SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 27 - [Sharks]

Starting point is 00:00:00 There is a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense. A world enveloped by a seemingly unending ocean of forests. Buried deep in that forest, tucked away neatly within a blanket of twilight, lies a quaint little cabin. And in that cabin, it's a bunch of guys, he's this bunch bullshit. Hello there. I'm Shadman, the social disease attacking family value and church dynamics. nothing sacred is left. That was not scripted.

Starting point is 00:00:34 I'm here with Chris O'Neill, aka O'Ne. Spasket in 3D. Also known as Corey. And of course, Psychic Pebbles. Hi, you guys. I got to do Minecraft,

Starting point is 00:00:49 Minecraft video for that's going to be great. And my favorite Rice Pirates. Yes. Yes. Hello, Shad. Welcome. Thank you for being with me.

Starting point is 00:01:00 You know what? You know my favorite part about you being on here now? What? The next hundred questions ask when there's going to be a second episode. Yeah. By the way, that succulent voice you heard was that of Shadman, as he told you. You can find him at shadbates.com? You know, I feel like it's important. The Den of debauchery, violent and send.

Starting point is 00:01:20 He has like, he has like all lots of kind of Bible jokes and stuff. It's great. Yeah. I think it's important to know that this is the real Shadman. I think there's a lot of people who, because of all of the... of the conspiracies and the mystery that veils the Shadman name, some people may think that you may not be

Starting point is 00:01:35 the real Shadman. Somebody could just be... I've given up that voice in the movie, Timothy, because of you guys, because like it's just been difficult trying to avoid, like, my voice being on anything. Like, whether you stream or something, you've actually been streaming pretty regular. Yeah, yeah. At least this month, you probably streamed about two times

Starting point is 00:01:52 maybe. Yeah, yeah, we should... Yeah, but even despite the streams, despite the fact that they've heard you on your streams, and even on someone like the game streams I did, or like, whatever, I still got a tweet asking about whether or not you were a girl. Really? I still get people asking me that. They think you're this hot, like, 16-year-old girl.

Starting point is 00:02:08 He is, as you can see. No, you look like a hot 60-year-old girl, but you're not one. You should see his double-d-titties. It's been a joke because, like, in the whole kind of hentai scene and stuff, a lot of artists who are girls, like, they just completely abuse that and, like, just post pictures of themselves. Oh, yeah, I can imagine. I can imagine.

Starting point is 00:02:26 Do they? Artist girls show off the fact of the girl. off the fact that they draw themselves? Or they show... And they draw themselves. Or they show photos of themselves. They draw themselves as their original characters, but in real life, they're like these, like, autistic, like, fancy. It's like, you fuck off, you're cunt.

Starting point is 00:02:41 Like, you know, like, I'm a guy, and I can be a guy in a hentai artist. Right. I do think that's interesting, though. I do feel like guy, artist or girl artists, they, like, girl artists who draw themselves a lot. I can't, I honestly can't remember the last way I had to drop, I drew myself. Unless it was for, like, something, like a picture. something. I know exactly what you're talking about. How often do you say you're drawing yourself? I don't like drawing myself. How often do you think you do it though? Realistically? Never. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:03:06 That's weird to me that there's that big difference. Because when I draw myself, I usually keep the key factors. Because there's also that... The heavyweight, square face. There's that weird thing. There's that weird thing where it's like, either I make myself super unattractive and I'm really mean to myself that people draw me like that forever and I'd feel worse about myself. Or I just draw myself right down the middle, like not attractive but not bad looking, but the people are like... You kind of disney yourself. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Like, if you're a big fat guy, you just draw kind of a bloated guy.

Starting point is 00:03:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then the thing is when people see you, they're like, oh. Because, you know, there are those artists out there. No, my favorite. Skinny, but they're big whales. My favorite part is when you know someone is like, let's say, 300 pounds overweight. And they draw themselves as like an action hero that has a little bit of a baby guy. Well, yeah, it's a guy got a little bit of a good.

Starting point is 00:03:49 But he's like, when he's seen real life, you can, like, see his skinny face hiding in his fat. It's just like, you ever see that? You ever see that? You ever know, you ever know, you ever know, you're a human. When I see a fat person, but you see, that's the kind of, that's like the neglectful fat, where you can, like, see the skinny person behind the fat. I'm kind of carrying that.

Starting point is 00:04:06 That's like the meanest thing you've ever said, and you push it off like it was nothing. What? The year he gets skinny and he says that. So you used to be, like, kind of normal, like, averages, but now that you're skinny, you feel that fatties should all be put down, huh? Look, look, even what, it always is a fatty. I disavout fatties.

Starting point is 00:04:24 Listen, fatties, go walk to your dead. Walk two feet and die, all right? I'm saying if you're like a fat wreck, so to say, so to say if you're big or obese, then don't draw yourself as like this like eight-pack wearing like, like strong guy. Look,

Starting point is 00:04:39 actually draw yourself. Be honest. I think this is a good tip through life. If you undersell yourself completely, if you're like, if you're way cruelly to yourself and expect the worst, if you're kind of fat, you're like,

Starting point is 00:04:49 I'm going to draw myself like a big obese fucking slug of a man. Yeah, then the people, then there's only going up from there. If you start with the barrel of the barrel, whenever we draw ourselves, for the most part, I feel like we draw ourselves extremely grotesque.

Starting point is 00:05:01 Like if we do it. Because it's accurate. It's true. Yeah, it's accurate. We're like idiots. While people draw us really nice with like really cut faces. I'm drawing myself with the strict details of all the nasty zits I grew that day. I'm like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:14 People know their own flaws the best too. That's true. Have you seen Chris's drawing of himself when he gets out of the shower? That's how he feels. He was like big Negro. Just so you know, Shad's allowed to say that. He has a pass. He's Afro-American, folks.

Starting point is 00:05:36 You're barely passable. You're barely. You're like half of Will Smith, Black. Shad was born in the heart of Africa. Can I say, by the way, I love that word. I came over on a banana boat. Along with Donkey Kong. Chad, if you were, if you ever heard somebody using that word, like, really, like, seriously,

Starting point is 00:05:54 that, like, not ironically, the word Negro in the year 2015? Yeah, yeah. We were at an art store today, and I saw paint that was called Negro. That's the... Chris, that's the Spanish word, you fucking... That's what I'm saying. So lots of people still say it, especially artists. There's a video I love of Ronald Reagan in the 80s where he was like,

Starting point is 00:06:13 look at all, you fight Negroes. I was like, 1980s. You can't say that. But that's the thing. They're saying the Spanish of black. He was saying the Spanish word for black. What's the difference? I would say...

Starting point is 00:06:23 It's weird. Apparently, I heard this on the podcast too. I think I said on the podcast before, but... apparently the word black and negro switched to the defensiveness. So apparently the word black used to be more offensive. Really? And so they switched. That's what I know. Maybe I'm a retard. You can correct me, call me a fucking idiot

Starting point is 00:06:38 with a brain disorder. White people should be called pink people. Yeah. Or like orange people. Or like beige people. Just fucking trans-lose and veity fucking. You know, okay, so talking, hold on, talking about drawing yourself, like, you know, and now some people draw themselves and like

Starting point is 00:06:53 flatter themselves. Yeah. Yeah. In that vein, Have you guys ever noticed like, look, I have no problem with the shape of your body or the look of your face. Everyone is wonderful and perfect in my eyes. Coming from the buff handsome guy. Shut up. I mean this. I mean this. But it does weird me out when I see someone cosplay a character that is usually like, for example, if someone does like Aang from Avatar.

Starting point is 00:07:23 What you're saying? Okay, I see you. Why are you dressed as Ang? Listen, there comes to the point where you just proud with your body, and you know that you look like a disgusting Ang, but you're going out there to show off your fucking water bending powers, and you go up there? Or the opposite.

Starting point is 00:07:42 Or the opposite. If there's like a big, huge character, and then some skinny-ass motherfucker tries to play it, I mean, is the idea that you're just taking on? It's just like the character. It's nothing to do with actually trying to look like any of these characters. Some people do that, but like Chris and I spotted, Chris and I

Starting point is 00:07:57 spotted a guy who was no younger than 50 who was playing ass ketchup, and I was like not even close. A big, dumpy, old man, waddling like a goblin down the hall, laughing. I saw, I saw, ass ketchup. Shrieking like a ghoul. I saw a pro big, unfortunate human being. I saw a

Starting point is 00:08:13 pro-a black Goku cosplayer. He actually looked legit like Goku. Yeah, he was pretty ripped, too, and he had Goku pounded up to it. She got burned, dude. That's what I'm saying. Like, it looked like he spent a little too much time. I'm sorry to tell us to... Oh, my gosh.

Starting point is 00:08:27 No. They understand. They heard it. They saw it coming. You know what we're talking about, like, different color people and stuff? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:35 Do you think it'd be easier if we just literally call people literally the exact color that they are? No. No. Because if we do that for the most part, it's like black. Like, literally no racism. Like, look at that orange and brown guy.

Starting point is 00:08:45 Isn't it, isn't it weird though, that we kind of stop the black and white? That's what's what's saying. That's what's saying. You would never, you would never be like, oh yeah, the guy was yellow. Like that ever. that way.

Starting point is 00:08:55 That swap-ass yellow guy. Thank you, the orangeish black man. The problem is that some people are a bit colorblind. They see... Yeah, different colors. They're like, they're like that red-green guy went that way.

Starting point is 00:09:06 You'd be like, hey, yo, did you see that orangish-brown guy? You're like, wait, you mean, you mean that tan-brose guy? No, no, no, no, no. He was kind of like, you know, brownish, kind of like a tree brown. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you mean,

Starting point is 00:09:17 like, that's kind of like a redish color. Yeah, it's just be like... Some people would say... That's... And even if you broke people down into like very specific color groups like yellowish orange, I guarantee

Starting point is 00:09:30 what you'd really be doing just creating more factions of people. You wouldn't be creating like yeah, there would be more racism. Think of it this way. Because it'd be like the orange's yellow people feel like they're being like they're being prejudiced against by the fucking greenish brown people. Yeah, yeah. The slightly wider black guys will be

Starting point is 00:09:48 feel better off. It'll be like next level segregation. Yeah. Just giving them more More ammo We're gonna cause the race more Waterfowlety Between the darkies In the pasties

Starting point is 00:09:59 It's like 16 Okay hold on Chris What color would you be Pink You pink? I don't know See I don't even give you pink What would I be?

Starting point is 00:10:07 Okay I'd be whiteish grayish pink Okay Yeah that works I'm like a leukemia yellow A what? A leukemia yellow Are they yellow? Yeah

Starting point is 00:10:15 Like I've been dead for like about an hour Like I'm not quite in rid of one I'm just kind of dying Dead for a good of a little Lori, you're like a pinkish, you're like a... You pink fuck-co-d-dried peach. I'd say blushing peach. Oh, you're a blushing boy.

Starting point is 00:10:30 Yeah. Shad is like... Baysh. Meroon. Ashy beige. What are you? Do yourself. Yellow.

Starting point is 00:10:39 Oh, yellow, yellow. Fucking piss yellow. I'm like, I'm like you drink too much alcohol. You ate hot wings and you didn't drink any water for like a week. I'm like kind of like very yellow, orange yellow, yeah. I wonder with any slightly green people There are Like who?

Starting point is 00:10:56 turtles Reptilians I never knew that a turtle Is a slightly green person Of course They're slightly brown Corrid would you be scared If you if you return to a turtle

Starting point is 00:11:06 What would you do? Teenage mutant ninja Yeah exactly Would you learn kung fu You'd be useless You'd just be able to draw But you'd be a turtle Yeah but I know I'd run into that

Starting point is 00:11:16 Fucking Hot chick in the yellow suit April? Yeah eventually I'll just pose as a turtle I'll be the blue turt I'll not... You'd make a good turtle

Starting point is 00:11:23 because if you were at a party... I'll be the teal turtle! If you were at a party and you wanted to go home, you just go on your shell. Hey, Chris, if you fuck April O'Neill. April O'Neill? Yeah, that's her name.

Starting point is 00:11:32 Yeah, I know. If you married her, she wouldn't have to change your name. I used to have a huge crush on her. Did you really? I want to say something when I was a Ninja Turtle. If I was a Ninja Turtle,

Starting point is 00:11:42 I would have a white band with a clone. If you were a turlose to show you back and you fucking die there, Corey. Yeah, but I know Kung Fu and tubular and all these other crazy circles. You don't learn Kung Fu you become a turtle quality?

Starting point is 00:11:53 You know, if they flip you on your back, you'd just die. I die. Because you would be able to get back up. No, when I'm on my back, I do that spinny, like stand-up move. Like Bowser? Like, Bowser? Super Smash Force is not a fucking document or a collie. I hate to be, hate to be the bad news.

Starting point is 00:12:07 What are you talking about? Not only about it. If you get on your shell, you rock back and forth that somebody hit you, you'd spin around. If I got my legs down there and did a sidekick, I could turtle. I could turtle right now. Okay, so wait. Corey's a turtle. What would you be?

Starting point is 00:12:20 Why would it be a turtle? The animal kingdom. In the animal kingdom? Why are we talking about animals? I'd probably be like a rhino turtle then. Like an orangutan. You'd be a rhino turtle. You'd be a rhizabethan?

Starting point is 00:12:29 Like an orangutan. I wanted to say gorilla, but I'm not buff enough. I feel like I'd be kind of like a little dumpy. I can imagine you'd be like a cute little snake. Do you guys, you remember Planet of the Apes? Do you remember that big thing that was really, he was nice, but his face looks like really smashed in. He's a tiny little bead eyes.

Starting point is 00:12:45 He's the really big one that knows math. Is that an orangutan? That's an orangutan. I would be that. Okay. Chris, what would you be? Weasel? You'd be a fucking...

Starting point is 00:12:53 I would not be a weas. I'm kidding. Chris, you'd be a mosquito. Why wouldn't? You'd be a rat. Oh, Chris, don't fuck me today. You'd be a scratching, fucking annoying. In reality...

Starting point is 00:13:04 A rat knows how to survive. Yeah, Chris. There's no shame in that. I'd be a mighty eagle soaring through the air. I give you either a big monkey or a some kind of feline. Chris, be a larger, like a bobby. Bobcat.

Starting point is 00:13:22 Must be Sasquatch. I'd be an American baldspot eagle. I'd be a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Of course, yeah. Shad would probably, what would Shad be? A raptor. Yeah, no, I was even saying Tasmanian devil. Panther.

Starting point is 00:13:37 Yeah, Panther, right? Something like a raptor. What's up being a guest? What's it? Is it a nice experience? Are you Starstruck being here with you? Yeah. What's it like hanging out with the Google's real?

Starting point is 00:13:45 I mean, like, I'm fortunately, I'm comfortable talking with you guys because I've like known you guys for us. long now and I've lived with you guys and I'm just like I don't want to like ruin your podcast comedy or whatever that's why I don't want to talk too much. Shet. No, talk.

Starting point is 00:14:01 I encourage you to talk more. Talk talk. We need to talk. We need to. Talk your ass off. If you have a story that you would like to say that could take up a good... Because you have a very interesting life, let's be honest you have a very you have a lot of... You do. Yeah, you know what? Fuck all of our topics. Let's talk a little bit about what you're comfortable talking about in terms of your past. You know? Just so people understand like some

Starting point is 00:14:19 some of the stuff that has kind of been the basis of... I've been, like, dehumanized a lot because of, like, some of my practices I do online. Yeah. But we could go back a little and... Let's go back. Do you mind talking a little bit about your military experience? Yeah, because that's interesting.

Starting point is 00:14:39 I don't think people will do. How about we kind of, like, rewind? Let's go back to the beginning. We go back to the beginning. Baby shat in. We're going to do... Not that far. At that far.

Starting point is 00:14:49 far. The Shadling. Basically, I've never properly learned how to draw. So when I was like younger and I've looked up like into a bunch of graphic design stuff and I thought like, you know it'd be really cool if I could make video games. Because I loved video games. Yeah. I just, what genres if you don't want to be asking? I especially love first person shooters. But when you were a kid when you were first playing. I loved like just like on the Game Boy. I played like all the, my first console was the PlayStation 2 and that looks like Y-City and I'm like I just I when I discovered video games I was just fascinated the way Switzerland works with their universities and their it's a college and university like they kind of split themselves by universities being a more

Starting point is 00:15:33 specified feel for example game design can be learned in a university there okay so college would be kind of for the every the average joke kind of guy kind of thing no not really I don't really I'm not sure like I just know that that was a university okay so I'm not ignorant when comes to like Switzerland's educational. The way Switzerland works is that if you are educated enough, you can do a test there. It's called that Verufs Matura. When you have that, you can do,

Starting point is 00:16:00 you can get into university and the state will pay for most of it. Oh, okay. Like a scholarship almost. Yeah, like they just pay for a lot. It's really cheap. Yeah. And I didn't have that.

Starting point is 00:16:11 I was completely undradicated, but sometimes they let people in when you think, I see potential in this guy. and they let them in anyway. Yeah. So I had like this brilliant, I'm quoting,

Starting point is 00:16:23 I doing acroats, you know, you can't see it in here. But I had this idea instead of, like, next to making my portfolio, I also have an online portfolio.

Starting point is 00:16:32 So I made this website called shadbase.com and I used it as my online portfolio. Yeah. And I kind of, I just put up like some of my work I've done, like some of my like amateur, like digital paintings and stuff.

Starting point is 00:16:45 And some of the projects I've been working on and I sent them in a portfolio sending them off to my website they've looked into it and saw like you know we'll give you a chance we usually don't do this but we'll give you a chance after summer you can start

Starting point is 00:17:01 what does it give you a chance mean like it was it was like you know what this is a free kind of scholarship professional assessment we have a for like a year like they don't give you no no they thought of but I think it means to say like they we're the exception here you're the real case

Starting point is 00:17:16 have the education you needed to get in there. So they actually said, we're taking a risk with you. Okay. Because it didn't have the education. So don't, so don't, you know, try, you know. I didn't have any diploma or anything. Okay. We're going to take a risk with you and let you into the university.

Starting point is 00:17:30 And I was ecstatic. Like, I was so fucking happy. I thought like, I'm actually going to be something in there. Like, I can actually, I'm not I can actually maybe realize my dream. I can make these video games I love. And

Starting point is 00:17:45 I thought like I'm finally going to be able to be swimming with sharks. But the thing about sharks is most people know they don't have a neck so they don't look backwards. They're fast, vicious predators, deliberate. That's what people know. But what they don't know is that sharks, they get sad too. They cry. But you can't tell. But you can't tell because they're underwater.

Starting point is 00:18:12 The ocean is a sea of shark tears. It renders your ears invisible. And down there in the deep, it does get lonely. So the sharks cry a lot, and that's why the ocean is salty. Anyways. It's not like a poet right here. So you left your shark cave to go exploring fish. Anyway, the whole summer went by.

Starting point is 00:18:33 I think I kind of got to know you through that. It's like 2010. Yeah, you got to the core. But I started to like kind of, I had like kind of kind of kind of. started to get the courage to look deep inside like the darkest corners of myself yeah the corners where I never would have seen myself and I kind of explore those and like see that I have a friend in there yeah and I kind of to kind of explore that and like do some drawings which were very questionable more morally and I thought like hey I'll

Starting point is 00:19:07 just upload them to this portfolio side I made like an extra you make like an extra category and start uploading the more of alternative stuff. Yeah. And then I started there and like after summer I started there like I started the classes. We were going to learn us like just programming and game design and stuff and I get like this weird email. Oh no.

Starting point is 00:19:31 And it's like can you meet us on Friday? Can you please meet us at this specific address? I'm like, wait this address isn't on campus ground. This is like somewhere in Zurich like It's like in Zurich, it was like in Zurich, like some weird building. And I was like, okay. This fucking police station. I'll, I'm gonna do that.

Starting point is 00:19:51 And I thought to myself, hey, maybe this is something to do with every student. But it's just, you thought it was part of the whole. Yeah, like a secret, like interview thing to see what you really want in there. Because it is a pretty big school. Was part of you kind of like, and you have like, a little afraid was party like maybe it's because of this? Dude, I, I don't, no, no, not at all. I, I, I totally, I was jokingly thinking of that. Like, really.

Starting point is 00:20:12 So you're like, ah, yeah. I'll laugh at the idea that I would be happy. You're like, happy, skipping. And the school weekend, then Friday, I was like, I'm going to go there. And I was waiting there, and the professor approaches me and says, come with me. I'm going to lead you to the place. And I'm asking, like, what is this about? I will tell you there.

Starting point is 00:20:32 He didn't want to say anything about it. It was like this, the professor was like this bald guy, had no hair and only glass. Like, one of those guys. I like, say, okay. And he can do this. He leads me into this building. We go up an elevator. Oh, God, dude.

Starting point is 00:20:46 We go into, like, this secluded room where there's these two really old geysers sitting there and another, like, one of the professors. And I'm like, what? I'm just starting to think, what the fuck is this? Yeah. Why are all these guys here? And then they introduced themselves. One of them was criminal psychology.

Starting point is 00:21:06 But one of them was in the Justice Department. Oh, my, fucking God. God. They broke the bomb and said, we found some stuff on your website, which is highly illegal, and we cannot allow you back on the campus. Oh, wow.

Starting point is 00:21:22 Because you're a menace to society. You said that exactly. You're a menace to society. They made me sign a thing accepting that I am. That you're a menace. Yes. You are officially a menace of society. Yeah, you are.

Starting point is 00:21:34 legally you are menace. You know, it was like, they call me like this, They're like, I'm like a threat. Street rat. But, but. Street rat. They're, like, telling me that,

Starting point is 00:21:47 prove that they're nothing but an agent of treachery themselves. Right. By, like, denying my right to express myself my own free time. Yeah. Completely independent. Disconnected from what I do in school. It's not, what else else? Look, if they, if they found, like, a fucking, like, severed head in your bag or something.

Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, that would be different. But, but, but, but, you, what people. when they see things specifically and I think this is a small tangent but I like to go on it when people see maybe something like you're in work they would think

Starting point is 00:22:17 this guy is gonna be a cycle or whatever and it's it's you get that a lot right you people think oh god I was terrified to meet you I thought you were gonna be

Starting point is 00:22:24 a fat idiot even chat I met you in 2010 and I talked to you I was like this guy's really nice but even before I met you in 2000 well you see

Starting point is 00:22:32 13 of 14 I just I knew I knew because not to go with like what you said like but me it's weird

Starting point is 00:22:39 because actually me and Shad actually go way back in other terms. Like we go way back. I didn't even know Shad and he knew me. Like that's how far back we go. And I was kind of in the same boat with Shad where, you know, I had done a lot of morally unaccepted things back when I did. Yeah, but the criminal department, the criminal justice department didn't bring you in and make you sign an official document.

Starting point is 00:23:00 I also wasn't like, oh yeah, let me know your canvas and make you check out my... The reason I brought up is because I think that's a big difference. you are the in the nicest way you're not a harmful person you would never like it's it's art for you it's disconnected from reality

Starting point is 00:23:17 you're not a psycho who would fucking shoot up with a theater or something when you sneak out of weird so like look if they looked into you and they saw they somehow found something questionable like they found you were trying to meet with a girl

Starting point is 00:23:31 you know something like that I would get it but they're doing their jobs obviously but there's also there's also you should You should differentiate Your education Anyway Going back to that

Starting point is 00:23:42 Sorry My point My point was just that That the distinction It's very very obvious Especially with you Yeah and what I love I never felt that you

Starting point is 00:23:50 That you would do a negative thing To a person because of your art What I love is that they The way they addressed it too It was like they found some hidden secret Amongst you said You're like dude I uploaded this you assholes To a public website

Starting point is 00:24:01 That I gave to the public website But the whole thing is also kind of like With my whole appearance and stuff at the time I'm like I was quite into like heavy metal and stuff. And that also was like for people like those, kind of like conservative art professors or the kind of a red flag. Very, very, very kind of shit. People show up the whole like satanic themes and like the glorification of violence

Starting point is 00:24:19 such in the Tritomoran, cannibal corpse. Yeah. So it just that to people who don't understand it, it raises flags. It's foreign. It's completely terrifying to them. Especially old, the old geysers. Yeah. Because they wouldn't get it.

Starting point is 00:24:30 They're listening to like the classic blues and jazz. Then they come in and you're like, dude, it's Switzerland. They're just listening to like five. CDs of yodeling. But anyways, to go back, they told me you got to turn yourself in to your local police department.

Starting point is 00:24:44 Wow, really? I was shocked. I was in a small town in Switzerland I was there in Zurich and I just felt like, my world fell apart. Like, I felt devastated. And then they said like, and they also said this really weird thing where they said,

Starting point is 00:25:02 give us a call in the evening. You just want to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. And they think you were going to kill yourself or something? And that just insulted me so much. Like, I was not going to give them the satisfaction of, like, showing them that I was devastated. Right. But obviously, I was. But I was just like, yeah, okay, like, I get it.

Starting point is 00:25:19 And they say, don't come back, like, you're... And I asked him, like, can I maybe come back next year or something? You're like, no, we don't want you back. You're permanently banned. Whoa. And this is the only way we could even consider you to get you back is you go to the psychologist and have, like, sessions with him. And, like, just like... And that would take so long and cost so much money.

Starting point is 00:25:39 And by the way, all of that for like a maybe. They can still decline you after that. You're easily like the sanest, chillest guy that I fucking hung out with. Well, I was saying, like, I think people like him, they put this stuff out there. But the pedophiles always try to be the guys who make the kid-friendly Minecraft stuff or the fucking, you know, the... It's always those guys. There is such a huge ratio of like, of that especially online.

Starting point is 00:26:04 Yeah. Where it's like the either... I don't want to say just Minecraft. but like there's just a lot of those like Hey guys, yeah, or the prank guys or whatever where it ends up being like yeah they're fucking some 13 year old kid. But then the guys you draw like people getting decaptuidad and stuff

Starting point is 00:26:16 they're the nicest guys ever you're being really and they have a beer with them, they're totally fine. There was a Disney animator who like frequently released he was an old Disney animator who did like the old like black and white cartoons and he frequently released like mutilation like he released like people getting their arms

Starting point is 00:26:31 like actually cutting their own arms off and really detailed like styles of whatever. it would look like when the body's cut up him, but he was as normal as possible. Look, I think, in chat, I'll let you get back to what you're saying, but I just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just small tangent. I think, you know, we've said before the podcast, so I don't get too redundant to do anything, but I feel like it is just, because it's almost therapeutic. It's like, here's, here's every horrible thought in my head,

Starting point is 00:26:51 here's every, here's the quote-unquote worst thoughts, and here they are. And now I feel like that's kind of what this, this podcast is. Yeah. We can just sort of, yeah, and say horrible stuff. Absolutely. And that's even, we also mean it in a joking way. Like, everything we say, even if it's really mean, or like it hits home, it like really upsets you.

Starting point is 00:27:10 It's like, it's never made to be. I can safely say, I can simply say, I've never said anything on the podcast that I, that I said to. With malicious intent. Yeah. We try to not name drop certain people. If I, look, if I, if somebody said, if somebody said, you said this joke and it really hurt my feelings

Starting point is 00:27:23 because by whatever, I have a personal connection, I don't know. Well, then, and then they also should understand that you're kind of like. But my point is, even then, I'll still feel, I'm not going to feel good if I heard somebody's feelings. But at the same time, I never. No, yeah, but they should understand that even if they, you're walking into a mind. The big thing is, it reminds me, look, it's like, you laugh at, you laugh because we refer this person, that person, this person.

Starting point is 00:27:42 Like, maybe you laugh at the black joke he told her really or whatever. Yeah, don't be an Indian giver. But then when you tell the fat joke, it's like, I'm fat, you take it really pretty sure. Yeah, don't be an Indian giver. It's either give everything or don't give anything at all. Well, that was the whole thing with South Park was like, they were talking about like, oh, yeah, everybody thinks it's funny until the joke's about you. Yeah. And then all of a sudden they're not funny at all.

Starting point is 00:27:58 You can literally laugh at night yet. You can literally laugh at night. Then they get stupid and they're like, ow. Yeah. My feelings are heard about that. So, Shad. Sorry. Continue my story.

Starting point is 00:28:07 They tell you that you're a menace. They tell you you need psychological help. They tell you that you're not allowed back into school. And to give myself in. Turn yourself in. And to call them later to let them know that you didn't commit suicide. Okay. And so, as I usually did, I took the train and, like, I went to the local graveyards to contemplate what just happened.

Starting point is 00:28:30 I usually did that. Good. And, um... That's for therapeutic. And I was just thinking Like I'm going to have to Go home and face my mother Yeah

Starting point is 00:28:39 I don't have to explain this to them They didn't even know I drew that kind of stuff Right And I had to face my parents And explain this to them Why I have Why my life now has no more future

Starting point is 00:28:50 Did you consider lying? Did you consider making up a story? Not even Not for a single moment Good man Good man I'm assuming in your head It was more like

Starting point is 00:28:59 Well I can't Because you can't lie to And say Oh yeah Because we're going to have You can't lie about it. That's to say, in my mind, I was more thinking, like, what's next? What will I do after?

Starting point is 00:29:08 Like, can I still, like... Can I go, yeah, that was the top for you. I would do the same thing, though. Like, if I was in a situation where my parents confront me about what I do, I'd be like, yeah, I do it because it's what I do. I've done it for years, and I'm not going to change. At that moment, at that moment, were you thinking that you were done with games? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:28 Did all these things start flashed? Because initially, it was like, you got into college. You were going to do your game design. I was definitely thinking I'm not going to do anything creative for the rest of my life. Like, I was going to do any, not for a job. I'm not going to do it. And I told myself, I'm going to just quit. You thought you were just doing a desk job the rest of your life?

Starting point is 00:29:43 No, I just thought, like, I'll just come with me. Like, I'll just, but I did not consider that would ever do, like, anything creative. And I, so I got, I called and I said, like, I explained to them. I went home and I kind of like, how you guys say, face the music. Yeah. And I reported myself into the police department. No, you did. I did.

Starting point is 00:30:02 I did. I went there. Spoken like a tree gentleman. Jesus. I confronted them and they set me down in this interrogation room and they printed out all this stuff. Hung it up on the wall. All your drawings. Yeah, not all of them, but I'm just some of the more extreme ones.

Starting point is 00:30:17 They started questioning me and it was just such a bizarre experience. It's like in a dream. Yeah. Look at this Kafka. A Kafkaous nightmare. Yeah. What was the expression on your face at that point? That is literally out of a Kafka.

Starting point is 00:30:30 It's like story, though. Stern. Like, because you can't show, you gotta still remain the shark. Okay. So your tears are invisible under water. So you're still not turning back. You could be. No neck.

Starting point is 00:30:40 No, you could be. Never. But the take you on the water. You're committed though, right? You could be a hammerhead shark. You said, who's, like, the most evil sharks in the water. You could have been the hammerhead. They're not the most evil water.

Starting point is 00:30:51 Instead, you were a white silver bag. They're the ones that like, fucking. It's a gorilla, Corey. Yeah. The type of shark. You plant car bombs. I'm assuming. I'm assuming.

Starting point is 00:30:59 Ruin your credit score. I'm assuming. Yes. Let me tell you something about credit score. You were saying, Zach? Can't remember I call it. Can't remember okay? Anyway.

Starting point is 00:31:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're sitting there in the interrogation room. They've hung up all the art you've done. You're like, yeah, I know I drew it. I was saying, I'm assuming at this point, you're like, I've already been caught. I might as well just kind of sit here and just do it, just stick to my guns.

Starting point is 00:31:22 Stick to my guns. See what they can give me. How were they treating you? They were treated, they were still staying polite, but they obviously were not, they didn't have, like, they didn't have her, they, they, they, they, they, were like, this is like kind of a scumbach.

Starting point is 00:31:33 They were trying to stay polite. They were talking down to you. Talking down to me, that's the word. And just, I, like, they let me off. Like, they made me assure them I would delete the website, delete everything, and I had to pay a gratuitous fine. What? Yes.

Starting point is 00:31:49 Wait, you had to pay a fine for drawing? Yes. What is the bulk hook for that? I think about me asking. The bulk of the fine. Before that even happened, this is really stupid. But before that even happened, before I reported myself in

Starting point is 00:32:03 while it was on the train like a week earlier the police took me out searched me and found a knife on me which was larger than I was legally allowed to possess are you serious? So they also topped it off with like illegal weapon possession

Starting point is 00:32:18 oh no so I was like okay like this is my life now you know and you were asking for the ballpark for that of the fine yeah it's not going to sound large for you but it was like 2,800. That is a lot. But it's like, I mean, like, it's not like

Starting point is 00:32:34 it's true of this large and, like, but for, at the time, it's unreasonable to pay for what you did. Because if you can't pay that, then what happens? You go to jail? Yeah, I'm assuming.

Starting point is 00:32:43 I didn't even consider that, but probably, probably, maybe like, you had to, like, do some community. Corvation or, yeah, yeah. But I was, like,

Starting point is 00:32:50 for, to me at the time was, huge. It was like, there's a fortune, yeah. All my money. Like, you know, it's just so much fucking money. Like, I, I never, like,

Starting point is 00:32:59 I was just fucking baffled. At that time, like, obviously, I was broke. Everybody looked down to me. Everybody thought, everybody thought I was this fucking scumback. Did you lose friends over that? I didn't have that many friends to begin with. So I was kind of one of those guys. More like kind of a single guy.

Starting point is 00:33:18 You were a lone wolf. Lone shark. I kind of chose to walk alone a lot of times. But... I walked. Yeah, it's just like a great deal. In America, I mean, in Switzerland, army service is mandatory.

Starting point is 00:33:30 Okay. So I thought like, okay, I'll just do my army service now instead of a few years later. I'll just enlist right now and get away from all of this shit. Yeah. So that's when I'll enlist it. And I told them, I don't even care what you give me. And they gave me a service as an artillery tank man. So they took your knife away and they handed you a tank.

Starting point is 00:33:55 They handed you a gun. They handed you a gun and a tank. It was mandatory. What's crazy to me is that Switzerland has mandatory service, but the country is famous for being neutral. Oh, yeah, yeah, it has always been neutral. I don't know much about Switzerland's history. Where's the last war you guys were in?

Starting point is 00:34:13 They defeated Hitler, single-handedly. Hitler wanted to invade us, but they couldn't because of the mountains. Because Switzerland flexed their arms, and Hitler blushed and turned and ran away. Yeah. The mountains blocked, Hillary. He couldn't see over the mountain there. He's like, nobody's over there.

Starting point is 00:34:29 He's like, is saying? Are you saying? Yeah. And I enlisted in the Army, and the minimum thing there is, it's like five months, but you have to do an entire year, but you have to do five months at once, then you can come back. Can I say something also? I was also talking to Shatter this point on Skype.

Starting point is 00:34:50 I think we were actually, like, communicating at this point. Yeah, we were. Like via mouth. At first when I first met Shaddy, he was very. reserved um he wanted to talk to me and I was fine I typed you until eventually we came around and we talked and that's pretty much I talked to Skype I was gonna say I typed to Skype to Shite but what I type I type type type type P-PR help I talked to Shad every day on Skype that I could get it I was just

Starting point is 00:35:15 getting tongue time and then like he's like I gotta leave for five months I'll see you later and I was like oh okay dude good Lord yeah but basically with the army even though we don't have a war and stuff, they still train them like real soldiers. They make them go through everything. Paired. Yeah. Like we would actually have a war. And like the whole army thing,

Starting point is 00:35:37 it really made me look at life differently. How? Because it's just your whole world gets taken away from you. Does it put these in perspective? Yes, it does. You know that the citizen speaks of opportunity and the diplomat he speaks of authority

Starting point is 00:35:53 and or of policy but the soldier he doesn't talk at all the soldier just acts yeah and that's why it kind of made me realize that

Starting point is 00:36:07 I should stop like I should stop trying to think over things and just go for what I really feel like like you know even though I was I thought like my world fell apart and stuff like I didn't know what to do like in the flames

Starting point is 00:36:21 of adversity my will was just forged in you. I just had like this new, like this iron will that I am not over. I'm not over with this. Do you think a lot of people get that from that experience or do you feel like it was kind of specific to you? I think a lot of people get that because it makes everything else seem a lot easier

Starting point is 00:36:44 because you go through like this really controlled and like just kind of difficult life in the military that makes stuff in real life seem more like this is not as hard. Like, I could do this. Right. It gives you more confidence. That's interesting because they talk about like the American military has a saying called the, I think it's for the Army be all you can be.

Starting point is 00:37:07 And a lot of times that is kind of one of the major, one of the major benefits they say that people get or one of the things they walk away with is the idea that they have more confidence that they can tackle you know, bigger problems. They can start that business. They can, you know, handle situations better. That is very true. But I never thought, I mean, I guess you see it in the movies.

Starting point is 00:37:30 I guess I always thought the opposite was happening, though. I thought it was a breaking down. They break you down, but they build you up again. I see. Hey, I want to know something. Yes, go for it, Chris. When you first got back to your house after that first kind of police talk, like, did you talk to your parents that night?

Starting point is 00:37:48 Yes. And, like, what was the reaction? The action was more like, um... Were you like shitting your pants? Were they like, what the fuck? Or were they like, oh, that's terrible? I wasn't shitting my pants. Because like, fear is often born of uncertainty.

Starting point is 00:38:02 Yeah. And I was certain. I knew that what was gonna happen. I knew they wouldn't like that. I knew what I did. So I was just more like... Accepting. Accepting and more angry at myself

Starting point is 00:38:16 that it was so ignorant to like be so free and open. online about those kind of things yeah and but uh I have obviously I have everybody has like a certain respect towards their parents right yep but um it also like I also kind of think that in the end I can stand on my own feet even if they wouldn't want to accept accept me anymore I could still somehow survive so how long was that period after that happened like were you brooding around the place kind of mope or no no I just went straight on to the end up with pretty fast went like

Starting point is 00:38:50 was only a few weeks. Oh. Chad, I have to ask, right? I definitely thought, you know, I'm not like a, I'm not a most patriotic guy,

Starting point is 00:39:01 but I, I could sit at least thought about joining the military. Do you think it's good and character-building for a person? I think for you, no, because you already have, like,

Starting point is 00:39:10 I don't want to be better. You have an excellent character. Like, you have confidence? But I just mean, like, for discipline, for people who are maybe, like, ungrateful, or think,

Starting point is 00:39:20 woe was me. Yes. For those kind of people, do you think? For the oppressed people who like, when somebody talks bad about their Tumblr pose? I'm talking about like the, like the, yeah, like they need some scolding by me. Like if you're like, if you're a rich suburban white kid whose parents make like $100,000 a year and you cut yourself. Yeah. Those kids, you think you should definitely go to that guy.

Starting point is 00:39:39 But I even I fantasize when I'm just going to like boot camp or something. I don't know why. I've always just thought it would be fun. I don't think it would be fun. I don't think it would be, I don't know. I've always had a weird, obviously it's what I don't know. what you're saying because I also have kind of had like it's not really a fantasy but it's almost like a weird desire to see what it would be like to be a army guy for one day I'm

Starting point is 00:40:00 saying it's not it's not a given though that she'll make it through 60% of my platoon was that's what I'm saying I would like to steal murder no like just they left me they couldn't handle it's a hardcore trade they couldn't handle no they that's broke down crying but I thought you didn't have to do it No, they are alternatives. Oh. If they are alternatives, if you can't do it, if you're not physically fit, or if you're a drug addict, they're alternatives. But, Chad, that's what I mean, though.

Starting point is 00:40:29 I would like to see if I could do it. I think that's what I mean. Where did you, was there a ranking? Like, do you know how well you did, how well you stacked up with everybody else? The thing is, I was not a very good soldier, but I have a very thick skin. I do not let things get to me too easily. So if they physically really just harassed me that I, like, I'm, like, I'm, you know, I'm broken down and I am physically exhausted, I can just get back up again.

Starting point is 00:40:55 Right. And I always had a sense of humor about things. Like, I just don't, if you don't like things get to you, because it's mostly also psychological. Sure. Because they do things like where, it's like a full metal jacket. Yeah. Or when you do something wrong, everybody else gets punished. So they hate you.

Starting point is 00:41:12 Yeah. Yeah. It's a group effort. Yeah. One thing I do, that's the one thing I would like to see is like everyone goes in together, right? everyone gets like worn down together but they'll go through it together too so you come out with a new kind of family in a way. That doesn't mean that bullying

Starting point is 00:41:25 and stuff does not exist. No, I know that's new. I'm sure I'm sure. Also, you're gonna get that in any human kind of environment anywhere where there's... Especially fucking bunch of alpha males. Did you ever get like hazed by your group? Did they ever like come together to try to like do something to you? To ever beat you with so... I was not

Starting point is 00:41:44 I kept a very low profile. Got it. You could have to keep your head down And it's always good to see those the real dorks and, like, just the, they get all the harassment. And you can, like, just kind of blend in and be the guy in the background. Playing with their bionics. So you were, like, thanking gosh for all the nerds? No, I'm an atheist. I've been an atheist then.

Starting point is 00:42:04 You don't believe in gosh? No. What about the heaven and age in the Holy Spirit? They're like ancient fairy tiles. When I was a little kid, I prayed that, gosh, I wouldn't go to age. It was so scared. H is going to pull your down, he's going to drop. H is going to drop your head in...

Starting point is 00:42:24 Who's H? H is going to pull me down? He's going to pull you down to double H. Triple H. Triple H. Triple H is a freaking wrestler. Triple H is going to take you to double H. Hunter Honesley.

Starting point is 00:42:37 Just so you kind of get an idea of a hazing that was going on. Yeah. Of curious. Was it was it? One of the officers showed a little bit of weakness. He showed a little bit of a, he was kind of a weakling. And when they show that, they attacked. It's like a piranha's like a dead piece of meat.

Starting point is 00:42:53 Towards the end. He went into his barrack, dragged him out, tied him up with like foil, a package wrapping foil, put him on a little package, like those things, your rollies, the trolley, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:09 And started rolling him up to the river. He was there, crying, a grown-ass man, crying, red in the face, tears rolling down his face. people surrounding him snapping pictures with their cell phones laughing at that's so other officers see it and they join in they think it's funny they think it they don't even protect him they think it's funny I'm assuming the guy thought they were

Starting point is 00:43:30 gonna kill him right they're gonna push me to the they said we now we're gonna push him in the river and someone came and the hires up came up was like okay we can't do that this will actually kill him but they really wanted to do it oh come oh wow they really they would have done it really yes they would have done it's like a bunch of screaming eight. Yeah, it is. It's so scary. That dude, that actually... Wait, they would have killed him? They would have thrown him into the river. Yeah, but they would have like, what?

Starting point is 00:43:53 Grab-d-coming up? I mean... I don't know what they would have done. That's mom mentality. It's worse. But, yeah, like, the hazing was not very friendly, but that's just part of the experience. Wow. See, that's, that sounds worse than the soap or the flagpole. I mean... That was a full metal jacket. Dude, yeah, tying a guy down with foil

Starting point is 00:44:09 on a trolley and jumping him in the river would fucking kill him. But the worst part was the humiliation of everyone to take a picture. pictures of him crying. So if he did, but what if he didn't make any sound? Well, I guess they, that would have...

Starting point is 00:44:20 They probably get angry to try to fuck with a boy. They probably would have made him to stomach and made him cry. Yeah. They'd be able to his bitch crying after beatings and his face is bleeding. No, but he would have.

Starting point is 00:44:27 They knew that he would have because he was already showing weakness. Yes, yes. They knew that. So they psychologically, while he was like doing stuff, like they were doing push-ups, they're peering at him,

Starting point is 00:44:37 they're like, we're going to get this motherfucker. He thinks he's got us. That's great. Okay, go ahead. Damn, dude. I know you got more of the story. You said also like um Because like you you still kind of did art there like you had oh I did a sketchbook

Starting point is 00:44:50 Yeah because like you I remember you'd either I don't know if you like uploaded it to you showed us But you uploaded like your upload some of it Yeah your sketchbook and it was really sweet like did you show people like your art and stuff Yeah I got kind of got around that I drew but it was not like it's just kind of a thing that I then I for example I did like the I designed like the badges of our platoon or I did like the Our emblem on the tank and stuff Yeah, yeah. There's just, like, nice little things.

Starting point is 00:45:15 There's a tank with your artwork on it? Yeah, like, the straight-y emblem. Shit, you know how badass that is? There's a tank with your artwork on it. Those tanks will never be used to kill me. So what? It's still cool. And, like, it's not just graffiti.

Starting point is 00:45:28 It's, like, actually supposed to be there. Yeah, that's cool, dude. In Switzerland, they can say that a, what was the word you used? A menaced society. Yeah. Drew that picture. Yeah. Like, I'm a menace to society, and I'm fucking decorating your tanks.

Starting point is 00:45:40 Go fuck yourself. So you were never in a situation where you were going to, to be tin-foiled and pushed into the river. No, no. I... You were there taking pictures of everybody else. No, I wasn't. I was not a bully. You were just shaking your head. I was assuming you would try everything you could to stay out of the picture.

Starting point is 00:45:55 I was to stay out of the picture. You were just watching. Because, let's be honest, all those guys there, I would not form real friendships because they're completely in different interest areas than I would ever be. I'm just there at a very specific reason. you know I those like there's like a farmer

Starting point is 00:46:18 there's a guy like there's a guy who don't like advertising like everybody comes together but I was just like kind of a I had a too specific

Starting point is 00:46:25 mindset to actually form real friendships be honest how good of a shot are you a shot oh I was terrible I was I didn't give a fuck

Starting point is 00:46:33 I was terrible how good you think you could have been if you really applied yourself I don't think I'm a really good shot I really don't think I have a question wait did you say you had a stencil

Starting point is 00:46:41 of your artwork yeah You should have held in front of the cannon of the tank and then shot it at the private investigators And then turn them into your artwork From a fire Slighting their brains all over the tank You could turn them in your art and then they live as your art and they wouldn't be able to call you that anymore It's true

Starting point is 00:46:59 Okay, so when you were a bad shot Would that be like okay 15 push-ups everyone else because he can't shoot it There was a certain requirement of points you had to Oh so you just got like a little above average Yeah, I just like, you have to be like actually fucking retarded to like not get that requirement. You have to be like a fucking way. There were people who were fucking weird.

Starting point is 00:47:22 Like there was a guy who like would keep, he didn't know where he was pointing his gun. So he like just pointed his gun loaded at the office without even thinking. And what they did with that guy? Oh my God. After the first few weeks, they said they took his gun away and they made him have a, like a, what's the dude? Like what's a janitor duty? Yeah. For the rest of the fucking military.

Starting point is 00:47:41 Oh my. For like the year? He missed out on all everything. He just had to fucking do janitor duty and sit. Well, you can't point a gun at a fucking officer. They fucking condemned him. And he looked like a halfway mangolo. He looked like really fat.

Starting point is 00:47:54 And I just kind of stupid. He was put in his proper place. But you can't, you can't actually like, that's why you hold a gun like this. You never point a gun in an officer. That's one of the rules. That is. You never point a gun at something you don't intend to hit. Yes, exactly.

Starting point is 00:48:07 So, you know, he kind of deserved janitor duty. I'm a pretty good shot. Are you, Mick? Yeah. I'm a pretty good shot, too. Can you shoot a bullet out of the air? No, I'm really bad. I cannot shoot a moving bullet.

Starting point is 00:48:18 Why? Can you catch a bullet with your teeth? Yes, that's because I'm Chinese, though. With your chin? That's just... You just have to aim between his teeth and they won't get large between the gap tooth. If you shoot at my eyes as well,

Starting point is 00:48:29 my tiny little eye sockets will catch them. What if I stick it in your temple? What about your chopsticks? If I have chopsticks, I can get you anything. Moving bullet, anything. Anything. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:48:41 What if we were at dinner and I had a potato? You never expect that coming. I wouldn't. And I'm allergic to potatoes, so that would be it. I'd be dead. Sweet. So, okay, so did you finish your military service? I finished all the mandatory stuff.

Starting point is 00:48:54 Like, the last training you got to do is, like, you go for a week. It's called the Doorkalte Umbung. For a week, you go out with the tanks into the forest, into the wild, and you just survive there without food. But you get water, but you have a very minimum, like almost no food. You have to hunt and shit? No. Oh.

Starting point is 00:49:13 You just, because you can survive without food easily for a few days. Oh, so they literally want you to not eat for a few days? Yes.

Starting point is 00:49:20 It's like fasting, yeah. You get as much water as you want, but you... But you have to like do stuff, like exercise and stuff? That would make it a lot harder. You do the tank stuff,

Starting point is 00:49:27 like cleaning the tank, like getting a tank into gear, like shooting it and you do like guard duty and stuff. Like in the night, there's so little sleep you get because you have to get up

Starting point is 00:49:38 and do your rounds as a guard and you sleep for like an hour and they wake you back up and they just, fucking great. So sleep deprivation and without food. That's funny because it's like, like you said, you haven't done something in years in Switzerland. Like, there's

Starting point is 00:49:50 been no real military thing. And they're like, this is like stuff that they probably do here. Like they prepare you, I don't even know if it's like I don't know if there's like. I think there's like standard military training. Yeah, and that's just like standard protocol. The food is one thing, but the sleep

Starting point is 00:50:07 deprivation is far worse. Yeah, that's starvation. I would count you. But like, so if you saw, like... I think you don't even think about food. Did you see any, like, guys are, like, picking up bugs and eating them and shit? No, they talked about that. They talked tough, like, they would do that, but nobody actually got hungry enough to do that. Have I said, like, the longest I've stayed up before?

Starting point is 00:50:26 I don't know if I've talked about this. I know it is, but, though, I don't think you've told that. Yeah, the longest I've stayed up was four straight days. What were you working on, Corey? I was working on an unforgiving flash that will never leave your brain, and I won't... I won't speak too much about it, but it starts with an S. Yeah. It ends with sanity.

Starting point is 00:50:45 It ends with sanity. And let me tell you something that's pretty funny about something called sanity. Okay, because that's what I fucking lost after four days. Yeah. When you sit there for four days on a cartoon, and this is the first time I ever had energy drink. So I was like, there was just these spots that was circling my eye, and I was, like, grabbing them. And I couldn't feel my hand. Half the time, my hand was so numb.

Starting point is 00:51:09 I couldn't even draw. I had to give half my work to my other friend because I couldn't draw. I was sitting there. There was just spots constantly in my face. I thought I saw a fucking like little mini shadow guy running around my room. Like he was just scurrying around.

Starting point is 00:51:22 I had no idea what I was saying. Any kind of sleep deprivation, the first thing that I get is peripheral like spooks. I always see things out of the corner of my eye. It is actually like being basically schizo. Like you're just looking around. You constantly feel like somebody is looking at you and you're just like,

Starting point is 00:51:39 I need to sleep. I had a fall on. But I can't sleep. I had a fall on hallucination one time. I didn't sleep for like two days because I was working on something. And I was in the shower. Oh, my God. And I remember looking at the, like, the crack of the shower where the curtain met the wall.

Starting point is 00:51:50 I was like, wouldn't it be scary of a fucking face appeared right there? And I kept staring at it. And I got, the more scared I got, the more I looked at it. And then my brain, like, conjured of a fucking, like, the most terrifying face it could. And I fucking scream. Oh, fuck! And I was like, all right, fuck this, man. You got in the shower.

Starting point is 00:52:06 I went to bed immediately. I don't like this. See? So you had to do sleep. Yeah, but this is with a gun in your hand. You're doing guard dude. Did you have guns in your hands with your guard? What is everyone else?

Starting point is 00:52:16 You never sleep with your gun. You never like leave your gun away from me. I never hallucinated, but the worst part about the sleep deprivation besides just feeling absolutely miserable was how angry everybody would get. You're not irritable, right? How irritable, yeah. And that was really bad because I'm not an irritable guy. Like I just like to keep like, I don't like to like to. To get into shit like that.

Starting point is 00:52:40 Yeah. And when they start getting into it like that, it's like, it just really pisses me off. Yeah. It just really, really gets to me. What's some sort of stuff that was getting you, like, grinding your gears? Like, when, when, like, grinding my gears, when a guy, like, says, like, when you have to, like, check the map, like, you have to, every now and then you have to take the, what are those things? Like, like, like, but it's a really big one.

Starting point is 00:53:06 Okay. It's really fucking heavy big one. It's like the calm or whatever. And you take one and you have to like mark on the math, the coordinates, yeah. And like when like the guy, you're, the guy was like guarding, which is like, oh, just do it for me. I want to sit down for a moment.

Starting point is 00:53:20 I was like, no, man, it's your turn. And he gets really pissed off. Like, no, just do it. Do it. Now, like, it's not that much as do it. Like, dude, it's your turn. You know? And he gets really fucking angry.

Starting point is 00:53:30 And it's like, it is in your fucking turn. Do they start throwing punches and shit? No, not with me. We never, like, I never got into like an action. But some would actually... If you get into a physical fight, you get like actually they throw into a military jam. Oh, really?

Starting point is 00:53:44 So, yeah, you try to... Solitary confinement? Yes, yes. Jesus. The hole? Yeah, there was going to put you in the hole. The spit hole. I was never in there, though. Everyone lines up to spit at them.

Starting point is 00:53:54 They were, confined people. We used to have a spit hole in our school. No, you did. It was called your asshole, dude. Everyone just lined up and knocked the lug into your open, it was not my asshole. It was. It was totally was.

Starting point is 00:54:07 We used to have a hole in our school that the teacher would put you in and get telling them to spit on you. We could be sick right now, really? Yeah. What if somebody decided not to spit and fucking, like, barnyard blow of shit at you? Oh, Chad. Shad, come on. Stop interrupting us. Come on your story.

Starting point is 00:54:23 So you finish your service? Or wait, wait, wait, did that day end as planned? Like, you just, that was your graduation, your graduation? Yeah, then, like, the last thing you do is, like, do this whole thing where you give back your weapon, like, you... You do inventory. Yeah. It's also, of course, a drag. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:41 Inventory sucks. But I would have had to go back every year for another month until I have an entire year. Right. Because I only did a half a year. But when I went back, the hardship and sorrow gave focus to my life. And I knew I got to do something. I don't want to like, I don't want to work in factories. I don't want to, like I want to do something creative with my life.

Starting point is 00:55:10 I still want to try, and I wanted to retry when I got out of the army. So I, after a lot of, like, applications and, like, just searching around when I got out, because when you get out, you just don't have nothing to do, I found a job at an agency, at this graphic design agency. And I was, I was really happy. It's like, okay, let's just be graphic design artists. That sounds pretty neat. and

Starting point is 00:55:34 the things they had me do there were like designing like drawing penguins for an iPhone game Oh my God I remember that dude And fucking concept of it you were showing

Starting point is 00:55:47 This is like the most basic iPhone games You made a club penguin? It was far worse in Swiss But anyway Hey the Swiss are like the kings of like iPhone games You know that? They're the fucking gays of iPhone games But it was

Starting point is 00:56:00 fucking They're the queens of iPhone games iPhone game. I think it was Finland, actually. It made me realize if I'm going to do something creative, I'm going to have to do it myself because I can't do this. This is fucking torture. Like this, I don't want to live when I can't.

Starting point is 00:56:15 When did we talk about website stuff? I remember there was a point before I started like talking, talking to you, we discussed web stuff. It was probably like 2011 or something like that. Yeah, that's 11. Was that well after all your military stuff? That was after the military stuff that was during that graphic design. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:56:32 And I thought like I'm going to dig back up that old domain name, Shadbase, I had, and turn it into... Resurrection. Resurrection. And turn it into like a webcomic site. I thought like, fuck it. I'm just going to try it. Even though I don't know how to draw, I'll just fucking do it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:47 And I started that while having that shitty graphic design bullshit. And I said, like, I'm going to quit that and just get away from Switzerland. Say, fuck Switchland and move to Canada. Just hit like the reset button. just do whatever I can to make this website happen and be able to live off of myself in Canada. There was no plan B. There was no plan A, making this work balls or nothing. Yes.

Starting point is 00:57:15 All right. I was not like, I was not interested in the possibility of defeat. Nice. Not at all. And so I did that and like after like one and a half years in Canada, I managed to somehow establish the website. I didn't even know how that happened and all the online hate and all, like,

Starting point is 00:57:35 there was so much hatred. Like, just real hatred. Do you know what it was, though? That was like the equivalent of like the hazing where you had to have a thick skin. Yes.

Starting point is 00:57:46 I think other people would have given up or other people would have been run out of town. But this was like your military training. You could take it all day long and you just kept smiling. I was their hatred. I don't remember. The hatred.

Starting point is 00:57:57 Because of his, because of what, the content and stuff. Like people, people thought, I mean, like, the topics wise. Because, like, I, I, I, we talked all time, but he was always getting stuff. Like, people thought he was a murderer.

Starting point is 00:58:09 Petophile. But not only the content, it was also because I couldn't draw properly. I was a really easy target. Because I couldn't drop. Proportions were off. You've got a much bigger fan base now, and you probably draw the same kind of shit, right? No? So it's still similar, like, still rooted in the same area.

Starting point is 00:58:27 Would you say you soften up a little bit? Not softened up, but you think you changed directions. You think you did that? you're like, that's a lot, I've done it. I've gone less, I've obviously grown up a little bit, so I've noticed that I'm a lot less violent than I used to be. You know, Ashah, I should thank you also, because you kind of like rerouted me back to what I used to do.

Starting point is 00:58:44 You know, I should thank you, because a lot of people think that I got Corey into drawing porn. No, no, Corey got me into drawing it way back. No, the truth is, when I first came, I'm not going to, people can go look it up if they want, but when I first came to the internet, I wasn't one of those people who came to upload as AMVs to YouTube and all this shit

Starting point is 00:59:05 I didn't come to play Newgrounds games. The first thing I did was to start drawing porn on the internet. And I was, I didn't know what I was doing, didn't go to any anatomy classes, I had no idea what I was doing, so I came on, I just drew porn, but I drew what I wanted to see. And then I met a friend who kind of like

Starting point is 00:59:22 shaped my vulgarity. I kind of wanted to, because I have been introduced to all this other stuff, and I'm the kind of person who, you know, when someone tells me to do something, I do the opposite. Like, they're like, do this. And I'm like, okay, I'll do the opposite. Because it's like, you want me to do that? I don't give a shit. This is what I want to do. When I see something, I see the potential of the other thing. And that's kind of like where nobody was doing this. I'm like, fuck it, I'll do it. And then I did it. And then I kind of

Starting point is 00:59:47 shape myself. But I kind of like got back in and doing like cartoons and stuff. But in the back of my mind, I was like, I was always like, man, I need to go back to drawing like art. I need to go back to learning how to art. Because like now I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I feel like every day I'm learning something new about anatomy. I'm learning something new about colors, lighting, and it's just like it's slowly, I feel like I'm shaping, and that's because I was given another opportunity a few years ago whenever basically, like, I had the bottom of the barrel,

Starting point is 01:00:14 and I'm like, okay, I need to change my life around or I'm going to have to go live with my parents and possibly hang myself from doing something like that. So, and now it's like, here I am, and that's mainly because of Shad. But yeah, that's cool, Corey. But also, I also have to say, like, to all, like, kind of the miserable reception, like, all the hatred, there's some positive stuff in that because, like, hatred nourishes you, or in my case, nourishes me more than praise. It makes me, like, it is, like, that gives me the teeth to bite and tear, you know, like the fists to bludgeon.

Starting point is 01:00:55 It is that which makes me stay angry. angry. And if I stay angry, I stay productive. Something else, too, is like, if you're getting a lot of hatred, it just can make, it inspires you in a way. Yes. Like, well, I know that's what you're saying, but for me, it was, it's not the same as what you're saying. When I first started off on the internet, I was a complete faggot, right? Yeah. I was a horrible thing everybody was.

Starting point is 01:01:17 I was, I was the biggest faggat. I think, you have to know. I think we should draw us, draws on that. So, what I'm saying is, if you get a lot of hate, everyone's like your faggot, you're like, oh, okay. Yeah. And you're not a faggot anymore You grow, you Like, I feel like

Starting point is 01:01:33 I at this point Anyone can say anything to me And I would just be like, oh, all right You know, the internet is a weird place To, like to be new to Because there's a lot of like Unspoken rules that you have to learn along the way You can't get, pretty much a lot like

Starting point is 01:01:47 Your place to like, okay What you put out there Everyone will see forever It will be saved forever You pretty much can't be a dick Ever on the internet You have to learn to Or if you're a dick

Starting point is 01:01:56 You have to own it to You have to own it to Yeah, you have to own it Absolutely. You cannot pedal around stuff. If you're an asshole to someone and someone corners you and says, oh, you're an asshole. And you're like, yeah, I'm an asshole because this is my reasoning.

Starting point is 01:02:06 It's like, it's cool. If the bullies bully you and you show them that you're vulnerable, they keep doing it and keep doing it even harder. Yeah. They'll have the meanest rage faces to send you to really get you fucking blood boiling. And it's like, it's not like you could convert them or anything. Like, death is the only lesson they would understand. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:02:23 Pretty much what it comes down to it. It's like the baby rule that you learn in school. It's like if someone's father. It is so different than like your day-to-day offline life because you're interacting with so many people at the same time. That you'll never have to see from. That you think you'll never have to see. Well, not only, so it's exactly that, which means not only are, the interactions are not only so much more, like in terms of quantity, but there are a lot, oftentimes a lot more vicious, uncensored, you know, because they don't think they're going to see you. So they think they can say whatever they want. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:58 So it's like, no matter who you are or no matter how much experience you have in life dealing with people. Like, I didn't join the game until I was like 30. And I wasn't really doing YouTube shit until I was like 31. But it's like I felt like I, you know, I dealt with a lot in my life and I felt like I could deal pretty well. But I remember when I first started out too. Like there would be a wave of certain criticisms.

Starting point is 01:03:18 And even then, like, as solid as I thought I was, I was new to that. I was like, what the fuck? Like, I was trying to justify myself and trying to try to. figure out like trying to be like maybe I can single this person out and be logical with them and then it'll make sense and then they just respond with like even you know whatever you can't you can't justify on the internet it's like you you either you either own up you cannot fake anything and if you fake something you own up to fake but now I mean I feel like in the last couple year I mean it didn't take very long I figured it out pretty quickly like this is what this

Starting point is 01:03:50 beast is but after that I literally because I get asked by people who aren't like online people sometimes. Like, oh, well, how do you deal with the criticism? Like, oh, okay, so you know what I did? I did a thing for how it should have ended. It was a Lord of the Rings cartoon. Yeah. And if you saw initially, the dislike-to-like ratio was like one-third. I mean, this thing got like a million views in a week, and

Starting point is 01:04:10 like one-third of the fucking people hated this thing. Why? Because they thought I was pushing the gay agenda. They thought there was all this weirdest. First of all, it's the only cartoon I've ever done that had any kind of gay joke. I'm sorry. I don't mean to tread on like a topic, like, Lord of the Rings, but I find Lord of Rings to be

Starting point is 01:04:26 easy game for game. It's huge and I guess people were saying yeah we haven't seen this a million times. It's like well I haven't honestly but regardless the point being that there was so much hate but at this point this was very recently and some people were asking like how do you how do you deal with all

Starting point is 01:04:41 these negative I saw all those comments because I linked people to it like my friends back in Washington and they're not on they're not like you know internet people but they saw the comments and they were like oh my god dude are you okay like and I was like you have no idea How hilarious.

Starting point is 01:04:57 At this point, maybe back if I first made a video, yeah, I'd probably take it to heart. But at this point, every comment that was like, what the fuck is this bullshit or whatever? I laughed harder.

Starting point is 01:05:08 It's weird. Me, Zach are very much like that now, too. It used to fucking kill me. I think, I don't think it ever bothered. I'm not saying, I don't like to say they're probably those comments

Starting point is 01:05:20 that are like, well-written guys. There are comments that you're like, man, that hurts. Make it's literally like the stuff, like, I. give to Shad. Like I'm like, here's Shad, here's some art, and then he uploads it and people are just like, flabbergasted that this is what

Starting point is 01:05:32 Chris and I did an improv where it was like a guy going to do a vet with this one. I love that one. That was my favorite one where he smashed, just the dog or the head. I thought it was funny, and then the fact that all the comments, like there were two kinds of comments. There was one kind of comment that was like, this is funny. The second was like, this isn't funny.

Starting point is 01:05:48 And the third was like, this isn't funny, and also fuck you for abusing animals. The ones where people were like, fuck you, I laughed those. Yeah. But if I see, like, you know, to keep it short, I think that the comments you take to heart are the ones that you secretly agree with. Oh yeah, you knew from the beginning.

Starting point is 01:06:04 Totally. So like, like, if somebody, like watched, like, Helpenters or something, they're like, this is whatever, I'd be like, I think it's great. Like, like the orphanage video, right, that I did. I like that, I still think it's a really funny video. So the comments were like, fuck, this is funny. Like, I disagree. I don't care.

Starting point is 01:06:21 But the cloud video I did, I was like, this is filth. And so even if it was like 90% good comments with the 2% that were like, you think this is funny? I was like, oh no, they see it. They see my insecurities. That's what kills you. It's when you're like, those small cracks, those one comments like a sea of them. That pointed out the one insecurity you have.

Starting point is 01:06:40 Like this frame is weird. You're like, I thought so too. I don't know what you're talking about. The clown one was good. I like the clown one too. I can't stand it. I thought it was Jeff's best voice acting work. Look, look, look.

Starting point is 01:06:50 Chad, you did a great job with all the backgrounds. Jeff did a great job. job with the voice acting. You did a great job with your voice acting. I did one line. You know, I'll even say this. I'm proud of, what did you do? What was your support guy?

Starting point is 01:07:03 Fuck you, boy. I'm still proud of the animation for that. I think animation-wise that broke a new level. But, writing-wise, that was, it's filth. Do you not even remember what I did for that cartoon? You piece of shit. And Chris, Chris, too, you fucking don't. I dragged an explosion.

Starting point is 01:07:17 Chris, Chris, Chris after-veged it. Yes, dude. I shook that camera. He added papers when the guy. is that way is that after effects the camera's yeah dude I remember you I made that cartoon do you also added a filter on top with after effects yeah every every cartoon I make it I should have been I put like 0.1% blur just to make it look kind of shitty I'm the way is that what Harry does with um probably with the Dr. B's

Starting point is 01:07:46 oh he makes it looks really like I think that's an actual like filter filter I don't know yeah but anyway it's just to kind of wrap the story up. Yeah, sorry. Story. After Canada, I kind of got to talk with Corey again, and sooner or later, like, Corey said, like, why don't you just move to America? Like, it was after one and a half years living there, and I was like, that is a great idea.

Starting point is 01:08:07 And you moved here. Luckily, you're an American citizen, right? I moved here, and luckily I was not only a Swiss citizen, also an American citizen because of my heritage, and that's how I got to know all you guys. Like those bozos foot? No, but, like, I also have to say that. like getting to know like Corey and like and you guys stuff online that added a lot to like

Starting point is 01:08:27 my whole confidence of like I'm not completely insane you know like I'm not I'm not a completely well you are but you're insane with us also yeah yeah you're insane you're a good company but you're insane yeah if if those if the criminal justice department guys

Starting point is 01:08:43 saw some of the work that like stamper they would have or some of these guys done would they have do you think they would Corey definitely but I would have been condemned to the army I don't think I've ever delved too far into anything. No, maybe only like some of the Nazi jokes. The Europeans really don't like that.

Starting point is 01:08:59 So Chris would have been fucked. No, Europeans don't mind it. Germans don't like you. Switzerland is a little bit. I feel like the countries that were kind of really fucked by Germany. Like, if you walked into Poland and you're like, ah, I'm a Nazi. I don't think they'd like it that much. Yeah, no, that would.

Starting point is 01:09:14 I feel like, there's a couple countries. It gets a lot from Germany because it's right next to it. So I would be in the same situation as you. I think, Corey, a lot. Yeah, a lot of you stuff we did. If Zach was... I tell you, we like share these bonds. Yes.

Starting point is 01:09:28 For sure. If Zach got caught at the train station with his Hitler Youth Knife, would they like... He would make a lot of friends. Nazi prison. You're Nazis. No, but anyways, yeah. Well, you're not insane.

Starting point is 01:09:46 And here you are now. What better place to be? What better... Really? What better place to be? I love you guys. Like, yeah, seriously, you're all really... I have to say, when Chad, when you moved here,

Starting point is 01:09:57 the great thing about Chad is, he's one of those guys, you don't have to talk to him every day. We didn't talk every day when we live together. We don't live together anymore, but we didn't talk every day. But every once in a while, like probably twice a week, maybe once a week sometimes. I'd walk down to get a glass of water, and Chad would cross me, and we were just so conversing.

Starting point is 01:10:14 We'd have a... Four hours would pass. I'd feel enlightened afterwards. Like, he shares me his views of, like, the cold war and stuff, and I thought like that's actually really enlightening and I go back and watch a documentary and link me it would be great I don't know I just it was very fruitful I never it never felt like we were just course or like never felt control there's like oh yeah never felt a small talk it was always very you know it was very fruitful it was like you've got that's how people should interact exactly

Starting point is 01:10:39 like you know like when you're in your life like you got to cut out all the noise and you cut the fat off cut the fat off like the distractions the noise the people who who like you don't feel like interacting with them because something's weird there yeah nothing fruitful One thing is, too, you know, one of the few guys that when a conversation's winding down, you know it. And it's a very mutual thing. There are some people who you can talk to who don't get, like, they don't kind of get the feeling. Oh, my God. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:11:05 Yeah, I'm not going to drop any names, but yeah, there's definitely certain people where... Certain people they don't... It's like, you're literally walking out of the room. You're in a different room. You are up the stairs, and you can hear them. You can hear them... Standing here. Talking to you, like, you're not.

Starting point is 01:11:22 Right there, exactly. Like, they're continuing the conversation. I don't know how I... I know who you're talking about. And it's kind of... It's not like... It's baffling. It's just baffling.

Starting point is 01:11:31 You don't get basic human, like... Yeah. But no, it's like... It was always... It was like a conversation with you and I never had to be a certain amount of time, you know? No, it could have been just... An hour, five minutes, four hours.

Starting point is 01:11:47 Those are better. You see, for me... I mean, for... I mean, could I say, move with a fucking power one out? What are you doing... Yeah. That was pretty funny That was pretty funny

Starting point is 01:11:54 Oh my god Wait, what happened? I'd love for you to tell this story You don't have to drop any names But I think this is We're like three stories Okay basically The power went out

Starting point is 01:12:04 And nobody else was home Okay But like Zach and me and some other guy And um We were We were talking there in the living room We put some candles up everywhere And we were talking about like

Starting point is 01:12:18 Ghost stories Like we were talking about like Things like just kind of the hidden fears in the back of people's mind. Yeah. And I brought up... What person inquired? Like, what's the scariest thing that you...

Starting point is 01:12:31 Yes. What terrifies you the most? And I brought up a fictional story about a certain stick man. I've seen all throughout my youth and kept having reoccurring dreams of him. And I've seen him. I could have sworn I've seen him in real life as well. It all blends together with childhood. memories and like just the ghost of my past.

Starting point is 01:12:55 He's bullshiting this with the straightest face you've ever seen. Zach wasn't even sure if I was telling the truth. I was like I was pretty 50-50. I was like 51, 49. I was like I'm pretty sure he's fucking away, but I can't tell him. He had like, he somehow bubbled up this genuine like fear in his eyes and put it right there. And I was like, man. By candlelight too.

Starting point is 01:13:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other person got like, really petrified and like asked me to like draw it and like, And then, uh... Did you just draw a stick figure? Yeah, yeah, I literally just threw a fucking stick figure. And the person almost started crying. Yeah, I'm not making themselves out. Yeah, no, the actual, like, uneasy breathing and shit.

Starting point is 01:13:35 Yeah, they almost started crying. It's like, oh my God, guys. Oh, my God. I was just looking at Zach, it's like, is this a fucking hallucination from my past right now? It's just this, like, this, like, a sticker. Speaking of, um, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of pranking people, Shad, you are a master prankster. Some people, some people, some people wouldn't necessarily think that, but I think it's because of this honesty that you're talking about, that he can bubble up, like, he can just bring it right to the surface. He can hone it in.

Starting point is 01:14:11 I like, and you never know if he's telling the truth about, I like, I'd like, I'd like to say this about Chad. I don't know, I definitely don't want to, like, you know, overwhelm you with, like, compliments or anything, but I, everything was saying is genuine, right? I feel like the best thing by you is you smell bullshit very quickly and you're like a hound. You're like a dog that doesn't eat for days. It's more fun to confront it. Exactly, but sometimes you'll just fuck with people.

Starting point is 01:14:32 You'll not even fuck them, but just kind of poke them. Just to see... See the reaction. There's that old quote. I can't remember who it's by, but it's kind of like, you know, if you stick a sword in somebody and you saw it, if it's hard, you pull back. It's kind of, I feel like this would you do a little bit. Like, for example, when I first moved you to the house, do you remember what you said to do with the travel?

Starting point is 01:14:50 Oh, when I said... You can't... You can't be an animator because you look too fit? No, no, no, it wasn't that. Shad walked into Nile on the couch and he's like, I don't think you make it to the winter. And he walked out. That fucking traumatized Nile.

Starting point is 01:15:06 He was like destroyed by that. You carry like loaded bullets even like in like conversations. No, but Nile has proved himself to be very cool. That's what I mean. So you can't do that you get to get your people react and he'd, then you kind of, like, get some kind of funny of... I don't think you'll think it through the winter. Do you know what this is like?

Starting point is 01:15:24 It was like September, too. No, no, no, do you know what this is like? Because think of it this way. Nile was probably a really big fan of you, because he's like a big fan of your art. And then you come in, you're like a, you're like a wise old man in, like a cave. And then this guy who's been trying to meet you for years. You're like, he's like, he sits down.

Starting point is 01:15:39 It's like really excited. And you're like, you'll die when you leave. That's it. That's it. Like, he's just like he's waiting for them. I just love how you mean it was like a fly. like you'll drop up in the winter like the rest of them like an insect you go in the other room and you just sit there laughing but he actually thinks you're serious but isn't it more like interesting to

Starting point is 01:15:57 actually kind of get genuine emotions out of people to get past like their fakeness yeah no no just cut right to it just cut to the bone because he yeah then you can like kind of see what they're really about what they're made out of yeah fakeness that's true yeah a lot of people like they're not going to be honest with you they'll build up a wall to try and try and create their um like they'll have this facade. Because they want to look better than what they really are. But that makes you look more pathetic,

Starting point is 01:16:23 though, because once you... It's like a house of college, you tap it with your finger, it explodes down. You know what? Once you know someone's has a facade, it's almost as ridiculous as somebody holding like a cardboard cut out of themselves in front of them.

Starting point is 01:16:34 Like, they're like walking around, like, this is me, this is me. And it's like... That's not reserved to, like, single people. That's like, everybody is like a performer and then whatever they are second. Like, a doctor is a performer first, than a doctor second because he looks

Starting point is 01:16:48 exactly like a doctor should be. He talks like a doctor should be. He's a doctor. Like, he wants to show society, I'm a doctor. So he purposely behaves a certain way. You wouldn't want a doctor to walk in, like, drunk off his ass, like, smashing beer bottles, being like, let's do this operation. I just be like, I think he means, like,

Starting point is 01:17:04 if a doctor's like, yo, you check out the new family now and I'm not saying. You're not thinking. He'd walk and be like so many ways the age is killing you. You also, you also wouldn't want to, like, it's always portrayed in, like, cartoons like this, but you also wouldn't want a doctor coming in cracking jokes at something horrible. Like if he was like, hey,

Starting point is 01:17:20 you got a brain tumor, but guess what? You know? Your brain's going to be twice as big now. Yeah. So you probably went in Caton Award being the smartest guy but it's like, I have a fucking brain tumor, dude. It's like I don't care about your comedy fucking routine. But like let's take Chris for example. You'd expect

Starting point is 01:17:36 him to like behave a certain way. Like for example, a guy would have to behave that he has like a million subscribers or something. He would be kind of stuck up about it or kind of posh about it or just have like a certain he would have he'd be like at one of those YouTubers he would carry that's what you'd expect him to be like because he would have to put on that act to meet that standard but is like what you'd have a strap with your like million like gold thing on your back you'd be carrying it

Starting point is 01:18:00 everywhere you go you just for the occasion you just have a tattoo that says like one mill like one male with the white tea logo I don't want to be name calling but there are people who are like that are genuinely people I've seen so many videos where it's like, yeah, got my million subscriber plaque. Or they're like, I'm gonna hang it in the wall behind me now. They settle it. Like, hey, YouTube, it's like right there. Yeah. Like, it's like, oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:18:22 Even like people I consider my friends at some point. Oh, yeah. They have this certain attitude about them. Like, because they reach certain things and it's kind of, it's sickening. Yeah, it's like, you look at them. And instead of seeing something enlightening about their life, they're just like, yeah, I did it. And it's like their avatar is that icon. You're just like, oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:18:41 I'm glad that's the most important. It's such a show. crazy way to spot like a vein piece of shit almost when they do that stuff. Zach, when you got your 100,000 subscriber plaque you hung it on your desk. You were showing up. We went out to eat, you'd be like a witness. He got that... You signed it and you put it on your own desk. Yeah, and then he got that gold chain and he like wrapped it around his neck, like a big bling. It was just like the fucking plaque around his chest.

Starting point is 01:19:06 I walked to Dubaro's like, 100K, baby. Should we have titties? I owe it You just You owe it Yeah You're sure I'm kind of a big deal I got a funny story

Starting point is 01:19:20 About one of my plaques Yeah My mom My mom hung the first one In the house in Ireland And I left it there Because just like I'm not gonna bring it

Starting point is 01:19:27 It's stupid Anyway she hung up the wall So every time her friends come over She like brags about it And then when her friends Go home watch the videos Then she gets embarrassed about it She never knows when to stop

Starting point is 01:19:38 Chris, what's the one video that your parents You don't want to watch I had a like a half a year long falling out with them Oversus But I'm saying, what's a video? Yeah, what's the video? Was it the Super Slumber Party? Oh, because of the jacking off me?

Starting point is 01:19:58 Jacking off pissing in someone's head The pissing bothered them? Well, yeah, I mean... You went to a school where they had a spit hole And they played coming to the biscuit. That was a joke, obviously. But, no, a super You know what?

Starting point is 01:20:10 A lot of my videos, it's weird, so I started off not that bad and I gradually get worse, so every time I make a new video, they're just like, yep, that's about expected by now. So at first they were kind of like... You're lowering the ball up your parents. The more horrible I get,

Starting point is 01:20:23 the less they seem to care. I think the last thing I showed my parents was the music video. I don't think I showed them anything else before that or forward of hand. I don't, you know what? I stopped showing my videos to anyone who doesn't watch online videos.

Starting point is 01:20:35 It's a bad idea. Because anytime you do... get to. The only thing you get is a blank stare. Oh, that's cool. Or like, oh, that's interesting. Have you ever had to describe what you do to somebody who's completely 100% attached? What do you use? What do you

Starting point is 01:20:49 call yourself? Because if you say you're an animator, it opens. Right, I say I'm a content creator. I'm a creative content creator. I'll play the guy. Okay, I'll play like a doctor. Sure. What do you do? What do you do? I'm an online creative content creator. Oh, what do you do? What do you mean? What does that mean? Oh, it's a number of things. It's voice acting or drawing a certain cartoons.

Starting point is 01:21:10 So you, so you like, you work on the Simpsons? Yeah, no, not The Simpsons. It's more like those, you know, like those little viral videos are a couple minutes long. What's a viral? Yeah, they're like these short little internet videos that get shared amount, like on Twitter and social media. Twitter? Yeah, the internet, it's like this, it's this conglomerate of, um... What is this guy?

Starting point is 01:21:29 Fucking Roman? I'm hearing of the goddamn internet. Conglomerate? I was like, what's... Zach, I don't even get into that. I just tell them, like, I'm just. I really had somebody, I actually had somebody say to me, oh, it's like the Simpsons.

Starting point is 01:21:39 The easiest answer really is Graphic Designers Center? Like, oh, okay. No, but you can... No one wants to hear about your logos. You can just say you're a janitor and they'll be, okay, and they'll be not interested because you test some fucking guy. Yeah, you know what? I hate talking about my fucking job.

Starting point is 01:21:51 That's what I do. I say, I'm unemployed. Every time. I say I simply kill myself tomorrow. I feel like, you're looking at a deadbed. When you get your fucking haircut, it's always like you have to spark a conversation. They always got to fucking talk to you. They're, they come in.

Starting point is 01:22:06 You get your haircut and the first thing they say is like, so what do you do? And I'm like, I fuck little girls. I call you a little girls. I thought little girls. Part-time. Professional YouTuber who does Minecraft. No, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:22:19 I'm like, professional, let's play Minecraftery. Professional streamer. Full, full-time Minecraft for part-type pedophile. Hey, baby. I have a question, and this is genuine. Like, I genuinely have a question. Do you feel awkward when somebody, not farts, but when somebody asks you,

Starting point is 01:22:36 Like a question, like, it's a question you really don't care about. Like, I went into the sports bar, right? Okay. Or a sports cut place where you get your hair cut. Yeah. And the first thing, since it's a sports place, they were like, so you like sports? And then you can't be like, oh, I like, um, uh, uh, soccer. And they're like, what's your favorite team?

Starting point is 01:22:55 Yeah. Or, like, I like football. And I like, what's your favorite team? You're just like, you know, I watch it. They know you're bullshitting it. Yeah. But do you ever feel weird whenever someone, like, you have to know what sports are? You have to care about sports a little bit.

Starting point is 01:23:06 I've never have been interested in these sports I've taken I've done a lot of sports and look if I had to be the truth between

Starting point is 01:23:10 like watching football or playing football I'd rather just to me to me honestly you know it's like and I have nothing that'll be this like a pretentious fucking

Starting point is 01:23:18 like oh look at you kind of way but to me sports are like the average person's let's play it's like I could rather play video game or watch somebody play video game

Starting point is 01:23:27 I can either play sports or watch somebody play sports that's true that's where it's actually Shatt and we were talking about that weren't we were I thought we were talking about like and again

Starting point is 01:23:34 I should say I don't look down on it, but that's what I always viewed it. That's a really good way to put it, because it basically is a game, but it's like, you're watching it. Right. No, I think that was the, that was the likening of it. It was like, you know, oh, there's this stigma about, you know, watching people play a game, but it's like, you know, you're watching people play soccer somewhere else and halfway across the world. You're not fucking playing soccer.

Starting point is 01:23:55 You're watching, it's for visual stimulation. It's also for like, you know, the stakes are high, or you see a cool moment, or you catch, like, that thing that happens. Generally, though, I do like watching hockey occasionally, because I like seeing them throw down and beat the shit out of each other whenever they get the chance. That is very enjoyable. It's like watching, like, ice wrestling. It's interesting. Ice wrestling?

Starting point is 01:24:17 Yeah, what the fuck is ice wrestling for? Are you open to get work? Ice wrestlies? The guy wrestling a chunk of ice? No, no. Slipping out of his arm. No, it's like, it's like they play the game, and then they just throw the gloves off. The gloves are off.

Starting point is 01:24:29 They're going in for fucking punches in the day. And it's just, it's like, okay, how about, um, what? What is that? MMA or whatever? Yeah. Makes martial arts. It's like ice MMA or whatever

Starting point is 01:24:39 where it's like they come in fucking punching. Boxing. You know, what are these sports? Have you ever seen, there's like,

Starting point is 01:24:46 you could Google it but like the worst hockey accidents. No. And some of them are fucking terrible. I don't know if I guys getting like their

Starting point is 01:24:52 neck's cut by like skates and stuff. Who was that ice skaters? There was that one where they literally he had to like he got his neck slit and like you can see it

Starting point is 01:25:00 like arterial spray like did they had to like no he had to like hold his neck shut and they got people to come in and they actually fixed his neck up but he has like this entire line going across his neck

Starting point is 01:25:12 What is the name of that ice skater lady That's why it's cool to him with the pipe 20 years ago Oh that was it was that Nancy Kerrigan? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I got her fucking legs be with a pipe And she said so sad Yeah it's so sad

Starting point is 01:25:25 Yeah it was the Olympics Yeah yeah what did she say I know what she said That's the like I hate that video That video makes me sad every time I see It's not funny It's just sad because because she didn't deserve it, did she?

Starting point is 01:25:36 Well, no, she was asking for it, though. She was? Yeah. What? No, yeah. I thought there was some, I thought it was like the, she like, she like broke the legs, or broke the legs of her competitors, or her competitor. I thought someone ran up to her and broke her legs.

Starting point is 01:25:49 Oh, because she didn't want, they didn't want her to win or something? Yeah. I forget. Anyways, you know, uh, have we talked about this before? D. D. We're, sport. Was that it?

Starting point is 01:26:00 S-P-O-R-T-Z. Yeah. What does that sports? Spart? When you have a sport? and like, this is sport? I don't mind it when people watch sports and they're like casual about it and they're just looking at it. And it's like, oh, okay, that's good.

Starting point is 01:26:12 That person won. I like that. But do you think it's kind of like really horrible when people get obsessed with watching sports as if? No. And then they have a riot and burn down their entire city. Either if they win or lose, they'll do it. Why are they so obsessed with it like that? Because look, we all, everybody that has something, probably the people listening to the,

Starting point is 01:26:31 if you're a person who listens to your podcast, chances are you're not probably that kind of. sports, maybe you are, I don't know. But we all have other stimulation in different ways, right? Like you'll watch a TV, you watch Breaking Bad or something. We have obsessions and stuff like that. But that's all they have. But to me, like, they take every obsession and interest you have and funnel it into one thing. But to me, like, one of the worst kinds of people.

Starting point is 01:26:51 I'm not just like fucking, like, tipping a car over, because a guy through a ballroom. It's like religion, it's like religion for some people. It's a way to connect with other people. It's a way to be a part of something. It's community. There's these, like, absolutely, just wastes of space who gets so upset. and they're like talking about it like they talk about the sport and the team

Starting point is 01:27:08 as if like they're managing them. Like they're on it, yeah. And it's like, dude, you need to fucking just kill yourself. You're just, you're not at contributing. I'm sorry, I think you see that all over the place. You see it with like fans of Markiplier or PewDie Pie. That's what I'm saying. Where there are people who feel like they're like their best friends or something

Starting point is 01:27:24 when clearly, you know, they... That's my point is like, everybody does that to a certain degree. Yeah, I don't mind people casually watching it or whatever, but like people get absolutely like... I find it funny that there's like next level stuff. Like it also isn't the same vein as let's players where there's like fan leagues where they create like the fan team. It would be like it's people people have a person that element of us. No, no, exactly.

Starting point is 01:27:48 But it's like it's the same concept. Chad, you and I had the, you were kind of involved with this impersonator. I had a deviant dart a couple years ago. Yes, yes. Yeah, do you remember this? Is this the guy who created the alt account of you? This is a guy who called, he didn't. even used by username, which is the bizarre part.

Starting point is 01:28:05 He used Shads. He was a variation of Shads' username. Like a weird... His name was Shade Man. He thought your name was Shade. I know. He thought you spelt it wrong. Yeah, so his name was Shade Man.

Starting point is 01:28:17 He knew better. So he's... What this guy would do was he would pause frames of my... You would pause the videos of mine. Bring this over to Photoshop or Flash, whatever. Trace these. But he wouldn't even trace it well. He would trace it badly.

Starting point is 01:28:29 He didn't like... Take his own liberties with it. Yeah, right. So, for example, I think he would... took one character I drew and just took the hair off. Yeah, yeah. He just made one of the characters bald. He knew better.

Starting point is 01:28:39 Yeah, yeah. He was like, yeah, he fucking ate. He'll be doing better. But so this kid was probably 13, 14, and he comes up the shame. He said it was me. So he'd be like, hey, do a video, whatever. What?

Starting point is 01:28:48 But the bizarre part was when I scroll through the comments, and I found this person, I can't remember, this was two years ago, I think. I found this person who said, like, I love you, and I was like, oh, no. I looked at this thing. This, this 14-year-old boy was pretending to be me with Shack.

Starting point is 01:29:04 a variation of Chad's username and he was romantically involved with a 13 old he thought she was dating me and I forced this kid I was like look I was like look you idiot say I'm not a fucking like

Starting point is 01:29:14 say you not me you moron he was like but I am you I was like you're lunatic what are you talking about I was like all my personal it's not me you fucking goon it's fucking bugs bunny

Starting point is 01:29:28 yeah yeah no yeah he's doing Dapie Duffley I am you I am you I am you I am you I'm not you I guess I'm not you Eventually, he did, like... He fucked up eventually, but then the girl was still like, I still love you. I was like, oh, okay, I mean...

Starting point is 01:29:39 Yeah, you can leave it. Fine. Then they could go after... Go ahead. Go ahead. Go have your... Go ahead of your... Go look at your... ...all right, I just want to say, people have constantly, like, asked us... I know this may seem like, out the wall, but people have constantly asked, what is your biggest fear? Okay.

Starting point is 01:29:54 I don't want to tell people my biggest fear. Yeah. Because I don't want to tell... I don't want to put this on the internet and have a bunch of douchebags sending me pictures of my biggest fear. Right. And make me piss my pants. You'd be like, dude, I don't...

Starting point is 01:30:03 my biggest fear, honestly. You guys want to know my... Deathly afraid of eels and we joke about it. And then somebody sends you a box of eels. And then I come on Twitter and I get 90 pictures of fucking heels. And I'm like, oh, I didn't see this one coming. This was... This goes back to something Zach said a long time ago, which I don't like to agree with. Shad

Starting point is 01:30:20 probably does agree. Chris may agree as well. I don't want to believe in it. But that is, if you show people weakness... They will... That everyone will exploit it and pounce on it. Now, I... I agree with that. I... Look, look. Look. Look. that is not inherently true.

Starting point is 01:30:34 I would love if everybody alive was warm and gooey and you said, hey guys, I really, I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of birds. Please listen. And everybody was like, oh, I support you, but everyone's going to send you a big fucking vainy bald eagle, okay? They're going to send you to get a gunned on you, they're going to find you.

Starting point is 01:30:51 They're going to send you videos of birds. But do you think that's because, do you think that's because of the audience that you have garnered? No. It's just the internet. No, it's human. No, it's not even the internet.

Starting point is 01:31:04 Dude, the internet was man-made. It's not like this evil thing that the humans made the internet. Humans are a piece of shit. It's like your friend. It's disturbing at its ultimate, like, reality. It was like, yeah, the internet's a scary. It's exactly like, if you had a friend who's like, I'm really afraid of heights, okay? And so you fuck with him one day.

Starting point is 01:31:22 He's asleep, and you put his bed at the edge of, like, something really high. And then you're, and then you fucking put an airborne to his face, and then you're, like, holding him so he sees it. So he wakes up, he pisses himself. It's just human nature. It's like, you know the best way to get somebody. It's like to get the biggest fear. But see, I would do the opposite. I would take his bed and I would put it in a beautiful forest

Starting point is 01:31:44 and I would cook him breakfast and I'd tap him on the head and say, Hey, sleepy head. He would still screw because he's not a horse. That's true. He's coming fucking set a piece of shit. You're not a real friend if you don't push him off the top of a building. All right, guys, well, we got to wrap this up. It's getting a little bit late.

Starting point is 01:31:58 Shad, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your unbelievable story dude I had no idea about all the details of this that is literally amazing that is actually you said in you said before that it was kind of

Starting point is 01:32:12 Kafkaian that is a very very bizarre Kafkaian story that you told but again thank you so much I really hope that we have you on the show more if you're down we love to have you

Starting point is 01:32:24 because you're here I have a lot to talk to with this guy good yeah we can feel the whole conversation then folks back home they don't need to ask They don't need to ask when the next Shad episode is coming out. They just need to know there's going to be plenty more. Corey's playing us out right now.

Starting point is 01:32:39 Thank you guys for joining. Thank you. Good. And what's your, hey, plug your Twitter. What's your Twitter? What's your website? Plug and hurry. Oh, it's just shadbace.com.

Starting point is 01:32:48 Show your mom, please. All right. There you go. Shadbase.com. Okay, let's give you, let's give you guys. Let's give you guys. Hey, let's do a big fuck you. One, three, two, one.

Starting point is 01:32:56 Fuck you!

SleepyCabin - SleepyCast 27 - [Sharks]

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