SleepyCabin - SleepyCast Lost Episode - [Señor Treachery] (AGUA EDITION)

Episode Date: June 6, 2015

* Whoops, the original MP3 was misnamed - should be Señor Treachery, not Señor Salsa! I've since re-uploaded a properly tagged MP3. (Sorry, I had tacos on the mind.) Anyway - we sit around and casually discuss treachery and something else, I can't really remember because I'm sorta drunk! This episode starring: Stamper (www.youtube.com/StamperTV) Ricepirate (www.youtube.com/ricepiratenewgrounds) JohnnyUtah (http://johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Paul Raymond, John Erlinger, Hector I. Murillo, Susparty, Timothy Smith, John Toomey, k0xfilter, skooks, Sonny Canchola, Liam Staley, Sindre Norheim, Denis DeLong, Jace Baker, Jacob Miller, Shane Danells, Ryan Pagonis, Trevor Wood, Brian Adam, Joseph McCarty, Lukas Jones, Matt, ubernoobinator, Michael Westermeyer, Riley Paul, Drake, Joshua Tully, William Sawikin, Dean Borris, Corbin, Windmill Punches, Rodolfo Davis Millet, Travis Wager, Schegerino, Corbin Record, Nile DeFreitas, Nicholas Rose, and Chris Cunniffe +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

This is a sleepy cast lost episode. Senior Treachery. Agua Edition. Featuring Stamper, Rice Pirate, and Johnny Utah. My name is Captain Dickhead, FYI. Refried beans look exactly the same coming out, and you can't even taste the difference. All right.

What's on the agenda of that tonight, ladies? Rock and roll. Stamper. Stamper's back. Stamper's back. Stamper's back. Jeff's just like, uh. The end. Oh yeah. He's right.

What? And I'm with Rice Pirate and Johnny Utah. Hey, how's it going? And we're going to keep this one really casual and relaxed, ladies. Yeah, see, Stamper just got back from a long stint in San Diego. He wasn't quitting a sleepy cabin. I read. He wasn't.

I read the conspiracy, the sleepy conspiracies. I read on the internet, he quit. Yeah, he quit, or he was killed, or he died from alcohol poisoning or piss poisoning. Well, that's fucking news to me, all of it. Oh, yeah, that's right, because you disappeared off the radar. But you're back. Yeah, I was working. Surprise!

Yeah. Are you allowed to say what you were working on? Yeah, I was working on game four with the behemoth. The end. Sounds great. That was a good story. Yeah. Hey, Mick, do me a favor.

Yeah. So I got this bottle of smart water here. Yes. And on the back... What the fuck did you tape to it? Did you just do that? Is that your fly trap? Dude, it's a fruit fly trap.

If you put a little cone of paper in the top, just look up fruit fly traps and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Why are you full, you're full of like the weirdest life hack information. Like when we do our cooking show, I want you to show people that sponge trick. Okay. Just all sorts of weird ass shit. So basically there's a smart water bottle cut off the top and then a cone of paper that That's put into the top and then taped on.

And then what? What happens? Well, you put like... Wait, hold on. Jeff looked like he knew. Oh, it was kind of related, but there was some... Somebody left something out in here one day. It was the bet...

It was filled with flies. And I said, what genius set this up? Oh, right. And it turns out somebody just left in, like, an open soda bottle. And it wasn't intentional. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so the idea...

Oh, no, water. I mean, like, at the house, dude, like, you leave some standing water, like in the bathtub or something. You come back a couple days later. And it's just like the whole box. bottom of the bathtub's filled with disgusting dead animals. Maybe in China. But now, the cone,

it points at the top. So they fly down to get the vinegar or whatever you put in the bottle, and then they can't get back up. And then you just throw the whole bottle away. This has been a fucking Holocaust. This catches shit left and right. Yeah.

So it's either, you can put blue cheese dressing, whatever would attract fruit flies. Sure. But anyways. So I got a smart water bottle and you see this bright blue text on the back? Yeah. I want you to voice act your way through that. Okay.

As if it was a commercial. And everyone can hear how fucking patronizing this shit is. Alright, now I have had a beer. That sounded shit. I've had like 20 beers. And it's been a long day. I've had a beer. All right, here you go. A smart water. Here you go. You ready?

Clouds get a bad rap. They're the unsung heroes because they contain nature's purest source of water. That's why we copied our puffy white friends to create pure vapor distilled smart water. But we won up the clouds by adding electrolytes. It's a difference you can taste. Unless you like the taste of stuff that comes from the ground.

Like spring water. What the fuck? Dude, I'm telling you. What did this? Like spring water. Unless you like the taste of water that's on the ground. What is this fucking cloud water? My ass.

Is it just me? That is the most fucking pageant-out water. Like we've been sitting around fucking drinking cloud water all day. You fucking groundwater drinkers. Drink some fucking cloud water, you noob. What the fuck is this? They're paying advertising people like over 100,000 a year to... To write shit like that.

It literally says, unless you like the taste of stuff that comes from underground. And then in parentheses, like spring water. On every other bottle of water. No, no, no. That's it. It's like... Dear spring water. Fiji, whatever. It's like, oh, we come from underground springs doing this and that.

You know what? That's not good enough. I'm going to tell you right now, that's the worst fucking advertising ever because a lot of the nutrients that you get, like, mineral shit, is because it comes from the ground. You get like the calcium and there's a bunch of, not calcium, but there's a bunch of mineral zinc and shit like that. You get from water that comes from the ground. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. That shit's healthier.

And then with smart water, they have to justify it early and be like, yeah, we, we, we, We have a vapor distilled water that we add shit to. No, I love how the font, too, is like so bright. It's like you can't fucking miss it. Look at it. It's like aqua fucking blue. Yeah. And they do that thing where it's all lowercase, so it's like, yeah, you know, we don't care.

We're hip and cool. Yeah. My problem with water bottles. Fuck smart water. Nah, smart water's good. They're actually, I don't know if you've gone into, I don't know if you've looked at them in Wawa lately, but they're starting to look more and more like shampoo bottles than something you do. Dude, boss water looks exactly. like a shampoo bottle. It does. It does.

It's more than one. Dude, when Voss first came out, it was like, fucking, like, $40 a bottle or something. Now it's, like, fairly comparable. I remember when it first came, because it was a club, it was like, in the clubs, you get water and they put it, like, in a Voss bottle and it would be, like, so fucking expensive. You go to a titty bar, and it's all fucking Voss.

Well, they also had, didn't, it wasn't there, like, some JZ thing or some, whatever, where it was, like, gold, there was, like, gold in the water? It was, like, literally had gold flakes in it, and every bottle it was, like, $100 fucking dollars, where it was just water with gold in it, whatever. So you're drinking gold? Fuck those assholes.

Burger King and McDonald's have like the Pepsi and Coke water brand and strip clubs have the Voss water. That's right. Strip clubs, high-end fucking coffee shops. It's like tossed us sparkling and still water. Talking about water, well

actually, I don't want to sound like a nerd, but Pellegrino next to like my own, what's it called? I brought it to the house. The soda's Yeah, the soda stream. Soda stream. Fucking love that shit.

But yeah, if it's not that, I do like carbonated water. I'm a big carbonated water guy. And also, like, there's, like, flavored seltzer waters. I don't know if it's Cigrams. I can't remember who makes it. But, like, all those flavored ones, I fucking love, like, the raspberry one. Anyways. I can't stand carbonated water.

It's because you gay. But anyways, I was going to say the other waters. No, it's like tricking you. It's like soda, and it tastes salty. Yeah. It's not fucking salty. I know, but it, like, tricks you into thinking you're drinking a broken soda. Yeah. Yeah, but

it's like, well, look, if you're a diet soda drinker, there's nothing like flavored with no calories and no like fake sugars. Do you know what I have a bad reaction to it? It's like, whenever you go into a restaurant and use like the soda machine. Yeah, yeah, and they don't have any it. Oh yeah, that's what it tastes like

because it doesn't have the syrup in it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it doesn't get to taste like that. That's what I think of, yeah. Broken soda. Change your thoughts. Change your mind. There's this one soda that I got. It's called or this one water, bought water called black. Is that what it's called black? But basically it's, the water

is like brownish and black. Oh, and it's water, yeah. It's mineral water. But they're like, yeah, it's because it comes from the ground. Like, it's so far, it's so far deep in the ground, this water's fucking black. It doesn't make any... But it's super... It is black water. And it is healthy. I got it from Joa.

I've never heard of this. I fucking drink it all time. Oh, I don't drink it all that. What is actually making it black? It's not just minerals. They say it's minerals. They say it's because it's not like to... Dude, it looks like Coke, but it's not carbonate. It's straight up black water. It looks like cocaine. When you drink it, it tastes like rocky water. Like you're drinking water out of a river. That sounds like a nightmare for people with kidney stones. Do you ever read that story where they, they went down into a cave and they found water that was, I don't want to get the details messed up here, but they found still, like, they found resting water. Yeah. That bubbled up out of the ground that was literally millions of years old.

What? Yeah. Like it was just sitting in the ground for millions. How did they test it? Did it have like organisms from millions of years ago? There was either a lack of, there was such a lack of oxygen in the water. I don't know. I don't know how they, I wish I researched this before I knew this is going to be the water podcast. The water podcast? Yeah, like the water popped up out of the ground when they went into this cave and it was apparently, I don't know what was wrong with it, but it was like pure water, but somehow it was almost borderline poisonous to drink.

Of course. Dude, they always talk about, like, if you had a time machine and you went back in time for, like, dinosaur times, you breathe the air and you'd be fucking dead because of all the organisms and all the shit that your body is not prepared for. And or, you, just by being there and breathing, would kill, like, every fucking thing around you. Like, if you, like, sneezed on a Tyrannosaurus rex, it would just fucking keel over and die because we've got, like, there's just different organisms in our body. And, you know what I mean? Like, the different toxins and stuff like that. This ain't the Simpsons man. I wonder if scientists.

That absolutely would happen. If you sneezed on a fucking dinosaur, I bet you would kill it. Some scientists would get in a dinosaur's face, I guess, yeah. Well, he'd eat you and then you'd kill him with your poison. Apparently, oxygen in the atmosphere was way more dense back then. That's true, too. That's right. You may not even be able to breathe.

That's the other thing, yeah. Whether it was more dense or less dense, regardless, the air back then was very different. I would go back to when there was no trees, and there was just, like, pretty much like big mushrooms. Then you... There's no way you could survive then. Absolutely. I'd love to see it, though. Yeah.

I want to go back and see dragons. I want to see car-sized scorpions. I want to see car-sized scorpions. There were. They were real. Were they? Yeah. They have a skeleton, an exoskeleton.

They found some... Scorpions don't have bones, dick. That's why I said exoscelotin. They might have been aquatic scorpions or something. I remember seeing a... I saw a fun illustration of a scorpion. That was the size of a small car. So you can see...

like a dinosaur getting fucking killed by a scorpion? I don't know if they attacked dinosaurs. Oh yo, what was that, um, the, um, shit, I forget what it was called. It was called, um, I want to say like the Fox Eagle or whatever the hell. What the fuck? This is like the biggest eagle on the face of the planet and it, it went extinct, not, I wouldn't say recently, but not too long ago, but, not too long ago. Yeah, it was like the world's largest eagle, it was massive.

Oh yeah, no, didn't they say like it could, it attacked people? It could easily scoop you up and just take you. away. It was huge. So it was like the Eagles from Lord of the Rings. They apparently, the humanoid, people 10,000 years ago were actually scared of this thing. Were they riding them? Did they... Into the sunset?

They taped them and then were able to ride them? Possibly hunted people. No, I was called like the Hawkins Eagle or whatever. Just type in like giant eagle. Oh yeah, it was huge. It was fucking massive. There's nothing sexier than like anytime you see like a woman riding

some huge ass fucking animal. like a polar bear or a tight like Frank Frisetta right yeah he did the drawings of the girl like riding the polar bear or like tigers and shit like that like the cover of heavy metal oh actually they did that yeah like heavy metal exactly like that but they did uh

but they did that in that that uh fury fucking Kung Fury where that girl was writing the huge ass gray wolf oh yeah yeah yeah that shit's fucking hot I think there's nothing sexier than a woman blowing me while she's naked for that

And then having sex with me. That's a lot. Yeah, you lost that one, Mick. I think it's sexier if she's fully clothed, to be honest. You like watching them right around on wolves and stuff like that. But I like naked women that are blowing me and having sex with me. What are you a pervert? Yes, I am.

Get with the program. All right, speaking of water and women. Yeah. I haven't been on our podcast. It's so long. I forget how this shit operates. You do what you're doing right now. Just keep drinking and talking.

All right. You're gonna be a-okay. Yeah. You look like fucking Daredevil right now. He does look Daredevil. Yeah, with your fucking Beanie over your face. It's a Daredevil mask. Hmm?

I never understood about Daredevil. Eye holes. The old, yeah, exactly. The old comic and the new show. Like, he gets his costume and the dude puts eye holes in it. The dude can't see anyways. They're not, they're not real. Look, they have like the eye-holes.

Why not keep the fucking, like, the thing, just his whole mask is just a blank slate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not real eye holes. It's just like, It's like the shape of the eyehole, but it's covered. To what, for what end? Maybe it's to make your enemies think you could see to make them more intimidated. Wouldn't your enemies be more intimidated?

Dude, if you got your ass whipped in the street by a blind guy that was clearly covering his face, you'd be scared shitless, man. I don't know. I'd like to see that test. Would they be more likely to want to swing a bat at your head if they could think you could see? I think they, I think, no, no, no. I think if you see. Oh, I see if they were blind. Right. If I swung a bat at a dude that had his eyes covered and he dodged everything and kicked the shit out of me, I would tell everyone.

If I saw a guy in a fighting stance with a mask over his face that clearly couldn't see you, but he was clearly like... You knew he could see you? An confident fighting stance you. So you didn't even know. He could sense you. I think I'd be more scared. Yeah. I'd know what to do? You know why? Popular media. That's why. I'd like anything could happen right now. You've been trained to believe that. You've been trained by Zatoichi by freaking, uh, Daredevil by all these movies with blind dudes. It would work. It would work. What's the scariest thing if someone came up to you and they were like, they were, you try to intimidate you?

What would be the most intimidating thing someone could do to you? You're in a dark, hold on, hold on. You just went to a bar. You're with your friends. You had a few drinks. It's late. You're trying to get back to your place. You're not really thinking about shit besides getting home.

All of a sudden, on your way to your car, you decide to take a back alley. Some dude stops you in this alley. What is the most intimidating thing this dude could do? See, that's the thing. To freak you the fuck out in this alley. If somebody, like, pulled out a knife or a gun or something like that, I feel like I'd be ready for that, and I'd be like, okay. And then you could run. Well, that's interesting.

I've thought about this, actually. I've thought about what I could do to intimidate somebody. Okay. Wait, why? I think if he start just self-harming himself, like, if he took a knife and just slowly started, like, shoving it into his shoulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that, and he's just looking at you and not making an expression as he's, I don't know, something like. something like that. Something along those lines.

You've thought about this though. Yeah. For me it's like it's like trivial shit. Like if they just did something trivial, like it's more confusing than the blunt, anything like violent or threatening. It's always in the trivial shit that

it's confusing. It's this when you know that somebody's a... I always thought like if they like pulled their pants down and whipped their dick out and started jacking off in front of me, I'd be kind of concerned. I'd ask if I could help. I just watched the video like You need help with that, dude? You did?

Some guy, some guy was trying to rob another guy, another dude ripped his pants down, and the thief, like, booked it out of, he started chasing him down the street with his pants down, and the guy, like, just, the second his pants were down, he took off. I was like, that worked. But see, that's exactly why I said it,

because I feel like it's the most unexpected thing you can imagine. If you're like, someone tries to rob you, you drop your pants, turn around, start thumbing your asshole or something like that, what's the guy going to do? do? Literally. Pull your hand away from your ass? No, he's not. He's going to fucking run away.

He's going to be like, what the fuck is this guy? I'm out. I'm done. He's going to throw his hands up in the air and say, done, I'm done, and walk away. It's easily work in 95% of cases. So the next time you're getting robbed, pull your pants down and pop your thumb up your ass and you'll be... You know what? I guarantee you're going to

freak somebody out. I know Mick would have no problem doing that. Fuck you. I'd probably hesitate. You might. You might do it too. I think Stamper would have problem. I'm not all into the ass play like Stamper. I'd kind of like slowly pull my pants down but not in it. He'd have time to like you'd sensually slowly

unzip your fly. I'd nervously do it where he wouldn't be freaked. You'd have to do it really fast to be freaked out right away. That's true. You have to do it violently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just scream as loud as you can while you're shaking and then rip your pants off right in front of them. Yeah, helicopter your dick in front

of them. That would definitely fucking come out. You don't have to do anything sexual. You can just pull your pants down, just drop them like a toddler at a urinal. Yeah. And then just say something like, I am the god of my own world. Yeah. Just stand there. That's true. Yeah, that'll work. Yeah. This is, these are all real

life advice right here. This is working. It's just our helicoptering towards them. That's right. We're going to get a... Come with me to Vahala. We're going to get a letter. We're going to get a letter later from somebody that's like, dude, that Valhalla thing saved my fucking life. I pulled my dick out and whipped it around. Yeah, we're the opposite.

I did the Valhalla thing and the guy chopped my dick off and then fucking shot me. And then he stole my wallet. So I'm standing there with the chopped off dick. Can me sip of your beer? You can't. Thanks. You can't have all of it though. Motherfucker. So that's steel reserve, huh?

Yeah, steel reserve. This was an old college drink I had with my buddy. Oh, I mentioned him on Twitter or not so long ago. My friend Matt He's actually on Broadway right now. He's actually been on Broadway for years now, but he... Broadway, huh? Yeah. It's the poor man's Hollywood.

Oh, shit. No, he's... Not, but seriously, it is. He's a good guy. But he was actually the one that got me into a lot of trouble back in the day. He's not all that handsome either. Shut up. He's a Jew.

Was he the dude that told you to jump on the train tracks? Yeah. He was the one who got me to jump on the train tracks. His dad was like a psychologist or something like that. And I guess... Tune into the previous, previous... Previous, previous, previous episode to get that story. So apparently, I didn't know this, but like, if you have a PhD of any kind, if you're a doctor of any kind, you could be the doctor of fucking homosexual dragons.

It doesn't fucking matter. If you have a doctorate and something, like me, they fucking hand you these, they'll give you like Viagra and or like antidepressant, like all the experimental shit. As long as you have a PhD, it doesn't matter what the fuck you are, they'll fucking give you these weird ass drugs for shit. So, like, I think his dad was, like, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I don't fucking remember. But all I remember is he would get samples for, like, by, like, different kind of, like, a fucking erectile dysfunction drugs and shit. Yeah.

And so we were doing, I think we were doing Coriolanus together. And, uh... You were doing what together? Cori... Yeah, it sounds like a fucking sexual position. It's a Shakespearean play, you fucking uncivilized. I didn't say shit. Okay, anyways.

So we were doing Coriolanus and or... There was a couple other things we were doing at the time. Anyways, he handed me some of these things and we would do this thing because we were both poor. But he was like, listen, and we always dared each other to do stuff for stuff. So it was like, jump in the train tracks, I'll buy you a beer. And I'd be, well, you do this and I'll give you that. So he was like, listen, I needed breakfast. I did.

And he was like, look, I'll buy you a muffin and a coffee if you take this erectile dysfunction drug during rehearsal. And I was like, okay, whatever. Like, honestly, like, you know, you're so poor. You know, it didn't phase you. So I took whatever this fucking shit was And I remember I got so lightheaded It was the weirdest fucking thing I thought it was fucking tripping

I started getting tracers Are they called tracers? What do you call them in your eyes? Floaters Floaters yeah Where I was getting like those little like rainbow shits in my eyes And then apparently I didn't know this But he had told one of the cast people Which was a girl like one of the only girls

That that was what had happened So she did this thing where she was sitting down It was in a church at the time But we were on this church pew and she started like talking to me, like, people were rehearsing and it wasn't our scene. And then you fucked her. No, she started, no, I didn't fuck her. What?

But she started, like, rubbing my leg while we were talking. And then you fucked her. No, I never fucked her. All right. God damn it. But anyways, I did get a huge crazy boner, and it was very awkward. And then you fucked her. And then I fucked her.

No, I never fucked her, you fucks? Anyways, this guy, that was the guy, like, that was the type of shit that it ended up happening. And then you fucked him. Then I fucked him. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And then you got new friends that weren't assholes. You know what? At the time, though, because it was a mutual...

Hey, Mick, you want some breakfast? So after I jumped into the train tracks, you know I hurt my leg, right? Yeah, is there a lighter? Was there a train anywhere nearby, or did you just jump on empty train tracks? No, we were in a subway. Oh, you missed a podcast? It was like three in the morning. I was with this girl who visited from Washington.

And by the way, her father was the vice president of Wizards of the Coast. Anyways, and I didn't even really understand what that meant at the time. I couldn't appreciate it. Back now, I'd be like, oh, my God. You mean she's like, he's a president of a wizard. Vice president of wizard. Were you thinking of like literal wizards? Magic the gathering, John.

I know what it is. Anyways, so I was on crutches most of that summer. There was a party at his house, and I remember. This is an Irish story. This isn't an Irish story. So from my place, I was in, like, in New York, there's the L train. And the L train takes you from 14th Street or whatever Manhattan into Williamsburg, right? The Loozer train.

Right after Williamsburg, which is where all the hipsters were born, is Lorimer, and then I think it was Graham, Grand, and then I was on Montrose. That was like the fifth stop, right? And so we were Montrose, which is outside of Williamsburg. Williamsburg, like very preppy, like totally safe. Montrose at the time was kind of, it was dangerous. So while I was there, he was... Why was it dangerous, Mick? Because...

because why make they were because I didn't have you to protect gay gays aren't threatening anyways so what happened was his house was like several stops later but it was so hot and it was a summer and we had friends and we were all going to walk to his place

but I was on crutches so we were walking to his place on our way to my friend matt's party yeah there was a small park ahead of us we'd maybe gone like a half hour and the whole trip was maybe like an hour from walking distance but I was a stupid kid and I was like, yeah, I'll just use my crutches.

Halfway across, we get to this park, and we hear what sounds like fireworks. In this little park, I had some trees. Kids. Is it daytime? No, nighttime. Kids, because we're going to the party. Gotcha. Kids come running out, running out of, like fucking spiders and bushes,

like just pouring out of this park. Spiders and bushes? I'm from Washington. When I was a kid, we had these bushes in front of our house. Don't tangent. Go continue the original story. Somebody took like a hedge trimmer to these bushes, and apparently there was a spider nest in the bushes, and they just pour, it looked like black water just pouring out of a bush, but it was just baby spiders. We're back on black water again.

Oh, yeah, back to the water. Anyways. This is a long, okay. Oh, I was still going. So all these kids start running out of the park. Because of spiders. No, because of the fireworks that were going off in, in this little park. But it wasn't fireworks.

This little black kid hides behind one of the fire. like the mailing like the blue mailboxes the little curved ones at the top the post office yeah yeah yeah and he goes you gotta hide the gun people are here

I was like what and I'm on crutches so I'm like trying to be like all my friends start running down one of the streets and I'm like and I start like running up my crutches like trying to fucking get away your friends just bailed on you

look I don't think anyone turned around and was like oh we gotta get the fuck I just think everyone's they just showed up to start shooting apparently no no apparently there was actually a gut like some people shot each other in this park on our way to this party but what happened was the gun people are here yeah so I so anyways the fucking so all the kids run out and this kid was hiding behind the thing and I'm sitting there with crutches like in the middle of the street and all my friends booked down the street like past the park and I'm like uh so I'm like sitting there trying I mean nothing happened to me obviously it's too bad fuck you killed. Anyways, so that was on the way to his party. We get to the party and

apparently he had a bunch of absinthe because the set designers from the Dracula show or some show that we had done they would make their own absent, like flavored absinth like different types of flavors. But I remember when I got to his house, he was like oh yeah, mix here, yay, and I told him the story

and he told him the story, he's like, oh, this crazy, blah. But then in front of everybody he had apparently found some bees, some some half dead bees and he froze them. And he froze them in a straight line, but it's like wave. It's like, and then he put him in the freezer. And then he, because we like to dare each other to do things, he waited for me to show up.

Just so in front of everybody, I would eat the frozen bees. This is an adventure beyond any of that I can imagine. And then I ate the bees. I'm going to link, the reason why I'm telling the story is because I'm going to link them to the podcast, because I think he's going to hoot out of it. But anyways, I ate the bee. but initially I had a you know they're sitting there like I don't know

what happens to your tongue if you eat a fucking dead bee like do you get stung I don't know so then everyone started chanting they're like eat the bee whatever and then I ate it nothing happened Stamper What would you rate this story? What the hell

was that? I don't know I don't know this is 10 minutes of I don't know I don't know what that was And I ate the bees that was a totally Irish story man I took a half Irish I took a drink my girl My name is fucking Nick What? That's true.

My name is Mick. I am half Irish. Not because of my name, but I was... There was somebody who was a wizard of the coast president, a train, eating bees, a black kid with the gun people shooting other people. I don't know what the point was. I don't know the point that was.

The point was his friend dared him to do things. Yeah, that was it. Oh yeah, we talked about... Christ Almighty So he dared me eat the bees. But in order to get to the bees, I had to go through the story. You're like a woman. It's like everything you say is it's got to.

It's not true. It's so not true. It's so not true. A little bit. If I was a woman, I would call you while I was up in my room and you were down in your room and I'd be like, Stamper, what you do? No. Uh-oh. Here's what would happen.

Give me the beer. Here. Take the beer. I'll buy some more. It's like, what did you eat for lunch today, Mick? And then it's like, well, this morning I was thinking about making a pumpkin pie. But I thought that was a really bad idea because it wouldn't be done by the night. What did you do today?

I did some work. What the fucking fun is that? No, I was on crutches, some dude got shot, some kid told me to hide, and then I ate some frozen bees. This was over the course of like two hours or something. This was over the course of, yeah, like three hours. Let me tell you how story works. What?

Let me show you. Jeff, you went to the grocery store recently. What did you buy? Hamburgers. Boring! That's a story. No, that's not a story. That's just a fucking reciting of a fact.

Well, no, but we asked you... How tall are you? Six, three. Well, we got the information, and really quick, he bought hamburgers. And you know what? I built up the rest of my mind. I was like, holy shit.

He brought him home. He put cheese on them, ketchup. Speaking of hamburgers? I do. Put onions on them. Shut up. Maybe some marinated mushrooms. I started to get hungry.

Oh, now you're becoming... Now you're the storyteller. Now you're throwing all the fucking facts and the little details in there. Wrong. I'm throwing toppings on a burger, my friend. You should film this. Kind of like,

the movie Clue, we're like, they keep resetting the end of the movie, like different shit that. Mick keeps dying in different ways. Is this Groundhog Day to you? Do you feel like you're reliving the same situation over and over again? Oh, speaking which, Jeff. Yeah, hello. Wawa story. Oh, well, you know, I... Let me know what happened.

Well, sure, all right. We have similar stories, but yeah, I went into Wawa, and I was just buying a cappuccino, like a big fag. Because I'd need that over my coffee. And apparently this guy was trying to sneak out of Wawa with us with a with a 12 inch sub

And So at Wawa you go up To the deli counter And you punch in your order And a lot of people aren't familiar With the way Wawa works It's like They have a digital ordering system

A little menu Basically it's like 7-11 Or any other convenience store You walk up And if you want a fucking sandwich It was really fucking convenient You can get one at like 3 o'clock in the morning You walk up and it's like

I want a turkey sandwich And you hit the tomato button Because you want tomatoes and so forth run by robots. I just want to be clear. I think we talk up Wawa a lot. It's not that they have the best food in the universe. It's just the fact that it's so fucking convenient. Available. It's 24-7 every day of the year. And the quality is terrible, right? It's good enough.

Yeah, okay. It's good enough for 3 or 4 in the morning. It's definitely good enough, yeah. Got it. Well, at 3 in the morning, pretty much anything's fucking great. There ain't no place you can get a sandwich. That's what we like it. That's what we like it. Right. So a dude orders a sandwich. You place your order, you get a receipt for it. Yep. And then they make your sandwich. Right.

And you pay for it. And he did not pay for it. He tried to walk out. Yeah. Apparently, what I picked up on, the cashier, he has seen this dude do this several times where he buys the sandwich and he'll sneak out. Could you see him eyeing him or something? Like, while he was in there? Yeah.

Well, he caught him. He caught him going out the door. Oh, okay. He saw him leaving the door. And he said, hey, man, you need to pay for that. And he was there with friends who left, who went out the door. before him and he said oh no no no no my my friends picked up the bill they paid for it were they really his friends or was he just pointing at random people they they came in with them so yeah they

were his i don't know if i don't know if his friends knew he was placing the blame on them or not but the cashier is like no no no that's fucked up he's like i know you didn't pay for it i have a follow-up to this but yeah go on and and the guy you know this guy is some he you know he looked strung out or drunk or on drugs or, you know, he looked, his eyes were like really wide open and bloodshot and I don't know what the hell was going on, but he came back in, he's like, no man, I paid for it. He's like, and the cashier, he's like, listen, he's like, I know I've seen you do this before. You're not getting away with it. He's like, if you walk out that door right now, I'm calling the cops. Yeah. And the guy, you know, I think the cashier is being reasonable. He's like, if you just give me, if you give me that back right now, I won't call the cops, but I want you to get out of here right now. You know what's weird though? What's up? He's probably going to take it to the back and just throw it. He's the sandwich in the trash. Oh, yeah. Well, you'd have to, yeah. The same guy, the same guy

made, fucked up my order last night. But I said, yeah, it's okay. It's cool. I don't want to waste the food, so I just took it. It's more like a matter of principle. You're good man. You just can't do it. Yeah.

I don't like that, too. Yeah, no, but, you know, I think this guy was fed up because I think his co-worker, he, I think he was extra pissed off at his co-worker, too, because his coworker always kind of let the dude leave and didn't make a stink about it. But, um, so he walks up, rips the sandwich out of the dude's hand. he leaves, then the woman behind the counter is like, hey, man, you don't want me to call the cops?

And he's like, nah. But then the guy comes back and he's angrier. He's like... What? Yeah, he comes back in. The thief comes back. Yes. He really wanted... He's self-entitled motherfucker. He's giving the cashier shit. What did he say? At first, he's like, I think he was upset that the guy was threatening to call the cops on him. So he's giving him shit about that. And then he leaves again. And then he comes back again. He's like, you disrespecting me? And he's saying this disrespecting. How can you defend your point? You just try to rob the fucking place.

I don't know. He's getting really, then he starts leaning over the counter at the cashier. And the whole time you're standing there just trying to buy a fucking cappuccino. This is the courage. This is why it's good you carry a gun with you, you know, like just in case of these situations. A woman finishes my cappuccino, by the way. puts it on the counter.

You need a downgrade to a pistol, though, man. This fucking shotguns are working. Yeah, dude, this fucking huge. Put a hole in somebody. I was initially feeling inconvenience, but now I'm being nervous because this guy is getting a little aggressive. Oh, yeah. you know what's going to happen. You know something's going to happen. And then he's leaning over the counter. And then his friend comes back in.

Oh, no. I'm like, oh, shit. All right. This is about to get interesting. But luckily, the friend, as in, I've seen, as many people, I'm sure I've seen the situation, see the drunk friend acting up. Oh, right. And rip, and pull him out of the situation. Yeah.

But then, you know, then the cop comes. Oh, shit. So, wow, that was a fast turnaround for the cops. The cop came very fast. He came within, like, I swear he was there in less than a minute. Police officer. Yes, the police officer. And this is Glenside, though, right? Yeah.

Yeah, so there's cops all over Glenside all the time. Police officers. Sorry, if I drive down any, like, Easton Road, at any point in time after 11 p.m., I see at least four or five cops just camp down. Police officers. What did I say? Cop. Oh, shit, sorry.

Technically, a slightly lower than normal crime. area with high taxes. So I think they have plenty of cops on the Oh yeah. Plenty of police officers. Yo, they show up at our office all the fucking time. But I do feel safe in the area. I mean, I do. They seem like I just don't want a speeding ticket.

Yo, they come by the office and they bang on the door. I'm like, who is it? Who is it? That's why I don't want you with that fucking, that fucking blank gun anywhere around. Oh, dude. Yeah, there's that one time. They've come by before. They bang on the door and like, what are you doing here?

And it's like, oh, wait. work here, this is our building. It's like, oh really? Can I come in? It's like, yeah, you can. This one dude came by one, this one police officer came by once. And he walked around the place and the first thing I had to tell him was

dude, that's not a real gun. Because it's just sitting there with fucking bullets all around it. But I'm just paranoid as fuck that some cops can come, like Zach, Chris or Nile are going to be doing something in here and a cop is going to bust in and see that. So like Nile just

gonna pick up the gun like a joke and then he's gonna get killed fucking Hans did that do you remember that yeah you wanna tell that story I wasn't there I thought oh were you there no but a cop actually came up to him well yeah there were

Chris and Hans and I don't know who the fuck was doing it but they were filming something in the front yard in broad daylight shooting a fucking pistol that shoots when it actually worked were they actually shooting blanks or was it Yeah, and then somebody called the cops on them.

They goes making realistic guns. This is exactly what it. Yeah. Dude, no, there's horror stories of people that think that blanks are just blanks and they don't do anything, but they're fucking, they're really dangerous. Oh, yeah. To test it out, we went to the basement and we drew a face on a piece of paper and we held it up. And we pointed the gun right into the piece of paper and the paper fucking exploded. You know, you can do that.

You can do that from like... Into fucking confetti. Dude, you can do that from 10 feet away. That's the biggest problem. when I went to, because I went to acting school, but our teacher, David Berman, he was telling all these horror stories because he used to work on some of the sets of some of these films.

People have killed themselves. They have. Because they'd be, like, fucking around with their friends. They'd be like, yeah, it's a gun with blanks, and they put it right up to their temple, and they fucking pull the trigger, and guess what? Their fucking brains get blown out by air. Like, no bullet comes out, but they can fucking kill themselves with a blank

because people are fucking stupid. Or they do it to their friends. Like, oh, check this out, check this out. And they fucking pull it. the trigger on a blank in front of their friends and fucking blow their eye in or blow their fucking brains out. And the skulls like shatter inward. And the one thing I noticed... Because it's still

the air. I still like the power of... I feel nervous holding a plastic gun up to my head. Well, the thing there too is like why even do that? Because I've shot real pistols and I swear to Christ, that thing over there cracks off louder by two, three, four

times louder than anything any real pistol would do. Well, probably because there's no resistance. If you have a bullet, I don't know this for a fact. But, like, why would you put that by your ear ever? Right, right, right.

Why would you put that? We shot it in the basement. I couldn't hear it for three days. And that was just from like sound resonating around the fucking place. Yeah. So wait. So what happens at the end of the Wawa story?

The friend pulls him off and that's it? You know, I might have gotten on that Han story wrong, by the way. It was uneventful. It was uneventful. But yeah, not to despair. Did you feel like something could have, if his friend didn't come in,

Did you feel like something could have happened? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. The guy, he was getting really agitated. I mean, and the friend would... Again, man. What can you say?

Hold on. The fact that his friend had to come in and stop it probably tells you that, yeah, that situation could have gotten ugly. Because his friend knew. I mean, it was basically myself and there was a delivery man in there, too. We were both, like, in a holding pattern. We're like, all right, we're just going to stand here. We're going to wait for something to happen. Yeah.

We're going to observe. Yeah. And if this little... If I need to drop kick somebody... The little asshole, yeah, starts swinging, we're going to try... Yeah. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to be a fucking hero, but I feel like in this situation,

I feel like I would have had to have done something to help and not run out like a little girl. Oh, you're not a little girl, Jeff. You are... I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I did beat you at arm wrestling. You did.

You did. Thanks for sharing that. No, I'm actually... I actually told... Stamper this morning that I attributed to you drinking, that I was sober when we arm wrestled. I think you just had the edge on me. You just had the, you had the edge. I'm telling you, man, none of you went over the top. I'm Chinese, so I have chi power. We'll have a rematch. No, we will. And I think you will destroy me. All right. I'm going to work on. If I hear I'm Chinese one more time to make up for anything

you're doing, you know. Oh yeah, that's right. Because my math skills, I always say I'm You're enjoying this Chinese shit. It's a little too much, Mick. You know what? Dude, he could just go into the kitchen and throw cheese on the floor. I'll be like, why did you do that, Mick? Be like, well, I'm Chinese. That's right.

And they just walk away. And it's like, you know what? You're not from a sacred Ming dynasty clan that does things a very specific claim. I'm from the human being. I'm from the sacred Wang dynasty or Wong dynasty. Whatever. Give me that. Anyways.

Anyway, where were we? Well, I'm glad you survived that encounter. And that you didn't have to fucking. kill somebody. My only, actually my biggest problem with the whole guy. The dude going out of his way to steal a sandwich. Not to disparage police officers guy, I, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm not one of these like, fuck the police, ah! You know,

I respect police, but this guy, his police officer that came in. Yeah. I just want to say, you know, I'm trying to say as respectful as possible, but if you're a police officer of the law, you'd think being in a reasonable amount of shape.

Dude, once again, there is no reason that triple XL police officer uniforms need to exist. I don't know how you can walk in with a huge this dude had an enormous beer gut. I saw a cop the other day that had breathing problems. He could barely walk and he's got his

full gear on and his fucking, why are they making police officers should be, I wouldn't say feared, but you should look at a police officer with respect. He should be like, holy shit. That should be like a profession that you want to get into. Like something that's like, oh shit, when I'm older, I'm going to be a cop, but Jesus Christ, man. That's the same thing with PE teachers.

I've seen, I've had more out of shape phys ed teachers than I've had in-shape phys ed teacher. Full stop. How can you be a morbidly obese police officer? It doesn't make any sense. See, the thing that with this guy was, he was sick, like six-four, he wasn't even

morbidly obese. It was just a dude that looked like he went home a night and drank beer and did nothing else. Like, this guy could clearly, like he had the frame to be like a monster. he wanted to be. He could be this huge intimidating dude. And he may have been at one point. But my man's got

like a handfuls of Doritos and just... Yeah, he just waddling around lady. The way you did that handfuls of Doritos I thought you meant like he had handfuls of tithes. The way you did that, it looked like he was holding his own boobs. Not in his shape. Oh yeah. And even if this dude was like way taller than me, I'm looking at it. I'm like,

I'm not even scared of you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you don't look intimidating at all. Yeah, when you see a cop, like you're When you see a police officer and he's like, his pistol's unbuttoned and he's just waddling around the store and he's trying to get away with free wah-wah sandwiches. Like, as their point was, when your life, your actual life depends on your physical. Your ability to do. The physical abilities, you'd think you'd put a little more stock in that, right?

Yeah. But. Unless you're shielding your gun or enough. Anyway. All right. Well, you could, you could share your little anecdote about your, you have the same story from San Diego. Yeah, go. Oh, yeah.

So, um, and it was always at this one 7-Eleven that was in the middle of little Italy, the middle of little Italy. Okay. The middle of little Italy. Uh, the middle of little Italy. Um, the middle of little Italy. Uh, all right. Anyway.

Not bad. But, yeah, the first time I saw that, it's like, yeah, just bombs walking in and fucking stealing shit. And what they did, you know, they just pick up things and, put on their bags and whatever. But the second time I saw it, it was really weird because I showed up at the 7-11, like 8 o'clock in the morning. And I go there. I was just looking for a pack of smoke because of Gatorade because I was hung over from the night before. Yeah. And I walk up and I hold the door open. And it took me a second to realize what was happening because it doesn't

happen very often in my life. But the cashier is standing outside and she's fistfighting with somebody that just robbed a place. She's standing right in front of the door. Yeah. And I'm sitting there looking at him. And she was like, you motherfucker, give it back. You motherfucker, give it back. And I was like, huh, this is really weird. I don't understand what's going on here.

And then she's manhandling him in a way where she's trying to get inside of his coat. He's not trying to get away? He's trying to deny that he stole anything the whole time. So she's trying to reach into his coat. Yeah. And I guess clearly he fucking did. And then she pulls out this fucking stack of lottery tickets. Oh, shit.

I don't even know. They're pieces of papers. It could be like 100 deep. It was like a fucking inch and a half thing. Brick of fucking tickets. Which this whole situation blows my fucking mind because, A, they keep lottery tickets behind the counter. They're just not out somewhere. Are they the scratch off ones?

Not that it matters. The scratch off ones, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like the ones with all the colorful graphics and shit on it, you do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. And I'm wondering, like, how often this happens. But I want to know how the fuck he even stole them in the first place. Because they're up under.

You almost have to go behind the counter to steal that shit. I thought there was some kind of, like, thing where, like, you... It's almost like an Apple credit card or, like, an Apple card where, like, a gift card where, like, if it's not activated by the cashier or something like that, then it isn't even fucking legit. Like, it's not in the system. Like, you could pull out, like, you could just grab a stack and you could scratch them all off. I know. If you didn't pay for him, it's not in the system, so therefore it can't be registered. Exactly. So right. I thought something like that. If he won, like he couldn't bring it back to 7-Eleven to claim his fucking winnings, right? I mean, that wouldn't make sense. I don't know. I don't think so. I feel like every single time, anytime it's a lottery of any kind, like they track that shit. That's what I thought, that they tracked that shit. I don't know. So she's fucking manhandling him. She pulls out a brick of lottery tickets from this guy's jacket or whatever.

Right, and then the process worked like this. Right after I saw that, I finally understood what was fucking happening. But the dude gets into his car, which was parked right in front of 7-Eleven. And you've got to be a dumb motherfucker to rob a place. And park right in front of it. And I'm sitting there and she's like, get his license plate number. And I'm sitting there staring at his license plate, just memorizing it. And I'm fucking horrible with numbers.

Go ahead. And then she went back inside. she tried to scraw the... It was weird. Like, she was so pissed at this guy that she took a pen out of her pocket and she scratched his license plate into our arm after she told me to get it down.

And I was like, okay, you know, I'm not a fucking part of this. And I didn't even understand what the fuck was happening because, you know, again, it's not commonplace. Right. And then she went aside and she was like, oh, God, I didn't get his fucking license plate down. And she, like, she was scratching so hard

that it was like blood coming out of her arm. Jesus fuck. And I was like, yeah, it's MGK6. And she was like, oh, I was writing so fast. I didn't. I was like, dude, you were fucking scratching so fast that I don't even think ink was coming out. That might be blood right there. She has a tattoo now of that guy's license plate.

Dude, every other word out of her mouth was, like, momentum. Which fuck him and fuck this and fuck that douchebag and fuck this cocksucker. And it was so funny because as she was fighting, there was a line forming at the register for people trying to buy donuts. Imagine, though, like, you can't be... I mean, I'm not going to say everyone in those jobs is miserable, but I can imagine a lot of those people are. And then that shit fucking on top of everything, that guy became

the justified release for all of her fucking pent-up rage working at that place. That guy was just the fucking, like, it was perfect. It was a perfect outlet. Well, that's what I'm talking about. Like, I'm never in San Diego. The perfect storm. I'm rarely in San Diego.

So I can only imagine how often that place is robbed when I'm not there. It's being robbed right now, probably. You see this is a 7-Eleven, by the way? Yeah. Why? Why? Yesterday, I was in a 7-Eleven. You and me, actually, and the other day. You and me?

You're just saying that, like, 7-Elevens are, like, this relic from, like, 1990. They stopped evolving in 1990- They smell the same from my childhood, which is interesting. Yeah. It smells like a mix of, like, the... I don't know if it's the slurpy machine or something, but... They don't have arcade cabinets anymore, but... No, sadly.

The one I had... never did, but they had that little, they had that rotating thing that had comic books in it towards the front, they don't sell the comic books. They just don't feel modern anymore. No, they don't at all, especially because they still smell antiquated. Well, we got fucking antiquated. You got

wah-wow this way. We have our fucking wah-wa that was already better than 7-11, and they're like, eh, it's not good enough. They fucking almost tear the thing to the ground and rebuild it in three weeks. Wow. Yeah, so, I don't know. I guess... I'm in California, man. It's fucking around the behemoth office. There's like three, seven-

I was going to say it's all 7-11 on the West Coast. Yeah. And they're decent, too. I mean, they got Gatorade flavors I've never even heard about before. Well, you know, in, like, Asian stuff, they have 7-Elevens everywhere, too. But, like, they got salsa in their little thing. You could put it on your house. Oh, yeah.

Well, it depends where you're at. That's the thing. 7-Eleven caters to the demographic. So, like, when you're in Japan or if you're in, like, in Malaysia, they had 7-Elevens. They had, like, curry saute sticks and shit that are on, like, the thing. If you're in Taiwan or in China and you go to a 7-11, it's got, like, fish balls on a skewer or some shit like that. Like it's always catering to whatever the community is.

I'll tell you one thing. You can get a pizza at 7-Eleven from $5.99. Yeah, but how good is that pizza? It's actually not bad. Shut up. My brother, I don't believe you. You can get a slice of pizza at 7-Eleven for a dollar. Watch the comments.

They're going to be like, you know what? It's not that bad. No, dude. Truthfully, I will take 7-Eleven pizza. Anyone from Chicago or New York are going to tell you to fuck yourself. They're going to tell you don't know what good pizza tastes is. Well, these guys are fucking assholes. First of all, deep things.

pizza is more like lasagna. It's not even pizza. Argument over. No, no, no, no, no. Listen. New York, people from New York, they bitch about pizza. I could go, if you're from New York and you live here, you're like, ow, this isn't anything like New York pizza. I could drive up to New York, bring it back down, and you will still say, this isn't anything like New York pizza. I'm not even close to a deep dish Chicago acolyte, dude. Fuck that shit. As far as I'm concerned, pizza is New York pizza or Italian pizza. Like, real, it's like dry.

and it's not dry like gross dry but it's like a dry like less saucy it's a crisp yeah yeah you know what i'm gonna even want up you people who argue about whatever the best pizza is are just assholes there you go yeah i agree i agree you're gonna that's the only problem in your life is how how good your pizza is to their pizza and it's not even your pizza it's just like your regions yeah it's interesting though because like in chicago a lot of people look this is no diss to chicago except it is actually, but a lot of those, I don't know, it's because they don't have a whole lot of things to hold on to or whatever. I mean, Chicago is a wonderful, awesome city.

You got friends there. Well, and it's got a great history, especially with like fucking crime wards and shit, dude. The thing is a cesspool of history and amazing dark, deep secrets. It's a great city. But to sit there and be like, oh yeah, I've never met anyone from Chicago,

right? Like, from, from Chicago. Not just living in Chicago, from Chicago, especially old school. that does not sit around complaining about New York pizza. It does not sit there and talk about how their Chicago pizza is the epitome of pizza. And it boggles me because in New York, New York people are just so like, eh, yeah, we're the best. And they don't say shit about it. They're just like, eh, we know it.

Oh, you're from Chicago? And I'm not a New Yorker. But there's clearly a confidence level that I think says, that speaks volumes about what you really think about your pizza. Because you've got to sit there defending something that you have. all day fucking long, guess what? Your shit's garbage. But if you're sitting there and you're just like, whatever, man, you can say whatever you want. We know we're the best. Guess what? You're probably the best.

You're almost talking with a little bit of Chicago accent there a little bit. Yeah, it's garbage, yeah. Oh, I didn't I'm sorry. Sorry. I watched way too many of these, like, artisan videos on shit, and a lot of them are about pizza making. Yeah. There's these dudes in New York, there, you know, this guy

bought like five ovens in a row, and he hated all of them. And he's like, I'm going to go, he, he flew to Italy, had some dude build him an oven in Italy, flew the pieces back, reassembled it? No, that he ripped out his storefront so the thing would fit through the front fucking door, reassembled it, and he was finally, yeah, and he rebuilt

his storefront, and he was finally happy. He's like, finally, I have an oven that will cook my bread, cheese, and sauce pizzas the way I want. Dude, you know, we talk about how crazy that is, but then look at Japan. However that works. Look at sushi. Sushi's what? Rice, seaweed, and fish, right? Or not even seaweed. Not even seaweed. all the time. That's a role, right? So, but even that, like the idea of rice and fish, how fucking complicated is that? But it is. It's infinitely complicated. And the people that love it,

or at least are artisans of it, dude, I mean, the process and the ingredients, as simple as they may seem, are ultimately, like, they are world-shattering factors to those guys. Yeah, and I know a lot of people listening, I've probably seen this, but there's a great documentary on, Netflix. I dream I, Giro Giro dreams of sushi or something But that covers all the bases of like picking out the fish from the fish market Getting the right rice You do the how you store the fish the rice the preparation

Massaging the meat for like an hour Not only that but what he allowed people to serve with his sushi Like one of them didn't have any alcohol One of them didn't have any like any sake or beer He was like that just is not here Yeah, he got really, like, he got really, like, short with the guy. He's like, yeah, we don't do that here. Oh, yeah, plus the guy had to pay for a reservation that included no sushi.

It was just, like, $1,000 just to be able to, like, fucking sit there. And that did not include any of the fucking sit here. It only seems, like, 10 people. Yeah, the whole place. But there was a sister restaurant or something like that that was a little bit more, like, commercial. His son, yeah, his son ran an identical restaurant, a mirror version of his, where everything was in the opposite direction. Right. But he couldn't charge as much because.

Because, like, the allure of his father was, like, what was demanding those prices. I did love, there were a lot of lessons in that movie that I loved. And I don't, I mean, the problem is that I can't necessarily, I can't necessarily attribute anything that I do to it. But the idea of, like, mastering one thing rather than, like, trying to do a whole bunch of stuff. He was just like, if you focus on one single thing, you can become a master of that. And, like, how his focus was all on that. And clearly none of us are fucking that. But, you know, I did, I did appreciate that lesson.

I thought that, the dedication part of it, I definitely agree. Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah. Well, that's just interest in other things. We're all jack of trade. What's it? Jack of all trades, but a master of none. Yeah. I mean, I fucking love watching videos like that.

It doesn't even matter. Like, these dudes who, oh, make sushi or carved wood. Make a knife. Yeah, exactly. And make the knife holder out of leather. It's like, I love stuff like that. I just watch his all day. Yeah.

There was, um, uh, he used to be on the, the Seattle Mariners, Ichiro. I think he's, he's moved on. But, uh, yeah, he moved on a while ago, actually. Japan's golden boy. Uh, him and there's been a couple of Japanese baseball players, but what, what I love back when he was part of, um, the Mariners, he did an interview at some point. And they talked about, because he used to put his baseball bats in a humidifier and, uh, he would, like, wrap them in, like, the special cloth or something like that.

Sounds like cheating. Yeah. And they were like, why do you do all of this? I mean, like, what's the point? And then he had an analogy where he was talking about a chef and like his, his wares, like his knives and his pants. And there's like, a chef cannot cook a delicious meal if his knives are not sharpened and his pants are not clean.

The idea of perfection, like the idea of from the very ground up, if you're going to execute something that you need to have, you need to be prepared. You need to be efficient and you need to be, you know what I mean? Like I just love. There's a lot of truth there. Well, no, but I love the idea because even if it's not quote unquote true, like somebody can just fucking grab any old bat and if they're a fucking great baseball player to smack the shit out of the ball at the end.

But it was the idea that he had like this. It gives him confidence in his practice. Yeah, a mentality, exactly. And it gives you that focus, that meditation, that process, you know what I mean, to, like, execute on something. I think we all kind of come up with our own, like, thing, like the things that throw us off or the things that put us into the mood or into gear.

But yeah, with the Japanese, it was always so, like, elegant the way they fucking do shit that it was like, I don't know. I always appreciate it. I think they're a little full of themselves. Really? No, no, no. I don't know. Hey, listen, any imperialistic society because they're so homogenous. You're like that with your art. You're like a samurai with your fucking

vector art. Yeah, there you go. Zooming in 5,000 percent. Nobody's, nobody's ever going to fucking see this. But it matters to you. Nobody could see my mistakes. Nobody could I get it. All right, all right. So, Jeff, Jeff, I heard, tell us something happened at the office recently.

Something about tacos? Yeah, my fellow sleepy cabin members ate my tacos. So you got jacked by your, by your sleepy cabin guys. Yeah. Now, why would they eat your tacos? That doesn't seem like a very respectful thing to do. Well, Mick, you know, when you get food at a restaurant, get takeout and you put a little takeout box.

See, I never have that because I have. always eat my fucking shit like a pig. I never have leftovers. I couldn't eat my whole lunch, make. We went to a Mexican restaurant. We got a large portion. I got four tacos. Okay. I couldn't. Yeah, that's pretty much what comes with the meal. Four tacos. They can't order

more or less. Okay. What restaurant did you go to? It was the one across from the hospital. The, uh, I forget the name of it. Oh, yeah. It's, Signor Salsa. Dude, it's got, it's got the worst fucking name. And the worst logo.

Good food, though. It's good food. Is it? I've never been there. Yeah. All right. Dude, the interior is decked out in Mexican everything more than Mad Mex is. So white people won't it.

So you went to Mr. Tacos and then you got some tacos. Signor salsa. In my infinite kindness, I drove Spaz Kid and Shadman to lunch. Oh my God. You drove them to this restaurant? Yes. See, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yo, is that place still open?

You want to get some tacos? Yes. Yeah, I would do. Yo, when you first said... No, seriously, let's go. I'd be down there. No, I'm serious, too. But when you first said that your tacos were hijacked, my assumption was...

Yeah. There just happened to be some random tacos in the Newgrounds fridge, and people were like, where did these come from? Oh, no, no. I guess we'll eat these. Oh, no. I had no idea that not only did they know where they came from, but that they were with you when you got them.

So there was no debate. Who's they were? where they came from. Okay. Motherfuckers. All right. Yeah, no. Everybody at home is in the edge of their seat right now,

this story. But when you bring food home from the restaurant in your little take-home box, you know, the assumption is you're going to eat them, right? Yes, yes. I put them in the Newgrounds refrigerator. I'm like, they'll be safe here. This is an office.

This is the office refrigerator. There's respect. My food. Here. Safe Shadman Who is staying at the office Because you guys had no power He's so responsible

And Corey who is working with us on the game Because I believed he respected me Yes Enough to not do that To not betray me like this What kind of tacos was it? Oh man they were delicious Oh no

They were these They were these Carnie Asada tacos Dude they came with their own Each one Each taco came with its own little lime slice You see it's almost as though In my mind didn't not finish them because you

couldn't. You wanted to savor them later. Oh my God. You enjoyed them so much you wanted to take your time with them. What kind of fucking monster opens the fridge and sees food that's not there and eats it? The second I left that office to go take a nap because I was so tired from working so so hard. So hard. I came back that night. And driving

them around. Yes. And all you wanted and all you wanted was your humble tacos that you paid for. I came back. It was four in the morning. All I wanted with those two tacos. You've been thinking about it, that's what pretty much woke you up to get back to the office. I was hungry. They have cheese in them? I don't,

I think a little bit, a little bit of cheese. Okay. But, you know, it's four in the morning. Yeah. That's how cream them? I don't... Here's the other thing. Where else could you get those? It's not like you could just be like, oh, they're gone, no problem. I'll just go down to the story and get some more. No, no. These were

gourmet. They were gorgeous. You were hungering for them. So you go back to the office at four in the morning. So I opened the refrigerator door And they're not there Now hold on hold on Did you did you

Did you like double check? Were you like wait a minute I know they got a need? Not only that I opened the door I looked for five minutes I shut the door I went back to my desk I sat down I said you know what No way Maybe they didn't look everywhere no way

I'm like they have to be there They have to be there Yo, you want to call this episode, fuck Shaddenkore? Yes. I went back to the refrigerator. Dude, the refrigerator is not that much. You know, the thing is almost empty to begin with. There's like three cans of Coke and like some Chinese food box that's been there for three months.

You're just hoping they're going to materialize somewhere. You're like looking behind the cans of Coke. Yeah, I'm like, maybe I just didn't look hard enough. I went and opened the door again and they still weren't there. I even, oh my God. And I hear this rustling. behind me and Corey's passed out on the couch.

With taco sauce on his mouth. He knew, he knew what I was looking for. He's like, oh, Jeff, what are you looking for your tacos? Oh. I'm like, yes. What do you know, Corey? Yeah. What do you know about this mystery? Yeah, Shadman

Uh-huh, passing the blames. Shadmin ate them. Oh! And he fell back to sleep. So Shad ate them? Not exactly. Oh, wait a minute. There's more? Go on. He passed the buck.

The plot thing. He passed the buck to Shad hard. So wait a minute. He's like that conniving friend who's like, hey, Jeff, are you looking for the tacos? And you're like, why, yes. And he's like, oh, yeah, Shad ate those. You know, Shadman's not a liar. No, he's not.

Trust his word. Yeah, so then what happens? Well, later, later when Shadman woke up up up. He storm into his office, kick the door down. I said, you know, I need to, I need you to elaborate on this. What exactly happened here? He's like, ah, my friend, Jeff. Wait, stop.

This whole story could fall apart immediately. Were they hard tacos or soft tacos? Soft. Beautiful. Good. Beautiful. Yeah, fridge soft tacos? Those are totally fine.

No. Corned potatoes or flour tortillas? Wait, what? Corn tortillas or flour tortillas? They were flour. Yes. There you go. Perfect.

But they were normal size. No, no, no, no. No. Look, hard in a refrigerator, garbage. Corn in refrigerator, garbage. Flower soft in a refrigerator. Totally fine. This was a $15

Mexican taco meal, my friends. Four tacos and a bowl of refried beans. But anyway... Were the beans gone too? I ate them at the restaurant. Okay.

But said Shadman, where the hell do my fucking tacos go, friend? Former friend. Ah, you know, I am very sorry. You know, I... There were subtitles in your... Yeah, I asked Corey.

I asked Corey, what about, you know, and what about these tacos? Well, Jeff, eat them. And Corey said, Jeff never eats his takeout except for pizza. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Who made up these rules that I only eat my pizza leftovers and no other leftovers? That's bullshit.

I always eat my leftover. If I bring it home from the restaurant, I'm going to eat it. Why put it in the fridge otherwise? And I had one, and he had one. Oh, ha. Shared it. I love how Corey kind of half woke up. It's like, yeah, shatting.

It's like you motherfuckers. So then what happened? Do you approach Corey? That's when he smothered Corey with a pillow. I said, Corey, what the fuck? What the fuck, Corey? He's like, oh, I'm Jeff, I'm sorry. Dude, I was actually bitching him out over Twitter.

I'm sending all these messages to Corey over Twitter. I didn't fucking eat my tacos. That's Johnny Utah on Twitter. He was very apologetic. I forgave him, but, you know, I forgive those guys, but still, I felt I've never. felt. So betrayed.

I'll tell you what. When I couldn't find those tacos at four in the morning, I think I felt angrier for about two seconds that I haven't in probably years. Years. There are two seconds where I was

like out of my mind with rage. I'm like, where are these fucking tacos? And then I calmed down and I'm like, all right, I'm calm. It's only, it's not something to be mad about. I swear, man. Take two guys. to drive two guys to lunch and they just fucking

stabbed me in the back like that. But whatever. We'll get you some new tacos. You know what? Speaking of, you know what, Jeff? Jeff, I got the solution. Yeah.

Look, we love Corey. We love Shad. Oh, of course. They're great guys. I forgive them, yes. We forgive them. And on top of that, right now, we're going to go get some more tacos.

Let's go get those tacos back. Without them. Let's go get those tacos. Okay. Do you mean like cutting their guts open and pulling shit out or you mean going to the ruck? God, you're such a fucking gangster. No. We're going to go to the, we're going to go to Senor. When you say get them back, it's very clear what you mean. We're going to go back to Mr. Tacos and we're going to get some of those.

Signor salsa! Senior salsa, fucking hair, burrito, whatever the fuck. It's just a bright orange building in the middle of all these like classical, nothing on, nothing on the entire street is anything but like white or like hell. It's so tacky. It's like a white guy clearly owns the place and it's like what should we call it ah, signor salsa, I guess. So neither of you have been in there yet. I haven't. Nope. It's super decked out. Dude, fuck this podcast. Let's go fucking get some tacos.

Even the tables are painted, are individually painted murals on every single table. They put an effort. They put an effort. That's care. That's a stamper thing to do. Yeah, should just say fuck this and just go eat? Yeah, let's do it. Fuck this. All right, hey guys, thanks for joining us. Don't thank them. Whatever. Who cares?

I love you. That was Senior Treachery Agua Edition. Join us next time on Sleepycast. Does anyone know the best and safest way to remove your penis from the mouth of an empty soda can?

I'm asking for a friend of mine. It's stuck and bleeding really bad. Never mind. Forget I said anything. Goodbye. Thank you.