SleepyCabin - SleepyCast Lost Episode - [Suicide Cooking Fun Time]

Episode Date: July 11, 2015

A couple dudes sit around and talk about...what else? Food and suicide! This episode starring: Psychicpebbles (www.youtube.com/Psychicpebbles) JohnnyUtah (http://johnnyutah.newgrounds.com) Spazkid (www.youtube.com/Spazkidin3d) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Yo, we're on Patreon if you wanna throw us a buck! http://www.patreon.com/SleepyCabin A SUPER SPECIAL THANKS to some of our generous supporters: Jacob Miller, Shane Danells, Ryan Pagonis, Chris Cunniffe, Creeps McPasta ,Brian Adam, Nicholas Rose, Jace Baker, Denis DeLong, John Erlinger, Trevor Wood, Liam Staley, Hector I. Murillo, k0xfilter, skooks ,Sonny Canchola, Nile DeFreitas, Susparty, John Toomey, Timothy Smith, Paul Raymond, Lucas, Joshua Tully, Michael Westermeyer, Riley Paul, ubernoobinator, Matt Gronhovd, Joseph McCarty, William Sawikin, Travis Wager, Schegerino, Rodolfo Davis Millet, Windmill Punches, Corbin, Corbin Record, Dean Borris, Andrew Dore, Clyde Cash, Clock Watcher, Jonathan Tillmon, Elecktricd00m, Bill Zhuang +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SleepyCabin Official Site! http://www.sleepycabin.com SleepyCabin on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/SleepyCabin Stay tuned on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SleepyCabin ...or Twitter! https://twitter.com/sleepycabin +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ We're on iTunes, too! Search for SleepyCabin!

This is a sleepy cast lost episode. Suicide cooking fun time. Featuring Psychic Pebbles, Johnny Utah, and Spaz Kid. My name is Captain Dickhead. Later in the show, I share my recipe for roasted human breasts and potatoes in pee-pee sauce. Stay tuned. Let's go on to the real meat potatoes, Jeff. Something's been peeping you.

The real-made potato? Something's been really peeped Jeff. Jeff calls me every day. He just says, I'm peeved. When we talk about, like, meat and potatoes, like the term meat and potatoes. Uh-huh. I never really figured potatoes, like, go, go with, like, a meat product. It's like...

Yeah, you do, like, a big potato and a steak. Everybody, like... A big potato and a steak, or... No, it's not... Or mashed potatoes in turkey or... It's usually, like... Yeah, meat potatoes. Or cut up potatoes in a chicken.

Meat potatoes. But they're, like, they're like... They go together, yes, but they're not things like, you know... Potato is like the biggest... Pee in a pot. Or like butter and bread. Like, it's like, you know... I mean, you can argue it's like the biggest side dish.

How we go to Outback Steakhouse. It's always like we like a potato. Matched potato or baked potato. It's kind of like norm though to get like a potato product with your main dish. So it's like, you know, like baked potato or French fries. Yeah. Well, it's sort of a bit. Potato is the biggest side dish for me.

It's besides like vegetables. But those are fucking... Who gets at me? Maybe. Do you like potato? Do you get this guy talking dish and dish and out? Vegetables. Dish on vegetables.

Vegetables could be open. I love vegetables. I love vegetables. Me too. I have frozen vegetables in the freezing. I do. I cook them. Dude, frozen vegetables?

I make them. What are you going to get fucking school at lunches early today? Damn, dude. Coins. Coins. I grilled, I grilled asparagus earlier today. I have this. I have spruces.

I have this. Fuck you, Jeff. Jeff. Is that doubt? Is it my spragus making abilities? I will see. We should have asparagus. What do you think about?

What do you think about? Luzu has to die. Can you smell? Do you smell... Do you smell... Do you smell it? Yeah, apparently it's not good for you. It makes your piss rancid.

It does. It makes your sperm taste rancid. I don't know about that, but I've been told. It does too, yeah. It makes you like... To smell your pee through your dick. Like, actually, like, it's that strong. It's like, when you piss, it has that after.

I think it's... I think it's... I think it's the bubbling. I'm not sure what chemical process... I have to look this up on Wikipedia while your piss smells, but it does. Definitely use terror.

It definitely noticeably too. There's a couple things, right? People say, like, but there's also things to make it smell better. Like, people say pineapple. Makes you sperm. Dude, it's strong. It smells like fucking, it's as strong as, like, paint thinner. Do you think guys are, do you, are there really considerate guys at there that are thinking, well, I better make my, better make my taste better.

Well, if you know, you're going to be, maybe. I can see that. But that also requires, like, fucking planning. You feel like, like, okay, tonight. You're not going to be eating that much of it? She's just like, well, it's like a full meal. better taste. Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, you gotta stock up. I don't know, yeah, but like I said,

it also have to require that you would know you're going to get a blowjob later. Are you talking about it? You have to plant it. The idea that, um, if I eat asparagus, this is going to ruin the smell of my... No, no, well, that or like, guys, look, not even not even not eating something bad, but like, purposely eating something good to make it enhance

the taste. So, like, eat pineapple. I'd like to see a study on that. Yeah, I think, I think it's a load of bullshit. But hey, I can be totally wrong, because I'm not a scientist. All right. We'll see. apparently like eating what is it like muscles or something

increases like the is it no it's like oysters makes you it has like the kind of stuff that puts off the things that make you you know a little horny when you're pharmos whatever yeah pheromones like they eating that kind of stuff

if you eat the oyster you get horny so hey guys if you if you want to treat your lady right eat a fucking eat a nasty old slimy oysters and you can get her in a sack Corey devours plates of muscles Muscles.

I was wondering why, Pauli. I always wanted to fuck you. There's a problem with muscles, though, that I have. Like, you can get good muscles, then you can get the kind of muscles, or it's like, you can kind of feel bad that you're eating it, because it's still very, I don't mind eating a muscle if it's like, you know, a peepot, like it's tiny. You almost feel like you're eating full, like,

when I open something up and it's like, I'm fucking like. Like a whole live animal. Yeah, like I'm prying over it. Yeah, you know, like ripping over its jaws. Yeah, like, I feel like it's like fucking shattering ligaments inside of its body. And then I see it's, like, stuff. there and it's still beating heart. I'm just like I don't want to eat this one. This is the most

traumatizing you can do ever to an owl. Yeah, you have to fucking break its job over. It's like, in its home. You're just like ripping its roof off and eating it. Yeah. I have a question about eating in general. I've been questioning this lately. There's a certain like I don't know. You almost call it like a manliness to

eating certain things a certain way. Okay, I'm curious from doing. You take, uh, well, all right, let's say, let's say, let's say using examples like steak chicken wings chicken well not oh here I'm waiting hold on time

let's say let's take chicken wings and fish and things what do you think about eating what do you think of people like like Corey and Mick who polish it doesn't matter what's attached to the steak like

any gristle any kind of fat any kind of tendons ligaments like they just eat it all they don't care I think it comes up I'm a bit picky when it comes I have too. I don't think that's wrong. I mean, look, fat and stuff, like, if I get, like, a piece of steak fat or something or, you know, whatever.

I'm not the kind of guy who's getting down to the bone. You know, I'll eat the good parts. I might even eat a little bit over the good parts. I mean, I might eat something that's a little gross. I think it's how you were raised. Like, for me, I was raised more in a sense where when I got a steak or when I got the chicken wings, I usually got, like, four or six of them. And that's all I would get. So I would make do with what I had, and I kind of, through the process of that, I would end up eating all of.

it so I could get more at the same time though then the point where you know like I said yeah maybe I'll eat like a little bit of the gross stuff just like feel like okay I'm at least whatever there's still meat on every part of that like there's still meat on the yeah but it's the ratio goes off at that point it's like 80% fucking cartilage like 20% meat like it's still meat like it's still me like it's like when you eat it the only thing I won't do though is that when you get like those crab legs those like things that still have the the arms and stuff connected to it I won't eat the like open fucking pore that like you know the leg is connected to? Oh, the big yellow part? Yeah, because

it looks like it looks like they fucking dipped it in the toilet and then threw it in the fucking buffet section. What do you think of tendons? When you go to the Fah place, the Vietnamese place, and they have a fub bowl with and they pack it with tendon. It's like their most quote unquote, their quote, most popular

dish. What's tendon? It's like the shit between it's like you're in between your bones basically. Do we eat that? Is that what I get in my spicy? Well, it It looks like gelatinous, but kind of chewy. It's almost like... Strins.

It's almost like natural bodily gummy berries in a way. Ew, dude. But it's gross. I think it's gross. I'm not a fan of it. I think it's a cultural thing. I'm not a... But they throw in huge chunks of it into the fun.

I'm not a fan of a lot of fat. Like, for instance, when you eat a steak, there's kind of like a point where there's just too much fat, like if half the fucking steak looks like, it's like if... On a scale, it's just like, here's 30% meat and the other half is fat, that's disgusting. I can only put, if it's like a, if you cook steak,

a medium rare steak, and like the top corners are a little juicy, like, um, fat. A little bit of fat, I'll eat a little bit of fat. Like, if it's a little, like, if it's like a tiny, tiny peat on the big things. Well, it's different, too, because, like, with chicken, it's like, the first thing I eat is, like, the fattening fucking, like, skin on the outside and stuff. Here, here's a controversial thing. What do you mean?

The skin on the outside. Like, on a chicken, a rotissory chicken, the skin is always, like, has the best, like, Hey, let's get racist. All right, let's get racist. Why do black people, like their stakes well done? Is this a joke? That's what I want to know. Is this a real question?

No, I'm serious. That's a real. Why do they go to Outback Steakhouse and they're like, I want a well-done steak? Do they? And they ruin it. Yeah. I've never paid attention to them. Well, Jeff, they want somebody is black and dark and charred.

Well, there's no more pink inside. Yeah, is that what it is? It's like charred? They're like, they want to consume themselves. Chard, dark and dark-and-sard, dark-and-sard, dark-and-side. They're dark-crusted over beady hearts, desire more of it. They need more. dark, crusty.

I think people who like, well done and, as they call it, blue steaks, or it's, that's nasty. I think the best thing is like medium. I ate rare. If it's too pink, I feel sick, if it's too... I like medium, medium rare. Yeah, I'm content. Medium rare is kind of like that point.

I've had a medium steak that's been really fucking black, and I've had medium sticks that have been really red. Yeah, they're not very good. They're not very good at the consistency. No, it's very off. That's why I pick medium, because it's getting nice. There's a little bit of room for error. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true.

You can never really go wrong with the medium-marish steak because you have the, it's still a little juicy and it still cuts really well. I don't think they know. I will say, go ahead. No, yeah, yeah. I will say this is one very weird thing that occurs at Outback is generally I was raised that, you know, pork. You always kind of want pork to be pretty well cooked. But at Outback, they will ask you how you want your pork. cut done on steak. They're like, would you like

it rare? Would you like it well done? And I don't know. It seems like there's at other restaurants, they don't even ask you. They just kind of bring it out. There's a protocol. There's like a certain level where port, there's like pretty much a good... A universal level to cook pork yet. Yes. But at Outback, they ask you. It seems to throw you up because I've been

with you. Your eyes, your eyes widely. You see me terrified. You see it terrified. They could do it headlights. Yeah, yeah. I cut into this porks a one time and it was like raw and something. Yeah, yeah. I heard it was fucking like pink. It's gross. You need like a threshold of exactly, like, if you know what a pork is like, it should just be like natural. Like, because it's like you know when your pork is cooked when it's white.

Yes. It's juicy but white. Exactly. We go to that other restaurant, that brick house we go to. Yeah. When you ask for pork chops, they cook it perfectly. They're like, this is how it should always be cooked. Oh, yeah.

It's juicy, but it's white inside. It's perfect. It's really good. We used, at our school, we used to have a thing every Wednesday called, like, chicken patty day. It was because you always have, like, special days, like, pizza day and all that. And you would get a chicken patty and I would say nine times out of ten, it would be pink in the center.

So you would just eat around it and hope you didn't get fucking... Oh, you like a little nugget at the end of it? Just throw it away? It's like just like a pink center and the outside is white. So you would eat around it and hope you didn't fucking eat the middle. Jesus Christ. Controversial statement. Are people that don't eat meat are the huge pussies?

Yeah. Oh absolutely. Yeah. If you were stuck out and fucking shatter in the dust. The thing is, yeah, they always look about they're all nourished and fucking like... You push them over. They look leathery. They're like all yellow. They're like, I'm healthy. You can see their bones

and they're tentative and shit. It looks like they stumble out of fucking Auschwitz and they're saying they're healthier. They're criticizing me. But child, they're on a big fucking stick and throw it football, dude. I don't get it. I saw a little mini document.

I don't know. It was like a little news report on a woman who was raising her kid. She's an ultra-vegan. The kid was he looked like he was like a white kid right out of Africa. He got emaciated.

So it was like stomach was sunk down and his head was impleted? The kid was like 12, but he had the height of like a five. year old. I mean, for Christ's sake, the extremes are those people who, like, give their babies, like, no nourishment. They're like, now he's a vegan. We talked about that. The babies die. Yeah, yeah. I feel like, he's like, we're animals. We need. It's like, we need breast milk. Give the shove a rock carrot down his throat.

That's something I don't understand. They feed their babies, like carrots and soy off. Look, like vegetarians are a little more intolerable to vegans or whatever, but, you know, do whatever you want. But fucking vegans. What, what are the arguments? Like, the biggest one that I hear, if you're say I don't like the taste of meat, that's fine. But the people who are, like, making a statement about it, I don't think that's the right way to go about it. People who say, like, I don't eat meat because of what goes the process of killing and eating meat.

I'm not a fan of that either. I don't like to see if you see videos of, like, so what fucking taking your brick and smashing a calendar head. It's not nice, but... I don't want to see someone like fucking, like, just openly kill something in front of me and they hand it to me, be like, do you want this? I actually don't. But if you prepared that later, and then I was, like, didn't

remember this. I kind of got my brain clear to this. I would still eat it. My point is like, nobody likes the way animals. Do I wish they were treated better? Yeah, I mean, obviously. You said something like the person like vegans. They don't do anything with heads and they don't eat the products from animals too, like milk and stuff. Yeah.

And it's like, well, you don't drink like breast milk and stuff. You don't drink like this. It's like, well, you know, milks go through like a process of being fertilized or is that what it? It's like, it's like able to drink, pasteurized. It's not that it's more drinkable. They pretty much make sure it's safer to drink. You can drink it raw, but if you don't know where it's coming from, it might. I just don't understand that.

If anything, if you're eating something from a, if you're eating milk from a cow, like, I don't understand how that is like the equivalence of meat. I think it falls in line with their same argument with eating meat, which is basically I don't like the way the animals are treated. I'm assuming that's what they're... They like making up rules. A lot of people like eating food. Yeah, no, it's like a religion kind of thing.

It's like every different kind of Christians. You just make up their own shit. I like eating like eating like... Vegan seems like... Yeah, yeah. Like, why? Well, you know, because they don't make... They don't have cute.

They don't have cute. They don't have no lips or eyebrows. They can't look like they're in pain. They can chop their head off and their expression doesn't change. No, they're just disgusting, floppy. Vegan sounds like the ultimate challenge. Like, waking up in the morning and being like, okay, so, I'm going to be a vegan today.

and just realizing just what I cannot have if I go to a supermarket, which I would ultimately quit right then and there if someone told me I could be in, because I was raised on me. I can understand people who don't want to eat me, but I just can't fathom the concept not using stuff from animals.

If you're arguing, I don't like the... You could be whatever the fuck you want. We don't care, but I just don't like the bullshit arguments that are, you know, there's a lot of horrible stuff going on the world, and yeah, I wish animals were treated better, but at the same time of a human being and we have a big fucking brazenety power and require meat.

Listen, we're just going to be cruel to each other. It's just the way it is. I'm going to go up to a vegan. I have one of those big old meaty rare sticks and just fucking rip it and hit them with fucking blood. You ever see that video of the chick walking into the restaurant and she's like, My baby was murdered! And she goes to this huge long with his speech and that was just like eating steaks and she's like, her name is Snow.

Every time you eat an egg or drink milk or eat a steak, you remember her name. Snow. She leaves. We were like, people keep eating. I don't know how people like that are heckled.

Listen, progress in this world is made on murder. It's made on Tumblr reblogs. Murdering and destroying

your opponents. Look, the strong survived, Jeff. It's all it is. You know, we were smarter than we fucking,

we took it and we started cutting up pieces. All, all our ancestors were killed their enemies better than they killed

them. So, we exist because we're smarter and better at it. Yeah. And now we could do it on a huge scale. All our ancestors are basically Conan the Barbarian, and they won, and their opponents lost.

Even our ancestors... They ate the meat of the components. So we're just winners. We're just winners. If you weren't looking... We are. We won with the top of the food chain. Yeah, that's right.

With a cream of the crop, where the... Made of it. Jeff, what's your favorite meal to cook? I like... Well, you know, I think I like... My favorite meal to cook, I like stir frying. I like stir frying vegetables and various meats and stuff like that. I wish I had a grill.

I need a grill. I would have a George Foreman soon. I have a George Foreman. It's really only, you have to be careful that. It's really only good for cooking. Obviously, but my point is it's also hard to find, like, a place for a grill. Yeah. Because you were the apartment, too.

Where the fuck you can have a grill? I can't grill. I could put one out. I have room for one outside if I wanted, but... Okay. My favorite thing to cook is Macaroni and corn with butter and seasoning. That's pretty good.

Macaroni and corn and butter with seasoning. Do you put them macaroni on the corn? Whoa, Jack, don't get ahead of yourself here. Don't get ahead of yourself. I don't want to burn it. I would like to see, you know what? I would like to put Corey in a kitchen, give them a bunch of ingredients and just see what happens.

I would put it all in a bowl and mix it up. You'd put it in the microwave. Steak like a raw chicken, eggs. I would try it more That's what I would do You know what? All right It's real scenario

So it's like you're a chef Okay And then I'm someone cooking So you're you're a five-time champion chef So you're like Jeff Gordon Whatever his name is Jeff Gordon Is that flash cord you idiot

Jeff Gordon's the NASCAR You Jeff Gordon is the five-time champion Food critic Right right okay So I'm And I go I make you, you go in there and you're like, so you say something like, I want you to make a, a, me the best dish, you have two hours.

Yeah. And I want it. Iron Chef. Yeah, yeah. So it's Iron Chef. And I have the fucking kitchen. As far as yeah, I can see. I have so many fringes with so many meats and so many.

You have everything. And the whole world do you have everything. Wait, Zach. Basically, let's, let's treat this as like Iron Chef. Let's say Corey, give all the ingredients in the world. Yeah. But you have a secret ingredient that you have to use in every dish. Okay.

What do you think the best secret ingredient would be for Corey? I got it. No, I got it. I'll tell you. Wait. Let's say, all right, your secret ingredient is hedgehog. No, I was going to say spit. Spit. That's the, Corey. No, Corey. Okay. We need, you know, this is serious. This is serious business, Corey.

I am serious. Hedgehog? Yeah, okay. We need, we need. It has to be. There has to be a Hedgehog with power. There has to be. No, Corey. That's just stupid, Corey. Would you have to have a hedgehog head floating in every dish? Would you make? My main name? Mm-hmm.

Uh, is Old Bay with A1 sauce. You can make Hedgehog ice cream. They made weird The rule is you have to put the hedgehog head at least in once Everything My hedgehog pancakes My special ingredient Blue blueberry

Hedgehog pancakes I don't want to have With rings of syrup I don't want to have syrup Yeah Rigs of syrup I'm tired of the sonic autism And stuff

The strawberries could be the little shoes A little red shoes Anything Listen we're all tired of everything We're all tired of people We're fucking memes I do the Iron Chef thing But I'll tell you my special ingredient

What's your special ingredient? You'll see No, you have to tell... No, you have to... You get the ingredient, and then you have to make, like, five dishes... Love. This? You just...

Why do you have to be so difficult? Just... I want you to be a chef, and I want to tell you. Like, I'm gonna do it. No, it has to be a tangible ingredient! Passion fruit! All right, fine. Passion fruit, yes.

Give me five dishes of the passion fruit. Go. All right, so I go back there, and the first thing I do was put... One hour. Put everything into a bowl. What, with everything? You mean all the... Everything?

Yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, take the rappers out, so you're watching me, checking me out, see what I'm doing. You know, most things are so it's literally just a psycho with wrapped food, still in the road with a spoon. Plastics getting caught in a spoon, but I don't care. I'm mixing it, I get the egg meater out

and fucking shit's going everywhere. I kiss it, throw it into the fucking microwave. What ingredient? What other ingredients? What are you putting? What got spices? All of it. What? What spices? Paprika, germane.

You've never used paprika in your life, Corey. What are you talking about? You don't even own paprika. What are you talking about? So anyways, a dish comes out. You have these five dishes. They look like swamp monsters. If I could go and bloop like fucking inflating and popping.

Would you make your food look like little faces and stuff? Would you be autistic with it? Would you be? Yeah. Like I would doll one up like a snowman and like, you know, put carrot sticks and stuff. And I give it to you. I give it to you to the chef. And I'm like, tell me what you think.

What's it? I have a question. I have a serious question about Sonic Hedgehog. I don't mean to bring it up again. What is the consensus on, is his name Dr. Eggman or Dr. Robotnik? It's Dr. Eggman now. What is the, what is the correct name? All the old men call him.

He's known as Eggman in Japan. Oh, so it's a cultural, okay. Yeah. I thought it was just a big man. And now it just stuck because it's easier to say. Now it's just Eggman. Yeah, Robotic is stupid. No more Robotnik.

Yeah. I like Dr. Robbins. So now he's an egg man now. The mystery is solved. He's an egg. Eggman is just such a worst name I guess it was like

Of course Because you know how like Rockman Like Mega Man is Rockman And just like the direct translations of it Like Pokemon Like uh Pocket Monsters Pikachu or something

It's just like Electric Mouse What is his goal again Is it just to capture Innocent animals So they can drop It's to be the best Yes

Oh wait He captures Ash ketchup or No Eggman Eggman It's a turn It's like roboticizing

It's like they take animals and they also take the anthropomorphic persons of them and turn them into robots so that he can be a... Does he want to turn it to an animal? Yeah, he wants to turn him into a robot. I mean, yeah, a robot. So it would be more fucking. It would be better. If instead of when you beat the stage

and you beat the robots and all the animals run away and they're free, they stumbled out of the machines and they were all kind of... Fucking had wires and they were like... They're just like... They're like... They're like... They're all...

So you save the fucking penguin and it had like... It had just like... It's all these metal... ...bottomized. Oh, you go bottomized that one? I think that would be hard to do in like 16-bit graphics to really show. I mean, if you wanted to see something of that variety,

there's this really fun, really scary thing called sonic.exe. It has a very morbid scene. Corey, you're scared me. Is that adult Sonic? It's going to be chills. No, it's... Has anybody done, like, adult Sonic yet? What do you mean?

Like an edgy dark? Like he's smoking weird? I actually remember... I mean, you know, like how people will, like, but draw Link is like an old man of the... You know, like, is a, like, a Conan-type character. or like, I don't know. Oh, do you mean like a dark...

Not a cute version. Maybe like in a darker, edgy. Do you mean like when he got his hand cut off in the official Wucos rewatch? The what? Listen. Chloe can't leave that in. What?

For the future. Are you talking about it? Okay. So let's say... I regret. I regret. I made a series where he gets his hand cut off, but he unlocks his secret power.

Sonic? No, Zelda. Oh. You mean Link? Link. Oh, we're talking on Link now. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He gets his hand cut off like Luke Skywalker Yeah Does he get a robot hand Or does he get like a magic hand No he has his hand cut off What is his place with What replaces it? Is it just like Ash from the evil dead

He gets his the master's sword It's just like You just stick into his fucking Open artery That would really not be very That would not be very Practical Because you know

It really depends on your wrist movement To swing a sword If it's just like sticking out of your arm It's just like You'd have to really You would just um If you got fucking like Put a knife out of

tennis elbow you can really do. Maybe there's like a master chainsaw. You could have your mind. So anyways, I give you your five food dishes. Yeah. So you're a chef. So you have to tell me what you think of it. So go ahead. You haven't told me what a single one is, though. You just said you put stuff in you

You named paprika. Have you seen Iron Chef? No. Here's the premise. They give you a secret. Like, the guy will go upstairs, he'll pull like the curtain off the table and it's like, it's like eel or a fruit or some kind of meat

and then you have to make five dishes. Let's say, let's say you got apples. You can make like apple pancakes, apple ice cream. Apple pie. You know,

you could make some kind of meat dish with apple. Okay, okay. So you have like, I see it. Corey, you're so deep. The ingredient has to be very. You have a pie with passion fruit.

You have a casserole with passion fruit. Passion fruit. Right. You have a milkshake looking thing with passion fruit and you're just making regular stuff

and you have just a plate of just stuff with passion fruit inside of it then I give it to you I'm going to be all three I'm going to be all three Iron Chef judges judging you on all the criteria okay let's let's see as for as for

originality one out of five yeah boy that's pretty high presentation one out of five taste two out of five because it tastes a lot like passion fruit because there's no other ingredients

in these dishes. Corey just gave us five passion fruit and called them different things. Did you taste the wrapper though? Yeah. Oh yeah, and there were candy. I got backstaged chook to them. I found candy wrappers in your passion fruit ice cream for some I found McDonald's receipts all crumpled

I found pocket lids and fucking floating pennies. McDonald's just playing in a passion fruit soup or something. I dropped those swish sweets into the thing back That's what the came here. You're feeling sassy.

I dropped it into that. I'm sorry. Did you, you just, you tried everything? Did you try the milkshake? Yeah. It tasted like water and passion fruit.

Did you know? Yeah, I heard what you said. It's a milkshake at all. I think you just called it a milkshake. Yeah. Actually, you know what? Corey took a glass of milk and shook it.

He was like, this is a milkshake. But I did put passion fruit in it. You did, you did do that. You didn't blend it. It's just tons of passion fruit floating in milk. All right, so do I got to, go to the next round?

That's it. You lost. The Iron Chef beat you, sorry, the end. Corey, what would you name your restaurant? My restaurant? Gourmet de form. What is that?

Gourmet de form? Gourmet de form. Deform. Deform. Deform. Deform. DeFlearn. Is that French?

Gourmet de form. What is it? What is it? What is it stand for? What is it stand for? What is it? What is it stand for? I don't know

You're making a brunch Hopefully don't close you You're hot on it There's really one guy Walks back That's nonsense It means shoelace dude It's fucking nonsense

It's like Gourney's smart guy Get out It's a good It's a good bullshit It doesn't really It doesn't really So hold on

So you come to Gournade the farm You bring your wife You bring your kids You bring your six dogs You bring your 14 Um Adopted children You bring your

What's what's the special dessert At Deflorum Okay so I bring you to my restaurant I sit you down. I'm like... You sit me down. You're personally.

Our special today is filet mignon with a new special sauce all the way from Bombay. Is it, is it A1, sir? No, it's all the way from Bombay.

What's, what is it, what's the sauce? I'm not telling you. This is a bozo. I'm not even a special sauce. What is it, Bozo?

I don't want a few of them well. You know, I want to feed them well. They want to know what it is. Oh, it's, it's beetle stings. Don't fuck it. Don't get smart with you, son. It's dark beetle stomachs.

Dark beetle stomachs. mashed into delicious taste We're leaving, we're leaving, come Honey, let's go This is this place This made the fucking lunatic And by the way Your French is phony

You have it I know French, you liar You fraud You haven't even tried Our special ice cream We have a customer here Jesus Christ Christ

You come in You want a big meat You're craving meat Honey Yeah yeah I felt this place It's really good It's Easter

So nothing's open On the national Christmas Christmas Christmas No no no Not in this stuff Look, I'll Jeff's wife, all right?

You move to somewhere in Ohio. They're all celebrating this, and you really want a fucking steak. So you come to gourmet de flung. Yeah. And I'm like, and then you come in and you're having. I mean, this place looks really good. I have to tell you I want. I'll get a menu or anything.

Can I have a ribai, a medium ribby? Oh, we don't have ribies. What do you have? We have everything else but a ribeye. Can I get a filet mignon, please? We don't have those, though. Can I get a... We're out of flash.

We get a New York's chip steak. We, uh... Do you want to... What do you... Do you want a New Jersey? Stank? Can I just have the special, please? Do you want the special?

Yeah, the special. Whatever that is. All right, here you go. What is this? It looks... It looks... It looks... It looks...

It's moving. It's milk with passion fruit. Can you see me on iron chef? Why are you putting in a cup? Why is it on a dinner plate? It's on a plastic plate. It comes rolling in. It's fucking, like,

What are these little... It's all disposable things floating? What are these other things floating in the milk, Corey? Looks like a receipt. Yeah. Looks like... I stopped by McDonald's. Looks like pocket lids.

Let me pull this receipt out. Looks like a donkey donuts cup. Look at that. Oh, so there's French fries in here, too, apparently. No, no, there's so French fries. That was from the table. Oh, no, he's still going to eat those, dude. At your restaurant, do you, every time somebody orders French fries,

do you go to McDonald's a good French fries and come back? Yeah, yeah. I just put him in the microwave to heat him up. He eats him, too, while he's going to eat the customers. I'm like, here you go This is all business plan You like charges 20% more than the dollars It comes back

You're like, can I get the Can I get the The zebra burger? And I'm like yeah, one second I run next door And I fucking kick the door in And I take all the meat while they're working You know how they put them in like the little

Safe vault where it kind of heats up still? I fucking rip it out and take out all the burgers And run back to my restaurant And yeah I put them on a plate And give it to people I haven't gotten kinds It's too much you're just going to McDonald's and just buy the food yourself and give it to them. They can't tell the difference.

Not when I put a little passion fruit inside it. You love passion fruit. Have you even eaten passion fruit in your life? No. Of course not. I don't even know what it is. I thought it was made up. It's real, Corey.

It's a real thing. Anyway, here's a question. Here's a thing. What do you guys think of a... Have you ever seen online? I talked about this a stamp around a long time ago, but there's online. You can actually order freeze-dried... Rare cuts him.

Like from, you know, you can order like tiger, a tiger, tiger meat, snake meat. Really? Lion. Yeah, you can actually order the shit online, freeze-dried, and they'll send it to you. Really? From different countries? From, I don't know where to get it. I've heard of the idea of ordering snakes and dragon.

Tiger can't be illegal, can it? It was a few years ago that I looked at it. I don't know if they're, I questioned it myself. I'm like, how is this real? Who's in the mood for a fucking tiger? Like, you're sitting there? It's like, man. Yeah, I probably eat a tough.

Yeah, but who's in the mood for it? Who gets drunk enough and they're just like, man, I really want to eat tiger. Maybe you love it though. Maybe it's like really delicious. People, there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of bored hipsters in the city that they always go to these weird food tasting things.

They'll just eat whatever. They'll eat chocolate-covered tarantula. I've had shark. I think the biggest bug you eat is like a, like a mosquito. Shark is like a big, big giant chicken fish. What's the biggest bug you would eat covered in chocolate? Um.

Pretty mansion. You'd eat like a nat or a fly, right? I'd eat like a grub. I'd probably eat a grub. I'd probably eat a grub worm or something. I don't want anything with legs or... I wouldn't be a little bit crunchy. I wouldn't need anything squishy.

That gross me up more than something crunchy. I don't want to eat a spider that's... I swear that, you know. Would you mean grasshopper? They look like their leg. Their legs would just get stuck in your teeth. Like a baby grasshopper, a tailor grasshopper. Maybe if it's soft.

What if it was a little soft toad? No, they're crunchy. Would you eat a chocolate? I have a really hard time thinking about eating. I could... It'll taste like a caramel. It'll taste like a caramel. Well, would you eat a chocolate toad?

No. A little baby toad? That's gross. It refers to like the size of your pinky. Like the pinky. Oh, I would bind in the chocolate and still be like, what's this like slimy center? So you basically eat the chocolate and peel the tone out.

It is interesting how conditioned we are to be disgusted by insects when they're really like the cheapest and most nutritious thing on the planet. It's like it's sad that, Our society has become so, like, anti... You go to other countries. Like, I've seen shows like bizarre foods. You go to other countries. There's huge bowls of...

Everybody's just eating insects, like popcorn. Yeah, yeah. They'll stir fry them, they'll cook them. Yeah. They'll just put them in a popcorn bag, these grubs, and kids are running around eating them. Dude, the idea... They're perfectly nutritious. The idea of eating a beat...

Sorry, go ahead. I was going to say, I think it's because our society is so, like, it has such abundance. But at the same time, we're also eating, like, garbage for the most part. Like at least an insect's like, you know Real it has some kind of nutritional value Maybe like some maybe like a baby eating McDonald's or something Maybe these guys who had bugs on it They'd find like a bag of Doritos disgusting

That's what I'm saying Maybe like they'd eat a McDonald's hamburger Or drink a Coke and they're like oh what the fuck is this Yeah You know like a Lion King Whenever they were like picking up boards and shit And there was like gloves underneath them and stuff Those always look good to me

When I was younger They make it look like a fat little like piece of food It looks gummy Like it looks like that's what I mean also the idea maybe like I would eat like a fucking like a beetle like you know like a thing of beetles and stuff like just that they were like cooked a certain way

I can eat it cooked if you like crunchy beetle I could eat that crunchy beetle never bother you in this movie The Lion King how they always as they're sitting in the circle of life all the animals are like frolicing around and they're fucking you're like

you're like but these sebers are getting they're all like bowing to the lions but man they're getting fucking they're freaking road's ripped out when the camera like turns away from... I think they even mention it. I think in some point they talk about killing fucking zebras and stuff. Yeah, you know, they don't show it, but these zebras are like bowing majestically to the lions.

It's like, man, you fuckers could be running away. Slavery, dude. Rafiki would be pulling the legs off the fucking like... What, the... You mean? The elks? Wait, which one's Rufi? The baboon you mean?

Yeah, Rufi... He would take him by their legs and fucking, like, crack their neck. Yeah, he would take him by their legs and fucking, like, crack their neck. Yeah, though, he put him... Yeah, though, he probably was screaming and just, like, shaking, like, smashing the dogs against clips. Smashing their heads against the rocks. Screaming. You've seen a video of the fucking babboe, like, in a text, like, a gazelle, and it just rips its legs in half.

Dude, I hate that video. The gazelle's, like, screaming, and the babbo's just, like, sitting, like, sitting here's, like, taking, like, bites out. He just, like, yeah. He's just, like, holding it, and he's just, like... Yeah, yeah, it's just, like, seeing their fucking slouched over, like, this Chris Boris expression of his face. It's interesting when, you know, our most common, uh, what do you call it? Ancestor? Ancest, is a cute?

Is it an sibling, whatever. An animal in the animal kingdom, sibling in the animal kingdom is you're so fucking violent. You know, I think about this. I think we're chimpanzees and stuff scare us and babboot scurice is because like, they're like us.

Like, we're, we're bigger assholes than they are if you think about it. We still, like, World Wars and just, like, stat, we have, like, serial killers. Imagine, like, if you were chimpanzee, like, Ted Bundy, must be, If there was like a Ted Bundy chimpanzee, you'd be fucking terrified. Here's the thing.

This is crazy monkey that was going on to go and kill you for fun. We looked down on other animals, but other animals are very, they're almost compassionate in the way they kill other. A lot of animals will run up to their prey, grab their throat, choke them out efficiently. Ascash they can. Kill them. It's over with. Monkeys will punch you, beat you, start ripping pieces off you. All the while, they're screaming, biting your fingers off, ripping your face off.

They go through your face, your hands of your clock. They don't choke you. They don't put their hands around your neck and choke you. They're ripping you to pieces while screaming bloody murder the whole time. It's terrifying. It's actually... And that's us. That's what we would do.

If we, if everyone just like... I mean, that guy who was like bath salts fucking ate that guy's face off. That's what I was about to say. That's what I was about to say. He just ate someone's face. If there was like the equivalence of a sandstorm with bath salts that fucking wiped over, that's an idea for a harm. Listen, no. We're God's creatures, guys.

We're, we're civilized. You're created by Jesus. If you inhaled a bunch of bath salts, you can turn your fucking rain off, we would be like just crazed monkeys who had to eat faces all the time. Whatever I think of it was really, I think of how funny it is,

how fucking disgusting his living condition would have been. You would have shouted like once every like four months. He would have shit off of his ass. Before he went out and became the Messiah, he was out back shitting in a bowl and fucking wiping his ass with his hand. And then rucking on the dirt, picking rubs out of the ground and eating him

like fucking gnats and bugs. it's a chick. Yeah, it'd be like, it'd be like, there's not you know if you see African kids like with their big yellow fucking bloated eyes with flies just landing on them

and they don't care and that's what Jesus was on. I just see like Jesus leg in bed and say the rat come into his fucking like dirty hut and he smashes it with a rock and fucking beat up and skinny arms

because he's all nourished and bloated looking. What cause their bloated stomachs again? It's because it's because they're too much food that's getting fat. It's because they're so bad. That's it.

It's because their stomach weighs too much And like it fucking crushes their bones. I think it's something to do with the body kind of reacting in a natural way because they don't have enough food. Why does it even... There are some people who have legitimately seen pictures of like, why the fuck are we saying that food? They're fat as fuck. But it's...

Yeah, of course. They're so malnourish that they're actually getting fat. Have you... I've seen documentaries on this, people that... It's fucking sad as fuck. But, you know, there's one area in some country, they actually make dirt cookies. Yeah, I didn't sell them. And they act, people actually sell, they actually buy dirt from other people.

They're convinced. Think of my mouth, they're convinced. These fucking dirt salesmen are like, these con men are actually convincing these other poor people that the dirt is actually nutritious. These, these like, no nourish people are like, yeah, a bug died in this dirt. It's like, really? It's like special dirt. You know, that's fucked up. Because you see like families, it's like, like, guys, look what I brought home.

You even fucking like drops your fucking rip Walmart bag. Oh, they're excited. Dirt. In the water, they put the paddies, the dirt patties out in the sun. Oh, it's so sad. It's so sad. The kids are, like, chomping down on these dirt patties. They're like, mm, this is, like, zero nutrition.

Just, like, eating, like, shards of glass and fucking, like. It's terrible. Chemicals. Terrible. You know, I think that's fucked up, and I think morally to them, they're just thinking they're, like, you know. Maybe it's, like, that thing where it's, like, when you think, when it's really hot out and you think of something cold, that you trick your brain into thinking that it's a little colder. than it is. Maybe like they look at the meat pies and they think it's like me. Well they're eating fucking dirt

as a luxury. I mean you kind of have to improvise a little bit. That's pretty much like the thing. Like it's like you come to someone who's like oh, I had the worst day to day. A car wouldn't start and I didn't have work today. I just wanted to go get a latte and it's like really?

Well there's fucking people in Africa selling dirt and people are eating it. I watched too many of these. Dude there was this one episode. The guy went over to these cocoa bean farmers. These dudes have never seen chocolate in their whole fucking lives. And they're like, here, you want to see what

America makes out of your cocoa beans? Yeah. And they're staring at this chocolate bar, like, it's like this alien object. They're trying to figure where the fucking beads are. Yeah, yeah, and they all pass it around and I have the chocolate and they're like, man, this is delicious. And they'll get back to work and get out. Make more of this for being idiots.

Sorry, you're never having this again in your entire life. Sorry. You're going to make trillions of chocolate bars, but yeah, nothing. Yeah. So they shove them back. back into the fucking work corridors to make them, like, dig up more, like, beans. I've seen the documentary of a guy who makes cocaine out in the middle of nowhere. That's a, like, a smart business practice making...

Making drugs? You can make any kind of meth you want in the middle of fucking nowhere. Yeah, it's funny, too. The guy, like, has no education, but, you know, he somehow was a chemist because apparently it's complicated. He just did it backwards? Did he kind of backwards-engineered from... He somehow knew all the chemicals you needed.

It's very... It's apparently complicated, but you're using... all these toxic chemicals to somehow boils down. Are you sure like a science book didn't wash up shore on well in the... Like a castaway man? He knew what he knew what he was doing. You know, the dude's

running around his dirty bare feet but he knew how to make... No, no. My first science book showed up from fucking elementary schools and he's studying the fuck out of it. I mean, it's probably one of those things again, if that's all he's doing every day, every night for like 30 years, it would have to

think through experience too, like being able to make meth and stuff, like, oh, this sort of chemical makes me trip out. Maybe more of it would be good. You don't know. It's interesting how, you know, you take, like, the pure plant, the pure cocoa leaf, but you have to grind it up,

use chemicals like acetone and a few other things, and they're terribly toxic chemicals and mix it into a bath and then drain it and dry it. Yeah. And you eventually come out with these, like, chunk, white chunks. That is really? Which then you have to re-grond up, you grind up again and do like a powder.

Yeah, I think I said this before, but my, uh, friends' parents had a meth lab upstairs. And it was really, it was like, the smell was really bad. And that's actually what got the cops coming because it was like they let the door open, a window open, so the fucking smell could go outside. And apparently, uh, meth has a very distinct smell. Like, it just smells like, just like somebody poured fucking chemicals into a pile. Can't there be a good drug out there that you can make that maybe all these drugs have terrible, like, PR campaigns where every time you see people making them, they're wearing these toxic gas masks? So can't there be something like a, isn't there any good drug out there that's a little more natural?

There is. There is. It's called Gonja. It's called Mary J. As in the Southern. It's all right. It goes by many names. Weed.

Right. Of course, weed. I'm talking about something stronger than weed, but yeah. What about Molly? Molly's the same thing. You keep bringing up Molly. You keep saying that. I don't know what it is, though.

Think of the concept of cocaine where you have to snort it. Yeah. That's it. But what is it? You said it was also literally like ecstasy. But without the getting really a warning part. What is ecstasy?

It's kind of like a drug that, like, it's just an all-around feel-good drug. We're touching yourself and hands-it. I know that much, but what is it made out? What is the specifics? I have no idea. It's really weird. Molly is just. I tell you one thing, though, it's like...

What's the actual name for? Is that the official name? Molly. Is it like calling marijuana? NBA, I think? Okay. Is that the actual term? I don't know.

I'm asking you. Listen, I'm a good guy. Zach, what's the strongest drug you ever taken? I did, I did LSD. I did LSD. You did LSD? Yeah, I think... Molly for me.

I think that's a drug. Cogaine. No, no cocaine. It's harmless. What's your most favorite? What's your favorite drug? Alcohol. probably. You know what? I think my

favorite drug was oxy cotton, but that was I was on that. Dude, I was on, I got an arm surgery, and I took, they prescribed two different things. And I got oxycodone, then I got hydrocodone. I think, yeah, I got it. I got it. I was like, I came to my kidney stones. But I think it's the feeling is better than alcohol because it feels like you're floating. You feel warm all the time.

You feel warm and, just like, you know what? I'm totally, like, you can sit there and watch TV for like 10 hours. That's Molly. Yeah. Dude, when you take Molly, it's like It's the weird sensation. It's like the concept of getting up. And you know when people do drugs, you like see how they react in movies? Yeah. It's a really weird feeling.

It's like, it's like getting every. It's like a long workout how you're just so like tired, but the sensation is so high. So when you do it, you're just like, oh man. It's like you're just like fucking like an amoeba. You can't stop moving. Like it's all over the place. Everything, the colors are brighter. It's really weird.

And then when it goes away, it's just like you're after. After being on Oxycontin, I can easily see why 50-year-old mugs, like 50-year-old, like, you know, soccer mom's getting addicted to it. I always wanted it. I can see why rich guys are meeting, sketchy people in parking lots later. Yeah, no, seriously. It's good bottles of it. It's not good. Is cough syrup?

Could you get high off cough syrup? I'm sure the high you get from. You're going to have to drink cough syrup to get high. You might as well just buy something that's a drug. I guess the idea of it is really weird. There is an alcohol content in it, but. I thought it was more like a hallucinetic kind of high. To my knowledge, that's what I always assumed.

I remember in sixth grade, we would drink, what was it? We didn't drink, but we'd take chloroseptic and we just like keep. Chloricepting? Yeah. What the fuck is chloroseptic? It's like, it's a, it's a liquid that comes in a spray bottle. I was going to say, I was going to just bring that up.

I did that too when I was a kid. You did that. You would dare each other to take as many sprays as we could? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't even that bad. It was just. I've done that. I know what you're talking about.

I did a lot actually. I feel like I'm done with beer though. Beer? I think I'm done with beer too. You know, beer is good like once in a blue moon, but... Oh, I see what you did, you fucker. No, that was actually just

because it was blue moon. That's ironic, but liquor is just better. Well, look, it's like, it's a lot of liquid, it's a lot of fatty liquid. It's like, it's too much liquid to take in. It's like drinking, like, fucking, like, five cans of Coca-Cola or

or whatever to get, to get kind of drug. Versus you could just have like a cup of something strong and go, oh, okay. When we were out of a restaurant at the one night, I think that later wanted to make fun of you guys are ordering so many blue moons. Us? Yeah, I think because all you guys were ordering

blue moons, he's like, another blue moon, huh? And he like rolled his eyes or something. Wow, what is Dilda? He's a fucking waiter. What's his problem? I don't know. Oh, I'm sorry. Like, he was below, like, it was

like, oh, because we're not buying it? He's fucking clown. He's a fucking waiter, all right? You know what? They have, like, fucking special $7 I respect winners. I'm just saying fuck him for looking down to me for ordering stuff at a restaurant, though, right?

It's like, sorry, I didn't want to try Dragon Puff for fucking, like, clown tears. I wasn't interested in their fucking exotic beers. Yeah, you're gay, fucking super fruity drink. Maybe I wanted to blue moon. Because, like, that place has, it has, like, really exotic beers and shit, but it's like, you know, when someone's like, oh, do you want to try a beer

and you see, like, 18 different beers? Which one's good? And they look at you, like, you're a fucking alien. The taste thing, too, it's like, if I, I don't people who can just casually drink for the taste they're like yeah I'm just having you beer it's like I feel sick if I did that I used to do that because like you I used to do it too you like

you drink beer you drink one beer a day it's the equivalence of drinking like it's like it's just it's too much liquid I have to piss too much I'm not that drunk it's really not good it's better just to drink liquor yeah you get drunk I get high on hate Dean Jeff what what stirs up your hate the most everything? What gets you the highest what recently

really what earthed you What peeved you, Jeff? What made your face turn red? Different every day. What made your face turned red and to put you in your pillow in your bedroom? What got you peeved? What is peeved? What's the term peeved?

Like, annoyed. Anoid. Peeved. What set the ball rolling? Where did the word come from? No. I don't know. That's another analogy, dude.

Like, literally say exactly what Zach said. Oh, he's asking you what peeved you. What set the ball? Sorry. What really peed you off, Jeff? What made you scorn? even started. What made your mask to run down your face?

What made you what made you stop all the upstairs and slamed your tour? I don't know. Actually, not too much recently. You know what? You know what? Peaves me? What's that? Sleepy Cabin fans? That's what I think. Oh, here we go, dude. No, I can understand that. They're all

actually quite reasonable. The only thing that really pisses me off. Oh, here's go, Jeff. Look what you've done. The only thing that was a joke. It was a joke. It was a joke. It was a joke. The only thing that

pisses me off though is when somebody is being malicious and then they're intentless to get your attention. I've said that before but I don't like that. I hate that. Like they're only being assholes because they want you to notice them and it's like well now I notice you and I don't like. That's a common problem for people in general. Let's talk about our fans.

Do you know what I'm talking about them? They've been here for a while they've been here from the start they've I'm actually you know it's it's also no no I'm to be serious like it is interesting what a wide range of uh... colorful people we have. You know, you have teenagers who are always like saying they're listening while they should be doing their

fucking homework. And then you have like dudes in their 50s you listen. They're like working. There was a wide range. Males, females. There was one guy who said he's his 60-something year grandfather listened to yeah. No, it's like really. It's interesting. It's interesting. Is there anything? Skip like the first 10 episodes about shit and stuff and tell them to get to the meat and potatoes?

I don't know. Go circle, dude. Go circle. Fuck you, Corey. You speak, let me forget. Now you're saying it, you motherfucker. Okay, well, what I was going to say was I like the variety we have because when it's like, you know, um, you, Nick and Stamper are all older and you guys, you know. Yeah, much old men, bunch of young. Well, comparatively, compared to us. Yeah.

We're all like in our, we're younger. We're like our 25s and like 23s and stuff. We're younger and you guys are like in older, like 10 years to real older. Damn, Corey. I'm not saying you. I said you guys, I'm not saying Jeff is a 48 year old handsome fella.

48. 49 this month. Right. 49. No, Jeff, it's not that. But, um... 5-0 next month. Big 5-0, boys and girls.

No, but it's like, it's a good contrast because, like, people, like, we, we've all, it's basically like us out of college, and then you guys been out of college for a while and talk about how miserable life is now. Can I say some of you guys? Yeah. A little criticism.

Go ahead. Maybe not so much Zach. Maybe, like, you. You and Chris. Tell me. You guys, you guys aren't these spright little

17 year olds anymore, all right? What is that? Oh, dude, here we go. You got, there are doctors that are your age.

You guys, you guys are well on your way to your 30s. Yeah, but we have, you got to stop acting like your 16. You're like,

listen, I've just got out of high school. You guys are in your mid-20s. I'm 20- all right? Yeah. But I, you're an adult.

I still act like, you know, it's always been a decade. As a young, as a young, kid in this podcast I'm not talking about us being like little kids

I'm just saying there are men performing brain surgery that are your age The stark contrast between a 30 year old and a 23 year old is actually quite different

sometimes We're probably mentally closer than That's what I say I'll say this is the interesting thing is I think even though we're all different different states

different backgrounds but I think we're all pretty mentally on the same page for the most part I don't even know what to I feel out of place You do? Yeah.

No, I mean, well, no, not, not. Oh, with people in your age group. Yeah, because people in my age are all, you know, they're getting to marry, they're having their kids. They're like, oh, you know, I'm done, I'm done living. I'm just going to have a family now. For you're getting married when you're, like, 30 is a general rule. Mentally, I'm a decade behind or something. Look, it's like.

And I am, too. I rest my case. Yeah, I'm in my 20s and you're in my teens. Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty, pretty, all right. Zach's all right. Zach, you know what, I'm fine... Listen, Zach, you have the mind of an 80-year-old.

I don't care what you say. I'm fine. I'm playing Battlefront 2 on the Xbox original, eating my fucking sugar plums, okay? Yeah. I'm fine with that. Sugar plums? Yeah.

You're playing Xbox to the... No, no, my reason brain cereal, sorry. I'll eat my adult cereal while playing my kid games. Totally fine. No, but I mean, I think having kids is a bad idea. I think getting married is a bad idea. They always tell I don't get married if I was like 50 years old. Unless you're really...

Because it's like a 20-something-year-old. deal, dude. Like, especially if you, if you look at people who are, like, 20, in their 20s and they still with their parents, if you have a kid with you're 30, you're not going to be free until you're like 60-something. Like, in your 50s. Marriage is utterly frightening to me because the way people are, I can't imagine people not, everybody gets sick of each other at some point.

Everybody gets mad at each other. But with marriage, you're ultra locked in now. It's like, now you're... I don't get the actual point of it. The first thing everyone says, which pisses me up is, oh, it's taxes, tax reasons. My friend is... Fuck that, dude. You lose half your stuff in the...

I'll pay more and be happier than... Oh, I've got to save a little money. Let's be miserable. Let's walk in permanently so we get weight and get depressed. My friend's actually getting married, and he's 23 years old. Idiots. Corey, how... Yeah, that's dumb.

Bet money, how long do you think it's going to last? Well, here's the thing, though. Like, I feel like it's one of those things where it's also, like... like where your life is going. Most people get married when they feel like they have nothing else going from. Yeah, I guess we're just fucking weird. There's people listening now who are married. You know, it wears for some people.

You're a fucking moron. Do it in front of your spouse. But even the people that I know that aren't necessarily unhappy and miserable, they just seem, I don't know. It almost seems like they're just kind of, what do they do now? I feel like they wake up every morning and they're like, eh. I just don't get the point. Why can't you be someone's girlfriend or boyfriend or boyfriend?

or whatever for 20 years. You can be someone's partnered without getting married. I don't, what's the difference? Our society has decided marriage needs to be this. Look if you like, if you like someone. It's a contract. It's not this thing from God. That's what I'm saying.

It's a goddamn contract made up by the government. When I see marriage, I see marriage is like obviously like, oh, it's a huge commitment. But I see it as more than that. I see it as like that next step. Okay, now that I'm married, I have like a whole other plethora of things to worry about now. Like, not only. Well, and then you have to worry about, okay, now I'm doing kids. It's just a whole...

Yeah, it's like a whole other thing to worry about. I'm fucking worried about, like, taxes now. I'm not about ready to jump into the marriage boat and worry about that shit. I actually don't. I never see convincing you only. They convinced me why people couldn't, if you like somebody that much, just moving together. You know what's that. It's called love.

Or whatever. Partners with somebody, whatever you want to call it. You just can't be... If you like somebody, you want to live with them, you can do that. It's easy. They just live inside your house. It's not that hard. You don't have to do the whole marriage thing.

Well, part of the driving force is, I don't know how this happened, but women, women in particular, they've been brainwashed, conditioned since a young age that... They have to get married. There's a certain thing they have to do. They have to have the perfect wedding. They need their ring. There's two things... Which the whole ring, the whole diamond ring thing is in itself a whole, a whole fucked-up conspiracy that started like 50 years ago, but that's a whole other topic. There's two things you're taught when you're...

growing up before you even become an adult. You need to get married and you need to get your dick clipped. I forget what the time is, but Supercised? I'm sorry, Corey, you don't really have a choice. That happens when you're, that happens before you have a debt's generally having to create. You're not 70s when that happens. You're playing is fucking achyote, dude. They tell you that. They say

you need to get married and your dick's going to get clipped. Well, did you get your dick clipped? Was it optional? Were you like 20 or something? I didn't even get a saying it. Just how. Some people get it. done later, but generally that's a very bad idea. Probably. I think that that is yet, that is another thing that

is fucked up where you don't even necessarily need to have that happen ever. But at some point, at some point religious people or somebody decided. They don't want to get it dirty or infected. Like they say, like the person's not going to know how to clean it so he's going to like piss and common side of it and eventually it's going to start molding.

And granted, some people might have. Some people are probably very unsanatory with that. But I'm sure those guys who are circumcised who are bigger fucking slabs than people who are in circumcise. Yeah, like, there's, I've seen tons of people who are just disgusting, and you can see their dick playing as day. They're not hitting.

Let's talk about basic crotch hygienics for a second. Just, just for a second. Okay. He just really peaves me, Jeff. Oh, what do you? You really irks me. You just have to clean your... No, no, no, no. I'm very clearly down there. I am fine. I'm talking about guys who aren't. Guys who don't wash their testicles.

Guys who don't... The shade... Are you talking about guys who take a shower don't do the V. They don't do the V. They don't do the asshole and the Gucci thing. Okay. They don't do the V?

You're supposed to go between and you're assholes. I don't do that. I go like all around. I go on adventure. But I mean, you scrub there. You scrub your asshole and the two areas of the boat.

You should scrub your... What have you actually had... Are you aware of anybody... Well, I guess we've had this conversation. I feel, there's people all there. Can I say, by the way... If you're 300 pounds, I guarantee you that's probably the hardest thing in your life, so you're probably not going to do that.

Can I also say, seriously. not sure the white knight here in any way but I think balls are the like the grossest things whenever I see a girl put balls in her mouth like a porter or something I cringe I encourage anybody out there To not touch my balls

Yeah don't go to my balls Balls balls are like They're all Maybe you're looking at old saggy 50 year old balls You're fucking You know what Balls accumulate sweat

They accumulate sweat And the little strange hairs Balls can look quaint They don't always have Like fucking sags to them Just like what do you don't Don't do that. You don't have to do that.

This episode is going to be called, like, food and balls. Food of balls. There you go. But you agree with me a little bit? Like, you never saw a girl put balls around. They just went, don't, don't do that. You don't need to do that. You never really see someone put balls in the mouth.

It's generally like one ball. And it doesn't feel that good, to me at least. Most people, they don't do it. They kind of just, like, suck on it. Yeah, I don't think that feels like it's like, knock that off. They're not going to stick. They're not going to stick.

They're not going to, it doesn't do anything for me. It doesn't do anything for me. And it's just, I feel, maybe it's because I feel so conflicting about... I think sticking a dick up somebody's ass is way grosser than some of the balls. I agree with that, too. I'm not a fan of that myself. But whatever, you know, balls don't, oh, vinegary and salty and sweaty. Well, thanks for that.

And I clean my balls. My point is, also, shave a little, trim. It's like a beard stubble, you know? You got to trim your pubicator. There's like a limit. Or else you're a maniac. This is health hour. This is health hour.

The clean. Every time you take shower, kids. I mean, obviously, do what you're present. But for Christ's sake be sanitary Sweat goes down there So if you have hair everywhere and you don't wash If you're fat you can't be clean If you're fat kill yourself

By a gun for this is not a drug I'm endlessly fascinated by people who are morbidly obese And how they clean themselves That's you know, I was about to say it They don't, they just don't do What would push you to kill yourself realistically Like cancer? They're like you have cancer You're going to die Jeff

If I lost all my senses Like if I was blind and I couldn't like hear If I was if I you know If I turned Yeah I would probably just put a gun to my head probably I'd have no problem doing that I think If the Jonas brothers broke up I would probably kill myself

They did break up didn't they or no That was no that was another one The wonder Well you and I both know about that I can't That's sad Because unfortunately because I know We were talking about this but the Twitter thing

That's what I'm saying it infections Teens That's the worst Teams that is just like For me the concept of killing yourself over a fucking band breaking up, it's like, really? Like, I wonder if there ever was

any suicides related to any bands breaking up. Well, I'll say that, I want to say this. Yeah, that's very common, actually. The Beatles probably had a few people kill themselves over it. I think the worst part about kids, teens who kill themselves, that isn't getting morbid again. Yeah, here we go.

Teens who kill themselves. The worst part is, you know, teens are inherently a little cringy. They're still trying to figure... Emotionally unstable. Yeah, they're trying to figure. figure themselves out. They don't really understand the world. And there's a lot of cringe things they do. And when a lot of them kill themselves

when they, you know, I keep using, this is just one example I keep thinking about this kid. He put on a Blink 182 song in his room. Like a cringy-in-a-it? What? Is it the name of the song? I don't know. He put on a blinkin-82 song. What did you pick that one, Corey? It's Chris and it was really cringy. And then he hung himself in his room. And I can just imagine how the EMT's coming in and rolling their eyes at this whole situation. I'm like, oh, my God, not a weird of these.

Do you know a kid on my block where I used to live hung himself with a shoelage? So if you're going to kill yourself. Be cool about it. Yeah, don't do it in a way where everybody's going to be embarrassed about it. No, no. Get a cool, good a cool football jacket. Yeah, get a steak, throw some football around. Yeah.

At least do it in a way where people are like, all right. Some respect to dignity. Yeah, you hang yourself with a smile on your face with some cool sunglasses on. You have sick cigarettes in your mouth. No one would expect that. Don't do it in that cringy internet way, because everybody's going to laugh at you.

Everybody's going to be like, follow-all-all-all- It's not. You're going to be mock you right now. Once in your head, it's not translate well. It's not going to get into research. And find, like, you know, like, what's cool now, like little weezy. Have a little weisy plan when you hang yourself.

I think what we need is a, I think what we need is a nice list of timeless ways to kill yourself. Ways of killing yourself are almost like tattoos. They go out of fashion in a few years. People think back. They're like, oh man, the way he killed himself. So lame, dude. It's so boring.

That's hilarious. It's like, yeah, they're loud. They like joke about it. That's horrible. Those people are horrible. You could put out a book, like, lace and fancy, you know, just like, write a book. Write a book called the appropriate ways to kill yourself. Yeah. And then, as suggested by the sleepy kind of room. You don't want, you don't want the way you kill yourself to go out of style for,

these 50 years. I mean... You want everyone else who's alive who remembers you to be dead. But you also want to be considered of others when you do it. Yeah. No, you don't be a psycho. You don't want to take anybody out with you. No. You don't want to make a mess. I mean, you know, these people... I'll tell you what. Or maybe you do to make it long-lasting.

If you walk... Damn, Corey. Holy-fuck! If you go into a building, blaring, Blainequin 82 holding a dynamite, that's... What are the most inconsiderate... Let's talk about this. What are the most inconsiderate ways to kill yourself? I think hitting a hit, being hit by a train, that makes a big mess. And it makes it more late for the thing.

You don't want to do that. I think one of the worst is if you kill yourself in your bathtub and your body is left to sit in that water. Oh my God. They don't find you for three weeks. That is got to be the worst thing we clean up for you. That shit can tell us like. Who like crawled into the water tank and fucking died and ruined everybody's water. What an inconsiderate?

That's more. Yeah. You know, you don't want to jump off buildings. No, look. Buy a nice suits. get a press, lay in your bed, put a tarp on the bed, you know, be considerate. Hey, call the police be like, hey, I'm going to kill myself like five minutes. I think the best way.

This is just stupid. It's what suicidal is probably having a horrible day to listen to this gentleman. No, they're using this advice. It's very mafia-like, but, you know, just get a boat, get a cement block, just go out in the middle of a lake and tie yourself to it and just jump off. And everything will be taken care. The fish will have something to eat. No cleanup. Now, maybe somebody will have to get to retrieve the boat, but, you know, that's a small.

It may hurt. It may hurt. It's called beforehand. Yeah. This boat might be wandering. Having water shoved through your esophagus into your lungs and expanding your whole body expanding all your organs. Set the engine to low. Maybe let it just go putter back to shore. Yeah, yeah.

Very considered. Ebby's like, what a nice guy. Listen. The person killed himself, but he was very considered. The person who borrowed the boat from. The boat's like, coming up to the shore. It's like, oh, he left me a tip. Oh.

Yeah. And put a tip in the boat. Everybody will think very kind of, like, he didn't want to bother anybody. You know, he went out the best way possible. Could you imagine that killing yourself? Unlike Frank, you jumped in from a train, and it took eight, we're still finding fingers

on the other side of the parking lot. Could you imagine yourself sitting at the table and someone's like all the way to back? But like, they put a plastic bag over their head and chopped themselves and the brain matter was in the bag. That's something. And then, like, they go to the table

and there's a $100 tip and it was like, hey, you were a great waitress. You know, keep it up. Yeah. This is getting dark. Makes you feel warm and fussy inside. This is the, this is very, very, this is the darkest, but I think, I think we're giving people a nice service, a public service announcement.

Yeah. Yeah, if you kill yourself, just be conservative. Consider it. Yeah, don't, don't ruin anybody else's day. No, don't go, don't go fly to buildings. What are you doing, dude? Knock it off, all right? Just go jump it.

Don't kill it. But don't kill yourself. But don't actually. But if you all going to, do it how Jeff said. Do it as a practical joke. He's on his hands in the real world. He's a murderer. This has been a humorous

sleepy cabin segment. Don't kill yourself. Well, you write the suicide note, name Jeff by name. As the cause for suicide. Just draw all the sleepy cabin skull on the... Draw Jeff's Twitter icon. Put down Jeff's Twitter icon. Yeah, and then look on the news.

It's like a mass suicide with your chest. Yeah, right. Thanks, Johnny Utah NG at Twitter or whatever. Please don't do that. That was... Suicide Cooking Fun Time. Join us. next time on Sleepycast. Goodbye. Oh yeah, my recipe. Okay, so basically you take a couple

human tities and put them in a big pan with potatoes, then pee all over them, then roast at like 400 degrees for like two hours. Bon Appetit, my nigger.