much that you can do, besides drawing it by hand. Well, I think the auto

in betweeners are going to be a real popular thing in the future. Yeah. The reason I prefer a 2D though is because if you're a kid, there's anything better. Like, a kid really can't draw a 3D character like a paper. There's something really nice to me at least

about a kid watching a movie or a TV show and drawing it on paper like replicating fucking Spudgebop or whatever he wants to draw. Yeah. SpongeBob is a hard motherfucker to draw. Yeah. He was one of the first characters

learned how to draw. Really? Like Goku. He had a Goku. Yeah. there's like weird two characters to pick, but... Does anybody mind the fact that the Go-in-the-Dragon Ball universe, all the characters have like two faces?

What you mean? Oh, just the Toriyama just kind of has... Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's the same face as the guy from... Dick Thorhead. Oh, you're saying they all the exact... Chrono Trigger. Yeah, chrono-trigger.

Yeah. He's also the Dragon Warrior. Time Gun. I'm okay with that. I'm all right with that. I mean, Western shit has kind of a similar thing. Like, everyone looks like the Simpsons and that one. A family guy.

Brickleberry looks like the family guy. Yeah, I feel. Yeah, I feel like that's all the people who have these distinctive styles that become famous all kind of exhibit that pattern where they really have a specific way. They draw each gender and they don't deviate far from it. Every show in the 60s from Hamabinole look the exact same too, they all have the exact same character designs. I mean, it's just a trend. It's like every 10 years a new, Reddit Stippy changes a lot of the way cartoons looked in the 90s. It's like, you know, in Tenture did it too.

Every 10 years or so a show comes along. They really fucks with how people draw, which is fine. but. Red and Stimpy was awesome back in the day though. I like that. What? No?

No? I like, I like it. It's iconic. Yeah. I think the one thing they did that I really, I really miss about

TV shows at least that are cartoons is painted backgrounds. Oh yeah. Nobody's really done it in the world. I mean, we have like nice kind of vectory, even a hand

like, but I haven't really seen like a... Shad was doing those for everybody, though. Have you seen Stephen Universe's backgrounds? I love those. Are they like painted painter? Are they kind of,

It's like Splodgebob where they're kind of squabody. No, it's like, well, they've got these big lines in the background for sunlight, but they look really great. Cool. I noticed Inventure Bros. Because I was watching one, like, the first season. But I noticed with the backgrounds, I don't want to say they're lazy, but they're clearly stylistically. They're very simple. They're very simple.

But I noticed, um, in one. That shows evolved a lot artistically. No, no, no. It absolutely has. But in that first season, what I noticed, they were in the desert or something. And I realized. because of the sand, I could see the brush that they used. And they were just like clicking it around.

And then as the scenes progressed, like even when they're inside the ship, even when they're in a house, even when they were using the same fucking brush. Like every single time. That weird like a splod. Yeah, it's like a splenched. Yeah. You showed me that before. Yeah. But I was just like, all of a sudden, that's all I could see.

But I didn't mind. I mean, clearly it still works, you know, as far as the show is concerned. But yeah. This question comes from German McSperman. German McSperman How big is your dink? How stubert, stop asking this. How stink is your thing?

Every episode you ask this, we're never going to answer it. Stop, leave us alone. I hate that in the room, though. Stop coming to our house. Just answer it and he'll start. You'll go away. What's the question? Yeah, how much stinks on your dink?

How much stink is your dink? How much stings? You're not count to me. I have my stink of my stink of my stink. How many stings can a dink, dink, shank. How much stings can't? Here, let's skip that question again. Yeah, I'm sick at him.

Sorry. All right, so here's an actual question from Helgi Marr. Talk today. You know that's a little reference for you. Helgi Mar Bjornninson. Yeah. I'm not kidding. He says, hey, guys, how many jobs have you guys had through the years and how were they?

How have we never been asked that before? How way? I don't know. I mean, there was a, yeah. No, there was that, uh, the, the one with the Power Rangers, what was it? The shitty jobs. Yeah.

I don't think we need to talk about all of our jobs, but, I mean... Like, real-life jobs? Yeah, real-life jobs. No, no, no. Outside of animation, before you were doing your voice acting, Tomar, before you were doing your animation, Jacksonie, before Zach became a child

prostitute, and before Chris... I was sexy. I want to hear what voice acting jobs Tomar is done. Really? No. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather talk about... When I was 14... the first

job I ever did like that wasn't you know just for like a family friend or whatever it was actually it was for my friend's dad but he

invented this thing I guess is it cool if we mentioned brands he created I don't want to get anyone in trouble for child I don't know

I don't get anyone in trouble for child labor laws just describe so but he more or less he had like a sex toy factory this is the best this is the most

This is the most generic I can make it. Not really. He invented a product that was made exclusively for people to have sex on top of. Okay. I mean... There are these shapes and they change the angle of penetration and whatever. No, it's a pillow. It's a thing he invented...

He invented the pillow? And it's Homer fucked it. But it's a... No, it's like an interesting way. So no, one of my first actual, like, job jobs, which I only did this like one or two days. Were you a tester? But I worked full days.

No. No. I was working in the factory on the assembly line putting these things together. Which, yeah, in itself is pretty innocent, so it doesn't really matter. I was 14. But I know exactly what these were for. But yeah, there were just these big foam shapes, and we had to, like, put the, like, sleeve around them, the, like, the machine washable sleeve. Oh, gross.

And then put it in a little, it's a little, like, carry tote bag and put it in the box for shipping. Sweet, dude. That was, that was my, I think that's the most interesting, like, early job I had. But you knew what it was for even then? Oh, totally. I mean, I was 14. Yeah. I was a horny 12-year-old. I definitely knew what it was by the time I was 14. Yeah.

Does it have like grooves for like the butt? No. No, no. It was just, it was an angle. It was just like, there were little pillows where you could just like raise someone's like butt up a little more. Okay. Or like big ones where you could like lay back on it. It was like Tetuous pieces, but you fuck on them. This actually sounds like one of those like workout things like that pull-up bar.

This was a successful product. Business is still going. Cool. And children still work there and attract their tape. Please go hold on the other video. Please call for help. Well, yeah. Nice.

What about you, Jax? My most interesting job? Sure. My first job, I worked with my parents, and I'd like go into people's houses and tear up carpets. And I remember one place, it smelled like asshole.

It's because you took the carpet's up. Yeah, well, when we tore the carpet up, We saw all the stains from all the cat piss. Oh, yeah. And this was like a real cat lady's house. Like a real cat, like a hundred cats in this place. And we tore up the carpet. And I just remember, like, when we tore that carpet up,

the stink will never leave my nose. Just burn your eyes. It burned my eyes, my nose. The chemicals. Or the, yeah. It's almost like, you know, what's it called? Like, the water that rests where you get your welled water. Like, it goes through the dirt, and then it rests on that.

that rock, like that layer, and it just kind of seeps into the... Septic tag. No, Zach. There's a name for it. Anyways, it's kind of like that, where it seeps to the rock. And then it just stays down there. It just stays there and just kind of like... Maronates?

Yeah, it should remind you that if you move into someone's house and they have pets and those pets have been pissing on the floor and you're like sitting on that carpet or rolling around on that carpet, you're just rolling around and fucking animal piss. Yeah. And no matter... I mean, you can clean it when it happens, but... If you don't clean it, and you leave it. Yeah.

That lady was probably so used to to smell a catfish, she didn't even realize. She was so old, yeah. I'm sure her nose was just broken after all these years. The guy's fucking batty your face around? Because I remember this house, because I drive by it all the time. Because it was like on the way to whatever, my school or whatever. Yeah. And yeah, I just remember like, oh, I finally am going into this place,

and it smells this bad. Yeah. Does the lady die? Is that why you guys were cleaning the place? up, did she pass away? No, she was just won a new carpet and thank God she had a flooring business. She had cement under the carpet

but even worse for the carpet Right, it just sits there. Oh yeah, you can't sink it to the ground. Yeah, it was the worst. That was the weirdest job I have. What about you, Zach? I've talked about my job at fucking Arby's. That was the weirdest job you had? Not the weirdest, but it was horrible

I hated it. What was the weirdest one you had? I mean, I got the animation pretty much right out of high school. Okay. That was, I worked that job most through high school, but that was the job. If you always worked fast food, that's the job where you literally think about suicide for real. Really? Yeah, you're just like, oh.

That's what I felt. I worked in warehouses after that. Like, I worked in the Target warehouse for a summer. Yeah. And I, like, it's just, there were 19 of us, but we were processing like 2,500 boxes a night. Jesus. And it was, it was soul crush, yeah. The worst thing about a job like that is they have, it's a thing.

if it was not busy, they have you do other jobs, which would be fine, but they... So I would go from, like, handling people's french fries to, like, cleaning out a fucking toilet or, like, a gutter. Like, let me the gut with those little... You know, those little, uh, those drains, like, in a middle of that restaurant? Those things, oh my God. It's like, the one thing I was like, please,

put me on that. I, like, yeah, like, I go fucking do it and I can pay. Oh, you mean, where all the, like, grease and shit goes? All the grease and wooled and fucking filth. And I was like, okay, back to fries. And I was like, uh, ha. How much did they have to... Grabbswood's fucking turns to the toilet polish from

for him. Disgusting job. But a polished... The turrets. One time this guy didn't polish the guy's turn it off. The guy came back with a gun and killed that guy. So we had a policy of specifically having good polished turns or the customers would leave. The boss had a very strict

turt policy. It was ridiculous with his turn policy. He would actually kill around in his coat pocket when he worked... That's honestly like a twilight zone episode. Seriously, when a new company would be there, he'd walk over with a suit with a cigar and the box with Paul, I'd heard of his pocket. He's like, this

was the first tour I ever polished. This is the standard of this restaurant. That's... I just put it back into his jacket. That's such a horrible nightmare world he just created. That's real! That's real! He's fucking rich businessman walking to an Arby's and they find polished turrs and suck him up their ass and leave and pay. I didn't know that last part. I was

totally PC about it. What else are they going to do with the polished turks? Kiss them. For good luck. Break it in half. They could go to Arlington for the Blarney Stone. Put them back up their butt. All right. Sorry. What? Chris.

You go. The only job I've ever had Well, okay, so when I was small, I worked for my dad and his warehouse up until I got... You're small. Why do you use that word? It's like you're like three years old. You're like, you're like, you're like, small. Because he used to get me helping him whenever he could. I just remember. He wasn't bad or anything. He's just like, come help me. I'm like, all right. So he put you in change. You used you as like a doorstop? No. He's like, carried this box up that stair. I'm like, okay. I've got a really weird memory where when I was a baby and my dad picked me up by the head and put me on the couch. Like one-handed? That's a lie. One game is falling out.

His dad, he got him. His dad freaked up in the head. His dad freaked out and threw it down. My body fell off. My head stayed in place. He was soda back on. What's your dad like? Because I remember hearing your mom on Skype and she sounds just like female you.

Yeah. So what's your dad like? No, he doesn't. They were very pleasant. They visited. They were very nice. My dad looks like a vampire. His dad looks like him with the guitar hero and shirt and everything.

Yeah. Oh yeah. This is from GameStop. Is it really? Wow. Yeah. Chris, you know, I don't know any, like, brand shirts. You have a guitar here.

You have, like, what were you were yesterday? I forget. I've got a million. I've got a million shirts I bought when I was 16 in Hot Topic when I visited America, and I still wear them. I don't think I have one shirt that's, like, a thing about it, like, one of those. That's a shirt. I have a, I have a breaking bad, low, point of somo shires. I don't know if it exists, but if it does, I will pay someone who's listening right now

to send Zach a pair of Sonic the Hedgehog, Tides, where the little logo of Sonic, you know, he's in that ring. at the beginning of the game, it's like right over his weiner. Or asshole. Or asshole. Yeah. Probably make that. And then you can stick your wiener out, kind of like he does when he comes out of the thing. What's the bounty on there? $10.000. $10.000. If it was over in an assel, you cut a little slint and he could poop it and come out of his little thing.

I never... I never get served alcohol when I wear these shirts. Really? It's because you wear a shirt's a 14-year-old. Yeah, I know. But I like it, though. When it makes you comfortable. Chris. Like wearing fucking

shitty shitty fucking guitar hero shirts and Halo 3 shirts. You have a Halo 3 shirt? Yeah, I was wearing that the other day. I've got a fucking PlayStation these are all from GameStop and Hot Topics

Chris are the corner of a little like my initials MC. Something like that fucking gay. Yeah. Chris is a three good for you wear his like

play on. I do a family guy underpants. No, you don't. I do. And I've got SpongeBob underpants. Oh, cool. That I believe.

I'm jammas. I've got lots of different Now do your SpongeBob underpants look like his pants? Like is it just brown with some pockets on the sides. They're brown all right, but...

Chris, I'm here. No. It's more like a yellowy swamp. Yeah, there's yellow on there, too. Okay, so they were white. They're brown and yellow, and I just call it my SpongeBob on the page. They're white, yeah.

Gross. Nasty. They're also damp like they're in the ocean. It never occurred to me until now that SpongeBob is just all, like, potty colors. Yeah, you'll see in a time. Yeah, and then his eyes with his nose looks like a dick and balls

fucking... You were a perver. You were a perver. What I'm talking about? He's what he's like. Don't ignore the truth. Yeah, face it. And Patrick looks like a big butthole. Yeah. Patrick's a big starfish.

He's a starfish. He's the pink starfish. Yeah. Yeah. See? Whoa. Oh my god. That's right.

Dick and Starfish. What are you? Dink and starfish. So there's a pink starfish and poopy colors. There's some obvious. So what's Squidward? Squiddard's a big butt plug. Yeah, I said it.

A big blue butt plug. And Mr. Crabs, come on, guys. You could give more obvious. Wait, no, Squidward, have you ever seen that video where the Japanese girl pushes a squid out of her pussy? Oh. That's what Squidward is. I thought that was a deal. Oh, you're right.

It's not real. I thought that was an eel, though. No, there was an octopus girl, too. Really? I don't think I've seen the octopuses. Ew. Do you imagine that? Like, they pulled down their pants and there's just like a fucking squid

A blue squid? What would a blue squid be a sexual innuendo for? I told you a butt plowing. It sounds like a sexual... Dude, he's a big fucking head, too. Let me show you my blue squid. That's a busted-ass blue pussy. Yeah, it sounds like a rotten old pussy.

Ew. I don't know if I said this already. What was the question? What problem is? It was the jobs. It was the jobs. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I said it already, but did I mention that I worked at a strip joint?

Really? No. Oh, I guess I haven't. All right. Were you a stripper? No. I worked as a doorman, which is slash the initial bouncing.

It's like phase. It's like the pre-bouncer. Because they actually have the real bouncers inside. Those guys got like tasers and shit in case people go like wild on the girls. They need to be like pull them off and shit. But it was in Washington. So it was a dry bar. So there was no alcohol.

They had soda and stuff. Wow. But my job isn't. That is some sad shit. Yeah. My job ended up being a whole bunch of weird shit where like I'd also have to be the lot guy. I'd have to go and make sure people weren't like fucking or doing. drugs in the parking lot. And then also, sometimes I'd work the bar, which basically meant I made

the sodas clean the glasses and gave the girls candy when they got it off the stage. That's creepy. How old are these girls, dude? Okay, so I ended up dating one of them, which is a really big no-no. I think you told me about that. Yeah. So one of the girls I ended up date, I don't need to name her. She had two names. Obviously. No. But, um, so one of the big no-noes is that you don't ever, ever, ever date the girls. Like, that is something. And even after you quit the job, You can't even go into the... It was a deja vu establishment, but you're not even allowed to be in one of those months after you've quit. Why?

Deja vu. Yeah, well, showgirls. I think that was the first strip club I ever would? Yeah, they're a chain. They're everywhere. Why aren't you allowed to go back in if you quit? Because I guess it's like they think you went to go meet girls or something, so then, like, you're not supposed to be able to... Oh, I thought they were afraid you were like a psycho who's going to come back in and shoot a place.

I don't know. I mean, that might be part of it, too. I mean, the truth is, is after we started dating, I quit, because the bounces there are fucking crazy. There were these two guys who they said, every night after their shift it was like 3.30 in the morning or something, they'd get in their car, going to downtown Seattle. This was in Kenmore, but they'd go to downtown

Seattle and they'd find bum sleeping on the road and tase them in the balls until they pissed themselves. That was what they did for fucking fun. And so when we were outside and they're telling me what they do for fun, I was like, fuck, I fucked up, I need to go, I need to quit immediately and not be here because

these are the guys who have they found out it's not like the mafia or something like that, but clearly the rules are a little bit So they're still a little bit kind of shady. It's a strip joint. Yeah. It's super funny. Yeah.

But it was a really weird. I don't know. It was weird. Like you'd do the lot and you'd see like, you know, the baby, like world's best dad sticker on the back of the binny van. And you're like, oh, okay. And then, uh... Oh, it's a... I always assumed strip clubs were just full of, like, discruddled, like, 50-year-old men who would have got divorced.

You know, it's a mix of, like, young guys. There's a mix of, like, young guys for, like, bachelor parties. And then there are some older guys, too. Um, there was one guy who'd come in who wanted to be, you. he liked being embarrassed so they'd like make him lick ash trays and like do all this kind of stuff and all the girls wanted him the fuck

would be around too because he tipped really really fucking well. Is he one of those guys who who makes the videos where he said girls like like small dick loser? Yeah yeah absolutely that. It was absolutely that and then for um yeah yeah I don't know just in general it was really weird it was fun for about a half hour and then it was like the most depressing thing I ever saw

because it was like all these girls, you were asking how old they were. And there was a really wide range. There were girls who were like in their late teens all the way up until, you know, probably 45 or something like that. And one of the girls who was really, really nice, she actually went because she was trying to pay for college. But then when it ended up happening was that she got so much money that she got an apartment. But then she also got a car. And then she also got a dog. And then she also got.

So then her lifestyle all of a sudden required a certain amount of money that she wasn't then also. saving for college and then got to a point where she couldn't stop because she would lose her apartment, her dog or her, not her dog, but like her apartment or her car. Well, eventually when she gets through college and gets a job, she can stop. But she didn't, she was saving up for college, but then she ended up using it to create that lifestyle. Well, I see. Yeah.

Good for her for working so hard. Yeah. Yeah. They make a lot of fucking money. Yeah. They make a lot of money. Even the, I mean, this deja vu wasn't even that fancy and it wasn't in like downtown Las Vegas.

The one that I went to was like a solid C. Yeah. Those girls are still making them. They're still making a killing. I know. The ones in, like, Vegas, I guarantee you're making so much money. Oh, yeah. Yeah, in like those nice places. Do you think you'd be a stripper make?

Um, Mick would be an excellent stripper. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. You'd be a tease. When I was in, when I was in Mexico City, we ended up going to a strip joint. It was a ladies club. So it was all these men who were dancing.

Why did you go there to meet the ladies? It's a long story how it ended up. up happening. But anyways, I ended up going to this place with a group of people and it was actually really entertaining. Like there was a guy, like I remember a screen came down. This is in Mexico city, by the way. A screen comes down and they played a scene from backdraft. And then all of a sudden the screen started going up and you could see, it was in the darkness, but there was like the firelight that the spinning red light. And you could hear like the siren. And then as the lights came up, you saw the light was on top of a ladder and a guy came out in like a fireman's outfit. And then like

he started stripping to that. And it was actually really, it was kind of funny, but it was also kind of classy. And it was, you know what I mean? Like, it wasn't just like some girl rubbing her fucking titty's in your face. Make me honest. Did it turn me on? No. No, no, no.

Listen, you saw these guys stripping a little bit, right? You saw these guys take it down. Yeah. Did your penis at least move at all? Did you move a little bit? You're like, oh, no, I need to get out of here. Did it, did it twitch? Yeah, did it, did it bleak before, yeah.

I think it made it, it may have twitched. It may have. Thank you to be honest. But, um, but, um, but, um, No, no, no, no. But the best part, I think the coolest thing was, is that they brought up these girls that were up there, and they'd bring up all sorts of girls. Like, it wasn't like they were singling out, like, some pretty girls or something.

Like, they'd bring up all sorts of girls, and these guys gave them such a show. And you can just tell, like, they were all so happy, and there was no, like, there was no, even hinting at taking off, like, his banana sack. You know what I mean? Like, that's, yeah, but it was still really classy in that way. He can't really? shove her hand down there? No. No, really?

I would have done that. I would have grabbed that. No, but he got his butt in her face, and she got to squeeze his butt a little bit. I would have got that fighter's pants to grab this hose and water myself down because I was feeling hot. That's what I would say. Do you guys ever see those porns where it's like, there's like a million girls in one room and they all look really like, none of them ever met each other before?

And then a male strip will come out and all start sucking them up. Yeah, I have seen that. And it's like, whoa, dude. Is that like a thing in Brazil or something? No, it's not a thing at all. It's all fake. Oh. Because it's always like all the girls are like,

yeah this is a bachelor at party yeah I know looking at sort of really nervously and none of them have ever met before and then they'll just start like sucking the guy's dick and he's like okay cool I want to be that porn actor but this isn't real aw kind of like the fake cab thing right

the uh... fake taxi no the taxi one the taxi dude yeah yeah the British dude yeah what's the British dude this is a British guy called fake taxi and he's always like I want to suck your tinn he'll be riding and then they'll be like

Oh, you shut up. You're scandalous. He's like, he's like, I'll about, you don't have to play a free if you suck my cock. And then he's like, there's a camera right there. She's like, oh my God. And he's like, get out.

He speeds off. He speeds off and like all those fucking rocks and shit spray interface. I love when you like watch a level of one certain porn actor or actors. You start to notice the quirks. Yeah. What was that

back, the back door, or no, the casting couch guy? Yeah. You start to get the a little bit. It's really creepy. Oh, how that guy likes. It's not ever funny, though. Yeah.

Like, that fake taxi guy, whenever a girl sucks, the dick, he's like, oh, no, but would you suck the tip? So, look, that guy loves that's the penis, the tip of his penis sucked. I know that about that guy now. That stuff, and it was weird because it was like, when you go to a restaurant,

it up in the wait or something, you're like, oh, no, you get too, you get scared from, like, knowing it? I stop watching fake taxi, because I know this guy too well. I'm going to give a little time. I don't want to be too familiar with this guy, I don't know.

You know what I get that. I went to I hop with time and she was like what the usual was like oh fuck I can never show my face here again I can't come back here again I know do you ever see that you're predictable do you know that porn star jana Michaels yeah it sounds familiar she's got these huge teeth oh okay yeah yeah well yeah well yeah I know she's got ridiculous yeah huge tities but you know she is right but if you ever see the video where um she's on a motorbike or just she's in a car what a dude and there's these about there's a biker gang to her left at side they're like guys we're going to a porch shoot come watch They were like, okay.

And then they're doing a porn shoot and all these bikers are like, sitting there and going, he, ha, ha, ha. Like, laughing while she fucks the dude. And then one of the guys is, like, making fun of her, like, being like, ah, you stupid bitch, whatever. I did see that. And then she fucking sucks off the guy, like, off the guy

in the ground. Yeah. He, like, comes to her mouth. She walks up with the dude, just spits it in his face. I didn't see that. It was like, dude, you were the coolest. She's so cool. I didn't see that.

And the guys, and all of his friends are like, ah! You ever see that couple? You ever see the couple? You ever see? It's like the girl who's like, I want you to cut my head off like a fucking pilot. It's like fucking pissed myself.

It's like how you fuck. Yeah, it's called like the shit porn actress to say or something. Yeah, I think I've seen it. Yeah, it's good. Cut my head off like a pirate. She's a weird, like, European exit too. It's really even funnier. Have you ever seen, like, anytime they do a scene,

if they shoot it, just for like a fraction of a second, occasionally, if a girl says something really weird, you'll see the guy make a weird face like, who? You know? If normally it's like in a group scene, but there are occasionally times when you'll say something weird. And the guy's like, like, clearly some guy in the background is just like, what? He's like, he's like, stroking his dick.

He's like, he like, he like, stops. Yeah, he's, you ever see the video of the dude, like, oh, sorry, the chick is with that room where the dude walks out of like a closet? And he's beating off backwards and he comes over the girl's hair. Oh yeah. And she starts like crying. She doesn't like a mental breakdown. It's the weirdest video. Oh my God.

Yeah, he's doing like this. He's doing it like backwards. It's really bizarre. That is so odd. It's weird. He has, like, laughing his ass. we walks like behind the couch and comes all over her and she starts crying. It's a weird fucking

video. Oh man, speaking of porn. Tomar and I, can I talk about this? What are you going to talk about? You made a big old porn. The anal Olympics. Is that a video we watched? We watched this amazing, I thought it was like the most, like, these women should have been paid a lot of money for the

shit that they were doing because it had one of my favorite porn actresses, Bonnie Rotten. Oh my gosh, and that's I fucking love her. I love her. She is not only really, good at porn, but like she just gets into it. She's got so much like emotion, you know, she cares.

Yeah. She's got dark hair, it's covered in tattoos. She's got... She's got... She's got... She's... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so we watched this porn called the anal Olympics. And it was some of the most fucking amazing, like,

anal stunts I've ever seen ever. Like doing backflips and landing with her wiener inside? Well, like, they were doing some crazy, like... Were there even men? They're... No, it was just three girls. It was just chicks putting stuff in each other's butt. Yeah. gigantic things in their

but holes. You walked into the anal olympic. But like they were just like doing tricks and stuff with them, like flips and stuff. Like I don't even crazy shit. Yeah, Zach it's really, it's called the anal Olympics. They do like these little stunts and stuff with their ass like sometimes

they'll take a frying pan with an egg on it and they'll stick it up their ass and then they have to flip the egg. Right. Yeah, really cool stuff. While she's sucking a dick. Do you think those guys... There's no dicks in it, it's just buttholes. Do you think those guys were kind of like He always in the Olympics.

You ever try to like, What are you, I was in the Olympics? Yeah. Why, did you run a little fast? Like, the naked side of my asshole. Oh,

both good skills. Yeah, wait, we're, both of people to the real world. We were talking about porn, right? Yeah. I just wanted to say one thing about porn.

Yeah. Have you ever watched a porn, like, yes. And then forgotten about it, like, for years. Is it redoubt yet? It's like finding treasure.

Yeah. Like, oh, it's just a lady. It's just my life. Because there's so much. Yeah. Yeah. The likelihood of it happening is actually pretty low. But if it's a good one, what ends up...

It feels like you stumbled upon a childhood memory. Yeah, it's the dogs are porn. It's almost like, you're like, oh, my Nintendo works. You find your Nintendo in the attic. You're like, I want to play this to be out. It's like, I want to find a box of Pokemon cards. Like, a shoe box. He's like, oh, look at these.

Takes you back. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, wait. Is it different for guys when you... Because, like, I remember... I think it was you that told me, like... Clarify.

It doesn't matter. Like, it's just, like, all porn is the same. Like, I don't... What? But for me, I have to find that special porn. Oh, yeah. Touch all my heart. You've got to look for the stuff that appeals to you specifically.

I'll tell you what. I don't think I never once just click the video and then stuck with that one. Yeah. No, I do the same thing. God damn it. You usually end on like the 15th video. Yeah. Yeah.

It's an adventure. It might find one good one. It's true. Right. Yeah. You're still always scrubbing through, though, because the internet and it's so easy. So why are you going to wait around? It's true.

It's frustrating to do, like, you're like, you're, you're like, you're like, er. I was watching one two days ago. I was watching two days ago and it was started off, but then there's this Scottish guy, he kept talking. He wouldn't stop talking. He was like, and look at my fucking cup. And how did he show him like a sweaty face? And he's like, his big, fucking stupid

red fucking thumb, he had sweating, like there's a lot. There's a lot. There's always a dude. Like a buff pink bald man. Yeah, just a buff, pink fucking dude. Completely shaving, no eyebrows. It's just red almost. He's just a big, buff, human thumb with a dick. Like the boss is on simple punch out. A big

fucking red dog guy Playa chick. Or no, for Super Punchout, it was the two brothers. They're just fucking their pink bald guys. They have no eyebrows or anything. They're totally shaving all the time.

They're always sweating with their fucking mouth at jar banging a chick while she screams. Okay, now here's the thing. I do like to watch hardcore gang bang porn. I do. But what's very important to me is that it is clear that the woman is enjoying it. At any point in time,

if I feel like she clearly, if it feels awkward, or bizarre, even if it's acted. I can only take off the porn where the girls are clearly enjoying it. Absolutely having a good time. I always have... I always have... I always get like second-hand stage fright. I'm like, oh man, I can never fuck it for me. Like a...

I can't ever fucking... Like, like, a concede of you know what I mean? I know guys who, like, put on porn specifically to see the girl, like, not have a good time. Oh, God. I can't even... It's a masochistic. No, I know, it's weird. No, but some people are into it, but it's still like... I think those are people that, yeah, that have, like, those shitty values, honestly. Yeah. I think the porn you watch is very reflective of, like...

Who you are? How you feel about the opposite sex. And your own sex, even. All I was is be throwing coffee. It's not just gangbens. Orgy's work, too. Like, if there's, like, a whole bunch of people, and everyone's fucking and everyone's having a good time,

that works for me if everyone's having a good time. I like the videos with the soft candlelight and the Christian music. Now you don't. A couple leg down and slow motion of blanket. There's, like, the out-of-focused, like, candle in the foreground. There's a huge statue of Jesus Christ staring down. Still at them, bright blood.

I don't. Dude, have you guys, have you guys been noticing this terrifying trend of, like, voices coming at the end of porn videos now? No. I was scared to fuck out of me. I was watching a video when I finished, and I heard a loud German guy go, go to this website. There was God. I was, dude, it was as I was finishing, so he's like, go to this website, but it was added post. It wasn't the guy in the video.

So I thought something was like talking to my door or something. I was feeling, were you coming at the time? Yeah, I thought it was like Chris talking to my door or something. Oh, does you like ejaculation go back? Do you like suck it back? Yeah, it was like, dude. I always feel really weird at the beginning of some porn. There's always a girl on a couch with a laptop.

She looks to the camera, she's like, Oh, yeah. Visit fucking sluts.com for sexy bitches. What the fuck? What are you watching? Normal porn. I watch pretty normal porn. It's a pre-it.

It's a pre-roll ad that they kind of add. I actually, I pay for my porn now. Really? I just, I found a site that I really like. And it's got a ridiculous amount of high quality videos and like uh huh like give it a shout out for fuck's sake

yeah what i like it's called evil angel dot com oh evil angels's great i really like it but they put a lot of I discovered them because of free porn and I saw one of their ads yeah I kept seeing their ads

and videos I liked did the evil angel crew or was it Brazzers that did the pirate movie one I'm not sure that was Brassers I think it might be Bradgers oh you know what it was

because they had what's her name Aisha the Japanese girl Isha Akira yeah Asa Akira and she's definitely Brassar she's so high but they did that

was I mean, the Pirates movie was like a big thing. It was hot. Yeah. I saw some of the scenes. I saw the Avatar one. You've ever seen the movie? No.

I wanted to see the Avatar one. The Avatar was really well made. Yeah, they had great costumes. Except it was boring, yeah. Did you ever see the Spudgebob one? No. He is the funniest thing ever. It's a guy who's Spudge Bob soup.

He has his face paint together, and he's like, and there's a girl Sandy, the squirrel, if she sucks him up, and he's like, ah! He's been killed through the entire time. Did he ever see the Homer Simpson one? He doesn't really like, hmm. He does a super good sense, he's a man,

suck my dick, it's a lot, yeah. The flann just comes in, it's creepy as fuck. Yeah. No, but the fucking Avatar one's really funny because you know they're blue aliens. They start like sucking her dicks, and then the pain starts, like, sloppel out on their face, they got, like, big pink wieners.

But then the fucking, the bad guy colonel comes in, and he's got the sagiest ball sack ever, because it's like an old man. He's really buffing, like, good-looking for an old man, but he's, like, his ball-sick sagging into his knees. No. Have you guys seen the, uh, the Wonder Woman porn? No.

Well, the thing is, like, I remember a friend of mine told me about this, but the Wonder Woman, there's like a Wonder Woman show, and then the Wonder Woman porno, and the Wonder Woman porn has the worst fucking costume, while the porno has, like, the most amazing fucking costume. Who is the, who is the one where the porn star looked like Katie Perry or something? What? The woman who plays her kind of looks a little bit like Katie Perry? Oh, and the porno? Yeah. Yeah. A little bit.

You ever see the Sarah Paler one that came out? No. I heard about the back of the future one though with the Indian dude dude Chris like I was like a back to future one and Marty is like oh yeah he's like a little Indian like yeah or yeah no he's like no he's like an Indian like it's like it's like it's like it's like Marty we gotta go back like what you're talking about back to the future I don't want to disappear the photograph yeah he's like this he's nothing

like Marty is this tiny skinny like the teeth after or Indian dude they literally felt the exact opposite man you could have thought Doug Brown was all right it was dude in a wig but he would look better than fucking this guy what's the funniest porno parody that you've ever seen that fucking the thing where they put the uh they they drew the like when they're humping and it's a pinball machine or like the girls jacking them off and it's Maracas I I think oh oh yeah the censored porn that's good yeah that was really hilarious yeah corned the cop yeah pretty awesome yeah I saw that one that was great that was a classic

Internet classic. You're a classic for you folks out there. All right. Well, now that I'm thoroughly fucking hard. Yeah, I was supposed to say, at the end of this podcast, everyone's going to jerk off. Everyone's going to jerk off.

Listener, don't do it. Too on each other. Don't fucking jerk. All right, Zach, you're going to place out? This is the podcast. This is the podcast. Thank you for listening.

Say goodbye. Tomo Jackson. Give us one. Bye. you.