SleepyCabin - SleepyCast Lost Episode - [A Fireworks Story from Cory]

Episode Date: June 20, 2015

Cory has a story. A Cory story. Story Cory story Cory STORY CORY. STORY. This episode starring: Spazkid (www.youtube.com/Spazkidin3d) Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) JohnnyUtah (http://johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) Niall (www.youtube.com/Cryburgers) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

This is a sleepy cast lost episode. A Firework Story from Corey. Featuring Spaz Kid, Stamper, Johnny Utah, and Nile. My name is Captain Dickhead. My new girlfriend's pussy looks like a bowl of spaghetti. It's making me sick just thinking about it. All right, so anyways, anyways. Okay, enough.

Corey, yes. You had a story based on an upcoming. American holiday that everyone kind of like. It is based on a holiday that everyone sort of likes. I've kind of grown out of it. I kind of find it more like I want to plug my ears and not here booming fireworks. Oh, I know what holiday. This is exclusive. Yeah, no, I agree. I actually don't like four. I used to like 4th of July when I'm a kid because you know you like the light shows but then you kind of grow out of you're just like I don't care anymore because you can't really light fireworks

in town or you'll get in trouble. One of my problems with Fourth of July is I never see it coming. So when people start cracking off fireworks, especially around specific neighborhoods, you think people are dying. The worst part is when people start fucking shooting fireworks like three weeks before they're supposed to. And where I come from in fucking Hickfield, USA, they were shooting fireworks a month beforehand. And the fucking cops were like fucking swinging their lasses around.

Having a gale time. You have having a gale time. And then afterwards you have a lot of fireworks to get rid of because, God forbid, you'd use them next year. Yeah, no, yeah. There's a lot of really cheap fireworks, like the black cat bottle rockets and stuff. you get for like, you get 10 of them.

You get, like, 400, 450 of them for like $10. You get a lot of, like, little, really cheap... A fireworks are legal in America? Certain places. They're not really legal if you have, like, a country area. You kind of, oh, are they, like, under the counter kind of thing? You can't do them in town. You have to go to, like...

You have to go on the outskirts. You have to know people. Up here, they only sell, like, those pussy fireworks, like snakes. And you remember snakes? Snakes are fucking... What exactly is 4th of July? I know it's... On the 4th of July, this fireworks...

Wait, celebrate... Wait, why don't you guess? I know, I know it's on the Fourth of July. I know it's Independence Day. Let me remind you of a little movie starring Will Smith. Wait, so he's celebrating that movie. Let's just remind us where you grew up now. This is why you don't know this.

I'm from Ireland, so we don't have Fourth of July. Our fireworks day is Halloween. We're all the, um, the, the gypsy folk. Yeah, wouldn't you love shooting fireworks off in Halloween? When we fought against the aliens? Wait, you got Halloween and fucking Halloween. I didn't know that. Kids.

If Halloween was fireworks, somebody told me that in the, Well, it's the UK. Somebody told me that in the UK that when we had our Christmas versus Halloween argument Somebody said they don't even have Halloween out there Were they lying to me? They have Halloween? I think they were celebrated everywhere You know trick-or-treating? No, I think they were you know not telling you the truth I think they were being devious they're pulling the wall over your eyes stapper In fact, we do have Halloween and it's exactly the same and exactly as shit as it is here But let's not get into that. Whoa, I won't get into it. I'll be the bigger man God

You destroyed Stamper's smile. Anyways, like I was saying... I did. I didn't wipe that right. So, fireworks used to be really fun with me. Like, I used to love fireworks. I get, like... But I was a fool when I was a kid. I told Jeff this, um, I used to have bottle rocket fights with my friend.

Oh yeah. And we didn't actually use bottle rockets. Are bottle rockets Roman candles? Are they the ones that you point and they go... We used guns. That's what I asked. No, no. We didn't use Roman candles.

We used the ones that have the long sticks. And we used to hold the tip of them. We kind of wait for their like... you let him go at the last second before they explode. Can you blow your fingers off that way? You were shooting literal rockets at each other. Yeah, we were shooting little rockets at each other. You could get some was called like quarter sticks of dynamite.

That's like, that's like a percentage of dynamite. We're shooting like dragonfly size rockets. No, yeah, they're lit. So you used to shoot the ones that have the big skewer, wooden skewer stick with a little firecracker at the time. Yes, and we used to shoot them at each other. We used to do that, but we stopped doing it one time because I was doing it and I fucking threw it. it and it did like a flip and then it went straight forward and it hit him in his arm and he got like a well and then he freaked out and then my other friend threw it at his feet and it exploded

at his feet and it kind of like burned his bottom of his feet while another one fucking exploded on the side of his arm when he fell down so wait you were shooting bottle rackets at each other bottle rackets that's what they are now wait so you were shooting bottle rockets at each other and then you got and then you got you've you were freaked out when you actually hit No, I thought. He freaked out. I laugh. Because I'm not a good friend. This isn't even part of the story yet. No, this isn't. This is just kind of... I mean, that was the point, right, to hit your friend with bottle rockets.

Yeah, no. This is the prologue, apparently. You used to, like, point them at each other. So we used to, to start the story off, I used to really enjoy fireworks. I had a lot of fun playing with fireworks and being very bad with them. And when you say... So people think you're a kid, you're 19. I was like, yeah, 18, 19. You're like one of those piroules.

We held, like, three fire rockets and threw it at each other. Love fire. Yeah, you do stupid things when you're like... Yeah, me and my friend used to ditch off school and we get... I think I was around 17 or 18 when did bottle rocket fighting. You had no money. Ditch off school and do what? Okay, yeah.

So it was around summertime. Around the... It wasn't Fourth July, because Fourth July was coming up. I think it was... What's the month before June? Uh, May. June. This month.

June. June. June? Wait. June July. Oh, I think you said the month before June. No, July. Remember the song?

What was the question? January, February, March. And April. You have to use a song to June and July. Corey, you're special. August, September. November, December.

I'd like to believe you do that when you're thinking of it every single time. When he's writing checks out? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't go to your kindergarten when they caught that, dude. He was 18. This is the same time.

This is the same time with the Boller Rockets. That was Sunday school. That was Sunday school, Bollerockets days when he was 19. He was like, January and February. Little Corey had no money and needed a summer job. Little poor old Corey,

busy playing, Super Nintendo and Sega. He needed a job. When you were 19? So, you had a Super Nintendo and a Sega, you were poor. All right, let's just bridge you over all these odd occurrences in the story. This was, this was the N64 on PlayStation. Okay. It's like, you know.

Continue. Continue. Anyways. So, you know, the most money I ever got that I thought was a lot, it was like $150. And granted, that is a lot when you're young. But my friend's mom came out to me and she was like, do you guys want to make two grand a piece? And our fucking jaws dropped because it's like, holy fucking shit.

$2,000? Like, that seems like you can buy a house. Yeah. When you're like that. I'd buy a house? A car? So I was like, oh, fuck yeah. And what ended up happening was we went to a black cat like fireworks hub place and we met this. One of those stands on the side of the road? Yeah, yeah. No, it was a huge fucking warehouse. It was a black cat warehouse. And there was like groups of like 18 people. This is in Missouri. Yeah. And I was with my friend. Um, and we went to, we had to set up. We had to get like, uh, fireworks. There was like tons of fireworks from Like the ones that are the small ones that you launch and the huge fucking little children's size ones that can blow up an entire neighborhood.

Like the ones that cost like hundreds of dollars that your fucking dad spends his entire fortune on and then you have fun for like 30 minutes. Then you're like, where are the other fireworks? Then he gets all pissed off. He's like, oh, you spent half of my fucking. You know, they always price fireworks in a way with like to coincide with the people that can afford them. Like the cheapest fireworks are always the little ones that kids can afford. And the more expensive they get, the more dangerous they get, but kids can't afford them as much. That type is like...

What was stupid is they... That makes perfect sense. So you don't kids to have, like, four to six of diamonds. Yeah, but there's like these ones that are like 60 bucks, which are like these little like fucking light shows. Yeah. I guess it depends on the kind of artillery, but obviously kids can't buy them, so they're meant for adults. But, um, anyway, so we packed up and we set up each kind of thing. And the person told us her and her fucking, like, giant downy kid, whoever was with him,

He was like an idiot who would go like fucking count everything. You'd like, number, number, whenever he like figured out that he got all the fucking fireworks correct. He was huge. He was like one of those fucking fighters in a game that has like a... Like sling blade? Like just a big... Like one of the... He was an employee there with you?

He's like one of those hulking hillbillies who has like one of his overalls lowering so you can see like his mantet. Like sling blade? I guess. I don't know. But he was fucking goofy. And he was like carrying like 18 fireworks. he's like, oh, I carry the bulk. And then, like, he would, like, carry the bulk of the fireworks.

We're still not to be story yet. This is, it's a long story. But what ended up happening was we set up the thing, and that alone took, like, fucking four hours. And we were like, okay. So they told us, like, it's going to be a long trek. And when you get out there, you're, it's not going to be something where you're going to stay overnight.

It's going to be a long experience. And we didn't know how long it was going to be. So we got in a car, and we went with a group of, like, 17 other groups. And they went to all these different things. And the girl told us that... Group of 17. There will only be two tents. And whoever gets it will probably not enjoy their job the most.

Wait, stop. So you went with... How many people? Oh, like 17 groups. So there was like eight groups. Wait, 17 groups. Groups or 17 people? 17 groups.

There was tons of cars. I went in a big-ass, like, car thing. Maybe there's only two fireworks tents. I should elaborate. No, there was like more. Let me elaborate for you. Okay. The fireworks company had to set up about a bunch of fireworks displays.

About 30. 35 or before the 4th of July. But they couldn't set them up all in the same week before the 4th of July. So they'd go do them one at a time, like one or two per day or something. Exactly. So you and your friend had to take out of one. Yeah, we set up about four of them. And then we drove for like what was four hours.

And what pisses me off is we went through all these fucking places where the fireworks were going to set up. And they were in buildings with air conditioning. Like they were gonna have a fucking time of their life camping out the next few weeks and then we got to our fucking place and picture this Okay, there's like a fucking Rita's ice cream thing With an abandoned park a lot parking lot like 15 acres long just this fucking gravel worthless parking lot in the middle of that place is some fucking Like circus tent a tiny circus tent and and this was like a hundred degree weather and then they're like that's gonna be where you're going is the Rita still open No, it was closed. No!

So we went there and we went inside and they had kind of had us stuff, but our parents were going to have to come out and get us more like sandwiches and shit. And they basically told us you're going to be out here for about two weeks watching fireworks 24-7. You're not going to be able to bathe. You're not going to be able to leave and go anywhere. You're going to be stuck here for two weeks. And then they left. And so me and Dylan were there with about $6,000 with a fire.

fireworks in a tent and we were just like what the fuck do now and before they told us I forgot something before they left they said you have two outlets you have an emergency outlet which has a limited amount of power and then you have a main outlet which runs the electricity so you have like a little bit of like the fans blowing on you and then we found out later that the other tent had fucking air conditioning and it was like inside a building so we got the worst tent out of the mall and they probably took advantage how old were you I was like 19 and I trusted you to like not you but they trusted kids to like handle transactions give

people change and also fireworks also this is Missouri sell people legal fire this is Missouri that's true also wait like I can't really wrap my head head around like the setup so 17 groups of people went out to a fireworks convention where they all they all know they set up fireworks really they had stands everywhere and there was tons of stands they just like went through and then you get dropped off of one and they keep going. So we were there. And is it all fireworks themed? Yeah. It was fire. It's the reason why people.

It was fireworks stands where people buy fireworks in different counties. Okay, that makes sense. Are you familiar with the whole fireworks in the Fourth of July thing? Are you familiar? You don't buy them at like fucking Walmart. You're not going to Walmart and be like, let me get the value pack of fireworks. They have like a two hour fireworks show, like all over the fucking place. But if you want to get real fireworks, you have to go to a stand.

Yeah. Normally you jump on like I-95 and you just wait and you see a big tacky tent and then go up and buy whatever you want, but you can't, yeah, you can't buy, like, good fireworks locally, depending on where you live. These are professional fireworks. He's the ones that... So we were trusted, but, yeah, professional fireworks in a place. And around that time, around when night came, um, the worst part is they, they showed us the bed before they left. It was like a fucking, like, cardboard tarp.

So it was about being homeless. They had a cardboard tarp, and then they were like, if you... What the hell is a cardboard tarp? Like, like, fucking cardboard. laid out as like a bed. You know like how homeless people like have like a fucking cardboard as a thing they sleep on to avoid, um, what's a tar? What's a tarp? Is it a tarp? Like, it's like something. It's like a lot. It's like a thick. Did they give you like a cinder block for a pillow and fabric? No, we had to bring your own. Did you

bring your own? No. Do you use a little pine cone for a pillow? Go on. We didn't, we didn't know we were supposed to bring all that stuff because it didn't tell us. That was the last thing they told us. Are you sure they didn't tell you? No, they didn't tell us. Now, because we asked later and they were like um because they would have told uh my friend's mom they didn't tell him so we were there and all we had was our hoodies and it was like so we used our hoodies to sleep in the first night so we you know we were like sleeping in like the fucking gravel with our hoodies over us while like fire ants and shit were crawling all over us and biting us so it fucking sucked the first night was the worst thing ever uh we had a little ways to walk we we needed

a way to contact our parents and i think my friend um he brought his laptop with him. And he got... What year is this? I was like 2000... I want to say eight. 2014. We're here doing our thing and he's in a...

He's in a... He's sleeping on a tarp somewhere. 2008, dude, I was thinking like the 90s or something. No, I'm thinking 2010 because he said he was 19. No, it was my junior year. It was 2008. All right, so you were like 17? No, I was 19. In your junior year?

Oh, it makes sense. All right, keep going. Yeah. Okay. Okay, well, I'm pretty sure, I was, it was my junior year. Oh, of college? No, of high school. Let's say, all right. You're 19? Dude, when you get out of class, fucking thing, you're either 18 or 19 when you get your senior year of high school.

But you were 19 in your junior year. You're 17 or 18 in your senior year. Well, everywhere, but not Missouri, apparently. Oh, okay. 18 and 19. For me, it was. I was also in third grade for three years because I moved a bunch and kind of fucked up my. Oh, I would do it, yeah.

Okay, now I get it. So you and your friend found something to do, you could say. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I'll get to that. So the next day, we were losing our fucking minds. We had already gotten the homeless dirt on our faces, and we were starting to feel like we were, like, going to start scratching off her faces because we were so fucking itchy and feeling gross.

And so my friend's like, he's like, dude, we need to count all the inventory. And I'm like, no, fuck that. I'm not going to work. And I'm like, I need a fucking shower. And so. No, yeah. There's a couple of elements to this story

that I need to be clear on. So, I mean, obviously they didn't just leave you in the middle of nowhere for two weeks by yourself, right? They did. Okay. They would come and monitor us

and check to see if the money was missing and check to see if they have an inventory on the fireworks so they know if they've been sold. So somebody would have to be watching them at all times and if somebody came, they would have had to

have wrote down the inventory of what was spent on a piece of paper because we didn't have a working fucking like credit card. Yeah, never mind all that. What did you eat? You didn't have any water. Like I said, what did you drink? We got there, they had food

kind of prepared for us and like a thing, but our parents came out later to get us stuff. They came out and our parents, but this is like what I'm going to get to. All right, go ahead. I trekked for about, I would say fucking like 30 minutes and we finally came across a gas station and, you know, and when desperate times call for desperate

measures, you do what you can. So I took a fucking shower in the sink, in the bathroom. You know what? Let me interject again, how come you didn't bring this story up during our shitty jobs episode? Because I wasn't really a job. It was kind of like a shit. It's totally a job.

You were working, right? Were you selling or buying fireworks? Well, you'll see what I mean. I know what's happening here. This isn't really, this is where, the ending, the fucking climax is where it doesn't become a job. Much like an actual firework. It's the explosion. Exactly. Go for it. So when I finally got back

to my friend's tent, his mom had come out there and she had dropped off a bunch of new food and blankets and shit, but she had also dropped off a TV. And my friend also told his mom to grab the fucking entire season of Dragon Ball Z. So, on our emergency outlet, which we had limited power on, we decided to watch Dragon Ball Z. In the middle of a field. All day, in the middle of the field, all day for fucking like six days until we used up all the power. Was it one of those shitty little like TV VCR combo?

That's what I imagine. It was one of those shitty like TVs that you can carry. So after wasting all the power and using up all the emergency electricity. You couldn't use up all the emergency. It wasn't plugged into like a battery. It was plugged into like a telephone pole, right? No, no. It was like a limited power source thing.

I don't know. It's really hard to explain. There was like an outlet, right? How many episodes of Dragon Ball? It was plugged to a telephone thing. And the power outlet had one that they paid for. and that was the emergency one and one that goes on constantly

and that's with the electricity to keep it flowing. Yeah, so why don't you plug it into that one? Because that's what the electricity like for power, so we had fans blowing on us so we didn't die from heat stroke. Gotcha. I'm still kind of confused.

I know, go ahead, go ahead. So about a week had passed and we had lost our TV privileges because we've wasted them all on our emergency electricity. You never had that privilege to him in with. Why was it? He didn't even get through Dragon Ball Z. We got through like,

because we were too busy rewining it and laughing at shit because we're like super like you know if you watch the same thing over you start laughing at silly things and then when it ended up happening it went off so we didn't have power

and that was a week in and it was around that time where it's just like you start like boredom kicks in and it's like when you can't do anything you're fucking bored out of your mind so I went out back and I started taking a stick

and I started fucking digging into the gravel and I don't know why I just kept doing that for three hours that was digging. Sometimes people would come and they would come in and look at the fireworks and they would be like, yeah, do you have any sparklers? And it's like, really, come to a fucking fireworks stand and the only thing you want is fucking sparklers? What about the $600 fireworks in the bag? You want sparklers? You tell me this part, so people actually were buying things from you.

Yeah, people would come in. Did you pitch them, like, the good fireworks? Question two. Did they come at all hours of the night? Because it's a site? Yeah, yeah. at all hours. Some people were coming at like 2 a.m. They did you have like a bell that

they ding if they show up at 3 o'clock like a trucker just drives by? They were like pull up the fucking like stand thing and be like Do you have open hours and close out? Yeah we had it when it was open the door was open. Were you good at your job or bad at you We were terrible at her job. When we would when the door was closed like the fucking thing was closed and the thing was off it meant like you can't come in. That's why I got a shitty

burger today because the dude that was supposed to make my burger was sitting out back digging a hole with the stick. Where'd you get it from? Wendy's! Oh, did you know your favorite burger shop shut down, by the way? Burgermonger? Not burger, the other one. Rusty Shack?

Rusty Shack. Fuck that place. Maybe he shouldn't be charging $10 fucking for a burger. Maybe he shouldn't be a bipolar asshole that slams the window in people's faces when he gets three orders and he gets too flustered to deal with it. Well, he's gone now, so... Good. Anyways.

Corey, can I just say, I just love how you, like, adapt to whatever situation you're in. Like... It's a shame. too because they were great burgers. Like, Oh, well, I never had one. You scared me. If you just suddenly became like just absolutely homeless,

you'd just be like, well, this is life now. And you just, you do really well at it. Yeah, Nile, I'd waste all my resources. Like, if I was on an island and I had a bunch of cereal, I'd fucking eat it all.

Eat my hand. Yeah, but you're like, this is, should we, actually, you know, I actually did find out, I read a study recently where it's like, is it, if you were stranded on a desert island,

would it be worth eating your own limbs? and no, because it actually expends more energy to, like, the blood loss, the energy than you gain. Who the hell would write that article? That was a genuine article that I read, like, in the last week. I would have done with Tom Hanksden and hung myself off the tree. I mean, is it...

No, no. Yeah, Nile's right. Where the hell do I begin with that? Yeah, so, like, if you chop, if you're starting on a desert island, you chop off your arm to eat, you're going to expend more energy by, like, the blood loss, the trauma, everything,

then you're going to gain back from eating your arms. So you'll just be in arms. So you'll just be in arms. So I would not even ticking... So I would... and things. I would eat all my... Yeah, I would eat all my FedEx food and then I'd fucking kill myself by cutting off my arm and thinking I could eat that also.

All right, is there any more to the... Is there any more of the fireworks story? Should we cut... Yeah, no, there's more. There's a lot more. So, it had been a week and I was... You know, I kept on digging that hole. And I... Like, the fucking floor was actually, like, very, like, loose. And it just became a project I would do where I would just dig the hole. And the hole got bigger.

Inside the tent? Or outside? Outside the tent. Okay. It was bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And then that night, we actually, I remember it, like, very vividly because my, um, my friend had set up like these little, like, fucking, like, uh, these little home alone traps where he had, like, little fucking, like, fireworks that pop whenever you pull a rope. And then we had them, like, tied to a thing. And some little hooligan came in and pulled the thing and they went, like, they popped the stuff. And the fucking guy scurried down there.

So we, we had, like, a whole, like, setup. We had, like, a fucking home alone thing set in every single corner of the tent. So if someone tried some shit, we would hear it. And see, that was us trying to be good professionals. So you're wasting merchandise for Home Alone trips. Yeah, fucking Ted said things. What'd you do? But anyways, so they would check in occasionally.

And come, come like Firework Day. So like... Fourth of July? Yeah, firework, Fourth of July. Dude, that is such a shady business. Like, knowing this, all this and how they handle it, I could easily rob a fireworks. No, absolutely.

We probably should have whenever I end this. fucking story. So what ended up happening was, it had been like almost two weeks, and me and my friend were just, we just fucking, like, pissed. We were like, fuck this. This job's, isn't two weeks, $2,000 for this fucking shit. You prepared for the 4th of July on like the

20th of June? Yeah. Really? Yeah, we had to sit there and sit out there. So anyways, what happened, so people could get early deals. So anyways what happened was people started coming out around the night of, like, the 3rd to the 4th. And when people come out there, we'd be like, oh, hey, you want

fireworks, but oh, you see those ones back there? $100 and a half price, 50. And then we've come, people come, oh, dude, you get fucking three firsts. You get these, you get three of these for free. We were giving, we were fucking robbing these people because we didn't care. We were so mad.

We were, we were fucking drenched with anger and anguish. We were so fucking pissed. You weren't robbing them. You were fucking robbing the company. Yeah, rightfully so. Fucking doing that shit. But anyways, what ended up happening,

after all, half the firework thing was gone. We got the fireworks back. And the chick went up to me and she's like, unfortunately we aren't going to be able to pay you. She didn't check the inventory. She's like, unfortunately we aren't going to be able

to pay you two grand a piece. We're only going to pay you a grand. And we were like, so $500 a piece? And she was like, yeah. We're like $500 for two weeks of living in a fucking tent? She's like, yeah. So apparently people stole fireworks and all the other stands

and they had to compensate for that. So they take it out of your paycheck. Well, in fairness, you are the little, you're the... That wasn't us, though. In fairness, they didn't know that we were fucking watching the tent. No, I agree with you, but I'm... So what it is is a shady business to begin with. How is it that these fireworks, these people come up to you from watching a fire and say,

like, oh, the other stands were getting robbed. Yeah. So here's how... Exactly, like, the practice of cutting your pay for... Expenses you're getting no proof. Yeah, because they won't show you the fireworks. That's fucked up, but in your fucking rent. In your case, since you were the one giving away the fireworks, maybe it was a little

bit warranted for just you, but... Oh, no, it was warranted, but still, think of it that way. Corey, you were digging holes and then you were giving fireworks away for the wrong prices at the end. You were contributing to the reason that the business was really. Apparently, other people were doing the same thing. And because of you... Because of you, Corey, other people got their pay sliced.

No, everyone else was doing the same thing. Oh, everyone else was doing it. It was all a vicious cycle. So in the end, after... After that, my friend ended up stealing, I didn't even know he did this, my friend ended up stealing like fucking... What was his name? Dylan? Yeah. Dylan?

He ended up stealing. What's his last name? I don't want to say. He ended up stealing hundreds and hundreds of fireworks that were expensive as fuck. And I didn't even know this. And I went home and then he said, hey, we're going to have a big fireworks for you. I'm like, no, I don't give a shit. And after that, I never cared about fireworks.

To this day, whenever I see fireworks, I fucking turn the other chief, put a pillow over my ears, and I go to bed. Because fuck fireworks. And that's pretty much my fire was going. You know what else? That's it in a nutshell. You know what else probably came out of your paycheck? Is what's it called, employee loss. That's the short version.

When, like if, like Walmart, I know working for Walmart, they compensated the beginning of the year or something for employee theft. Yeah. So they're probably already compensated for that when you got, when everybody got in their tent. I can't give you too much shit. Corey, I can't give you. Yeah.

Well, who does that? Who sits fucking like 19 year olds out? there to watch fireworks and doesn't expect anything to happen. Do you guys have any other theft stories? Yeah, Corey, I can't give you too much shit for that because when I worked at McDonald's in Ireland and my friends were at a nightclub and they were coming to McDonald's after a... I used to give them burgers and shit.

No, yeah, but here's the thing though. And also like... Well, yeah, but that's shit you're throwing away at the end of the night. It's irrelevant. No, that would have been bought. That was the pack... Personal thing though, all aside, they were doing this... I found out later that this is what they've always done.

They don't play fully, they do price cuts, and that's how they get newcomers that come into the thing. It's a, I don't know what you would call that. It's like a snaky, snakey kind of salesman style thing where you hire people, you trick them in and say,

this is how much money you're going to get, and then you lie that things are wasted. Because they get a certain amount of pay. They get that. The higher-ups get that. And whatever is left is supposed to be for them. So if anything comes out of the paycheck, it comes from the people's things.

Dude, that's like telemarketing, selling knives, selling vacuum cleaners, pyramid schemes. Yeah, it's a pyramid scheme. Did you find, I was in a pyramid scheme In a newspaper of my chance?

It's not a pyramid scheme Well not a pyramid scheme I'm just saying like There's a word for it though What's a Ponzi scheme? Maybe it's that Let's just say it's that It's all snaky bullshit

Where if it sounds too good to be true Then it's too good to be true Yeah I learned that the hard way After being a fucking Two Gs a month man You make like 400 Kmart I'm like go When you think about it

You're like wow two grand That's how to get people in the fucking military Because it's like hey Your sign on bonus is $1,000 Never mind the four years We have to shoot Arabs and then also get shot yourself Yeah, to be fair though All you think about is the sound system

You want to put in your car I don't sound too preachy but To be fair the minor fireworks we sold We know it wasn't like a fucking old People were coming in from every county You fucking cars lined up for miles Make it so much bank The most we got away with like we

$500 easily is how much we underpaid But I feel like we should have We justified the means at the end Because what they did were fucking bullshit to begin with, in the fucking back hill waters of Missouri, in the fucking firework islands, this bullshit. Moral of the story. It's all fucking bullshit.

Never trust anything anybody ever says, especially when it revolves around money. No, never trust anything too good to be true. Corey, I owe you $30. I'm sorry about that. So that was my fireworks story. Does anyone have any questions about that? No, but you have a good way.

I just like your way with words. No. Well, finally Corey and Nile on Stanford. Shut the fuck up when I can talk. That was a firework story from Corey. Join us next time on Sleepycast. God bless America and God bless the United Kingdom, Japan, and some of Russia. Goodbye.

Also God bless you, and also Africa. Goodbye. Satan bless China. Goodbye.